No Such Thing As Normal
by girlfromkerteh
Summary: Forming the Marauders was the best thing that happened to all four of them, they lived for the camaraderie. But friendship doesn't come without a few misunderstandings, secrets, fights etc. These are a few events that took place from their fourth year through sixth year. Jily and Wolfstar ;)
1. Fig Leaves

**Author's notes: Hi peeps, this is my first attempt at writing and English isn't my first language, so please forgive my habit of using too many commas hehehe  
** **Disclaimer: As you know, the world of Harry Potter and its characters belongs to JKR, the plot is mine, and a few other characters.**

* * *

"Great Godric!" someone said loudly, and Sirius awoke with a start. He'd been falling asleep over his corn cereal at the Gryffindor table.

"What is it?" he asked, and Frank Longbottom passed the _Prophet_ to him.

Sirius took one look at it and mumbled, "Whoa."

"What?" asked Peter, and Sirius showed them the article. On the front page of the Daily Prophet, there were some Ministry members holding up a large black and white photo of a vicious looking man snarling at the camera, above which, the headlines read, 'GREYBACK STRIKES AGAIN- _Panic in Crawley._ '

James's eyes widened as he took the paper and read it out loud.  
" _On Wednesday, the neighbourhood of Bluebridge, Crawley, was terrified to a degree of panic when the bodies of three young girls were discovered in the early hours of the morning. The girls, now identified as Melissa, Meryl and Molly Allerton of 31, Garrick lane, Bluebridge, were found in a public park, savaged to death by a werewolf. The theory primarily formed by the Magical Law Enforcement squad who had arrived at the scene, was that the unfortunate victims had first been killed in their own back garden, then dragged all the way to the park. There were some marks of blood observable in the victims' back garden. The bodies were discovered by a muggle by the name of Arnie Bellom of 34, Garrick Lane, on his morning walk-"_

"Wait, how do they know it's a werewolf?" asked Peter, and James skipped to the gory details.

" _Melissa, Meryl and Molly were only nine years old, and...blah blah blah… bloody paw prints the size of a werewolf...teeth marks on the victims...the way the muscles and tendons were ripped out of the shoulder and back of two of the girls..some parts missing, most likely ingested..."_ James read out, shuddering involuntarily. _"...all clearly suggest the work of a vicious werewolf. This, coming within exactly a month of the discovery of the bodies of Terry Everleigh and Anna Barris - not to mention the fact that the girls' bodies were found just a short distance from the location where Everleigh's and Barris' bodies had been found, caused even the muggles in the area to speculate that something paranormal or occult-ish maybe occurring in Bluebridge...a man with features similar to prior descriptions of the werewolf, Greyback, sighted around the area during the past few weeks confirms…"_

"Wait a second, I've heard of this Greyback!" exclaimed Sirius, suddenly remembering.

"Yeah, me too! Apparently he's so ruthless and bloodthirsty that he kills and eats people even when he isn't transformed!" said Frank, taking the newspaper back.

James and Peter were shocked. "Those poor girls," said James sadly, and the others nodded.

"It's these kind of people who give werewolves a bad name!" said Alice Finbok crossly, and the Marauders exchanged looks.

"Yeah, not all werewolves are like Greyback," said James, and Alice and Frank nodded.

The entire school was talking of nothing but the werewolf attacks, and the Marauders worried about Remus. He'd just been discharged from the Hospital Wing that morning, and he said he would skip breakfast and meet them directly at their first class, Transfiguration.

"We can't let Moony know about this," said James to the other two, as they walked through the secret passage from the Entrance Hall to the -fig corridor.

"It's sure to drive him off the deep end, remember what happened after the lesson on werewolves in our second year? He didn't speak to anyone for days," said Sirius, nodding.

"Yeah, it was terrifying when he broke that bedpost!" said Peter, and Sirius chuckled fondly at the memory. "But how?" continued Peter dolefully. "How do we prevent him from finding out? The whole school's talking about this. He's bound to find out sooner or later."

When they reached the Transfiguration corridor, Remus was waiting for them outside the classroom, and he waved cheerily at them as they approached. He sensed their fear and protectiveness as they got nearer and smiled reassuringly at them. "Madam Pomfrey says I'm all good. According to her, I can run a marathon now," he joked and they laughed.

"Yeah, let's just get through the day first," Peter said then, avoiding his eye, and Remus saw the other two glance at Peter briefly, and wondered what was up.

The professor opened the door and everyone filed in. The class was exciting as usual, and due to Professor McGonagall's strict nature, no one mentioned Greyback at all. It was the same through Defence against the Dark Arts, but the three Marauders were nervous as they walked down to the dungeons for Potions. They had Potions with the Slytherins, and Professor Slughorn always indulged them instead of telling them off. They were sure to bring up the topic. As expected, halfway through class, some of the Slytherins were whispering together and James thought he saw a copy of the _Prophet_ change hands. He and Peter exchanged resigned looks.

"What is going on there? Gladstone, Altham? What is that you're holding?" asked the Professor. James saw Sirius turn and look past Remus worriedly in the direction of the Slytherins.

"It's just today's _Prophet_ , Sir," said Brent Altham, politely handing it over to the teacher, but he waved it away.

"Keep it, Keep it. I understand that today's news has got everyone on edge, it's alright," he told them. Remus looked at Sirius curiously, but before he could reply, someone asked the professor to elaborate. "Another attack by Fenrir Greyback. He is one of the most vicious and monstrous werewolves alive today. He….he attacks only children. Most of these children die, but if they live, they of course, become werewolves just like him!" said the Professor savagely.

Sirius nervously glanced at Remus again, who was mouthing the word 'Greyback' to himself, while staring at the professor.

"Why hasn't he been captured and put down, Sir?" asked Altham eagerly.

"He's very clever, and eludes capture every time. The last time he was arrested, he pretended to be a Muggle tramp. By the time the Ministry officials realised who he was, they'd already let him go," the Professor explained.

"So he's just gonna keeping killing people or turning them, and no one's gonna do anything about it?!" asked Frank, horrified.

"Well as the article says, the MLE are onto it, but Greyback must be long gone by now, they won't find him," the professor said with a certainty that Remus felt, reeked of hatred.

He turned to look at Sirius and saw that Sirius was adding moonstone powder to Remus's cauldron using a tiny bronze spoon. "Thanks," he said. "I literally forgot we were still brewing…" Sirius nodded and smiled.

The questions continued about Greyback, and slowly the topic expanded to werewolves in general, to whether they should be allowed things, whether they were beast or human, etc. Remus went back to his potion, but the Marauders knew he was listening hard. He couldn't help it.

"Sir, what is your opinion on werewolves?" Remus heard Severus Snape ask.

"Personally, I dislike the beasts in general. But Greyback? He should be put down as soon as possible," Slughorn replied.

"Why not put all the werewolves down, Sir?" asked a boy in the back. Some students exclaimed.

"What's that fuckwit's name again?" Remus heard Sirius ask James and Peter.

"Walden Macnair. I once saw him kill five bramblings for fun," said Peter.

"That bastard will kill anything that moves!" muttered James through gritted teeth.

"Now now, Macnair, to go to such an extent is unthinkable. We want Greyback put down because he has attacked children!" Slughorn said.

"Macnair should be put down!" Alice whispered vehemently to Frank, who nodded at her.

The Marauders smiled at each other. "Maybe Alice has a relative who's a werewolf," Remus whispered to the other Marauders, they nodded.

"Are you saying that's it's okay if a werewolf attacks an adult?" asked Snape immediately, and the class started whispering to each other.

"No, no, my boy, that's not what I'm saying!" Slughorn explained hastily. He didn't want the class to get the wrong impression of him. "What I mean is, there are some werewolves who have never attacked anyone, their families take proper precautions, you know."

"You mean they've never had a chance to attack, otherwise they would've," said Snape, satisfied.

"Er, yes I would assume so," said Slughorn.

"No they wouldn't!" said Alice loudly. "There are many werewolves who don't want to attack anyone! They take precautions themselves for the full moon!"

Some Slytherins in the back tables made chicken noises, 'Bok Bok _bok!'_ and everyone laughed, including many Gryffindors. Alice's last name was Finbok, and it was a constant source of amusement for the Slytherins. She was used to it, but now it felt like everything she'd just said had been ignored and invalidated, and she fumed. Her boyfriend patted her arm comfortingly.

Slughorn realised that things were escalating. "Er, Ms..er.. Please continue with your-" he tried.

"But Greyback likes eating children even when it's not a full moon!" Clarice Gladstone said loudly to Alice.

"I'm not talking about Greyback!" she yelled.

"If Greyback is a cannibal, we can assume that all werewolves are!" said Macnair.

"They are not!" Remus heard himself yell.

"How do you know? They're all dangerous!" Macnair yelled back.

But before Remus or Alice or anyone could reply, Slughorn yelled, "Enough! Anyone who has anything else to add to this discussion can do so after class! Now please continue with your brewing!"

The other students hastily went back to their cauldrons. Remus felt a hand on his own as he tried to steady his breathing, and turned to look at it's owner's face.

"Are you alright?" asked Sirius.

Remus rolled his eyes. _What do you expect?  
_ "Peachy," he replied sarcastically and quickly lowered the flame under his bubbling cauldron. Sirius made an exasperated face. He'd only been trying to help.

"Can I borrow your textbook?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius wordlessly handed him the book. It said he was supposed to mix it clockwise and add chicken spleen. He started mixing it clockwise.

"Moony, are you okay?" he heard James ask quietly after a while, poking his back.

Remus sighed. "I'm fine," said Remus, adding the chicken spleen. It was supposed to simmer for a minute, so he turned around to face James and Peter. "I swear I'm not a cannibal," he said, attempting a grin, and the others chuckled. "Don't worry, boys. I'm used to it now. I hear it all the time. I can't educate them all, but I'm not going to wallow in misery because of it," he added, and James and Peter nodded.

Remus turned back to his potion. He added some more ingredients and looked up to find Lily staring at him. She turned away as soon as he spotted her, and it made him nervous. _Did she hear me? Of course not, she doesn't have furry little hearing!_

"What?" asked Sirius, he had been observing his expression.

"Evans just looked at me oddly, but I don't want to be paranoid. It's probably nothing," Remus said, trying to sound casual.

"I don't think it's nothing, you just yelled at Macnair. You supported her friend," Sirius told Remus, but he could see that Remus was only half-listening. "What is it?" he asked Remus again.

"This name... Greyback. It sounds very familiar for some reason," murmured Remus. He thought back to his childhood, Greyback had been mentioned sometime by someone.

"He's been in the papers a few times. My family are always talking about these things. They love scandals of all sorts, unless of course, it's one of their own," said Sirius, remembering what happened with his cousin, Andromeda.

Remus glanced at Sirius sideways. "I can imagine," he said drily. He knew exactly what these old Pureblood families thought of half-breeds such as vampires and werewolves i.e, less than human, so he knew how the discussions would go. Often, people gossip about other people so easily, never thinking about how devastating these things were to the people who actually experienced them.

Sirius looked guilty. _That was obviously the wrong thing to say.  
_ He wanted to explain properly what he had meant, but suddenly, Remus's potion started smoking. "Shit!" he said instead. "What did you do, Remus?"

"Ugh!" said Remus. He was distracted.

"Did you add the stag beetle eyes?" asked Sirius quickly checking the recipe.

"Er... yes!" Remus replied.

"The dried fig?"

"Um, no. Bollocks!" said Remus, as they spotted Slughorn approaching.

"What happened?" he asked them exasperatedly. Remus was perpetually terrible at potion brewing.

"I forgot the fig, sir," Remus told him sheepishly.

Slughorn sighed. "Add double the amount of fig, plus two fig leaves, they're in the store. Go, get them quick!" he said and Remus jumped up quickly, then almost lost his balance and Sirius grabbed his arm to steady him. Remus glanced at him in thanks and walked to the store, all the while, feeling the Marauders' eyes on him, as well as Lily's. He quickly found the leaves and stepped out of the store again and closed the door. He turned to walk back to his seat, and he saw Lily watching him again. He walked directly up to her and asked, "What?"

She was surprised. "I just think it's nice that you supported Alice," she said and smiled up at him.

"Oh. Yeah, couldn't help myself," he said and smiled back.

"You know, I like to think of myself as good at potions, I could help you prepare for it, if you'd like," she offered.

Remus smiled. "I'd like that very much! Thank you!" he said.

"Mr. Lupin, what are you doing?! Fig leaves! Now!" Slughorn shouted, and Remus jumped. He saw Slughorn glaring at him, and the Marauders watching him curiously, and hurried back and added the leaves to his potion.

"Good, now keep stirring clockwise till you get a lighter shade of pink, then follow the rest of the instructions as usual," Slughorn told him. "Properly this time," he added, wagging his finger at Remus. Remus nodded at him and the professor walked away to inspect the next row. He looked up and saw Lily grinning at him, and he smiled back.

"Excuse me, what's happening here?" asked Sirius indignantly, looking between him and Lily.

"Yeah, what did Evans want? Why is she smiling at you?" asked James from behind him.

Remus chuckled and half turned in his seat. "Evans offered to help me study for Potions," he told them, and Peter's jaw dropped.

"Wow, she's so nice!" said James, looking over at Lily.

"Either one of us could have helped you with Potions," said Sirius crossly, pointing at James and himself.

Remus turned back to his cauldron and grabbed Sirius' textbook again to check the next set of instructions. "Yes, but she offered, _you_ didn't," he said.

He heard James and Peter chuckle, but Sirius said nothing. He just roughly snatched his book back, but the book had metal filigree corners and it scratched Remus' hand.

"Ow!" said Remus, blowing on his ring finger. It was bleeding, but not too much.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry," said Sirius, taking his hand and examining the cut.

"It's fine, it doesn't hurt really," Remus assured him, taking his hand back. He looked at his cut for a moment, and then put his finger in his mouth.

"Don't!" said Sirius and Remus froze with the finger still in his mouth. Then he quickly removed it.

"I'm not a cannibal, I swear!" he said again hurriedly, trying to ignore the fact that he actually liked the taste of the blood, even though it was his own.  
 _Maybe I am a cannibal and I just don't know it yet..._

"It's not that, Moony, you've been handling all these nasty ingredients, that's why I said 'don't'," he explained.

"Oh... right," Remus said, relaxing a little.

Sirius nodded, but he felt a little ashamed at the way he was behaving this morning. He didn't think he was being a very supportive friend, it looked like everything he wanted to say or do was coming out wrong, and he didn't know why.

Then Remus suddenly remembered where he had heard the name 'Greyback' before. "It was around the time I was bitten, dad had come home frustrated with a case…" his voice trailed away.

"Huh?" asked Sirius, and he looked around at the other two, they leaned in to listen.

"The case my dad was talking about… what if it's the same case Slughorn mentioned about Greyback pretending to be a tramp?" said Remus, his potion forgotten again. Sirius hurriedly read the recipe and added some ingredients to both their potions.

"So what?" asked Peter.

"He was on that case!" Remus whispered, and Peter suddenly got it.

"You don't think…" Peter began, but couldn't go on. Remus looked back at him with the most distressed face.

"What? What are you saying?" James asked Peter, but Peter covered his mouth with both hands in shock and stared at Remus. Sirius didn't understand either, and he was too busy handling both the potions to ask them anything.

Peter and Remus remained silent for the rest of the class, and when the bell rang, signalling lunchtime, Peter went up to the professor and asked him something, the Marauders watched as the Professor replied, and he nodded and walked back. They packed their stuff up and then followed the flow of students to the Great Hall.

"He said Hogwarts doesn't have old _Prophets_ ," Peter told Remus, who nodded.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," agreed James.

Peter sighed. "Remus thinks his father may have been on one of Greyback's trials back in the day... you know, when..." he said, raising his eyebrows.

" _Merlin_!" whispered James, and it sounded like an unfeigned prayer. Remus glanced at him and swallowed fearfully.


	2. Orange Candy

As the four of them sat down to eat lunch, Sirius just had to say it. "You mean to tell us, you were bitten by Fen-" he started saying in a low voice, but James shushed him angrily. All three of the looked at Remus and he looked back at them.

He felt extremely disgusted, and involuntarily hugged himself. "This is... I feel contaminated," he said to the others.

"Remus," said James, but he didn't know what else to say.

"Greyback is the worst!" said Remus. "Do you think cannibalism is transferable too?" he asked them.

"No," said James.

"You don't know that," Remus said, then he stood up determinedly.

"Where are you going?" asked Sirius.

"Owlery. I need to be sure!" he said, but James grabbed his arm.

"Eat something, you didn't even have breakfast," he said.

"I don't think I can, James, I'll be sick," he told him disconsolately and walked out of the Hall.

James felt miserable as he looked at the other two. Peter looked like he wanted to cry, but he busied himself with his lunch. James looked down at his plate and picked up his fork and ate a few bites.

Sirius pushed his plate away, he hadn't eaten anything. "I hate this! Why is there bad news again? As if he doesn't suffer enough already," he said, fuming.

James looked at both of them determinedly. "Lads, I know you're really worried about him right now, but that won't help him a bit. There's only one way we'll be truly helping him," he said. Sirius nodded sombrely but Peter looked confused.

"Animagi," James mouthed to Peter and he finally nodded in understanding.

"Eat quickly and we can go up to the library and search for the answers we need," he told them.

"I'm done," said Peter, letting his fork fall with a clatter. He wasn't really done, but they knew it showed how much he wanted to help Remus.

"I'm not sure we will find answers to our question in the school library, you know," said Sirius, as they walked up to the library. "D'you think Minnie will let us go through her notes?"

James and Peter laughed. "We've searched dozens of times, we never found where she keeps them," reminded James.

"Wait…" Peter said and paused dramatically. The other two looked at him. "We never could find her notes, but she does have every copy of _Transfiguration Today_ since she started teaching here!"

"Merlin's toupee, you're right, Peter!" said Sirius.

"There's bound to be something in there about animagi," said James, forgetting to whisper, the other two shushed him.

"Dunno about animagi, but there will definitely be something about -fig potions in those books… And we also need to find out whether or not we can substitute the _Parivarthanam Charm_ with the _Hanova Charm_ ," said Sirius.

"But why change the charms? Isn't it better to use the prescribed ones?" asked Peter.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure we're gonna be able to pronounce the Sanskrit spells correctly," Sirius replied, but Peter still looked dubious.

"Don't worry, Peter, James is our -fig expert, he can handle it," Sirius told him, and James nodded aggressively at him.

"So, when do we break into Minnie's study?" asked Sirius, delighted at the prospect of breaking into a professor's office.

"One at a time, Sirius," said James, trying to be the rational one for once.

 _Dear mum and dad,_

 _I saw in the_ Prophet _today about a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback who had attacked three children. Apparently he is in the habit of attacking children. My Potions Professor mentioned a case involving Greyback pretending to be a muggle to escape prosecution. And it made me think about that case you were involved in, dad._

 _Please tell me the truth. Do you really not know the name of the werewolf who bit me? Was it Greyback? I don't blame you for not telling me all these years, I know you were doing it to protect me. Already I feel like I'm contaminated because it might be him, because I've heard he's a cannibal. Please reply, please tell me the truth._

 _-Remus._

Remus sighed. It was almost seven in the evening and he was exhausted, but he still couldn't stomach eating anything. He had read the article in the _Prophet_ six times now, and he almost knew it by heart. He remembered what Slughorn had said about Greyback specialising in children. He was sure now, that it really had been Greyback who had bitten him. Words from the article kept coming back to him as he tried to listen to Lily explain the difference a clockwise stir caused from anticlockwise one _… muscles and tendons ripped in the way only a werewolf would...I wonder if I ever attacked someone, it would appear in the same way..what the hell am I thinking... if I ever attacked anyone, I'd kill myself… I wonder if dad will even reply..._

"-mus? Remus, are you listening?" he heard, and that brought him out of his reverie.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm not usually like this, I swear!" he told Lily.

"Hey, it's okay," she said, patting his hand. "Look, we've been at it for almost an hour. Let's forget about it for now," He tried to smile, but couldn't.

"Is everything alright, Remus?" she asked gently.

"Er, not really…"

"You don't have to tell me," she said and leaned back in her chair. He copied her.

"Sorry, it's quite complicated," he said and she nodded, and reached for her bag and pulled out a Muggle chocolate bar.

"Want some?" she asked, smiling impishly.

"Hell yeah!" he said and took the piece she offered.

"I know you like chocolate, you're always eating it," she said, and he laughed.

"Yes, I _love_ chocolate, it's my life!" he told her.

She laughed at him. _He seems so mature and decent, but at the same time, he's eating the chocolate with the happy abandon of a child._

They talked about their favourite chocolates, and Remus told her all about the Muggle chocolates and candies he had tried.  
"The orange candy in the shape of orange wedges! Yes, I love them too!" Lily said, and she looked up past Remus at fifth year Prefect, Dorcas Meadowes, who'd just arrived.

"Hey Dorcas," she said, and Remus turned around.

"Hi Dorcas," he said, and she smiled down at them.

"Hi. Um, Remus..." she said, and his grin sagged.

"What?" he asked worriedly. Lily looked curiously at him.

"Your parents are here to see you," Dorcas told him, and Lily saw Remus tense his shoulders.

" _What?_ " he whispered, not wanting to believe her. _They can't be here...no!_

"Your parents are here to see you, Remus. They're waiting for you in Professor McGonagall's office. I'm to escort you there," she told him slowly.

He stood up as if on autopilot. "I'll see you later," he told Lily and followed Dorcas out of the library.

Lily sat there in the corner of the Potions section and sighed. _I hope it isn't too bad, whatever the issue is. Wait, doesn't he go home every month to visit his sick mother? Then how come she's able to come here to visit? There's definitely something amiss..._

She then heard footsteps approach and looked up again, it was Severus. "Hey Sev," she said, smiling up at him.

"Hey Lily," he said, sitting down beside her and putting his book bag on the table. "What were you doing with that Lupin?"

"What do you mean? We were studying, I was helping him with Potions," she said, pretending she didn't notice the disguised hostility in his voice.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because he needed help with Potions! You would've known this if you had sat beside me today. Why didn't you?"

"Didn't look like that, you were all giggly and feeding him chocolate," he accused, ignoring her question.

"We were studying before, and then we took a small break," she said, getting more nettled.

"So where is he now?" he asked.

"None of your business!" she snapped and he knew he had to back off.

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry," he said, and her expression softened. He awkwardly opened his books, and they sat reading for a few minutes before he spoke again. "So what do you think about the whole Greyback discussion in class today?"

"I really don't want to talk about it if you're gonna bash Alice. Or Remus, because he's a nice person," she told him sternly.

" _Remus_? Since when are you and him on a first name basis? I thought you hated that gang of imbeciles!" he asked angrily.

She looked at him irately. "I've always liked Remus, ever since our first train ride together. He's decent and I appreciated the way he supported Alice today. At least someone's got their priorities right," she told him waspishly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I was talking about Macnair," she said calmly. "How can he say that all werewolves should be put down? That terrible!"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about that discussion? So it's okay for you to bash my friends, but not okay for me to bash yours?" he asked.

She blinked at him. "Walden Macnair is your friend?" she asked, horrified.

"Er, not exactly. Can we just stop fighting please?" he asked, and she sighed.

"Yeah," she said, and he smiled. Lily loved that smile, it had been a long time since she'd seen that smile.

"We hardly study together anymore," she said. "What do you keep doing when you say you're busy?"

"It's- it's nothing, I just have to study with the others in my house now, you know how it is in Slytherin," he said vaguely.

"Hmm." She wasn't convinced.

Up in one particular Gryffindor dorm room, James Potter was getting frustrated. "Okay, concentrate now, Sirius! What is the matter with you? You managed to open your Root Chakra fine, the last time... am I going to have to lecture you again on how important this is?" he asked.

"I know, I know! You don't have to lecture me! I care about Remus just like you, alright," yelled Sirius.

"Oh yeah? Doesn't seem like it. You're daydreaming!"

"I am not-"

"James, stop it!" Peter said loudly, and the other two stared at him. Peter never raised his voice. Like ever. He blushed as he spoke again. "Look. Clearly, Sirius is worried about Remus." James looked at Sirius' face. "It's nearing curfew and he's still not back from his study session with Evans," Peter continued. "Can't we just go and check on him now, please?"

James nodded. "Let's go to the library and get him," he said, and the other two jumped up.

"Thought you'd never suggest it!" said Peter and Sirius smiled.

They looked around the library and spotted Lily and Snape laughing together. "Look, there she is, but she's with _Snape_ , not Remus!" said Sirius angrily.

"What the hell!" said James. "For the life of me I can't see what she sees in him!"

"Focus, James. Where's Remus?" said Peter.

"Let's find out," said James in a dangerous voice and walked directly towards them.

"Oh no!" said Peter and they hurried after him.

Snape looked up and his expression changed from laughter to disgust immediately.

"Hi Evans, you're looking beautiful today," said James, and Lily made an exasperated face.

"Come looking for Loopy Lupin?" Severus asked him, sneering.

"Say that again, _Snape,_ and you'll regret it!" James told him through gritted teeth and Severus stood up.

"Sev, please," Lily said, grabbing his hand. Severus could see that that made James angrier, and he sat back down again, smirking.

"Look, no one's here to talk to you, so you can wind your neck in, Snivellus," Sirius told Severus coolly. "Evans, do you-"

"Then fuck off, why don't you, Black?" Severus replied, equally coolly.

"Why don't you fucking mind your own business, Snape?" James growled.

"I actually was, until you three bundimuns decided to splatter on our faces-"

"Severus!" Lily said, taken aback at his attitude.

James had his wand out in a flash and Severus did the same. It was as if he'd been waiting for this very moment. "You won't get away this time, Potter," he said.

"Stop it, this is a library," Lily tried in vain.

"What will you do, Snivellus? Weep at us?" asked Sirius, and Peter chuckled.

"I was not crying that day, Brock's asthma medicine blew into my eye!" said Severus pointedly.

"Sure sure, and my name's Nicholas Flamel-"

Severus shot a hex at Sirius and James blocked it. But the flash of light from the _Protego_ drew Madam Pince's attention immediately. "Duelling in my library?!" she shrieked, running towards them. "No respect for books! Get out, the three of you!"

"He started it!" yelled James. "He shot a hex at us, I just blocked it-"

"Where's your fourth?" she asked, looking around.

"Look, that's what we came to find out-"

"GET OUT!"

The three Marauders stood fast, but a bunch of books rained on them, banging against their heads and they had to run out if they didn't want to incur brain damage. Severus sniggered, but Lily was too angry to even scold him. The two spent a few minutes in silence, and then Lily heard her name being whispered. She looked around and spotted Sirius under a nearby long table.

"Evans! Where's Remus?" Sirius mouthed. She then ignored him pointedly. "Evans, _please_... where is Remus?" Lily looked around, she'd never seen Sirius look so worried before.

"He-"

"Wait, did he even come here?" Sirius whispered. Lily nodded quickly. But she didn't feel like telling him anything about Remus in front of Severus. It felt like a violation of privacy. She stood up, squeezed past him and crouched in front of his table.

"Evans-"

"His parents came here to see him," she said in a low voice.

"What! Are you sure?" asked Sirius, and she could see he was trying to hide his bewilderment.

" _Yes,_ Black. We were studying, and Dorcas came to tell him that his parents were here… and this was almost an hour ago," she said, checking her watch.

"Oh," he said, simply. "Oh. Okay, thanks Evans," he said, touching her shoulder lightly.

"Wait, I have his books," she told him. She walked back to her table and gathered Remus' books up and handed them over to Sirius, as Severus watched resentfully. Sirius took the books, nodded at her and managed to walk out of the library, avoiding Madam Pince's detection by ducking behind two giggling third year girls.

"What was that about? Didn't you just say you only like Lupin and not the others?!" demanded Severus angrily.

"He only asked me where Remus was!" she replied.

"Why did he have to touch you? He did that on purpose!" said Severus, frowning.

 _He did that out of gratitude because I had the common sense to not tell him in front of you, Severus, you git!  
_ "Severus, he was just thanking me, alright," she said, sitting down not next to him, but in front of him.

"Lily, they're my worst enemies. They bully me all the time, you know this. Fine, Lupin doesn't, but you just _can't_ friends with the others! I just won't let you!" he said forcefully.

"I'm sorry, you won't _let me_?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"If you have a problem with Macnair, I have a problem with Potter's gang," he told her plainly.

"I see," she said slowly, after a few moments. "Severus, I know the Marauders are arrogant show-offs and I also know they do bully you on occasion."

"That's an understatement, they hexed me last week!"

"But don't think that I don't know why they do it. I know all about how you throw all kinds of hexes and jinxes at them whenever you can. I just watched you provoke Potter for absolutely no reason!"

"Like I said, I provoked him because they hexed me last week-"

She held up her hand to stop him. "Let's make a deal, I don't talk about your friends, and you don't talk about mine," she said.

"Does this mean you're gonna make friends with Potter too?" he asked furiously.

"You're breaking the deal already," she replied coolly.

"I didn't agree to the deal yet," he said quickly.

"People in Gryffindor are my people, just like people in Slytherin are yours, don't forget that," she said.

Severus sat and fumed.

"Severus, can we forget about other people and just enjoy each other's company?" she asked.

"Okay, deal," he said, and they shook hands sombrely.

* * *

 **Author's note: Hi guys, I hope you liked my first two chapters. Please please review and let me know what you think of it, your opinion is very valuable to meee :) :) :)**


	3. Strawberries

**Author's note: Hi lovelies. So, to write this chapter, I've had to do some research on werewolves. There might still be some inconsistencies, however - werewolf legends vary a lot in technical details hehehe. I did my best xx  
**

* * *

Lyall Lupin paced the office as he told his son the horrifying truth of why Greyback had come to bite him. He turned every now and then to gauge Remus' reaction as he uncomfortably made his way through all the case details. But Remus sat in his chair as if frozen, staring at the floor with a blank face. His wife Hope, sat in her chair, unshed tears in her eyes as she watched her son. She could see his expression shift minutely as the story went on, and she wished he would just scream and yell at them instead of just sitting there.  
Minerva was looking warily at both father and son. She was getting worried about Remus and inwardly cursed the _Daily Prophet_ for printing the news about Greyback.

Lyall knelt in front of Remus and took his hands in his own. "I'm sorry, son. I really am. All this is my fault, every bit of it," he said.

Remus looked into his father's eyes, they were kind of sunken and his face more lined than he remembered, and he didn't know what to say. All he knew was that he had guessed everything quite accurately, the moment Slughorn had mentioned the case. Lyall thought Remus was too mad to speak to him, so he gave up and went back to his own chair. Remus looked up at both his parents, they were looking back at him with guilt in their eyes.

"Remus, say something, please," said his mother.

"Are you saying that you were prejudiced against werewolves?" he asked his father eventually.

Lyall looked like he'd been slapped in the face. He couldn't speak.

" _Lyall,_ " Hope prompted.

Lyall took a deep breath. "Yes," he said in a low voice.

"And are you still-"

"Of course not, Remus!"

"Because- because of me? Because I was bitten?" Remus saw his mother dissolve into tears. She knew exactly what he was asking. He was asking if Lyall would still be prejudiced against them if he had not been bitten.

"Yes," his father replied.

Remus looked at his father for a few moments. "Well, thank you for being honest at least today," he said, and saw his parents exchange glances. He then thought back to the morning's conversation with Sirius in Potions. He'd been angry at Sirius for mentioning how prejudiced his family was, but now he realised that Sirius was the first person to accept him without any hesitation or judgement. And he did that despite his family's beliefs. _  
_As he looked at his mother, he knew she had accepted him without hesitation too, even though she was a muggle. Then he thought that she'd accepted him like that _because_ she was a muggle. Because she didn't really know about the dangers werewolves posed, and because she didn't grow up with prejudice. Unlike his father. _I guess it's really not his fault. He's only a product of his beliefs._  
"I don't blame you," he told them.

Minerva closed her eyes in wonderment. _This boy. How does he do it? Where does he get the strength to forgive so easily?_

"I mean it," he told them. "It's not your fault, it's not any of ours."

His mother walked up to him and hugged him, full-on sobbing now. "We love you, Remus," she said.

When she let go, Remus wished his father would come and hug him too, but he just sat there. _Maybe he feels too guilty to hug me. Or maybe he's still prejudiced, I don't know, I don't care._ "I'd like to go back to the Tower now," he mumbled after a while.

"Okay Remus, you may leave now," Professor McGonagall said, and he got to his feet. His parents didn't say anything, they simply watched as he left.

Minerva reassured the worried parents that she would do everything in her power to help Remus. As she was telling them about his supportive friend group, someone banged on her door. She glared at the door, knowing it was that 'supportive friend group'. Finally, James couldn't take it anymore, and he announced that he was coming in, and turned the knob and walked in.  
He stopped abruptly when he saw the Lupins. He took in Mrs. Lupin's red eyes and then Professor McGonagall's glare.

"Mr. Potter, I haven't authorised you to come in! You can't just do whatever you want! I'm putting you in detention for a week," she told him, and Hope was shocked at the sudden change in her demeanour, and the severity of the punishment.

"I accept," said James calmly, "I'm sorry to barge in like this, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, (they nodded at him,) I fully appreciate the lateness of the hour, professor, but where the hell is Remus?"

Minerva took a deep breath. She decided she wouldn't tell him off for using the swear word. "He went back to Gryffindor Tower," she told him calmly.

"Perfect," she heard a sarcastic voice speak from behind James. She leaned to her right and saw Sirius and Peter trying to peer inside. She caught Sirius' eye and subtly raised her eyebrows and said, "Well, get going then." As she expected, Sirius understood her immediately and said, "Come on James, let's go," and pulled James out quickly and shut the door.

"What are you doing, mate?" asked James angrily. "I was going to ask her-"

"McGonagall wants us to go check on him," he said, walking as fast as he could.

"When did she tell you that?" asked Peter, jogging to keep up.

"She told me with her eyes Petey, get with the programme," said Sirius, and James chuckled.

"Don't call me Petey, why don't you get with that programme?" Peter said, annoyed.

They reached the Portrait hole, and tried to give the Fat Lady the password, but she was already asleep.

"Hey Fat Lady! Wake up! We gave you the password!" yelled James, but nothing.

" _Tentacula_!" said Peter again. Still nothing.

Sirius banged on the Portrait. Not that they thought it would work. "This is ridiculous! Why is she even in charge when she won't allow us in? She should be fired!" he said angrily.

"I'm awake," she said lightly. "I also wanted to teach you three a lesson. Where were you all this time? It's past curfew, you know?"

"We were with Professor McGonagall, you can go and ask her if you want," said Peter and she looked down at him, eyebrow raised.

"Well... okay!" she said casually and walked sideways out of her painting, leaving an empty backdrop. And since there were no paintings nearby, they wouldn't know where she could have reappeared next.

"Well done, Peter. Really, well done. This is great, so great!" said Sirius sarcastically. "I will seriously slash her painting one day! I swear I will!"

"Siriusly?" asked Peter, grinning, and Sirius got ready to launch himself on to Peter. James held him back.

"There's no use fighting, we're stuck here, so let's get comfortable," he said, letting go of Sirius, and sat down on the cold stone floor and crossed his legs.

Sirius removed his shoes and sat on them.

"What a girl you are, Sirius!" James teased.

"Well, excuse me if I don't want to freeze my bum off," he said indignantly.

They sat there for ages, it seemed, nearly dozing off. Peter was snoring. "It's really unfortunate. We were supposed to be looking out for Remus, and just when he needs us, the Fat Lady has to play us like this!" fretted James .

"If you had looked up, you would have known that I was back ten minutes ago," she said, chortling.

Sirius growled and gave the password again. They slowly stepped through the hole and he resisted the urge to slam it. They ran up to their dorm room and slunk inside, only to find Remus' bed curtains closed.

"Well that was fun and completely useless," said Peter, and he stalked off to his own bed. But Sirius walked over to Remus' bed and pushed the curtains apart, he wasn't there.

"I had a feeling he wouldn't be there," said James, and they stilled as they realised a shower was running in the bathroom. He gestured to the others to follow him and opened the door cautiously. As soon as he entered the bathroom, he felt goosebumps erupt all over and his heart rate quickened. He heard Peter whimper behind him. There was something spine-chilling in the air.

"Remus?" James called, standing outside the occupied cubicle. No response. "Remus are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," they heard Remus say, but something in his voice wasn't right.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, Peter was shaking his head anxiously at him. _He's pushing it!_

"Just leave me alone!" said Remus rudely.

James touched the cubicle door concernedly and they heard Remus utter a frustrated "Arrrgh!" and punched the exact spot where James had touched then the door. The door cracked. James involuntarily took a few steps backwards and bumped into Sirius, who steadied him. Peter ran out quickly.

"You should go, I can't… I can't control it!" Remus told them from behind the door.

James gestured at Sirius to follow him and walked to the doorway from where Peter was watching nervously. Sirius looked at the cracked wood on the door. "You thought the werewolf who bit you was just like you," said Sirius, leaning on the door, ignoring the silent protests James and Peter were directing towards him. Then Sirius heard scratching sounds from the door. Then he watched as Remus's bloody splintery fingers appear through the crack, ripping out some slivers of wood, like a wolf digging in the ground. His eyes widened in shock as two yellowish eyes peered at him through the hole.  
"Moony…" he managed to say, wishing desperately for them to go back to olive green, and Remus's heart broke as he noted the fear in Sirius' voice.

"Sirius, go!" Sirius' heart skipped a beat when he heard the werewolf speak. It was not a human voice.

"You're already controlling it! You would have ripped out my throat by now if you hadn't!" Sirius told him, and he heard Remus slap his hands on the watery floor, splashing the water around. Sirius looked over at James, he didn't look scared anymore.

"What happened?" he asked him, but all he got as a reply was a moan, which sounded more canine-ish than human. "Say it!"

"It _was_ Greyback! Greyback bit me!"

"Your dad told you that?"

"The committee wouldn't listen, and he got angry and shouted at Greyback, that... he said _werewolves deserved nothing but death_!"

"What!" James and Sirius shouted, outraged.

"So Greyback had to get his revenge on dad, so he bit me!"

They were stunned.

"He bit me on purpose! He would purposely…" Remus started to say, and then they heard another bang of a fist colliding with the wall and tiles breaking off.

"Remus stop it! Stop hurting yourself," James begged.

Sirius saw his eyes shine with tears. He knew that James hated seeing Remus get hurt. He cautiously looked through the tiny hole in the door, Remus appeared to be crouching on the floor, breathing heavily. Then James realised that his glasses hadn't fogged up, even after the shower was running for so long.  
"Sirius, if he sits in that cold shower any longer, he's gonna get sick," he whispered.

"Cold?" asked Sirius and James showed him his unfogged glasses.

"Moony?" Sirius called, looking through the hole again. There was no response again, so he took out his wand, muttered _Alohomora_ and pushed the door open. Remus was sitting on the floor under the shower with his feet beneath him, hugging himself. Sirius looked at the cold shower water splashing on his pale body and at all the scars underneath the flowing water. He had seen Remus' werewolf scars a few times before, but it was still overwhelming every time. There were so many of them. The bite scar on his upper right arm was the most prominent, but it was an old one. Some new ones on his thighs looked to be still healing. They were still red and raw, and Sirius didn't realise he was staring until he met Remus' eyes, which still glowed yellow as Remus glared up at him.

"Sirius, what are you _doing_?" asked James, suddenly appearing behind him. He walked around the two of them and shut off the freezing shower and handed Remus his towel, not caring that he'd gotten completely soaked in the process.

Sirius saw Remus blink a few times and his eyes returned to normal. With tremendous self-control, Remus resisted the urge to lick his fingers clean, and the blood stained the pure white towel as he wrapped it around himself and slowly got to his feet. James led him back to his bed and handed him his pyjamas. Remus put them on without bothering to wipe himself off and sat back on the bed and closed his eyes.

Sirius walked over to the bed and sat beside James, looking around for Peter.

"He went down to the kitchens," James replied, anticipating the question.

Remus opened his eyes. "I'm so sorry, James! I… I tried really hard to control it, but I couldn't,"

"But you did, look at you! You're calm now," said James bracingly, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder.

Remus pushed his sopping wet hair roughly off his forehead and looked away. He was still agitated.

"Moony, just tell us what you're thinking. You don't have to hide everything. We can handle it, alright?" said James.

Remus flicked his eyes at James. "Mum and dad lied, they told me they didn't know who'd bitten me," he said in a quiet voice. "But I don't care about that, I know they did it to protect me."

"Protect you from what? Isn't it better to tell you the truth?" said James crossly.

"What did knowing the truth achieve? I just feel crappy now."

"Because of your dad?"

"My dad?"

"About what he said. That werewolves..." asked James warily.

"Deserved nothing but death?" asked Remus, chuckling humourlessly. "I don't give a shit about that… I've seen tonnes of people who are as prejudiced and bigoted as he was. You heard them in Potions today, right?"

"But this is different, Remus. This is your dad-"

Remus frowned. "So, what? The only reason he isn't bigoted now, is because he sees me. And when I saw him today, I got this feeling... that he still thinks any werewolf other than me is fair game."

Sirius and James exchanged looks. They'd always known that Remus's relationship with his dad wasn't the best, but this was the first time Remus was actually talking about it. Then there was a brooding silence for a few moments, which was interrupted by Peter, who walked in holding a gigantic tray, with the invisibility cloak hung over his shoulder. He smiled at them and put the tray down on Remus's bedside table and sat down beside them.

James pressed Remus' shoulder gently. "I'm so sorry, mate."

"He is who he is. I don't really care…" said Remus, shaking his head dismally. "All this time, I thought I'd been bitten by someone who was helpless, you know... someone who hadn't been able to take any precautions… but Greyback wasn't helpless! He did this on purpose!"

Peter looked at Remus sadly.

"It's the ones like Greyback that've made lives difficult for the rest of us!" said Remus, fuming.

Sirius took Remus' right hand, it was the one he'd used to tear a hole in the door, and as a result, was full of splinters. Remus pulled his hand away with a huff, even though it throbbed painfully.

"Remus, that looks painful," said Peter.

"What did I do?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing," Remus replied, still not looking at him.

"Then why won't you look at me?" he asked.

Remus looked up at Sirius, who held out his hand again. Remus gave him his right hand. Sirius looked at the hand closely.  
"Does anyone know the charm to remove foreign objects?" he asked, but no one did. "I doubt _Accio_ would work here."

"Yeah, _Accio_ will probably hurt a lot," said James. "We need to go to the Hospital wing, Moony."

"Eating first," Peter said, and removed the lids from the tray to reveal chicken sandwiches, chocolate chip muffins and strawberries. He handed Remus a muffin.

"I don't feel like eating," Remus told him, pushing his hand away with his uninjured one.

"What about a chicken sandwich? They look delicious," said Sirius brightly.

"No! Leave me alone," Remus replied rudely.

"What about the strawberries, they're juicy and fresh," Peter tried. Remus stared at him, saying nothing. "I know you like strawberries, Moony."

James held out a sandwich. "Even Sirius has had nothing to eat since breakfast, you know," he said.

"What? why?" Remus asked.

"It's true, I don't know how he did it. He says he won't eat unless you eat," said Peter, nodding gravely.

Remus glared at Sirius. "Fine! I'll eat!" he said huffily and took the sandwich James was offering.

"Excellent," said Sirius, reaching for a sandwich too.

"This is manipulation. You can't do this!" said Remus crossly.

"I can do whatever I want," said Sirius.

"Well, I can too!"

"And you did."

"I don't want to be responsible for you going hungry all day!"

"You're not. I am."

"You didn't have to do this!"

"I did."

"I had my reasons!"

"So did I."

"I physically couldn't eat after knowing what I knew!"

"Well… I mentally couldn't eat after knowing what you knew."

"Don't _ever_ do that again!"

" _You_ don't ever do that again."

"Shut the hell up and eat! Both of you!" ordered James and the two Marauders hastily bit into their sandwiches. They ate their food quickly, realising how hungry they actually were.

"Now we're going to see Poppy," said James, handing him his coat.

Remus really didn't want to go see Madam Pomfrey. "Ugh, she's gonna scold me," Remus muttered as he gingerly put his coat on.

"Yeah, well you deserve it," Sirius told him, and he scowled.


	4. The Queen

As long as Remus was in classes, he managed to forget about the whole Greyback thing, but as soon as it was break or lunch, his mind couldn't help but drift over to that muddled place. It worsened when Lily asked him if everything was alright now.  
"Yeah yeah, I'm totally fine," he said to her, sporting his best smile. But it had been an obvious lie. He wasn't okay. This tragedy had happened to him, and knowing the truth about why it had happened was worse than the actual lycanthropy. He thanked the universe for giving him such talkative friends who were doing their best to keep his mind off it. After the last class on Friday, he lay on his bed, listening to James and Peter argue about the state of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and laughed to himself.

Sirius walked over, grinning, and silently sat down beside him on the bed. A few minutes passed, and James and Peter were still arguing, although now the topic had changed to Quidditch teams they were supporting in the League. "Remus, why were you so angry?" asked Sirius, and Remus looked up at him, confused.

"When?"

"You know when, last night!"

James and Peter stopped arguing abruptly and looked over at them, and Remus figured that this interrogation was rehearsed. He narrowed his eyes at James and Peter, who looked abashed. "Because of Greyback, I already told you-"

"Yes, but what made you lose control like that? You never lose control," Sirius observed.

Remus looked at his face, it was set. "Ugh! I don't know how to explain it!" he finally said, sitting up.

"Try."

"Well," began Remus, and exhaled sharply. "As you know, being a werewolf is complicated. It's not as if I had all these extra senses and abilities from birth, I got them when I was bitten."

"We know that," said Peter, and James shushed him.

"Go on," he prompted Remus, sitting down on the bed.

"Hmm, yeah. Maneuvering through daily life without getting caught is difficult for any werewolf. I think the reason I'm able to control... I wouldn't call it control. I don't control them all the time, really. Um, the reason I'm able to blend them in with my human senses, is because I own them now. Do you get what I mean?" he said. The others shook their heads.

"I mean, I've claimed them as my own. They're not just the wolf's senses now, they're mine too. Do you understand?" he asked them. Sirius and Peter nodded uncertainly.

"Yeah, I guess," said James.

"Since I've claimed them, it's a bit weird to say this, but since I've claimed them as my own, I've gotten very attached to them, like one gets attached to a pet," Remus told them, and they nodded.

Sirius smiled. "Fascinating."

"But yesterday, when I realised that it was Greyback who'd given them to me, I basically tried to separate myself from them. But that made the wolf feel betrayed and confused, and it lashed out at me….and in turn, at you guys." he told them.

Ohhhh," said Peter and James, but Sirius looked shocked.

"But how does that work? Have you ever separated the lycanthropy from yourself?" asked Peter.

"It doesn't! That is _so_ dangerous, Moony!" Sirius scolded.

"It is?" asked James.

"Yeah! What were you thinking? Lycanthropy is a magical condition, you all seem to forget," Sirius replied.

They all looked at Remus angrily.

"I know that. The wolf is a parasite… if he goes, I go."

"Moony!" James exclaimed.

"I wasn't thinking!"

"Promise you won't ever do that again," said James.

Remus hesitated. "I'll try..."

"You have to promise," James insisted.

Remus sighed. "I promise," he said, knowing it would be a difficult promise to keep.

"Good. And what about now? How do you feel now?" asked James.

"I'm still really confused about the whole thing. And I still think the wolf's mad at me," he replied, pouting. He knew his next transformation was not going to be easy, but he wouldn't tell the others that. He didn't want to worry them anymore than they already do.

"I think I get why you'd be confused, but I also kind of get why the wolf's mad at you," said Peter, and Remus chuckled.

"What?" asked Peter, grinning.

"I'm constantly surprised by you guys. Every time I come up with another werewolf concept, in my head I'm like, 'Oh this is gonna be so embarrassing,' or 'They won't get me at all, and they'll finally see me for the weirdo that I really am,' but you lads just go with it. It amazes me every time," he told them happily, and they all beamed at him.

"You're right. We're pretty great, aren't we?" said Sirius and Remus chuckled. "See it this way, Moony. Greyback bit you, But you're not him. And you'll never be like him," Sirius went on.

"Yeah, I was gonna say that too. You kept worrying about the whole cannibalism thing, but that's all Greyback. Not you. The way you just talked about blending all your senses, it proves that you won't become like him. Greyback was already too far gone even before he was a werewolf," said James.

"Exactly! So yes, he bit you. And yes, it's terrible. But you're more than a bunch of acquired traits. And him biting you should basically be inconsequential in regard to how _you_ navigate your lycanthropy. Am I right?" Sirius said. And Remus listened, and slowly nodded and gave him a small smile. James was really proud of Sirius for saying all that.

"Well, we all know the best thing that came from this whole affair," said James, after a while.

"What's that?" the other Marauders asked.

"You became friends with Evans! Which is _so_ excellent!" he said, and the others laughed.

"One-track mind, this one," said Peter, poking James in the ribs with his wand. "Wanna lose at chess again, Jamesie?"

"I'll win one day, Pettigrew!" shouted James dramatically and stalked over to his trunk to retrieve his chess board and pieces. Peter followed him, chuckling.

Sirius and Remus grinned at each other. The game progressed, and they watched Peter laugh unkindly at James for the seventh time in a row.

"You can't do that! You just can't!" yelled James.

"Your Queen was unprotected!" argued Peter, grinning broadly.

"What happened?" asked Remus.

"I took his Queen with a Pawn," Peter told them, and they chuckled. James folded his hands and fumed.

Sirius turned to Remus. "Remus, can I ask you something?" he asked.

"That in itself was a question, but sure. Go ahead," said Remus, grinning.

"Yesterday when I opened the bathroom door, I er..." said Sirius, hesitating. It was definitely a little awkward to say what he wanted to say.

"What?" asked Remus, looking at him curiously.

"I know you don't like it when we mention your scars-"

Remus turned away, clicking his tongue impatiently. He really hated any mention of his scars.

"Don't be angry, Moony," said Sirius, trying to catch his eye. "Listen to me." Remus turned his head towards him again. "The ones on your thighs, they looked a bit sore... they didn't look healed."

Remus unconsciously put his hand on his thigh. Those were the scars he'd acquired from his latest transformation. A few more to add to his ever growing collection. Remus dreaded the day his entire body would be so crisscrossed with scars that he wouldn't be able to look at it anymore. Then he removed his hand from his thigh quickly. "They are fine," he said shortly.

"No they're not, why can't you ask Madam Pomfrey for something to put on them?" said Sirius.

"Because nothing works on them, they're cursed scars," said Remus.

"Yes, I know that," said Sirius. "I wasn't talking about their appearance, I was saying they looked painful. Surely Poppy could give you something for the pain-"

"They aren't that painful-"

"Still-"

"I don't want to talk about them!" said Remus loudly, and James and Peter looked over. James wondered what would happen if he had moved another piece, so he changed the positions of some chess pieces, just to check, but Peter's pieces alerted him.

"Oy! Oy, look what he's doing!" shouted a Knight.

"You sneak-thief!" shouted another piece.

"James!" said Peter, shocked.

"I was just moving them to see what would happen if I had moved that way!" said James hurriedly.

"He's lying!" shouted another piece.

"Yeah, we won't co-operate if there isn't a fair game!" said the King, folding his hands.

"Revolution!" shouted the rest of the pieces.

"Alright, calm down!" said James. "I'll not do that again! You know I'd never cheat!"

"Yeah, I know, that would be such a Slytherin move," said Peter, grinning.

"Exactly," said James, and they went back to their game.

"Why do you get like this when someone mentions your scars?" Sirius asked Remus seriously.

"Because they're a reminder of my condition!" said Remus vehemently. "My transformation is only once a month, but I have to keep hiding its reminders all the time, I can never be free, I can never be normal, I can't just wear a fucking t-shirt and be done, can I?! Always having to cover them up!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," said Sirius, not knowing what else to say.

Remus looked at him. "It's not your fault," he said slowly.

"I know, but I just want you to know that you don't need to cover them up in front of us, at least," said Sirius, gesturing at himself and the other two.

"You say that, but I saw you staring at them last night, don't think I didn't notice," said Remus.

"I wasn't disgusted or anything, I was just... looking," said Sirius guiltily. "Was that why you were mad at me last night?"

"Huh?" asked Remus.

"Or was it the wolf? One of you was mad at me," said Sirius.

"We weren't. The wolf wasn't mad at anyone other than me," Remus explained, although he'd been sure that Sirius had fully grasped the concept already.

"No, I know the wolf was mad at me. It was still watching me through your eyes when I opened the door yesterday. But when James appeared, it retreated. And then you didn't want to look at me or touch me," Sirius told him directly. "Don't think _I_ didn't notice _that_."

Remus gaped at him.

"Have- have I done something else to offend the wolf?" Sirius asked innocently.

 _I keep forgetting how observant he is.  
_ Being a werewolf was hard. But being a hormonal teenage werewolf was harder. Lust was a new concept for both human and wolf. And when in a frenzied state, the wolf sometimes got confused with human emotions, like it thought sadness was joyful, or anger was lust. Or vice versa. This wasn't exactly the first time it'd happened, and Remus assumed, that's what'd happened last night. The wolf _had_ retreated. But then, as he'd sat naked and wet under that shower and looked up to see Sirius checking out his scars, instead finding it was mortifying, he was turned on.  
 _Because wolves have no sense of shame or embarrassment. Yep, that was definitely the wolf. Not me._

"Hello... Moony?" asked Sirius, waving his hands in front of Remus' face. Remus turned away, blushing slightly, and it made Sirius's stomach a bit jittery. _Merlin, he's adorable._ "Why are you blushing?" he asked.

"No, I'm not-" Remus began, and gave up. "The wolf wasn't mad at you."

"So, what happened then?" asked Sirius.

Remus panicked. _Obviously, I'm not gonna tell my best friend that he'd turned me on._ "Don't- Don't worry about it, mate," Remus told him.

"Remus, did you know? Whenever you blush, it's only the lightest pink, you never turn completely red or something," Sirius observed, nudging Remus's cheek with his fist.

 _You're making this worse, Sirius!_

He chuckled as Remus blushed again.

"I'm going to sleep, bugger off," Remus told him, lying down and pulling the covers from underneath them, forcing Sirius to stand up.

"Hey!" said Sirius indignantly.

"Go away, Sirius," he heard from under the covers.

"But aren't you going to tell me what happened last night?" asked Sirius.

"No, it's nothing, you don't have to worry," said Remus, hoping he would drop it.

"I'm not worried, I'm just curious," said Sirius.

"Goodnight, Sirius," said Remus with a stern voice.

"Right. Goodnight." Sirius looked down at the light brown hair sticking out from under the duvet and shook his head, smiling to himself.  
 _I could probably spend the rest of my life trying to figure him out._


	5. Every Flavour Beans

"I should have brought my book down," whined Remus, absently kicking the seat in the row in front. Peter and Sirius shook their heads at each other. They could never understand why Remus wasn't as passionate about Quidditch as they were.  
 _I mean, even when our very own James is on the team?!_  
They were eternally trying various tactics to get him more interested in the game, and today it involved dragging a sleepy, grumbling Remus to watch the team practise for the first game of the season. It was safe to say that it wasn't working.

"Oh my God, Compton saved it!" exclaimed Peter, pointing at their new Keeper. They watched as James and the other chasers zoomed toward him and encouragingly thumped him on the back.

"Looks like James' skills are going to be put to the test this year," said Sirius, chuckling, and Peter looked at the Keeper admiringly.

Remus merely scoffed.

"It's so damn warm this morning! Five minutes in and I'm already sweating like a _pig_!" they heard Compton say as he took his Gryffindor jersey off and flung it to the ground. His teammates chortled as they got back into position.

"He's got that right," mumbled Remus to himself. But Sirius didn't hear that, he was busy admiring the Keeper's body. And as the practise went on, his eyes kept darting back to the Keeper.

"She's caught the Snitch again! That's twice already!" said Peter, pointing at Bronte, their Seeker.

"Yeah they don't need to practise this much if you ask me," muttered Remus.

"But this is literally their first practice?" said Peter, perplexed.

"Well it's really hot," he complained.

"I know you just want to read your book, Remus," said Peter smiling.

"Um..well, as a matter of fact, I do. It's way better than watching them practise," said Remus, smiling to himself as he anticipated Peter's reaction.

" _What!_ But the practice is where you get to see how their skills improve…! And what the new players' strengths are...and- and- Sirius?" said Peter, turning to Sirius for help.

Sirius usually loved to give his opinion on anything and he had the most elaborate opinions about the smallest things, but Quidditch was one of the topics he could go on about forever. So it was odd that he wasn't saying anything right now. Remus looked over too. Sirius was gazing at the goalposts.

"What are you looking at?" Peter asked him.

"What? Oh um...nothing. I was just thinking," he replied, turning to face them.

"Sirius Black thinking? That feels foreboding," said Remus and Peter laughed. Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus.

What about?" Peter asked him, still laughing.

"Well, I'm not going to tell you now, am I?" Sirius replied, trying to sound casual.

"Why are you being weird?" asked Peter, grinning.

"I'm not being weird at all," Sirius replied, frantically thinking of a topic.

"Oh, just spit it out, " said Remus, chuckling.

"Er, it's just silly. I was thinking how the Every Flavour Beans don't have water as a flavour!" Sirius said to them, and chuckled nervously, and Remus and Peter laughed again.

"You're right! Maybe we should write to them!" said Peter.

"Even water from different places tastes different though!" said Sirius.

Remus laughed with them, but he knew this wasn't what Sirius had been thinking about. _Sirius never calls his own opinions silly, no matter how silly they are. He also never wastes any time telling us any of his silly opinions._

"Mmmm water…" said Sirius, taking a sip from his goblet at dinner that evening. Peter chuckled.

"Huh?" asked James, and Peter explained the joke to him.

"That's deep, mate," James told Sirius.

He grinned at James, but beside him, Remus was shaking his head. "What? You don't think that's deep?" he asked Remus.

"Tell us what you were _really_ thinking about. And I'll tell you if that's deep or not," said Remus with his eyes narrowed.

"Wait, what?" said Peter, surprised.

"Why would Sirius call his bean idea silly?" said Remus, now smirking. Sirius blinked at him.

"Sirius, no fair. It's you who's always telling us, the Marauders shouldn't have secrets," whined Peter.

"Come on Sirius Black, _tell us, tell us, tell us_ …" James started chanting, and Remus and Peter joined in.

But Sirius just looked scared. He didn't say anything.

"Mate," said Peter, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "It's us."

"Okay, fine! Just stop chanting!" said Sirius.

They fell silent and looked at him intently.

"Er, I can't say it here in the Great Hall," muttered Sirius.

"Let's go back to the dorm," suggested James.

"Wait, I haven't even started my dinner yet! I'm starving!" exclaimed Peter.

"Yes, let's eat!" said Sirius hurriedly. He was glad he didn't have to tell them yet. _I'm gonna have to escape it somehow. They would surely hate me if they knew the truth...they would probably want nothing to do with me after this!  
_ He suddenly felt confused and sad. Was this really something he needed to tell them and risk ruining his friendship, which was the best thing that ever happened to him? _Why couldn't I have come up with a better lie?! And... ugh why did Remus have to be so observant?  
_ He looked up at Remus, who was sniffing his goblet of water before taking a sip, and couldn't help thinking how adorable he could be sometimes. Remus then looked up and saw Sirius looking at him. Sirius immediately looked down at his plate.

"Sirius?" he heard Remus say.

"Hm?" he said, putting a forkful of spaghetti in this mouth without looking up.

"What did you mean when you said, not all water tastes the same?" asked Remus.

"Just that water at my house tastes different from here. And the water in France tasted totally different too," replied Sirius, finally looking up.

"It's due to the difference in the mineral content in the ground," said James.

"Ah, of course," said Remus, nodding, and Sirius heaved an internal sigh of relief.

When they had finished eating, they walked back to the Common room, Sirius dragging his feet. He couldn't come up with any story or anything to tell the others.

"Marlene, what are you up to?" he said, spotting her at a nearby table and walking over.

"Reading," she replied, holding a book up.

Lily was drawing up the chair beside her to take her seat, but Sirius plonked down in it. "Snallygasters?" he asked, looking at the title. "Interesting choice."

Lily scoffed and put her hands on her hips and looked angrily at James.

"Er, we'll get him out of your hair, Evans," said James hurriedly, and he and Peter got hold of Sirius on either side and pulled him out of the seat.

"No!" he said, struggling to free himself.

"You cannot escape this time!" said Peter.

"Marly, help! They're kidnapping me!" yelled Sirius, but Marlene simply laughed at him and a few people around them sniggered. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Nooooooo," moaned Sirius, but they pulled him all the way out of the Portrait hole again. "I thought you said we were going back to the dorm?" he asked them.

"Yes, that was before we realised you would use any excuse to escape," said James, nodding at Peter, who nodded back. They marched him all the way up to the Astronomy tower.

"The more you try and resist, the more curious we become. So your best option is to just tell us," said Remus.

"Remus, this is all your fault!" he said loudly, but Remus just chuckled.

Then, Remus noticed a boy and a girl standing a few feet away, frozen. They looked to be seventh years. _Shit._

"What are you doing here?" James asked them naively, and Remus elbowed him in the ribs, but James was clueless.

"I have rights! And my right to privacy should be respected!" Sirius was yelling, not noticing the couple.

"Quit stalling!" said Peter.

"Clear out, this meeting is Marauders-only!" James said to the couple and they quickly slinked away. Remus shook his head exasperatedly. Peter and James pushed Sirius onto the floor, and sat down in front of him.

"Privacy, my arse. We tell each other everything!" said James.

"It is embarrassing!" shouted Sirius.

"So what? You know every embarrassing thing about us!" said James.

"It's probably not that embarrassing anyway. You're overthinking it," said Remus.

"Oh yeah? Well, first you must all promise that you won't stop being friends with me, after you've heard it," said Sirius seriously.

"Oh come on Sirius-" James began, but Sirius held up his hand.

"Swear it!" said Sirius. He looked agitated.

"Okay okay! We swear!" said James, and Peter nodded.

"We swear we won't stop being friends with you," said Remus, smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing... it's just funny that you're making us swear-"

"It is most certainly not funny, Moony!" said Sirius, angrily.

"Come on Sirius, you guys still talk to me after you found out I'm a _werewolf_. What could be worse than that?" asked Remus.

"There are some things," said Sirius, sadly.

"Merlin's pants, just say it!" said James.

Sirius looked at the three of them. _This is probably the last time they'd be so interested in hearing what I have to say._ He took a deep breath. "So this morning, right…." he began, but gave up.

Remus frowned, thinking about the morning's events. _Being forced to go and watch the practice... Compton saving James' try, Sirius staring at Compton, his new flavour idea, Spinnet- wait a second._  
Remus looked curiously at Sirius. _Is he...is he gay? If so, forcing him to tell us isn't-_  
"You're right!" he said loudly. They all looked at him, Sirius' face confused. "This is my fault. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed it when you clearly aren't comfortable telling us."

"But Remus-" started James, but Remus shook his head at him.

"Look lads, back in first year when you constantly used to ask me questions about my scars, my sick mother, and where I went and everything, it was extremely overwhelming," he told them. "Sometimes I wished... never mind. I know how it feels to be pressured."

"Oh, Remus, we're so sorry!" said James, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"It's fine," said Remus, gesturing with his hands. "The point is, you don't have to tell us, Sirius."

Sirius stared at him, James and Peter glanced at each other.

"He's right. You can tell us whenever you're comfortable," said James, nodding.

"Or not," Peter added.

"Or not, yeah, your choice," James said quickly, and Sirius smiled at his friends. He would tell them one day, just not today.


	6. Chocolate Muffins

It wasn't an easy task the Marauders had set themselves. Becoming Animagi at this age was entirely illegal, not to mention highly dangerous and risky. But they'd made up their minds to do it for their furry little friend's sake. They hit many roadblocks and they had no one to turn to except books. Last night had been a fateful one as Sirius and James ended up in the Restricted Section of the library in their quest for answers.

"Look," James whispered, as he pulled out a likely looking book titled _Perilous formes of Transfigurationes in Warme-blooded Creatures, by Grampus Andreassen._ Sirius nodded, bringing his lit wand closer. They brought their faces nearer to the book, trying to decipher the faded ink in the index, when they heard the library door creak open. They froze, looking at each other, eyes wide.

" _Sniff around, my sweet…_ " they heard Argus Filch murmur. Sirius frantically _noxed_ his wand and the two boys stood in silence with the invisibility cloak draped over themselves and praying to Merlin and all the Gods to not get caught. James squeezed the book a little too tightly in his nervousness, and it suddenly let out a hoarse groan.

"Who's there?!" shouted the caretaker and jogged in their general direction.

James panicked. _If we stay here further, Mrs Norris will just sniff us out.  
_ "Run!" he yelled, and Filch grabbed wildly in their air as the boys pushed past him and ran out of the library. They kept running until they turned a corner and reached the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower.

"Wait... stop!" panted Sirius, sitting down on the bottom step. "Lemme just catch my breath!"

"Yeah!" said James, removing the cloak and sitting down beside Sirius.

After a few minutes, Sirius looked at James. "James, where's the book?" he asked with consternation.

James's eyes widened in horror. "I dropped it on the floor when we ran! Gulping Plimpies!" he exclaimed, smacking his forehead.

"James, you nutcase! They'll figure it out!" Sirius growled.

Before James could say anything, they heard someone clear their throat. James frantically stuffed the cloak down the front of his robes before turning around slowly. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore stood at the top of the stairs, the firelight behind him making his silhouette impressive. He looked down at them solemnly with his hands behind his back.

 _Fuck!  
_ "Professor," said James, nudging Sirius, who seemed frozen on the step.

"Out of bed again, I see," he said casually.

The boys looked at each other.

"I for one, don't have any problem with students doing extra study," he continued joyfully. "But the rules say I'm to hand you detentions."

Sirius registered the plural in the punishment and looked up at the headmaster in dismay. But this only seemed to make him chuckle.

"Professor Slughorn is always in need of help organising his ingredients' store..."

Thus, the current evening found James and Sirius in the Potion master's stores. Sirius watched his best friend mop up the spilt boar bile while muttering furiously, and wondered how to begin.

"Why would anyone put bile in anything other than a clay pot? Everyone knows bile is caustic!"

"James?"

"What?"

"Apparently, Dorcas Meadowes caught Lanyon and Avernus from Slytherin snogging in the North Tower. I overheard her telling her friends in the Common room yesterday."

"Lanyon and... Tom Avernus from fifth year?" asked James, playing with the mop handle. Sirius nodded apprehensively.

"Wait a second, why were you eavesdropping?" James asked him suspiciously.

"I didn't do it on purpose, it was when I borrowed the cloak to go to the Kitchens. I was walking past them when I heard it," explained Sirius.

"Hm. I didn't know Lanyon was gay," he said casually, and went back to mopping the bile.

Sirius heaved a sigh of relief. _James isn't homophobic, Thank Godric!_

James noticed that Sirius was quiet. _Did being raised in the Black household make Sirius hold archaic views about homosexuality?  
_ "There's nothing wrong with being gay, Sirius. It's perfectly natural," he told him.

"Yeah, yeah! I know, James," said Sirius, trying not to laugh. " _I_ don't have anything against homosexuality."

James frowned. "What is it? Why are you laughing, then?" he asked, leaning on the mop.

"No I'm not laughing because it's funny…" said Sirius, smiling.

"Oh, really? Am I just realising after four years that my best friend is homophobic?" asked James, now really nettled.

"No!" he exclaimed. James looked at him sternly. "Why would _I_ be homophobic, James?" he then said slowly. "I'm- I'm gay."

James stared. For a whole minute, while Sirius uneasily tried to arrange the powders in alphabetical order. "For Salazar's sake! Say something, James!"

" _Salazar's sake_?!" asked James, grinning.

"You know I can't help saying that when I'm really anxious. It has nothing to do with House loyalty," said Sirius grumpily, turning back towards the shelf.

James chuckled and then watched him for a moment before going back to mopping the boar bile. A few minutes later, Sirius looked at James again.

"What, Sirius?" asked James, letting the mop handle fall towards Sirius and folded his hands. "You have something else that you need to tell me?"

Sirius caught the mop handle. "You're not mad at me, are you?" he asked doubtfully.

"No, I am not," said James. "Why would I be?"

"And you're not disgusted...?" he asked quietly.

James frowned. "I assure you, Sirius, I am not," he said firmly and Sirius nodded, gave him back the mop and turned to the vials again, but James just stared at him. "You have the typical misunderstood teenager thing going on," he told him.

"I am a teenager, so that's to be expected," said Sirius, picking up the vials he'd been rearranging. He didn't like the turn this conversation had taken. "But what is odd, is that you, being a teenager yourself, are pointing out such things."

"Yes, I'm also a teenager, that's why I'm saying that your whole 'no one understands me' vibe won't work with me. _I_ understand you."

Sirius pretended not to hear that comment, he scanned a glass jar with a dubious-looking plant in it. "You know, I believe this is Wartizome... should be in the W's," he said, standing on the tips of his toes, attempting to place it on the top shelf.

James walked over, snatched the jar from his hand and placed it in its right place .

"Thanks so much," said Sirius sarcastically, grabbing some other jars.

James tried to meet his eye but he wouldn't look at him. "You know, it's like you just expect the worst from people," he said and that made Sirius glare up at him.

"I do not," he said immediately.

"You've known me for four years now, you must have made some estimation of how I'd react to this news, and I can't believe you're this off!" said James, and Sirius understood what he was saying. James was a little offended that Sirius would even doubt his values. _Ugh_ , t _ypical Gryffindor._

"I was just thinking about that time back in September. This was the big secret you didn't want to tell us, right?" James went on crossly.

"Yeah..." said Sirius, remembering how Remus had saved him. "I wasn't sure how you'd react. I'm sorry."

"You didn't have to be embarrassed about this at all. It's a perfectly normal thing," said James. "This isn't the middle ages, mate!"

Sirius smiled. He felt so relieved. He felt a warm glow in his heart as he looked at his best friend, but the glow faded when he thought about his mother and father. "My parents..." he mumbled.

"Huh?"

"My parents," said Sirius, sadly shaking his head. "They're always so against it. They would be completely ashamed of me if they ever found out!"

"I can imagine," said James darkly.

"Yeah, no one's allowed to even talk or ask about these 'nasty' things, and even when it does get mentioned, they've have always talked about it like it's an _abomination_... or a crime," Sirius continued. "I think me coming out as a murderer would be preferable to this!"

"Wow. Your parents still _are_ in the middle ages! No wonder you were so afraid of telling us!" said James, realising. _That family. That family is the reason he is like this._

Sirius nodded. "I just want to keep this between us, for now."

"As you wish. But Moony knows," said James and grinned.

"What! How? Did he tell you?"

"No. I'm just guessing he knows. I felt like he knew what it was that day, that's why he stopped pushing," said James.

"You think so?"

"Just a feeling I got."

"Hmm... maybe he saw me staring at Compton that morning," said Sirius gravely. Then he laughed.

"Compton?!"

"Yeah, we were at your Quidditch practice that day and Compton took his shirt off-"

"Compton is hot, I give you that," said James, pulling Sirius into a headlock.

"Ow, ow the mop's poking me!"

James chortled and let him go. "Do I detect a little crush?" he asked.

Just then the door of the store cupboard opened and they whipped around. But it was only Remus and Peter, they were grinning. "Slughorn says you can leave, if you want. Met him at dinner," Remus told them.

" _If we want?_ What else does he think we'd want?! I can't believe almost missed dinner cos of that walrus! Come on!" said Sirius, quickly walking out. The others hurried to keep up. "Oh, and Jamesie, a simple clarification for you. Just because someone is nice to look at, doesn't mean I have a crush on them!" he said.

Peter and Remus grinned at each other, the topic of conversation intriguing them.

"Really?" asked Peter.

"Really! And if I do have a crush, I'll be sure to tell you, so you can all help me," he said happily.

"Deal!" said James, happily ruffling Sirius' hair.

"So who do you think is nice to look at?" asked Remus curiously, after a moment

"Dorcas Meadowes," James told him, face completely blank.

" _Dorcas Meadowes_?" asked Remus, perplexed. _What? I guess he's not gay after all. Oh well._

"Yeah, is that so unbelievable?" asked Sirius, trying not to grin.

"No. I just didn't think she was your type, is all," answered Remus, carefully walking over a trick step.

"Hold up," said Sirius, jumping in front of Remus, and placing a hand on his chest. "What's my type, Moony?" he asked, an almost invisible smile on his face.

"Oh.. um, I dunno. Someone more... ostentatious, perhaps?" said Remus, a bit nervously.

"Ostentatious? What do you mean?" asked James, still with a serious face.

"Oh, you know, someone loud and showy. Someone who makes themselves known amongst a crowd. Sort of like yourselves, actually," said Peter, chuckling.

Remus nodded. "Attention-seekers," he said and he and Peter chuckled.

Sirius stood aside, ushering them to walk down the stairs again. Behind Remus and Peter, James shook his head and mouthed 'He knows' at Sirius.

"How did you two end up in detention again?" asked Remus, and the other Marauders avoided each other's eyes.

"Er, we got caught going to the Kitchens," said James without thinking.

"Kitchens? Didn't you go down there in the evening too?" said Remus, turning to glance at Sirius.

"Well, we got hungry again, Moony… it's not unheard of," said Sirius, putting his arm around Remus.

"I see," said Remus. "So what did you eat?"

Sirius wondered if Remus believed him at all. He glanced at James nervously. _Ugh, he's too clever for his own good._

"Tiny cucumber sandwiches," muttered James.

They reached the Great Hall, only to find that dinner was finished. They grinned at each other. "I guess it's to the Kitchens again," said Peter, and they turned left towards the Hufflepuff corridor.

"Hmm, so Dorcas Meadowes, huh?" Remus asked Sirius, and Sirius unconsciously removed his arm from his friend's shoulder.

"I don't fancy her! Like I said, I just think she's quite... pleasing to the eye," he said, now a bit annoyed at James, but James laughed at him.

"She's more than just pleasing to the eye. She's brilliant!" Remus told them, and Peter and James grinned at each other.

"Is she?" prompted Peter.

"She is. She's the nicest, most helpful Prefect of all. _And_ she's amazing at Potions. _And_ she has the voice of an angel!" said Remus, now with a faraway look in his eye.

"She sings?" asked Peter curiously. "You've heard her sing?"

"Yes, last year. You guys were in detention. I asked her help with Potions, and she taught Frank and I a song to help us remember that list of basic potion ingredients," said Remus.

He tickled the pear, and Sirius smiled to himself as he watched Remus chuckle softly at the wriggling pear. They entered the Kitchens, only to find themselves face to face with the Head Girl Valerie Bones, and none other than _Dorcas Meadowes_ herself.

"What are you gentlemen doing here?" the Head girl asked them sternly.

"They missed their dinner because Professor Slughorn had them in detention," replied Remus politely, while the others stood slack jawed, staring at Dorcas.

"Fine, but no extravagant orders. Have your dinners and go back to the Tower quickly. Students are generally not allowed into the Kitchens," she told them. The boys nodded.

"Come on," she said to Dorcas and the ladies stepped out the door, Dorcas turning to wave to Remus before closing the Painting. Remus waved back happily. Peter and James grinned at each other again.

As the house elves placed their dinner in front of them, James and Sirius pounced on the food and began stuffing themselves. "Merlin, I'm starving!" said James, his mouth full of mashed potato.

After five minutes or so, Sirius noticed that Remus still had a small smile playing on his lips. "Moony?" he asked, and watched in slight trepidation as Remus' smile grew wider.

"Don't you just love Dorcas?" he said and sighed contentedly.

James and Peter chuckled. "I've never really spoken to her that much, but she seems really friendly," said James.

"You love her?" asked Sirius.

"Well, everybody loves Dorcas," said Remus, shrugging.

"You know, Moony, maybe you should ask her out," James said casually.

"What?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Great idea, James!" said Peter.

"You know, I never really thought about it," Remus said, wagging his finger in thought. "I'll be right back, I need chocolate," He walked over to the nearest house elf.

"What's the matter with you? You can't still be annoyed about Dorcas Meadowes!" James whispered, elbowing Sirius and making him spit out his water. "We're not linking _you_ up with her anymore." Then he grinned and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I have the perfect idea, let's set Remus up with her!" James added, his eyes glinting with mischief. Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh, uh..I don't know. He probably wouldn't like us interfering," said Sirius, trying to act natural. He didn't know why he was so against this whole Dorcas thing.

"Hmm, you're right, Sirius. So what do we do?" James asked, more to himself.

A house elf held up a large platter of assorted muffins for Remus, and they watched as he selected two, both with some form of chocolate in them, and walked back to them. "Ready to go?" he asked them, mouth full of muffin, and Sirius chuckled at him.

As they walked back to Gryffindor Tower, James and Peter proceeded to ask Remus about Dorcas and her friends. He seemed to know a lot about them, and Sirius wondered when he got all this information.  
 _Probably while James and I suffered through all those detentions.  
_ He imagined Remus and Dorcas hanging out, having the time of their lives, while Filch made James and him scrub the vile Ravenclaw changing room showers by hand. He felt extremely jealous.  
"If she's so great, she probably already has a boyfriend," he told them sharply as they stepped through the Portrait hole.

"That's a good idea, Sirius. I'll have to find that out first," Remus replied, looking around.

"Wait, who are you looking for?" asked Peter. "You can't just ask her that!"

"Of course not, he's looking for _Evans,"_ said James, smiling dreamily.

"Why is he looking for me?" they heard a voice behind them, whipped around. Lily and Alice were glaring up at them, and Marlene and Mary were stepping through the Portrait Hole, both holding a huge pile of books and looking curious.

"Hey Evans," James said, grinning. "You're looking heavenly tonight!"

Lily's lips thinned in annoyance. "I look like I haven't brushed my hair in days, the least you could do is be honest."

"I am in need of your professional services," Remus told Mary.

Mary had a reputation of being a sort of expert at getting information out of people. She knew almost everything about everybody. She handed her pile of books to Alice and stepped forward, raising a quizzical eyebrow. "No," she said simply.

"Oh come on, help a bloke out, MacDonald," pleaded Peter, nudging Remus. Remus held up his untouched muffin. Mary peered at the muffin dubiously.

"It's clean, I swear!" Remus told her, and her expression softened and she slowly reached for the muffin. Her hand almost touched the muffin when Sirius made an annoying little 'hmph'. Her hand stopped in mid-air. James elbowed him and Mary folded her arms angrily.

"Well, what? Do you really think Gossip-queen MacDonald is going to be of any help?" he asked, glancing at James and Remus on either side of him, and then looking directly at Mary.

"I'm sorry, Gossip-queen?!" asked Lily, now angry.

"Yes, you heard me, Evans. You know, maybe you," he said, pointing at Mary, who looked livid, "And Jorkins should start writing a gossip magazine," he said, gesticulating in a mocking way.

"What is _wrong_ with you, Sirius!" said James, pulling his hands down from the air.

"I remember Bella telling me about a girl in her dorm… Rita something. She would probably give you some pointers too," he continued meanly.

"See if I ever help any of you, Lupin!" Mary muttered, and then she, Lily and Alice stormed off, and only Marlene stayed behind, shaking her head at Sirius.

"Quite the spectacle, Siri," she said, laughing and trying not to drop the books.

"Thanks, Sirius. Because insulting her would have made her more eager to help me!" said Remus irately.

Marlene laughed again. "What did you need, Lupin?" she asked.

"Whether Dor-" Sirius started to say but James clapped his hand over Sirius' mouth and dragged him away. He still tried to tell her and she would have understood him too, if she had known whom he was talking about. Marlene laughed and laughed as they dragged him bodily up the stairs to the boys' dorm.

"She would have told us! It's Marlene!" Sirius shouted, as they reached their floor's landing.

"Normally, yes! But you insulted her friend!" shouted James. "She won't tell us, instead it'll become a source of amusement to them. A joke."

Remus cleared his throat loudly. James and Sirius looked over and froze. Two tiny third year girls were standing at their door, and Peter looked extremely guilty.


	7. Banana Muffin

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" James asked them, extremely confused.

The girls looked at each other excitedly. "We wanted-" one of them began, but Peter cut them off by discreetly gesturing to them to shut up.

They all glanced at Peter, and when he blushed awkwardly, James and Remus guessed that they were probably part of Sirius's 'fan club' and told the girls to leave. They quickly scrammed.

Sirius chuckled softly as he opened their dorm door. "So, now you're ruining Peter's chances, because I ruined Moony's?" he asked them, but they didn't say anything. " _Two_ girls? I like it. Did they come to see you, Pete?"

"Er... yeah," Peter replied.

"What are their names?"

"Elise Wimbles and Shonda something," he replied in a low voice. James and Remus glanced at each other nervously.

"Elise Wimbles? That name sounds familiar, Which one do you like more, Pete? I thought the girl with the long hair looked pretty," Sirius asked, idly. James nodded sternly from behind Sirius.

"Yeah that's Shonda," Pete replied, also nodding.

"Hmm."

A while later, Sirius went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and James and Remus rounded on Peter. "What were you thinking Peter?!" whispered James angrily.

"You realise, if Sirius remembers who Elise Wimbles is, he _will_ strangle you!" Remus told him, and he whimpered. Elise had been one of the many girls who had sent Sirius extremely noisy Valentine's cards last year. They would go off at regular intervals, and neither _Incendio_ nor any other hex had worked on them. Neither could they throw them out the window, because that would be so embarrassing.

"I wasn't going to, but they paid me two galleons..." he whined and Remus gasped.

"Two galleons for what?" asked James, his face uncomfortably close to Peter's.

"They just wanted to see our dorm," Peter whimpered, backing away against the wall.

"Peter, you can't be doing this kind of stuff. Sirius will see this as betrayal," he said, disappointed.

"Swear you won't do it again, Peter. And you'll return the money. A Marauder's word?" James asked him, and Peter nodded.

"I swear," he said earnestly.

"Have you done this before?" asked James, suspiciously, but before Peter can answer, Sirius came out of the bathroom, saw them standing over Pete, and chuckled.

"Interrogating him, are we? So, what did you find out about Shonda?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Nothing much yet, Sirius," said James, giving Peter a last mean look, and walking over to his own bed. Remus walked over to the bathroom to brush.

"By the way, Moony, I've been thinking, I'm sorry about that, alright. I don't know what came over me!" Sirius said, as he watched Remus brush, from the doorway.

"I know exactly what came over you," Remus replied thickly, mouth full of foam.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius, a bit nervous for some unknown reason.

Remus rinsed his mouth and looked up and Sirius through the reflection, still leaning over the sink. "Stupidity! That's what always comes over you! Why don't you ever think?" he asked, sounding vexed rather than angry.

"I'm sorry, Moony. I really am. Is asking Meadowes out really that important to you? Do you really like her that much?" Sirius asked determinedly.

"Why did you have to insult her like that, Sirius? You know she isn't like Bertha Jorkins!" Remus said. "Bertha had no sense of privacy."

"I know. But, you haven't answered my question," said Sirius calmly, folding his hands. He really needed to know.

Remus glared at him. _Answer your question? Oh, I'll answer it…  
_ In a split-second, Remus reached for his wand on the counter and directed the water from the running tap onto Sirius' head, drenching his hair completely.

"Nooo! Moonyyyy!" squealed Sirius and ran back into the room. The others burst out laughing.

Remus shut the tap and walked over to Sirius and threw a towel at his face. "You will apologise to MacDonald tomorrow. _And_ make it look sincere," he ordered him.

The heard a muffled noise from underneath as Sirius towel dried his hair.

"I'm sorry, didn't quite catch that," said James, laughing.

"I said, FINE!" shouted Sirius, pulling the towel off. "It's so wet. And cold." He shivered.

"Use a drying charm," Remus told him and walked over to his own bed, supremely unconcerned.

"Drying charms over-dry my hair," whined Sirius.

"Not my problem, Sirius. Let that be your punishment for insulting her like that," Remus' voice sounded from behind his curtains.

"Was it though, Moony?" asked Sirius. "Was it punishment for insulting her, or for not letting you find out?"

"Aren't they the same thing?" Remus asked in return.

"Not really. Think about it, Moony. If I didn't let you find out whether or not Meadowes is single, but I managed to do that without insulting anyone. You'd still be mad at me, right?"

Remus pulled his curtains apart again, his expression confused. "W-what are you trying to say?" he asked uncertainly. The others looked a bit confused too.

"I'm just trying to make you answer my earlier question," Sirius explained, pointing at the bathroom.

Remus didn't know how to reply to that. He was still angry with Sirius. "I'm so mad at you, Sirius," he said. "You can't insult people like that, you'll only end up alienating everyone."

Sirius made a face and rolled his eyes, annoying Remus even more, and he roughly pulled his curtains shut again. Sirius turned to look at James, but James just shrugged and walked over to Peter's bed. He could see Peter mouthing something to James from the corner of his eye. But he didn't care. He shut his curtains too and stared at the ceiling above.  
His brain felt both whirry and numb at the same time. Like he had so many emotions within him, but they were so deep inside, that he couldn't understand or experience them properly. But he hadn't always been like this. Once upon a time, Sirius Black had been very good at processing how he was feeling. Very good at emoting. But a natural result of growing up in the Ancient, most Neanderthal House of Black was that Sirius' emotions were met with either bored indifference, a slap across the face, or more commonly- ridicule. No one gave a shit about what he said, and on top of that, they deemed everything he said as wrong. Constantly.  
He thought he knew why his family behaved the way they did. It was because they didn't understand him. But this information didn't lessen the pain he felt when they brutally trivialised his suffering.  
When he came to Hogwarts, he hid behind a well-crafted feisty exterior of jokes and pranks, but it was really a fantasy of invulnerability. But making something funny was not the same as being happy. In reality, he was insecure and had low self-worth. Friends changed his outlook a little, but after years of humiliation for expressing his thoughts, he became quite good at acting like words didn't affect him that much... that he was perfectly fine. And when you get really convincing at pretending that you're all fine, people just assume you are. Which was what his friends thought. Because he never told them how his family treated him… mostly because he didn't really know who was wrong, him or his parents. He also didn't want their pity, he hated it when people pitied him.  
It was a defence mechanism so powerful, he became so skilled at concealing his emotions, that he deceived even himself, and that was the real problem. Now, his feelings ended up remote and inaccessible. Even if he did manage to delve deep and access one, he couldn't tell which emotion was genuinely his, and which may have been conditioned. It was as if he needed external validation to feel feelings, because he would constantly second guess.

He could hear James and Peter whispering, but he didn't catch the words. Soon, the lights were turned off and the other two went to bed as well. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, but then an emotion seemed to seep out. He felt very lonely and abandoned. He often used to feel this way when he was at home, but this was the first time he'd felt it since meeting the other Marauders. And the worst part was, that he didn't know he was allowed to feel it, nor did he know why he was feeling it. The sudden intensity of all this was overwhelming and his eyes filled with tears. He had to cast a silencing charm, or he would wake James with all his sniffling. Because James was a really light sleeper.  
After ten, or maybe fifteen minutes, or it might have been longer, he didn't know, he heard his name being called.  
But he didn't respond.

"Oh no. Sirius, what's wrong?" It was Remus. He felt him sit on the edge of his bed and gently try and turn his shoulders towards him. "Sirius. Please tell me what's wrong. Is it something I did?"

 _You've done nothing. It's not your fault at all, I'm just a messed-up person._ The tears wouldn't stop.

"Please say something," Remus said, now checking to see if his hair had dried.

But what could he say? Even he didn't know why he felt this way. Plus, he hated being vulnerable in front of anyone, because it was looked down upon, back home. "Nightmare," he said finally, noting how blocked his nose was as he spoke.

Remus sighed and shifted his position a little. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, his voice sounded very near.

"No."

"Well, why didn't you go to James?" he asked, leaning his weight on him a bit. His body felt very warm and comforting against Sirius' back. But he didn't answer.

"Do you want me to leave?" Remus asked, hoping he wouldn't say yes.

"No."

"I can go and get James if you want."

" _No._ "

"Did you cast a _Muffliato_ , Sirius?" Remus asked. He seemed to be trying to get some sort of answer out of him. "Sirius..." Remus muttered, putting his cold forehead on Sirius' warm neck. Even the cold felt nice. Apparently Remus thought he was too warm, and he felt Remus' hand on his forehead, checking to see if he had a fever.

"I don't have a fever," Sirius told him, finally turning around without meaning to.

And Remus hugged him. It wasn't a tight hug, but it felt like the best hug he'd ever received. It seemed to completely dispel every notion of loneliness from his brain. "If _this_ is what it feels like to hug a dark creature…" he trailed away and Remus chuckled.

Sirius shifted back a little, giving Remus more space on the bed, and Remus let go of him to move under the covers. As soon as he was comfortable, he swept Sirius' hair back and kissed him on the forehead. No one, family member or otherwise, had ever done that for Sirius before. The feeling was wonderful, and in that moment, Sirius didn't even remember who Dorcas Meadowes was. And neither did Remus.

"Love you, Moony," he said, hugging Remus again.

"Try and get some sleep, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. He'd never really understood the concept of safety that most people associated with 'home' before, but now he knew it. He felt it in Remus' arms. Remus was home.

The next morning, when Remus opened his eyes, his vision was blocked by a mop of black hair. He swept the hair away and sat up. Then he noticed it. He was hard. _What the hell?!  
_ He glanced at Sirius and thanked Merlin he was still fast asleep. He quickly got out of bed and almost ran into the bathroom.

Almost an hour later, Sirius woke up to James' voice. "-ought you had already gone down for breakfast, although it's really early... wait, your book bag is still here..haha, silly me!"

Sirius heard Remus chuckle softly. "Last night I went to check if Sirius' hair was still wet-" he began in a low voice.

"Great Godric, Moony! You know, if he caught a cold, it would serve him right!" said Peter. Sirius pouted.

"No, he told me he had a nightmare," he heard Remus say. And then he lowered his voice further, "He was actually crying..."

 _Wow, he didn't even attempt to preserve my manliness._

"What!" James exclaimed, and he heard footsteps approach. His curtains were pulled back. "Sirius?" James shook him. "Sirius, mate."

Sirius opened his eyes and grinned up at James.

"Are you okay? Moony said you had a nightmare."

"I am fine. Great, in fact. I don't even remember the dream," Sirius said, sitting up.

Remus was watching him from his own bed. He was already dressed in his school robes. "Good," he said, grinning. "Now, it's a School day. If you don't get ready, we'll be late for Charms."

The girls were sitting further up the table than usual. James shook his head. _Definitely Evans' idea._ "Hi Evans," he said as they approached the girls.

"Hello," Lily replied to be polite. James looked like Christmas had come early.

"Hi MacDonald. Sirius has something he would like to say," said Remus, and James pushed him slightly forward.

Mary simply glanced up at Sirius for a moment, then went back to her scrambled eggs.

"Er…" he said, and she looked up again. "Look MacDonald, I'm really sorry," he finally said, and had the decency to look sombre.

"For what?" asked Alice, who was sitting beside her.

"For saying those things to her."

"What things?" asked Lily.

"For comparing her to other girls."

"And?"

"Um…" said Sirius.

"For calling her names," Remus whispered in his ear.

"For calling her names," Sirius repeated, and the girls smirked at them.

"Why are you sorry? You clearly meant them last night. What changed?" asked Marlene quickly.

"I didn't mean them. I didn't mean any of it, really. I was just…"

"You were just what, Black?" asked Mary.

Sirius couldn't think of anything else he could say but the truth.

"I didn't want the... er... transaction to take place." He glanced at James, he and Lily were looking at each other in the same confused way. It was almost as if they were having a silent conversation of their own.

"What?" asked Remus suddenly.

 _Fuck_! Sirius turned to face him.

"I thought you said you liked her?" Remus asked him. The girls suddenly looked very interested in the conversation.

"When did I say that?" Sirius asked him blankly.

"Yesterday, on the way to dinner," said Remus, he looked completely put out.

"I only said she was pretty. But I just said that randomly. To be honest, I don't even think that," Sirius told him. The girls were hanging onto their every word now.

"I knew it!" said Remus. "Then why did you say that?"  
Then a look of realisation dawned on his face. "It was a joke…" he mumbled, unable to look the boys in the eye anymore.

"It was at first, Moony. But we took it seriously when you were-" James began but Remus silenced him with one look. The girls were impressed.

"Had a nice little laugh, did you?" he asked savagely.

"No, Remus! Like I told you, we were all for this idea. I even wanted to set you up, but Sirius didn't think it was a good idea," explained James.

"Clearly. But you could have just told me, instead of behaving like a _child_!" Remus chided.

Sirius hung his head.

"What do you have against her?" asked Remus.

Sirius glanced sideways at him and realised something. _Maybe I'm afraid of somehow losing you?  
_ But he didn't say that, if felt super childish to even think it. It sounded so dumb even in his head. _You are so ridiculous, Sirius!  
_ "Well, cos she's a year above us, but that just seems silly now," he replied lamely.

"Right," said Remus, but he still felt like something was off. He glanced at Marlene, but she and Mary were smiling at each other, and nodding subtly. Lily blinked thoughtfully at Sirius, and then her eyes flicked towards Remus.

Then Peter muttered quietly, "She's looking at us," and all eight of them turned to look up at the head of the table. Meadowes and Jordan were looking over at them warily. The Prefects were always wary of the Marauders, never knowing when they would set off a prank or cause some kind of commotion.

Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _If I am to redeem myself in Remus's eyes, I must do this.  
_ He turned to Mary again. "MacDonald-" he began.

"Yes, yes, you clearly didn't mean anything you said. Now what did you want to know?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Does Meadowes have a boyfriend?" he asked without hesitating. He could see the boys from the corner of his eyes, look at him in surprise.

Mary seemed mildly surprised. She turned to Remus with a small but kind smile, and said, "No. She's single. She's actually never had a boyfriend. She's sort of… how do I put it?" and turned to Lily.

"She's sort of a... lone wolf," said Lily, and she didn't understand why the boys laughed at that.

"What?" she asked, assuming they were laughing at her.

"Nothing. Our Remus isn't afraid of a challenge, are you?" said James, clapping him on the back. Remus grinned at him.

"Well, since we've helped you, where's my muffin?" Mary asked Remus.

"Sirius will get it to you," said Remus, grinning at Sirius.

"Yes, I will," said Sirius, bowing in front of Mary. "Will my lady tell me her preference of muffin flavour?"

The girls giggled, even Lily smiled a little. "Banana is my favourite," she replied.

"Thanks MacDonald," said James, Remus and Peter at the same time, and Mary grinned.


	8. Discarded Sweet Wrapper

It was a Friday night, a week before the Christmas holidays were due to begin. Some of the tables and chairs in the Gryffindor common room had been pushed to the side to make a space in the middle. Students from the upper years were sitting there in a circle, playing games. Everyone was a little tipsy, even though all they had was butterbeer, or that's what Lily thought. Unknown to her, Gareth Towler had been passing around a box of Jim Beam's liquor-filled chocolate bottles.  
She was just thinking about going to bed when Remus got to his feet. "Okay people, I think I've had enough silliness to last me the whole weekend, I'm off," he said and Lily smiled to herself.  
 _We are so alike!_

James was like, "Nooo Moony, stay…" and Sirius had held onto his leg, preventing him from taking another step.

"Sirius, come on, let go," Remus told him, but he was smiling.

Lily made a face. _Ughhh! What I never understand is why a normal, sensible person like Remus always hangs out with those idiots Black and Potter. Maybe it's a guy thing, whatever that is._

Remus then turned around and knelt down, making it impossible for Sirius to hold onto the leg.

Lily smiled to herself. _Not bad Remus, I guess you have to be a little witty to be able to deal with those mutts._

But then, Remus then hugged Sirius from the back, making him giggle.

Lily was boggled. _What the heck?!_

"Love you Moony!" Sirius called in a sing-song voice after Remus, as he walked away. Remus waved back to him without turning around and walked over to Dorcas' couch in the far corner of the room. Everyone was still talking and laughing amongst each other.

Lily made a face again. _What just happened? Jesus, they're so weird, all of them._

Sirius said in James' ear, "He smells like chocolate again!"

She didn't hear what he said, but now they were sniggering. She wondered if they were making fun of Remus. Then she tried to ignore them, but this was hard as she was sitting right across from them. James had seen her looking, so she turned away immediately, not wanting to see the annoying expression on his face.

James turned to Sirius and asked him quietly, "I wonder if Evans is straight?"

"Most definitely," replied Sirius.

"And how do _you_ know this?" James asked suspiciously.

"What are you implying, Potter?" asked Sirius, raising an eyebrow. James grinned at him. "I asked Marlene weeks ago. I now know all about our female classmates' preferences!" said Sirius, chortling.

"And does she know about you?" James asked him.

"Um, no. I wasn't sure, should I tell her?"

"Well, not if you're not comfortable," said James, gazing at Lily.

Sirius smiled and ruffled his messy hair, making it messier.

Lily turned to Alice who was sitting to her right and asked her what the time was. Alice glanced at her watch and said, "Wow! It's actually a quarter to eleven. Time flies when you're having fun, huh?".

Lily smiled at her. "Are you going to bed soon?" she asked.

Alice was just about to answer when Robbie Ronan said loudly, "Okay folks, settle down. Let's see what we have in here next," and everybody fell silent. He moved his hand around a big glass bowl containing small pieces of parchment folded up tightly. Each piece of parchment had either a task to be fulfilled or a question intended to reveal something personal.

"Wait, whose turn is it now?' Robbie looked around and asked, but then answered it himself, "Oh yeah, Black! Haha!"

Everyone looked at Sirius, who grinned broadly. "Hit me with it, Ronan."

Robbie moved his hand around in the bowl again, picked one and opened it, took one look at it and smiled mischievously. "Mate you are going to regret this so bad!" he said and chuckled.

"I'm not afraid, what is it?" Sirius said and sat up a little straighter.

Robbie passed the parchment to his classmate Felicia Vexmoor, who was sitting beside him, and said, "You do it, _I_ can't!" Everyone was intrigued.

Felicia looked at it, looked around at everyone and then laughed. Then, she shut his eyes tightly, screwed up her face and said quickly, "Kiss the person directly opposite to you," and there was a silence.

"Typical," someone said, and everyone laughed, they were looking excitedly at Lily, James and Sirius. It was common knowledge that James fancied Lily, and so everyone waiting to see how this would play out.

James glanced sidelong at Sirius and then at Lily. She was staring at Sirius.

"Okay then," Sirius said airily after a moment, and stood up and moved to the centre of the circle.

Everyone sniggered. Now everyone was staring at Lily. Iker Gomez, who sat to her left, nudged her. "That's you, Lily," he told her. "Go on, it's just for fun."

 _Fun for everyone but me. Why me?  
_ She stood up, careful not to look at James. Everyone ooohed and giggled. It was exceedingly awkward. She approached Sirius and looked angrily up at him. He put his hands in his pockets and smiled mischievously at her. Then without warning, he moved forward suddenly and she jumped back, startled. But he had stopped halfway and everyone laughed.  
 _If it had been anyone else other than these four pricks, I would've happily kissed them just to spite Potter! But, there's no use prolonging this_ …  
She stepped forward again, standing a little straighter this time and said to him, "Fine. just do it then."

Sirius leaned toward her again, slowly this time and she flinched a little and closed her eyes. Then, she suddenly felt a warm hand grip her fingers gently. She opened her eyes to see him bring her hand to his lips and kiss it. Everyone ooohed again and laughed.

"That's cheating…" Gary Dingle complained, and a few others agreed.

Sirius looked over to Robbie and said, "Sorry Robbie, but you didn't say snog."

"How gallant of you, Black!" Lily heard someone say as she walked back to her place. Robbie laughed at everyone, and then just shrugged and said, "Moving on, people! Okay, Prewett twin, which one are you?"

The twin laughed. "Fabian," he replied.

"Yep, you're turn," said Ronan and picked out another bit of parchment from the bowl. And the game went on.

 _Ugh, that Black's always flirting and kissing every girl he meets. He didn't kiss me only because of that Potter! They're so arrogant! So bothersome. Who are they to decide anything?!  
_ She sat there and fumed.

"I'm sorry," said James in a low voice to Sirius, as he sat down.

"For what, mate?!" asked Sirius, perplexed.

"For making you feel like I suspected-"

"James! I knew you were joking."

"Yeah, well I wouldn't have minded if you _had_ kissed her."

"I know that," said Sirius.

"But she would've. She hates us!" said James, and they both laughed again.

When it was her turn again, Lily's task was to divulge the most outrageous sexually themed story she had ever heard. She had an excellent one about a family friend, involving some large marbles.  
"As you know, they're muggles, so they don't have _Accio_. They ended up having to use a spoon…" she finished to everyone laughing hard around her. She was laughing too, surprised at herself for even telling the story. James and Sirius were very impressed, but Peter was a bit uncomfortable. And Alice was quite offended and kept glaring at Lily angrily, which she ignored. She knew Alice didn't like talking about sex, but Lily didn't think it was a problem.  
 _I mean, it's only a natural thing that people do as they age._

After a while, Sirius got up and announced dramatically to everyone that he was going to bed.  
" _Black-out,"_ he said, laughing at his own pun and walked toward the stairs that lead to the dormitories.

Before deciding what she wanted to do, Lily found herself getting up and following him. He was at the foot of the stairs now. "I know why you didn't kiss me!" she whispered angrily. Sirius stopped, but he didn't turn around. "I'm not his property, you know!"

He turned around slowly, his face blank. "No Evans, you're not. You're a person with feelings," he told her. Lily blinked.  
"I was going to, you know. It's just a game, but you-" He seemed to be struggling to find words. He looked around at the floor and his eyes fell on a discarded sweet wrapper.  
"No one… should be forced to do what they don't want to," he said darkly, not really looking at the wrapper.

Lily was really surprised to hear this. Now he was gazing intently at her, waiting for her response, but she didn't know what to say. In the end she just said, "Well, you're right I guess. Goodnight then."

"Goodnight Evans!" he said with the roguish grin back on his face, "Maybe I'll have a sweet dream tonight. Involving scenes from your story," and chuckled and winked at her.

She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Ah, there it is. Order has been restored."

Sirius chuckled and turned around and ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time.

Lily just stood there, puzzled. _Maybe he had multiple personalities. Yep, that's got to be it.  
_ She looked around and spotted Marlene at a table a short distance away, reading a book on Hinkypunks. Marlene was smiling to herself, and she knew she had heard their conversation. She walked up to her table and sat down next to her. "That was _so_ unexpected!" Lily said to her. Marlene smiled but didn't look up from her book.  
"Right?" Lily asked her, looking at her curiously.

Marlene finally looked up and smiled again. "It's really not. Sirius has always been… what you would call a gentleman. I've known him since we were kids, and his parents are big on chivalry and every other old-fashioned manners," she said matter-of-factly.

"But he's always flirting with anyone he meets! What would you call that?" asked Lily. She wasn't ready to believe Marlene yet, but her curiosity took over.

"Sirius only flirts with them because he knows they're okay with it. They throw themselves at him you know. Because he's so good-looking," she said and grinned. Then, she went back to her book.

"Hmm. Okay, I think I'll go to bed now," she said, and Marlene nodded to her without looking up. Lily climbed the stairs, still deep in thought. _Is this true? Are Potter and Black actually good people? Am I always this blind to other people's goodness because I'm prejudiced against them?_

The stairs to the dormitories were big and wide, and then they widened further into a sort of landing which had doors on either side, the boys' and girls' side respectively, behind which, further stairs could be found leading to the upper floors which housed the dorms. As she reached the landing, she saw Sirius sitting cross legged at the balustrade, looking over the Common room. He didn't even seem to realise she was there. She followed his line of sight and spotted Remus with Dorcas and a few others. _What is he doing now? He is so weird._  
Then, deciding it was none of her business, she went up to bed.

Sirius _had_ been watching Remus. Observing his every movement. Remus was leaning back on a couch opposite to Dorcas, his long legs crossed at the ankles and his hands in his pockets. He was listening to Anthony Jordan explain something enthusiastically. Then, Jordan handed him a butterbeer. He reached over to accept it and took a sip. Dorcas was now on the floor in front of him. She seemed to be wrapping her Christmas presents the muggle way. Remus was now was sitting at the edge of his couch, resting his elbows on his knees as he gave her suggestions on how to wrap it differently. At one point, when he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and Sirius felt a jolt in his heart.  
In the end, he slid down the couch to sit next to her and took the present for her, and showed her a different fold. Sirius saw Jordan and one of Dorcas' other friends exchange a smirk, and mouth something to each other.  
 _Are Dorcas and Remus really a couple? He's still going to be my best friend... I should be happy for him, right? Ugh, what kind of person am I, really? The kind who is jealous of their friend's happiness? Probably. Cos I'm a damn Black. We're all dark and twisted in our own ways..._


	9. Chocolate Cauldrons

It was New Year's Day at Hogwarts, and James and Sirius were bored out of their minds. They'd done everything there was to be done at Christmas. They'd opened presents, lit some firecrackers, pranked Filch as usual - by pouring sugar in his file cabinets and attracting a million ants, replaced all the toilet paper in the toilets in the Dungeons with fake toilet paper, had a snowball fight, put an 'Out of Order' sign on the Staff room door (which was charmed so it could only be removed at midnight) and ignored the twin gargoyles as they insulted them, charmed some suits of armour around the school to whisper 'I know your secret,' and other threatening things as people walked by, ate as much of the delicious food as they could, stuck Slughorn's face on the faces of family members in photo frames in Frank's and Pratap Patil's room, and even sent Professor Dumbledore a Christmas present and a New Year's card. But still, it didn't feel completely fulfilling.  
When Peter had told them that he'd be going home for the holidays, Sirius thought he'd be spending Christmas alone at Hogwarts. But James had decided to stay, and so had Remus. Sirius knew James' parents had written to him, asking him to come home for their annual New Year's Eve Ball, but he ended up not going, and he knew it was to keep him company, and he was extremely grateful. Because Sirius did _not_ want to go home for Christmas. Ever since Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin last year, he had completely stopped talking to Sirius, and thus, Grimmauld Place was a lonely place over Christmas.

As they walked back from the Great Hall after dinner, Sirius realised that he'd been feeling this way because he was missing Remus. As Remus had predicted, the full moon transformation on the twenty-ninth was pretty bad, and he was still in the Hospital wing, recovering. Madam Pomfrey hadn't allowed them to go see Remus that day.  
"He's asleep now, Mr. Potter. He's too weak for guests today, you had better come back tomorrow," she had said. When they had protested further, she had kicked them out of the Hospital Wing.

"I want to go see Moony!" James said suddenly.

"I have been thinking the exact same thing!" said Sirius, feeling glad.

"But we have to wait at least until midnight though. That's when she sleeps," said James, stopping at the bottom of the staircase.

"What should we do till then?"

"Hey! I have the perfect idea! Why don't we go to Honeydukes and pick up some chocolate?" said James excitedly.

"Perfect! Let's go and get the Map!"

And they ran all the way back to Gryffindor Tower and picked up the cloak and the Map and walked to the statue of the One-eyed Witch.

" _Dissendium_ ," whispered Sirius, tapping it's back with his wand, and the With's stone back slid away, revealing an entryway into the passage.

They entered it cautiously and the back of the statue slid back up again. James threw the cloak off, lit his wand and grinned. Sirius grinned back and they started walking down the passage towards Hogsmeade.

"So which kind of chocolate do you think is his favourite?" asked James.

"He likes everything. I've never seen him say no to any variety of chocolate ever," said Sirius, sniggering.

"True," said James.

They talked about the different kinds of chocolate all the way to Honeydukes.  
"In Paris, Reggie and I had these truffles filled with clotted cream," said Sirius happily, and James nodded in approval. That summer trip to France before Regulus had started Hogwarts contained some of Sirius' best memories with his brother. Mostly because his parents had been too busy shopping or attending parties, and they had left him and Regulus under the care of their Uncle Alphard, who was the coolest ever. Uncle Alfie had taken them everywhere, museums where they learnt about history and art history, cafes and restaurants where they feasted on the finest of French cuisine, and even to some muggle places of shopping, just to teach them what their lifestyle was like (they had been sworn to secrecy about that particular day trip).  
 _Why doesn't he speak to me anymore?_

"Hey, are you alright?" asked James.

"Yeah, yeah," said Sirius, giving him a smile.

"Were you thinking about Baby Black?"

"Yeah…" said Sirius. He tried not to look too sad, but somehow it felt okay to show his true feelings in front of James. Because James was that kind of person. He was so accepting and chill. No matter how weird you thought you sounded, James would never think so.

"My dad had a brother too," said James.

"Yeah I know, Charlus Potter, who married my great-aunt Dorea Black," said Sirius.

"What!" exclaimed James.

"What?" asked Sirius.

"Aunt Dorea was a _Black_?" asked James.

"Why are you saying 'Black' in that way?" asked Sirius, nettled.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," said James quickly. "Only that, if she was a Black, then we're really really distant cousins, aren't we?"

"Well, not related by blood," said Sirius.

"Yeah. But, it's a nice thought, though," said James cheerfully.

Sirius grinned at him. He realised that James' need to connect with everyone stemmed from him being an only child.  
 _Poor James. Whether or not we speak now, it doesn't negate all the good times Reggie and I had when we were kids, even if they were rare._  
"Er, why did you mention your uncle?" asked Sirius.

"Oh yeah, dad and uncle went to Paris one time when they were kids too," began James, and he told him a hilarious story of how they had pranked the French deputy Minister for Magic at a Christmas Ball, by placing a frosty cupcake on his seat. Sirius laughed for _fifteen_ minutes.

When they reached the trapdoor leading up the the shop, they listened cautiously for a sound of movement or voices. But none came, so they opened it and slowly slipped into the basement of the shop.  
They looked around, there were literally a dozen kind of chocolate bars alone. Which ones should they take?  
They slowly chose some, and were just about to leave, when James remembered that he had brought money. He placed a few galleons behind a big box.  
"Some Christmas cheer!" he said and smiled.

Sirius added his own money to the pile. Then, he read the label on the box and gasped. "James!"

"What's in the box?" asked James keenly.

But Sirius didn't answer, instead he opened the box and took out a smaller box from inside it.

"Chocolate cauldrons are back?" asked James.

"Not just any kind, my friend, these have firewhiskey in them!"

"Let's take them too!"

"You bet your arse I'm taking them!" he exclaimed and picked up a box. "We're all set, let's go!"

They dropped through the trapdoor into the passageway, carefully shut it, and started walking back.  
When they reached the other end of the passageway, James said, "Let's take a break," and they both sat down on the floor, leaning on the earthen slide.

Sirius grinned. "I have a plan for a prank," he said.

"Listening," said James.

"I found a charm that makes things slither and wriggle around like worms," he said. "I tried it on Peter's jelly worms yesterday and it was really funny."

"We should do it when they make spaghetti!" exclaimed James.

"Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. But modify the charm so it has a trigger, like it starts wriggling only when it touches the gold-plated dinner plates, or something like that," said Sirius.

"Perfect!"

"Do you want to try the Cauldrons?" asked Sirius, grinning mischievously.

"Yes! Open it!"

Sirius took a bite from one and coughed as the firewhiskey burned his throat. "Merlin's pants, these are intense," he said.

"Yes, but strangely addictive," said James, and they slowly wound up finishing the whole box of chocolate cauldrons.

Sirius chuckled, and said, "Let's go visit Moony now," and tried to stand but couldn't.

James got to his feet and pulled him up, and they crept out of the statue, giggling, and started walking towards the Hospital wing. Halfway there, they realised. "We are drunk!" said James, shaking with laughter.

"How dare you. A Black never gets drunk! I am only a little tipsy!" said Sirius, before dissolving into laughter himself.

The shushed each other drunkenly, and tottered along towards the Hospital Wing again, clutching each other's shoulders to avoid falling. They'd just stumbled to the door of the Hospital wing, when James said, "Bollocks! We've forgotten the rest of the chocolate in the one-eyed witch passage!" and burst out laughing again. He had only one box of assorted chocolate in his hands.

"We're a pair of idiots!" said Sirius. "There's no time now, let's go in."

They opened the door silently, or they thought they were being silent, when in reality, they just fell on the door, fumbled with the handle noisily and finally managed to open it. They walked in, still giggling, and looked around.

Remus was wide awake. He sat up, looking at the pair of them incredulously. "What are you guys doing here?" he asked them. They shushed him loudly.

"I'm a king of the Orient!" James announced, dramatically holding up the box of chocolates. "Bearing gifts, I've traversed afar, following yonder star," he added, pointing at Sirius, who gave him a small bow at 'yonder star'. Remus laughed at the pun. But then, James started singing horribly out-of-tune and made Remus regret the day he taught the two Purebloods, muggle Christmas carols.  
"Dark Chocolate is mine,  
Its bitter taste breathes,  
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying,  
Sealed in the stone cold tomb!"

After he finished singing, Sirius clapped for him.

"That was traumatic," Remus told him.

"But we forgot the rest of the chocolate in the passageway!" Sirius said, ignoring Remus. He and James laughed stupidly, James holding his side.

Then James threw the box to Remus, a little harder than he intended to.

"Are you drunk?!" asked Remus loudly, quickly catching the box before it hit his face.

They shushed him again and walked over to his bed. "Do you want us to get into trouble with Madam Pomfrey?" asked James.

"She isn't here right now," said Remus, opening the box eagerly.

"Good," said Sirius, and kissed him on his temple. Remus smiled at him and bit into a chocolate. It immediately melted into his mouth and the sweet taste of the milk chocolate was extremely satisfying.

"Why are you sitting? You should lie down!" James ordered Remus.

"Um Okay," said Remus, lying down. But then James lay down directly on top of him, tittering drunkenly.

"Ow, careful with my elbow, James, it hurts!" said Remus, covering his elbow gingerly with his other hand. Sirius sat down on the floor next to Remus's bed, his face near the pillow.

"Oh no! Moony! I'm sorry! Does it hurt still?" asked James, massaging the elbow.

"There's no need for that, I'm fine!" said Remus, smiling at James.

"Okay then," said James, resting his head on Remus' chest.

"We're sorry we forgot the rest in the passageway," repeated Sirius.

"Yes, that's alright," said Remus patiently, although he was thrilled at the thought of more chocolate.

"But we didn't nick them, this time, Moony. We paid in galleons!" said James.

"I know," said Remus.

"But how do you know? Oh my God, did Dumbledore find out? Is that why Madam Pomfrey isn't here? Is this an ambush?!" asked Sirius, looking around anxiously.

"What? No! She's probably just gone down for dinner. She might be back soon, so you two should leave now," he suggested, trying not to laugh at him.

"Oh," said Sirius, looking sheepish. "The alcohol has rendered me a dullard, Remus."

"Right," said Remus, chuckling at him. "I said I know, because I guessed you wouldn't steal sweets on _New Year's day_."

James snorted and looked up at Remus. "Moony, we even forgot the cloak and the Map down there!" he said, and then he and Sirius laughed again.

Then he got up onto his knees and bent down until he was an inch from Remus's face, and said, "Moony..."

"What?" asked Remus, and James looked up.

"Is there any kind of chocolate that you hate?" Sirius asked Remus. He looked so genuinely concerned, that it made Remus chuckle.

"Sirius, you liar! You said you knew for sure Moony loves all chocolate!" said James crossly.

"It's true, I do love all chocolate!" said Remus. He smiled at them and popped another chocolate into his mouth.

James lay his head on Remus' chest again. "I'm just going to rest my eyes…" he muttered.

"No James, you should go back to the Tower! You'll get into trouble!" said Remus, now wriggling underneath James. But his left hand was stuck.

"Good," said Sirius, bending low over Remus' face again.

"Hello, Star of Wonder," said Remus, smiling.

"I am wonderful, I know, Moony," said Sirius. "But, I'm not the North Star, though. I'm the Dog-star," he said and grinned. Remus chuckled at him. "Did you know the Dog-star is the brightest star in the night sky?"

"I did know that, Sirius," said Remus. "You showed it to us last year in Astronomy."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not here to talk about stars, Moony," he said, putting his hand on Remus' forehead. "I'm here to tell you my views on your love for chocolate."

Remus made a face. _Another lecture?_

"Your obsession with chocolate is quite unhealthy," said Sirius, and Remus pouted and put the box on the bedside table.  
"You're _always_ eating chocolate," Sirius continued. "You see, I already _knew_ you loved all kinds of chocolate."

Remus smiled.

"Did you know how often your breath smells like chocolate?" Sirius asked.

Remus chuckled. "Er, how often?" he asked.

"Always. Everyday, in fact," said Sirius.

"But I really love it, Sirius," said Remus.

"I know, I really love it too," said Sirius, and then he grinned.

"Really?" asked Remus. He'd never seen Sirius or anyone enjoy eating chocolate as much as he did.

"Yeah, I really love it when your breath smells like chocolate," said Sirius, swaying a bit, and Remus' heart skipped a beat.

" _What!_ "

They could hear James snoring now. Sirius giggled as his fingers lightly brushed Remus' jawline, cheeks and came to rest at his temple.  
"I never noticed... your eyelashes are... _exquisite_ ," he whispered, touching Remus' eyelashes.

Remus couldn't speak. Never in his wildest dreams did Remus Lupin think someone, girl or boy, would ever compliment him in that manner. He had already accepted that such things weren't in his quota for this lifetime.

Then Sirius blinked sleepily and sighed.

"Sirius-" said Remus, but then Sirius just closed his eyes and fell to the ground, asleep. " _Sirius!_ " he said again, and struggled to get out from underneath James, but it was impossible. He was properly stuck.  
 _What just happened? Was that a prank? No, he's drunk. But Sirius does flirt with everybody. Yeah. Maybe Sirius just admires my eyelashes, and that's that. He probably wouldn't even remember this tomorrow. Let's not overthink.  
_ But he couldn't sleep if he wanted to, because James was getting really heavy, and his thighs were starting to become numb. Usually, he would use his werewolf strength to push him off, but post-moon, he was feeling quite weak.

Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey came back up from dinner after a while, accompanied by Professor McGonagall. "What is going on here? I thought I told them, no visiting till tomorrow?" she said, but she didn't seem angry. Instead, she was close to laughing. Remus was confused.

"Have they just fallen asleep like that?" asked Professor McGonagall, and they both started chuckling.

"Yes, they just fell asleep a little while ago, I tried to move them, but I'm actually stuck. Do you think you could-" he said.

"Such troublemakers, the pair of them!" said Professor McGonagall forcefully.

Madam Pomfrey took out her wand and magicked both Sirius and James onto the two beds on either side to him.

"Thank you!" said Remus, relaxing.

"Go to sleep now!" she said, in what she thought was a stern voice, but then she and Professor McGonagall looked at each other and started laughing again. Then they walked away towards her inner chamber and shut the door.

 _Perfect, those two were drunk as well_.


	10. A Small Pea

Sirius felt someone whisper his name gently near his ear. He opened his eyes and was shocked to see Madam Pomfrey. He sat up so quickly that his head hurt. He groaned, clutching his head.

"Hmm, that is what happens when underage wizards drink alcohol!" she told him sternly.

James and Remus opened their eyes. "Oh Godric, where am I?" said James, looking up at the ceiling. He sounded scared.

Remus and Sirius sniggered.

"You are in the Hospital wing, Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey said, walking over to him.

"What happened?" James asked her, sitting up, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"What happened, is that I found you last night, fast asleep _on_ _top_ of my patient here!" she told him angrily. James was shocked. Sirius silently laughed at him.

"And Mr. Black, _you_ I found passed out on the floor next to the bed. Even more disgraceful!" she said, glaring at Sirius, who stopped laughing immediately and hung his head in shame.

"Drinking of alcohol is not permitted for underage wizards, I thought you knew this?" she asked them both.

"We're sorry Ma'am. We received these chocolates as a Christmas present and didn't realise…" said Sirius, lying with ease.

"Yes, we're really sorry! It won't happen again!" said James sincerely.

"I hope not! Well, as you didn't know what was inside them, I suppose you don't deserve detention. I'll let this slide, but just this once, alright?" she said, her expression softening a little.

They exchanged joyful looks and nodded fervently at her, and she seemed satisfied. She looked at Remus, and said, "You're free to go too, Mr. Lupin."

"Seriously?!" asked Remus.

"Of course, I never joke about these things, as you very well know," she said, and walked back to her chamber.

"Amazing! Thank you so much!" said Remus, scrambling out of bed, grinning at the others. "Breakfast?" he asked them.

"Let's go quickly!" said James, jumping up.

But Sirius' head seemed heavy and painful. He groaned, and slowly stood up, clutching his head.

"You're hungover," said James chuckling. "I feel completely fine, though."

"I hate you!" said Sirius sulkily.

"Oh, wait, we haven't brushed," said Remus.

"That's too far away, let's just skip for today," said James.

"Disgusting, James, don't come near me," said Sirius. James grinned triumphantly and walked over to Sirius and exhaled heavily through his mouth at Sirius' face.

"Ugh, get away!" squealed Sirius, pushing James away, who laughed loudly. "That stench is poisonous, James!"

Remus laughed.

"I'm serious, it can kill someone," said Sirius.

"Didn't I tell you three to leave? Madam Pomfrey was back.

So, the three of them went back to their dormitory to brush, with Remus lovingly holding the box of chocolates to his chest. He smiled as he remembered what Sirius had said last night.

"So, er... What exactly happened last night?"asked Sirius, as he brushed.

Remus blinked. Sirius didn't remember anything. _Excellent._ "Get a move on, I'm hungry," he said impatiently and the others quickly followed him without a word.

There was the usual breakfast, but with additional pies and sweets from the night before. "Excellent, I loved this pie yesterday!" said Sirius, happily biting into a slice.

"So, you remember the pie?" asked James, chuckling.

"Of course, I remember that! I remember going to Honeydukes and back, but after that it's all a blank!" said Sirius, looking at both of them.

"Well, we ate all of those chocolate cauldrons. Remember that?" asked James.

"I remember eating them, yes!"

"Then we went to the Hospital wing,"

"We did?"

"But even I'm not sure what happened after that. Remus?" James looked inquiringly at Remus.

"You came to visit me. You told me that you'd brought me chocolate from Honeydukes but you had one box with you, and then you said you'd forgotten the rest in the passageway," Remus informed them.

"Shit. Yes, I remember now. And I climbed on top of you and hurt your elbow, didn't I! How does it feel today?" James asked.

"It's fine now," replied Remus, smiling slightly.

"I just remember that vaguely. What was I doing, Moony?" Sirius asked him.

"You were-" began Remus, but then Sirius blushed and looked down at his plate. Remus knew he remembered everything now. He tried not to smile.

"Excuse me?" said James. "Can someone tell me what's going on?"

Sirius looked up at Remus, "I uh…" he began, but Remus couldn't help grinning, and then Sirius couldn't say anything. He was confused.

"Hello?! Still waiting!" said James impatiently.

"Sirius told me I have nice eyebrows," Remus said, lying on purpose.

"Lashes. I said your eyelashes were... nice," said Sirius, blushing again. Remus smiled at him, they both were remembering the word Sirius had used, 'exquisite'.

James asked, "What about mine? Do you like them?" turning to Sirius, pointing to his face.

Sirius looked at James' hazel ones, but he could only think of the murky olive greens he had looked into so closely last night. Ones that reminded him of wild jungles.  
"Yes, they're very nice too," he told James, turning back to his pie, which didn't seem that interesting anymore.

"What, that's it? Describe them!" said James.

Sirius sighed. "Fine." He turned to look at James' eyes again. "Well, they're hazel, but in the sunlight I can see some shades of blue and turquoise in them. And even though your lashes are short, they curve upwards, which makes your eyes look quite attractive," he told him, matter-of-factly.

James and Remus grinned at each other. "That was quite the description!" said James.

"Poetic," said Remus, bending forwards to look into James' eyes. "Hmm, he's right!"

"I know I am. I _am_ an expert!" said Sirius, and they all laughed.

Remus grinned at James. _Well, James has successfully diffused the tension, but I had quite liked to watch Sirius blush like that... he seemed vulnerable._

Then James and Remus started talking about eye colours of other magical creatures, but Sirius didn't take a word in. He unconsciously watched Remus' lips move elegantly as they formed words in his partly-Welsh accent... and eat a bite of food off his fork... and sip orange juice from a goblet. Then he realised what he was doing, and quickly looked down at his eggs. He closed his eyes to calm himself down.

"What happened?" he heard Remus ask.

Sirius opened his eyes.

"Is it your head? Does it still hurt?" asked James, looking at him closely.

"A little," said Sirius. This was true, his head still felt heavy. "I think I might actually prefer wine next time. No more firewhiskey cauldrons for me!" he said, touching his forehead.

"Why don't you get some rest? We can go back to the dorm, and we'll wake you up when it's time for lunch?" said James.

"Okay let's go," said Sirius, standing up.

They trooped back to their room, and Sirius lay down on his bed, with an 'ooffff."

"Mum gave me this balm for headaches, do you want to try it?" Remus asked him, holding up a small glass container. "It's a muggle one."

"Okay," he said, and Remus tossed it at him. He caught it with his left hand and opened its cap and looked inside. It smelled of eucalyptus and camphor. "How am I supposed to use this?"

"Well, take a little amount. Like the size of a small pea," said Remus.

" _A small pea_?"

"Oh, just show him, Moony," said James.

"Okay," said Remus, walking over to Sirius and sitting on the edge of his bed. "This much," he said, taking out a small amount with his finger and massaging it onto Sirius' forehead.

Sirius couldn't stop staring at him. His heart rate quickened.

"Close your eyes," said Remus, and he shut his eyes quickly.

 _How does Moony pretend nothing similar happened last night? I never know what he is thinking._

"Where does it hurt?" asked Remus.

 _Inside my heart, Moony._ And Sirius finally realised. _Crap. I like him!_ "All over my head," he replied so softly that Remus barely heard it.

"Well, this will tingle a tiny bit, but it's supposed to help. Just be careful not to get _any_ of it into your eyes, because they will burn terribly. I speak from experience," said Remus, shuddering. Sirius heard James laugh.

"Sure," he said, with his eyes still closed.

Remus went back to his own bed and watched Sirius for a while. Then he remembered something Sirius had said a few weeks ago-'Just because I think someone is nice to look at, doesn't mean I like them'. _Yeah, it was nothing more than a compliment.  
_ Then wondered how he would feel if Sirius actually liked him. _Let's not go there, Remus!_ That was a dangerous and uncertain path, and Remus already had a lot of uncertainty in his life, he didn't think he could handle more.

"Do you want to go get the stuff back from the passageway?" asked James after a few minutes.

"Yes, let's go!" said Remus hurriedly, glad for the distraction, and they both walked out the door.

Sirius lay there on his bed, thinking about how he loved Remus' intriguing nonchalant manner and expert opinions. He remembered his cousin Andromeda telling him about her fiancé Teddy, and this was way before she had been disowned.  
"Love is a beautiful punishment, Sirius," she had said to him. Eight-year-old Sirius hadn't understood anything at all, he'd in fact thought that was the silliest thing he'd ever heard. As most seven-year-olds do. But now, those words suddenly seemed to make sense. If that made any sense. But before he could even begin to contemplate the intricacies of the human condition that was romantic love, or what to do about it, he was snoring.

"Anything on your mind?" James asked Remus as they walked up a corridor.

"No... why?" asked Remus.

"Well you look thoughtful," said James, glancing at him.

"Nothing, really. Just thinking about last night. Did you know, when Professors McGonagall and Pomfrey found you, they started giggling like a pair of first years. It was hilarious!"

"What!" said James, amazed.

"Yeah, they were a little tipsy, perhaps," said Remus, grinning. "Although not as drunk as you two were."

"Wow! I can't believe we missed drunk McGonagall! And we were right there too!" said James, laughing.

"My grandmother always used to say that Christmas holidays bring out the side you don't often see in people," said Remus. "I guess that's certainly true."

James smiled at him, knowing he was talking about Sirius, and not about the teachers. "Yeah, who knew Sirius observed people's eyes that much?" he said.

"Well, he was always a little too observant," said Remus, grinning.

"Like in second year, when he observed you a little too closely and discovered your furry little problem!" said James and they both laughed.

"Personally, I never remember anyone's eye colour in that much detail. I don't think I've ever noticed what exact colour Sirius' or Peter's eyes actually are," he continued.

"What? You can't be serious! you've lived with them for four years!" Remus exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know they're blue and grey, Moony," said James, rolling his eyes. "But what shade of grey, though? Steel? Ice? Ash?" James prompted. He was sure Remus would know exactly.

"I reckon, more like a… a rain cloud," Remus replied, and James grinned, satisfied.

But that grin made Remus feel a little uneasy. He glanced at James nervously.

"Oh yeah," said James simply and nodded.

Remus thought James' voice sounded a bit too casual, like he was hiding something, and that thought made him feel even more uneasy. He tried to tell himself to stop being paranoid, but he continued obsessing over the whole thing in his mind. That was, until he stepped into the One-eyed Witch's passage and saw all the chocolate they had got for him.  
"So much chocolate!" he said, happily ripping open the nearest bar of chocolate.

"Wait, let's get all this back to the Common room-" James began, but Remus just sat down in the passageway and took a bite out of the bar.

"Mmmm… thank you!" he said, his mouth full of chocolate.

James laughed at him. "You know, we were going to give you this chocolate one at a time. Sirius suggested once a week," he said.

"Preposterous!" said Remus and James laughed again.

"Wow, you two sure ate a lot of chocolate cauldrons!" said Remus, looking around at the empty wrappers around him.

"Yeah, I think we just got a little carried away," said James, sitting down in front of him and opening a new box.

"As per usual," Remus replied, and James sniggered. "It's kind of frightening, sometimes, how the two of you feed off each other's stupidity and end up using your talents for insane pranks instead of homework."

James laughed. "Well, at least he says we are talented!" he announced to no one.


	11. Crumpled Parchments

The book Sirius was supposed to be banishing, somehow burst into flames, and part of his hair caught fire. "Aaargh!" he yelled, panicking.

" _Aguamenti!_ " James said quickly, pointing his wand at Sirius, but instead of a small controlled fountain of water, an irregular shower flowed out of it. It put out the fire, but drenched Sirius' head completely. Everyone laughed.

"Now now, people, Please focus!" said Professor Flitwick, and the class went back to banishing their objects again.

Sirius spit out some water and turned to James. "I guess I should be thanking you," he said from beneath his wet hair plastered across his face, and the other Marauders laughed at him.

Remus turned Sirius' face towards himself and brushed his hair back off his face and his fingers got tangled in his hair. He smiled as he removed his fingers and Sirius felt his heart flutter.

"It's only burned a bit, don't worry," Peter said, leaning across Remus to examine the singed lock of hair.

"Ah, nooo," said Sirius, trying to examine it too. "My lovely hair's ruined!" They chortled again.

"It's not that bad, we can barely notice it," said James, smiling.

"Wait till it's dry…" he mumbled sadly.

"You're right! Your life is now in shambles," Peter said dramatically.

"No one understands me," Sirius moaned, pushing the burned remains of the book off his desk.

James and Peter looked at each other, shaking their heads. Sirius was just being overly dramatic as usual.

"Gentlemen, less talking, more banishing!" said Professor Flitwick, walking up to them and handing Sirius a smaller book.

"Now, Mr. Potter, show me," he said.

"Oh no. Okay, _Depulso_ ," said James, and the kettle in front of him flew and landed on a table at the front of the class. It was almost perfect, then it tipped over and fell to the ground with a clang.

"That was good, a few more times should do it, Mr. Potter," said Professor Flitwick, smiling at James. Then he noticed James' pants. "Mr. Potter, you cannot wear ripped pants to school, this is the third day I've seen you wear these," he said, and James blushed. Peter and Remus chuckled. "Owl order some new ones. The next time I see these pants, it will be detention for you."

James nodded quickly. "I'll do that immediately, Sir!"

The professor nodded. "Now you, Mr. Black," he said, turning to Sirius.

" _Depulso_ ," said Sirius, and his book flew halfway across the room and then dropped like a rock onto Mary's head.

"Ow!" squeaked Mary and glowered at him.

"Sorry!" Sirius told her, but he wasn't sorry at all.

"Hmm," said Professor Flitwick, scratching his beard. "Maybe we should think about using cushions next time."

"Right," said Sirius dully.

"With more conviction, Mr. Black. Now, try again," said Professor Flitwick patiently, summoning the book back again and placing it on his table.

Sirius said the incantation again, but the book barely moved. He looked miserably up at his teacher. Remus put his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"Practise tonight, Mr. Black," said Professor Flitwick. Sirius nodded, and the professor walked away.

When the class was over, Flitwick asked Remus to stay back and help with organising the banished items scattered around the room.

"We'll be in the Great Hall," said Peter. Remus nodded at him, and they left.

Remus walked over to the table with all the banished items and picked the kettle up off the floor.

"Mr. Lupin, is everything alright with Mr. Black?" Professor Flitwick asked him.

Remus looked at him in surprise. "I'm not sure, sir," he said, and then remembered the letter. "He received a letter this morning, sir. I think it was from home..."  
Sirius had read it, crumpled it up and thrown it under the dining table. James had asked him what it was about, but Sirius said it was nothing. He hadn't seemed that upset, so no one had questioned him further.

"I see. Well, I hope you will help him with his homework tonight," said Professor Flitwick to Remus.

"Yes, of course, sir!" said Remus, jumping out from his reverie.

"Alright then, off you go, Mr. Lupin!"

"Thank you," said Remus, and left the classroom. On his way down to the Great Hall, he wondered if the letter was still where Sirius had left it. He reached the approximate place at the Gryffindor table where they had sat for breakfast in the morning, and asked the students sitting there if there was a crumpled piece of parchment under the table. Everyone nearby started searching.  
Peter waved him over, but he didn't respond. He got on all fours to look under the benches.

"What is he doing?" Sirius asked the other two.

"Maybe he dropped something earlier," said James.

They looked down the table and saw a first-year hand Remus two crumpled pieces of parchment. They saw him look at the two parchments and throw one away and focus on the second, and Sirius realised what Remus was doing. He got to his feet, panicking. "Remus, stop!" he shouted.

Remus looked up at him with a troubled expression started to back away.

"What is that?" asked Peter, but no one replied.

Sirius was on the opposite side of the table. So he pushed everything on the table out of his way and climbed across to Remus' side. A jug overbalanced and spilled juice along the table, seeping into the white tablecloth, and the students in the juice's path squawked in protest. One first year's plate was flooded with pumpkin juice.

Whoa, Sirius!" exclaimed James. He and Peter got to their feet.

Remus turned around and started sprinting toward the exit, clutching the letter.

"REMUS!" Sirius yelled and ran after him as fast as he could. Everyone in the Great Hall looked around as they ran out of the hall.

Remus ran out of the Great Hall and through the double doors leading to the dungeons and the Slytherin Common Room. He ran quickly along the corridor, down some old wooden stairs and entered a damp and musty classroom. It was empty, so he closed the door and started reading the letter.  
Sirius reached the Entrance Hall, saw the double doors to the dungeons still swinging and ran toward it. He opened the door and hurried along the corridor and turned a corner and came face to face with some of Regulus' friends.

"What are _you_ doing here? Are you so stupid that you've forgotten the way to the Great Hall?" said one of them, and they all laughed unkindly and walked away.

Sirius ignored them and reached a rickety staircase at the end of the corridor. He hesitated, then quickly went down the stairs.

Remus could _not_ believe what he was reading.

 _Sirius Orion Black!_

 _As much as it irks me to call you my son, because you are such a disgrace- rubbing shoulders with mudbloods and blood traitors alike, I can't ignore the fact that I've received yet another letter from your Head of House, complaining about your behaviour at school. What are you aiming to achieve by behaving like this? Neither Regulus nor any of your cousins have ever received such letters from school. In fact, I cannot think of a single person in our family who has degraded to your level before! You are disgusting._

 _Time and time again, your father and I have had to endure getting reminded of all your inadequacies and paucity of manners, or lack thereof._

 _Have you absolutely no regard for the respect that our family commands from the wizarding community? It is as if you're not even from this family. You're like a large unremovable stain, bent upon bringing shame and dishonour to me and the noble House of Black! I wish you were never born to me, you're complete filth! You just wait until you get yourself home, you'll find out exactly why it is that one mustn't break rules-_

Sirius burst into the room and snatched the letter from his hands. It tore into two pieces and Remus was left clutching a small piece.  
Sirius held up the larger piece, took out his wand and muttered, " _Incendio._ " The letter burst into flames and reduced to ash in a second. They both silently watched as the ash floated slowly to the ground.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he yelled at Remus. "You had no right to read that letter!"

Remus was too stunned from reading the contents of the letter that he couldn't say anything. He still couldn't believe someone could write such harsh words.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the Great Hall, Peter and James grabbed Sirius' bag and quickly made their way up the table, trying to look inconspicuous. But their eagle-eyed Head of House missed nothing.

" _Mister_ Potter!" Professor McGonagall called. She looked furious. " _What_ is going on? This is the Great Hall, not the Quidditch pitch!"

"I don't know what happened, Professor!" said James honestly.

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"Really, Professor, Sirius just- he just took off after Remus, we have no idea what happened!" said Peter.

Minerva considered them both, they looked pretty sincere.

"Minerva, may I have a word?" Professor Flitwick asked her, just arriving beside her.

"Oh, yes," she said to him, she saw him blink pointedly at her.  
She turned toward the two boys again. "Tell your friends that this sort of behaviour will not be tolerated again!" she said and waved them off.

They nodded fervently and walked out of the hall as fast as they could without running, but Sirius and Remus were nowhere to be found in the Entrance Hall. They tried to guess where they might have gone. Peter walked towards the main doors and looked out to the grounds, but he couldn't see them anywhere. He turned around and shook his head at James. Then the door to the dungeons opened and some Slytherins walked out.

"Hey Regulus, doesn't your brother know he's not in Slytherin?" said one of the boys, whose name Peter knew to be Prickle.

Regulus had barely eaten taken three bites of his dinner, when he'd heard his brother's voice. He'd looked over to the Gryffindor table at Sirius and then at the parchment in his friend's hand, and immediately understood what was going on. He knew it was a letter from their mother, because he too had received a letter, complaining about Sirius and urging him to keep away from him. _Mother can be so harsh.  
_ He'd completely forgotten about eating and had followed them out of the Hall.

James and Peter whipped around to see him standing at the entrance to the Great Hall. He looked at James and then back at the Slytherin boys.

"Maybe he's regretting now, since he's had to deal with so much muggle filth in Gryffindor!" said Rabastan Lestrange and they all laughed unpleasantly.

"Cork it, Lestrange!" James told them savagely.

One of the boys started saying something back at James but Regulus interrupted him. "Where is he?" he asked.

"Down the corridor," said Prickle, pointing to the door leading to the dungeons.

James and Peter looked at each other and then at Regulus. He didn't say anything, so they ran towards the double doors, opened it and ran up the corridor. Peter remembered coming down here just once before, when they were exploring. They ran down the wooden staircase and heard shouting. They glanced at each other and followed Sirius' voice.

"Why do you think you can do anything you want?!" he was yelling. "It's mine! My letter! M-I-N-E mine! Not yours, you don't have permission to read it- Oh, I can't believe you did that!"

"Sirius, I-"

James and Peter entered the classroom cautiously. Sirius and Remus were glaring at each other. They turned around to see who had come in, and then turned back to face at each other again.

" _I hate you,"_ Sirius told Remus venomously. "I hate you so much right now!"

Remus was shocked. He'd only tried to help, and he was getting hate instead. He modified his expression to a neutral one. "I don't care," he said simply and walked out of the classroom, with his heart pounding painfully.

Peter and James walked slowly up to Sirius after a few moments. He was still seething.

"Sirius-" Peter began, but Sirius cut him off.

"Is it so hard for you guys to respect my privacy?" he asked angrily, wheeling around at them. "If I say I don't want to tell you things about my family, why can't you just _let it go_?!"

They didn't know what to say.

"He just had to go and read the letter!" he yelled, kicking the desk.

They looked at each other with dawning comprehension. James thought about how far Remus had gone to read the letter.  
 _He had even searched under people's chairs..._ "That was going too far, you're right," he said to Sirius, placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Let's just go back to the Common room!" Sirius said, taking his bag from James. And the three of them walked back upstairs to the Entrance Hall.

They stepped into the Entrance Hall and Sirius spotted Regulus and came to a halt. Regulus wasn't sneering this time, he just stared at Sirius. Sirius knew that he must have guessed it was about the letter and he waited for him to say something. But Regulus didn't seem to know what to say, so Sirius just walked past him and climbed the stairs to the upper floors. The other two followed him. But when James looked down at Regulus, he was surprised to see him looking concernedly up at them.

As they neared the Arithmancy Wing, which was around halfway to their Common room, Sirius slowed down. He couldn't help thinking of the letter. James pulled the other two into a secret staircase behind a stone wall and made them sit down on the stairs. "Let's just stay here till you calm down," he told Sirius.

Sirius nodded. Then he started ranting about his parents, which went on for a long time, in which he unintentionally showed the two boys a few snippets of life in the Black household, and they had to pretend they weren't shocked.  
"Ugh," said Sirius, putting his face in his palms. "Then she said I was being 'brusque', and locked me in my room for two days." Then, he looked up just in time to see James and Peter exchange concerned looks and inwardly scolded himself for being so careless.


	12. Breadfruit

Remus was too angry to think clearly. His head was buzzing with sentences from the letter and the stuff Sirius had yelled at him. He kept walking without really noticing where he was going, but was unsurprised to find himself standing outside the library. He walked in and sat at a table, grabbed a random book and opened it. He thought of what Sirius' mother had written, the words she had used- ' _Irks me to call you my son...disgrace..._ '  
 _What kind of mother says that to her child?! The unhinged woman! That family's sole purpose of existing seems to be to give him pain._ _Poor Sirius. This is why he hadn't been able to concentrate on lessons the entire day. But what can I do about it?  
_ As he thought about it, his stomach rumbled and he realised he hadn't eaten yet. So he went back downstairs to the Great Hall. When he entered, people stared at him, but it seemed they were too afraid to ask him what had happened. As he ate, he felt so many eyes on him. He looked around at the others pointedly and everyone immediately went back to their own dinners. When he was done, he decided he would talk to Professor McGonagall and looked up at the staff table. She wasn't there, so he walked up to her office and knocked on her door.

"Come in," he heard her say, and walked in, shutting the door behind him.

"Mr. Lupin, take a seat," she said, but he didn't. He just looked at her, thinking what to say.

"I think that you shouldn't write to Sirius' parents anymore," he told her nervously, but still looking directly at her.

"And why do you think that you need to tell me this? You realise this is a matter of discipline?" she told him.

"Because they're all lunatics!" he said loudly. "All they do is come up with different ways to torture him-"

"Mr. Lupin, calm down!"

"I cannot be calm!" He took out the piece of the letter he had and slammed it on her desk.

She held it up and read it. ' _Sirius, as much as it irks me to call you my son, because you are such a-fact that I've received-'_

"This is part of the letter she sent him this morning! _This morning!_ And after reading it, he hasn't been able concentrate on any of his lessons!" he said vehemently.

"I am aware of the situation, Professor Flitwick has informed me-"

"If you want to punish him, give him more detentions. Or punish the rest of us for not keeping him in check. But please don't write to them…" he begged her.

"This is school policy. Parents must be kept informed of their children's conduct at school," she said sternly.

"THEN CHANGE THE POLICY!" he yelled.

"Mr. Lupin!" she said, standing up.

"Change it in regard to abusive parents!" he said, lowering his voice significantly and sitting down in the chair. "You wouldn't be talking like this if you'd read that letter! She said she wished he had _never been born_! Which parent -" he said, and he suddenly stopped himself as he remembered something else. He put his face in his palms. _Oh no._

Minerva was horrified. She sat down in her chair. _Wishing he had never been born?! Dear Godric, this is far worse than I thought._ "Where is the rest of the letter?" she asked him, more gently this time.

He glanced up at her and then looked away bitterly. "He burnt it." he said quietly.

"Has he received such letters before?"

"He gets letters sometimes," he told her, and from his pained expression, she gathered that this happened often. "He never tells us what's in them."

They both sat silently for some time, each thinking hard. Finally, he looked up at her again and said, "I am sorry I slammed that piece so hard on your desk. I didn't mean to."

She sighed and stood up. She moved around her desk and sat on its edge in front of him, and put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand what you are trying to tell me, Mr. Lupin, and while I can't promise anything right away, I will most definitely keep it in mind," she told him.

"Please don't say anything to him. He already hates me for reading the letter, if he found out I've told you…" he said worriedly.

"I won't. And I am glad you told me. Us teachers are mostly in the dark when it comes to sensitive matters like this. If we knew about them, we would be better equipped to help the students. And you've definitely done the right thing by coming to me," she said with a small smile.

"Thank you Professor," he said, standing up.

She nodded thoughtfully, then she stopped him again. "Wait."

His hand paused as it reached for the doorknob and he looked up.

"Are _you_ okay, Mr. Lupin?" she asked.

Remus's brow furrowed. "I'm fine, professor. You don't have to worry about me," he assured her, but he knew she wasn't convinced.

"If not me, talk to someone, Mr. Lupin. It's not healthy to keep everything inside. Mr. Potter, perhaps?" she suggested.

"I'm pretty sure none of them want anything to do with me right now, professor... Except maybe to turn my nose into a breadfruit or something," he joked, grinning a little.

Her expression softened a super-tiny bit.

"But I know what you mean, yeah. I did speak to them," he added more seriously, and opened the door and hurried out before she could ask him anything else.

Minerva huffed and folded her arms thoughtfully. _Lupin would make a good Prefect, he definitely has the common sense for it. Not to mention he'll be able to keep those Marauding friends of his under control! It would also keep his mind off his own issues. And he would get along with Ms. Evans too, they've somehow become friends...  
_ She waved her wand and her quill began writing a reminder for herself. She would talk to Albus about this.

As he walked back to the Common room, Remus' mind thought back to one particular argument that had occurred almost five years ago.

 _...just so tired of it." Remus' post-transformation brain was a little slow on the uptake. Especially since the wolf had injured its head last night, which meant Remus' tiny head was bandaged thickly._ Who is that?  
" _I'm sorry? Did you just say you're tired of all this?!" A woman asked, rather indignantly, and he immediately recognised both voices._ Mum and dad. _Remus tried to open his eyes, but they wouldn't budge.  
_ " _What? No, Hope, that's not what I meant-"  
_ " _He's your son!"  
_ _Remus tensed as he heard the words come out of his mother's mouth, and his abdomen throbbed painfully.  
_ " _Really! I didn't mean it like that, I swear, Hope!" Lyall said. They weren't bothering to keep their voices down, thinking he was still unconscious.  
_ " _What did you mean, then?!" Hope demanded._ _There was a pause._ " _Oh, Lyall," Hope said, her voice tender.  
_ " _I'm tired of watching him go through this every month! I just-" Lyall sighed.  
_ " _I know, me too…"  
_ " _Sometimes, I catch myself wishing he wasn't_ _born-"_ _Remus's heart skipped a beat.  
_ " _Lyall!"  
_ " _Born to us, you know! Maybe then, he wouldn't have had to suffer like this!" Lyall said. There was a desperation in his father's voice which Remus had never heard before.  
_ " _How can you say that! I can't imagine Remus not being my son!" Hope said, lowering her voice.  
_ " _That's not what I meant and you know it!" Lyall said exasperatedly and Remus heard footsteps.  
_ " _Still, I mean you'll never hear such things coming out of my mouth!" Hope whispered.  
_ " _Just be thankful you're not in my position, then!"  
_ _And that was the last thing Remus had heard before his bedroom door was shut with a snap. He_ _didn't know where he'd gotten the energy, but his eyes snapped open and flicked towards his recently closed bedroom door in horror._

Nine year old Remus didn't really get what his father had actually meant, all he knew was what he'd heard. The next few months had been a nightmare, the hopelessness he'd felt in his heart was much much worse than the pain from the transformations or the injuries. But as he grew older, he did understand. He knew how his parents stressed themselves out, watching him hurt himself, month after month. Even after he'd found out how prejudiced his father had been/ still is, about werewolves, Remus still knew that his father loved him, somewhere deep down. But he still remembered clearly, how he'd felt at the time. The reality in which a parent wished their child hadn't been born was unthinkable.  
 _But for Sirius Black, it's not some misunderstanding. It's actually happening.  
_ Remus stepped through the Portrait hole and looked around. _They're not here.  
_ He sat down at an empty table, took out his homework and sighed. He was in no mood to do homework, which didn't happen, like ever. He just stared at his book.

After a while, he looked up to see the other three Marauders step through the Portrait hole. They walked past him slowly, all the while staring at him, Sirius glowering, and went up to their dorm. He sighed again. _He has every right to be mad. And obviously, James would side with him… and Peter would just do whatever James does...  
_ He couldn't face them yet, so he started on his homework and didn't go up to the dorm till late in the night. The other three were asleep when he opened the door and walked in. He got into bed and sighed. He felt lonely. It was a lot like how he used to feel before he came to Hogwarts.

The next morning, he awoke before anyone else, got ready and left for breakfast. In classes, he sat alone, away from the other Marauders. Even the teachers noticed. Everyone commented about how the Marauders had split up. He was actually getting fed up of near-strangers walking up to him to ask him what James and Sirius had done to make him angry at them.

"You seem really miserable," Lily said to him, when they met up during lunch to finish Remus' Potions essay.

"I _am_ miserable," he replied, turning to look at her.

"Can I ask what happened?"

"Sirius and I had a huge fight, and now he's not talking to me. The others aren't either. But don't ask me what it's about, because it isn't my secret to tell."

"Oh. Alright. You can sit with us if you like."

"Thanks, Lily."

That night, he walked up to Lily's table. Mary was telling Lily, Alice and Marlene something in a low conspiratorial voice and they were all listening avidly. Mary immediately stopped talking as he approached, and the four of them looked up at him. He already felt like he was intruding. So instead of asking them if he could join them, he thought he would ask Lily for her Arithmancy textbook. But then he realised he was holding his own textbook in his hands. "Um, have you worked out the problems?" he asked her.

"Yes, they were easy! They give an explanation on how to solve the fractals in the _magicae numero,_ actually," she replied.

"Oh, thanks!" he said, and walked away. He had actually finished the homework in class itself, but he hadn't known what else to say. _Sigh… library it is._ He stepped out of the Portrait hole and was halfway down the stairs, when he realised he needed a new bottle of ink. He sighed again and turned back.

"What's up with him?" said Alice, as they watched him walk away.

"Apparently him and Black have had a row," Lily replied.

"Yes, I asked Sirius about it, but he wouldn't tell me, so-" began Marlene.

"You asked Regulus," Mary said, smirking at her.

"Obviously. Well, he doesn't know about the fight, not that he cares anyway, but he did say it might have something to do with a letter he received from home?" said Marlene, looking inquiringly at Lily.

But it was Mary who answered. "Oh yeah, it was a letter!" she squealed excitedly. "So, yesterday right, I was in the Great Hall with Ronan, discussing _you-know-what_ , and Lupin was reading this letter. You'll never guess what happened! Black literally _climbed over_ the table to try and get it back!" she whispered, gesturing wildly. They all exclaimed.  
"But Lupin just sprinted out of the Hall with it, Black ran after him, but I don't think he caught up to him, Lupin can run _so_ fast!" she said.

"Is that so?" said Lily. "Curious."

"Hmmm. So Sirius is mad that Lupin read his letter?" said Marlene, turning around to look at her friend who was sitting at a table a few feet away with Peter and James. "He doesn't seem very happy, either." Lily, Alice and Mary looked over too.

"Well, at least the Common room is quiet," said Lily, and Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Um, why are they staring at us?" asked Peter, looking down at his book.

"Who?" asked James, and they looked around and spotted the girls.

"Bollocks!" said Lily, and the girls looked back at their books again. All except Marlene. She continued to stare at Sirius.

James cleared his throat, "Sirius," he said.

Sirius sighed exasperatedly and looked over. Marlene shook her head at him, as if berating him silently, and he got up and walked over to her.

"I play no part in this!" said Lily, anxiously hiding her head.

"Can I help you?" he asked Marlene, irked.

"You're a heartless bitch," she said, almost casually.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" he said angrily. The other girls stared up at him in surprise. "See, that's what he does. Now I'm the bad guy, aren't I?" he asked loudly.

"He didn't tell us anything if you must know," said Lily firmly.

"Look out!" said Alice, and they all looked around. Remus was standing a short distance away, looking at all of them with his mouth open.

Sirius huffed and immediately turned and stormed off towards the staircases. James and Peter hastily gathered up his things and ran after him.

Remus slowly walked up to the girls, his expression deadly.

"Remus, I didn't say anything!" said Lily.

"Now he's going to think I told you everything!" he said crossly.

"No, I told him you didn't tell me anything, I swear!" she said, standing up.

"It was me," said Marlene, and Remus looked at her.

"He's _my_ friend too, and I'll ask him whatever I want," she told him.

"Okay," he said drily and walked away.

"Jesus!" said Lily, sitting down again and putting her face in her book.

"It's okay, Lily. He's not angry at you now," said Alice, patting her shoulder.

Lily straightened up again. "Poor Remus," she said, pouting.

"Next time, let's not turn and stare at whomever we are talking about. It's obviously a dead giveaway?" said Mary, with a small smile, and they all burst out laughing.

Remus felt more alone than ever. As he entered the library again, he saw Regulus and his friends sitting at a table. Regulus looked up at him exactly the way Sirius had looked at him. It looked like the entire Black family were given lessons in how to sneer in the exact same way. He turned and walked back out of the library again and found an empty classroom. He sat down heavily in one of the chairs and sighed. _Sirius loathes me... I can't sleep in the dorm anymore. This classroom will be my bedroom from now on.  
_ He put his head on his arms and closed his eyes. Interestingly enough, sleep came easily.


	13. Golden Snidget

A bunch of Ravenclaw firsties were hurrying to breakfast. A young boy with glasses struggled to hold his books as he ran after his classmates."Wait for me!" he yelled, and Remus woke with a start at his shrill voice, and looked around the classroom. _What? Where am I?_  
Then he remembered last night's events and sighed to himself. But there was no time for moping right now, he needed to get ready for class. He grabbed his book bag and ran back to the Tower for a quick shower.  
This went on for three days. Remus would attend his classes, study in the library till curfew, and then go back to the empty classroom to sleep. He did not want to go back to the dorm, he did not want to make the others uncomfortable. When Peter woke up in the middle of the night one time because he felt thirsty, he noticed that Remus still hadn't come back. But he was too sleepy to think clearly, so he went back to bed. In the morning, he told the others.  
"Lads, I don't think Remus came back to the dorm last night."

"How do you know?" asked James.

"I woke up at around three am, and he wasn't there. He's still not back," Peter told them., nodding at Remus' bed which was made. James and Sirius looked at each other.

"I just assumed he was waking up really early and getting ready," said Sirius. _So he doesn't have to face me._

"At three am? That doesn't seem likely," said Peter.

"Yeah, I think Peter's right. I don't think he has been sleeping here since Monday actually," said James.

"Then where is he sleeping?" asked Sirius, and they just shrugged in response.

As they got ready to go down to breakfast, they heard the doorknob turn and looked around at it. Remus walked in, and without looking at any of them, he walked over to his trunk and opened it to look for his clothes. The other three exchanged glances, but no one asked him where he had been. They just left for breakfast.

Remus sat alone at mealtimes, never feeling like eating anything. But he didn't want the girls to pity him or ask him more questions, so he put on a brave face. The other Marauders weren't happy either. None of them suggested pranks or any ideas. It would be no fun planning a prank without Remus and his brilliant modifications, and warnings about what rules that were going to be broken. James suggested they use this time to freely discuss the animagus transformation procedure and try and progress further. So, that's what they did.

On Thursday, Remus was randomly paired with Peter for Care of Magical Creatures. " _I'm_ not angry with you," he told Remus as they drew a picture of a cute little bird called the Golden snidget. "But reading his letter… that was going too far, don't you think?"

"No, I don't think. You do realise that he hadn't been able to concentrate on any lessons that day because of it?" said Remus.

Peter stopped drawing and looked up at him. "What did the letter say?"

"Listen up, people," said Professor Kettleburn and they looked over at him. He grinned at all of them. "I want all of you sketches complete, labelled and submitted before you leave today." Peter squeaked and quickened his pace.

"You're joking, right, Pete?" Remus said. "He'd kill me for sure if I told you what was in the letter."

"Yeah, he would," said Peter, returning to the drawing, and Remus nodded distractedly as he double checked the labelling on his finished drawing. He knew Peter would go straight to James and tell him everything he had just said, and he didn't know if that made him happy or even sadder.

"Fun fact, the Golden snidget was used in Quidditch games before the Snitch was invented," said Kettleburn, observing their faces.

"What!" Remus exclaimed. Sirius and James looked over at him.

"Mr. Lupin?"

"That is not a fun fact, Sir," said Remus, and everyone in the class looked at him. "Do you mean to say they were kept caged it till the game began, then released for the Seekers, only to be caught again and caged?! That is Creature Cruelty!"

"In it's most accurate form, yes," said the professor, nodding at him. "You're right. It was one of the most ignorant things people used to do before proper Creature Cruelty Laws were in place."

"Didn't anyone protest?" asked Remus, looking down at the round, sweet little bird in the cage in front of him.

"Oh, quite a few people did. One Madam Modesty Rabnott is known to have summoned the snidget at a game and released it into the wild in protest," explained the professor. "It was only later in the 1300's that hunting or killing these beautiful birds became outlawed. A witch named... hmm what was her name?" Kettleburn scratched his head. "Elfrida Clagg, yes! that's the one. Elfrida Clagg stopped the use of snidgets in Quidditch, and so the Golden snitch was invented."

Remus smiled. "Well thank Merlin for Elfrida Clagg," he said, and the professor chuckled.

"I was wondering if anyone was going to say something about this, and you did, Mr. Lupin," said Kettleburn. "Creature Cruelty is not a trivial matter. Take ten points to Gryffindor."

"Nice!" said Peter. Frank gave him a thumbs-up and Remus smiled at them.

James glanced at Sirius, who was still staring at Remus. Remus' kindness and compassion were nice enough qualities, but this was what Sirius liked best about him - how he was unafraid of speaking up when he noticed that something was not right. And then Sirius realised how much he missed talking to him.

"I do have one doubt, though," said Peter, labelling his diagram and looking up at Remus. "Aren't we caging them as well?"

Remus nodded. "We are, you're right," he said. "But, these snidgets are temporarily caged and brought up here from the snidget sanctuary so that we can learn about them. After that, Professor Kettleburn has them sent back to the sanctuary as soon as possible, and they're released again."

"Oh, that's good," said Peter. "So, where is this sanctuary located?"

"Dolgellau, Wales," replied Remus.

Peter nodded and the two of them walked over to the professor to submit their sketches.

As Remus had predicted, Peter waited until Sirius left to take a shower, and told James what Remus had said about the letter, earlier that day.

"I guessed as much," said James, nodding seriously. "His parents must have been really mad at him about that prank we pulled on the sixth year Ancient Runes class."

"But he didn't seem upset at all that morning," said Peter.

"Yeah," said James. "I just thought it was something boring."

"You know, I always thought Sirius was a pretty private person in general," said Peter.

"Yeah, but I think there's a reason he's so private, I think he doesn't tell us anything cos he's... what? Embarrassed?" asked James.

"Or maybe he's afraid we might be concerned? You heard those punishments his mother doled out just for talking out of line, what if it was worse?" said Peter.

"Worse punishments, you mean? Like what?" asked James. James was so innocent because he had such loving parents, so the possibility of Sirius being abused by his own parents didn't even reach his imagination.

"Like... I don't know-" began Peter, but he didn't get to finish his sentence, because Sirius had just walked out of the bathroom. But even if he hadn't interrupted their conversation, Peter probably couldn't have said the word 'abuse' out loud. It wasn't a common thing and he didn't want to jump to conclusions and appear like a fool in front of James. And if James asked Sirius about it and told him that it was Peter who had suggested that, he would have had to face Sirius' wrath, which he was definitely not ready for.

James looked at Sirius thoughtfully as he dried his hair.

"My skin feels a little dry," said Sirius, examining his fingers.

James grinned. "Well why don't you use one of those creams? My mum uses them, she has many pots," he said, trying to make fun of him, but Sirius actually considered it.

"What kind does she use?" he asked.

"Well how should I know? I'm not a girl!" said James, and Peter laughed.

"You don't have to be a girl to use a moisturiser!" said Sirius crossly, and the other two laughed.

" _Oh, look at me, I'm a posh pureblood and I need moisturiser,_ " said Peter, imitating Sirius' accent exactly.

" _Excuse me, I only use it because my hands get dry, I'll have you know!_ " said James, also mocking him.

"Shut up!" Sirius yelled at them, but they just guffawed. "Moony wouldn't laugh at me for this," he said.

"Oh really?" asked James.

"Really," said Sirius, putting his towel on the rack to dry.

"Then why don't you tell him yourself when he comes back?" said Peter.

"I'm not talking to him, remember?" said Sirius.

"Hey Pete," said James, grinning. "Don't you think it's funny how he won't talk to Remus, but he's still willing to continue with the animagus transformation with us?"

"Very ironic," said Peter, nodding, trying not to laugh.

"It's a paradox," said James.

Sirius stared at them for a few moments. "I don't have to be friends with him to help him," he said.

"Sirius-"

"I don't want to talk about it!" he yelled and shut his curtains. Peter and James exchanged bemused looks.

Friday night arrived, and Remus couldn't take it anymore. He needed to explain to Sirius why he'd read the letter, and he would rather have Sirius yell at him, or even hit him, than further endure this silent treatment. He found the other Marauders sitting at their usual table playing Exploding Snap and walked up to them. James and Peter looked up at him, but Sirius was determinedly looking at his cards.

"Sirius, can I please explain?" he said, but Sirius just shook his head, still looking away.

"I only-" Remus began but Sirius cut him off by turning his head to look at Remus' shoes. Peter and James looked at each other nervously.

"You 'only'? There's nothing 'only' about this," Sirius said to him. "How could you do it, Remus?"

"I-"

"I asked one thing of you guys. _One thing_. Don't ask about my family... Do you know why I ask that?" asked Sirius.

Remus swallowed. "Yeah, I do."

"Because I hate my family. I hate them. I get enough of them at home, I don't want to talk about them at school too. I want to be happy here, not get drawn into a discussion about what my mother said in that letter. Why couldn't you respect that, huh?"

"I know that, but avoiding talking about these things is escapism. You _do_ need to discuss it, Sirius," said Remus. Sirius looked restive. Even the prospect of talking about discussing his family was frightening to him. "I swear it will give you some perspective."

"It just brings me down!" said Sirius vexedly.

"What about when you three ask me about my-" Remus paused and looked around, there was no one nearby. "-My furry little problem, huh? you think I love talking about it? Have you ever thought about how I feel when you ask me all those questions?"

The three of them looked stricken.

"But you are right to ask me," said Remus. "It's difficult for me, but it really helps, you know." Peter and James smiled in relief.

Then Remus realised that Sirius probably did talk about it. To James or Marlene. Maybe he just didn't want to tell Remus about these things. "Do you talk about it with James or Marlene?" he asked, feeling really left out.

"He never told me about the letter or anything of the sort," said James immediately.

Sirius shook his head. "You- you cannot do this," he said, looking down at his cards again. "It's my letter. It's private, I-" He looked really uncomfortable.

And Remus finally understood what he'd done wrong. _The issue was not about himself, it's about his parents. I never want to talk about dad either. And judging from that letter, it clearly was an extremely delicate situation, and I've violated his trust._  
Remus' intentions were honourable, but the way he approached it, wasn't. And what Remus didn't also know, was that no one in the Black household ever talked about their problems. Talking or complaining about something difficult was a show of weakness. And the heir wasn't supposed to be weak.

"Sirius, I'm sorry," he finally said. "I know I shouldn't have read the letter, but I didn't know what else to do."  
 _Please look at me. Just once. Please._  
"You'd said in Charms, that no one understands you," Remus mumbled, trying to catch his eye. "I read it, cos I wanted to understand what was bothering you so much." Sirius didn't respond, he didn't even look up.  
"I'm really sorry," Remus said again.

James and Peter looked at Sirius, but he still didn't react. He just stared at the chair opposite him.

Remus took his silence as resentment and felt close to tears. "Okay," he said subduedly and walked away. They watched him step out the Portrait hole.

"He has a point, you know," said Peter slowly, not wanting to anger Sirius.

"Yeah, how are we supposed to understand you if you don't _share_ stuff with us?" asked James, smiling.

"I feel quite guilty now," said Sirius, looking at both of them. "I thought he'd just hang with Evans, you know."

"Yeah, but he can't, _all_ the time. She has her own friends," said Peter fairly.

"Who'll all probably think he's a pretentious arsehole if he did, anyway!" said James, and they laughed.

"Let's wait for him here, till he gets back!" said Sirius, and the other two nodded.

Remus found an empty classroom again, sat down in one of the chairs and wiped his eyes. _He'll never ever forgive me...  
_ Fresh tears leaked from his eyes, and he put his head on his arms and sniffed. After a while, he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

"Mr. Lupin?" he heard someone call, a couple of hours later.

Remus opened his eyes and slowly looked up. It was Professor Dumbledore. "Professor!" he said, standing up quickly.

"Why are you sleeping here?"

"I.. I just fell asleep."

"I see. I thought you may have been hiding from someone."

Remus looked up at Dumbledore. He was smiling down at him, his eyes twinkling. "Off you go, now. I'm sure your friends are waiting for you."

 _Yeah, right. You don't know Sirius Black._ "Goodnight, sir," he said anyway.

"Goodnight."

Two hours had passed, but Remus wouldn't come back. "Where is he?" asked Peter.

"Someone get the Map," said James.

"Why don't you get it?" Sirius told him.

"Fine," said James, stretching. He went upstairs, and came back with the Marauders' map. "He's in a classroom with _Dumbledore_ ," he told them with a puzzled expression.

"What!" said Peter, and they bent over the Map, and James pointed at the classroom.

"Now he's coming back!" said Sirius. They saw the small dot labelled Remus Lupin move slowly up the Gryffindor Tower stairs and towards the Portrait hole. They turned around and waited for the portrait hole to open, and there Remus was, finally. Peter waved him over. Sirius and James stared at him as he walked warily over. His eyes were slightly puffy and Sirius felt awful.

"Well, sit down," said James.

Remus slowly took a seat, and he saw the Map. He guessed that they were looking to see where he went.

"What were you doing with Dumbledore?" Peter asked him.

"Nothing. I fell asleep and he just found me," he told them.

"Why were you sleeping there?" Sirius asked him, and they stared at each other.

"Remus, have you been sleeping in that classroom this whole week?" James asked him.

Remus didn't say anything. _How do you tell the very people you'd been hiding from, that you'd been hiding from them?_

"Why are you like this?" Sirius asked him.

"Like what?"

"Like you do the most maddening thing ever, and then suddenly, it's all justified," said Sirius.

 _Thank Merlin he understood me._ "I was just being honest," Remus replied. "What's your excuse?"

It looked like Sirius didn't have an answer to that. "Inbreeding?" he said after a while, and Remus couldn't help but chuckle. He felt like he was laughing after months. Sirius smiled at him, and James and Peter laughed as well.

"Can we please dispense with the drama now?" asked James.

Peter said, "Yes, in fact I'm going to bed, who's coming?"

"Yeah, me!" said James, yawning widely.

"I've missed you waving at me, Peter," Remus said. Peter smiled at him.

They all stood up, and Sirius hugged Remus tightly. "I missed _you_ ," he mumbled.

Remus happily hugged him back. He had definitely missed the smell of Sirius' hair. And the feel of his strong arms. It felt nice. In fact, it felt too nice. So nice, that Remus hadn't thought he would ever feel this way.

"Aw!" said James, and then he and Peter hugged them too. Remus laughed.

"Love you, Moony," said Sirius.

As Sirius collected all his things, he looked up at his friends who were waiting for him at the foot of the stairs. _How patient they are with all my daily theatrics._

"Sirius has forgiven me," Remus told Lily gleefully the next evening, as they looked around for books they needed for an assignment.

"Yes, I noticed you were talking again," she said, pointing at a book on one of the shelves above. Remus was already so tall, that he didn't really need the ladder to reach some of the top shelves.

"So what did you do to earn his forgiveness?" she asked him, smiling.

"I apologised," he said, grinning.

Lily chuckled. "I wonder why you didn't think of that before, Remus?" she asked.

Remus turned to look at her. "I was too busy being a self-righteous arsehole," he said.

She shook her head and chuckled again.


	14. Chocolate and Wasabi

" _Potter, Potter, Potter!_ " everyone around him was chanting.

"Woohoo!" shouted James, before chugging the entire bottle of butterbeer in one go. His supporters cheered wildly.

Gryffindor had been doing quite badly up until now. They'd lost a match and the last one had ended in a draw. But they pulled themselves together and managed to scrape a win against Ravenclaw. The celebration in the Gryffindor common room was in full swing - the place was practically a zoo.

"James, that is your twelfth butterbeer," James heard Remus' voice from somewhere amongst the madness of the people around him, but he pretended not to hear him.

"I can't believe you've been keeping count!" cried Peter, chortling.

"Not that there is any use," Remus replied, and they laughed.

Someone produced a gigantic box of Every flavour beans out of nowhere and everyone crowded around it. Remus started to make his way toward them, but then he remembered his book about the _Úlfhéðnar,_ a tribe of wolf warriors in Scandinavia. He sat in an armchair near the fire and pulled out the book from his bag with caution. The book was written in the fourteenth century, and so it was extremely delicate. He opened it feeling extremely content. He was in a particularly interesting part of the story, (Hjalmar had just told Ulf that the sword he was holding in his right hand was indeed the Sword of the Green Sea) and he didn't even mind the noise all around him.

Sirius and James started eating the Every flavour beans, two at a time. "Orange and... cumin, I think. Gross!" said Sirius, making a face. The kids around them laughed.

"Eww. Cola and something… I think it's turnip!" exclaimed James and everyone laughed again.

"Okay, let me try," said Cecilia, a third year. They all looked excitedly at her. "Chocolate," she said putting one bean in her mouth.

Remus looked up. He'd never gotten a chocolate flavoured bean before.

Cecilia popped the second one into her mouth, "and that's, _uurgh!_ Wasabi!" she cried, and everyone laughed.

"Aww!" said Sirius, putting his arm around her. "At least you didn't get a vomit-flavoured one."

Frank put a bean in his mouth and coughed and spit it out. "Chilli!" he choked and Alice thumped his back and gave him some water to drink.

James searched around the box and handed him a white coloured bean. "Milk is good for spicy things," he said.

Frank took the bean dubiously and put it in his mouth. "That might have been cauliflower, James," he said and everyone laughed again.

Buach put two beans in his mouth. "Cheese and liquorice!"

Gideon Prewett was next. "Coconut and toffee," he announced, grinning and everybody booed him.

And thus the game continued, until poor Peter vomited all over the beans and himself. Everyone backed away quickly, cursing and squealing. Remus looked up from his book again, concerned.

"Oh Peter!" said James, pitying him. "I told you this game isn't for the weak hearted ones!"

Peter groaned, holding his stomach.

"His face looks a bit green... Let's get you to bed, Peter," Sirius told him.

James nodded at him. "Come on," he said, leading Peter up the stairs. Everyone whined and moaned. "I'll be back!" he told everyone, grinning.

Remus chuckled to himself. James loved being the centre of attention, and this time the attention was well-deserved. Although, it usually was. _James is good at everything... everything except at getting Lily to go out with him, of course._  
Remus smiled to himself and went back to reading his book. The people around him chatted away happily. Someone put on very loud music and an impromptu dance session was in progress. Through all this cacophony, Remus' sensitive ears singled out a voice nearby. One that sounded particularly mischievous and flirty.

Sirius had forced himself not to look for Remus ( _he is probably with Dorcas anyway… sniff_ ), so he thought he would talk to any person in front of him. It just so happened that this person was Cecilia. He went and sat down on the arm of the girl's chair. "So, Cecilia," he said, smiling down at her. "I didn't know you had such a strong constitution."

"Back at you, Black. Some people would say that's pretty hot." she said.

Sirius wondered why having a strong stomach was considered hot... then he became aware that she was flirting with him. He grinned. "They might say the same thing about you,' he replied. He couldn't help it. Girls, it seemed, never wanted to have a normal conversation with him. All they wanted to do was flirt with him.

"So, you think I'm hot?" she asked, smiling slyly.

"I've always thought you were hot, Cecilia," he replied.

Remus listened to this conversation and he discovered he didn't like what he was hearing. _Does Sirius really think Cecilia was hot?_  
Then he realised that he probably shouldn't be listening to this conversation at all, and quickly went back to his reading. _I mean, who am I to be judging conversations I shouldn't be listening in on, in the first place?_  
But after ten or so minutes, he couldn't help looking up at them curiously. He saw Sirius lean in and whisper something in her ear and she giggled. They were both talking in low voices now, and Remus decided he wouldn't listen in.  
 _Everyone deserves their privacy, right?  
_ Remus looked back at his book, but he couldn't even read a single word. He looked up at them again, and Cecilia now had her hand on Sirius' thigh.  
 _Oh what a dunce that Cecilia is.  
_ A group of second years moved in front of him, now blocking his view. _Good, now I don't have to look at them. But I just can't fathom why he is always flirting with girls... if he liked them so much, why doesn't he ask one out and be done with it? Also, why do I care? It's not like he'll listen to me if I tell him anything._

Sirius chuckled at Cecilia's joke about the hag, the healer and the Mimbulus mimbletonia, and thought about how Remus would really like this one. He looked around for him, wondering what he was up to. He couldn't spot him at first, so he slowly got to his feet. Cecilia was confused. The group of second years moved again and he finally and spotted him in the armchair by the fire. Remus had a book in his hand, but he wasn't reading it. Instead, he seemed to be fiddling with its dust jacket, deep in thought, brows furrowed. Then he thought he saw Remus half-glance at him, but he couldn't be sure. Completely forgetting about Cecilia, he made to walk toward Remus, but then he remembered her again.  
"Oh, sorry! Er, I'll see you later, Cecilia!" he said, smiling at her.

"Yeah, see you," she said, smiling back at him. She wondered as he walked away, what had happened. The energy between them had changed so abruptly. She sighed. _Oh well, I tried._ She lowly got to her feet and looked around for her friends.

Sirius stopped in front of Remus, putting his hands in his pockets. Remus slowly looked up at him from his book, his face appeared a bit guilty. Sirius was just going to ask him what was up, when-

"I'M BACK, BABY!" yelled James from the top of the stairs, and they both looked up at him. Everyone cheered, and James ran down the stairs, skipping two at a time. Remus and Sirius looked at each other and laughed.

"He shouldn't be drinking more butterbeers!" said Remus, jumping up and putting the book back in his book bag. And they went over to James. Somehow, he had already had a butterbeer in his hand by the time they reached him, and he was already surrounded by five people who were asking him how he performed a certain maneuver in the match.

"Thank you, James," said Sirius, taking the butterbeer from his hand and taking a swig.

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Not anymore," Sirius told him, and turned around announcing to everyone, "Okay people, no more butterbeers for James here," and everyone chuckled, and then nodded hastily when they saw Sirius narrow his eyes dangerously.

Remus bit back a smile. As much as Sirius wanted to hate his family, he couldn't deny that their sinister reputation made people wary of him, and that worked to his advantage in cases like these.

"Eat this!" said Remus, handing James a slice of pizza.

James happily took it. And then he started explaining the maneuver to the kids around him. Sirius and Remus watched him fondly, the earlier confusion completely forgotten.

Finally, at around eleven, an exhausted Professor McGonagall shut down the party and sent everyone to bed. James fell over twice as the boys made their way up the stairs.

"James, please use your feet!" said Sirius, steadying him again.

Remus walked behind them, holding James' shoes. Robbie and Gareth, who were climbing the stairs ahead of them, laughed rudely at James and high-fived each other. Sirius wanted to tell them off, but he decided to ignore them just for now.

When they entered the dorm, they heard an odd sound, somewhat like the static whining of a muggle microphone. They looked at each other, frowning. "What is that?" asked Sirius.

Then James realised what it was. "Peter!" he yelped, and ran over to his bed in his socks, slipping on the carpet on the way and nearly falling over again.

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other before hurrying over. It wasn't the sound of a microphone, but of Peter weeping. James shoved his bed curtains apart, and pulled the bed covers off. Peter was lying on his side in his pyjamas, face red, snot covering his face and pillow, wailing away like crazy.

"Pete!" said James, sitting down on the bed and shaking him. "Pete, what happened, mate?!" He didn't respond. He didn't even acknowledge them.

"Peter?" said Sirius, highly distressed.

Remus was shocked speechless. He sat down at the foot of the bed and put his hand on Peter's leg. Peter wept, gulping huge amounts of air in between sobs.

"I'm getting McGonagall," said Sirius and ran back downstairs. Professor McGonagall was standing near the fire, talking to Anthony Jordan.

"Mr. Black, didn't just I ask all of you to go to bed?" she said as soon as she spotted him.

"But professor, it's Peter! He's- he's not well-"

"No need to worry, Professor," interrupted Jordan. "Pettigrew just ate too many sweets and vomited."

"No! Something's wrong, professor, he's- ugh, please come, professor," Sirius begged and thankfully, Minerva nodded and followed him up the stairs. Jordan came along too.

"Oh my," she said as soon as she entered.

"Professor, he can't stop crying," Remus said immediately.

"Jordan, run and fetch Madam Pomfrey, and tell her to bring a Calming draught," she ordered, and Jordan gave her a small nod and quickly sprinted out.

"Mr. Pettigrew," said Minerva, bending down and touching his forehead to check for a fever. _Oh no, he's burning up._ "Mr. Pettigrew… Mr. Pettigrew?" she tried to get his attention.

"Peter, mate," said James worriedly.

They all looked at each other's faces worriedly as they waited. At long last, they heard footsteps up the stairs and Madam Pomfrey arrived, and Jordan behind her, holding her healing kit. "Mr. Pettigrew?" said Poppy, bending down and slapping his face. Then she looked at the other Marauders. "Pull him up, make him sit up," she told them.

"But he's crying," said Sirius.

"Do it anyway," said Poppy.

"Do it now," ordered Minerva.

The boys awkwardly pulled a sobbing Peter into a sitting position and Poppy somehow coaxed him into drinking the Calming draught. Peter slowly calmed down and whimpered into silence. After a few minutes, Minerva motioned to Jordan to leave and he immediately walked out, closing the door behind him.  
"Mr. Pettigrew, what happened?" she asked in a gentle voice that Remus disliked, because that was the voice she would use whenever she talked about his lycanthropy.

But it seemed to bring Peter out of his trance-like state. He wiped his eyes and nose with his sleeves and looked around at everyone with red, swollen eyes. Then he slowly reached under his pillow and took out a letter and handed it to James.

James took it from him and read it quickly. "Oh man," he said. Peter merely looked down at his hands.

The other two Marauders stared. "What?" asked Sirius. Peter glanced up at him for a moment and looked down again.

"The letter is from Mrs. Pettigrew. She says… his dad left," said James cautiously, and Peter's eyes filled with tears again.

Sirius and Remus exchanged concerned looks. Peter had mentioned that his parents were having problems in their marriage once or twice, but they hadn't known it was this bad. Obviously, no one goes into the details about their parents' marital problems, especially fourteen-year-old boys.

"Oh no," said Sirius, putting his hand on his shoulder and Peter started sobbing again.

"Pete, I'm so sorry," said Remus, which was a bad idea because he started sobbing harder.

"Poppy, do something!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Mr. Black, Madam Pomfrey already has one hysterical boy to deal with," said Minerva.

"No, he's right," said Poppy, searching through her kit.

"I am?" asked Sirius.

"I'll administer a Sleeping draught," she said, and made Peter drink a vial of purple potion. Peter immediately fell asleep, and James and Sirius lay him down again.

"He won't get nightmares, will he?" asked Sirius, as he covered Peter with the blanket gently.

"No," said Poppy, smiling a little. "The potion induces a deep, dreamless sleep."

"Good," he said.

Poppy's eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Do you often get nightmares, Mr. Black?"

"No," he answered quickly.

"Yes, you do!" said James. "You had one yesterday!"

Sirius looked mutinous, but he didn't say anything.

"He did?" asked Remus.

"Yeah," said James, nodding at them. "He gets nightmares all the time, Madam Pomfrey."

"I don't get them _all the time_ , alright," said Sirius. "I'm not medically unbalanced."

"Getting nightmares doesn't mean you're medically unbalanced, Mr. Black," Poppy explained. "It can mean you're just stressed… or-"

"Yeah, nah," said Sirius, shaking his head. "I'm fine."

"He's not, he gets nightmares about me falling off my broom, about Remus getting injured when he transforms, and the worst ones where he's always moaning and rolling around-"

"Stop it, James!" said Sirius.

"He never tells me the worst ones," finished James defiantly. Poppy and Minerva exchanged glances.

Remus looked at Sirius in shock. "I never knew the problem was this bad," he said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It isn't as bad as it sounds."

"It is," said James.

"Stop looking at me like that," Sirius told Remus, and Remus immediately adjusted his features.

"I have this powder," said Madam Pomfrey, taking a small tin out of her bag. "This powder will make the nightmares reduce in intensity," she said, handing Sirius the tin. He stubbornly didn't accept it, so she handed it to James.

"Make him eat a pinch of it," Minerva told him, and James nodded, throwing the tin up in the air and catching it again.

"Reduce in intensity but not in frequency?" he asked.

"The frequency always depends on the mental state, unfortunately," said Poppy. Sirius took the tin, opened it and sniffed the light grey powder.

"Don't snort it in, it's not cocaine," said Remus and grinned. McGonagall gave him a stern look, and he stopped smiling immediately.

"What's cocaine?" asked Sirius. No one replied. "Well, what's in this?" he asked.

"You probably don't want to know," Poppy said, smiling.

"Oh, now you have to tell me," he insisted.

"Fine, but don't tell me I didn't warn you. It's the ash of cow dung."

"Gross!" said Sirius.

"It's really healing, Mr. Black, Hindus even use it in their temples," said Poppy.

"That's what magical potions, healing powders and salves are made of, Mr. Black," said Minerva. "Animals and plants."

"Yeah, Peter just drank a potion containing flobberworm mucus," said James, and chuckled when the other two made noises of disgust.

Minerva often worried about her students, but sometimes, she worried about the Marauders in particular. They didn't exactly have what you would call, normal lives. She looked at Sirius, then at Remus, and then down at the sleeping Peter. "You boys need to go to sleep," she ordered.

"Okay," said Sirius. She raised her eyebrows. Sirius defeatedly took the small tin and put a small pinch of the ash in his mouth. "Hey, this actually tastes nice," he said.

The two women shook their heads and headed out of the dorm.

"What? Now you've gone totally bonkers!" said James, walking away to his own bed.

"Thank you, professors," Remus called after them and shut the door.

"No, really, it's nice. Go on, taste it," insisted Sirius, holding out the small tin.

"No way, thanks, Sirius. I'm perfectly fine," said James, pulling his pyjama bottoms on.

Remus smiled and took a small pinch.

"Remus! I cant believe you're doing it!" said James.

"Well, here goes," Remus said and put it in his mouth. "Holy Hippogriffs, its not bad!" he then exclaimed. "It tastes like clay... or chalk."

Sirius nodded. "See, what did I tell you?" he said and Remus grinned at him. Then the two of them just stood there looking at each other.

"You two need to sleep too," said James, crawling under his covers and getting comfortable. "It's nearly midnight."

"James, you haven't brushed," Remus reminded him.

"Bollocks! Why, Moony, why?" said James and got out of bed again. "It's _really_ not fun having you as a roommate sometimes." Sirius and Remus chuckled at him.


	15. Taxidermy Cockroach

Peter Pettigrew had always prided himself in the fact that he had never gotten a nightmare before. Nightmares were the sort of dappy problems, posh purebloods like Sirius had to deal with, not normal middle class people like himself. Obviously, he did get some when he was a small child, but those were not major, and he didn't suffer because of them. But, for the first time in his life, Peter had a nightmare. It happened two days after he'd received the news that his father had walked out on his mother. He couldn't really remember what had happened in the dream fully, but he had seen his mother sitting alone in the old house, crying over her solitary dinner. It hadn't been the dream per se, he knew that was just a silly nightmare, but the feeling of despair it spread in him, stayed with him for days.  
Peter had always liked his father more than his mother. His mother always forced him to follow silly rules and always talked about righteousness. Whereas his father was always the kind of person to take things lightheartedly. He never set much store by things like rules. All this while, Peter had always thought that he was similar to his father because he had made friends with pranksters like James and Sirius. Now, everything his father had said or did felt wrong. He didn't know what to do or how to be. He didn't want to be like his father anymore, but at the same time he missed his father terribly. His mother had sent him another letter, telling him not to contact his father. She was afraid her son would get hurt again. But that confused him further. What was he supposed to do now? Believe his mother explicitly and forget about his father? Or try and see if he could find out his father's side of the story too? What if his father still wanted to be in touch with him, but his mother was preventing him? The worst part of all was that he didn't know whom to turn to anymore. He didn't know what ideals to follow anymore. His head filled to the brim with tens of such questions, and he couldn't concentrate on any lessons.

If only he had shared with the others his dilemma, then maybe they would have been able to guide him in the right direction. They tried to talk to him about it several times, but he would just not respond. So eventually, they just let it go. Also, they simply thought he was sad because his father had left, they had no idea about the confusion in his head. So, they didn't know what to ask him.

It broke James' heart to see him walk around from class to class looking so extremely woebegone. "This cannot go on," he said to the other two one day, when Peter was in the bathroom.

"What?!" asked Sirius, panicking slightly. He'd been ogling Remus' toned back.

"He's talking about Pete, obviously?" said Remus, putting his t-shirt on.

"Oh, right," said Sirius, grinning with relief.

"Why are you grinning? Do you think it's funny cos it's Peter?" asked James indignantly.

"No! I feel really bad for the bloke, honestly," said Sirius, leaning on his bedpost pensively. And he really did. "I had half a mind to write to Mrs. Pettigrew and scold her for putting such bad news in a letter like that. I mean, he's such a precious little bunny…"

James and Remus looked at him in amazement.

"What?" he asked them.

They shared grins.

"What is it?" Sirius was annoyed now.

"I had no idea you were such a softie," said James.

"What's a softie?" Sirius asked, slightly repulsed.

Remus chuckled. "It means you're a compassionate person with a rough exterior," he explained.

"Right," said Sirius, nodding. "Wait, no I'm not."

"Yes you are," said Remus, smiling.

"And you'll never let me forget it, will you?" asked Sirius resignedly. Remus shook his head and grinned.

"What a _wonderful_ friend you are," said Sirius sarcastically.

"You too," Remus answered, and the two of them shared eye contact for more than normal amount of time.

" _Back_ to the point, what are we going to do about Pete?" asked James. "We need to cheer him up."

"Yes. Using any means necessary," agreed Remus.

"Did we just hear you right? _Any means necessary_?" asked James, perking up quickly.

"Yeah, it's a task of the utmost importance. We can't let a Marauder be out of sorts for too long," said Sirius, nodding importantly.

"Also, I was wondering what I was going to do with all this _Industrial strength_ muggle glue I brought," said Remus casually.

"What is it?!" asked Sirius curiously.

" _Where_ is it?!" asked James, looking amazed.

Peter opened the bathroom door and looked at James' and Sirius' wild faces with a slight trepidation.

For the next few days, the Marauders threw themselves headfirst into pranking in their effort to cheer Peter up. Not that he was complaining. Everyone at school had to be just a little wary of the Marauders over the coming days.

One the first day, they had gone and glued all the windows shut in the Ravenclaw Common room with the muggle glue, but the brainy Ravenclaws figured how to melt the glue soon enough. It took only them six hours... because they were so egoistic and they didn't want to ask their Head of house for help.

On the second day, they went to the library at midnight and changed all the dates in the log book, so all the due dates had passed, and all the books were either overdue, or not due until 1999. They also jumbled up the library cards completely.

"Why?" asked Remus as they walked back to the Tower under the cloak.

"We're avenging Peter. Pince gave him detention one time, just for sneezing in the library," said James.

On the third day, Timmy the house-elf caught up to them in the Charms corridor. James and Sirius had convinced the innocent-looking elf to let them know when they were going to be served spaghetti for lunch.  
"Young masters, tomorrow is the day we make Spaghetti aglio e olio!" he squeaked.

"Why, thanks, Timmy!" said James, and the elf bowed and disapperated. He turned to the others with an evil glint in his eye.

During History of Magic, Peter discreetly held out his palm, which was filled with gummy worms.

" _Pag-agi_ ," whispered James, and the gummy worms started slithering up his hand like snakes. Peter squealed loudly and dropped them on the floor.

Professor Binns looked over owlishly. "Mr. Peregrine, whatever is the matter?" he asked. The class sniggered softly.

"Oh nothing, Sir," said Peter, flushing pink.

The professor went back to his explanation of the 1356 Vampire Revolt of Romania. Remus clicked his fingers and Peter looked over. He pointed to Claire Fawcett's chair. The gummy worms were slowly slithering their way up her chair. Peter panicked and got down on his hands and knees and crawled over to her chair. The other three stifled their laughter as he made faces, trying to get the gummy worms to release their grip on her chair. Other students tried to see what he was doing, and there was quite a lot of murmuring going on. Suddenly, Fawcett looked down and spotted Peter at her side. She shrieked and jumped in fright.

Professor Binns looked up from his textbook again. "Mr. Peregrine, what is with all this cretinous behaviour today?" he asked, looking peeved now.

"I'm sorry Sir, I'm sorry," Peter said and hurriedly gathered up his gummy worms, which had thankfully slowed down.

James, Sirius and Remus couldn't stop laughing.

"You should be grateful the charm wore off," said Peter crossly, as he took his seat beside James.

That afternoon in Potions, James decided to make Peter laugh by placing an extremely realistic fake cockroach on Milla Larsen's shoulder when he went to submit his essay. After a few minutes, her twin sister Arvid noticed it. She wasn't afraid of roaches, so she just flicked it off with her finger and they got back to their potion.  
"Well that was utterly anti-climactic," said Remus, and the other two laughed.

But what the shopkeeper in Diagon Alley had failed to mention to James, was that the roach wasn't a fake one, it was actually a taxidermy roach. Which meant it was a real, dead cockroach. And when Arvid had flicked it, it had fallen into Lily's cauldron!

Lily was already an expert potioneer by this time. She enjoyed researching various ways to try and make potion-making simpler. Until the year before, her favourite thing about the Potions class was that she could hang out with Severus. He used to note down every tip she discovered. But now that he had deserted her, she had to make do with another classmate named Buach Murphy. Unknown to her, Severus sat in the row behind her on the Slytherin side and still watched her everyday.

"Evans, it smells really amazing," said her partner Buach, sniffing the potion.

"I know, it actually smells like Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction. Something's not right," said Lily, consulting the textbook.

"What?"

"It's supposed to smell quite cloying, not amazing. It's Girding Potion after all," she replied.

"Now, listen up everyone," said Professor Slughorn. "I must warn you that one must not ingest more than two vials of this potion at a time. And also, this potion is banned in all professional Quidditch matches."  
He looked between James and Lee Ga Yi and smiled. The rival chasers unintentionally exchanged glaces.

"Add the dragonfly thoraxes and lets see what happens," said Lily nervously poked her wand at the flames, and they increased in intensity. She had never gotten a potion wrong before. But the potion, instead of turning blue, turned a brownish yellow and bubbled thickly like molasses.

" _Oh no_ ," she moaned. "What did you do, Murphy?"

"Nothing, Evans! I followed your instructions precisely," he said.

"You did something. I've never gotten a potion wrong before," she said testily.

"Look, I told you, I did exactly as you asked," he said.

"By now, all of you should have reached the penultimate stage of your potion," said the professor, walking around to inspect everyone's potions.

"Let's see if we can fix it," she said, taking a deep breath and reading the instructions again. But when she looked up, Buach had already put his hand up.

"Murphy, no!" she whispered, pulling his hand down again, but Slughorn had seen him.

He walked over and peered good-naturedly into their cauldron and was extremely surprised to see the yellow colour.

"Ms. Evans, what potion are you making?" he asked.

"Girding Potion, sir," she replied in a low voice.

"But my dear, it is supposed to be blue, not yellow," he said.

"I know Sir, we may have gone wrong somewhere," said Buach, and some Slytherins laughed.

"Well well, _Super-Lily_ has finally slipped up and made a mistake," said Ulna Urquart. Ulna had always been jealous of Lily's good marks in potions.

"I did not!" said Lily loudly. "I never make mistakes!"

"Um, this may be news to you, but your potion's the colour of poo, so…" Ulna trailed away, and she and her gang guffawed meanly. Lily blushed furiously. Everyone was now looking at her. Severus was gawping.

"Now now, ladies," said Slughorn, gesturing for them to stop. "Let's see where you went wrong then." He proceeded to ask them what they did step-by-step.

"Hmm," he said, gathering up some potion with the ladle and poured it into the cauldron again. It flowed sluggishly. "It looks like you may have added some extra ingredients." He looked around on their workbench, but there was nothing. "Perhaps a cricket… or a spider," he informed them and Lily and Buach exchanged perplexed looks. They shook their heads.

Arvid heard the professor's comments and was horrified. _The cockroach!_  
"Er," she said, turning to them. "There was a cockroach on Milla's shoulder, and I flicked it away… it may have landed in your potion, Evans."  
She looked really guilty. "I'm really sorry, Evans."

"Oh, shit," said Sirius.

"I put the roach there," said James. "That was my fault." Peter giggled.

"I'm sorry, but I am going to have to put the three of you in detention," said the professor, and Lily looked distraught.

"No Sir, please. It was only my fault," implored Arvid, but Slughorn shook his head.

"Potion-making is a precise and exact science, my dears," he told them. "You need to be ever aware of your environs in a Potions laboratory. You cannot just throw things around or look away from your potion even for a minute. That is irresponsible."

Lily was miserable. Her record had been spotless up until now, she had never received a detention before.

"What are you going to do?" asked Sirius.

"Fess up, obviously," said Remus.

"Yeah," said James, getting to his feet.

"Really? You'll get detention," said Peter, looking at him in awe.

"I know, but its my fault," said James and walked over to them.

"He's so principled," said Sirius, grinning at the others.

"Er, professor, this is my fault," said James, and Lily and Buach looked up at him in anger.

"Potter?!" exclaimed Lily. "What did you do?"

"Um, I placed the cockroach there, but I had no idea it was a real one, I though it was a mould," he explained.

Slughorn looked annoyed. "Well, Mr. Potter, you can join them for detention today at seven in my office," he said simply.

"But don't you think you're being a bit unfair, professor?" James said. "I mean the entire thing is my fault, you cannot expect them to predict _these_ kind of circumstances," he added, pointing at Lily and Buach.

"Perhaps you're right. Mr. Murphy, Ms. Evans, I'll give you a chance to make up for this Potion mark. Write me ten inches on the ill-effects of Potion-tampering with Arthropoda, to be submitted by day-after-tomorrow," he told them, and he moved on to Arvid's and Milla's potion.

Lily glared at James darkly. "You. You complete arse James Potter!" she said to him acrimoniously, and James took a step back. "I've never gotten detention before! This is all because of you!"

"Evans, I'm so sorry, I just-"

"Detention and extra work! God, you pea-brained moke! Get out of my sight!" she said, and James quickly walked back to his place beside Peter, who showed him their perfectly finished potion. He smiled and took his seat.

"Don't feel too bad, mate," said Remus, grinning.

"I'm not," said James, chuckling. "Detention with Evans tonight," he said and winked. Sirius and Remus exchanged smirks.

"And those witless Slytherins laughing at me just because I got _one_ thing wrong _one_ time!" Lily ranted.

"At least they call you Super-Lily and not Ms. Chicken," said Alice consolingly. Lily nodded sadly.

"By the way, when did you smell Dr. Ubbly's Oblivious Unction?" asked Buach.

"Shut up, Murphy!"


	16. Garlic Spaghetti

"Evans," Lily heard James whisper that evening. They were in Slughorn's office, waiting for the professor to set them their task. She ignored him pointedly.

"Evans! Hey Evans," he called her again, but she just pretended not to hear him. He sent a parchment floating towards her and she caught it.

She gave him a curious look and read it. It was the ten inches on Potion-tampering with Arthropoda. He had done her work for her, and she knew it would be impeccable. But submitting that would be dishonest, and she couldn't have that. "I can't accept this," she said, and made to return it to him.

Buach snatched it away. "Are you demented? It's his fault, and so he's done the work for us," he said. "We're spell-checking this and submitting it."

Lily shrugged in acceptance. "Fine." _No need to spellcheck it, though._

When the professor called their attention, Buach submitted the assignment and the professor was mightily impressed. He made all of them arrange the preserved animal parts, but then he called Lily away immediately to discuss this new article on axolotl toes for almost half the detention.

James gazed at her. _She's so passionate and opinionated and awesome and…_

"Potter! Hello..." said Buach, waving his hand in front of his eyes. James looked up at him. "Hand me that jar… what's in it?" asked Buach, standing on the stepladder.

"It's er… I think it's murtlap tentacles. It doesn't have a label," James replied, examining the jar.

"Oh, give it to me," said Arvid, and went to confirm with the professor, giving James a bit more time to stare at Lily. But Lily caught him staring, and when she returned to help them, she pretended like James was invisible.

It didn't bother him. _She looks so beautiful today._

After their allotted time was up, the four Gryffindors walked back to the Tower. "That was so decent of you to confess, Arvid," said Lily. "I'm sorry you got detention though."

"I deserved it. So did Potter," replied Arvid, grinning. "Although, I guess he more than made up for it by doing your make-up essay for you."

"Yeah," said Buach. James grinned and fell into step with Lily.

Lily glanced at him. "Yes of course, but it doesn't negate everything he did."

"Great Godric, Evans, you're never satisfied," said James, grinning.

"It's Mary's birthday today, d'you think I'd rather have spent my time having fun with her or in detention?" she asked.

"You got to spend it with me, though, didn't you have fun?" asked James, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"You've officially reached the heights of delusion," she replied. "Seriously? You're the sperm that won?" Buach and Arvid laughed.

"Ouch," said Buach.

"Nothing hurts when it comes from Evans, Murphy," said James.

"Oh yeah?" asked Buach.

"Mhm," said James. "She thinks I'm deluded? At least she's thinking of me, yeah?"

Buach and Arvid shared amazed looks.

"Who talks like that?" asked Lily, exasperated.

"I do. I can never think badly of you, Evans," said James.

Lily looked up at him as they waited for Arvid and Buach to go through the Portrait hole. "You never think at all, Potter."

Lily and her gang sat sat on Alice's bed, playing games and eating red velvet cake.

"Show," said Marlene grinning and laying her cards down.

"Oh damn," said Alice. "I give up!" The others laughed.

"Hey Lily, didn't you have that make-up essay to do?" asked Mary.

"Um, Potter did it for us," Lily said awkwardly.

"And you accepted his work?!" asked Alice, astonished.

"I wasn't prepared to, but Murphy is a lazy git," she said, making them giggle again.

"That was really kind of him, though," said Alice.

"It was his fault! I'm glad he had the common sense to do it," said Marlene.

"Yeah!" Lily agreed.

"Frank told me that Pettigrew's father left," said Alice.

"Oh no, that's awful," said Marlene.

"Terrible," said Lily.

"Left? You mean they separated?" asked Mary quickly.

"Yes, Frank told me he was feeling really down, so the Marauders are trying to cheer him up," said Alice.

"Oh, so _that's_ why they're on some sort of prank rampage?" asked Mary.

"I expect so," said Alice, grinning.

Lily felt a little guilty. _I guess it had just been an innocent prank gone wrong…  
_ But still, there was the detention on her record to consider. _Nope, he's still a pea-brained moke!_

On the fourth day of their 'prank rampage', right before Charms ended for lunch, Peter and Sirius disappeared under the cloak and snuck into the kitchens and charmed all the spaghetti with a modified _Pag-agi Charm_.

Pete had insisted on charming some of the spaghetti casseroles too, but he overdid the charm on them. So, when the time came for the charm to get activated, each individual spaghetto slithered violently all over the tables, up the pupils' hands and even into their clothes. It was pandemonium. The teachers were horrified at the scene. They tried stopping it, but every counter-charm they used was only able to stop one spaghetto at a time. The pasta from casseroles Sirius had charmed were only demurely moving around on the plates. It still looked revolting and inedible though.

"Who did this? How did they do this?!" shouted Professor Sinistra, as she tried to get the pasta out of a terrified second year's hair. The spaghetti was energetically twisting and tangling itself through her long braids. Professor McGonagall was yelling at Ravenclaw Prefect Amos Diggory to go and fetch Professor Flitwick.

Peter rolled around on the floor, clutching his stomach and wheezing with laughter. He didn't care that he was covered in spaghetti.

"For fuck's sake, Pete!" said Sirius, chortling at the frenzy they had started, even though his own hair was filled with pasta. James helped him pull some of the pasta out of his hair.

Minerva looked over at the Marauders. _Surely it's them._  
She started to walk towards them. As she approached them, she overheard their conversation.

"I wish I had a camera so I could photograph this moment, Sirius," said Remus.

James laughed. "You know how there's fairy hair pasta? Here we have, pasta haired fairy," he said, pointing at Sirius' hair. Sirius gave him an astounded look and James grinned back at him.

Then Sirius shook his head and said, "I hope the smell of this garlic washes out... I need to wash it for long enough so that the smell goes, but no loo long so it becomes dry..."

Minerva paused and folded her hands thoughtfully. _Will Sirius Black purposely do this to his hair, I wonder? He's quite obsessed with it..._

Finally, Professor Flitwick entered the Great Hall at a jog, followed by Amos Diggory, and waved his wand over all the students. All the slithering pasta fell limp immediately. Peter picked himself up off the floor, still chuckling and spotted her. To his amazement, she just gave him a stern look and walked away. The Marauders looked at each other in surprise. Best of all, the students were given the afternoon off to recover from the trauma and wash themselves clean.

"On the whole, it was a successful prank!" said Sirius, grinning. "I even managed to get all the garlic smell out of my hair."

James leaned in and sniffed his hair. "Smells like tangerines now," he said and Sirius nodded.

"Holy Hippogriffs! Best day ever!" Peter exclaimed to the others.

"It was, except for that one Slytherin girl who was screeching like a banshee!" said James. "I wonder what happened to her?"

"Spaghetto up her nose," Remus informed them gravely.

"Oh no!" said Sirius.

"Spaghetto up the nose?" asked Peter weakly, grinning as if trying to resist laughter. Sirius chortled at the look on his face and then Peter burst out laughing, and kept laughing for a long time. The other three were delighted to see him laugh like that.

At breakfast on the fifth day, Remus riffled though the Daily Prophet, scanning for Greyback's name.

"I've already checked, it's not there," said Sirius.

"Right," said Remus and reached his hand for the coffee pot.

"Maybe don't drink the coffee today, Moony," whispered James, grinning.

"Why not? I'll fall asleep in class," he said.

"You'll see," said Peter, raising his eyebrows pointedly.

Remus grinned and reached for the tea instead. He knew they hadn't woken him up for the prank because the full moon that day, and they just wanted him to get his rest.

A moment later, Sirius nudged them all and pointed to Jones. They watched as he poured the coffee into a mug and took a sip. Then his eyes widened, and he spit the coffee back into his mug and he put the mug back on the table, looking stricken. The Marauders laughed soundlessly. Jones didn't seem to want to tell the people around him anything, though. He just watched as Anthony Jordan took a sip of the coffee and spat it out all over his plate and his neighbour's plate.

"Bloody hell, mate," Dingle said, grabbing a napkin to wipe his hand.

"Don't drink the coffee," said Jordan, and immediately looked over at the Marauders and caught Peter staring at him. He immediately stood up and walked over. "Hello, boys," he said.

The Marauders looked up at him with their most innocent faces. "Hey, Prefect Jordan, what's up?" asked James.

"Oh, I'm sure you know what's up, Potter," said Jordan, and walked up and down along the Gryffindor table, telling the students to avoid the coffee.

"He's such a spoilsport!" said Sirius, but they noticed he only told the Gryffindors, that too in a not-so-loud voice. He had left the other houses to suffer.

"What did you do to the coffee?" asked Remus.

"We poured soy sauce into all the pots," said Peter and they all laughed.

Remus grimaced. "Ugh!" he said.

"Drank the coffee, did you?" asked Frank. "I thought the milk had gone bad," he said, showing them his mug.

"You didn't contaminate the teachers' coffee, did you?" Remus asked his friends. They all grinned scarily and he face-palmed.

Sure enough, Sirius, James and Peter all received four days of detention. Filch was overjoyed. He already had a list of chores waiting for when the Marauders would inevitably get detention. First on the list, clean the stinky owlery by hand.

Sirius woke with a start on the sixth day. He sat up and threw the covers back. "Remus," he said to himself and got out of bed and put his coat on and silently shut the dorm door behind him.

Remus sniffed the air. _Human flesh._  
He felt his mouth salivate. _Need to eat.  
_ His stomach rumbled with hunger. _No. Be gone, wolf. And don't come back until next month.  
_ The bloodlust receded sluggishly, but Remus was thankful all the same. He slowly opened his eyes and looked over at Sirius, who was nodding off on a rickety old hospital chair. He looked really peaceful and Remus smiled to himself. _He's always here.  
_ Then he wondered what the time was, it felt like the crack of dawn. He slowly felt his eyelids getting heavy, and then he succumbed to sleep again. When he came into consciousness next, a warm hand was carefully holding his own.  
"Moony, please don't be too injured," a voice said. Then he heard footsteps and more voices. The hand disappeared.  
 _No, come back, hand._

"Hey, Sirius," said another voice.

"Hey Jamesie. Pete."

"How long have you been here?"

"I'm not sure."

"Did he wake up?"

"No."

"How is he? Did he get injured?"

"I don't know, I haven't checked."

"I wonder how he'll react to that cut on his face…" said a meek sounding voice and Remus drifted off again.

At breakfast that day, Argus Filch received an official looking fake letter from the Ministry for Magic, saying that their delivery of the fifteen boxes of live mice would be arriving that afternoon, and to be ready to receive them. It also urged him to be cautious, as the mice were of the venomous kind, because they were from the Improper Use of Magic office.  
Filch opened the letter and read it, and the Marauders found it hilarious as they watched the panic rise in his face. He ran up to the Headmaster, who took one look at the letter and immediately knew what was going on. He successfully managed to calm him down. The three Marauders avoided his x-ray vision eyes.  
Then, Frank Longbottom received a fake love letter from a secret admirer, and he got into trouble with his girlfriend, Alice. James felt a bit guilty as Frank ran after Alice without finishing his breakfast.  
Later in the morning, as class was in session, Professor Flitwick noticed a note on his desk from 'Professor McGonagall'. He read it and it informed him that he was to attend the emergency staff meeting. He looked at his watch. He was already five minutes late, so he dismissed the class and hurried off.  
During lunch, Severus Snape received a letter, and when he opened it, he got engulfed in a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared, his eyes had grown double their size. His face was nothing but eyes. It was terribly creepy. People around him squealed and laughed. His gigantic eyes blinked malevolently in the Marauders' direction before he ran away to the Hospital Wing. Peter nearly pissed himself, laughing.  
Lily Evans received an owl during dinner. It was a folded piece of parchment. She knew that if she opened it, something would happen to her like it did to Severus. But she also knew that the Marauders were only trying to make Peter laugh, so she opened it anyway. There was a plum-coloured flash of light and all the hair on her head stood on its end. She looked like an immense dandelion. Everyone around her laughed.

"Hey Lily, it looks dandy, I'm not lyin'," said Marlene and everyone laughed again.

"Alright, alright, I get it," she said sportively, and James wondered if it was possible to fall more in love with her.


	17. Dried Herbs

Whatever deal he and Lily made on the night of the Greyback attacks was inconsequential to Severus. Once a week or so, he would find his beloved Lily and that oddball Remus Lupin laughing or studying together in the library, and he didn't even want to think about whether or not they hung out in their Common room.  
One rainy day in April, he watched from a corner of the library as Lily threw squares of chocolate at Remus and he caught them deftly with his mouth. They looked like they were having the best fun and it was only chocolate. From that night on, he decided to keep an annoyingly close eye on the two of them.

Today, as Remus walked back to Gryffindor Tower with Lily, he sensed someone's eye on him and whipped around. He saw a shadow fade around a corner.

"Did you see that?" he asked her, as she turned too.

"What?" she whispered.

"I thought I saw someone over there," he said, pointing to the end of the corridor.

"Who was it?" she asked, pulling him closer nervously.

"Let's find out," he said, and tiptoed back along the corridor. As he reached nearer to the end of the corridor, he got a faint metallic scent of an old cauldron and dried herbs, and he wondered whose scent this was. He mouthed '3,2,1,' and they suddenly turned the corner to find someone turning away quickly from them at the far end of the new corridor. He didn't see who it was, but Lily's sharp eyes caught them.

" _Severus?!_ Severus, get back here this instant!" she yelled and ran down along the corridor. Remus paused for a few moments, taken aback, then he ran after her. When they reached the end, there was no one there.

"Severus, I know it's you! Why the hell are you following me, you jerk!" she yelled into the darkness.

"Lily, come on, let's go," Remus said, afraid that her loud voice would attract Filch or worse, Peeves.

Lily was beside herself. "I have no clue why he would be behaving like this! I'm so embarrassed, Remus. I'm sorry!" she said.

"Lily, it's not your fault," he told her firmly, and took her hand and pulled her in the direction of their Tower. They walked in silence for a while.

"Why do you think he was following us?" he asked her uneasily and she sighed.

"I'm not sure, but I think that's his way of keeping an eye on me. He worries about me," she said pursed her lips in an awkward smile.

"That's all, right?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.

"No, no. Nothing, I just meant there are no other ulterior motives, right?" he said, and grinned.

"Why, are you hiding something?" she asked directly, and he looked at her with fear in his eyes.

She laughed and asked him, "Are you secretly a vampire?"

He knew she was trying to make him feel better and chuckled nervously. "Oh yeah, I am, and now you know!" he said, letting her hand go and touching the back of her neck. "I have been waiting for weeks for this opportunity, and now that I finally have you alone, I thought I could suck your sweet sweet blooood…" he said in a terrible Eastern European accent.

She laughed and grabbed his hand again and held onto it.

"Blood of a nubile virgin is especially invigorating," he said, and she swatted him with her hand.

"Remus! Fuck off!" she said, pretending to be insulted.

"Ugh, Lily we're fourteen... I'm a nubile virgin too," he said to her and they both laughed.

"Okay, are the guests going to include the _Wolfman_ , Dracula and his son?" she asked, unnerving him for a few moments.

Then he chuckled awkwardly. "Right... The Original Monster Mash by Bobby Picket!" he said.

She blinked at him thoughtfully. "Yeah," she said. Then she grinned. "I was working in the lab, late one night..."

They were still holding hands and singing the end of the song as they stepped in through the Portrait Hole. Remus noticed people staring at them and awkwardly let her hand go.

"Remus, I'm so sorry about Severus, I'll talk to him tomorrow," she assured him.

"Your wish," he told her. _If he'd been following us ever since we'd become proper friends, what else had he seen? What else does he know about me?_

"Remus, are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," he said, smiling.

She nodded, not entirely believing him. "Look Remus, we're friends now. If you have any problems, just know that you have me to talk to," she said. Remus nodded and smiled. "I know you have those imbeciles hovering over you constantly, look there they are now, staring at us," she said, gesturing with her eyes towards the staircases.

He turned just in time to see Sirius, James and Peter hide their faces unsubtly behind books. He sighed and smiled to himself.

"But, if you needed a new perspective on things, I'm your girl," she said, and he grinned again.

"Thanks, Lily."

Severus purposefully avoided her for almost three weeks, and she'd just about had it. He hadn't even wished her luck for her exams. Up until last year, they had always revised for Potions together. Now, she didn't understand why he was behaving this way. She missed him a lot, but she also wanted an explanation for his odd behaviour. So, at the risk of perhaps angering him further, she turned towards the Slytherin table and scanned it for Severus.

"What are you doing, Lily?!" asked Mary, trying to pull her away.

"I'm going to confront Severus!" she said, still looking up and down the table.

"I'm not standing here," Mary told her, and she and Alice walked away quickly toward the Gryffindor table. Lily realised that Marlene was right behind her, and she gave her a small smile.

The Slytherins noticed the two girls and started whispering and chuckling to each other. Lily's cheeks turned pink, and she made to walk away, but Marlene stopped her.

"Hey Reggie, where's Snape?" she asked directly. Lily had never seen Regulus Black up close before, and she stared at him.

Regulus looked up from his bacon and eggs, and his mouth slowly formed a withering sneer as soon as he spotted Lily. "He's skipping breakfast these days," he said to Marlene and his eyes flicked to Lily again. "To avoid someone, perhaps?"

"Yeah, he probably doesn't want to talk to mudbloods like you, ginger! Fuck off," said a sixth year Lily knew to be called Scabior. People around them laughed.

"Hey, watch your mouth, weasel!" Marlene said to him.

"Keep out of this, McKinnon, or you'll suffer the same fate as her," Mulciber told her menacingly.

Marlene wanted to retort, but Lily pulled her away. "Thanks," she told Regulus who looked taken aback at her politeness, and dragged Marlene away from there.

"That dim-witted arsehole! Thinks he can threaten me, I'll show him..." Marlene kept muttering all the way back to the Gryffindor Table.

"Marlene, what happened?" asked Sirius, before the two even took their seats.

"We were just asking Reggie if he'd seen Snape, and that arse-face Scabior called Lily the m-word!" she said in a low voice and everyone around them gasped.

"What!" said Remus and James at the same time.

"It's my fault for going there!" said Lily, trying to calm everyone down.

"But that's not on," said James.

"LEAVE IT!" she yelled, and they all instantly shut up.

Marlene felt quite uneasy. _What had Mulciber meant when he had said, 'You'll suffer the same fate as her'? Were they planning something?_ _  
_She automatically looked at Sirius, who was looking back at her gravely. She hung back as her friends walked up the stairs to Defence Against the Dark Arts, and Sirius caught up to her.

"What is it?" he asked her, and she told him what Mulciber had said.

"It certainly looks like they're planning something, right?" she said.

"You don't think they're joining Voldemort, do you?" asked Sirius, and they looked at each other darkly.

"I have no idea, Sirius," she replied. "It'll be your job to find out over the summer."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" he asked her, nettled.

"No need to get all snooty with me, Siri. Your house is a hub of Dark Arts, and even you can't deny it," she said crudely, as the others caught up to him. James put a hand on his shoulder.

Marlene looked warily at the other three. "Sorry if I sounded harsh, but it's the truth," she said, in a gentler tone.

"What are we going to do with this information, even if we do find out?" he asked her.

"I don't know... tell Dumbledore?" she said, and Sirius stared at her.

"Is Dumbledore fighting? What do you know about this?" James asked her.

"I'm not sure, we've only heard whispers from Prefects," she said and the Marauders exchanged looks.

"But what I do know, is that little Reggie is no longer little. He's perfected the Black family sneer," she said, grinning naughtily, as they entered the classroom.

Remus laughed. "There's a name for it?"

"There's no such thing, you dolt!" Sirius said, shoving her, and she laughed.

"Of course, there's not a Black who doesn't know the sneer," she replied.

"I agree with you, McKinnon! And it's terrifying," Remus said. Marlene gave him a high-five and Sirius rolled his eyes.


	18. Bulgarian Roses

There were three imps in a cage in front of them. As Professor Kettleburn started lecturing them on the importance of keeping the imps well-fed, Sirius moved to stand beside Remus.

"Moony," he whispered, and the whole class suddenly exclaimed, there were screams uttered and swear words said.

"What happened?!" he asked Remus, standing on the tips of his toes to look.

"The brown coloured imp almost bit Kettleburn's hand!" said Remus, leaning towards him. He was so close that Sirius could smell the chocolate in his breath again, and his heart rate quickened.

"Remus, when did you even eat chocolate?" he asked, chuckling, and didn't like it when Remus moved away.

"Mind your own business," Remus told him. But then he grinned. "I ate it secretly in Charms, okay?"

Sirius nodded and looked away. _Oh Merlin, I need to get over him. Maybe I need to ask someone out..._

Kettleburn told the students to form groups to study the imps, and when the Marauders' turn came, they walked up to the cage. The Professor took out an imp from a cage and held it out for them to hold. Sirius took the imp and held it as the professor explained to them how the imp conjures it's magic using its hands.

"What a cute imp you are," Sirius said to the extremely ugly creature in his arms and went as far as kissing it on its head. Kettleburn and Marlene laughed, but the Marauders and the nearby students made noises of disgust.

"What is wrong with you, Sirius?" said James, but Sirius just grinned.

"That's just weird, mate," said Remus, and Sirius had been banking on that.

"Why? Are you jealous, Moony?" he asked him, grinning slyly.

"Huh?" said Remus, confused.

"Are you jealous?" Sirius repeated. "Would you rather I kissed you instead?" he asked, setting the imp down and leaning in to put his arms around Remus. Remus yelped and pushed him away, and everyone laughed.

Sirius blinked. _What am I doing? This is the opposite of asking someone else out!_

"Mr. Black, I think it's time you got a girlfriend," the professor suggested.

"Yeah, Sirius," said James, laughing as they made space for the next group. "Moony, I don't think it's safe for you in the dorm anymore."

"This was an eventuality. Your friendship was always bordering on homoerotic," Marlene told them and everyone laughed again.

Lily especially found this funny. "Poor Remus," she said.

"That's fine, Lily," Remus told her. "I don't mind a bit of snogging, as long as it's not right after he kissed an imp!"

They laughed again. The girls shared glances, taken by surprise. Quirky Remus didn't often make his presence known outside the Marauders.

Sirius was as astonished as the girls were, although he laughed along with everybody. _Did Remus just flirt back?_

"But that's not a bad idea, what Kettleburn suggested though, Siri," said Marlene, as she joined the Marauders on their way back to the castle.

"About feeding the imps at the same time every day?" he asked her, knowing full well what she meant.

"About you getting a girlfriend, you diseased doxy!" she told him loudly, kicking him in the leg.

"Ow!" he yelped. "Well, who do you suggest?" he asked, looking around at all of them.

"I suggest Marlene," said James, also earning himself a kick from Marlene.

"Okay okay! That's a no, then! Who else?" he asked her.

"Carla Widdershins," said Peter.

"Who's that?" asked Marlene.

"Ravenclaw fifth year. She loves Sirius," James replied, Remus and Peter laughed.

"I don't even know who that is," said Sirius.

"Don't you remember all the no-melt ice cream you enjoyed for Valentine's Day last year?" asked Peter.

"Oh, that girl…" said Sirius, pretending to consider her. "Not interested."

"Eglantine Bulstrode," said Remus, grinning, and James, Peter and Marlene fell about, guffawing.

"Thanks Remus, but no," Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Oh Siri, that would make your mother _very_ happy!" Marlene said, and the other Marauders laughed again.

"I'm planning on shocking her, not making her happy," said Sirius, annoyed that his plan had backfired like this.  
 _Time to prank Kettleburn, the busybody._

It was pitch dark, but the Marauders couldn't risk getting caught. So they left their wands unlit as they made their way from the professor's stables, carrying a large cage full of snoozing pixies back to the front doors. Remus was waiting just beyond the doors, to unlock them.

"Be quiet, Peter, you'll wake them," scolded James, and Peter promptly shut his mouth. He'd been squeaking like a rodent out of excitement for the last half hour.

"This is going to be hilarious," said Sirius, excitedly.

Remus sat patiently waiting under the invisibility cloak with the Map in his hands. He observed the Map. Up in Gryffindor tower, it looked like a group of second years were playing tag. Alice and Frank were sitting on an armchair by the fire. He flipped the pages and saw Dumbledore, in his study, pacing. _He does that a lot._  
He saw the dot labelled Minerva McGonagall move uncommonly fast down the Transfiguration corridor. _She must be in her animagus form.  
_ He chuckled as he visualised a cat with spectacle markings sprinting down the corridor.  
At last, he saw the three dots of his friends approach the castle. He cautiously got to his feet and opened one of the doors.

"Thanks, Moony," whispered James, walking in first, followed by an overexcited Peter and Sirius. He quickly covered them with the cloak. It was very difficult to stay hidden under the cloak, while carrying a large cage, _and_ keeping an eye on the Map. So, James offered to come out of the cloak and keep an eye on the Map. Peter got out too and walked with him.

Sirius and Remus grinned at each other as they carried the cage together.

"So, why'd you want to prank Kettleburn, all of a sudden?" Remus asked him. And as they passed under a large bracket, the torch flared, revealing Sirius's flushed face.

"Isn't it obvious? It's been quite rough, and it's all his fault, he went and made that damn comment," said Sirius, looking away.

"Right," said Remus.

It hadn't been rough in the literal sense of the word, but the comment the professor had made about Sirius' love life, or its lack thereof, had spread around the school. Sirius Black was officially single, and everyone just assumed it was an open invitation for them to make a move. Members from Sirius' 'fan club' cornered them everywhere with gifts, invitations to Hogsmeade, and some even directly professing their undying love for him. It had been mortifying for Sirius, but the other Marauders laughed at him.

"Dunno what you're complaining about myself, Sirius," Peter had said, earlier that day. "I'd have loved getting all these gifts."

And all the attention, Sirius had thought, sniffing the basket of Bulgarian roses he'd received. He liked the roses, they reminded him of the perfume his beloved cousin Andromeda always had on. But on the whole, he didn't much like the spectacle, he wished they would leave him alone. His classmates were continuously making fun of him.

"Having a girlfriend is the best thing that happened to me," Frank had told him sagely, putting his arm around Alice. "What are you so afraid of?" Alice smiled lovingly at Frank.

James had busied himself with eating some Turkish Delights that Konomi Kobayashi had sent Sirius. Remus hadn't touched those. He hated Turkish Delights.

 _Well, none of them are blokes, are they?_ "Well, none of them are Alice, are they?" Sirius said lamely.

" _What?_ " asked Frank, looking confused.

"What he means is, none of them know him personally," Remus said, and Sirius nodded quickly.

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

"Yeah, that's fair," Alice had said, nodding.

"So, you're looking for love, not just a date," Frank said, grinning, making Sirius blush a little. Everyone sniggered at him.

"I'm not looking or anything," he mumbled in vain.

Remus disapproved of the girls' advances. But he was not sure why he'd disapproved of them. Remus had told himself that it was because they didn't know him personally.  
 _They really don't know anything about Sirius, other than the fact that he is ultra-handsome. It is all very shallow._

Back to the present, The Marauders entered Kettleburn's office noiselessly and walked over to the door to his private quarters. James and Sirius placed the cage just inside the door and unlocked the cage door and opened it wide. James prodded a pixie snoozing at the edge of the cage gently with his wand. The pixie opened its tiny mouth and yawned. That would be enough. Then they quickly shut the door of the room and sat under the invisibility cloak and waited with bated breath.

Suddenly they heard wings buzzing and zipping around, and tiny pixie shrieks and squeals. Then there was a loud crash like a plate breaking, and they heard the professor wake up. "What the-" he said and there were some footfalls.

Then it was chaos. Things were crashing, breaking, and they heard Kettleburn running around, trying to control them. The Marauders huddled under the cloak, shaking with silent laughter. They were in such close proximity that as Remus inhaled, he could smell the bouquet of his roommates' tangy aromas, intensified by their getting wet in the drizzle outside. Some of Sirius' hair got in his face and Remus realised that his scent was easily the most attractive thing about him. _Those girls don't know that._  
His scent was amazing. It was so addictive. It was like a fiesta on his olfactory senses. If his scent were a food, Remus would eat every last bite. If it were a drink, he'd drink every last drop of it. But it belonged to a person though, so what could he do?

"Hey, that's my watch, don't you dare-" They heard the professor yell.

A loud thud.

" _That's my wand!_ " Loud footfalls again and then the sound of fabric ripping.

Then an agonising scream, "AAAAAARGH!"

The Marauders looked at each other in horror. Remus was just about to leave the cloak and check on the professor, when Professor Slughorn came running in, followed by the Head girl. The Marauders didn't wait, they swiftly made their way back to their dorm room.

"I hope he's alright!" said Remus, as they all sat on Peter's bed.

"Eh, I'm sure he's fine. A stray one must've just bitten him or something," said Peter, sniggering.

"But his scream was… the bite must've been bad," said James.

Then Sirius slowly grinned. "Oh Merlin, what if he'd been bitten on his dick?" The others winced and grimaced.

"That sounds really awful," said Remus. "I feel terrible now, Sirius, this wasn't one of our best ideas."

"Yeah, we can happily list it under the heading, 'failed ideas'," said Peter, and Sirius scowled.

"Well, maybe it wasn't the best idea cos you didn't come up with it, Remus," said James, ruffling his hair, and Remus smirked, despite himself.

"It's true," said Sirius. "You do have the best ideas for pranks."

Remus looked around at them and grinned. "I don't always have the best ideas... remember that India rubber ball-"

"We do not speak of it in this dorm, Moony!" said James, pretending to be traumatised, as Sirius chuckled.

"That was definitely the _worst_ mistake of your life, Remus," agreed Peter.

"Oh, stop being such twats," said Sirius.

"What _was_ I thinking?" said Remus, looking at Sirius fearfully. Sirius grinned back.

For a few minutes, the four Marauders reminisced about Remus' worst mistake. It had been to give Sirius an India rubber ball as a Christmas present in their second year. Sirius had become completely obsessed with it, he would continually bounce it everywhere. In the dorm, in classes, in the shower, _everywhere_. One day, right before their first exam was due to start, he bounced it against Remus's back. In the end, the ball had been thrown out of an open window by a frustrated Remus and that ended Sirius's tryst with the muggle ball.

The next morning, Professor McGonagall informed them all in her class, that Care of Magical Creatures classes were cancelled for the rest of the week as Professor Kettleburn was in recovery. Then she told them about how Kettleburn had _apparently_ forgotten to take the Pixies back to the stables after classes, and they'd somehow gotten out and bitten his entire middle finger off.

"Oh Merlin! Now he has only seven and a half fingers out of ten!" yelped Pratap Patil.

Professor McGonagall nodded gravely.

Remus was horrified, he glanced at the other three, but it looked like they were avoiding his eyes.

"Well, good thing it was not life-threatening, yeah?" James whispered guiltily as they walked back to the dorm.

"But it is still bad, I can't imagine how it must be like to lose a digit," said Remus.

"At least it wasn't his dick!" said Sirius. He and Peter chortled.

Remus frowned at them. "Can't you two take anything seriously?" Sirius grinned at the wording.


	19. Ceylon Tea

Eaten with guilt, Remus convinced the others to go and see the professor before leaving on the last day.

"We're going to be late," said Peter tensely, as they walked as fast as they could to Kettleburn's quarters. Not to confess of course, but just to offer their concern and support, and maybe also inwardly apologise.

"Maybe it's because you lumber about instead of walk," Sirius told him scathingly.

"I do not lumber!" said Peter, catching up to them.

The professor was in an unexpectedly good mood when they filed into his office. "Welcome my boys, welcome!" he said joyfully, and pointed to a platter of brownies. "Help yourselves. I got one of the house elves to bring up some brownies for students when they came to see me… and I must say, a lot of you have visited me, I'm very honoured and happy."

The Marauders took a brownie each and murmured their condolences. "We were really sorry to hear about what happened to you, professor," said James sincerely.

"Yes, and we absolutely had no idea the pixies were still in your office," said Peter and James had to stand on his toe to shut him up.

But the professor jovially waved it off. "It seems the news of my accident spread to the press, somehow," he told them happily. "They came to interview me yesterday afternoon, they're doing a piece on me!"

"That is excellent, Sir," said James, and shared looks with Sirius. They knew exactly how the press must have found out. The two of them had been subjected to twenty minutes of Slughorn boasting about his connections with Fome Lombardi, journalist at the _Daily Prophet_. Sirius had called Slughorn's boasting a form of low-grade slow torture.

"You completely deserve it, Sir," said Remus politely.

"Oh, thank you, lads. And there's talk of a book deal too, they're thinking of asking me to write a memoir about my adventures over the course of my research into Magizoology," he continued conspiratorially.

"That sounds great, Sir!" said the Marauders.

They left his office, feeling marginally better about themselves. As soon as they turned the corner, James yanked the back of Peter's robes, and he squealed.

"Are you _dead_ from the neck up, Peter?" asked James, furious. Peter looked acutely guilty. "We're lucky he was in such a good mood, otherwise we bloody well would've been caught!"

"It was literally a confession!" said Remus, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think!" he whimpered.

"We'll miss the carriages!" reminded Sirius, and the others jumped and ran down to the Entrance hall. On the way down though, he wondered why they had to hurry anyway. _I wonder what would happen if we actually missed the carriages? What if we missed the train? What if we just stayed back without letting anyone know? Oh, Godric, can I please stay back without anyone knowing?_

Earlier that week, Sirius had stood outside Professor McGonagall's office for fifteen minutes, wanting to ask her if he could stay at Hogwarts over the summer. But, in the end, he had chickened out and run away.  
Sirius sighed as he found him sitting in the window seat of a compartment in the train which would take him back to London. Back to Grimmauld Place. Where all the pureblood nonsense would begin again… where his mother was waiting to punish him… where his brother would ignore him… _Nooo._  
He looked at James, who was reading a chocolate frog card, Remus, who was eating the chocolate frog, and Peter, who was pulling out more chocolate frogs from inside his rucksack. He wouldn't get to see them for two whole months. His friends. His lifeblood.

"At least he didn't tell him that it wasn't us who had spread that rumour about Kettleburn shagging a hag behind the Hog's head… or was it a bicorn?" Remus said, sitting down opposite to him.

"Hag," confirmed James.

"That wasn't us! That was the Prewett twins!" said Peter.

"Oh yeah… but that was hilarious!" said Remus, chuckling.

"Moony does have a weird sense of humour," said Peter to James and Sirius, and Remus turned away from them, mortified. _Why am I like this?_

Sirius shrugged. "Well, at least some good came out of all this," he said, noticing Remus' expression.

"That does not give you leave to do whatever you want without worrying about the consequences! We got lucky this time!" warned Remus.

"Oh yeah, Moony. You know me, I'll reflect and mull things over, next time," said Sirius sarcastically, and Remus kicked him in the shin.

"Ouch, Moony! That hurt," Sirius said, and then he saw Hogwarts get further and further away from him until he could only see trees zipping by. He sighed morosely.

"Aw, Sirius," said James. "Come to Sri Lanka with me."

"Sri Lanka?!" exclaimed Peter.

"Yeah, Peter. I told you last week," said James. "We're going to Sri Lanka to arrange my aunt's funeral."

"Oh yeah, I remember now. What was your aunt's name?" asked Peter.

"Eugenia Silva."

"Silva? I thought your mum's family is Sri Lankan?" he asked naively.

"Yes, Peter, they are. But they had a Portuguese ancestor," James explained.

"So, they're not Sinhalese?"

"They are. They're just Christians, not Hindus."

"Right."

"How will I write to you if you're all the way in Sri Lanka?" asked Sirius, disappointed.

"Well, here's the address," said James, giving him a slip of parchment. Sirius took it, but he still looked melancholic.

"Sirius, you never write to me anyway," said James.

" _We'll_ write to you, Sirius!" said Peter happily.

"No!" Sirius said quickly.

"Why do you always say that?" asked James. They had always wondered what the problem was, but now Remus thought he knew the answer.

"Your mother reads your post, doesn't she?"

Sirius glared at him. _That damn letter._ "You think you know my family, Moony?"

"Well, does she?" James demanded to know.

Sirius didn't reply. He just stared angrily out of the window.

"Sirius, there's no shame in admitting-"

"Yes! She does. Happy now?" said Sirius. Peter's jaw dropped.

"No, we're not happy. We just know now, why you tell us not to write back," said James.

"But why would she do that? Doesn't she trust you?" asked Peter.

The real reason she read his post was to find out if he was friends with any non-purebloods. But it felt odd to tell them that, since both Peter and Remus were half-bloods.

"But I want you to write back, I- I want to know what you lads get up to over the holidays, I want to come to your house like Peter does every year!" he said, looking at James. "I want to eat those famous pancakes your mum makes, Moony," he said to Remus.

Remus looked down immediately. "Crempogs," he muttered, adjusting the sleeve of his jumper.

"Right… those," he said.

"Tell me what will happen if my parents came 'round to your house and asked permission for you to come over to mine for a few days?" asked James. He felt really bad for Sirius.

"Are you out of your senses?" asked Sirius.

"Why? Will they use a cane on you or something?" asked Peter, now a little scared.

"They don't need canes to hurt him," said Remus. Sirius looked at him angrily. "Although-"

"Remus, shut up!" said Sirius. Remus fell silent and gazed out of the window.

"What is he talking about, Sirius?" asked James seriously.

"Just that stupid letter from my mother that he read," said Sirius, and James raised his eyebrows questioningly. Sirius sighed. "She just yelled at me for getting detention."

Remus glanced at Sirius. Sirius didn't meet his eyes. _That's not true. She used words to torture you. She hates you. Don't you know that? That's not normal. That's wrong.  
_ Words from the letter came back to Remus and stabbed at him, ' _shame of my flesh... wait till you get home, you'll find out exactly why you shouldn't break rules...' Sirius_ _was definitely going to get punished. But what was he going to be subjected to?_

Remus bade the other Marauders goodbye and looked around the platform and spotted his mother amongst the crowd. She hadn't spotted him yet, and he could see her eyes searching eagerly for him. He waved to her and she smiled happily. He walked over to her and she hugged him.

"You grew even taller, Remus!" she said.

"How are you, mum?" he asked.

"I'm doing excellent, now that you're here," she replied. "Got your trunk and everything?" Remus nodded. "Great, let's go, then."

Remus turned around and saw Sirius talking to a man in dark green robes. It was either his father or his Uncle Cygnus. Then the man walked through the barrier swiftly, followed by Regulus.

Sirius instinctively turned and met Remus' worried gaze. 'It's okay,' he mouthed and disappeared through the barrier.

Later that week, Remus sighed as he looked around his room, savouring the last solitary moments before his cousins arrived. _Why, oh why do I have to share with those ogres?_  
When he's at school, he always thinks that his friends, the Marauders, were sometimes the most annoying people in the world. But no. They were nothing compared to his muggle cousins, Bran and Cledwyn Howell - both studying medicine at university, and both incredulously egotistic. They thought they were superior to everyone just because they were studying medicine, and they were incredibly judgemental. They constantly made fun of him for not speaking Welsh properly, for not knowing something, for acting his age, for walking, for talking…! And since their family was muggle, he couldn't say or do anything.

Cledwyn laughed as he cut his chicken at dinner. "Remus, I can't believe you don't know how electron transport works," he said. "You must have studied it this year, right? Didn't you just finish Year 10?"

"Yeah, I did…" said Remus, unconsciously gripping the stainless-steel cup too hard and denting it. _Why don't I show you some of the hexes I learnt?_  
Remus really hated the tedium of muggle living. He didn't think he could ever be happy with a muggle job or a muggle wife. He needed magic in his life. He missed doing magic. Changing colours of objects at the drop of a hat, making water appear out of nowhere, he missed summoning things most of all. _Who on earth has the patience to walk over to things anymore?_

"More coffee, Cledwyn?" said his mother, nervously glancing at the cup, while Lyall took it out of Remus' hand without anyone noticing.

Remus felt a little guilty for denting the cup. "Sorry about that, mum," he said as he helped her clear the table after dinner.

"Don't worry about it, love," she said and smiled.

Remus thought about how lucky he was to have her as his mother. She really loved him a lot, she really understood him. Best of all, she always let him know that being himself was not a bad thing. It always gave him the confidence he needed to face the world. _Quite opposite to Sirius' mother. Poor Sirius. I wonder what he's doing, this very instant. I hope he's alright._

Martha Pettigrew had started working in the new library for underprivileged muggle children in town. Peter knew it was for the money obviously, but also to keep herself busy. He actually thought it was a rather good idea, because he could be on his own for the time she was out at least. But he often got bored during that time. One day, he decided to explore their attic. He had expected that his mother had thrown away all of his father's things, but apparently she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was so dusty there, that it looked like no one had been up there in years. Peter found himself going through his father's old book collection. _I didn't even know these were here._  
Then he spotted a black coloured book, it looked like one of those books one might find in the Restricted section of the library, back in Hogwarts. He lit his wand to read the title. It simply read _Disenchantment_ , _by Frederik Wagner._ He opened it and read the synopsis.  
 _Translated from German in 1956. Through this book, the author works to dispel the misconceptions against the Dark Arts by trying to explain why the wizarding community are so vehemently against the Dark Arts, and that when used appropriately, why Dark Magic is equal to, and on occasion, better than Pure Magic._

Peter knew immediately that his mother had no idea these books were sitting up here in that box, otherwise she would have gotten rid of them in a heartbeat. _Or burnt them, so no one could read it._  
He also knew what the Marauders would say if he told them he had read a book trying to justify the use of Dark Arts. He could literally see the conversation playing out in his head.  
James would say something along the lines of, "Peter, you shouldn't have read it! How could you even consider reading such a book?! The Dark Arts are bad!"  
Active discouragement without proper reasoning was James' style.  
Sirius would probably tell him all about his family and how they ruined their lives by dabbling in Dark Arts.  
But Remus... Remus was always so unpredictable.  
 _What would his reaction be? Would it really be the worst thing in the world to gain a little perspective? Nah, Remus would most definitely be disappointed in me._  
Peter decided he will simply forget to mention it. _Yeah, I won't tell them. No harm in just reading a book, right?_  
When he turned the page, the name Iola Black jumped out a him. _Of course Sirius' family would be mentioned in a book of Dark Arts._  
He remembered Marlene calling the Black household a hub of Dark Arts. _I wonder if Sirius is forced to use Dark Magic at home?  
_ He remembered some of the things Sirius had told him about his family. _Do they abuse him at home? Perhaps they do, and we're just in denial..._ _Just because he won't tell us anything, doesn't mean it doesn't happen, right?_

Halfway across the globe, the Potters stood in the lounge of the tiny house in Jaffna, Sri Lanka."Why would you do this?!" shouted Euphemia Potter at the lawyer.

"Madam, we thought you weren't going to come-" Mr. Jayawardene tried to say.

"Why wouldn't I come to my own sister's funeral?!" she asked. Mr. Jayawardene fiddled with his collar, sweating nervously.

"We made a telephone call two days ago, informing you that we would be attending," said Monty.

"I was not informed, Mr. Potter, I do apologise," he said.

"And she asked to be cremated, not buried!" said Mia, rubbing her forehead.

"Calm down, Mia, there is nothing we can do now," said Monty and made her sit down on the dewan. James quickly made her a cup of tea and handed it to her.

"Thank you, love," she said and took a sip. "James, this tea is divine."

"Yes, Mrs. Potter, it is Ceylon tea, after all," said Mr. Jayawardene in an oily manner. The three Potters looked up at him.

"I think you should go now," James told him, with a peremptory gesture.

"James, we mustn't be so terse," said Monty.

But the lawyer seemed to decide it was a good idea, he meekly handed over the documents and left.

"I cannot believe they went ahead without us," said Monty. James sat down in front of them with a huff.

"James, honey, I don't want to be one of those fussy mothers, but you should go and have a shower. You stink."

James and Monty laughed. "Merlin, mum! No offence taken!" he said and walked up the stairs to the bathroom of the tiny house. It was so hot that afternoon, that even the faucets and knobs were hot to touch. He frowned as he stepped under the warm shower water. It was warm even in its coldest setting.  
 _Well, it's summer at the equator after all, I guess this is how it is in the tropics. Pity I can't do magic outside of school._  
As he shampooed his black hair, he wondered what the weather was like, back in England. Especially in a little town called London. _What is that other black-haired troublemaker up to, and why isn't he writing to me?_  
He had wondered so many times about the letter Sirius' mother had written. _What was in that damn letter that made Remus so worried about Sirius?_ _  
_He also remembered Peter asking if they used the cane on him. _Nah, that can't be true, right? Why would anyone want to use a cane on Sirius?_  
James wanted to think that Peter and Remus were being paranoid about Sirius being abused at home, because he couldn't get his mind around it. It didn't make sense. _Yes, Sirius is naughty and has the utmost disregard for rules. If he was being punished at home for breaking the rules or being disobedient, what's the big deal? I'm punished all the time at home for breaking rules. That doesn't mean he's being abused, does it? Parents love their children, they only want to teach their children about discipline and other things. That doesn't mean they'd use a cane to teach him... would they?  
_ He couldn't fully grasp the possibility of Sirius being abused, because _he_ loved Sirius so much. Since the day they'd met, Sirius was his best friend, and he couldn't find a single fault in Sirius that might bring someone to hurt him in that manner.  
 _Perhaps I'm missing something. As soon as we go back for the new term, I'm gonna ask Remus what that letter actually said._

* * *

 **Author's note: James can't think along the lines of hate, like Peter or Remus can, because he has personally never experienced hate. This is what happens to most people in our world who are in the position of privilege. Just because they've never experienced racism, sexism or abuse, they just assume it doesn't exist, or that it is being overplayed. It is really not.**  
 **Like James, who is willing to find out more, and do everything he can to support his friend, we also need to be more compassionate and support them. Or in the very least, give them the benefit of doubt.**


	20. Dragonhide Boots

It was around half past seven in the evening, and the Garden party in the Black Country Estate was coming to an end. The Night queen flowers in the Jasmine garden were just beginning to bloom, and their celestial perfume filled the balmy summer air.

"We had a lovely time, thank you for having us," said Jasper Rowle, putting an arm around his wife's waist.

"It was our pleasure," said Cygnus Black politely.

"Goodnight, Druella," said Claudine Rowle, touching her elbow lightly.

"Goodnight," Druella replied, her strain apparent through her smile. The Rowles exchanged a glance and disapperated with a mild pop. Druella let out an exhausted sigh and clasped her palms together.

"Darling?" said Cygnus, holding out his arm for her and Druella smiled.

"Thank you, my love," she said and took her husband's arm and gently leaned against him as they walked back from the Jasmine garden to the main house.

Walburga Black pushed back the curtains a sliver with an unusually long black fingernail, and watched the couple from the study as they slowly made their way up the elegant cobblestone path.  
"She looks like she has leeches under her eyes, that's how dark her eye bags are, mother," she commented, and Irma nearly spit out her mead. Her rasping laughter resounded around the giant room eerily. In rare occasions such as these, she could laugh openly because the men weren't around.  
"Its true, she's such a frail little thing, even when he married her and brought her home," Walburga continued, smirking at her own joke.

"I know, my dear," Irma said. She put her legs on the teapoy and sipped from her goblet again.

"Did you know, Anouk Selwyn and her brothers were staying at the same hotel in St. Moritz?" asked Walburga, letting go of the curtains and walking over to the nearest bookshelf.

"Really?"

"Yes. We met them at breakfast on the third day. I keep thinking, if only Cygnus had met Anouk before he had met this runt, he most surely would have married her instead," said Walburga, putting the book back in the wrong shelf.

Irma huffed in indignation. "Why is this the first time I'm hearing of it? You never thought to tell you own mother?" she asked.

"Would there have been any use? He was so smitten."

"Well, at least none of the daughters have inherited the condition," said Irma soothingly.

"I'm not too sure about that, Narcissa looks quite delicate sometimes. I've actually tried to find out, but they don't tell me anything. It's all _very_ discreet!"

Arcturus Black sat at the writing desk in his bedroom. "How dare he… how dare that-" he kept muttering as he furiously scribbled a letter to the Minister for Magic. His owl stared at him with mild concern, but his wife rolled her eyes in exasperation as he accidentally tipped the ink pot over in his haste to dip his quill in it.

The only reason she was still with him was because she had nowhere else to go. Melania's and Arcturus' marriage had been arranged, and when she had entered the Black family as a new bride, she had been very innocent. She had no idea of the Blacks' sinister reputation, or their interest in Dark Arts. It was only after a few years, that things like the murder allegations against Arcturus, and other rumours (which were all probably true) came to light, and she regretted ever agreeing to marry him. But, it was too late by that time. The behaviour of the Blacks hadn't impressed her family at all, and her brother had stopped talking to her a long time ago, and now she was stuck. She had thought about running away many times when she was younger, because anywhere was better than here, but then she'd given birth to her children, and she couldn't leave them. Because of their difference in opinions, her husband had never allowed her to take a big role in raising their children, and Lucretia and Orion had ended up growing into horrible people just like their father. It seemed like Arcturus was _always_ angry about something or the other… always outraged at something. There had never been a single week in her life where Melania had spent peacefully with her husband. _Never!_

Down in the kitchens, the house elves were frantically running around, putting the finishing touches to the dinner. "Go to the root cellar and bring me the cashews _now_!" ordered an ancient elf. The other one disapperated with a rather loud crack and reappeared with a bag of cashews.

"Romy, you are unbelievable! I need roasted ones!" she said vehemently, and Romy disapperated again and was back with the tin of roasted ones.

"Pour them in the bowl- no, not that one, the silver one!" said the old one as she artfully placed sprigs of Angelica leaves on the dinner plates. "Master Orion only like roasted cashews."

"Yes Pookey, I remember next time," said Romy, emptying the tin into the silver bowl.

The aforementioned Orion Black sat in the dining room, conversing with his father-in-law Pollux. He had a goblet containing some grey-green alcohol in his hand. "What did you think about what Khnurn Selwyn was saying about the attempted murder of Dyspeptus Nott? Do you agree with him?" asked Orion.

"He's being as ridiculous as a Blibbering Humdinger! The only witness was a centaur, and relying on the word of a centaur so explicitly is quite unheard of!" shouted Pollux, spraying some of the tobacco he was chewing onto his robes.

"My sentiments exactly!"said Orion, banging the table with his fist. "Centaurs are just lazy brutes, always preening themselves and looking up at the sky and making things up! Utter lunacy!"

"The Wizengamot wasn't so amenable in my day!" said Pollux.

Orion snorted. "They are calling themselves _secular_ and _non-partisan_ , and that has just become an excuse to lower their standards!" he said.

"Preposterous!" exclaimed Pollux. "They are disgracing the name of wizard!"

Sirius Black lounged on a maroon velvet armchair in the Elladora Room, eating a slice of Pastel de Tres Leches. His new dragon-hide boots lay discarded on the floor next to his armchair.  
"These insipid parties," he murmured to himself as he took another bite of the cake. He couldn't wait to get back to school. _Only three days left._  
Viewed from the outside, this little scene could be quite misleading. Poor, spoilt heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black and all of its fortune, bored of all the parties he's had to attend over the summer. When in reality, Sirius Orion Black had spent the last five hours standing in terribly uncomfortable boots, and now his feet were in agony. His toes were _covered_ in blisters. He rolled his eyes as he remembered the conversation he'd had with his father about the shoes, earlier that day.

"Pardon me, father, but these boots are extremely uncomfortable. My feet already hurt-" he was saying when Orion interrupted him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius. These are the latest fashion, and I had them brought over all the way from the Americas, _just_ _for you_ ," he said proudly, and that was that. Emotional blackmail was Orion Black's speciality.

'I never asked for them, father!' Sirius had wanted to shout back. But he didn't dare. He sighed and looked at his palms. They appeared healthy, as if they hadn't been bleeding profusely, only two weeks ago. That was the miracle of _Essence of Dittany_. Sirius had received that punishment for refusing to attend brunch at the Malfoys. _It was worth it._

Regulus Black was sitting in a dark, dusty storage cupboard, nodding off. He hadn't slept properly in four days. Not that anyone seemed to care. His grandmother Irma had commented about how worn out his face looked, unkindly comparing him to a decrepit old goblin she had come across in her travels in Kyrgyzstan, but hadn't bothered to find out why he looked like that. _And Father always pretends he has only one son anyway.  
_ Even the house-elves hadn't bothered to ask him anything, unlike Kreacher back home who took care of every little thing. But he knew the pair were overworked. All he wanted to do was to go back to his little bedroom in Grimmauld Place, where he knew for sure he won't be cooped up in a room with his pestiferous older brother. The older brother with whom he hadn't spoken to in over a year. He could never really sleep properly in his uncle and aunt's house, but this time it was awful. It was because this place always gave Sirius nightmares for some reason. And even though he inwardly sympathised with his brother, because the nightmares sounded truly horrific this time, he still thought it was really tiresome. Because, Sirius seemed get those nightmares everyday now, and he rolled around on the bed so much that he woke Regulus up about three or four times in the night. And once Regulus was awake, he couldn't go back to sleep, no matter how hard he tried.

Suddenly, Sirius heard a faint noise and sat up straight. Two pairs of high heeled shoes were swiftly approaching the room. He looked over at the painting of Elladora Black, she was thankfully snoozing. Sirius hastily ran over to the painting, felt around the top for a secret knob, and pressed it. The painting slid sideways to reveal a dark storage cupboard. He got into it and slid the painting back before the door opened.  
Sirius had discovered this secret storage cupboard along with Regulus when he was six, and over the years, it had been the best hiding place when one needed to escape from the bullying children of stupid guests.  
He suddenly felt a painful kick on his ribs and clamped his hands over his mouth to prevent himself from yelling out. A wand was lit, and Sirius saw the annoyed little face of his brother.

"What?" Sirius mouthed to him.

"Why are you here?" Regulus whispered.

"You don't own this place!" Sirius whispered back.

Regulus gave him a sardonic smile. "Of course. _You're_ the heir."

"I didn't mean it like that," Sirius said vexedly. "You _know_ I didn't."

Regulus made a face that clearly meant, 'sure, you didn't'.

Sirius was about to retort, when they heard the door open and fell silent.

Two young women entered the room. They were dressed in exquisite robes and wore jewels that would probably cost an arm or a kidney for normal people to afford. Not to mention, the two women were breathtakingly beautiful. Bellatrix, the taller of the two, wore her black, curly hair in a neat bun. Her younger sister Narcissa was slightly shorter, and she had long blonde hair, which she wore in an elaborate braid.

"I'm telling you, Cissy, it was _incredible_ to meet him," said Bellatrix, walking over to the window.

Her sister took her seat in the armchair Sirius had just vacated. "Incredible, as in how?" asked Narcissa.

"I mean, he's such a charismatic wizard. He had this intensity about him, an energy flowing through him, you know," said Bellatrix, with a far away look in her eye. "But that wasn't all. It was the way he spoke that convinced me. He is very articulate and very _very_ persuasive."

Inside the secret cupboard, Sirius and Regulus shared a glance. There had never been a man who had impressed Bellatrix this much. Every match that had been brought to her, she had picked apart with relish, and her mother Druella, had been getting impatient. She wanted Bellatrix to marry. So this was kind of a surprise.

Then Narcissa made a sound of disgust. "Whose boots are these?" she asked, and Sirius closed his eyes in frustration. He's forgotten his boots beside the armchair.

"Ugh," said Bellatrix, glancing at the boots. "Probably Regulus' or Sirius'. No propriety, those two."

Regulus shot Sirius a venomous look. He was getting blamed because of Sirius.

"So, what then? One of them is walking around the house with bare feet? That is disgusting," said Narcissa.

"Can't believe _he's_ the heir. " Bellatrix scoffed. And then silence fell for a few moments.

Then Narcissa spoke again. "I've heard that, you know," she said.

"What?" asked Bellatrix, perplexed. "Are people commenting about Sirius' capabilities as the heir?"

"No," her sister answered. "Although, it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep tabs on what people are saying about him at Hogwarts. Grandfather Arcturus was also talking about it last month, especially since he's nearly of age," she said, raising her eyebrows pointedly.

"Hmmm, you mean grandfather wants to know if he's fornicating with mudbloods up in the castle... in some filthy corner..."

The brothers avoided each other's gazes. Of course, Sirius was outraged. It was like he had no rights left. Now he would be reprimanded for having a life at school? _No. I won't let that happen. I don't care how many spies are monitoring me, I'll live my life the way I want. I will bloody well fornicate with muggleborns if I want to._  
But that wasn't what made him angry. It was the way they had talked about him so disrespectfully that did it. This was one of the elements he hated most about this family. No one in the family really had any respect for each other, but it seemed they had the least amount of respect for him. So much for being the heir. _Why was I born in this family again? Fornicating in some filthy corner... what am I? A farm animal?!_

Regulus, on the other hand, had a revelation. For the first time in his life, he thought that maybe it was a good thing, nobody gave a fwooper's arse about him. He imagined someone following him and noting down every move he made and every girl he spoke to. _That is literally as uncomfortable as having centipedes and scorpions crawling all over your body._

Then Bellatrix knitted her eyebrows together in question as she turned to face her sister. "But what did you mean earlier?"

"That I've heard he can be very persuasive… that he… that he will brainwash you with his words… like Grindelwald did," said Narcissa. They were back to talking about this mysterious man.

"That may be, but everything he said actually made sense," Bellatrix replied.

"That's literally what he just did, he brainwashed you," said Narcissa, gesturing with her hands.

"That's not fair, Cissy. I'm not that weak, so as to fall under the spell of some man," Bellatrix replied, folding her hands.

"I wonder what Andy would have to say if she heard you went to meet this man," mumbled Narcissa, and Sirius and Regulus exchanged looks again. When Andromeda had been unceremoniously disinherited for marrying a muggleborn and disgracing the Noble Black family, they had all been forbidden to even speak her name in the household.

Bellatrix gasped. "Cissy, how could you speak of that blood traitor!"

"I'm just being plain," said Narcissa seriously. She got to her feet and walked over to her sister and put her hands on her shoulders. "Look, this man is dangerous, Bella. You know it too."

"He is only dangerous if you're weak, Cissy," said Bella, swatting her sister's hands away. "Besides, all the things he says are in accordance with everything grandfathers Arcturus and Pollux constantly delineate - that there needs to be a movement to clean away all the _filth_ accumulated in the wizarding world over the generations. Except, _he_ has the willpower to actually make things happen, and not just sit around and _pout_ and _drink_ and _complain_."

Narcissa gazed at her sister's face. She knew Bellatrix was anything but weak. But she still had her doubts. "What about his followers, though? I've heard that he makes his followers call him, ' _The Dark Lord,_ '" said Narcissa, and the two brothers in the cupboard exchanged the most shocked of looks yet.

' _Voldemort!"_ mouthed Regulus, and Sirius just stared at his brother, eyes wide, unable to believe what he had just heard.

It was happening, just like Marlene had said. It was _actually_ happening. Sirius had probably always known that this was going to be an eventuality, but he'd spent the summer in stout denial. _The family wouldn't go that far… they wouldn't be willing to kill other human beings just in the name of blood._  
But here was the proof. The undeniable proof that his family was about to get involved with this blood purist called Voldemort, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"He doesn't _make_ them call him that, Cissy," said Bellatrix, shaking her head at her sister. "You just want to call him, 'my lord' when you are in his presence! You'll see, when you meet him…"

And for the fourth time that evening, the brothers exchanged looks, this time fearfully. Sirius put his hand on his forehead. Regulus blinked anxiously back at him for a few moments, until his hand trembled and the wand light switched off, chucking the two boys into total darkness.


	21. Mushroom Soup

With one final blow, the werewolf had succeeded in breaking down the wooden thing. The wooden thing had heavily scratched its neck, making it bleed, but that didn't matter now. Pre-determined by evolution, its predatory instincts were a well-oiled machine, even though it had no experience of the game. And the only thing that mattered to the werewolf right now were _those two_ that had eluded capture. Those two animals he had seen for the first time ever. Those two _prey_.

In the single moment it had glimpsed them before they had disappeared behind the wooden thing, it had decided that they looked like they could have been subdued easily… easily brought down physically. It needed to get to them. It needed to _kill_. To bite into their succulent bodies… to rip their tendons out... to taste their flesh and blood, oh, they had smelled so delectable! Bloodlust _consumed_ it. One of them had smelled sweet and salty… healthy… the other one had smelled slightly rusty... piquant... like its flesh would be more flavoursome and tender.

It sniffed the air and caught their scent again. The air informed it that those two animals had run down this way, hearts beating frantically. It realised that it had spooked them by growling and trying to paw one of the prey, but it didn't regret the move. It already knew that its mere presence would be enough to send the prey into complete panic. It could also smell their fear through the air, and it made its stomach rumble with hunger. Its mouth watered and drool dripped thickly from its massive jaws as it howled in triumph. _Food at long last!_ Then it began its journey down the dark hole as fast as it could, breathing raggedly. Its heavy paws tread the damp soil and it realised how different this ground was compared to the territories it had found itself in, all those times before.

It sniffed the air again, and it smelled a tree and those two, but these scents were mixed up with a number of confusing foreign scents. These faint scents smelled familiar for some reason, but it couldn't put its paw on how it knew them. Maybe through the other one, it decided. The other one that wasn't a wolf. It liked the other one, the other one was gentle and loving. The other one spoke to it sometimes. Taught it new things.

It reached a place where the hole ended and a new hole appeared above, where the night air smelled fresh. It immediately poised itself down onto its haunches and jumped up and tried to crawl out. As it did, it spotted the other two, but also one more. The new one looked chubby and pink. Then it suddenly felt a terrible pain in its brain, as if the sky had fallen on its head. The blow rendered the werewolf blind and deaf and winded. It knew that its head had cracked open.

"Moony! Moony, no!" shouted James, and Minerva and Peter had to hold him back from the tree's branches, as Severus watched in shock.

The wolf It fell back into the hole again and tried to howl out a distress call of pain, even though it didn't really know to whom it was calling. But only a sad whimper came out. After that, everything went dark.

Even before Remus opened his eyes, he knew James and Peter were hovering nearby. He sniffed again, but Sirius' signature _petrichor_ scent was distinctly absent. He opened his eyes with great difficulty and smiled at them.

"Hi Moony, how are you feeling?" James asked him.

"Same as usual," he replied in a gravelly voice, and tried to clear his throat. James poured him a glass of water but he waved it away, feeling too weak to sit up. Then as he raised his head, he felt something heavy on it, and lifted his hand up to touch a thick wad of bandages around his head and left ear. There were some bandages around his collarbone too. He saw the two of them exchange grave looks. "What?" he asked them.

"It's been three days since the full moon," James told him.

Remus frowned. "What!" he asked again.

"Yeah... you were out for three days, Moony," said Peter.

Remus blinked.

Peter told him what he'd missed in lessons, and what else happened in school the past three days.

"Evans asked about you," said James, cheering up immensely. Remus smiled.

"Or rather, she asked McKinnon to ask Sirius to ask after you," said Peter unsmilingly.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked.

"Evans also said that she's been taking notes for you in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, and that you shouldn't worry!" said James brightly.

Remus looked at both of them. _Why are they evading the question?_

"Remus, something's happened," James told him, realising they couldn't postpone the conversation any longer.

"To Sirius?" asked Remus.

"No. Sirius is fine... we just didn't want him here," said Peter, glancing sideways at James. He sounded angry.

"Why? What happened?" Remus asked them, and they exchanged looks again. They were starting to make him nervous.

"Moony, remember how you said a few days ago, that maybe Snape had started following you around again?" James said.

"Yeah, so…?" said Remus. Then he sat up, despite his weakness. "Oh no, he followed me?! He knows about me, doesn't he?!" he exclaimed, he was beginning to panic.

"Yes, but he's not going to tell anyone, Remus! Please just listen to us," said Peter.

"So, remember when you weren't feeling that great in Charms and Flitwick told you to go to the Hospital wing?" said James and Remus nodded.

"After that, Sirius came by to check on you, but apparently, you were sleeping. He ended up being late for Transfiguration and Professor McGonagall asked him to stay back after class. We don't know what they might have discussed, but he was in a really bad mood for the rest of the day. In the evening, he disappeared and when he came back to the Common room, he was so agitated. He told us that he'd gone down to Hagrid's to watch you go down to the Willow, but he'd run into Snape on the way back-"

"What!"

"Snape had seen you go down into the hollow, and he told Sirius that he was going to tell everyone about you being a werewolf. Then…" James fumbled with his words.

"Then what? James, please," said Remus anxiously.

"Sirius asked Snape if he was one hundred percent sure about that, and that made Snape feel like there was something else going on entirely. Then he thought it would be _funny_ to tell Snape that he'd be a fool if he actually didn't go and check if it was true…" He couldn't go on anymore. Remus's jaw dropped.

"Sirius told Snape how to get into the hollow," Peter whispered shakily. Remus stared at them, unable to believe his ears.

"No. No, Sirius wouldn't do that. He _wouldn't_ ," he said to them, but they just looked back at him with despair on their faces. "You're joking right? This is some sort of prank?" he asked hopefully, but no one replied.

"James told me to get McGonagall and he ran down to the Shack-"

"You came to the Shack?!" Remus exclaimed.

"Snape was already stepping into the Shack when I caught up with him. The wolf was about to take a swipe at him when I pulled him out…"

"You scratched James' arm instead," Peter told him, and Remus's eyes widened in shock.

"Peter! This is not the time!" James scolded, but Peter looked unapologetic.

"Where?!" Remus asked, pulling James' arm and pushing the sleeve back to find it wrapped in bandages.

"Oh my God!" Remus said, touching the bandages. "This is going to scar!"

"Remus, I'm fine. Really," James tried to assure him.

"Oh my God!" Remus said again, and covered his mouth with his hands. _It's not a prank!_

"Snape and I ran back to Hogwarts, and the wolf followed us-"

"But what about the enchantments on the door?!" Remus asked.

"I think they broke when Snape unlocked the door using his wand. We'd shut the door, but the wolf rammed against it and broke out."

"Then what happened? I didn't get Snape, did I?"

"No, he's fine. Everyone's fine. No one got hurt except you. The wolf tried to squeeze its way out through the hollow but the tree-" James's eyes filled with tears.

"One of the tree's branches hit you on the head and James thought you'd died," Peter said in a low voice. "McGonagall couldn't do anything except charm the hollow so that the sounds you made didn't reach the castle, and get these two to the Hospital wing. Pomfrey said she found you lying in the passageway, covered in blood. But you were still alive…" Peter finished.

Remus stared at them in disbelief.

"We're so sorry, Moony," said James. He couldn't stand to see the broken-hearted look on his friend's face. It made him resent Sirius even more.

Remus turned away from them shook his head, trying to piece together everything he had heard. _I nearly killed someone…  
_ He took a deep breath, but it felt like there was no oxygen in the air. "I nearly killed someone…" he mumbled, trying to breathe.

"No, it wasn't your fault!" Peter said forcefully.

"I nearly killed Snape! I nearly killed you!" Remus said to James, who was shaking his head.

He tried to breathe properly again and again, but nothing.

"Remus? Remus, are you okay?" asked James. Remus couldn't breathe.

"He's hyperventilating," said Peter, and James ran over to the Matron's office and banged on her door.

"Madam Pomfrey! MADAM POMFREY!" they heard him yell, and a few moments later, she appeared around the partition along with James.

"Remus, can you hear me?" she asked him, rubbing his back. Remus nodded and tried to speak, but he couldn't. His breath was coming in great wheezes.

"Back off, he needs space," she told the other two. "Remus, purse your lips and breathe slowly through them," she told him, cracking the window open. Slowly, he felt his breathing normalise, and James came over to rub his back.

"Remus…" said Peter, but he didn't know what else to say.

 _I nearly killed them...I nearly killed them…_ It kept repeating in Remus' head, there wasn't space for anything else.

"I think you two should go now," he heard Madam Pomfrey tell the other two.

"But he's-"

"You've caused him enough anxiety already!" she said, and it looked like they couldn't argue with her this time. They slowly got to their feet and watched as he lay back down on the bed and covered himself over the head with the duvet.

"Moony, please just.." said Peter and sighed.

"We love you, Moony," James said, patting touching the region where he knew Remus' hand was.

Remus' eyes filled with tears. _It's always Sirius who says that.  
_

Remus spent all of the next day throwing tantrums and refusing meals. When evening arrived, Madam Pomfrey got so fed up that she threatened to owl his parents.

"No! Don't tell my parents, please! My father will pull me out of school!" he begged her.

The Matron sighed. "Remus, I need you to eat this piece of toast so you can take the _Dugo_ potion," she told him sternly.

He took the piece of buttered toast she handed him and took a bite. His eyes filled with tears and he covered his mouth with his hand and sniffled. _Sirius. Sirius did this. But why? Why would he do that?_

"Oh, Remus honey, it's alright. Really, you haven't done anything," she tried to tell him, but it seemed he couldn't stop crying. The plate of toast lay abandoned in his lap.

"I wish the willow had just killed me!" he said, pulling his hair.

"Remus! How can you say that!" Poppy said to him, trying to unclench his fists. He pushed the plate of toast away and lay down and covered himself over his head with the duvet.

It was eleven at night. Remus smelled mushroom as he returned from the loo. There on his bedside table was a steaming bowl of mushroom soup. He looked around and saw Dumbledore with his hands clasped behind his back, gazing out of the window.

"Death isn't the answer, Remus," he said. "If it was, why would there be so many people still alive? We have to face our problems."

"I don't see the point of facing problems that can't be solved," Remus said, and Dumbledore turned around.

"But have you thought about what it will do to the people who love you?" he asked.

"An annoying but accurate deterrent," agreed Remus. "But in my case, the only one… and a weak one at that. To be honest, on most days I feel like they'd be better off without all this mess in their lives."

Dumbledore smiled. "Well, it's not up to _you_ to decide whether or not they'd be better off, is it?" he asked, and Remus stared at him in revelation. "It's easy to die, but you need to ask yourself, Remus. Do you really want to die, or do you just want to stop feeling this way?"

Remus didn't answer, but Dumbledore nodded, guessing his answer. "Don't you see?" he continued. "This, right here, _this_ is your problem... not your lycanthropy. This is your challenge. Moving on from this incident. Do you think it's easy for Mr. Potter or Mr. Snape to move on from this? But still, they're trying. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"For themselves. Because they matter, as people. So do you, Remus. You matter. And as a duty to yourself, you must overcome this challenge."

Remus knew the headmaster was right.

Dumbledore gestured at the bowl of soup. "Mr. Pettigrew has kindly informed me that your favourite soup is mushroom," he said, and Remus nodded and gave him a small smile.

The next day, the rest of his bandages came off. Madam Pomfrey examined his head and smiled. "It looks perfectly healed, if I say so myself," she said.

"Thank you," he said to her.

"I'm glad I could help," she replied.

When he got discharged, James and Peter were waiting for him. They beamed at him when he walked out of the double doors.

It was Sirius' turn to be completely ostracised by the Marauders this time. They were furious with him. Both Marlene and Lily tried to ask their respective friends about what had happened, but to no avail. The gossip train was in motion again as always, but this time, people weren't talking about the Marauders' awesome pranks or the number of detentions they had to serve. When Remus and Sirius had had that big fight the year before, everyone had just assumed that Remus was done with the Marauders' nonsense. But now, they wondered what Sirius had done to get kicked out of the Marauders, and they didn't even bother keeping their speculations quiet even when he was nearby. There were many theories floating around, ranging from him using Dark Magic on one of them - 'Once a Black, always a Black,' Sirius heard someone say as he walked past a group of sixth year Ravenclaws - or that he'd joined Voldemort. It tortured him every time he heard something like that, because it was true about his family - they _were_ joining him.

Many Slytherins were happy to hear this particular rumour. They laughed at him, every chance they got. 'Blood will out, Sirius Black,' they called out to him. Severus in particular, was delighted to have personally brought about the end of the Marauders. As much as he hated all of them, he genuinely believed that Sirius had tried to kill him, and he told his cronies multiple times that Black totally deserved the ostracisation.

"Even your half-breed friend knows better than to talk to someone like you," he would whisper to Sirius scornfully whenever he got the chance.

There had been days, back when he had been younger, when Sirius' mother had punished him so terribly, he'd wished that his life was over. But at that time, he'd never known how great life could be, it's potential... Now that he'd experienced the good side of life, now that he'd known what true happiness felt like, he didn't think he could ever forgive himself for ruining it with his own two hands.


	22. Mint Humbug

A few days after Remus returned to the dorm, Sirius tried to apologise. "Remus?" he said, quietly approaching him in the Common room. James and Peter looked up anxiously, so did a few others around them. James frantically shook his head at him.

Remus closed his eyes, as if closing them would've blocked out Sirius' addictive scent. _No. I'm not gonna be swayed.  
_ "Get. Lost," he replied.

"I-" Sirius started to say, but he had to duck to avoid the heavy _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ flying at his face.

After three days, he tried to try again. He spotted the Marauders sitting at a table in the Common room again, and started to walk towards them. But somehow, Remus had guessed what he was about to do, and sent a trip jinx his way.

"Ow," moaned Sirius, falling flat on his face. People around him chuckled, but he didn't care. He knew where the jinx had come from. He got to his feet and looked at Remus. Remus was looking back at him, as if daring him to approach him again. _If I do, he'll probably jinx me again._  
So Sirius turned around and went back up to the dormitories.

The truth had shouted itself hoarse, that Remus Lupin didn't want anything to do with him anymore. He couldn't deny it. But his heart wouldn't listen. He missed Remus. And of course the other two, too, especially James. They weren't talking to him either. So he tried _again_ , a week later. He had overheard Alice tell Frank that Lily had her Prefect rounds that day. Which meant that Remus didn't have rounds. Which meant Remus would mostly likely be heading to the library after dinner. So, he waited outside the library that evening, and cornered him as soon as he arrived. "Remus," he said quickly.

"What? What could you possibly say to make me forgive you?" Remus said.

That was a little unexpected for Sirius, because he had expected Remus not to acknowledge him or maybe jinx him again. "Nothing. I don't expect you to forgive me for this. Godric knows I don't deserve forgiveness. But…"

"But what?"

"I miss you!"

"I-" Remus stopped himself. He'd nearly told Sirius he missed him too. _No, I mustn't. This is important, this is my life, damn it! I can't, I won't!  
_ "You realise I could have killed him?!" Remus yelled. " _Killed him_! He'd be dead. Gone." Then he lowered his voice significantly. "And I would have been put down just like Macnair wants!"

Sirius' eyes welled up in tears.

"Didn't you think about that when you provoked him? Didn't you?! _I trusted you!_ " Remus continued. "And even if you didn't give a fwooper's arse about me... what about James? He _came_ to the shack! What would you have done if I had _killed_ him, huh?"

Sirius couldn't say anything. He knew he deserved everything he was getting. And then, Remus turned around and ran back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Remus w-" but he didn't stop. "Wait..." said Sirius to the empty corridor.

"Thank you, dear," said Minerva, taking a mint humbug from the bowl Professor Sinistra held out for her. Then she looked up and spotted Sirius Black. She thought he looked decidedly crestfallen as he made his way to the Gryffindor table and sat down beside some third years, and she sighed to herself. She had already made him spend a whole week in detention, helping Professor Sprout in the greenhouses. And during those detentions, Pomona had informed her that he had remained in a kind of stupor, robotically following orders. There were no pranks being played, no trouble in classes and no detentions to hand out to the other Marauders either. In the last staff meeting, the other teachers had joyfully commented on how peaceful every class was now. But she just realised that she would rather deal with all that trouble, than see that look appear on that face again.

Up in the Common room, Mary and Alice grinned at each other as they spotted James making his way over to them.  
"Hi Evans," said James, with a goofy smile plastered across his face.

Lily took a deep breath and exhaled. "What is it, Potter?" she asked, not looking up from the Charms essay she was writing. Her friends looked up interestedly at him. Peter and Remus looked over from their table with a little trepidation.

"Please please go out with me," he asked.

She put her quill down. "Why are you so _tiresome?_ Do you not understand English?" she asked him.

"Give me one chance, Evans. You'll have fun, I promise," he said.

She looked up at him thoughtfully. "Tell me this, I'm genuinely curious," she said.

"Yeah?"

"There are about a hundred other girls in this school who are also age appropriate for you… more beautiful, more interesting…" she said. Mary and Alice grinned at each other.

"So?" he asked uncertainly.

"So, why me? Why only me?" she asked him.

"What do you mean? None of them are you," he said. Lily blinked at him. Marlene smiled to herself, she knew Lily was a tiny bit impressed at that.

"So what? You don't know me that well, either," she said, shrugging. "If you want, I can set you up with someone you'd like. What is it that catches your eye? Red hair? Green eyes? Being muggleborn?"

James frowned. "What do you mean 'being muggleborn'? Do you think that's some kind of fetish for me?" he asked.

Lily gave him a subtle smirk. "Is it?" she asked.

"Of course not!" he replied.

"Fine, I'll cross that out, then," she said, simpering at him.

He was really confused now. "I don't need-"

"There's a girl in Hufflepuff, Prudence Selkirk," interrupted Alice, and took a parchment out of her bag. "She's a ginger too."

"What is that?" James demanded.

"Why, it's a list of all the gingers in our school," answered Alice innocently. "Female ones."

Mary and Marlene chuckled noiselessly at his funny expression.

"I don't need you to set me up with someone else! I want to take only _you_ on a date!" he said forcefully.

"But why me, though? You still haven't answered my question," Lily said casually.

"Well, because-" he began to say, but he looked over at the Portrait hole and stopped talking. Sirius had just walked through.

"I'll be back," Marlene said and immediately stood up and walked over to him.

"Hey Marly," Sirius said, smiling, but she could clearly see past the front. His eyes were a bit reddish, and he had dark circles from sleep deprivation. He somehow looked thinner too. He tried to avoid meeting James' eyes, who was staring at him.

"Hey Sirius," she said, grinning so he didn't think she was pitying him.

"What's up?" he asked her, looking around. He didn't see any free tables. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus and Peter walk up the stairs to the dorms, and he knew that it was because of him.

"I'm going to the library, want to join me?" she asked.

"Yes, please," he agreed immediately.

She grabbed her bag from her table and then they both walked out of the Portrait hole to the library.

Look Potter, let us help you," said Alice, and James looked at her.

"What?" he asked distractedly.

"I'm saying, let us help you. We'll set you up with a good-looking, good-hearted girl, and you will be happy," she told him.

James blinked at her for a moment, and then looked over at Remus. He had left the table. Then he saw Remus and Peter up on the landing, walking through the boys' door. "Never, I will not," he replied, facing the girls again.

"Huh?" asked Alice.

"I won't be happy with someone else, they're not Evans," he said, smiling at Lily.

"Lily rolled her eyes. "Why?"

"You… have infinite variety," he said. Mary and Alice glanced at each other, confused. "Which custom cannot stale," he continued.

"Holy Mary, Mother of God," said Lily, astonished. _How does he even know Shakespeare?_

"Yes?" said Mary.

Lily narrowed her eyes at Mary. She did that every time, and it always got on her nerves. "I didn't mean you, I meant the Virgin Mary," she retorted sassily and Mary gaped at her.

Alice looked at Mary questioningly. "Are you...?"

"Shut up!" said Mary, and the other two laughed. James grinned at Lily.

"Potter, you were saying...?" said Lily.

Encouraged, James went on, "Other women cloy the appetites they feed, but you make hungry where you most satisfy," and to her friends' astonishment, Lily laughed.

"Oh, come _on_ , Potter! Really? You're quoting Shakespeare now?" she asked him, smiling. Her friends had no clue who Shakespeare was.

"Is it my fault that he knows exactly what I want to say?" he said.

She glanced at her friends, not knowing how to reply.

"It's the truth, why do you think I keep coming back?" he said.

She shook her head at him. "No."

He didn't look discouraged at all, he merely winked at her and walked away. She stared after him as he climbed the stairs.

"Lily, you're staring," said Alice, smirking, and Lily cleared her throat and turned back.

"Lily, you're _blushing_!" said Mary, and Lily put her face in her hands.

"Oh, stop it, girls!" she said, and the other two chortled.

Ten minutes later, Lily was still deep in thought. "He really misses him a lot," she murmured.

"Who misses whom?" asked Mary.

"Potter," Lily replied. "He really misses Black a lot."

"Yeah, I saw the way he was looking at him," said Alice.

Lily nodded. "Yeah."

"How extraordinary!" said Mary.

"Huh?"

"The real question here, is why you are still thinking about Potter, Ms. Evans," said Mary, grinning.

"Oh, don't start that again, please!"

"She's right, Lily," said Alice. "Admit it. You were impressed with that Shakespeare quote… Who's Shakespeare, by the way?"

"Medieval muggle playwright, but that's not the point!" said Lily.

"Come on, Lily, there's no shame in admitting you like him," said Alice.

"I just like the quote, I don't like Potter!" She maintained.

"You liked that he used it," said Alice.

Lily huffed and opened her textbook again. _I just cannot argue with them.  
_

Sirius and Marlene sat next to each other in the library, studying for a Defence practical test. As they discussed their course material, Marlene cracked many jokes and made him laugh a little. At the end of the study session, Sirius' mood was marginally better, and she was quite proud of herself.  
As they walked back to the Tower, they realised they were past curfew. Marlene wanted to hurry back, but Sirius didn't really care.

"Detention would be a lot better than trying to hang in a dorm where no one wants to talk to you," he said morosely.

"Come on, Sirius! Enough is enough! Just tell me what happened," she asked him, for what was the tenth time that month.

"I've already told you I can't, Marly! It's not that simple!"

"What is it? Why is this so complicated?"

"If I tell you this, I'll have to tell you other things which you can't know…" his voice trailed away.

Lily and Anthony Jordan were approaching them, looking stern. "Why are you two still strutting about? Get back to the Tower quickly! It's past curfew!" said Anthony.

"No," said Sirius, giving them a scathing smile.

"What do you mean, no? Where are you going?" Anthony asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. _Surely, Black is up to some mischief, as usual. So exceedingly arrogant! He doesn't even look a tiny bit repentant._

"Nowhere, Jordan!" said Marlene. "We _were_ going back to the Tower-"

"I've actually been invited to Mrs. Norris' tea party tonight," said Sirius, grinning.

" _Sirius!_ " said Marlene, nudging his ribs with her elbow. "We are going back to Gryffindor tower," she told Anthony clearly, and pulled Sirius in the direction of the Tower.

"Think you're being funny, do you, Black? I've half a mind to give you detention," said Anthony, frowning. Lily didn't say anything, but she thoroughly approved of Sirius getting a detention.

But Sirius merely smiled. "And after that, I'm going to visit the painting of Trollope the Troll on the first floor," he said to piss Anthony off further and it was working.

"I've actually never met a sillier person than you, Black. What are you trying to prove?" Anthony asked him.

Sirius shrugged. Marlene looked helplessly at Lily.

"Come on, Jordan, we have rounds, remember?" Lily said to him, tugging on his arm.

"Yeah, better run along now," said Sirius mockingly, gesturing them off.

"That's it, detention, Black! Five o'clock tomorrow with Kettleburn," he ordered, pointing at Sirius.

"Glad to hear it," said Sirius, smirking humourlessly, while Marlene pounded her forehead with her knuckles.

"Now, go back to the Tower before I give you more detentions," said Anthony.

"Oh, yeah? How many detentions can you give me? And what will you tell McGonagall, happened?" asked Sirius. Marlene gave up and stood resignedly by his side, thoroughly annoyed.

"Is that a challenge?"

"However you want to take it."

"I'll say you weren't following orders. That you were mocking us Prefects. That you refused to go back to the Tower," said Anthony.

"That you were wasting our time," said Lily, folding her hands.

Sirius grinned gleefully at her. "Evans, don't pretend you weren't having fun-"

"Excuse me?" she said, scowling.

"You enjoyed watching Jordan giving me detention, admit it," said Sirius.

"You totally deserved that," replied Lily.

"Exactly," said Sirius, folding his hands and scowling just like she was.

"Just like I'm sure you did something awful to Remus, and totally deserve him not speaking to you, _ever again_!" said Lily. As she expected, that shut him up.

"Lily!" said Marlene, not noticing Sirius turn around and walk away. "How could you say that?!"

"It's true, Pettigrew told Mary that it was all Black's fault-"

"You don't even know the whole story!" accused Marlene.

"Neither do you!" said Lily.

"Enough!" yelled Anthony. "McKinnon, go back to the Tower. Black's already gone."

She whipped around and he wasn't in the corridor. She left them searched the nearby classrooms and finally found him. He was sitting at the back of the class, with his head on his knees, literally shaking with sobs.

"Sirius," she said and ran over to him. She wasn't a hugger, so she sat down beside him and put her hand on his arm. "Siri, don't cry." Marlene hated seeing him cry. It felt like they were six years old again, and Sirius had just been hexed by his father for refusing to follow a useless antiquated custom or something.

"Siri, talk to me... say anything," she said, shaking him. "Lily shouldn't have said that, it wasn't right, I know."

But Sirius shook his head. "She's right, it is all my fault, Marly... all mine," he said, sobbing again. "I completely deserve it, she's right about that…(sniff)... but- but- James and Peter aren't talking to me either…(sniff)... I guess I deserve that too."  
He raised his head off his knees and wiped his face. "Wait, did she talk to him?" he asked Marlene.

She didn't know what to say. "Er, I'm not sure, Siri."

"No, but do you know if he told her what happened? Because she said he won't speak to me _ever again_! Is that true?" he asked anxiously.

"Siri, I don't know, I'm so sorry," she said sadly.

His eyes filled with tears again and his head dropped on to his knees again.

"Oh, Siri… even if Remus doesn't talk to you, you'll have Potter, right? I know for a fact that James Potter can't go very long without talking to Sirius Black!" she said, patting his arm.

Sirius didn't stop crying.

"And Peter will come around too, I'm sure," Marlene continued.

"But what about _Remus_?" he asked.

"I don't know, Sirius. I don't really know him - I don't know what happened…"

"If Remus never talks to me again, I think I'd die," he said.

"Sirius! What a thing to say!" she exclaimed.

"I'm already dying a little every day," he mumbled in a weak voice.

"Sirius, please don't say such things, it scares me," she begged and he looked up at her face.

"Sorry," he said, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. "Sorry, I know you hate any talk of death."

 _Meoooow._ Mrs Norris had entered the room.


	23. Green Snot

James was leaning on his pillows, staring at the dots labelled Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon on the Marauders' map. They appeared to be in a classroom on the first floor. Then he saw Mrs. Norris just outside the classroom, and Argus Filch and someone named Corban Yaxley swiftly approaching their location. "Oh no, he's almost there! Run up the stairs, quick!" he yelled out. Then he looked up at the Peter and Remus, who were looking at him curiously. Remus saw the Marauders' map in his hands and he knew what James had been doing. He had been watching Sirius on it.

"What's up?" Peter asked.

"I was just checking the Map, and Marlene..." James looked down at the Map again. "Shit! Marlene just got caught by Mrs. Norris!"

Peter laughed. Then he watched James solemnly mutter, "Mischief Managed," and put the Map away, and he realised that Sirius was probably with Marlene, wherever they were. He automatically glanced at Remus, who was staring at the closed book in his hands, probably thinking hard.

Remus felt guilty. It was ultimately his fault that James and Sirius weren't talking. His lycanthropy was the reason. He felt like he was getting in the way of their friendship.  
 _Clearly, James misses Sirius. Who gave me the authority to be this selfish? Why am I like this? Why am I always causing problems for others? Aaaaaargh!  
_ He chucked the book away and threw himself onto his pillows and sighed.

Down in the classroom, Mrs. Norris meowed again. "Leaping lacewings! Let's get out of here, Filch won't be far behind," said Marlene and they both quickly jumped up. She took a step and tripped over his bag and was about to fall over, when Sirius caught her. Filch entered the classroom along with Corban Yaxley, a seventh year Prefect from Ravenclaw.

"Ha! Caught you!" he said triumphantly, pointing at Marlene in Sirius' arms. Marlene and her boyfriend Iker Gomez were always meeting up in secret all over the school, and it was one of Argus Filch's greatest desires to catch them at it. Second only, to catching the Marauders mid-prank.

Sirius immediately let her go. "Have you considered a career in theatre, Mr. Filch? Since it's so clear, you just _crave_ attention?"

"You wont be so chatty once I've finished with you, Black," Filch retorted gleefully, feeling like a muggle policeman who'd single-handedly busted a whole drug ring.

"Not the ideal location for a tryst, is it Marlene?" Corban drawled, smirking.

"You know this guy?" asked Sirius, grimacing.

Marlene shoved his bag into his hands. "Unfortunately, yes. Old friends of the family," she said.

"Come on, Marlene, I'm not that bad," Corban said, grinning a wide yellow-toothed grin. She ignored him.

"Come along, you two," said Filch happily. "I'll have to write you up."

Sirius, Marlene and Corban followed Filch to his office, with Mrs. Norris leading the way. Halfway there, Sirius noticed that Yaxley kept bumping his shoulder against hers and was extremely annoyed. He pulled her to the left and took her place between them.  
"Wanna rub up against me, Yaxley?" he asked him and Marlene laughed.

Yaxley gave him an ugly look. How such an arsehole ever became a Prefect, Sirius would never know.

After filling a form out, and setting them nearly half a dozen detentions, Filch sent them to bed.

"Sirius, you shouldn't have said that to him. He's nuts," said Marlene, as the two of them made their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius just waved his hand. "Pah, Filch just isn't able to emotionally process someone calling him out," he said, and laughed at his own joke.

"I meant, to Yaxley."

"That creep! I should in fact, be presented an award for the amount of self-restraint I showed in his presence! Why? What can he do?" he asked.

"Ugh, he won't jump out and duel you or anything," said Marlene. "But if he holds a grudge, it's impossible to sway him. He's relentless in his pursuits, he's like a leech, he won't let you go. He's also a pathological liar."

"Merlin, such integrity. What decent family friends you've got, Marly. How come you've never mentioned him?"

"What! I tell you about him all the time! That's Corban, Corban Yaxley!"

"Oh, that's Corban. Gross."

"Well, at least you didn't miss out on Mrs. Norris' tea party," said Marlene, grinning, and Sirius chuckled.

Yaxley got his revenge for the comment soon enough. As if the existing rumours weren't enough, he went and told everyone that Sirius and Marlene had been caught shagging in a classroom. Nobody close to them really believed it, but some of the girls from Sirius' fan club got really jealous. Marlene ended up in the Hospital wing thrice that week, twice from overgrown toenails, and once from mysterious green rashes erupting all over her body.

"Murderer," Sirius heard someone mutter scathingly as he entered Potions a few days later. He knew it was Severus. But he was still too ashamed of himself to retort. He walked over and sat beside James, who had to be his partner in Potions since the incident, instead of Remus. As he sat down, he could see that James was seething. Sirius just assumed that James was angry with him, so he just got started on his Draught of Peace. He reckoned everyone needed a dose of this potion. _  
_

Pairing Peter and Remus for Potions was a bad idea, as they both weren't great at it. Even Professor Slughorn looked dubious when they took their seats next to each other. Peter, if he followed the instructions very carefully, was usually able to produce a passable potion, but Remus was dreadful. He constantly turned around, asking for advice.  
"I literally did what the textbook said, it still hasn't changed colour!" Remus whispered to them anxiously.

"Add some powder of leopard claw, it has no side effects," Sirius told him at one point, before he could stop himself.

And to his surprise, Remus said, "Yeah, okay," and proceeded to do what Sirius told him. Then he realised that it had been Sirius and not James who had suggested that to him. Sirius saw him exchange looks with Peter, who was trying not to smile. After the lesson however, Remus packed his bag and left the classroom as fast as he could, and Peter hurried after him.

Sirius packed his bag as slowly as he could, and then he noticed that James was still there, watching him. He looked up.  
"You're not a murderer," James told him before walking out.

Sirius was overwhelmed, he took a deep breath. As he slowly dragged his feet to the Great Hall from the dungeons, he had to stop and put his head right. _Yes, I'm not a murderer. I'm not all those things, people around me keep saying. But I am a ruthless, uncaring idiot who sold out his best friend.  
_ Then he heard some voices behind him, and whipped around to see the most hateful group of people Slytherin had ever produced. Mulciber, Goyle, Macnair, and Snape were all standing there, arms crossed, smiling maniacally at him. Then Sirius noticed Regulus standing behind them.

"Well well well, if it isn't the blood traitor who's trying to make amends," said Mulciber, taking out his wand in a flash. Sirius heard an _Expelliarmus_ and his wand flew out of his hand before he could even aim it properly. Mulciber caught it expertly and threw it behind them. The Slytherins cackled.

"Tch tch tch, too slow, Black," said Severus, who also had his wand out.

"Five against a wandless one, that's very fair, Mulciber," said Sirius, buying time for anyone to walk by and catch them. Obviously he did not count on Mulciber to follow proper duelling etiquette.

"Ahh…" they all said and laughed.

"Bold of you to assume your brother won't hex you, Black," said Goyle, pushing Regulus forward forcefully. Regulus stumbled forward, wand trembling in his hand, eyes full of terror.

Another third year who Sirius knew was called Avery, emerged from behind the older Slytherins. "I didn't see him there," Sirius said.

"Now, Regulus, since he's your brother, we would like to give _you_ the honour of jinxing him first," said Mulciber.

Macnair laughed gratingly. "Come on, Regulus, do it. Do it if you don't want to be a blood traitor," he told him and Regulus' wand hand steadied.

Sirius looked at him blankly.

" _Steleus_ ," Regulus whispered, and for a moment it looked like the jinx hadn't taken effect. But then Sirius felt a tickle in his nose and tried to resist it. But he failed and sneezed forcefully, and opened his eyes to find his palms covered in green snot.

The Slytherins laughed and made noises of derision and disgust while Regulus stood there looking stricken, unable to face his big brother. Then Sirius started sneezing uncontrollably, spouting large amounts of green mist and gloop through his nose. Slowly he got so exhausted that he dropped to his knees, still sneezing.

"That's nothing Regulus, you're too soft," he heard Goyle say.

"Agreed. We need to teach him more curses," Macnair said, with a tone of satisfaction and shot the _Conjunctivitis curse_ at Sirius.

Sirius fell to the ground completely, and groaned, putting his goo-covered hands over his burning and throbbing eyes. "At-choo! Ow..."

The Slytherins cackled again when they heard the groan, but Sirius couldn't see or do anything other than sneeze weakly.

"We should go now," he heard Avery say meekly, and he heard some footsteps fade. He assumed Regulus and Avery had run away.

Then Sirius heard Mulciber say an incantation that sounded like Dark magic, and Sirius started coughing. He opened his eyes a sliver and saw that he was coughing up blood. Between the sneezing and coughing, he couldn't breathe and slowly lost consciousness.

James and Peter waited for Sirius to come to lunch, but he didn't, so they simply assumed he was skipping again.

Then Peter noticed something. "James, erm..." he mumbled.

"What?" James asked him, and followed his line of sight to the Slytherin table. Regulus Black had just walked into the Great Hall with Avery, but he looked seriously pale and was wiping sweat off his face. Now, most Slytherins were pale, but this kid was as white as chalk. He kept shooting them terrified looks.

"Something's up," said Remus, staring at Regulus.

"Yeah, but what? Do you think something's happened to Sirius?" asked Peter, and they all exchanged horrified looks. They slowly stood up and grabbed their bags and walked toward the exit. James noticed Mulciber and Snape walk in, looking particularly smug. He wanted to shout at them, ask them what they'd done to Sirius, maybe even hex them a little.

"Let's check the dungeons!" said Remus as soon as they entered the Entrance Hall, and they hurried towards the double doors leading to the dungeons. But the doors burst open, and Altham and Gladstone ran out and exclaimed when they saw the Marauders.

"We just found Black unconscious downstairs!" Altham shouted. "Follow me!"

"You'd better brace yourselves," Gladstone told them, her voice trembling, and they exchanged frightened looks. "I'm getting a teacher!" she said, and ran in the direction of the Great Hall.

Altham turned around and went back through the double doors and the Marauders ran after him. They went down a flight of stairs and neared the Potions classroom and then Remus gasped. Sirius was lying in a pool of the green goo, and his face and chest were covered in blood.

"Sirius!" James yelled, and knelt beside his unconscious form and shook him. The sight of all that blood made him slightly dizzy. "Sirius? Sirius!" he kept saying and kept shaking him and slapping his cheek. But Sirius wouldn't wake up.

Peter felt a bit nauseous too, he wiped sweat off his forehead. He looked anywhere but Sirius, and spotted Sirius' wand lying nearby and gingerly pocketed it.

Remus knelt beside James, unable to believe his eyes. He was used to seeing large amounts of blood, as he spilled so much of his own every month. But not on Sirius. Then he got a terrible thought in his head. He put his fingers under Sirius' nostrils. "I can't tell if he's able to breathe or not," he said frantically. Then, with trembling hands, he checked for a pulse. "He's alive," he informed the others, and Altham exhaled sharply.

"Of course he's alive, Moony! What the hell!" yelled James, tears streaming down his face out of dread.

Then they heard hasty footsteps approaching, and James and Remus jumped up simultaneously and pulled out their wands in one smooth, fluid motion, and pointed it in the approaching people's faces. But it was only Professor McGonagall and Gladstone leading her. James blinked. It took him a few moments to see them clearly, his vision was blurry from the dizziness.

"We need to get him to the Hospital Wing," Remus said immediately, stuffing his wand back in his pocket. McGonagall wordlessly conjured a stretcher, magicked Sirius on to it, and guided him out of the dungeons and up to the Hospital Wing.

"Thank you, thank you!" Remus told the two Slytherins as they paused at the stairs of the Entrance Hall and they nodded anxiously.

Madam Pomfrey had been seeing to a couple of firsties with colds when they entered. "Oh my, Minerva, what happened?" she asked, jogging over.

"Hexed, by the looks of it," said McGonagall, magicking Sirius onto one of the beds. "Potter, run and floo the Headmaster, please."

James was on the verge of fainting, but he still ran over to the Matron's office. He needed to get Dumbledore. Sirius needed to get better _now_.

" _Steleus_ , and _Conjunctivitis_ ," announced the Matron as soon as she finished examining Sirius' oral and nasal cavities as well as his eyes. She quickly muttered the counter-curses, the goo disappeared instantaneously, but the blood remained. It was still leaking out of Sirius' mouth.

"What about the blood, Poppy? Any idea what curse was used?" McGonagall asked her, as the two Marauders watched anxiously.

"I.." she began, and glanced at the Marauders as if she wanted to tell them to leave, but decided against it. At that moment, Dumbledore and James appeared and hurried over to Sirius' bed.

"It's some sort of Dark magic, Minerva," Madam Pomfrey said and the Marauders exchanged terrified looks. The headmaster and the Matron discussed the various Dark curses they knew, which were related to blood.

"No no, that is the one where Rigor Mortis sets in the human body without death," Dumbledore explained to the Matron, as the Marauders exchanged nauseous looks. "No counter-curse," Dumbledore added.

James sat down heavily on the adjacent bed and took a deep breath. He had a thin layer of sweat on his face and hands.

"You alright, mate?" asked Peter, depositing Sirius' wand on the side table. He and Remus sat down on either side of him. James nodded, and wiped his face on the back of his sleeve again. The other two felt cold and clammy too. Suddenly, Sirius gave a weak cough and more blood leaked out of his mouth. The sight made Remus' heart physically ache.

"Oh," said McGonagall softly. Then she said something that sounded like ' _Krvgniena_ ' and Dumbledore shook his head frustratedly.

They could literally see Dumbledore rack his brains. " _Sanguivomens!_ " he said finally, and he pointed his wand at Sirius' chest and his chest glowed blue for a moment. Peter thought he even heard a faint humming sound accompanying the glow.

Madam Pomfrey cast a spell which revealed the state of his lungs, they appeared to be full of some dark liquid, which the Marauders guessed was blood.

"How could I forget? _Sanguivomens_ was a speciality of one particular follower of Grindelwald's, back in the day," Dumbledore said gravely to McGonagall, and he looked lost in thought as the Matron performed several complicated healing charms to empty Sirius' lungs.

"We need to wake him up," said the Matron.

"Why?" asked McGonagall.

"To make sure he hasn't slipped into a coma," she said.

"What do you mean?" asked Remus worriedly, standing up and walking over to Sirius' side.

"His brain has been deprived of oxygen for some time, that could result in…" she explained, her voice trailing away. She tried _Rennervate_ , but it didn't work, so she physically woke him up by shaking him and slapping his cheeks. "Sirius? Mr. Black!"

Sirius finally opened his eyes, groaned and held onto the Matron's wrists to stop her slapping his face. "I'm up, Poppy," he drawled sleepily, and everyone in the room exhaled the breaths they'd been holding in.


	24. Journals

**Author's note: When I read some legends that say werewolves have healing powers, this chapter came to me :D**

* * *

"Mr. Black, do you remember who did this to you?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Did what?" Sirius asked, only just realising where he was. He looked at everyone wide-eyed and confused. "What happened to me?"

"He's gone catatonic!" exclaimed James.

"It's only temporary!" Madam Pomfrey assured them hurriedly. "No more questions," she told the Headmaster. "Rest now, questions later."

"Moony, you're hovering over my sickbed too," Sirius said, grinning happily. Remus removed his hand from Sirius' ankle, which he'd been unconsciously gripping.

"Mr. Black, drink this potion," said Madam Pomfrey, handing him a steaming goblet of purple potion.

He took it and drank it slowly. Then he handed it over. "Okay, goodnight," he said and shifted onto his side and closed his eyes like an adorable little puppy. Poppy and Dumbledore smiled at each other.

McGonagall gestured to the Marauders and they followed the three grownups to the Matron's office. They were asked all sorts of questions, if they had participated in the duel, if they had at least witnessed it, how they had found Sirius, who had found them. There wasn't much to tell. They had no idea who'd done this, except Regulus probably knew who'd done it. James was sure it had been Snape and Mulciber.

"Mr. Potter, you know something, what are you not telling us?" asked the Headmaster, noticing his expression.

James exchanged looks with Remus, who, for once, looked like he didn't want James to tell them anything. The teachers interviewing Regulus was not going to put him in a good place with the other Slytherins. They'd know he had somehow warned the Marauders.

"Mr. Lupin, don't forget you are a _Prefect_!" exclaimed McGonagall but Remus didn't say anything. "If you are going to be difficult, you may as well get back to your classes!" she chided, vanishing the green gloop and blood on their robes and hands with a wave of her wand. The Marauders trooped out of the Hospital Wing.

"This is really complicated," said Peter as they walked down to Care of Magical Creatures. He had recovered himself considerably.

"I know, we'll see what Sirius has to say," said Remus. "Golly, that was such a scare!"

"Yeah, thank Merlin he's alright!" exclaimed James. Remus patted his shoulder.

The story of Sirius' attack had spread through the school already and Marlene interrogated them immediately. Peter and James answered her questions as patiently as they could, and when classes ended, she accompanied the Marauders back to the Hospital Wing.

Sirius was wide awake and shirtless, and enjoying the sensation of the cool blue salve being applied onto his chest by Madam Pomfrey. His whole chest area was blotchy and they could literally see broken blood vessels all over.

"I'm fine," he said, as soon as he spotted their concerned expressions. "It doesn't hurt that much."

Marlene was beside herself. "Doesn't hurt that much? Shut up!" she said to him angrily and Madam Pomfrey tried not to grin.

"And you," she turned to Remus, pointing at his face. "This is all _your_ fault! If you hadn't been so stuck-up, you three wouldn't have left him alone in the dungeons like that, and he wouldn't have gotten hurt!"

Remus looked at everyone. No one said anything, not even Madam Pomfrey. They all just stared back at him.

"Marly-" Sirius said but she spoke again.

"I don't think you realise this, but you're an extremely annoying bunch of berks. In addition to that, you're also upstanding and very outspoken against the Dark side. And because of that, you obviously have to expect that you will have many enemies, especially in Slytherin. _That's_ why you lads have to _stick together_!" she went on. "Those Slytherins were probably just waiting to get one of you alone! Do you even know how dangerous it could have been?!" She shook her head vehemently. "You have no idea! You don't know anything that goes on in these kind of families."

James stared at her. She was right. And the only reason she knew what happened in those sort of families was because Sirius' family was one of them.

Then Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat. "How about you apply this salve, dear?" she said to Marlene kindly.

Marlene was slightly taken aback, but she took the tube anyway and sat down in Madam Pomfrey's recently vacated chair. "Thank you."

"There's a good girl," said the Matron. "I'll be right back," and walked to her office.

Peter chuckled. "She obviously thinks you two are dating," he said. Marlene and Sirius rolled their eyes.

"Oh, that's what that was," said James. "Are you guys secretly harbouring a deep, potent lust for each other and forget to tell us?" James and Peter sniggered.

"For the last time, we were _not_ shagging!" said Marlene exasperatedly, taking some salve and applying it to Sirius' chest.  
Then she looked up at Remus, who was staring at her. "At least I'm not harbouring a potent hatred," she added, just to incite some reaction between them. But it backfired. Remus gaped at her for a moment, then simply turned around and walked toward the exit.

"Marly! Are you insane?" he heard Sirius whisper to her angrily. "He came to see _me_! He would have talked to me, and now he's gone again! Do you know how long it takes for him to not feel guilty about things that are literally out of his control?! You don't know anything!" Remus paused at his words.

"Yeah, I don't. Because you never _tell_ me anything, Sirius! But I do know I'm not wrong in this scenario!" Marlene said, and Sirius lay there and fumed, the good sensation from the salve had now evaporated.

"Moony? Moony wait, you can't take her seriously, she doesn't know anything," James said, knowing the effect such words had on his friend.

Thankfully, Remus turned around and slowly walked back to Sirius' bed. He stared at the blotchy chest. His eyes flicked towards Sirius' face as he wondered how much pain he was in. _Marlene may not know anything,_ _but she's still right.  
_ Sirius awkwardly looked away. Remus didn't know why he was doing it, but he lightly touched Sirius' chest. At that moment, he felt extremely guilty that he'd indirectly caused this pain, and something unusual happened. His hands directed themselves to the area over Sirius' left lung, and he could suddenly perceive a stagnation of energy in Sirius' energy body. _The guilt._ Sirius' guilt for what he had done and the sadness and loneliness he was experiencing, were revolving there like a potent whirlpool. He could literally see the injuries laying on top of this energy block like layers of dried paint on top of each other on a canvas. Difficult to separate, but one can try.

"How did you know?" asked Sirius, now looking at Remus, mystified.

"Know what?" asked James.

"That's where it hurts the most?" Sirius said, raising his eyebrows.

A small crease formed between Remus' eyebrows, his eyes were trained on his hands. Sirius suddenly felt an odd sensation in the area under Remus' hands and gasped.

"What? Are you okay?" asked Marlene.

"Yeah… I felt-" Sirius began, but the sensation had been evanescent, it was gone now. He couldn't even describe it.

"What are you doing?" asked Peter nervously, and he tried to swat Remus' hands away, but wasn't successful.

"Leave-" Marlene began, as she tried to pull his hands off. But when she looked up into his eyes, she freaked out and stumbled out of her chair. Remus's eyes were glowing yellow.

"What-" James asked, and even he saw the eyes.

"Remus? Remus, what are you doing?" he asked gently, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder.

Then Remus's hands started vibrating slightly, and Sirius held onto Remus' wrists tightly. There was an intangible magic in the air, everyone felt it. Sirius felt almost hypnotised by it.

"What is he doing?" Madam Pomfrey was back. She took one look at Remus' eyes and hands, and seemed to understand what was going on. "Remus, no! Pull his hands off, now!" she shouted.

James and Peter tried to pull them off, but it was as if they'd been stuck there using a sticking charm. Marlene watched them as they struggled, horrified. Finally they managed to pull them off, and the three Marauders stumbled back. Sirius lost consciousness.

"Moony, what the hell!" shouted James, shoving him hard.

"Ah," Remus uttered, touching his own chest. James gaped at him.

"Remus, what were you thinking?!" shouted Madam Pomfrey. "You didn't cause this!" Remus said nothing, he was exhausted.

"Wha…" mumbled James, looking down at Remus' chest.

"Promise me you'll never do something this stupid again!" Poppy said sternly to Remus.

"No, I wont," he said. Then he just blinked confusedly and turned to walk away.

"Remus, come back here!" she yelled, but he ran out of the double doors. The group stood around Sirius' bed, breathing deeply and trying to piece together what just happened.

Then Marlene noticed something. "His wounds are gone!" she exclaimed loudly, and Sirius jolted awake.

"Merlin's top hat!" said Peter, running his hand over Sirius' perfectly healed chest.

"Stop that," said Sirius, grimacing, and looked down to find what had everyone so astonished about. "Nice, I'm completely healed. Thanks Poppy!" he said happily.

She scratched her forehead uncertainly, not knowing what to say.

"What?" he asked. Everyone stared at her.

"It wasn't me, Mr. Black," she told him, and sat down in the chair.

"Okay?" said Sirius, expecting her to continue.

She just blinked thoughtfully. Then she turned to look at Marlene and suddenly got to her feet again. "I'll get Professor McGonagall, dear," she said, patting Marlene on the shoulder, and went off to floo her.

James looked at the three of them, Sirius was extremely confused, Marlene was trying to pretend she hadn't just jumped out of her skin, and Peter was staring at Marlene, most likely wondering if she could keep a secret.

"James, what's going on?" asked Sirius restlessly.

"Er, let's just wait for Madam Pomfrey to come back," said James.

Then the Matron was back with McGonagall following her. "How are you feeling, Mr. Black?" the Professor asked immediately.

"I feel great, actually. Thanks for asking, professor. But can someone tell me what the bloody hell's going on, please?" he said.

"Yes, I'd like to know, too," said James. Peter nodded endlessly.

Madam Pomfrey gestured towards Marlene.

"Yes, of course," said Professor McGonagall and gestured to Marlene to sit down in the chair, while she sat on Sirius' bed in front of her. "I know, dear, that what you just witnessed has terrified you. But let me explain, and it will all be clear," she said to Marlene. Marlene nodded fearfully. "Remus Lupin is a werewolf," said McGonagall, and Marlene gasped and clapped her hands on her mouth.

"What! Why're you telling her?!" asked Sirius loudly, and was very confused when James and Peter shushed him.

Then McGonagall patiently told her the whole story, with supplements from the three Marauders.

"He's really gentle," Sirius insisted.

"He wouldn't even hurt a fly," James said.

"He's the sweetest werewolf you'd ever meet," added Peter.

Marlene glanced at all of them, and then gently removed her hands from her mouth. "Okay," she said in a quiet voice. "This is a lot to take in, but... okay."

"You can't tell anyone, Ms. McKinnon," McGonagall said to her, and she nodded.

"Yeah. I mean no, I won't tell anyone," said Marlene.

"Swear it," said Sirius.

"I swear, Sirius, I will not tell anyone," she said seriously.

"Not even your friends," said James.

"Of course not, silly, I understand completely," she said, nodding.

"Alright, then," said the professor.

Then there was a brief silence, before Marlene said in awe, "My, his eyes were so yellow… they were just glowing!"

"What?! What happened?!" Sirius asked the two Marauders.

"Do you not remember anything?" asked Peter, and Sirius just looked perplexed.

"Someone _please_ just explain, already!" he begged them, sitting up.

"Yeah, otherwise he'll explode," said James, and everyone looked at Madam Pomfrey.

She nodded and began. "When Remus came to Hogwarts, I read every book on werewolves I could find, so I could help him, that's how I know what just happened. I'm not sure even he knows what he just did."

"But what did he do? Where is he?" asked Sirius exasperatedly.

"I was going through Healing Research Journals at St Mungo's for anything on Lycanthropy when I found this article. At first, it sounded so dodgy, I wondered how they even got it published-" she said, but James interrupted her.  
"Are you talking about the Journal called _Being Beings_?" asked James. "Because that journal _is_ really dodgy. Sirius and Peter and I actually wasted a lot of time over some of the articles in it… But turns out, it's a pretty silly journal."

"Yeah, especially on Lycanthropology," said Peter.

"Can you give me an example?" asked Poppy.

"There was an article in it, which talked about the Werewolves of Ossory, for Godric's sake!" said James. Poppy looked dubious.

"The tale of the Werewolves of Ossory? Part of a book written by Giraldus Cambrensis. Who was a muggle!" said Peter.

"He was a muggle, but he spent a lot of time with wizards," said Minerva. Everyone looked at her in surprise. "He's related to ex-headmaster Vulpus, you know. He was his great-uncle," she added.

"Oh, wow! We did not know that," said James. Minerva nodded.

"See, boys, you must always do further research before you dismiss a whole journal," said Poppy.

"Can we get back to the issue at hand, please?" Sirius requested.

"Oh, yes, of course!" said Poppy. "So, the article said that when a werewolf bites someone at full moon, and regrets it the next morning, they can go to the person they bit, and absorb the lycanthropy back along with all the pain associated with it."

"What!" everyone exclaimed.

"I know, I know, it sounds incredulous. Implausible even," she said, gesturing with her hands. "But, that's only because it's still an unexplored area of research. There haven't been any trials or experiments done yet, because obviously, no one wants to bite or get bitten on purpose. And also, I know it's uncomfortable to say out loud, but there aren't many werewolves who can actually remember, or really regret what they've done that much."

"I understood nothing of what you just said," said Peter.

"Yeah," said James.

Madam Pomfrey took a deep breath. "The article said, that if a werewolf feels enough guilt for the pain they've caused, they can absorb it back," she explained slowly, as if teaching a toddler.

"Remus bit someone?" asked Sirius, not believing it.

"No," said Madam Pomfrey, "It doesn't have to be biting them. It can be any kind of physical pain they've directly or indirectly caused," she said gravely, looking at Sirius. Everyone gaped at her.

"So he…" James prompted her.

"Yes, he took all of your wounds and the pain. He literally absorbed it through his hands," she told Sirius, her hands demonstrating what Remus had done. "That's why they're gone."

"He absorbed my wounds?" Sirius asked numbly, touching his chest.

The Matron nodded. "He magicked them onto himself. Werewolves are magical creatures, after all."

Peter felt it was a bit weird to think of Remus as a 'magical creature'. McGonagall was watching the scene with wide eyes.

"But how? He didn't cause this... _he_ didn't hex me!" said Sirius.

"Well, as Ms. McKinnon put it, he felt personally responsible for you getting hexed," Madam Pomfrey said, and Sirius glared at Marlene angrily. She was able to look appropriately guilty.

"He was able to absorb his pain even though he didn't directly cause it? That has to be a miracle, right?" asked James.

"Guilt, regret and remorse are powerful weapons, Mr. Potter," said McGonagall, and the Matron nodded.

"Wow!" said Marlene. "Just... wow."

"Wait, if he's absorbed my wounds, then he must be in a lot of pain right now!" said Sirius loudly.

"You said it didn't hurt that much!" accused James.

"Well-" Sirius sighed.

"Not just from the wounds, but the process of absorbing is also supposed to be _agony_. Not to mention how guilty he must have felt for all this, he must be terribly exhausted. I'm surprised he was able to walk away," said Madam Pomfrey.

"Run away," Minerva corrected.

"We have to find him," said Peter urgently.

"But he could be anywhere in the castle," said Madam Pomfrey.

"We have the means, don't worry," said Sirius, grinning and putting his shirt back on.

McGonagall and Pomfrey shared looks.

"But even if we do find him, he probably won't want to come back here," said James.

"No, he won't," said Sirius, grinning again.

"Okay, make him drink this potion, then," she said, handing them a vial of periwinkle blue potion. "I'd originally concocted it for Mr Black, but obviously he doesn't need it anymore. And take the salve with you."

James nodded and took the potion.

"Thank you, Po- Madam Pomfrey," said Sirius and she nodded.

"I would be telling you to take it easy, but I know it's of no use," she said, smiling at Sirius.

"I'll keep an eye on them, Madam. No need to worry," said James, giving her a curt nod. Sirius was overjoyed to hear that. James was going to keep an eye on him. Then the Marauders left, Marlene following them uncertainly.

The two women glanced at each other again.


	25. Xanthorrhoea

"Poppy, I don't think there exists a more kind-hearted person on this planet, than Remus Lupin," said Minerva.

"I agree. Sometimes I feel he's too kind, even to undeserving people," said Poppy. "But I guess, that's what true kindness is all about. It doesn't discriminate."

"By undeserving people, do you mean Sirius Black?" asked Minerva, smiling.

"I'm not prejudiced, Minerva-"

"No, I didn't mean that-"

"I know it's not my place to judge people based on their families, and they're all still children, after all," said Poppy.

"But, you should be taking his family into consideration," said Minerva. Poppy was perplexed. "It's because he was raised in that hellhole, that he behaves like that, Poppy. He's bound to make mistakes. He's a _good_ boy. Every year, he learns so many good things at school... I see him grow... but when he goes home, _none_ of that matters there. And every year, he comes back diminished and wane... but he still rallies on as good as he can."

"You're right, the poor child. I didn't even think of that," said Poppy. "And that little brother of his, he's a good egg, too."

Minerva was surprised. "Is he?" she asked, and Poppy nodded.

"Yes, he is. The best thing about working at a school, is everything you get to learn from the children," she said.

"I thought we were here to teach them?" said Minerva, grinning.

"Of course we are, but you can't deny that you learn something new with every batch that goes through here," said Poppy.

"Yes, we do. I feel like we are reminded in the most unexpected, and extraordinary, yet so simple of ways, that the most important things in life are love and compassion. Like Albus always says," Minerva agreed.

"Not to mention, they'll keep us young," said Poppy.

"Keep me on my toes, more like, this particular batch," said Minerva, and the two women laughed.

Stood on a secret staircase a few floors above, Peter glanced at James. "Do you have the Map with you?" he asked, and received a smack on the head from James.

"Oops," he said, as they walked up the staircase.

"I didn't even know this was here," said Marlene, looking around in wonder.

"Yeah, well. One of the perks of knowing the Marauders, you find out things like this," said Sirius, grinning at her.

"Let's go back to the Common room," James said, and they all nodded.

As they walked towards the stairs, Peter glanced around. "Look, there he is! Beside that bookcase," he said, pointing to the bookcase.

"To be honest, I never knew there was a bookcase there," said Sirius, as they walked over to it.

"Yeah, well. One of the perks of knowing Remus, you find out things like this," said Peter.

Sirius simply grinned affectionately at him, he had even missed Peter's annoying jabs.

Remus sensed them coming over and threw a crumpled piece of parchment at them, without even looking up from his book.

James picked it up and opened it. 'Don't make a scene, I'm fine. Also, I'm still mad at you, Sirius, so stay away,' he read out and chuckled at the note.

"Brilliant!" said Sirius dejectedly.

"I hope you didn't expect him to just start talking to you right away, mate," said Peter.

"Not really. One never knows what to expect from Remus Lupin," said Sirius, rolling his eyes.

"You can say that again," said Marlene, and they laughed at her. "I think I'll go see what my friends are up to now," she told James, tossing him the salve. He nodded at her.

"I'm coming with you," said Sirius and followed her to her friends' table.

"Hey Marlene," said Mary.

"Hi ladies," said Sirius brightly.

"Oh, and you've brought Black back with you... Goody," said Lily, smiling sarcastically.

The both sat down at the table.

"So how are you feeling, Black? Heard you got hexed?" asked Alice.

"I'm fine now," said Sirius, avoiding Marlene's eye.

"So who hexed you?" asked Mary quickly.

"Mulciber and Macnair," he told them. They all exclaimed.

"That Macnair, I just hate him so much! _He's_ the kind of person I would expect to just hex someone ruthlessly. Do you remember what he said about werewolves last year?" said Alice angrily.

"Great Godric!" said Marlene, looking at Sirius. He nodded, knowing that she was imagining how Remus must have felt sitting there, listening to that crass debate.

"Snape, Goyle, Avery and my brother were there too, but they didn't do anything," he said.

"Regulus was there?!" asked Marlene, surprised.

"Er.." he said, and she narrowed her eyes.

"What is it, Sirius?" she asked sternly, and watched as his palm involuntarily balled into a tight fist.

He told her how Regulus had been forced to use the _Steleus_ jinx on him, and the girls were horrified.

"So this is what use he's being put to now," said Marlene gravely.

"I've always known that this would be the fate that awaited him if he got put in Slytherin," he said darkly. _Which is why I wanted him to get sorted to Gryffindor like me!_

She put her hand on his arm on his fist, but he suddenly stood up. "Siri," she said.

"I'm going back to the dorm, I'll see you later," he said to her and stalked off, hands in his pockets. Marlene sighed as she watched him go.

"Wow, I've never seen him so depressed before... he's always so cheerful all the time," said Alice.

"It's Remus," she said.

"Yeah, they're still not talking, are they?" asked Lily, and Marlene shook her head.

"How can he be so heartless? His best friend just got hexed, but still he won't talk to him?" asked Mary.

Marlene knew her tactics too well to fall for them. Mary would keep saying something insensitive until her victim snapped and spilled everything. "I still don't know what they fought about, but you can't blame Remus. Like at all. He's not in the wrong," Marlene told the girls.

Lily smiled. "I know what you mean, he really is the nicest person ever," she said. "But weren't you supporting Black up until now? I'd have thought that would continue... what changed your mind?"

Marlene glanced shiftily at her. "Something happened, didn't it?" Lily asked.

"I'm really not taking sides in a fight I know nothing about, Lily. I just care about Sirius. But, you have no idea. Remus is nicer than you think, he's out of this world nice," said Marlene.

"Oh just tell us already!" said Mary, but Marlene shook her head.

"No way. There's a reason the Marauders have so many secrets. It's more than any of us can handle, really," she said importantly.

"I must confess, I'm a bit jealous that you know something about Remus that I don't," said Lily, smiling a little.

"Nah, it's only one thing that I know. You know so much more about other things, I'm sure," said Marlene bracingly.

"Actually, I don't. He's a very private person. All I know, is that he has a lot of issues with health and his family, but nothing in detail," said Lily, pouting.

"I'm sure he'll tell you one day," said Marlene, patting her hand.

"Okay, so what hexes did Macnair and Mulciber use on Black?" asked Mary eagerly.

"I actually didn't have a chance to find out all the gory details yet. But I'll get it out of Potter soon enough," she said, chuckling evilly.

Sirius walked up the stairs and opened the dormitory door. James was applying the salve to Remus' chest. It looked similar to what his own chest had looked like earlier, but not as blotchy. But Remus' scars were superimposing the blotchiness, so it made it look worse.

"You didn't have to do that, you know. It wasn't your fault," Sirius said, from his own bed.

"I didn't do it on purpose," Remus replied, not looking at him.

"Yeah, sure. The wounds just magically transferred on to your body," said Sirius sarcastically.

"I didn't even know this would happen, alright?" said Remus, sitting up angrily.

"It wasn't your fault! I don't understand why you had to go feeling so guilty about things you didn't even cause! I mean, _you_ didn't hex me!" Sirius said loudly.

"But I did feel guilty, okay! So… just deal with it!" said Remus, scowling.

"Deal with it? How am I supposed to deal with it? You literally took my pain, I never asked you to!" Sirius yelled.

"I already told you, I wasn't planning on it," said Remus, frustrated. "Besides, it's nothing compared the the pain from the transformations, so just chill."

" _Chill?_ " asked Sirius incredulously.

"James, tell him to stop talking to me," Remus said, getting really agitated. Peter widened his eyes at James.

"Remus, why don't you lie back down?" James told him patiently. "Here's your book, if you want. Take some rest, and I'll take Sirius downstairs, alright?" he said, putting the book and the empty potion vial on the bedside table. Remus lay back down on his pillows again and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down.

Sirius took one last look at him before following Peter and James down to the Common room.  
 _I want to just hug him. Kiss him. Hold him in my arms and tell him off for doing this. But for now, I can settle for a_ single _friendly word from him. Please._

Remus lay on his bed thinking about how unbelievable it was that he'd managed to absorb the wounds, and felt that it'd been the right thing to do. Then he made a mental note to never ever mention this to his parents.  
 _Merlin, I'm too high-maintenance! All the secrets, all the lies, all the cover-ups. They had to get tired of it sometime, right? They were bound to slip up... and poor Sirius was so badly hurt as a result of all this drama! I'm glad I could take these wounds. It's better if I keep my distance from them, so Sirius can at least have his friends back._

"I don't understand," Sirius said to the other two. "He'll gladly take my pain, but he won't talk to me?"

"Just give him time, alright," said Peter.

"But it's still bloody vexing!" said Sirius, banging the balustrade with his fist. Peter felt his frustration too, he kicked a step.

"Let's take advantage of this, lads!" said James, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Like last year. Let's practise our transformations. I know we can do it! We're on the last stage, and when we succeed, he's bound to come around, Sirius!" James said, and the other two beamed.

"Let's find an empty classroom now!" said Peter, almost skipping down the stairs.

"A secret passageway might be better," said Sirius, smiling.

"And also, Remus was saying a few days ago, that some of the Prefects, especially the Head girl and Dorcas know a few of the secret passageways, so we have to remember not to use those particular ones," said James, also getting to his feet.

"Do they know the one in that corridor on the fifth floor?" asked Sirius.

"Which one is that again?" asked Peter.

"The one behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy," James told him patiently. "No, Remus didn't mention anything about that one."

"Okay," said Sirius gleefully. "Let's go there then."

As Marlene watched the Marauders step out through the Portrait Hole again, she realised that she had this newfound respect for all of them. _Sirius, Potter and Pettigrew sticking by Remus even after they knew he's a werewolf, and Remus taking all of Sirius' pain even when they are fighting. Incredible._

"Oh, by the way, how did you find me when I got hexed?" Sirius asked them as they walked to the hidden passageway.

Peter told him how he had noticed Regulus' expression and how Altham and Gladstone had led them to him.

"Honourable Slytherins, who would have thunk?" said Sirius, chuckling. "Marlene would never believe it of them."

Peter glanced at Sirius. "Do you know of the rumour going around about you and Marlene, by the way?" he asked.

"That Filch had caught us mid-shag?" he asked and laughed. "That's as fake as my grandmother's face."

"So... er..." Peter prompted him.

"It's completely and utterly fake, Peter, for Salazar's sake!" said Sirius. Then he immediately regretted it.

"You've been a Gryffindor for five years now, and you still say-" James began to say.

"Uurgh! Alright!" he exclaimed. "Captain of the rumour mill, Corban Yaxley started that rumour."

"Who the hell is Corban Yaxley?!" asked Peter.

"Ravenclaw Prefect. Complete rat face, that one! Let me tell you guys who he is and what actually happened..." Sirius said and proceeded to tell them what happened that night, and James was soon saying what an idiot Yaxley was, and listing the hexes he would use on him if he ever had the guts to do that again.

But Peter somehow couldn't fully believe Sirius. He thought Marlene was cheating on her boyfriend with Sirius, and that Sirius was lying to keep it all under wraps. And then he decided that if in case, Sirius was indeed lying, it was his own business, and that he wouldn't bother about it too much.

Over the years, James Potter had literally asked himself thousands of times, what was the use of brushing his hair. No matter how much he brushed it, it always looked like the top of a Xanthorrhoea tree, also called Grasstrees, a species of flowering plants which are endemic to Australia. His head was literally a black Xanthorrhoea. Still, every morning, James would stand in front of the mirror and attempt to tame it, just because that was what everyone did. And also because that was what his father had taught him to do.  
As he stepped into the bathroom the next morning to brush his hair, he saw Remus just standing in front of the mirror, glumly staring at his own reflection.

"Moony, what are you doing?"

Remus sighed. "This scar across my nose," he said, touching it lightly. "It's just _there..._ on my face, you know, screaming to everyone to look at it."

"Did someone-"

"Just a curious firstie. I lied and told her I'd been attacked by a Hippogriff," said Remus, and James grinned. "But, hippogriff wounds don't leave scars, James. They disappear when we use the Essence of Dittany."

"Oh," said James, trying to think of another animal which would leave scars.

"Maybe I should say it was a thunderbird, next time," said Remus, and James nodded. "American creature, not many people know it well." Then, he sighed again. "I know I got it a year ago, but I still can't seem to get used to it," he said. "My face looks different, I guess it matches the rest of my body now."

James looked at Remus through the mirror. "Well, if it helps, Sirius said it made you look rugged," said James. "Oh, I'm sorry." He forgot he wasn't supposed to talk to Remus about Sirius yet.

"It's fine. When did he say that?" Remus asked.

"Last year, Few days after you got it, I think," said James.

"Fine," said Remus, and walked back into the dormitory.

James wondered if he'd said too much, if he had annoyed Remus by mentioning Sirius, but what he didn't know was that he had actually made his day. Remus couldn't stop smiling the whole time he packed his bag. _He thinks it makes me look rugged. Does it really?_  
Not that he would let anyone see him smile, though. If he did, someone would ask him why he was smiling, then he would have had to lie. _Because that is a weird thing to feel happy about. Right? Who even does that? And then if it got back to Sirius, he'd think he's been forgiven. Which he isn't. Not at all, no._

For poor Sirius though, it seemed like the dark night would never lighten. Even though he had James and Peter back, Remus was now avoiding them too, most of the time. He was spending most of his time in the library now, either with Lily or on his own. And Sirius felt like he was stuck in a deep abyss of loneliness which Remus had left him in. Every time someone came up to him, he thought it was Remus. He couldn't sit still, he couldn't move, he felt quite restless. He couldn't think about anything else.

* * *

 **Author's note: Have you guys googled 'Xanthorrhoea' yet? :D**


	26. Doormat

James looked out of the window of their dorm. It appeared to be a windy Saturday morning. "Let's _go,_ you two," he said.

"Just... getting... my..." huffed Peter, trying to push his jumper down.

"I'm sorry to say this, mate, but you've officially outgrown that jumper," James informed him.

"But mother bought it for me as a coming-home present just this summer, it fit fine then..." he said, then his eyes widened. "Oh." _Oh shoot, I'm fat. Officially. No longer chubby, no longer cute and cuddly. I am fat._  
"Oh no," he moaned.

"It's alright, you can borrow mine if you want," said Sirius, taking pity on him. He opened his trunk to look for that large brown jumper that his Aunt Lucretia had gifted him a few years ago. She never ever visited, so she didn't even know what size he was. And shrinking clothes made them weird to wear, so he never did that.

"I don't need your charity!" said Peter rudely. James was stunned. Even Remus looked up from Peter's essay he was double checking.

Sirius slowly stood up. "No," he tried to explain. "I didn't mean it like that. I only wondered if you wanted to borrow mine."

"Oh sure. And your urge to show off family's wealth had nothing to do with that, right?" said Peter sarcastically.

"Pete, of course not, mate," said James. "When have you ever known Sirius to boast about his family's wealth?"

Peter looked mutinous.

"I did no such thing!" said Sirius. "And for your kind information, _I've_ never gotten coming-home presents, like you always do."

"Don't you have any business other than making people feel bad about themselves?" said Peter.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Sirius, stepping closer to him.

"Have you ever thought about how Remus felt when you got yourself hexed and ended up in the Hospital wing?" asked Peter, his face was starting to flush out of agitation.

"I didn't get myself- I didn't do it on purpose! Why would anyone?!" said Sirius, glancing at Remus, who looked taken aback.

"Of course not, Sirius!" Peter said loudly. "Nothing you do is _ever_ on purpose, is it? Sirius Black always _goes with the flow_ , doesn't he?" Then he proceeded to do a cruel but accurate impression of Sirius' posh accent. "Oh bugger, did I just let slip to _Snivellus_ on how to get his greasy arse past the Whomping Willow? Meh, I'll just let the other two take care of it. Oh no, did I just get hexed by Slytherins because I was lolloping about in the dungeons all by myself? I'll just make Remus feel like he's the reason it happened. Did I just make Peter feel bad about having no money to buy a new jumper? Who cares? _I won't apologise!_ I'll just donate that shitty one I never wear!"

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!" shouted Sirius.

"Why should I, Sirius? Just because you want me to? Can't face the truth, can you? Why don't you bloody take responsibility for your actions for once in your pathetic life?!" said Peter. "This must come as a shock to you, but _you_ aren't the centre of the universe, my friend! It's just that _those two_ love you so much that they never tell you off for _any_ of the nonsense you get up to."

Sirius couldn't say anything to that. He opened and closed his mouth, but nothing came out. Remus and James were utterly dumbfounded. Peter had never raised his voice like that before.

A few tensely silent moments passed, and Peter lost his nerve. He looked at the other two, and then he just quickly exited the dorm. James and Remus started towards the door at the same time and paused abruptly and looked at each other. Then James realised that, obviously, Remus was not going to stay and make sure Sirius was alright. He gestured to Remus to go after Peter. Remus nodded and shut the door behind him.

Sirius saw how both Remus and James had thought to make sure that Peter was okay first. _That means something._ "Is it true?" he asked.

James slowly turned around to face him. "What is?"

"That I think I'm the centre of the universe?" Sirius asked.

"No," said James, a little too quickly. Which didn't help Sirius' confidence levels. "Well, to be honest, Sirius, it is true, occasionally."

Sirius looked stricken.

"I said occasionally!" said James. "Look, sometimes, you're brutally honest about things-"

"What's wrong with being honest?"

"Nothing!"

"No one's ever honest in my house, James! I've never heard anyone have a perfectly honest heart-to-heart in that house before, it's like it's forbidden to tell people how you really 's why I always try to be honest here," said Sirius.

"Oh," said James, biting his lip.

"And no one ever bothers to listen to what I have to say about anything, ever! That's why I'm always telling you guys what I think! Is that a bad thing? Should I stop?" Sirius asked.

"No, it's not a bad thing," said James. Then, he sighed. _That must be really difficult to deal with._  
"I'm sorry, mate, I had no idea." Every time Sirius spoke about his family, James felt uncomfortable in the pit of his stomach. _Every time he opens his mouth to talk about his family, I learn something new, something so ridiculously unimaginable. What kind of family is that?! Merlin!_

"Of course, you don't, James, I've never told you," said Sirius. But, then he remembered Bellatrix' and Narcissa's brutally honest conversation over the summer... how their words cut him like knives. _Well, at least those sisters are honest with each other. Oh Merlin, am I like them?  
_ "But you're right I think," he said, nodding. I get what Pete was trying to say. I should be more mindful of people's feelings."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you need to tiptoe around them," said James, and smiled. "Just acknowledge them."

Sirius nodded. "I keep apologising to Moony because I miss him, but I don't even acknowledge the fact that he's still mad at me," said Sirius. "I should just give him time, right?"

"Um, I was kind of hoping you'd keep apologising to him actually, so he'll cave, and then we can all be proper friends again," said James sheepishly, and Sirius chuckled.

"And I should probably apologise to Pete for making him feel that way," he said. "But, don't you think he was being overly sensitive-

"See, this is exactly what he meant, Sirius!" said James. "People are allowed to feel however they want to feel. You can't dictate how people should feel in a particular situation, you never know the whole story!"

"I get it, I get it!" said Sirius hurriedly.

"I saw Pete reading a letter last night, which was most likely from his mum about money or something like that," said James.

"What a stupid prick I am!" said Sirius. Then he shrugged thoughtfully. "This is probably why Reggie hates me too..."

Outside the Portrait hole, Remus grabbed Peter's hand to stop him. "Pete, wait!"

"I said too much, I'm so embarrassed!" said Peter, to his surprise.

"Um, well..." Remus said.

"Right?! Oh Godric, you think so too!" Peter exclaimed. "What should I do? What if Sirius stops talking to me?!"

"Everything you said kind of made sense, actually," said Remus. "At least to me."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but imitating him like that was..."

"Was what?"

"It was quite callous, to be honest," said Remus, grimacing awkwardly.

"Yeah, it was," said Peter, nodding. "I realised it as soon as I did it, but I was still to angry to think clearly, so I left!"

Remus smiled. "Wanna go back?"

Peter nodded and they both came back to the dorm. "Sirius, I'm really sorry!" said Peter as he opened the door.

Sirius was surprised. "Oh... Um, no, I'm sorry if I made you feel-"

"I shouldn't have imitated you like that," Peter said guiltily, and James chuckled.

"That was so accurate, Pete! I had no idea you could imitate people like that!" he exclaimed.

"He got my voice down to the last intonation!" said Sirius, grinning.

"I know, right, and how long have we known him?" said Remus, looking at Sirius. "Five years!" And then everyone laughed. Remus realised that he'd accidentally spoken to Sirius, and they looked at each other awkwardly for a few moments.

" _Okay_ , now that you've said your sorrys," said James, breaking up the tension. "Are we going to Hogsmeade or not?"

"Um, Pete?" said Remus, picking up his essay again. The other three looked at him and it somehow made Remus feel self-conscious.

"Yeah?"

Remus wanted to ask Peter if he was sure he wanted to go to Hogsmeade, because Peter was doing badly in Defence Against the Dark Arts. In the last practical test, Pete had gotten the 43rd place out of 47 students in the class... and only 43 students had taken the test! But when he looked at Peter's fearful face, he didn't feel like stopping him from having fun. He didn't want to be _that_ guy _. What does Sirius call them? A party pooper?_

"Er, nothing. There are a few corrections in your essay," Remus told him instead. "I'll tell you when you guys are back."

Peter let out a pent-up breath. "Okay, thanks, Moony!"

And finally, James, Sirius and Peter made their way to Hogsmeade, the latter wearing Sirius' comfy brown jumper.

"Where to, first?" asked Peter, grinning. He knew the answer already.

"To the Three Broomsticks, men!" said James, picking up his pace. Sirius followed him, and Peter tried to keep up, regretting his question.

The Three Broomsticks had a new landlady called Madam Rosmerta, and it now looked warm and inviting. It had a cool, new vibe to it. The Marauders arrived there at a run, panting heavily.

"Oh Merlin, Sirius, let's never do that again," said James.

Sirius couldn't even reply, he just nodded and lowered himself on all fours, panting a bit like a dog. Then, a pair of feet walked over and stopped right in front of his face. The feet were housed in ruby-red high heels which were glinting in the sunlight. He slowly looked up and saw the young lady smirking at him.

"Rosy!" said Sirius, grinning broadly and standing up. "You're looking ravishing today."

Madam Rosmerta raised an eyebrow. "Flattery won't get you free drinks I'm afraid, Mr. Black."

"Oh come on, Rosy, can't a bloke pay an honest compliment without having ulterior motives?" said Sirius, pretending to be hurt.

"Oh, being honest again are we, Sirius?" asked James. Sirius shook his head and chuckled.

"Ignore my friend, Madam, he is all talk and no _action_ ," said James, pushing a speechless Sirius away. Sirius blushed at his double meaning. This wasn't the first time James had made subtle references to Sirius' homosexuality, he loved to see Sirius get all flustered even when he knew no one would get it.

Madam Rosmerta laughed. "Alright, what can I get you lads? Two butterbeers?" she asked.

"Three, in fact," said James, pointing at a near-crawling Peter entering the pub.

"Coming right up," she said, winking at them and walking away.

"'Twas awfully nice of you to wait for me," Peter wheezed sarcastically, leaning on the back of an empty chair.

"We knew you'd get here eventually, Pete. I've ordered us all butterbeers," said James and Peter cheered up.

"Nice!"

The three of them took their seats at a tiny table just left of the entrance. It was quite draughty there. Every time someone walked in, they shivered. "This table sucks!" James declared, and they moved to another one.

"Much better," said Sirius.

"So how old do you reckon Madam Rosmerta is?" asked James, looking over at the bar.

"Don't know, between twenty or twenty-five?" said Sirius, looking over at her too.

"Oh, now we're going after older women? Forgotten all about Evans?" said Peter, pointing to the back of the pub with his thumb.

"Of course not! I was just asking for general knowledge," said James, now craning his neck to look at Lily. She was sitting at a table with Dorcas Meadowes and Anthony Jordan. They were all drinking butterbeers. Dorcas also had a gillywater. "Looks like their butterbeers are almost finished," he observed and grinned at the other two.

Just then, Madam Rosmerta arrived, bearing the butterbeers on a tray. "Here you are, lads."

"Rosy, James would like you to send another three over to that table in the back," said Sirius, pointing to Lily's table.

"Ah, Meadowes and Jordan. And who's the pretty redhead?" she asked.

"Evans, that's Lily Evans," said James, grinning like the Cheshire Cat and taking some coins out of his bag.

Madam Rosmerta laughed and ruffled James' hair, making it even messier. "Sure thing, love," she said, taking the money, and walked away.

"Hey check it out, I look better when my hair's messy and windswept," said James, looking at his reflection in the tray she had left behind.

"Merlin's saggy left testicle!" exclaimed Peter.

"Only _you_ think that, mate," said Sirius, chuckling. "I'm serious, and that wasn't even a pun."

But before James could retort, Madam Rosmerta summoned the tray back and poured three more butterbeers into goblets. Then, she made her way to Lily's table, swiftly dodging the flailing limbs of an old warlock on the way.  
"Here you go, lovelies," she said, placing the three goblets on their table. "Compliments from the three gentlemen over there," and she pointed to James, who raised his goblet.

"Madam Rosmerta, _nooo_ ," Lily whinged.

"Why not, honey?" she asked. "In fact, I think the messy haired one is sweet on you."

Dorcas laughed. "That's exactly why not, Madam Rosmerta," she said.

"Oh, are we not accepting these drinks?" asked Anthony, he was already halfway though his goblet.

"No," said Lily. "It's fine, go ahead."

Anthony and Dorcas raised their goblets at James and drank their butterbeers happily. Lily did the same, but a little awkwardly.

"Yes!" said James.

"That's all very well, but we forgot to-" Sirius began.

"Oh yeah!" said James. "There's a very important reason we're here." He held his goblet firmly. "We did it, lads! We've achieved the impossible. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" said the other two, and the clinked their goblets to his and took a sip each.

"We can do anything!" said Sirius enthusiastically, with his upper lip covered with foam.

While they were finishing off their second slice of Mango Meringue cake each, Lily, Dorcas and Anthony made their way to them. Lily cleared her throat.

"Hello Evans," said James. Lily didn't say anything.

"Hello Potter," said Dorcas politely. "Pettigrew, Black." James and Peter said hi, but Sirius just nodded, not even looking at her.

"Thanks for the drinks, Potter," said Anthony happily.

"It was nothing," said James, grinning.

"It wasn't nothing, Potter," said Lily crossly. "I only drank the butterbeer out of politeness, but if you do that again, I won't!"

"Fine," James said in a low voice.

"So, er, where's Remus?" asked Dorcas.

Sirius looked up at her, annoyed. _She's always asking about him... always wants to know what he's doing! Nosy, prissy little witch._

"He's in back the dorm, studying," said Peter, grinning. "We'll drag him down here next time!"

"Yeah, I feel like he studies a bit too much," said Lily and everyone laughed.

"What are you talking about, Evans," said James. "You're equally studious."

"You don't know me," Lily told him immediately, and flounced out of the pub.

"Er, well, see you back at school," said Dorcas, and the two of them hurried after her.

"Buying us butterbeers so we are obliged to think he's nice!" Lily ranted as they walked along the narrow path back to Hogwarts. "How cocky!"

"I think that was nice," said Anthony.

"That's exactly what he wants you to think!" said Lily. Then she turned to Dorcas. "And what's with that hair? It looks like that hideous old Quintaped-fur doormat beside Hagrid's bed!"

Anthony and Dorcas burst out laughing.

Sirius and James were both pouting. "I don't get Evans!" James exclaimed. "It was just a butterbeer."

"Yeah, well you know what Evans is like, she takes everything too seriously," said Peter. James shrugged.

Sirius glanced at James. _At least you can voice your frustration, mate. What a loser I am._

"I thought we were here to have fun today!" said Pete. "Come on, lads, we were celebrating!"

"Yes, you're right!" said James. "Nothing can bring me down today." They clinked their glasses again.

A while later, Sirius found himself in Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, browsing the various quills available there while Peter bought some parchment. "How boring," he said. "I cannot believe we're at a stationery shop. Can we please go to Zonko's next?" James tried to tickle him with a Golden eagle quill, and he swatted it away.

"I was thinking we should go see the Shrieking Shack," said James, putting the quill back. "Just from the outside. Is that okay?"

"Of course," said Peter, walking up to them, holding his roll of parchment.

So they walked up the slight uphill path to the Shack and stood there for a long time, gazing at it.

The wind sent the sound of footsteps their way, and they turned around. A middle-aged wizard was walking towards them, and Sirius and James tightened their grips on their wands.


	27. Puffskein Reproduction

As it turned out, the man was just a friendly villager. "Hello," he said merrily. "Are you three, students from the school?"

"Yes," said James.

"I can see you're in Gryffindor," he said to Sirius, pointing at his red and gold scarf.

"All of us," said Peter proudly.

The man laughed. "That's nice, I myself was in Ravenclaw," he said.

"Cool," said Sirius.

"The Shrieking Shack always attracts visitors, no matter how cold it is," he said, and they nodded. "Yes. My house is just down that lane there," he said, pointing towards some houses in the distance. The boys exchanged looks.

"That's nice," said James, smiling uncomfortably, thinking how very near it was to accurately hear any sounds.

"Not particularly," the man said, and gestured towards the Shack. "Sometimes you can hear too clearly, the spirits wailing in agony."

"Agony?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, that's what it sounds like to me, anyway," he said. "Sometimes, my wife says she can hear a human-like voice screaming in pain. We believe the souls residing in there are tormented by the past."

"Wow," whispered Peter.

"What do you mean?" asked James.

"Well, some of the village folk believe that the daughter of Hengist of Woodcroft was murdered by some violent muggles, and so her fiance still weeps about her to this day," he said.

"Oh, that sounds so scary, mister," said Peter, shivering slightly. The man nodded importantly.

After some time, the man left, saying that his wife would be waiting to serve him hot lunch.

"What that man said was frightening, right boys?" said Peter, and James hit him on the head.

"You're an idiot, Pete!" he said. "You _know_ the truth! Everything he just said was complete balderdash!"

"Yeah, he probably makes up a different story each week to scare innocent little students like yourself," said Sirius. Peter blushed scarlet, and James put his arm around him.

"Putting those Ravenclaw brains to good use," he said and he and Sirius laughed.

"But, why would he do that?" asked Peter.

"Cruel fun," answered James, and Peter resolved not to be so easily led by strangers. If only he had tried harder.

Sirius looked up at the Shack. "A human-like voice screaming in pain? Oh, Moony," he said sadly.

James patted his shoulder. "I think it might take some time for us to get used to his transformations." Sirius nodded glumly.

"Well, at least now we'll try not to make him come back looking like he's been through a slaughterhouse, yeah?" said Peter.

Sirius smiled at him. "Yeah, no more."

"Do you remember when we first entered it, not knowing it was the Shrieking Shack? When Remus was still hiding everything from us?" said James.

Peter chuckled. "Yeah, he was in the Hospital wing that day. I vomited because of the smell."

"The smell of blood," said Sirius gravely. He distinctly remembered wondering how Remus was not already dead, if he had really bled _that_ much.

"We should go there again, once before the full moon. To familiarise ourselves with the interiors," said James, and the other two nodded.

"Good idea," said Peter.

Remus had finished all his homework a long time ago, and now he was done revising three chapters in Charms. He shut the Charms textbook with a snap and threw it onto the side table. The others weren't back from Hogsmeade yet, so he went down to the Common room to see if Lily was around. She wasn't, but Marlene was. She was reading a book on Puffskeins. He walked over to her table and she looked up.

"Oh! Er, Lupin," she said, and smiled awkwardly. "Sit."

He grinned. "I think I gave you quite the scare, the other day," he said, sitting down next to her. "James told me. Sorry about that."

Marlene chuckled. "Yeah, well, now I know, so it doesn't seem that scary," she said.

"Really? You don't find it uncomfortable that Dumbledore allows a- someone like me to study here?" he asked.

"But, isn't that your own business?" she asked, surprised. "I'm not on the board of governors or something..."

"And if you were?" he asked.

"What do you want me to say, Lupin? That I think werewolves are lovely, harmless kittens?" she asked.

Remus chuckled. _She is so direct._ "Not at all, even I don't think that," he replied. "I just want your opinion, regardless of what you think I may want to hear."

"Right. So you can see what sort of person I am?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Er," said Remus.

Marlene smiled at that. "If Dumbledore did it," she began slowly. "There's a damn good reason he did it." Remus nodded in agreement. "But really though, even if everyone was against you, I'd still be with you, because of what you did for Sirius that day."

Remus blinked at her in awe. _Really?_

"You have my trust, Lupin" she said.

"Remus," he corrected her, smiling.

"Remus," she said.

"Remus?" someone said, and they turned around. It was Lily. "Hi..." she said, looking at both of them and feeling quite left out. "What's going on?" _Don't you dare steal Remus away from me. He's my friend!_

"Nothing," he said. Then, after a moment, he said, "I was just about to say that every time I see Marlene, she's reading a different book on Magical Creatures."

Marlene chuckled. "I love animals," she said.

Lily dumped her library books on the table and sat down beside him. "Yeah, she does."

"We have careers counselling later this year," said Remus. "You should definitely look into Creature Healing."

"Good idea, I'll do that," said Marlene. "What about you?" she then asked thoughtlessly.

"Oh... I'm not really sure," he mumbled, and she suddenly realised. _Right_. _Not many people would willingly employ a werewolf._

They stared at each other for a few moments. Lily looked between them, knowing she was missing something. It frustrated her immensely. "Oh, by the way," she said. "You got partnered with Jody Baker yesterday, how did it go?"

"Lily, she nearly drove me nuts! She thinks Pietro Bongo invented gematria!" he said.

"Oh Christ, forget I asked! Please never again tell me anything Jody Baker says! I don't understand how she comes to these kind of conclusions," said Lily, shaking her head. "Not only in Arithmancy, she once told me that she used the Elliot Wave principle to predict quiz answers and got an 'Exceeds Expectations' in a Defence practice test! I don't think she even knows what the Elliot Wave principle is!"

Remus laughed.

"I'm serious. Whenever I hear anything she says, I want to sit her down and tell her that she needs to go back to kindergarten and start from the beginning," she said.

"Whenever I hear anything she says, I get _really_ philosophical _really_ fast," he said, and the two of them chortled. "What even is life?!"

"Oh, she might have an interesting answer to that!" said Lily and they laughed again.

Marlene was watching their conversation. "My Godric," she said. "I just had a revelation."

"What is it?" asked Lily.

"You two are so alike, it's like you're the same person in two bodies," she replied, and the other two burst out laughing again.

"No, we're not!" said Remus.

"We are quite different, we disagree on many things," said Lily.

Marlene realised that it what a waste of time it would be to argue with them about it. "Look at this, did you know that polyspermy is quite common in Puffskeins? It's because multiple sperm are required to ensure successful fertilisation and a viable zygote," she told them.

Remus nodded. "Interesting. It also happens in zebras I think," he said. Marlene nodded and got back to her book. Lily and Remus grinned at each other, and Lily felt satisfied. She wasn't going to lose her best friend after all.

Later, Remus went back to the dorm, still wondering where the others had got to. _How long can a trip to Zonko's even take? What are they doing for five hours anyway? Hmmm, I wonder if they're planning a new prank for the Halloween feast. They must be. Thank Godric, I didn't let them go through with the original one... what were they even thinking?!  
_ Remus had, with much difficulty, talked James out of using an extremely dangerous weapon for a prank they were planning.  
"Oh, come on, Moony, it will be hilarious," James had whined, but he had somehow convinced him by citing that they would be setting a very dangerous example. What if someone copied their prank or imitated their idea and got seriously injured?  
As he wondered what the new prank might be, he thought he saw from the corner of his eye, something large and black, slink into the room. He turned quickly to see what it was, but it was gone. He could have sworn an animal of some kind had entered the room. Peter's bed was nearest to the door, and he wondered if it had slid under it.  
He got to his feet slowly and lowered himself to the ground, heart thudding and peeked under the bed. Two bright eyes shone from inside the darkness and Remus screamed. He crawled back and searched his pockets frantically for his wand, it wasn't there.

 _Okay, Remus, just calm down. It's just an animal of some kind. And it's probably nervous too. Don't freak out…_

He wanted to run out of the dorm, but to do that, he had to walk around Peter's bed, and so he thought not. Before he decided his next move, the animal came out from under the bed and Remus froze. It was a gigantic black dog, the size of the average bear. It stared at him intently. Remus remembered looking at pictures of a similar animal in his old Divination textbook. _The grim, was it called?_

The dog's scent was canine-ish to be sure, but there was something else mixed in it. Remus was so surprised. He tilted his head curiously and the dog copied him. Remus chuckled, and the dog barked twice, startling him. It trotted over and jumped up onto Sirius' bed and happily bounced on it.

Remus got up and sat down on his own bed and watched the dog bounce. "You're going to shed all over Sirius' bed, he won't be happy about that, doggy," he told the dog, and it barked at him again.

"Who are you?" he asked it, and the dog stopped bouncing, jumped off Sirius' bed and padded over to him.  
Remus tensed, but the dog simply sat at his feet and wagged its tail. It seemed friendly, so he warily put his hand on its head. The dog wagged its tail again. 'Thump, thump, thump,' the tail sounded on the cold stone floor. Remus grinned and patted its head properly. The dog enthusiastically climbed onto his bed and leaned in and licked his face. Remus chuckled and pushed it away.

"Where did you come from?" he asked it, and the dog simply turned in a circle before making itself comfortable beside him, resting its head on his knee. As he stroked the dog's head gently, he felt a sense of calm he hadn't felt in many months, it seemed. There was some familiar element about this dog, but Remus couldn't put his finger on it. _But then, how did he get inside the castle? Does Hagrid know this dog? Yeah, maybe... that's why he's so friendly._

He fiddled with the dog's paw. Its claws were long and weren't filed or cut, indicating that the dog wasn't someone's pet. "Padfoot…" he murmured to himself.

After ten or so minutes, Remus heard someone say his name, and he looked around. It was James and Peter, they were smiling.

"Lads! Look at this dog! He just walked in... do you know where he came from?" he asked them. The dog sat up straight when it saw them.

"Yeah, we know him," said James, and he and Peter walked over to the bed and sat down. James ruffled the dog's fur and it pretended to snap at his fingers. Remus chuckled.

"Where'd he come from, then? Is he Hagrid's?" Remus asked them.

"Very silky fur he has, doesn't he?" said James, stroking the fur.

"Yeah," said Remus, pulling lightly at the dog's fur.

"Quite familiar," said Peter, with a knowing smile. The it clicked.

 _This dog's fur feels exactly like Sirius's hair felt.  
_ "What are you saying?" Remus asked them, and they smiled again, and the dog looked at him. Remus stared at them. It felt incredulous to say it out loud, but, "S-Sirius?"

The dog whimpered and gently leaned on Remus, resting his head on his shoulder. Remus raised his hand to hug it, but then he pushed the dog away again. "Wait, what?!" he asked, bewildered.

"Animagus. This is Sirius' animagus form," explained James.

" _Animagus?!_ You mean…"

"Yes, we all became Animagi, Remus," Peter said, and knelt on the bed. He closed his eyes and in an instant, he shrunk into a large rat. It was like watching the video of a tree growing, in reverse. Remus yelped and covered his mouth.

"Watch this," James said delightedly, and moved away from the bed. He too closed his eyes, and his shaped morphed weirdly. Suddenly, there was a large deer, a stag with huge antlers, standing in the place of James. Remus gasped from behind his hands.

"Remember when James got the idea of Animagi in our second year?" said Sirius, sitting where the black dog had been sitting just a second ago. "Well, it's a reality now."

Remus could only blink at him.

"You never have to be alone again for your transformations, Moony!" said James, back in his human form again.

"Yeah, we're gonna be with you now!" said Peter, also back in human form.

"Wait a second," he said, gesturing for them to stop. They all looked at him, but he didn't know what to say. "What?" They chuckled.

"When did you do this?" he asked.

Peter and Sirius nodded at James, and he began the story. It was decided that James would be the one to tell Remus the story, because the other two were most likely going to slip up and reveal something unwanted. He told Remus about the research they had to do, the eating of the herbs, the potions, the spells, basically everything, except the frustration they had experienced during failed transformations and the body pains. He was also careful not to mention their dealings with the shady Mr. Babatunde. Sirius had met the guy by accident one day at Hog's Head, and by making small talk and Sirius revealing his family's interest in Dark Arts, the man also had ended up revealing his particular proclivity for dealing in black market items. Since then, the Marauders had periodically met up with the guy at Hog's head, and he had provided them with some very illegal potions ingredients. At extortionate prices of course.

Remus listened with eyes wide. "But, why did you do it?" he asked them.

"Are you seriously going to sit there and ask us that, Moony? We couldn't bear to see you get hurt every full moon, it was painful to watch you go through that every time," said James.

"We can keep an eye on you now, and you don't _ever_ have to worry about eating someone by accident," said Sirius with a small smile.

"I... you.. I don't know what to say... you shouldn't have!" Remus said, and his eyes filled with tears. "I'm not-"

"Do not say you're not worth it!" James interrupted him. "Just don't."

"Because you are," said Peter.

Remus sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I just cannot believe it!" he said, chuckling and wiping his eyes. "You're only fifteen years old, it's extraordinary!"

They laughed. "We think so too," said Sirius.

"How I attempt to repay even half of what you have done for me?" he asked.

"You don't," said James.

"Just say thanks, Moony," Peter told him.

"Thank you," he said, still in awe of his three best friends.

"We will be joining you day after tomorrow, Moony. We'll stop you from hurting yourself," James told him and Remus beamed at them.

"Did you call me _Padfoot_ , earlier?" asked Sirius, after a while.

"You understood me?" Remus asked.

"Of course! The brain is still human," he replied, grinning. "Er... kind of."

"That's a nice name. Padfoot," said James to Peter, "We should come up with nicknames for ourselves too!"

Sirius and Remus didn't seem to hear him, they had eyes only for each other.

"Then why did you lick my face?" Remus asked Sirius, grinning.

"Ugh... it's hard to explain, that was a dog reflex," Sirius told him, and Remus chuckled.

"Moony," Sirius began, and Remus put his hand on Sirius' and smiled. "I made a mistake," he continued. "I agree, it was a huge one, a terrible one! One even I can't forgive myself over. But I miss you, Moony. I can't bear not talking to you, it's been hell… I swear I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, _please_ can we be friends again? Please?"

"This is all your fault."

"What is?"

"Well... it's obviously impossible to hate you _now_!"

Sirius smiled and cupped Remus' face with his hands. For one heart stopping moment, Remus thought he was going to kiss him. But Sirius just hugged him.

"Thanks!" said Sirius, when he let him go. Remus blinked confusedly.

"By Jove, I thought this would never happen!" Peter exclaimed dramatically and threw himself onto them, hugging them, squeezing them both tightly, and James just chuckled, satisfied.

"Er," said Remus. The other three looked up at him as he got to his feet and put on his coat. "I think I'll just go for a walk."

"Want us to come with you?" asked James, a little concerned.

"That's alright," said Remus in a low voice and left the room. They heard his boots go down the stairs.

Remus huffed as he stared at the lake. He was so incredibly overwhelmed and his mind was whirring with a thousand revelations. All those times the other three had disappeared over the past two years and had come back looking smug. He'd always assumed it was yet another successful prank played. That one time he had asked all three of them separately where they had been the night before, and all three of them had given him very different excuses. He had just assumed it was a prank so illegal, they just didn't want to tell him. Now he realised it must have been this. Preparation to become _Animagi!_ Of course they wouldn't have told him, he'd never have allowed it. He wasn't worth all that work! Keeping his lycanthropic secret was one thing, he knew it didn't hurt them. But risking their lives to help him in this manner?! He literally couldn't think of a single reason why he deserved this kind of generosity. It was too much. All _too much_. Why were they being so good to him? He'd done nothing for them. And Sirius! He couldn't even begin to gauge his kindness.  
 _Why? Why does he have to be so good to me? And why did I think he was going to kiss me just then?_

James retrieved the Marauders' Map from his trunk and searched for Remus' label and found him at the edge of the lake. He could guess Remus' feelings; it would have been quite overwhelming. But he hoped that Remus was happy they'd done this for him, and that his guilt and feelings of being undeserved wouldn't cloud his joy too much.

Remus sighed and sat down on a flat-ish rock by the lake. He already knew the answer to that. He'd actually known it for a while now, but today he knew he had to start acknowledging it. He liked Sirius. In a romantic way. He liked him so much that it was hard to ignore now. He could no longer ignore it and hope it would go away _.  
It wasn't the wolf's mating instinct I had felt in the cubicle that night, it was me! Merlin's Monocle, what am I to do now? Should I tell him?  
_He decided against it. After everything Sirius had done for him, ( _Heck, I hadn't even been speaking to him for the past few months and he still went ahead and did this for me_ ) he owed him so much. He wasn't going to do or say _anything_ that would sabotage their relationship again. _Only an insane person would do something like that!_


	28. Siren and Selkie

Lily and Remus stepped into the Gryffindor common room, laughing their heads off. They had just caught a couple having sex in a broom cupboard on the fifth floor. After slamming the door shut and awkwardly yelling at them for being inappropriate, they ran almost all the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

"I- for a moment, when I saw that girl's hair, I thought that was Marlene and Gomez!" she said, barely able to form words.

"Merlin! Me too!" Remus said, and they laughed again.

When they sobered up, Lily looked up at Remus thoughtfully.

"What?" he asked her.

"You and Black fight a lot, don't you?" she said, and Remus chuckled.

"Well, you only fight with the ones closest to you, right?"

"You know last year, when you two had that huge fight?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he said, thinking she would ask him why they fought.

"I wanted to know, did Marlene escalate the problem? I know she can be a bit annoying like that sometimes," she said.

"Nah, she didn't. But that's just Marlene, right? No awkwardness or anything. She's kind of fearless, and it's actually awesome!" he said, smiling at her.

Lily looked up at him, shaking her head again.

" _What_?" he asked her.

"You seem to constantly recognise all these amazing qualities in other people. I've rarely heard you say anything negative about anyone, without a _really_ good reason. But on the other hand, you're always putting yourself down, noticing only what you think is your bad side. Marlene is _fearless_ , but you're an _arsehole_ for caring about you best friend?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

Remus grinned sheepishly, looking down at his feet.

"I don't think you _have_ a bad side," she said, matter-of-factually.

"But I do have a dark side," he said, and she raised her eyebrows at him again. "You're the one with no bad side, Lily!"

"Oh, you don't know what you're talking about!" she said, blushing slightly.

"Well, there you go," he whispered in her ear, and she giggled. In that moment, he thought she looked so adorable, (in a completely platonic way) that he couldn't resist pulling her close and kissing her on her head.

"Excuse me, what?" Mary said to the other two. They had been watching Remus and Lily.

"Lupin has some _cojones,"_ said Marlene, and the other two stared at her. "Balls. He has some balls. Merlin, I've been hanging with Gomez for far too long," she explained.

"Marlene!" exclaimed Alice, outraged.

"It's just an expression for saying someone has a lot of guts! You're a big prude, Alice," said Mary.

"Alice just needs Longbottom's dick in her already, and then she'll never-" Marlene began.

"Oh my God!" said Alice.

"Yep, that's what you'll say when-"

"Marlene, just stop it!" said Alice, angrily. "That's enough!"

"What now?" asked Lily, in a long-suffering voice, sitting down next to her.

"Are you and Lupin dating now?" Mary asked her immediately.

"What? No!" said Lily.

"He kissed your forehead. We saw it," said Marlene.

"Just in a friendly way, God! He's like my brother. Brotherly vibes only!"

"Hmmm, pity. He's so tall and intense..." said Mary.

"Then _you_ ask him out!" Lily told her, and Mary giggled. "I wish I could do it, you know, just to spite Potter!" she then wondered aloud, her fingers tapping on the table deviously.

"That would make him _very happy_ ," Alice muttered sarcastically.

Mary burst out laughing. "Oh my God, do it!" she exclaimed.

"It'll at least be fun to watch…" goaded Marlene. Even Alice looked excited, but Lily shook her head.

"Remus will never do it, period," she said.

"He's too loyal, that one," said Alice.

"Why? Why so much loyalty? Where does it come from?" Lily asked, more to herself. Marlene smiled to herself.

"Well, friends are usually loyal, aren't they?" asked Alice.

"But they basically worship the ground each other walk on, even _Pettigrew's_ ," said Mary, nodding.

Alice laughed. "I know it's wrong to say this, but someone worshipping the ground Pettigrew walks on is hard to believe, he's such a gollumpus!" she said, and the girls chuckled.

"No, what I mean is… Bollocks! I don't know how to say this without sounding crass," Lily began, turning to look at the Marauders.

"No no, I think I get it, Lily. Basically, you understand why they would be worshipping the ground Remus walks on, because you know he's so _brilliant_ , but you can't understand why it happens the other way around too. Am I right?" said Marlene, with a smirk.

The others giggled, and Lily said nothing, but appeared slightly abashed.

"You want to figure out what's so special about Potter, don't you?" Alice added, glancing at the Marauders.

"Oh! You've nailed it, Alice!" said Marlene, and the girls cackled. Lily spluttered.

"Now now, ladies. Let's not all stare at them again, you remember what happened last time," said Mary and they laughed again, turning back to their books.

James was observing Lily and Remus too.

"Jealous?" Sirius asked him. Peter and Sirius smirked at James.

"No! I was wondering what Remus told her to make her blush like that. I wish she looked at _me_ that way," said James.

"You've never even had a proper conversation with her," said Peter.

"How am I supposed to talk to her if she won't even look at me?" moaned James.

"That's true. Here he comes, you can ask him yourself," said Sirius.

Remus sat down and smiled at them.

"What were you guys talking about?" asked Sirius.

"Lily reckons I don't have a bad side. But I told her I _do_ have a dark side, though," said Remus, winking at Sirius and making him grin.

"What James would like to know is why she was blushing," said Peter, poking James' shoulder.

Remus laughed. "I told her she was the one with no bad side, that's why she was blushing. Girls love it when you compliment them, Prongs. You should try it," he told him.

"Easy for you to say. She _likes_ talking to you!" said James. "Plus, I do compliment her! All the time, you know this!"

"You mean those _cringy_ things you're always telling her?" Peter asked him, and James pouted.

"Er, you do sound a bit like you're a medieval prince or something," said Sirius, and he and Peter covered their mouths, trying to laugh silently.

"Yeah, have you been taking romance tips from Sir Cadogan?" asked Peter, and they burst out laughing loudly.

"I hate you two," said James, crossing his arms angrily.

Remus chuckled. "I meant _honest_ compliments," he explained patiently.

"But I do think all those things I tell her!" said James. "I'm being honest every time!"

"Oh really? Like when you told her her eyes had the vitreous lustre of Colombian emeralds?" asked Sirius, chuckling.

"Don't they? I think so, when I went to Paris, I saw a gigantic one in a museum-" James began, but he stopped when the other two chortled again.

Remus kicked Sirius under the table.

"Ow! What?" Sirius asked him, rubbing his knee.

Remus rolled his eyes. _Kicks under the table are supposed to be secret, aren't they?_  
"Padfoot, you flirt with girls at every occasion, don't you? why don't you help him, instead of making fun of him?" he said.

"I'm not flirting with them at _every_ occasion!" said Sirius, annoyed.

" _Oh Cecilia, I've always thought you were hot…"_ said Remus, imitating Sirius.

Sirius gaped at him, flabbergasted, while James and Peter guffawed.

"What an epic day, boys. Am I right?" said James, gazing lazily off into the distance.

"Oh, don't remind me of that night! It was horrible!" said Peter, and James patted him on the shoulder.

"Sorry, mate," he said softly.

"Well, if you must know, I stopped flirting with her when-" Sirius began.

"When James returned. Yeah I know," said Remus.

"No, actually. When you…" Sirius faltered. Remus stared at him. Sirius blinked, not knowing where he was going with this.

"When he what, Padfoot?" prompted Peter.

Sirius glanced at Peter, then back at Remus. "I don't know Remus, you seemed like you were agitated about something that night. What was it?"

"What? N-no, I was just reading my book…!" said Remus. _Calm down!_

"Right," said Sirius, and Remus knew he didn't believe him.

"Have you guys started on the -fig assignment yet?" asked Remus, opening his books.

Sirius looked away. _Yup. There's the smooth change of topic. But every time he avoids a question, it just makes me doubly curious to find out everything!  
_

"Not yet, we were writing out stuff for Potions tomorrow," said James. They all opened their books and discussed the day's lesson.

"So. Cecilia actually seemed like a pretty fun gal to me," said Peter innocently, after a while. Remus didn't look up from his page, he kept writing.

Sirius glanced up at Remus, and then turned to Peter. "Then why don't _you_ ask her out, Peter?" he said, and Remus paused in his writing.

James and Peter both looked at him, perplexed, and he shrugged. They exchanged looks and went back to their homework. Then he glanced at Remus, he was writing again. So, he also took out his quill, and got started on his homework. He turned a page in his textbook. _What were you so worried about, Remus?_

Remus dotted the end of his paragraph. _What's going on, Sirius?_

They glanced up at each other at the same time, and then couldn't look away.

"Just to clarify, I didn't start it. I just wanted to have a normal conversation. She was the one flirting with me," Sirius said to Remus. Remus blinked. "You know how these girls are," Sirius continued. "Half of them are terrified of me because I'm a Black. The other half just want to date me."

Remus opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of anything to say. _I don't understand, why are you telling me this?_

Sirius waited for Remus to say something, but he didn't. _I just felt like I needed to say that._

"Right," said Remus finally, and Sirius went back to his work. For Remus, the scenario in which Sirius felt the same way about him was just so impossible, that he didn't want to give himself any false hope by jumping to conclusions. He'd decided that day by the lake that he wouldn't try and pursue this matter again. But this brief conversation between them, it gave a small part of him hope. The carefree part of him... the non-realist part of him... the optimist part which he always kept hidden away so securely... that part of him hoped. Against all odds. And he gazed at Sirius with so much affection in his eyes.

James thought about the conversation too. _Weren't they supposed to be helping me talk to Lily properly? How did the conversation take such an odd turn? If Sirius flirted with some girl, why was it such a big deal that it needed such a discussion?_  
James looked up at them to ask them this, but when he saw the way Remus was looking at Sirius, he couldn't ask. He felt like that would be intruding in something really private. _But what private?_ He cleared his throat and looked down at the parchment in front of him.

"You alright, mate?" Peter asked him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he told him, and couldn't resist looking up at Remus, who looked a little disconcerted. "So, Moony. How are things going with Ms. Meadowes?" he asked, grinning.

He saw Remus glance unconsciously at Sirius before saying, "Um. Dorcas and I are just friends."

"What do you mean? I thought you fancied her," asked Peter.

"To be honest, I never fancied her," Remus replied.

"You asked if she had a boyfriend?" Peter said.

Remus grinned guiltily. "Yeah… about that. She's an amazing girl and I look up to her, but I didn't feel anything... you know, _romantic_ for her," he said. He knew this for sure, since he knew now what exactly it meant to have feelings for someone. Because he had feelings for Sirius.

"Does she know that?" James asked him.

"Yeah of course, we've discussed it. It wouldn't even have come up actually, but Jordan apparently wanted to know if anything was ever going to happen between us," he said, and chuckled at the thought. "On a more serious note, I think she wants to get involved in the war," he added.

"What, you mean she wants to fight?" asked James.

"Yes," said Remus. James looked thoughtful.

"Why didn't you tell us?" asked Sirius.

"Well, you weren't supposed to know… yet. It's just something us Prefects were discussing the other day." said Remus, bracing himself.

"What? This isn't a _Prefect_ thing! It's a good vs evil thing. Everyone has a right to fight!" said James vehemently.

"I know, James. I don't know any more details. It was only mentioned a few days ago, and I promise I'll tell you guys if there is anything concrete happening," Remus replied. James looked mollified for the moment, and everyone went back to their homework. Or they were pretending to, each had their own train of thought to climb onto.

That hadn't been what Sirius had asked about. _Why didn't Remus tell us that he and Dorcas were just friends?  
_ But it seemed silly to point it out now, since the conversation had ended with the topic of the war. _But Remus is straight. And he's your best friend! It doesn't matter whether he and Dorcas are friends or lovers._

James and Peter thought of the war, one wanted to fight and the other wanted to get as far away from it as possible.

Remus thought of Dorcas. _What if we had ended up actually dating?_ "It's a good thing, though," he said.

"What?" asked Peter.

"That Dorcas and I didn't actually get together. Seems _ridiculous_ now, even the notion of me, having a girlfriend!" said Remus, remembering the conversation he had with Marlene about careers, earlier that month.

James knew where this was going. "Remus-" James started.

"No, Prongs. Just think. Even if there wasn't a war, I'm a werewolf. Not only that, no one would hire me-because I'm a bloody werewolf. So I'd be a broke werewolf. Why the fuck would I put a girl through that? I'm nothing but a burden." There was a long silence. Remus glanced his friends, their faces looked utterly miserable.

"Sorry boys, didn't mean to depress you like this," he said, looking guilty again. "Let's just forget it and enjoy school for now."

"You know, Moony, you don't need a girlfriend," James told him.

"Yeah, I have you guys," Remus said, smiling.

"Exactly," said James, grinning awkwardly and making Remus nervous. _No! Has he guessed I like Sirius? That would be mortifying._  
Sirius on the other hand, was surprised. _Maybe James isn't as clueless as he pretends to be; maybe he's guessed I like Moony. Maybe._  
James pulled his textbook closer and attempted to read. No one could think of anything else to say. Everyone's heads were full of thoughts. All except Peter, because today, he was hilariously oblivious to the drama going on around him. Sirius and Remus continued glancing at James every few seconds, wondering what he had meant by 'exactly'.

"Ugh! I can't concentrate," Sirius finally said, pushing his books away.

"Neither can I. I've been pretending this whole time," said James, chuckling.

"Merlin's balls, me too!" said Remus, and they all laughed.

"Actually, I've been doing pretty well," said Peter, grinning, showing them his essay.

"Good for you, Wormtail."

It was after midnight on Friday. The Gryffindor fifth years had just finished their Astronomy practical and were headed back to the Tower. And Peter was hungry. Ravenous. "I could eat a hippogriff, James," he moaned.

"I don't understand why you feel this hungry after Astronomy," said James.

"It happens every time without fail," said Remus.

"Please, James, come to the kitchens with me. Pleeeeeeeeease!" Peter begged.

"Pete, I'm tired! I'm happy to lend you my cloak, go ahead," said James, as they stepped through the Portrait hole. "You used to go down on your own all the time before!"

"But Marlene said we should stick together!"

"You're gonna be invisible, Wormy," whispered Sirius.

"I don't care. Someone is going to come with me," said Peter. "Please! Plehez! Ples! Plaaas!"

"James, just go with him," Remus advised.

James rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you, a Prefect, are condoning this."

"Do not pull that crap with me, I'll kick your arse!" said Remus, pretending to get angry.

"Okay, okay!" said James, chuckling. "Sorry Prefect Lupin, I'll go now." and he dodged a kick from Remus. Two minutes later, he grinned and disappeared under the cloak along with Peter and the dormitory door shut, with promises to bring back brownies.

"I'm going to brush," said Sirius and walked to the bathroom.

"But I asked them to bring back some brownies, don't you want one?" Remus asked.

"Oh yeah," said Sirius, sitting back down on his bed. Remus nodded and took out a book from his bag.

"How are you able to read after reading so much the whole day?" Sirius asked. "I'm exhausted! My brain's completely..."

"Saturated?"

"Yeah!"

"I know the feeling-"

"Do you? I've never heard you complain about it, though," said Sirius.

Remus smiled. "Doesn't happen often."

Sirius sniggered. "Nerd."

"I'm not reading course work now," said Remus, showing him the title.

"I can't read Runes, Remus," said Sirius. "And I can't believe you're reading Runes for fun."

"This isn't Runes!" said Remus. "It's Mermish. And only the title is in Mermish. It loosely translates to, 'The dance of the Lion fish'. It's quite a good read."

"What's it about?"

"It's about a siren who falls in love with a selkie woman on one fateful adventure up a river," said Remus excitedly. "But the selkie's already engaged to the merchieftain's son."

"That sounds interesting," said Sirius, smiling at Remus' enthusiasm. "Well, I'll just wash my face and be back."

Remus nodded at him. It was clear that Sirius didn't get the hint. _The two queer women in the story are obviously you and I...? Hmm, he didn't get it. Or maybe he did, and that's why he left. Oh, that's great._  
Remus sighed and opened his book. _But then, he didn't say anything against it either. So, I'm guessing that's a good thing?_  
Remus knew that Sirius wouldn't get such a convoluted hint, he was more of a straightforward person. But for Remus, being straightforward was out of the question. He could never directly tell him. It was impossible.

Sirius came back out of the bathroom, wiping his face with his towel. He looked at Remus reading the book. _How does he do it? How does he read so much?_  
He walked back to his bed and sat down. Then he regretted it immediately. _Drat, I should have sat down next to him._  
He looked up at Remus. _It will look so odd if I get up and go sit next to him now. Ugh, what even am I thinking? He's reading. He doesn't even care. Should I go sit next to him...? I want to! I should just do it. Why am I overthinking this? All I have to do is get up slowly and walk over there._  
Then Sirius realised that he couldn't get his body to move. It was like it was paralysed with fear. Like a mooncalf in front of a full-grown acromantula. _What is wrong with me?! Feet, get on the ground._  
They somehow obliged. _Thank you._  
Then he slowly stood up, and clutched his bedpost for dear life. He couldn't even look at Remus. _Oh Merlin, this is so stupid. There's probably no one on this planet who is as lame as me._  
He finally looked over at Remus. Remus was sitting to one side of his bed. As if he was expecting Sirius to come over and sit beside him. _People don't normally do that, right? They sit on the middle of their bed to read, and only move when someone comes up to them. Right? Right?! Or maybe that was just an accident and I'm just seeing things I want to see._  
Walking the few feet between their two beds had never been as difficult as it was now. _Why is this so cringe? Why can't I walk properly? Keep one foot in front of the other, Sirius you idiot! Sweet Salazar, how do people walk?!_  
Somehow, he reached Remus' bed and sat next to him. But Remus didn't even acknowledge him.

Which is what Sirius thought, but Remus was actually so aware of him, that he unconsciously held his breath for a few moments. He was so glad Sirius had come to sit beside him.

Sirius scratched his head. _That's normal because you don't acknowledge your friends._ "Er, so what's going on in the story?" he asked Remus.

"There's a big racing event going on in honour of the merchieftain's son's engagement," said Remus. They fell silent after that.

After a few minutes, Sirius put his head on Remus' shoulder. "Moony, I'm so glad we're friends again."

Remus smiled. "Me too, Sirius." _Why does Sirius' hair always smell so nice?_

By the time the other two returned, Sirius was fast asleep on his shoulder. "Look at him, he looks like a puppy," said James, chuckling.

"I should have let him brush his teeth," said Remus, biting into a walnut brownie.


	29. Essay on Clabberts

James and Sirius were late for breakfast that Friday. As they hurried in, the Great Hall was noisier than usual. They glanced at each other. "What's going on?" asked Sirius, James just shrugged. But they found out soon enough.

Remus worriedly pushed the _Prophet_ into James' hands as soon as he arrived at the table. He sat down beside him and looked down at it. On the front page was a large photograph of a burned down shop front and another photograph of the sky where the smoky figure of a skull and a snake coming out of it's mouth were floating. "That shop in Diagon Alley was attacked last night and it's owner killed," he informed him.

"What? Do they know why?" asked Sirius, taking the newspaper.

"They don't know, but someone's saying it's because the owner was a muggleborn..." Remus said with a scared expression. "His name was Dylan Hughes, he ran this old second-hand bookshop... we go to his shop every year to buy my books, mum's always excited to talk to him and his wife 'cos they're from Cardiff too."

"Oh Moony, I'm so sorry," said James.

"But why would someone kill a man just because he's muggleborn?" Remus asked defeatedly.

"It says that the curse used to burn down the shop was called-" Sirius froze.

"What?" asked Peter.

Sirius looked up. "Apparently this was the work of dangerous dark wizard You-know-who and his followers. Who the hell is _You-know-who_?"

"Voldemort, Sirius," said James. "Don't you know? People are so frightened of him that they're refusing to say him name now. It's silly if you ask me. And the _Prophet_ too, propagating the fear... idiots!"

"His followers are called _Death eaters_ ," said Sirius. "Merlin. It says that this skull-and-snake is a signature of you-kn- of Voldemort."

"Maybe we shouldn't say his name either," said Peter. James and Sirius looked at him angrily.

The whole school was talking of nothing but the attacks and most of the muggleborns either looked angry or frightened. As they walked to their first class, James looked for Lily and spotted her a few feet behind them, she was looking thoughtful. He pulled Sirius close to him. "Are you alright?" he whispered. Sirius nodded. "What happened?" he persisted.

Sirius grimaced. "I'm not sure. The Prophet says that _Fiendfyre_ was used to burn down the shop- Grandfather would always tell us the story of this dark witch named Gormlaith Gaunt, who once used _Fiendfyre_ to burn down a cottage. Bellatrix was so fascinated by the story that she asked grandfather to teach her how to make _Fiendfyre_ -"

James abruptly stopped walking and gaped at him. "What the heck are you saying? Your cousin became one of those- what? Death eaters?!"

"Sirius sighed. "I don't know, mate. Over summer, I heard Bella and Cissy talking about him, you know. Bellatrix sounded like she was already in love with him-"

"Great Godric! Bellatrix became a death-eater and cast _Fiendfyre_ to burn down someone's shop!" whispered James, looking horrified.

"I am not sure! It could have been anyone, I mean anyone who is interested in Dark Arts might know how to cast _Fiendfyre_ ," said Sirius, looking up and spotting Peter and Remus at the top of the stairs, waiting for them. Peter waved at them. He nudged James and they started walking again.

"Let's not tell Peter just yet, he would be frightened," said James, quickly adjusting his expression.

"Too close to home, huh?"

"I didn't mean it like that-"

"Don't worry, I get it," Sirius said and smiled.

Saturday was another Hogsmeade weekend, but Remus decided that it would be a revision weekend. "No Hogsmeade, lads. No games... And _no_ pranks," he said, as he dragged the other three to the library after an early breakfast. "Over this weekend, we are going to try and revise everything we learnt in Defence, up until now."

"What!" Peter yelped.

"Everything we learnt in fifth year only," Remus added, shaking his head. Peter sighed in relief.

People in the library, mostly Ravenclaws, were astonished to see the Marauders walk in and take their seats in the Defence section. James pulled Remus into the chair next to him and pushed the Defence textbook into his hands. "Alright men, let's do this!" he said, rubbing his palms together, and Remus smiled at his enthusiasm. This was James' nature. He never whined about studying like the other two. The four Marauders sat, working diligently for the next twenty minutes.

Then Sirius had a question about the amount of energy released in a curse, compared to a hex or a charm. "I read about it, I know I did," said Remus, tapping the table with his fingers. "Yes! It's in that book called, _Dissection of a hex_."

Sirius nodded and stood up to get the book. He browsed through Aisle 'D', found the book, and was bringing it back to their table, when a girl with a pixie cut walked up to him and grinned.

Sirius smiled at her and said, "Hey Amanda, how's it going?"

Amanda Wallace smiled back and said, "Pretty good."

James looked up from his notebook and spotted them talking. "Moony, Moooony!" he said, shaking Remus' shoulder.

"What?" Remus whispered.

"What are they talking about? Can you hear them?" Remus and Peter looked over at Sirius and Amanda.

"I don't think we're supposed to eavesdrop, Prongs," said Remus.

"Oh, come on, Moony, it's just Sirius. Please please _pleeeease_?"

"Alright, alright!" said Remus and looked over at them again. James and Peter grinned at each other.

"Nice day, isn't it?" he heard Amanda say.

"Gorgeous," replied Sirius. Remus tilted his head. _That's odd_.

"What?" asked Peter, eagerly.

"They're talking about the weather. Sirius just said, 'it's a gorgeous day'," Remus told them.

The other two laughed. It was the coldest Saturday of November. "He is flirting with her!" whispered Peter.

"This feels somewhat evil," said Remus nervously.

"In a bit, I was thinking of going to Hogsmeade to buy some stationery. I remember you said yesterday in Muggle Studies that you needed a new quill? Wanna come with?" Amanda asked Sirius.

"I would, but I promised Remus we would study with him today, and he'd get pissed if I don't. So, I can't," Sirius said apologetically.

"Remus? Who is that?" she asked.

"Remus Lupin. He's- He's one of my best friends," said Sirius.

"The Prefect? But, isn't Potter your best friend?" she asked.

"He is, they both are. So is-"

She chuckled. "That's a good joke."

Sirius frowned. "It's not a joke. We have to study. Sorry, Amanda," he said with a finality in his tone.

James nudged Remus. "What are they saying now?"

"She just asked him to Hogsmeade," mumbled Remus.

"Holy Merlin!" said James and Peter at the same time.

"But he said no," mumbled Remus. He felt a little mortified. _So what do people think Pete and I are? Just hangers-on?_

"Oh," said Peter and James chuckled.

"No worries. Maybe another time then," she said brightly, touching his elbow.

"Yeah, maybe," he replied and she left.

The three of them watched as Sirius walked back to their table and sat down. "Okay, do you know which chapter it was in?" he asked Remus, who didn't even look up from the passage he was writing out.

James chortled. "Amanda's an awesome chaser. And she's really chill as well. It wouldn't kill you to go on an actual date once in a while," he teased, smirking at him.

"You heard us?" Sirius asked, and then looked at Remus and narrowed his eyes. "You sly wolf." Remus pretended not to hear him.

"Oh, that's one of chasers on the Ravenclaw team! That's where I know her from," said Peter, and James nodded.

"Yeah, she's also in our Muggle Studies class. Remus didn't want to, but I made him listen in," he said, grinning.

But Sirius was looking at Remus, who seemed mad. _Oh, shit._

"Yeah, you should have. James is right," Remus said casually, still writing.

"About what?" asked Sirius.

"You should've accepted the invitation," he said, finally looking at him. "I wouldn't have gotten _pissed_ if you had a date."

"I didn't mean it like that-" Sirius began.

"Why not? That's the only reason you're here, isn't it?" he said a little louder.

"But-"

"Look, if the only reason you're not going out with someone is cos your friend might get angry, then that's ridiculous," said Remus. "Go ahead. No one's stopping you."

"What happened?" asked Peter.

"Sirius is only here because he doesn't want to deal with me getting angry," accused Remus.

"I didn't say that," said Sirius crossly.

"Don't lie," Remus told him.

"I'm not lying, I do want to study," said Sirius.

"Why didn't you tell her that, then? Why mention me at all?" Remus asked.

"Because no one will believe me if I tell them I want to study instead of going on a date! I'm Sirius Black, remember?!" said Sirius.

"Yeah, even I don't!" Remus retorted, making Sirius scrunch up his mouth with rage.

"Guys... please don't fight again," Peter pleaded, putting his hands on their hands.

"I don't want to feel like I'm forcing you all to sit here and study, alright? You can go ahead and do whatever you want, no need to make _me_ the excuse," Remus said to all of them.

"That's crap, I want to study, I want to get good OWLs," said James immediately.

Peter hesitated. That's the exact reason why he was here. He didn't want to deal with Remus being angry and fussy all day. _I'd rather do my Astronomy essay, you know._

James looked at Peter, his eyebrows raised, urging him to say something.

"Well... er... sorry Remus, it's just that I had that Astronomy essay to finish," said Peter.

"Oh," said Remus awkwardly. "Then, do that."

Peter cheered up. "Will you help me search for the books I need?" he asked enthusiastically, and Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go," he said, and they both went to the Astronomy section, leaving a fuming Sirius and a chuckling James at the table.

Remus sat on the floor of the aisle, flipping through some books. "I remember, it was the sixth edition, Wormy. The new ones don't have it," he was telling Peter.

Peter climbed a ladder, searching for the book, then he stopped and turned around to look down at Remus. "Moony, I know what you're feeling right now, but you don't ever have to feel like you're forcing your company on us. Of course _they_ might be best friends, but we _are_ the Marauders," he said.

"I know. But it's just the way he said it," said Remus, looking up at him.

Peter blinked in thought. "Yes, but the four of us, I think... we balance each other out, it's... it's needed," he told him, nodding.

"Thanks, Pete," said Remus, smiling up at him.

"And besides, Sirius would've probably said anything to get out of that date, it didn't look like he likes Amanda at all," said Peter, and resumed his search for the sixth edition.

That cheered Remus up.

Back at the table, Sirius folded his arms crossly. "Why am I always wrong?"

James chuckled again. "It's your own fault, who asked you to say that?"

"Well, it's the truth, isn't it?" said Sirius.

James shrugged and picked up his quill again. "I for one, am glad it's the truth. Do you think there's anyone else who bothers about our grades?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, but he knew James was right. And when Remus and Peter returned, he straightened up in his seat and watched Remus sit down, avoiding his eye.

"I'll go and get my essay then, it's in the dorm," said Peter, mournful at the thought of walking all the way to the Tower and back. Remus nodded and he walked away.

"Remus," Sirius said and Remus looked up at him. "Sorry about that."

Remus stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. Instead of apologising for making that comment, it felt like he was apologising for the girl being interested in him. _Shit! Because,_ that _was what I was actually angry about... Did I behave like that because I was jealous?!_ "Fuck!" he whispered to himself.

"What?" asked Sirius, confused.

"No. No, _I'm_ sorry," Remus said, shaking his head.

"But-"

"It's fine, let's just forget about it," said Remus heartily, fake-grinning.

Sirius smiled brightly and nodded, filling Remus' stomach with butterflies. Then he pushed the open book under Remus' nose. "Is this what you were talking about?" he asked, pointing at a paragraph.

It took Remus a few seconds to remember what they'd been discussing before the whole Amanda thing happened, then he nodded. "Yeah, yeah, this exactly," he said, trying to sound normal. He took the book and turned a few pages rapidly, while looking around the library. He spotted Lily near the Journals section. Her dark red hair was like a beacon, easy to spot in a crowd. Then he turned the book and gave it back to Sirius. "Look, read this whole chapter, it's a small chapter, but with the examples the author gives, you'll understand the whole concept perfectly," he said quickly and stood up. He needed to get out of there to clear his head. "I'll be right back. I think I see..." he let his voice trail away and left.

"Where's he going?" asked Sirius.

"Probably spotted Evans somewhere," said James, grinning.

As Remus made his way towards Lily's table, he spotted Severus hovering nearby. He looked like he wanted to go and talk to Lily, but was hesitating. _Best to leave Snape alone…  
_ Remus paused, and then he turned left and walked into a random aisle and leaned against the books. _What are you doing, Remus? Stop being ridiculous! Even if he was gay, what do you expect? That he'll go out with you? He's Sirius Black! Why would he want to go out with a dumb werewolf like you, when he can literally have anyone?! Yeah, when he can have Amanda. Oh, forget Amanda! You should just focus on studying and getting good grades, it's the only thing you deserve. You don't deserve anything else... especially after everything they've done for you. You are_ not _fucking things up again for something stupid like a crush._

Sirius stared after Remus with a look of longing. Then he sighed loudly.

"What is it?" James asked him condescendingly, not looking up from his notes.

"Prongs, I am done for... finished! Kaput!"

James looked at him, perplexed. "Huh?"

Sirius made a miserable face. "What's the use?! It's not like it's gonna go anywhere! I'd rather just forget about it!" he said, looking up at the ceiling.

"What are you on about, mate?" asked James.

"Remus," said Sirius, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

But James looked back at him blankly.

"He's the reason I said no to Amanda?" said Sirius, in the same manner.

James frowned. "Remus likes Amanda?"

If there had been a video camera filming them, Sirius would've stared at it, like in _The Office_. James Potter _was_ as clueless as he looked. He had guessed nothing. Sirius shook his head. "James, sometimes I wonder…"

" _What?_ " asked James. "You just told me you said no to her because of him… does he disapprove of Amanda?"

Sirius sighed again. " _No._ "

"So, you don't actually like Amanda, right?"

"No, Prongs. I don't care about _Amanda_. I'm a homo, remember?" he whispered impatiently.

"Oh yeah, er… of course I remember," then James looked like he finally understood. "Ah, then who _do_ you care about?"

Sirius was about to speak, but James grinned. "Oh, wait, Remus knows who it is, doesn't he?"

 _Sweet Salazar, he can be really thick sometimes._ Sirius held James' head firmly in his hands and spoke. "It's Remus, James."

"Merlin's pants!" said James loudly. Everyone looked around at them curiously, and Sirius shushed him.

"This is a library, James," he informed him.

"You like Moony?" James leaned in and whispered excitedly.

Sirius shook his head. "Prongs… I _love_ him."

James struggled to find words. "Y-You _love_ him… since when?!" he asked, wondering how in the world he had missed this.

"I don't know... it came on so slowly, then one day I just found myself in love," Sirius replied.

"When was the day?"

"Remember last year, just before the finals, when we had to do that essay on Clabberts, and Remus offered to do mine for me because I had a cold?" said Sirius, sniggering.

"Sirius, be serious!"

"I literally am," he said, grinning.

James groaned. "Tell me more."

"Er... I guess it was when I saw him hanging out with Dorcas all the time," sighed Sirius, putting his face in his hands.

"I'm not completely blind. I did suspect something," said James.

Sirius looked up again. "Really?"

"Christmas last year-" James continued.

"Yeah, no need to remind me how obvious I was," said Sirius.

"Not you. Later, when Remus and I went down to retrieve the chocolate from the One-eyed witch passage," said James.

"Huh?"

"I was saying that I wasn't as observant as you were, and that I didn't even know yours or Peter's exact eye colours," said James, smirking. "He described your eyes as a _rain cloud grey_."

Sirius smiled in awe.

"I didn't know what to think of that then, but-" continued James.

"What are you saying?" asked Sirius uncertainly.

"That maybe he likes you too?" James said, full of hope.

Sirius' smile turned from joyful to sad. "Because he described- but that might not mean anything though… you never know, with Moony."

"Oh, come on," said James, trying to convince him. "The other day, when Peter mentioned Cecilia-"

"Yeah," said Sirius, chuckling. "Peter always knows the right thing to say... even though he doesn't know he's saying it!"

"I saw the way he was looking at you that day," said James.

"Really?" Sirius asked again.

"Well, it's obvious now..." James nodded excitedly. "Tell him! Today!" he said, thrilled at the idea.

"I don't know if you've noticed, Prongs, I tell him _every day_."

James gaped at him. Sirius did tell him everyday. He would always say, 'Love you, Moony'. "But not like that. Properly. Officially," he said.

"But he never says it back," Sirius reminded him.

"Hmmm, yeah. It's like this," James explained. "Either he just likes you as mates, or there's like something holding him back."

"I don't know, Prongs," said Sirius, shaking his head. "Either way, I'm not going to spring this on him without being _one hundred percent_ sure… this is Remus Lupin we're talking about."

"I get the feeling something _big_ is going to happen between you two in the near future," said James, looking into the distance.

"Why are you talking that way? It sounds like I'm reading a novel or something," said Sirius.

James laughed. "It's true, I feel it in my bones," he said, pointing at his arm.

"As long as we don't have a big _fight_ again," said Sirius worriedly. "We just made up."

Peter came back with his essay and sat down heavily on his chair and it creaked dangerously. "I'm back."

"Is Remus still with Evans?" said James.

"Nope."

"Then where did he go?" asked Sirius, looking around.

"I don't know, but I just saw Evans talking to the grease-pot Snivellus," said Peter, sniggering.

James grimaced and Sirius laughed at him.

"What are you laughing at, you half-wit? You're in the same boat," said James.

Sirius turned James' jumper bright yellow.

* * *

 **Author's note: Thank you Ann, for your kind review :) :) :)**


	30. Crupshit

Wolf roughly scratched its fluffy neck with its hind leg and howled. The black Dog joined it.

'That doesn't make any sense,' said Wolf.

'I howl because you howl,' said Dog. Wolf wagged its tail and howled more enthusiastically this time. Dog got ready to howl again, but Stag nudged it sharply with its antlers and it yelped. Rat, who was sitting on Stag's head nearly slipped, and it held on to the antlers more tightly.

'That hurt,' yelped Dog.

'Stop encouraging him,' said Stag.

'This is boring, I want to see outside,' said Wolf.

'What outside?' asked Stag.

'Outside, where the earth is brown and not woody,' replied Wolf, scratching the trapdoor to the passageway. Stag and Dog exchanged glances. But, unlike their human form, they couldn't communicate with facial expressions or through gestures in animal form. Inter-species communication was hard enough without trying to talk non-verbally.

'No,' said Stag.

'Outside is nice,' said Wolf.

'No,' maintained Stag.

'Outside has fresh air, though,' said Wolf.

Stag felt bad. Poor Wolf had to be trapped in the house all the time. It pawed the ground nervously when Wolf was starting to get antsy. Then, Rat squeaked an idea.

'Can you catch the tail, though?' asked Dog, demonstrating. It spun round and round, trying to catch its tail.

Wolf caught Dog's tail. 'I caught it,' it growled, still holding the tail in its mouth.

'Your _own_ tail,' said Dog and laughed like a human.

'What did you just do?' asked Wolf.

'I laughed,' said Dog.

'What is 'laughed'?' asked Wolf.

'It is something I do when you are brainless,' explained Dog.

Wolf growled and pounced on Dog and they play-wrestled for a while.

'That was a good idea, Rat,' said Stag to Rat, wagging its tiny tail happily, and Rat squeaked proudly in response. 'We'll go outside next time.'

'Are you sure?' asked Rat.

'Still need to decide,' answered Stag. It carefully walked up the stairs, nearly tripping and losing footing three times because it was still learning to coordinate the two extra legs. 'Animals are not meant to climb these,' it said, and Rat agreed. It entered a room upstairs and poked its head behind the dresser to look at James' wristwatch placed there. They had thought of installing a wall clock in the room, but Remus had told them that the ticking would annoy the werewolf. The moon would set in a minute, according to the watch. Then they heard a yelp from downstairs, and Stag hurried down. As it reached the living room, Wolf was biting into its foreleg.

'Stop that,' barked Dog, nudging its mouth away from the leg.

'Pain,' whined Wolf.

'When you bite, pain will come,' barked Dog again.

'Pain came before I bit it,' growled Wolf. Suddenly it shuddered and yelped again.

Stag poked Dog with its antlers again. 'Come, he's changing back.'

'I'll stay,' Dog said, licking Wolf's face. Wolf whined in pain.

'Let's bring the clothes down,' squeaked Rat, and Stag walked up the stairs again. As they gathered the clothes, it could hear Wolf howl in agony. Stag couldn't bear even listening to those sounds, it wondered how Dog could watch it transform back.

Wolf whined again. Its fur was receding and the forelegs were transforming back to human. Then the hind legs. The morphing bones made cracking and stretching sounds and bent in odd, sharp angles and it hurt like hell. The most painful of all, was the snout morphing back into a normal jaw, and then finally, Wolf's howling was turning into Remus' moans of pain. The stag made its way back down the stairs as slowly as it could and by the time it reached the living room, Remus was lying on the ground, panting, and Sirius was kneeling beside him. Stag lowered its head so Rat could jump off.

"Oww,' Remus said, holding his jaw with both hands. Then he groaned pitifully.

"Moony," said Sirius, then he hugged him and started crying.

"Ow, Sirius, I'm fine," said Remus.

"No, you're not, your hand is bleeding," cried Sirius.

"Are you really?" asked James.

"Yes, this is weird," he mumbled, covering his thing with both hands. "Turn around, I'm starkers!" The other two laughed and turned around.

Sirius reluctantly let go of Remus and turned around and wiped his face.

"Sirius, really, I'm fine," said Remus, sitting up with great effort and reaching for his clothes. Putting on the clothes was more painful on his sore joints than the bleeding arm, actually. But, he wouldn't tell Sirius that.

"No, you didn't see you," said Sirius, sniffing.

Madam Pomfrey cried too, when she saw that Remus only had one cut on his arm. She kept sobbing as she helped him through the passageway, and he just had to assume it was out of happiness. She didn't even ask him to stay at the Hospital wing, she let him go after she dressed his wound. It was a first. Walking back to the dorm took almost half hour, but when he did arrive back to the dorm, he hugged James. "Thank you," he said. "All of you. Thank you. I can never repay you for this, but I will never forget it."

Sirius and Peter simply beamed.

Then he walked over to his bed. "Okay, goodnight, guys," he said, gleefully getting under the covers. "I'll see you at lunch."

"Are you not coming to classes?!" asked Peter, shocked. "You never miss class if you can."

"Exactly. I'll be there for the afternoon classes," he replied.

The other two shrugged and got ready for classes. They were so over-tired that they felt really wide awake due to the adrenaline. But as the day went by, they slowly got tired-er and tired-er. James nodded off during transfiguration and hit his head on table. People around him sniggered.

"Mr. Potter, night is for sleeping, and day time is for classes, if I remember correctly," said Minerva, with her hands on her hips.

"Sorry Professor, won't happen again," he said.

Minerva was surprised. _What? No witty comeback?_  
Then she remembered how James sometimes used to stay up all night in second year worrying about Remus, when they had first found out about his condition. She wondered if he still did it. "Coffee is not a bad idea," she simply advised, and went back to her lesson.

James and Sirius smiled at each other and everyone in class was astonished. Professor McGonagall was always unforgiving when it came to the Marauders, she never accepted any of their excuses. Lily was extremely curious. She knew it had something to do with Remus, he was absent today after all. She was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Over the next few of days, James observed his two best friends carefully. Sirius was a bit obvious about his feelings, stealing glances at Remus when he knew he wasn't looking, the way he smiled at him, etc. But Remus did not show any of these signs, because he could always tell if someone was observing him. And it made James wonder if Sirius had been right about him. _Either he's being really really careful, or he doesn't like him._

One morning, as the Gryffindors were all walking up to their transfiguration class after break, James grabbed Sirius' elbow to stop him. The other students walked past them. "Why don't you just tell him?"

But Sirius wrenched his arm from his grip with a miserable face. "I can't do that! We aren't even sure if he's into blokes, remember?" he said.

"Do you want me to find out?" asked James.

" _Don't you dare!_ " warned Sirius.

"But why not?"

"Just don't. I swear, James, if you do anything like that, I'll-"

"Fine, I won't!" said James. Sirius turned around and followed the others.

James stared at the back of his head. _I wish I could do something. Sirius would literally do anything for me.  
_ Then the answer came to him as a redheaded blur rushed past. _Evans! Of course!  
_ He hurried after her. _They do seem to talk a lot. I'll ask her for help! Maybe if she found out what was going on in Moony's head... Yes, this is a brilliant idea!_

"Potter, Evans, you're late!" said Professor McGonagall sternly. They had their Transfiguration classes with the Slytherins this year and the whole class looked around at them curiously.

"Sorry, Professor," they replied at the same time and walked up to their seats.

"And Mr. Potter, I wonder if you've forgotten about our dress code?" asked Minerva.

"Professor, I've already told you, there's nothing I can do about my hair," he said, and glanced at the other Marauders.  
Peter gestured at him to adjust his tie and he quickly made it and took his place next to Remus, resisting the urge to look over at Severus.

Peter leaned in past Remus and asked him, "What kept you, mate?"

"Er, nothing. I just dropped my -fig textbook down the stairs," James replied. Remus smiled at him, but Sirius was determinedly looking the other way to avoid his eye.

The next day during lunch, James told the others he had to go meet Professor McGonagall about some Quidditch thing, and waited for Lily outside in the Entrance Hall. Finally he saw her coming down the stairs, talking animatedly to Mary. Lily had worn her dark red hair in some sort of braid today, and looked so pretty. He just stared at her until she almost passed him. Then, suddenly remembered why he was standing there, and called her. Mary and Lily both stopped and looked at him.

"What?" Mary asked.

"Er." He didn't know how to say it. He wished Mary wasn't there.

And then Mary said, "We're really hungry, Potter!" and they both entered the Great Hall. He sighed and followed them in. He couldn't talk to her now because the others would see him. He went back to where the others were sitting and joined in their conversation.

On Friday, he waited for her again, at the top of the stairs this time, he knew she had Arithmancy, right before lunch. She usually arrived with Remus, but today she was thankfully alone as she arrived from the West Wing.  
"Hey Evans!" he called as she came closer. She glanced at him and kept walking past. He walked after her and called her again, "Hey! Evans! Wait-"

She looked back and said, "What?" but kept walking down the stairs.

It was really crowded, because it was lunchtime, and he was scared he was going to lose her in it. He pushed past some second-years and reached the foot of the stairs. He called her again, this time more urgently, "Evans wait! Please, I beg you."

She stopped and turned around. "What is it Potter? Can't you walk and talk at the same time?"

He knew this was supposed to be an insult but he was just relieved she had stopped. "I need you help. Please don't say no."

" _You need my help_?" she said, stressing every syllable. " _This_ ought to be good. What is it?" she asked.

"I hope you won't tell anyone, It's about Remus," he said. She looked curious, he knew this would get her interested.

"No, what up? Is he alright?" she said.

He rubbed the back of his neck. _Well, this is awkward_.  
"Yeah, yeah! He's fine. Um, the thing is, we're- I mean I, am under the impression that Remus likes somebody…" he said.

She raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"But he won't… I mean I don't think I can ask him. I was thinking, since you're such good friends with him now, if _you_ could ask him? Maybe find out what's on his mind?"

"I knew you were daft, Potter, but isn't that very obvious to everyone?!" she asked, utterly bemused.

"What are you talking about? You know who he likes?!" James asked.

Now she looked confused. "You're not talking about Dorcas, are you?" she asked.

"Oh," said James, and chuckled. "No, he told us they're just friends."

"I see, you're saying he likes someone else?" she said and he nodded. "Are you _asking_ for someone else?" she asked with a small knowing smile.

"What, no! I was just curious, you know. I mean if he likes someone, I'm happy to assist in any way," said James lamely.

"Right."

"So, will you ask him about it? He'll never talk to me," he asked earnestly.

She exhaled sharply. "How do you expect me to just casually bring this up in a conversation?" she asked, glaring at him. He looked glumly back at her. As Lily wondered how to solve this problem, the answer came to her instantly. She remembered the conversation she'd had with the girls about pretending to date Remus to spite Potter. _It wouldn't be for real._  
And before he could think about what to say, she told him something that ripped his heart in two. "Okay, if you must know, Remus and _I_ are dating."

"What?" he yelped, thinking he'd heard her wrongly.

"I said, Remus and _I_ are dating." she repeated lightly, and started walking swiftly into the Great Hall.

"You can't be serious! You're joking, right?" he asked, speeding up to walk alongside her towards the Gryffindor table. She didn't answer him, but just sat down next to Alice. He wanted to sit with her and ask her again, but Peter had spotted him. He was waving to him, and James had no choice but to walk over to his friends.

"What's up?" asked Remus, adding a spoonful of cheese to his pasta.

James didn't answer. He just sat down next to Peter, pulled a plate toward him and started eating. He was so mad, he could hardly chew. Somehow he made it through the rest of his classes without yelling out loud or smashing anything. The others noticed his bad mood, but didn't comment on it. They had seen him with Lily, so they assumed it had something to do with her.

 _Why would he keep this a secret?! We're best friends... oh I should have known all along, the way they were acting.  
_ He looked down and realised he'd pressed his quill so hard, he'd broken the nib of the quill. _Sirius would be crushed. But he would act like it didn't really bother him, because he would be more concerned about how I'm feeling about the whole thing instead. Sirius is kind-hearted like that, which_ no one _seems to realise.  
_ And he felt more resentment towards Remus as he watched him answer a question correctly in Potions and didn't even smile when it earned him 10 points for Gryffindor. Instead, he imagined dunking Remus' head into his own cauldron. That felt extremely satisfying. Finally classes were over, and they were all walking back up the stairs towards the Boys' dormitories. As soon as they reached their dorm, James took Remus by the collar and shoved him towards the wall. "You _snake_!"

"What the hell are you doing, James?!" Peter exclaimed.

"Have you lost your mind?" asked Sirius, as he tried to pull James off of Remus.

"No Padfoot, but you will, once you hear what Remus here has been doing behind all our backs!" he shouted.

"What are you talking about?!" he asked, afraid of what he might hear.

"HE'S BEEN GOING OUT WITH EVANS THIS WHOLE TIME!" James yelled and let go of Remus and walked angrily towards his bed.

"What?!" shouted all three of them at the same time.

There was a stunned silence. Then, Remus spoke, "Oh Ha Ha James. Is this your idea of a prank? Because it's not that funny."

"Unless he wanted to shock us all. I was definitely shocked." said Peter breathlessly.

"Er... yeah," said Sirius.

"No, _it's not a prank_. Don't act innocent Remus, we've watched the two of you, always having a good, old chinwag… Evans told me _herself_ today at lunch!" said James angrily, and kicked his trunk. Sirius and Peter were looking between James and Remus incredulously. Neither of them knew what to say.

'Wait, _she_ told you we were dating? What exactly did she say?" Remus demanded.

" _Wow_! I thought you were going to deny everything! But you just want to know what she said, so you can bleeding cover it up!" shouted James.

"Of course I'm denying it. I don't like Lily. I mean I like her as a person. But I'm definitely not seeing her," said Remus patiently.

But James just sat down on his bed, seething.

"I am not going out with Lily Evans, James," said Remus. "Oh this is Crupshit! I'm going to find Lily, and you can bloody hear it from her own mouth that it's a lie! _She was probably kidding!_ " he yelled exasperatedly, pushing past Sirius and storming out the door. They heard him go down the stairs noisily.

Peter walked to his bed and sat down, exhaling loudly. Sirius just stood there, staring at the door. No one spoke for a long time.

Then James felt something hit him on the nose. It seemed to be a small scrunched up bit of parchment. He looked up and saw Sirius grinning. He beckoned James with his index finger and pointed upwards and walked out the door silently. James looked at Peter. He was busy picking dust off his shoes. James got up and walked swiftly out the door. He heard Peter calling him on his way out, but he didn't stop. But instead of going down the stairs, he climbed up the stairs towards the first years' dorms and saw Sirius sitting on the next landing, smiling at him.

"Why are you smiling?" asked James, bending down to sit beside him. They heard Peter call his name and go down the stairs.

"I feel a bit guilty about not including Wormy in this, but I really don't want to tell him," said Sirius. "At least not yet."

James nodded sagely. "He does have a tendency to blab..."

"Did you ask Evans to find out what's going on? Is that why you guys were late to transfiguration on Wednesday?" asked Sirius eagerly. "You should have _seen_ the look on old Snivelly's face when the two of you turned up together!" Then he laughed.

"No," said James. "But that was when I got the idea to ask her. I was just standing there thinking, when she walked past me. And then it hit me - She and Remus were friends, she could find out!" Then he told him about the conversation he had had with Lily at lunch.

"But don't you get it, James? Why she told you she was dating Remus? Because she knew you'd confront him! " said Sirius gleefully. "She's bloody brilliant!"

"Then she doesn't need to find an awkward opening! Wow! She's a genius!" said James loudly.

Sirius shushed him, but a first year opened a door and poked his head out. "Get back inside!" Sirius ordered, and the boy quickly shut his door again. "I guess she knows you well," he added, sniggering, much to James' surprise.

"I've finally had a proper conversation with her," James said proudly.

"Yes, one that didn't involve yelling or hexing," said Sirius, laughing, and James smacked him on the head.

* * *

 **Author's note: RoryRedKing, your review just made my day. No, it made my entire week :)**


	31. Cocktail Onions

Meanwhile, Remus had gone to find Lily. She wasn't in the Common room. "Is Lily upstairs?" he asked Mary.

"I'm not sure," she replied.

"Do you mind checking? It's imperative that I speak to her," he said. She looked at him with the most disinterested expression. "Please?"

"You do know our dorm's on the top floor, right? I'm not gonna go all the way up there without a good reason," she replied.

"Come on, MacDonald, please?" he begged.

"Okay. Tell me why you and Black fought and I'll go get her," she said, grinning. She knew that would make him leave her alone.

"Forget it," he said and walked away, and she grinned to herself. She just knew how to prey on people's weaknesses.  
 _But, I'm not too horrid though, I've never used any of the information I have for stuff like blackmail..._  
Then she sighed to herself. _Am I a good person?_  
Mary always tried to control herself, but when she found a new bit of gossip, she couldn't resist, she always pounced onto it like a hungry kneazle on a puffskein.

Remus looked around and spotted a group of second year girls playing gobstones, and walked up to them. "Do you girls know Prefect Evans?"

"Of course, we don't live under the lake," said a blonde haired girl, and Remus folded his hands seriously.

"What is your name?" he asked her.

"Who wants to know?" she asked. The girl next to her, who also had blonde hair with a slight greenish glint to it, nudged her.

"Remus Lupin," he said.

"Ella Dawlish."

"Ella, I need you to go up to Evans' room and bring her down for me, can you do that?" he asked her.

She looked defiant, but stood up anyway and walked up the stairs. Five minutes later, she was back with Alice.

"She's not here, she said she had a Prefect thing when she left," Alice told him.

"What Prefect thing? She doesn't have rounds today," he asked her.

"Dunno, she said she'll be back in a few hours... oh, she took her bag with her, you could check the library," she replied.

"Okay, thanks Finbok," he said, and Alice nodded and went back up the stairs. Remus turned to the little girls playing gobstones. "Thanks, Ella," he said, and reached in his pocket and chucked a chocolate frog at her.

Ella caught it and grinned gleefully. "Let me know if you want any more help," she said.

Remus chuckled and nodded. Then he went to the library. Lily was nowhere to be found. Then he thought about it, the only place left was the Prefects' bathroom, so he went over there. " _Limefresh_ ," he muttered, and entered it and found ten or so girls laughing and talking excitedly to each other in the pool. He knew them be Prefects of various years. They seemed to be having a pool party of some kind. There were colourful umbrella drinks in various shaped glass goblets around the edge of the pool, with a few cocktail onions and olives on a tray, along with a few bottles of Madam Rosmerta's extra-sweet butterbeer. He also recognised Snakeweed tea in a teapot, judging from the puce coloured vapours being emitted from its spout. Some of the girls were naked, which he didn't expect, and they all shrieked and squealed when they spotted him. Luckily they all seemed to be inside the pool which was full of bubbles. There were loads of bubbles, some of the bubbles formed towers which went higher than the girls' heads. But he just stood there, stupidly staring at the bubbles and breathing in the intense, fruity perfume.

"Lupin get out, you wanker!" someone shouted and he came to his senses.

He covered his eyes with hands and turned around quickly. "I didn't see anything!" he said loudly, and the girls all giggled.

"Aww not even a wittle bit? I was hoping you had…." said one girl in a mock-baby voice, and all the girls cackled.

Remus felt annoyed. _First Lily has the nerve to tell James that we are dating. And second, why the hell hasn't she informed me about this damn pool party?!  
_ "Lily Evans, if you're there, I need to talk to you. It's urgent," he said and all the girls giggled again. He knew she was there somewhere amongst the bubbles.

"But Lily can't talk right now Weemus, she's nakey!" said the girl, and they all laughed again.

 _Who the hell made all these girls Prefects?! And why the hell isn't Lily answering?  
_ He was just about to walk towards the exit, when he heard someone climb out of the pool and touch his elbow. It was Lily, she pulled his elbow to lead him towards the door. She was wearing a white bikini and her face was flushed from the hot water in the pool. He just stared at her for a split-second too long, and- _Splash!_ One of the girls splashed water at him and it hit his head and face. He jumped and almost looked over at them again, when they all squealed and splashed him with more water until he ran towards the opposite wall where they couldn't reach him. Then the girls guffawed with delight. His hair was dripping, his whole right side was completely wet and he smelled like one of those fruity shampoos. Lily was chuckling as she walked towards him. She hadn't bothered to cover herself up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare," he said guiltily. He thought of James and his guilt intensified. "You just took me by surprise."

"It's alright. It's really my fault, I guess. I forgot to tell you we were having the pool party tonight, it was a last minute thing. Anyway, what's up?" she asked, looking up at him and smiling slyly.

"You know what's up! Why did you tell James that you and I are dating?!" asked Remus.

"Well he was pestering me today at lunch again, I had to tell him something.." she said.

"Lily, you could have said literally anyone else! Why me? I'm his mate! And now he's upset!" he said angrily.

"Well, so what? I'm not looking for a boyfriend right now, so it doesn't really matter…" she said casually.

"Well I am!" he said.

And she stared intently into his eyes. "You're looking for a boyfriend?" she asked, and he immediately regretted saying anything. "So nothing's going on between you and Dorcas, then?" she questioned further, but Remus just scowled.  
"Out with it, Remus Lupin!" she said bossily.

He knew that she would get it out of him eventually, so he just told her. "Dorcas and I are close friends, I don't have any romantic feelings for her."

"Fine. And the answer to my previous question?" she asked quickly.

"Not really..." he tried.

She suddenly looked offended. "I am not an idiot, Remus," she said. "Just be honest with me."

"I'm not really sure if I actually like them, or I'm just confused. I've never thought about... boys before... I mean in this sense," he replied slowly.

"Who is it?" she said unsmilingly.

"I'll tell you. But you have to promise you won't tell _anyone_. Especially not these silly girls," said Remus, pointing to the pool.

"I would never! I swear," she said excitedly. "Not a soul. Cross my heart and hope to die," she said, physically making a 'X' on her heart with her index finger.

"What are you doing?" asked Remus, perplexed.

"Ugh! It's just something the Muggles do when they promise something. You were saying?" she pressed him on.

"You'll just think it's stupid, you won't like it," he said, pouting.

"No, I swear I won't judge," she said seriously.

He looked down at the floor, biting his lip tensely. "Sirius," he muttered, and she couldn't resist giggling. "Stop laughing!" he said, completely annoyed.

"Sorry, sorry!" she said quickly, but he continued looking dejected. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked him kindly, putting her hand on his.

"I am so ridiculous! It will never happen…" he said sadly. "These kind of things never happen to creatures like me."

"I wouldn't say that. Anyone can see that he cares about you a lot... in his own farcical ways," she said, inwardly thinking how it was a little bit odd that he'd used the word 'creatures' instead of 'people'.

"All my friends care about me," he said immediately.

"He's always looking out for you," she said, remembering Sirius sitting at the balustrade, a year ago.

"I agree with you, but I'm such a boring-arse person with zero personality and he's _way_ out of my league!" he blurted out. Now that he'd said it out loud, it seemed too real, the difference in their personalities.

Lily was shocked. "Remus! How could you even have such a low opinion of yourself? He's your mate, isn't he? He wouldn't be hanging with you if he didn't think you were awesome!"

"Yes but as friends right… being in love is different. What do I have though, to recommend me? I've already given up, " he said miserably.

"Lily, what are you doing? Send him off and come here now!" one of the girls yelled.

Lily yelled back, "You'll just have to wait, Therese!" and the girls all laughed again.

"What's so funny anyway? I don't see anything fun-" He started saying , but she held up a hand to stop him.

"Focus, Remus," she said. "Listen, how can you even say that? Take me. I genuinely love spending time with you when we do our Prefect duties. In fact, I look forward to them!"

"Really? Me too!" he said happily.

She smiled up at him and said, "You have nothing to worry about at all! Just tell him how you feel.''

''But I'm not even sure if he's- you know," he moaned.

"Right... Are you invited to Slughorn's Christmas Party this year?" she asked.

"Of course not, I'm not a rich pureblood or brilliant at Potions like you," he said, grinning. "Not to mention, amazingly beautiful and extremely hot," he said, fanning himself with his hand.

Lily blushed and giggled. "Oh, stop it, Remus!" He laughed. "Come to the Party with me. I have a feeling he might be there," she said.

"But he hates Slughorn. He won't go even if he got invited," Remus said, but she was smiling deviously. "Am I missing something?" he asked.

"It was Dorcas' idea, it's related to _you-know-what._ We are in need of his pureblood knowledge. She'll come and talk to you boys, later this week," Lily said seriously.

"Oh, okay," he replied, nodding.

"It's the perfect opportunity," she continued. "With all the alcohol flowing, you can easily get him to open up... Although, if Black gets completely sloshed, there would be no point, I've seen how he can get. He probably wouldn't even remember anything the next day..." she was saying, but Remus hugged her tightly, overwhelmed by the support.

"Thanks Lily, you're an angel!" he said. She was the one person who was on his side.

She hugged him back. "Do you want to hear a secret, Remus? You are _cool_ , okay. Maybe not in an obvious kind of way like Black or Potter, but you are," she said, smiling up at him.

"Did I just hear Evans call Potter cool?" he asked, putting his palm behind his ear.

"If you tell him that, you're dead meat," she threatened and he chuckled.

"Fine, I won't tell him."

"You wouldn't know you're cool. But the girls know. Want me to ask them for you?" she asked, giggling again.

"I am going to take your word for it!" he said, and she laughed. "Thanks Lil! You really saved me," he said.

"What in the _name_ of the Reliable Rowena, are you doing, Lily?! Stop romancing and get back into the pool, you're missing all the fun! Lottie has an excellent story for us!" another girl shouted.

Lily laughed and said to Remus, "And you're not boring-arse, you have a fine arse." And to his horror, she turned to the girls and asked them loudly, "Hey girls, what do we think of Remus' arse though?!"

The girls laughed loudly and one of the girls shouted back "So sexy, baby!"

Another one said, "Best arse at Hogwarts Johnny boy, I swear!" and they all laughed again, some of the girls were agreeing with her.

Lily was laughing hard, but Remus didn't wait for more. He glared at her and ran out the door as fast as he could, but not before he heard another familiar voice yell, "Aww, where are you going, Remus? Don't you wanna get in the pool with us?!" _That was Dorcas, I bet my wand! That cheeky little thing.  
_ He ran all the way back to Gryffindor Tower. He was panting as he climbed the stairs, but he was also laughing to himself.  
 _Girls are so scary in their natural habitat! Never again.  
_ He shuddered. _Though, I know they could only tease me cos I'm always the nice guy. Ugh... can't risk being anything else. Sirius would've probably run and jumped in the pool with them.  
_ Then he smiled again, but for a different reason. He actually felt a bit confident after speaking to Lily. He was still soaked, hair still dripping a bit as he reached the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Is it raining out?" she asked, and he nodded, grinning.

"Magpie," he told her and she swung forwards to let him enter.

The boys were sitting at the table nearest to the fire. Peter waved him over and he sat down in the empty chair between James and Sirius.

"Why are you wet?" James asked immediately. "And why do you smell like apple?" asked Sirius.

"Long story. I need some water," he told them, grabbing Peter's bottle. Then he told them what had happened, omitting the obvious parts. He told them about the girls' pool party, and how Lily had climbed out of the pool in a bikini.

James looked extremely jealous. "I wish I was a Prefect!" he said indignantly.

All of them sniggered, and Peter said, "No one in their right mind would make you a Prefect, James!" and they all laughed.

"Then what happened?" asked James turning to Remus again. He told them about the splashing. And he told them that Lily had said she only meant it a joke. Thankfully James did not ask him to elaborate.

"And guess what? She's invited me to Slughorn's Christmas Party," he told them.

"What? _Wow..._ " said James. The others stared at him. Then he came to his senses and exclaimed, "Wait, what? You can't go. We hate Slughorn and you mustn't go on principle!"

"There's a reason behind it," said Remus, raising his eyebrows significantly at the others. But they had no clue what he was implying. He sighed. "It's related to _fighting against the darkness_?" he said, raising his eyebrows again, and then they understood.

"Oh. What's the plan?" James asked excitedly.

"Well Lily and I are going to be there just to keep an eye on everything. But we need your help, Sirius," said Remus.

" _Me?_ " asked Sirius.

"Yes, you," said Remus, smiling at him.

"Why him and not me?" whined James.

"I am not sure yet, but his wealth of knowledge on evil purebloods might have something to do with it," said Remus slowly.

"Right," said Sirius, his lips thin. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Not sure yet. Dorcas will talk to us later this week, Lily said," Remus told them. They were all silent for a while.

"But why were you panting when you came in? Did you run here?" asked Peter innocently.

Remus made a face. He had hoped to avoid telling them the last bit. It was super embarrassing.

Then Sirius grabbed his arm and said "Tell us Moony!" and Remus felt a slight electric-like sensation pass through him when Sirius had touched him. He felt bolder.

"When I was just about to leave, Lily suddenly turned to the girls and asked them what they thought of my arse! And you know what they said?"

"What?" James asked.

"Best arse at Hogwarts," he replied.

"Holy Hippogriffs! The girls said that?!" asked Peter.

"That's right gents, _Moony_ has the best arse at Hogwarts, now officially certified by Hogwarts' Prefects!" he said, as James and Peter guffawed.

"That was very punny!" Peter said. Sirius stared at Remus, open mouthed.

"And that's when I ran for my life!" Remus told him and he finally chuckled.

"Moony, you need to shower and dry off before you catch a cold," Peter advised.

"You're right, Wormy," said Remus, standing up, and letting his arm slide out of Sirius' hand gently. "See you," he said, and turned around and walked to the stairs, fully aware of what Sirius was presently looking at.

James cleared his throat loudly and smirked at his blushing friend.


	32. Pink Eyebrows

"Hey Remus," called Dorcas, swiftly walking up to his table in the Common room.

He looked up from his essay and smiled at her. "Hey Dorcas, ready to go?"

"Where?"

"Up to our dorm. It's more private," he told her, standing up.

"Are you sure?"

"Oh yeah, totally. I've already told the others you will be wanting a word," he said, gesturing.

She was still unsure, so he just grabbed her hand. "Come on," he said, leading her up the stairs. A few people watched them curiously, but Remus was past the caring stage.

They reached their floor and stopped outside the door. They could hear raucous laughter coming from inside and Dorcas felt a bit apprehensive. He knocked before entering, something he'd never done before, and opened the door to find Sirius lying on the floor, sporting pink eyebrows, James was standing over him, wrapped in just a towel, and Peter was standing on his bed with his wand pointed at Sirius. All three boys were laughing their heads off.

"Guys. Hey!" said Remus, and they turned to face him.

"Hello Dorcas," said Peter, politely waving at her.

"Hey Peter," she said, waving back. She looked at Sirius and realised that he was glaring at her hand, which was still clasped in Remus'. She immediately let go, though Remus didn't notice anything.

"Oh!" James yelped, suddenly realising he was half naked. He stepped over Sirius quickly, but Sirius chose that exact moment to sit up, which inadvertently caused James to trip spectacularly (AARGH!) and fall flat on his face. Peter and Remus sniggered. Dorcas looked away, trying not to laugh.

"Ow ow..." he mumbled. He gingerly sitting up, sporting a bloody lip.

"You broke my ankle!" yelled Sirius, clutching his ankle and wincing.

"Well you almost killed me!" James yelled back, aiming a kick at Sirius' chest. Miraculously, the towel had stayed on through all this.

"OW! You arse!" shouted Sirius, moving to punch James, but Peter and Remus stopped the fight from escalating into another wrestling match.

"That's enough. Come on James, get up," said Remus, pulling him to his feet. "Go put some clothes on."

He got to his feet, still glowering, and walked to his bed and disappeared behind his curtains. Dorcas giggled softly.

"No Wormy, my ankle really hurts," Sirius whined, as Peter tried to help him up.

"Wormy?" asked Dorcas. _He looks nothing like a worm... Dear Godric, let that not be a euphemism! No, just forget it... forget it!_

"Just a silly nickname," James told her, emerging from behind his curtains, fully clothed and smiling. "Sorry about that. Come, sit here," he said, motioning her to his bed.

"Thanks," she said, and sat down on its edge. Remus sat down next to her.

"Come on Sirius, just try and get up, you can sit on James' bed as well," said Peter gently and Sirius got up off the floor, sat down on James' bed and put his foot up.

"Thanks, Pete."

"Let me check your foot. I'm sure it's not broken," said Dorcas, feeling his ankle.

"No! That's fine," he said, pulling his foot out of her reach.

She sighed. "Why do you hate me, Black?" she asked.

"No, of course I don't hate you, Meadowes!" said Sirius, smiling guiltily.

"You don't? Okay, then let me check your foot," she said, taking his foot onto her lap and massaging it gently.

"Hahhh... that feels good," he said, closing his eyes.

"Yes, a pleasurable pain," she said, smiling a little. The others sniggered at the euphemism. After about five minutes, she put his foot down, and looked up at him.  
"Now, on to official business. As Remus must've told you, we need your help at Slughorn's Christmas Party. Why? Well, as everyone knows, there have been quite a lot of reports about attacks all over the country, the _Prophet's_ not even mentioning all of them... like the old couple in Aberdeen... but what most people don't know, is that there have been a couple of security breaches at the Ministry too."

"Really?" said James.

"Yes, it's all been hushed up," she replied. "So as not to frighten the public, but we had a meeting with Dumbledore last week and he told us-"

"Why did he tell you?" asked Sirius.

"He actually wanted to cancel the party citing security reasons, but the party's being sponsored by the Ministry this year, so _it has to go on_ ," she said sarcastically, making air quotes.

"Will there be aurors at the party?" Remus asked, but Dorcas shook her head.

"What!" said Remus.

"I know, apparently they cannot be _spared from their duties_ , it's all imbecilic if you ask me. They just don't want to waste resources on the school, they don't think there will be any attacks on a school or anything like that... which may sound like a comforting thought, but we cannot take any chances," she said. Then she grimaced. "And that's not all..."

"What?" asked James.

"My spy in Slytherin has been kind enough to inform me that some not-so-good people might be at the party..." she said seriously. "So, basically we'll all be sitting ducks if someone-"

"Like death-eaters?" asked Peter, his voice already trembling.

"Not any known death-eaters obviously, but _he_ has many spies," she told him. Wormtail looked ready to shit a brick.

"Do not be alarmed," she said kindly, patting his cheek. He calmed down a bit. "There will be security, most of the teachers and Prefects will either be at the party or patrolling the corridors, it's alright."

The boys nodded.

"What I need from you, Black, is information. All the info you can provide me on the people you might know at the party, so we can assess their threat level. For example, there might be people there who are not known Death-eaters, but if you think they're still evil enough to be one, you need to let me know. Got it?" she told him.

"Absolutely. I'll do my best," he told her, nodding.

"Thank you. And I hope I can trust that all of you will be discreet about this?" she asked, looking at Remus.

"Yes, of course," he told her, and the others agreed.

"Totally, Dorcas," said Peter, grinning. "The Marauders are experts at keeping secrets. At any given moment, a Marauder, on average, is keeping at least four secrets pertaining to several different topics."

The others looked angrily at him, but Dorcas laughed. "Yes, I can imagine!" she said.

Sirius smiled at her. He was starting to see what Remus had meant when he used to gush about her all the time. She was a lovely girl, and she had the talent of making people feel at ease just with her presence.

She took his hand, "Well, Black, will you be my date to Slughorn's Christmas Party?" she asked.

"Of course, my lady," he said.

"I have something for you. A gift, since I'm the one asking you," she said, pulling out a chocolate bar from her book bag and chucking it into his lap. It was Honeydukes' finest Dark Chocolate.

"Hey this is Moony's favourite!" he replied, grinning at Remus, who perked up instantly.

"Exactly, Black," she told him with a knowing look in her eyes.

Remus glanced at her. _Surely she isn't this devious. This move has Lily Evans written all over it._

 _So this is a peace offering._ Sirius took her hand and kissed it in a proper pureblood fashion, making her grin. "Call me Sirius," he told her.

"And you can call me Dorcas," she replied. "And I must say, you make even the pink eyebrows work, Sirius. Now I'm thinking, maybe I should be more worried about your fan-girls trying to do me in when they find out you're taking me to the party!"

They laughed again. "What, I don't have fan-girls," he said.

"Please, I heard what happened to McKinnon after that rumour was circulating," she said. "The one about you two shagging, not the one where you were declared single... or the one where you used a dark curse on Potter here-"

"Alright, I get the picture," said Sirius awkwardly, and the others laughed. Somehow, Poor Sirius frequently seemed to become the subject of gossip at school.

"They made me laugh at that time," she said apologetically. "Anyway, I should get going now, I have rounds," she said and stood up.

"Um, Dorcas. I just wanted to say, if you needed any more help, I'm your guy," said James.

Dorcas looked impressed. "I'll be taking you up on that offer soon," she told him, and they shook on it. Sirius and Remus felt proud, but Peter was nervous. He couldn't understand why James was volunteering himself for this dangerous business.

Remus put his hands on her shoulders like they were playing a train and they both walked out. After the door closed, Sirius noticed that the chocolate bar was missing. He looked around on the bed, and even picked up the pillow to look underneath it, but nothing.

"He took the chocolate with him, didn't he?" asked Peter, grinning.

"Yeah… but I was going to give it to him anyway," said Sirius, and Peter was impressed.

"Moony was right, she's pretty cool." said James, Sirius nodded at him.

"Yeah," agreed Peter.

Sirius chuckled. "You know, Prongs, if you'd told me a couple of months ago, that I was going to _Slughorn's Christmas Party_ with _Dorcas Meadowes_ , I would've laughed at you and told you that you've gone mental!"

Downstairs, Lily hurried to meet Dorcas and Remus as they came down the stairs. "So, how did it go?" she asked, gesturing at them to her table.

"Perfectly," said Dorcas.

"The chocolate," said Remus, holding up the bar, "I'm assuming this was your idea?"

Lily smiled and nodded. Remus smiled back at her, and walked back to his own table.

"So, tell me everything that happened?" asked Lily, and Dorcas gleefully told her everything that happened up in the Marauders' dorm.

"Good! That's good," said Lily, grinning. She sat down at her table with Alice and Marlene, and gestured to Dorcas to do the same.

But Dorcas shook her head, "I have rounds. I'll see you later," she said and made to walk away. Then she turned around again. "Oh, by the way, James Potter was up there too, Lily... wrapped in just a towel when I walked in. Those rock hard abs... that boy is a major fittie," she said, and left with a mischievous grin. Marlene and Alice giggled. Lily blushed.

"Hmm, Lily... we've never looked at him in that angle before," said Marlene.

"Sounds like going down that road isn't such a bad idea, is it?" said Alice.

"I'm not dating him just because he has nice abs, Alice," Lily told her.

After a while, Marlene said, "I want to see those abs now," and giggled again. "Oh Lily, you should have gone up there with Dorcas too. You missed a great chance!"

"I was thinking the same thing," said Alice quietly, and the other two gasped.

"Alice! I've never heard you say anything like that before!" said Lily, surprised.

"She's finally coming out of her prude-shell. What did you do? Cop a feel of Longbottom's lush bum or something?" asked Marlene, grinning.

"Marlene!" said Alice, but she was blushing.

"Great Godric, she has!" said Marlene, laughing. "We have been blessed!"

Then suddenly, they heard laughter nearby and turned to see Remus, hidden behind his Defence textbook, laughing away.

"Remus Lupin!" Marlene yelled, and he slowly lowered his book, still chortling. "I can't believe you eavesdropped on our conversation!"

"Merlin, how embarrassing," said Alice, blushing again.

"Remus, you're shameless," said Lily.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But you girls were being pretty loud, to be honest," he said, trying not to laugh.

"How much did you hear?" asked Alice nervously.

"Nothing much. Just about James' rock hard abs and Frank's lush bum?" he said, raising a cocky eyebrow. Lily and Alice looked mortified, but Marlene laughed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overhear, honest. You girls really need to talk softly, though," he said.

"Please don't tell anyone. Especially Frank… please, Lupin!" Alice begged. "He would be so embarrassed."

"I won't. I promise," he told him.

"And don't you dare tell the Marauders! Don't you tell Potter anything!" warned Lily.

"Oh come on, would I?" he asked.

"Are you saying that you haven't told Potter about Lily's white bikini?" asked Marlene.

Remus looked taken aback, but only for a split-second, he recovered quickly. "I did. But that's different," he said.

"How?" asked Marlene immediately.

He stood up and walked over slowly, making the girls a little nervous. "Lily's bikini was what I saw with my own eyes. My personal opinion, which I shared with my friends. But sharing what someone was talking about without their permission, constitutes gossiping, which I don't really indulge in," he explained simply.

"Right. Well, thanks Lupin," said Alice. He smiled reassuringly and walked back to his table. "Phew, thank Merlin, he's decent," whispered Alice. The others nodded.

"We weren't being that loud, how did he hear us?" asked Lily, but the others just shrugged.

"I guess we probably weren't being as quiet as we thought we were," said Marlene, trying to dissuade Lily, but Lily couldn't shake off an odd feeling about Remus.

"Did you see his face when he walked over? Made me quite nervous, I don't know why," said Alice. "It's like he's a vampire or something..."

Lily shook her head. _Not his face or expression, but his eyes. they looked almost feral. Like a wild animal. Like a leopard. No, no, something more like… more... more canine, more like a WOLF._  
She unconsciously turned to look over at him, not realising her expression was most suspicious.

Marlene followed her line of sight. _Oh, fuck! She suspects something…_

Remus looked up at her and his face visibly blanched. Her expression turned more quizzical, and his heart rate quickened rapidly.

"What's wrong with him?" said Alice, also looking over at him. Then it clicked for Alice.

Marlene froze, an expression of panic on her face. She had no presence of mind, she couldn't act. The other two looked at her curiously.

"Lupin's a werewolf, isn't he?" said Alice. Marlene shook her head rapidly.

"What! Is this the secret you couldn't tell us?" asked Lily.

"You know what, I don't think we should be talking about this right now," Marlene whispered. Then she mouthed, 'He may hear us.'

The girls nodded.

Lily idly flipped through her book. _He does disappear every month and comes back looking all sick. Is that at… is that at full moon?_ _That time last year when the news of the Greyback attacks had come out… And his mum and dad had visited that day too! Jesus, this is all pointing in one direction..._

Just then, Mary arrived with Robbie Ronan, from the year above. Two very dangerous people to say anything in front of. "Hey girls, what's up?"

"Ladies," said Robbie, taking a seat beside Lily and grinning annoyingly at her.

"Hello Ronan," said Alice politely.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the Marauders' dorm, Sirius and Peter were still practising spells for their Charms homework.  
"Wormy! How many times do I have to tell you, huh? It's like a small jab, like this," said Sirius, demonstrating. James looked up from his Defence essay.

"Okay, okay, I got it now," said Peter, and he tried again, successfully performing the spell this time.

"Yes!" said Sirius triumphantly.

"Good job, Wormy," said James, and Peter beamed at him.

"You're a better teacher than me, Sirius," said James, grinning.

"Don't spread the word, I don't want it denting my carefully curated reputation," Sirius replied, chuckling.

"Don't worry, you're not as good as Moony, Sirius. I would know, I'm the student," Peter told him, and Sirius gave him a playful shove.

"Speaking of Moony, I'm gonna go check on him," said James, standing up and stretching luxuriously.

"Why?" asked Sirius.

"Just getting this feeling," he replied.

"Yeah, okay. Will you help me with the rest of these, Padfoot?" Peter asked meekly.

"Why else am I here, Peter. I don't have a life anyway," Sirius replied jokingly. James laughed and went down the stairs.

When Marlene looked around at Remus again, he wasn't there. "Where did he go?" she said.

"Probably up to the dorm?" said Alice a little worriedly.

"Who?" asked Mary immediately.

"Er, Remus," said Lily.

"Library as usual," said Mary, smiling.

Lily looked at Mary. _Could be._  
She needed to know for sure. She needed to talk to Remus. "Girls, I have to go-" _No. they'll want to come with me._

"Go where?" asked Marlene quickly.

"I have to meet up with Dorcas in a few minutes, I'll see you later," she amended, and stood up.

"Wait-" said Marlene anxiously, but Lily just waved goodbye and walked away.

"See you," said Mary.

"Bye," said Alice, also getting to her feet.

"Where are you going now?" Marlene asked her.

"Just to talk to Frank," she replied and walked off before Marlene could stop her.

James reached the landing and looked down to survey the Common room. He looked for Lily first, but couldn't spot her, only Marlene. He saw Alice whispering something in Frank's ear and smiled to himself. A bunch of second-years boys were laughing their heads off, a couple of them rolling on the floor, one of them was banging the table with his fist, and his friend beside him was unable to breathe for laughing. James chuckled to himself. A couple of sixth year girls were glancing up at him interestedly, but he ignored them. _Where's Moony?_ _  
_James scanned the room again. He walked over to the desk Remus had been sitting at earlier and saw that his books were still there. They were left open too. _That's odd. He never leaves his books scattered like this.  
_ He closed them and moved them to one side of the table. _He's not here, neither is Evans,they probably went to the library to study.  
_ Marlene worried, not knowing what to do, and she didn't see James walk out of the Portrait hole. James entered the library and looked around in Remus' usual spots, but he wasn't there. Instead, he found Lily alone at a table and walked up to her. "Hey Evans," he said, and she looked up.

"Potter," she said, and subtly placed a blank piece of parchment over some other pages, which he didn't realise was the Lunar Chart.

"Is Remus here with you?" he asked.

She shook her head. "He was in the Common room earlier, but he left before I left," she told him and looked away shiftily.

"Okay, thanks Evans!" he said, smiling. He waited for her to say something, but she didn't. "Does he have rounds or something today?"

"No, he doesn't, Potter. Now will you stop disturbing me?" she said.

"Oh, of course. Sorry," he said and left.

"And go back to the Tower, it's nearly curfew!" she called after him, and he waved to her in acknowledgement.


	33. Medieval Apothecary

Lily hadn't been able to find Remus either, so she'd decided she'd do some research before jumping to conclusions. As she watched James look around the library one more time, she remembered what Marlene had said one day about why the Marauders had so many secrets, that it would be more than anyone else could handle if they found out. _It's true._  
Then, she remembered what Dorcas had said about his abs. _Hmm... wait, what am I doing?!_  
When James left, she heaved a sigh of relief. She did not want him to know she suspected anything. She shook her head to clear it and went back to her reading, and everything she read confirmed her suspicions. _Jesus, Severus was right! Remus is a werewolf. A werewolf!_

As James stepped in through the Portrait Hole again, Marlene spotted him and hurriedly walked up to him. "Did you find Remus?"

"Huh?" he asked, wondering how she knew he was looking for him. "How do you-"

"Something's happened, and Lily and Alice found out Remus is a you-know-what!" she said.

"What! But I just met Evans in the library and she seemed perfectly normal... what exactly happened, Marlene?!" he asked her, horrified.

"I'll talk to Frank and Alice, but you need to find-" she told him.

"Wait, Frank knows too?!" James asked. He pressed his hand to his forehead in tension.

"Listen to me, James," she said, holding both his elbows. "I'll talk to Frank and Alice, but you need to find Remus, he looked really rattled before he disappeared, you know!"

He nodded at her and ran up the stairs to the dorm. "Who has the Map?" he asked the other two.

"It's in my trunk," said Peter, and James searched around it, but couldn't find it.

"Where the hell is it, Peter? Your trunk's a fucking _mess_!" he yelled in frustration.

"James, what's wrong?" asked Sirius immediately.

"Marlene thinks, Evans and Finbok know Remus is a werewolf," he told them.

"What!" the other two exclaimed. "What happened?"

"I don't know, but she said Remus panicked and left. I need to look for him!" said James urgently.

Pete quickly found the Map under an turtleneck, and James snatched it up and opened it on the bed. "There," said Sirius, pointing to the secret shortcut from the Great Hall to the Transfiguration wing. "In the -fig tunnel."

"What is he doing there?" asked Peter.

"The dot is just stationary, he's not pacing or anything," Sirius observed.

"Well, we have to go check on him anyway," James said, getting to his feet.

"But what if he wants to be alone?" asked Sirius.

"Then I'll come right back," James assured him and folded up the Map.

"We're coming with you," said Sirius.

"No, Peter needs to practice."

"But-"

James sighed. "If I'm not back in twenty minutes, then you can come down to the passage," said James sternly, retrieving his cloak from his trunk.

It wasn't in Remus Lupin's nature to go off the rails like this. He was known to be quite sensible and rational. He always spoke with common sense. But on occasions like these, he didn't. Anything related to people finding out about his lycanthropy would make him panic so much, that he would lose all sense of reason. The last time this had happened, was when the lads found out about him in second year, and when Severus found out.  
Unlike Marlene, who was Sirius' trusty adviser, Alice was a complete outsider over whom the Marauders had no influence whatsoever. Lily too, was the same. She may be his best friend, and she may not tell anyone, but he dreaded losing her friendship - losing all respect in her eyes. And the very thought shook him to his core. He got so agitated, that he was certain he could hear the wolf starting to howl at the back of his head. That usually happened only right before he transformed.  
"I want to escape," it howled. He understood what it meant. It was telling him to run away. "Yes, run away," he said out loud. _Running away sounds like a really good idea right now._

James left the Tower, reached the Transfiguration corridor and stealthily slipped behind a tapestry depicting a scene from a medieval apothecary. Then, he took off his cloak and squinted in the dark, he couldn't see Remus anywhere. But he listened hard and heard a small sigh and muffled movement.  
"Moony?" he asked softly. No reply, but he then heard an odd scratching sound. He saw Remus' silhouette scratching at the stone wall with his fingernails, and James' body did that whole uncomfortable shivering thing that happens when someone scratches a blackboard.  
"Stop that!" he said, and Remus quickly removed his hand from the wall and hid it behind his back.

Jame wanted to look at Remus' face, so he took out his wand. His need for light surged from his brain, through his hand, and into his wand, and it switched on before he even said the incantation.

Remus leaned against the wall and shielded his eyes from the sudden light. "Maybe warn people before lighting that thing?"

"Yeah, sorry," said James, just realising he'd lit his wand non-verbally, but that didn't seem important now. He moved to stand beside Remus.

Remus was looking at him with eyes wide. "Why are you here?" he asked James.

 _What? What does he mean, why am I here?_  
"Well, I just wanted to check on you, so I came down to the Common room, you weren't there. Then I went to the library, Evans was there, so I asked her-"

"What?! What did she say?" Remus asked suddenly.

"Moony, what's going on? Marlene said something happened-"

"What was Lily doing?!" he asked frantically.

"She was just studying-"

"Did she seem weird to you? Different?"

"Just tell me what happened exactly."

Remus tried to explain without telling him what the girls had been talking about. But he didn't do a good job of it.

"What do you mean she looked at you?" he asked, completely confused.

"Like she knew! She knows, James!" said Moony, his hands scrunched up in his hair.

"Good God, Moony, stop that," said James, removing Remus' hands away from his hair. "She suspects you're a werewolf?"

"No, she _knows_ I'm a werewolf, Prongs! She knows, I am sure of it!" he said, one hand on his forehead.

"Did she ask you that?"

"No, but she was suspicious. So was Alice! _I told you_ , the way they looked at me, they knew!"

"How can you be sure? Maybe you were mistaken?"

"Alice asked Marlene directly if I was a- She thought it was weird that I could hear it from so far away. I think I also heard Alice say that she got nervous when she saw my face. They don't know it yet, but they could see the wolf! They saw it in my eyes!" exclaimed Remus.

"Remus! Remus, calm down. Just calm down, please! You'll hurt yourself," said James, grabbing his shoulders.

"Prongs, what was she doing in the library? Oh no, did you see what she was reading?"

"No, but-"

"If she doesn't know yet, she'll know soon enough! Then she'll tell her friends!"

"Moony-"

"That Robbie Ronan was there too-"

"Ronan?!"

"Then MacDonald will broadcast it on the nightly news! Tomorrow will be the day the _whole school_ finds out, and then Dumbledore will get sacked! Then… then…" Remus grasped at his hair again. "Oh God! Why did I have to be so stupid? Why, why, why? I couldn't just _shut up_ , could I?"

"Remus, only Alice and Lily know, that's what Marlene told me. Which means MacDonald and Ronan don't know anything," said James firmly, but it made no difference.

"Ronan and his gang will set me on fire in my bed one day-"

"Remus, he doesn't know!" said James loudly. "And we have no proof MacDonald actually knows either. There's a chance they haven't told her yet. We can stop them. We can talk to Lily, and Marlene already said she's gonna talk to Frank and Alice-"

"Frank?! Oh, of course Frank already knows. Alice must've told him..." Remus said mournfully. "Just like she must've told MacDonald-"

"Remus, I'll talk to her, I'll do anything it takes, just please, calm down," James said.

Remus slowly lowered his hands, his face miserable. "You know what? Maybe I'll handle this one on my own. You three have already done so much for me, I can't ask any more from you," he said.

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying we stop helping you?" said James sternly.

Remus covered his face and slid to the floor. "Uurgh, stop the _howling_ ," he moaned.

"Oh, Moony…"

Meanwhile, back in the Marauders' dorm, "That's it! I'm going down to ask Marly what's happened," said Sirius closing his book.

"He said twenty minutes, not two," Peter reminded him.

"I'm still going."

"I'm coming with," said Peter.

"No, you're not, you're practicing these charms if you don't want to fail your OWL," said Sirius seriously.

"You're right," said Peter dismally. "See you later... hope Remus is okay."

It was already past curfew, and he saw that the Common room was full. He walked up to Marly and grabbed her hand, "Marly, I need to talk to you," he said and pulled her away to near the Portrait Hole. His eyes widened as she quickly told him what had happened.

"Oh no! Do you think they'll tell?" he asked her.

"I've just spoken to Alice and Frank, they'll obviously not tell anyone. Did you know Alice has an uncle who's a werewolf?" she said.

"Really?"

Marlene nodded.

"And what about MacDonald?"

"Of course we haven't told her anything, Siri!"

"Oh, thank Godric! And-"

"And I've been thinking about Lily, Siri. She's a Prefect, so I reckon she'll tell McGonagall first. But then, Remus is her best friend, no offence, so she might not tell anyone actually," said Marlene. "She would want to talk to him first."

"I need to find him, he's probably worried sick by now," Sirius said, and turned towards the Portrait Hole. Then he heard his name being called. He groaned and turned around slowly. _What's the use of being the heir to all that fortune, when I can't get myself an invisibility cloak?_

It was a Prefect. "Black, it's past curfew. You can't go out now," he said.

"Yes, I know that, but this is urgent," said Sirius, trying to come up with an excuse.

"What's the matter?" the Prefect asked him.

 _Ugh, why don't you just fuck off!_ "Look, I can't tell you."

"Well, at least tell me where you're going?"

"Er, he needs to go to the Hospital Wing," Marlene told him in a low voice. People were already beginning to stare.

"Fine, I'll come with you," the Prefect said, and motioned to Sirius to walk out of the Portrait Hole.

Sirius shared a look with Marlene and followed the Prefect towards the Hospital Wing, which was completely in a different direction to where he wanted to go. The Prefect took something out of his pocket and popped it into his mouth.

"What's that?" asked Sirius.

"Just a Fudge Fly. Want one?" he asked, holding some out on his palm.

Sirius grinned and took one. "Thanks," he said and put it in his pocket. _I'll give it to Moony._

They were walking along a corridor where Sirius knew was the secret staircase to the upper floors, so he slowed down, waited for the Prefect to turn the corner and pushed the stone wall to reveal the staircase. He closed it and hurried up the stairs. He only hoped the Prefect didn't know about the staircase, but he didn't wait to find out. He sneaked out and walked towards the -fig wing. But it really wasn't Sirius' lucky day, because as soon as he turned a corner, Mrs. Norris was standing there in the middle of the corridor. She hissed and started towards him, and he had no choice but to turn around and run back the way he came. And it didn't end there. He nearly rammed into the Head Boy, Amos Diggory.

"Well well well, Sirius Black," he said immediately. "Out for a night time hunt, are we?"

Sirius bristled. "Hunt? What do you mean, hunt?" he asked.

"Well, isn't that what your family might call it?" he asked nastily.

"How the hell did you even get made Head Boy, huh?" Sirius asked him, trying to control his anger.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Diggory said, sneering.

Sirius knew it wasn't personal, he obviously knew everyone thought the Blacks were going to be first in line to back Voldemort. He was used to it, but it irritated him anyway. He took a deep breath. "Diggory, I'm not a death eater," he told him calmly, even though all he wanted to do was punch him in his stupid face.

"I don't care. You are out past curfew, and you deserve punishment," said Diggory, and he took Sirius' elbow and started dragging him towards McGonagall's office, and they walked past the tapestry.

Sirius stared at the tapestry worriedly. _Moony and Prongs are just behind it, damn this bigoted arsehole!_

"There you are, Black!" a voice called, and them two of them jumped. It was that Gryffindor Prefect again. Sirius wriggled out of Diggory's clutches.

"Jones! You scared the crap out of us!" Diggory told him irately. "What are you doing up? You're not even on duty tonight."

"Sorry, Diggory. But Black here, told me he needed to go to the Hospital wing, so I went with him. But he gave me the slip!" the prefect called Jones explained. "I've been looking for him."

Sirius let out a huff of frustration.

"Is that so? Have we spoiled your plans?" Diggory asked him.

"No doubt you were off to set one of your dodgy pranks in motion," Jones smirked, folding his hands.

"Or perhaps you had a more sinister motive?" asked Diggory, also folding his hands in what he thought was a very clever way.

Then Sirius just lost it. "Well, you've got me there, Diggory. I was just about to go down and meet some of my Slytherin pals, so they could get me in touch with _him_ ," he replied, and watched with satisfaction as Diggory's eyes widened. "With Voldemort, yeah, that's right… could've done it directly really, but I've fallen out of favour with my family because of the whole Gryffindor thing-"

"Okay, Black, that's enough, stop being ridiculous," said Jones, gesturing with his hands, and Diggory scowled, finally catching on.

"Just mucking about, mate," chuckled Sirius.

"I guess Professor McGonagall will be the judge of that," Diggory menacingly. Jones looked exasperated as Diggory got hold of Sirius' elbow again and literally started dragging him towards her office.

"Let go of me! I can walk on my own!" said Sirius said, wriggling again, but Diggory just laughed sadistically.

"We don't want you slipping away again, do we?" he said to Sirius.

"Diggory, what do you mean by 'a more sinister motive'?" asked Jones, now jogging to keep up, "Cos, I don't know if Dorcas told you this, but Black-"

"That hateful cat again, it just annoys me!" interrupted Diggory, as a cat poked it's tiny head from behind a suit of armour. Sirius recognised the spectacle markings around its eyes.

"Are you a complete idiot, Diggory?" asked Sirius.

"You Blacks are odd people. You have a soft spot for Mrs. Norris of all things?" Diggory asked him, sneering again. He had let go of Sirius and had his wand out now.

The cat jumped out from behind the plinth and stared at them.

"That's not Mrs. Norris, Diggory. That's Professor McGonagall's animagus form," Sirius informed them.

They gaped at her as she transformed back into her human self, and she had her hands on her hips. "Thanks for blowing my cover, Mr. Black," she said to Sirius.

Sirius smiled at her. "You show every class your animagus before teaching them animal -fig."

"Yes, but most students forget, and I have an edge," she said, pointing at the Prefect and Head boy. "But I guess you are not most students."

Sirius grinned.

"So, Mr. Diggory, you think I'm a hateful cat?" she asked.

Diggory looked highly embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Professor. I thought you were Mrs. Norris."

"For your information, Mrs. Norris helps Mr. Filch catch students out of bed. She's making your job easier, you should be thanking her, not hating on her," the professor told him.

"I'm sorry," he said, again. "It's just that she keeps following me around and calling Mr. Filch on me all the time."

Sirius sniggered. "Yeah, maybe cos she thinks you're a mischievous student out of bed, not an incompetent Head boy," he said unkindly.

"Mr. Black!" the professor said.

"Oops, did I say incompetent? I meant prejudiced," Sirius continued, looking daggers at Diggory.

Diggory narrowed his eyes at Sirius.

"I am warning you!" Minerva's eyes flashed.

Sirius looked at Minerva as if she'd betrayed him. "You know, when I was younger, I was under the _mistaken_ impression that being in other houses instead of Slytherin made one righteous. But you're not all ensconced in domesticity," he said, pointing at all three of them. "You, all of you, come with your own set of dimwitted illusions and anaemic propaganda."

"Enough with the pithy monologue, Sirius. What happened now?" asked Minerva. She knew Sirius was dramatic all the time, but that didn't mean what he said wasn't important.

"No, I get it, it's the human condition," he went on. "It's the _invisible faith_ that resides unseen in your blood. But I guess it's better than being in Slytherin, being constantly surrounded by their empty, lifeless, insipid language and their... h-homicidal proclivities which make you want to use the _Avada Kedavra_ on yourself!"

"What resides unseen?" asked Minerva, a little gently.

"Prejudice!" he answered.

Jones was in awe at Sirius' nerve.

"Is this true, Mr. Diggory?" Professor McGonagall asked him.

Diggory didn't respond. He didn't even understand the question, he was still trying to make sense of Sirius' monologue.

"Let me rephrase my question. Have you or have you not, without any proof, been equating Mr. Black with others in his family, simply for sharing a last name?" she asked him, her expression hard.

Diggory took a deep breath. "Yes, I did...Er, I got carried away. It's just that my family has suffered quite a lot in the hands of the Blacks," said Diggory.

"So have I," Sirius told him.

"I didn't hear an apology," said Minerva.

"I'm sorry," Diggory said grudgingly, and Sirius nodded, not believing for a moment that he was sorry.

"Now, what are you doing out of bed?" she asked Sirius.

"I was looking for Meadowes," he replied without hesitation. He had got the idea from what Jones had been trying to say, earlier. "I had an urgent matter to discuss with her…"

The professor raised an eyebrow and he knew she didn't believe him.

"Dorcas? Why didn't you say so earlier? She's down in the crypts tonight," said Jones, grinning.

"What crypts?!" asked Diggory, horrified, and Sirius laughed.

"Mr. Jones, I have told you multiple times to avoid referring to the dungeons as ' The crypts'," said Professor McGonagall. Then she turned to Sirius. "So you really were looking for Ms. Meadowes?" Sirius nodded. "Fine, then. I really must be going now, I have places to be," she said. "Mr. Jones, please show Mr. Black to Ms. Meadowes, and Mr. Diggory, you can be on your way now," she added. They all nodded at her and she left.

Sirius glanced at his watch. He wondered what places she had to be at 10.43 at night.


	34. Fudge Fly

"This way, Black," said Jones.

"The Crypts, huh? That's really funny, Jones," Sirius said, falling into step with him.

"A Marauder thinks I'm funny? That's quite the honour," he said, grinning. "It was actually my sister Hestia who came up with it. She was a Hufflepuff, and she always says that 'the dungeons' wasn't an evil enough name for the abode of our slithery counterparts."

"Fascinating. I'm always going to refer to the dungeons as 'The Crypts' from now on," Sirius said, chuckling. Diggory joined them.

"Hey Diggory, that's what I was trying to tell you earlier, Black's part of Dorcas' crew now," Jones told him.

"Really?" said Diggory judgmentally.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be her date to Slughorn's party," Sirius told him.

"Now, how did you manage that?" Diggory asked.

"It's all part of the cover, Diggory. No need to get jealous," Sirius told him, smiling slyly.

They walked in silence till they reached The Crypts. Dorcas heard their footsteps and spun around in a flash.

"Whoa there, Crypt keeper," said Jones, raising his hands in mock-surrender. She lowered her wand and smiled at them.

"Dorcas! I've never been so happy to see you," said Sirius and ran over to hug her. "Please, please get rid of them," he whispered in her ear. Diggory looked really jealous.

"That's funny, Sirius, most of the time I find you glowering at me," she said, smiling up at him and pushing him away.

"Er…"

"Here's your charge, Dorcas," said Jones.

"Thanks gentlemen, I got this, you can go now," she told them.

"Are you sure? I can stay if you'd like," said Diggory, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I can take care my myself _and_ do my job, thanks Diggory," said Dorcas, and they left, Diggory a bit reluctantly.

"Dorcas, I need to find Remus now!" said Sirius, walking fast.

"Then why are you out here?" she asked, jogging to keep up with him.

"Because he's out here."

"I'm coming with you!"

"Why? Don't you believe me?"

"Because obviously something is wrong, and I'm his friend too."

"Fine!"

They ran to the Great Hall and Dorcas guessed where they were headed. "Are we headed to the shortcut to the -fig corridor?"

"Yes, how many people know about it?"

"Not many. Just a couple of Prefects. And the Head girl."

They entered the tunnel and climbed a narrow, uneven stone staircase to reach the upper floors, and then they slowed down when they heard voices.

"-she probably won't want to talk to me anymore," said a worried voice, and Dorcas recognised it as Remus'.

"That is totally not true," said James. "She's quite broad-minded. And anyway, muggles and muggleborns are usually more chill about these kind of things than stuffy old purebloods who have been ingrained with generations of prejudice... Isn't your mum a muggle? She accepted you, didn't she?"

"She's my mother, she's _supposed_ to love me," said Remus. Then there was a pause. "No, you're right, she chose to love me. She didn't have to love me... look at Sirius' mother, she wishes he had never been born-"

"What!" James exclaimed.

Dorcas glanced at Sirius, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness, and noted his worried expression.

"What did you just say?" asked James again.

"Oh God, don't tell him I said that! _Why do I keep doing this?!_ Please don't ask him about it, I don't want to lose him again," said Remus.

"Fine Moony, I won't!" said James. "But I'm serious, Evans is not going to tell anyone, stop worrying. We'll just talk to her-"

Remus rest his head on the stone wall behind him. "Really James, I'm serious too. Whatever Lily and Alice do, I'm sure I can deal with it, I cannot accept more favours from you guys."

" _Favours?_ " asked James. "You don't get it, do you? We're doing this because we love you. It's not some favour we're bestowing!"

"I'm just tired. Just... so freaking tired of watching you guys struggle with my problems!" said Remus.

"Moony, stop it. We know you would have done exactly the same for us," said James.

"I'm grateful, James. I really am. But when you've worked so hard to solve one problem, there's another. Then you solve that, and then Severus! I honestly don't even blame Sirius! How long can a person keep this kind of secret for?! Who am I to have been mad at him anyway?!" Remus said.

"You know I hate it when you spout all this self-hate, Moony!" James said.

"It's not that. With me there's just these issues after issues. You three _literally_ risked your lives to solve one problem and then a new one crops up. Then you act it's no big deal. _Let's just go forth and solve this one too!_ Especially you, Prongs. I'm just tired of watching you guys struggle for me this much! It just never ends, and I feel _so_ guilty!" Remus said, tearing up.

"Moony, you just don't understand. How do I explain this to you?" James said, also sounding really frustrated now.

There was a silence, just punctuated with Remus' sniffles.

"You're wrong," Sirius said suddenly. Dorcas jumped a little.

"Sirius?" James asked, picking his wand up off the floor and pointing it at them.

"And Dorcas…" she announced awkwardly, and Remus looked up, horrified.

 _Can this night get any worse?_ "Now _Dorcas_ heard everything?!" asked Remus.

"Don't worry, Moony, you haven't said anything incriminating," Sirius reassured him, and walked over to him. "But you're wrong. You want us to give up because you worry about us. But that the same reason we do this! We worry about you," he told Remus, and knelt beside him.  
"Moony. Get this into your head," he continued. "I don't know about the others, but I _can't_ live without you. I... I literally cannot exist in a world where you are you don't. You think we are doing all this for you? No. We're doing this _for us_. Because _we_ need you. Not the other way around!"

Dorcas was in awe. _Poetry. That sounded like poetry. And here I was thinking Remus was the mature one._

Remus tried to say something, but it seemed he couldn't find the words to express what was on his mind. In the end, he just nodded.

"Exactly. Finally, he gets it!" James said, ruffling Remus' hair.

"I'm sorry about-"

"It's fine, Moony. Come here," said Sirius, taking Remus into his arms. Remus slowly put his arms around Sirius' waist and relaxed into the hug.

"Since when did you become so articulate, Padfoot?" James asked. Remus chuckled, still holding onto Sirius.

"Fuck off, Prongs, I've always... I was just telling the truth," replied Sirius, and if it had been bright enough, Dorcas would've been able to see Sirius' blush. Remus hugged him tighter.

Dorcas suddenly realised she shouldn't be invading their privacy, so she made her way around them, towards the tapestry on the -fig side. "James? May I have a word?" she asked.

"Yeah, Sure."

Dorcas pushed the tapestry slightly and checked the corridor. "All clear," she said and stepped out, and James followed her. "Is he okay? Physically, I mean. I think we should take him to the Hospital Wing."

"He has a fever," James said, nodding. "We should take him."

"You look pretty exhausted too," she observed.

James grinned. "Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix."

She nodded, and silence fell between them. Then she looked at him again and smiled. "They…" she said but didn't know what to say next.

But it seemed he understood. "I know," he said, nodding. "There are no two people more meant for each other than those two."

Dorcas smiled. _By Godric,_ _this boy's heart is so pure.  
_ "Remus may have a lot of problems, but he's lucky to have such a loyal friend like you," she told him.

"Thanks, Dorcas. But I don't aim to be loyal, or even try hard. Loyalty comes easily to me," he told her, leaning on the railing. She looked at him thoughtfully.

Inside the tunnel, Sirius took a deep breath and let go of Remus and leaned away from him to look him in the eye. Remus looked up at him, there was something inviting in his eyes. Sirius brushed Remus' hair off his forehead and kissed it. He stayed in that position for a few moments, taking in the smell of Remus' hair. "Remus, you have a very high fever," he said.

"Do I?" said Remus, touching his own forehead. "Hmm yeah. Here, help me up," he said.

"You are going to the Hospital wing," James told Remus, as soon as he emerged with Sirius supporting him. "You look like shit."

Remus smiled at him. "Okay," he said. Then he looked at Dorcas. "Sorry you had to see that. I'm sure it wasn't pretty," he said, as they started towards the Hospital wing. Dorcas was leading, obviously.

"I think it's rather healthy to throw tantrums every once in a while. You get a nice stress release," she said, turning back to give him a grin. The boys chuckled.

"Very true. Our Sirius here throws a tantrum every two hours, in fact," said James.

"Hey!"

Dorcas laughed. "Maybe that's why he so relaxed and able to maintain his good looks," she said. Sirius grinned, showing the two of them his teeth.

James groaned.

"Do not encourage him, Dorcas," said Remus, shaking his head at her.

There were two people lying on two of the beds in the Hospital wing. Remus hoped they were sleeping, but they were not. They turned out to be two Hufflepuff girls from the year below. They had on bandages on parts of their faces and neck, but that did not stop them from exchanging gleeful smiles as the Marauders walked in with Dorcas.

"Ladies, will you please try and get some rest," said Dorcas in a very strict voice. The girls looked pouty but lay back down.

The Marauders smirked at each other. Dorcas told Remus to sit on one of the beds, farthest away from the girls and then they went to get Madam Pomfrey. As soon as she opened her door and saw James' face, she asked, "Is it Remus?"

Dorcas, immediately realising that they would want to discuss his health in private, walked over to sit with Remus. He smiled at her as she sat down.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked him. He looked confused. "With your… I don't know, your problem. I can see it's eating at you," she said.

Remus shook his head glumly. "There's nothing anyone can do. Only face the consequences," he said, avoiding her eye.

"My, that sounds morbid. Well at least tell me this," she asked. He turned to face her again. "Did you guys snog yet? I'm dying to know," she said, her eyes suddenly alight with such excitement, that Remus chuckled.

"Not yet," he said regretfully. "Now I'm beginning to doubt if he even likes me, you know," and she huffed.

"Oh, come on, it was the perfect moment. He basically told you he loves you… and you both were alone in a nice dark tunnel..." she said.

Remus chuckled again. "Perfect moment, still nothing... hence the doubt, Dorcas. And anyway, it's not that simple, he's my mate. It could become really complicated."

"I hope it didn't become awkward between you two?" she asked, with concern.

"Erm... maybe we need another one of those moments. Or perhaps an alcohol-fuelled, Slytherin themed party would do instead," he said, winking at her.

"That's the spirit, Remus! I'm proud of how much you've grown," she said, thumping his back.

"It was Lily's idea," he confessed. They were laughing together as the other two walked over.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked them, but they just chuckled again. Dorcas stood up as Madam Pomfrey approached.

"How long have you had this fever?" Poppy asked Remus, handing him a few boom berries to eat.

"No, not boom berries… Please, I hate them," he whined. The others grinned at each other.

"Do not behave like a child, Remus, they help with the fever. Now, the fever. How long?" she asked. James and Sirius chuckled.

"A couple of hours?" he told her, grimacing at the sour taste of the berries.

"You really need to stop stressing so much," she chided him.

"I can't help it," he said.

Then, she took his hand and examined his fingernails, and Remus glared at James, knowing he told her about the wall-scratching. "You don't have to tell Madam Pomfrey everything," he said.

"I was worried," said James guiltily. "You do know that is not normal behaviour, right?"

"It's normal for me," said Remus, but that just made everyone more worried. Remus sighed. "It- it distracts me, my fingers are fine," he said, taking his hand back.

Madam Pomfrey nodded and performed a diagnostic charm over him.

James could see that Dorcas was pretending like she didn't hear that conversation and was thankful. _The last thing Remus needs right now is suspicious or curious looks from yet another person._

Sirius didn't notice anything, nor did he care. His eyes were fixed on Remus.

"Um, so what is the time?" Dorcas asked James. She tapped on her own watch. "My watch has stopped."

"It's a quarter to one," he told her, smiling a little.

"Right, I better get back to the dungeons," she said, shaking her head.

"Jones calls them The Crypts!" said Sirius, and everyone laughed, including Madam Pomfrey.

"He does! It drives Slughorn insane," said Dorcas.

"And he called you the Crypt Keeper earlier!" said Sirius. Dorcas pretended to be offended.

"Off you go now, boys. You can come see him tomorrow," said Madam Pomfrey, pushing Remus back onto the pillows. Sirius tossed Remus the Fudge Fly that Jones had given him, and Remus' face lit up.

"Wait, what is that?" asked Madam Pomfrey, grabbing it. "Oh, you can have this. I only asked because some sweets counteract the medication," she said, giving it back to Remus.

"Thanks," he said to both of them, and happily opened the sweet wrapper.

"Right. I'll see these two off to the Tower before I head down, then," said Dorcas, and she and Madam Pomfrey nodded at each other. Remus smiled to himself.

"We don't need you to see us off," Sirius told her as they made their way out of the Hospital wing.

"If you think I'm gonna let two Marauders loose in the castle at one in the morning, you're kidding yourselves," she said lightly.

When they reached the Fat Lady's Portrait, Lily was standing there, she appeared to be waiting for them.

"Where is he?" she said immediately.

"Good of you lads to come back so soon," said the Fat Lady sarcastically. "The poor thing has been waiting for you for twenty minutes, now!"

"He's fine, he's in the Hospital wing," said James. She quickly started for the Hospital wing.

"He's sleeping, Evans, he has a fever," said Sirius.

"I'll be quick," she said.

"Evans, about the thing-" James called after her.

"I know, Potter! No one's telling anyone anything! I care about Remus too, you know," she yelled back.

James smiled. "I'm going to ask her out tomorrow," he said.

"And get rejected for the millionth time, but okay," said Sirius, and Dorcas and the Fat Lady laughed.

The next evening found James tying a bar of chocolate to the tails of some enchanted purple balloons. "These will be brilliant, Sirius," he said, and waved his wand. The balloons floated over to Lily's table, carrying the chocolate bar.

Mary looked up at the balloons and grinned. She nudged Marlene, who looked up and chuckled at the floating balloons. "Attempt number 34, Lily Evans," Marlene said.

Alice and Lily looked up at the balloons, and Lily sighed. "Which one of you told Potter that my favourite flavour is Peanut and Pretzel?"

Alice grinned sheepishly. "Guilty as charged-"

"Alice!"

"But Black was being so… he has a wickedly irresistible puppy-dog face, I tell you!" said Alice.

Marlene laughed. "I know that face," she said, nodding, and Lily shook her head.

"You're supposed to be _my_ friend, Alice."

"Yeah, Alice. Disappointing behaviour," said Mary, and laughed.

The balloons moved down a bit and now the chocolate bar was right in front of Lily's nose. She tried to swat it away, but it came back. Then, she huffed and untied the balloons from the chocolate, and walked over to where James and Sirius were sitting. James looked delighted. The balloons followed her over. "Are these balloons going to follow me around forever?" she asked.

"Only until you say yes," said James, grinning.

"What am I saying yes for?" she asked. At the word 'yes', one balloon burst, and a few yellow chrysanthemums fell on her.

"Go out with me this Saturday," said James, standing up.

"Are you ever going to drop this? No, no, a thousand times no!" she said loudly. Then suddenly, all the balloons on top of her head burst and a stinky, sticky green liquid drenched her. "Aargh!" she screamed. The liquid dyed her white shirt and skin green. "What the hell is this?! How dare you, Potter!" and then she threw the chocolate bar at his face, and it his nose hard. Her friends ran up to her.

"Ouch!" said James, rubbing his nose. "What! I had no idea this would happen? Please, I'm sorry!"

"I did," said Sirius, sniggering.

"Sirius?! Why would you do that?" yelled James, shoving him. Sirius was busy laughing.

"Godric, Lily, you stink," said Marlene, edging away. Lily's eyes filled with tears.

"Potter, how could you?" said Alice. "So, this is what happens if I take a chance and help you, is it?"

"No, I-" James began.

"You're a spineless, misogynistic worm, Potter! You do not deserve Lily!" yelled Mary, and whipped her wand out and performed the _Jelly-legs_ jinx on him. Sirius guffawed as he watched James wobble pathetically.

Then the girls then marched Lily up the stairs.

"That was too funny!" said Sirius, he was still laughing, holding his stomach.

"Fantastic wing-man behaviour," James told him angrily and undid the _Jelly-legs._ "Let's high-five, your face and this chair!" Sirius kept laughing. "I'm _so_ mad at you, Sirius, I can't even look at you right now," he said and walked out of the Portrait hole. He wanted to find Remus and Peter and tell them everything.

Sirius followed him, still laughing. "Well, what did you expect? Wormtail and I got those balloons from Zonko's, after all!"

You know that hair you love so much, Padfoot? I wonder how you brush it so that your horns don't show?" said James scathingly, but Sirius found that funny as well. He just laughed more. "I wonder what you would do if all of it fell out in the middle of the night," James continued through gritted teeth, and Sirius stopped laughing slowly.

"You wouldn't!" he said, holding his hair protectively.

"You've really done it this time," said James, walking furiously.

"Prongs, come on, mate," said Sirius, running after him.

"Don't even bother!"

"It was just a joke! She just needs to have a shower!"

Then there was a squeal heard in the corridor. Sirius Black stood there with artichokes for ears.


	35. Oolitic Jasper

"I cannot stress this enough," said Slughorn, looking around at everyone in the class. "During your OWL practical exam, you won't get _any_ help from me or your fellow classmates. To make your potion properly, you will need to correctly identify the ingredients you'll be using. I notice that most of you can identify correctly, the ingredients obtained from animal parts, like eye of newt, for example, but many of you are having trouble identifying the herbs."

Everyone nodded their heads.

"Today, you will be given thirty minutes to revise, and after that, each of you will be asked to come forward and pick out a specific herb or plant part, out of these three hundred specimens I have placed on this table," he said, and everyone panicked.

"A surprise test?!" cried Altham.

"He hasn't given us enough time to prepare," said Remus, quickly opening _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_.

"I know, he should've told us last week," said Peter.

"Don't worry, children, this won't count towards your final, as you know," said the professor, grinning at everyone. "Think of this as a practice session."

Everyone opened their books and started revising, still murmuring amongst themselves.

" _Children?_ " whispered Arvid, and Milla giggled.

"Hey Moony, check this out," said Sirius, showing him the diagram of a plant. "This herb is called _Lovage_ ," he said, grinning.

"An old-world medicinal plant, Lovage is quite hardy, able to withstand harsh winters," Remus read off the page. "Cool. But I don't think he'll be testing us on plants we haven't used yet," he said and went back to his own book.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Did you know, the name Lovage derives from the word, 'love-ache'?" said James, grinning at them. He'd clearly been listening in. "It's most efficacious in inflaming the brain..."

Remus smiled to himself, and it made Sirius very happy.

"Look at your own book, Sirius," Remus muttered.

"I already know everything, Moony," Sirius replied, waving his hand.

Soon, the thirty minutes were up and the professor started picking students to identify the specimens on the table. Sirius wasn't too worried. He had a photographic memory, and he remembered almost all the plants he'd worked with over the years. And when he was called gave the answer confidently and correctly. His specimen was a Plagentine fruit.

Peter had an easy one, a Sopophorous bean, and James named his Root of Asphodel correctly.

"Perfect, Mr. Potter," said Slughorn, and Severus scoffed loudly. "Anything you want to say, Mr. Snape?" asked Slughorn, and Remus and Sirius exchanged glances. They didn't know why Slughorn purposely liked stirring up drama in his own classes. Maybe he was just bored.

"That was an easy one," said Severus.

"Fine, I'll name the others then," said James. "That's the pith of a tangelo," he said, pointing to some thin, off-white strips. "Those are walnut kernels, that's the leaf from a Chinese chomping cabbage-"

Lily rolled her eyes. _What a couple of show-offs. I could name them all as well._ But she didn't know that something different was at play here.

"Anyone can name these easy specimens," Severus said, standing up and gesturing at the table. "If you're a true potions expert, Potter, can you name the specimen I show you?" Students in the class exchanged looks.

"Sure," said James, folding his hands.

Severus smirked at him, walked to the store cupboard and came back with something inside a brown paper bag. As soon as he took the unknown specimen out, it had such a pungent aroma that it actually made Remus' eyes water a little. Severus showed it to James. Everyone in the class tried to get a glimpse of the specimen. "Tell me what this is, Potter," he said.

James took the specimen and looked it over. It was the bark of some tree. "It looks like the bark of a tree from a mountainous terrain," he said, sniffing it. "It's not Cedar... Cedar smells different. It's..."

"Common Mountain Ash," announced Slughorn, taking the piece of bark. "Also called Rowan, Quickbane, Thor's Helper, Sorb's Apple etc."

"Thor's Helper?" asked James, grinning.

"Yes," said Slughorn. "Victorian muggle folklore says it's supposed to ward off witches and wizards."

Everyone in the class sniggered, especially the Slytherins, who already thought muggles were dim-witted. Lily and Mary looked angry.

"We've had werewolf apotropaics since the days of the mass werewolf attacks in France, also named 'Attacks of the Beast of Gevaudan'. In our own stories, Rowans have been known to be used to ward off werewolves, but they're not nearly as powerful as aconite," Slughorn continued. "I don't believe they do anything other than make them sneeze or something." Everyone laughed again. "Then, there's yew. Well, that's basically harmful to all wild creatures and livestock, not just werewolves. Rye? Only when ingested, but not fatal. Some say mistletoe helps, that's complete rubbish too."

Alice and Frank exchanged concerned looks, but had enough sense not to turn around to look at Remus.

Lily finally realised what the whole thing was about. This was about Severus getting his revenge for something that supposedly happened between them. Even though she and Remus had had a long talk about his condition the other night, he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell her what'd happened with Severus.

Sirius and Peter looked at Remus, he wiped his watering eyes and shrugged at them, like it was _nothing_. Like Severus hadn't purposely _read up_ on _werewolf repellents_ , _gone out on a hike_ and brought back the bark of a Rowan just so he could try and reveal Remus _in front of everyone_!

James was glaring at Severus. _I'll fuckin' put you in the ground, you sick, sick worm!_  
But he knew, if he did anything, unwanted questions will be raised again.

"The Wiggentree is a magical variety of the Rowan, which we all know, has many uses," Slughorn said, picking up an inflorescence of the Wiggentree and showing it to the class. "But I don't think the Rowan has any special powers to be used in potions... er, where did you get this, Mr. Snape?"

Severus smirked again. "From inside the cupboard, of course," he lied.

"Oh? Hmm," said Slughorn, wondering from which corner of the store cupboard Severus had found the herb. _Perhaps I need to make an inventory again._

Lily frowned at the two of them. "Well professor, I think it's time to move on," she said, noticing James' expression and his balled up fists, afraid he might do something reckless.

"Yes, yes, my dear," said Slughorn. He looked almost disappointed that nothing else had happened. "Gentlemen, if you could please get back to your seats?"

Severus folded his arms in a satisfied manner and sneered at James as he made his way back.

"I want to teach him a lesson," growled James as he sat down. "No one messes with the Marauders and gets away with it."

"I'll help you," said Sirius.

"Can we please not do anything to goad him on?" said Peter sensibly.

"Yes, thank you," said Remus. "And thanks to Lily who saved the day."

Finally, the quiz session ended, and Slughorn was telling everyone to brush up on their botanical knowledge over the Christmas holidays, but James wasn't listening. He was secretly plotting to avenge Sirius and Remus. He decided he wouldn't let this go. Severus had gone too far this time. _He is so diabolical. What do these Slytherins actually think? That they'd dish out anything and we'd just keep quiet like a bunch of Hufflepuffs?!_ _First on the list - Nefarius Mulciber and Walden Macnair, for what they did to Sirius._

Soon, the evening of Slughorn's Christmas party had arrived, and at seven, Remus (and James in the background) waited at the base of the stairs for Lily. She appeared at the door to the girls' side with Mary, grinned at Remus and proceeded to cautiously climb down the stairs.

"Careful with my bracelet," Mary called after her.

"I'll guard it with my life, Mary," said Lily.

Mary heard a laugh behind her and turned around. It was Pratap Patil. "Why are you laughing?" she asked him, admiring his embroidered Sherwani robes.

"Just remembered a proverb from the Telugu language," he said, smiling at her.

"And what's that?"

"She lent her a sari, and followed her around with a stool," he said. Mary put her hands on her hips. "It basically means this woman loans her friend a sari, and then she's so afraid the friend's gonna spoil it, she walks around behind her, holding a small stool for the entire duration of the function... you know, cos people in India sit on the floor a lot..."

"I got it the first time, you didn't have to explain it," said Mary, pouting.

"Sorry," he said. "But it was quite appropriate to this situation-"

"It's made of Oolitic Jasper, the bracelet, but I can be chill about it if I wanted to," said Mary, then she looked at his robes. "So, you got invited to Slughorn's party, then?"

Pratap grinned and nodded.

"Did your bushy eyebrows get an invitation each?"

He chuckled. "Ravenclaw chick from sixth year asked me. Melanie Clearwater."

"Cool, have fun, I guess," she said and turned towards the girls' side. Then she turned back to face him again. "You look really nice, by the way. White really suits you."

"Thanks, MacDonald," he said. She nodded and walked through the girls' door. Pratap stood there, staring at the door, wishing he was going to the party with Mary instead.

James was sitting a few tables away, hiding behind a book, Remus having warned him to stay away. His jaw dropped. Lily looked _divine_ in a green full-length dress with black lace decorating it, and her hair was in perfect finger waves. She was wearing sky high heels in black. James thought she looked like the perfect Slytherin princess, but that didn't prevent him from dramatically clutching his chest and falling out of his seat, as they passed. Lily huffed and held onto Remus' arm tighter, but Remus saw a hint of a smile on her lips.

"An interpretation of what I wanted to tell you," he said, as soon as they went through the Portrait hole.

"What's that?" she asked.

"You're a knockout," he said, and she laughed.

"Where are Dorcas and Black?" she asked.

"I didn't see them, but James said they left like half an hour ago," he replied.

"Oh," she said guiltily. "Sorry, I'm so late, I had a slight disagreement with someone..."

Remus narrowed his eyes jovially. "And who might that someone be?"

"I'll tell you later," she said, and they entered Slughorn's magically extended study. They immediately looked around for Dorcas and Sirius, but they didn't appear to be nearby. They slowly made their way to the drinks and grabbed a butterbeer each.

Remus observed the guests. "There seem to be a lot of notable people here," he said to Lily.

"Big surprise there. It's always a big networking event rather than a party," she scoffed.

"Where are they?" Remus said, losing his patience.

Lily laughed. She pointed to a distance, where there were some seventh year girls sitting around a table. "I'm just going to go say hi to them," she said, and walked off.

Remus walked with her, and stood nearby, leaning against the piano. A young man with a tan, wearing maroon dress robes was at the piano. He couldn't be more than twenty, and yet, he played a particularly difficult melody with ease, and Remus was impressed.

Lily reached the table. "Charlotte. Love the smokey eye," she said. Charlotte Briggs looked up, "Lily, you look stunning. Why don't you join us?" she said, pulling up the empty chair, and Lily graciously sat down.

The girls went back to their discussion, which was basically a rundown of the best dressed males at the party.

"Gideon and Fabian Prewett look _tasty_ ," said one of the girls, and the others murmured in agreement.

"I cannot believe I am saying this out loud, but Nott doesn't look too shabby either. Even if he is wearing that _hideous_ wig," said another girl.

"Why is he wearing that wig?" asked another.

"He lost a bet, apparently."

"His shoes are mint."

"Does Gideon have a girlfriend?"

"No, he's the sleeping around type."

"Huh. An interesting idea comes to mind, Yvonne," and the girls laughed.

"Hell, no!"

"Come on, Yvonne. Who else to do it with, for the first time, than one with so much experience?"

"Fine, if you can manage an introduction. Look, Bulstrode is already sticking to him like a leech." Remus couldn't help looking over at Gideon Prewett and Eglantine Bulstrode, dancing to the tune of the piano.

"I say, Remus Lupin doesn't look too bad. He's _so tall_ ," he heard one of them say and nearly spit out his drink. Thankfully, he had his back to them. He heard Lily giggle. The piano man looked up at Remus with a smile, as he played.

"No, not bad at all," said another. "Hmm. I didn't even know he owned other clothes. He's always in his school robes."

"Who's he with?" they asked her.

"Me. He's my date," Lily told them awkwardly, and they chuckled.

"Lupin? With you? I thought he and Dorcas were an item?"

"No," he heard her reply. "They're just really close friends."

"Is he single, then?"

"Um, he… he did mention once or twice that he was seeing this girl back in his village." Remus told himself to thank her later.

"Aw, pity. He seems the loyal type." Remus assumed Lily nodded at them.

"They're talking about you, aren't they? You're Lupin?" the piano man asked him, he spoke with an accent. it seemed he could talk and still play amazingly at the same time.

Remus chuckled. "Unfortunately, yes," he replied.

"You are _very_ tall," he said. _  
_

"Thanks, I guess," said Remus, scratching his head. The man grinned.

"Dorcas is here with _Sirius Black_ ," one of the girls declared, and the others girls gasped and exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, how did _she_ manage to snag him as her date?"

"It had to be Lupin's matchmaking..."

Hmph!"

"Have you taken a look at him today? How can one person even look _so_ gorgeous?"

Remus looked around curiously, but he couldn't spot them anywhere. _Where are they?_

The piano man finished his set and everyone clapped. "You play exceptionally well," Remus blurted out. "It's a pleasure just to watch your fingers move over the keys."

The man grinned. "Thank you. It is not everyday that I meet another Lycan who enjoys the finer things in life," he said.

Remus's grin faltered. "Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Nyctimus. I am a travelling musician," he replied calmly.

"And how did you know I was a…" Remus blinked. "Wait a second, are you serious? Your name is _Nyctimus_? Like the son of the legendary King Lycaon of Arcadia? The world's first werewolf?!"

Nyctimus laughed and nodded. "I was named after him, yes."

"How ironic is that?" said Remus.

"Exactly as ironic as yours. First name from Remus and Romulus of Rome who suckled a she-wolf, complete with a lupine last name. Your name is basically (wolf) whole squared," said Nyctimus and Remus laughed. He also remembered Greyback's first name, Fenrir, which was from a Norse werewolf legend. Even Sirius' name seemed to be similarly foretelling.

"You got me there, it is kind of like a prophecy, isn't it?" said Remus.

"That is exactly what my great-grandmother said before she died," said Nyctimus. "She was the one who named me, she was a great soothsayer and the matriarch of our family."

"A soothsayer?"

Nyctimus nodded. "Kind of like a seer... an oracle."

"It's an interesting theory. How did you know I'm a... a Lycan, by the way?" Remus lowered his voice and asked, afraid that he wasn't hiding his condition well.

"When you were searching for your friends, I could see it in your eyes," Nyctimus explained.

"Was it that obvious?"

"Not to someone who's a boring human of course," he said, grinning.

Remus was pleasantly surprised. He couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, I know what you are thinking in your head. It is the humans who make us feel inferior. But the truth is, we are more advanced that them, and that scares them. So they make up laws and pass bills."

"All my life, not once did I think this way," said Remus.

"It is not your fault. Here in England, I can see that the prejudice against Lycans is high," he told Remus, nodding. "It is a pleasure to see a Lycan at school, though. At least some humans are sensible."

"But aren't we humans too?" asked Remus. "You keep saying humans as if we are something entirely different."

"Aren't we?" he questioned. Remus was about to answer, when he sensed someone. Lily came up from behind him, and smiled nervously at him, her hand on the small of his back.

"Who's your friend, Remus?" she asked him, and Nyctimus quickly stood up, smiled and gave her his hand to shake. Remus noticed her hand tremble a little as she took it. "Nyctimus. I am your entertainment for tonight," he told her and she smiled.

"Lily. Nice to meet you," she said, relaxing a little.

"Ah, you are as heavenly as your namesake," he told her.

"Thanks," she replied. "Remus, it might be your turn to fall dramatically to the floor," she then said, pointing to a far corner of the room, near the windows. Nyctimus leaned in and followed her finger too. Dorcas was standing with her back to the wall, scanning the crowded room. She looked years younger in her cream coloured romper dress and crown braid. Remus knew she had her wand hidden under her full sleeves. Nyctimus looked interestedly at her.  
Then someone moved and Remus saw Sirius put an arm around Dorcas' shoulders and mutter something in her ear.

" _H-holy Merlin_ ," he managed to stutter. Sirius was wearing a crisp Muggle suit, cut to precision, complete with cuff links and black leather oxfords. His hair was up in a bun. _I didn't even know buns could look that sexy._

Remus and Lily glanced at each other open mouthed. Remus knew that as a muggleborn, she could fully appreciate the suit.

"Can someone tell me how a wizard who has never moved in muggle society before, know how to pull off a suit?" she asked. "Where did he even buy it?"

"Knowing Sirius, it's probably bespoke," said Remus.

Lily looked up at his face. "Be still, Remus' heart," said Lily, patting his chest. They both chuckled.

"Is that her boyfriend?" Nyctimus asked, as they watched Sirius lazily sip wine from his goblet.

Lily laughed. "Remus wishes he were his!" she said and Nyctimus chuckled.

"Hey!"

"By Artemis, he _is_ one of the most beautiful people I have ever laid my eyes on," said Nyctimus, and they grinned at him.


	36. Fragrance of Tuberose

"Goddess of the moon," Remus said.

"Yes, of course. Artemis is a benevolent maiden, to those who believe," replied Nyctimus, nodding.

"Sadly, he has not much else to recommend himself," said Lily, shaking her head, still looking at Sirius and Dorcas.

"Is that so?"

"That is not true. Sirius is wonderful, you don't know anything," Remus said, pouting.

They chatted for a while, Nyctimus told them about his homeland of Greece, and how he had dropped out of school to become a pianist. Remus felt a fresh inspiration as he listened to him talk. _Maybe the future isn't so bleak after all._

"Well, I must get back to what I am being paid for. It was nice meeting you two," he said, giving them a small bow.

"You too. It was inspiring, what you said earlier," Remus told him. Nyctimus winked and walked back to his piano.

"Look, I see Francois Antoine over there. Come on," she said, pulling at his arm. Remus groaned. Antoine from Ravenclaw, was not an interesting person. "All he talks about is Potions, Lily. And some potions. And more poti-"

"No, he doesn't! Stop being rude and come!" she said.

"He's so pretentious!" whispered Remus, as she dragged him over.

"Hello Evans, I must say, you look ravishing!" said Francois, and Remus rolled his eyes. "Hello Lupin." He offered them both some pistachios in a bowl.

"Hi."

"Hey Antoine."

"So, Evans, did you read the _Prophet_ yesterday?"

"No, anything special in it?"

Antoine told them about an article he'd read, and Remus tuned out. It was almost like listening to Binns, except more annoying.

After about twenty minutes or so, Remus thought he saw James amongst the crowd. But then he disappeared. Then he reappeared again, looking frantic. "James!" he called and walked over to him.

"Moony! There you are, you must come quickly. Dorcas has been injured!"

"What! How?"

"Come, I'll explain on the way," he said, dragging him out of the room and towards the Hospital wing. They almost ran there. "We think it was a death eater! She kept saying he was walking oddly as if he was under Polyjuice Potion."

"What!"

"Yeah, Dumbledore has already contacted the Ministry. I reckon they'll be shutting down the party soon."

"What exactly happened, Prongs. Start from the beginning!"

"I'm not exactly sure. All I know is, I was patrolling the corridor outside Slughorn's office in my cloak, and a man walked out. He was walking slowly and warily. I saw Dorcas follow him out and I followed them from a distance. I think he realised that someone was following him, because he purposely led her to an empty corridor and whipped around. They started duelling and she got hit with some jinx, Moony! I stunned him from under my cloak, and ran over to her. She couldn't even stand properly. She told me he might be a death eater, and then she fainted! I carried her to the Hospital wing before coming to fetch you." James said, all in one breath. He was panting.

The two boys burst into the Hospital Wing and ran towards Dorcas' bed. She was still unconscious. McGonagall and Dumbledore were standing over her, talking urgently. James and Remus looked at each other gravely. They were both thinking the same thing. _Death eaters in the castle. How is anyone safe anymore?  
_ They sat beside her in silence for a long time.

"You know what? I'll go down and get Lily and Sirius up here. They'll want to know what happened," said Remus, getting to his feet. James nodded, and Remus went back down to the party.

He met a tempestuous Lily just beyond the doorway. "Remus! What are you doing here? I mean, let's go," she said, pushing him out again.

"Wait, I need to get Sirius too, something's happened," he said, pushing her hands away.

"What happened?" she asked, blocking his path again.

"Lily, what's the matter with you? I have to find Sirius as well," he said, trying to sidestep her, his eyes travelling the room. Then he froze. Sirius was on the dance floor with his arms around Amanda Wallace, and they were snogging. _Passionately._

Lily followed Remus' line of sight and sighed. "Remus, let's go. Don't…" she said, pushing him again.

Remus blinked at them, the way Sirius was holding Amanda's body so close to his... it didn't look like he was doing it just because he was drunk or something. And then he couldn't watch anymore. He turned around and walked out quickly. He wanted to get as far away from that damn party as possible.

Lily tried to run after him, but her heels prevented her from moving fast, so she removed them and ran after him as fast as she could, not caring that the stone floor was as cold as ice in the Scottish Winter. "Remus! Remus, wait," she panted, catching up to him and pulling him to a stop. "Remus, he's not worth it."

"But I don't understand. I don't understand how I could have been so mistaken!" Remus said bitterly.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. This is all my fault," she said, wringing her hands.

"It's no one's fault but my own. He never said he likes me… he only said he cared about me. But I thought… I thought…" and Remus couldn't continue, he looked up at the ceiling in anguish.

"Oh, this is absolute pants! Just- just forget about him!"

"How? He lives with me..." he mumbled. Lily looked utterly dejected.

Remus rubbed his face and took a deep breath. "You're right. You're right. Let's go. I have to tell you what happened. A death eater was at the party, pretending to be someone else…" And he told her everything that James told him. "Thank Godric, James was there," he said, as they walked to the Hospital Wing.

"Yeah!"

Then he realised she was barefoot. "Oh, Lily, you'll catch a cold! We can slow down, put your shoes back on," he told her, but she shook her head.

"I couldn't have climbed up all those staircases in these heels," she said, showing him their length.

Remus gasped. "How the hell were you even walking in those?" he asked, and she laughed.

They entered the Hospital Wing and Lily put her shoes back on and ran towards Dorcas' bed. "How is she?" she asked Madam Pomfrey. She answered with the same thing she had told Remus earlier. Lily sighed as she brushed Dorcas' forehead. James watched her silently as she proceeded to undo Dorcas' braid and brushed her hair out with her fingers, and put all the bobby pins on the table beside her bed.

Remus removed her sandals. Some of her toes were scraped, and they assumed she must have tripped while duelling the guy. He showed it to Madam Pomfrey and she gave Remus a cotton ball with some _Essence of_ _Dittany_ in it. He dabbed the toes with it and the scrapes healed instantaneously.

Then Madam Pomfrey came back and ran some more charms over Dorcas' body, trying to find out her state. The three of them sat silently, watching her, and they heard the double doors open again. Thinking it might be Dumbledore with answers, they all stood up and faced him eagerly.

It wasn't Dumbledore. It was Sirius. He stopped abruptly and stared at them, looking distraught.

"Sirius, where were you?" James demanded.

"What are you doing here, Black?" asked Lily.

"I'm... I'm here to see Dorcas," he replied nervously.

"Oh, really? Can you be _any_ _more_ shameless?" she said, her voice rising in volume.

He didn't respond, just looked glumly back at her.

James looked between them in confusion. "What happened?" he asked.

"Oh, shut up! You're like two peas in a pod! Never giving a shit about anyone else's feelings but your own!" she said loudly.

Then Dumbledore was back, and he and Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey walked back to them. "Did you see what jinx he hit her with?" asked Madam Pomfrey.

"I didn't hear the incantation. I only saw a pink jet, like water from a hosepipe," James described, for what he thought was the dozenth time.

Dumbledore nodded and walked to a group of people Remus assumed were from the Ministry.

"Is she going to be alright?" asked Remus worriedly.

"When I know what kind of jinx it is, I will be able to treat her," she replied kindly.

Lily was beginning to look at Sirius angrily again, and Minerva quickly told Lily and Remus to shut the party down. Lily was seething as she grabbed Remus' hand and stormed out of there. Thankfully, the other two didn't follow.

Sirius and James watched them leave and listened as the sound of Lily's high heels faded away.

Not for the first time, actually it was probably the millionth time over the years, James asked Sirius the question. "What the fuck did you do this time, Sirius?" He sounded so exasperated that Sirius couldn't even think of answering. He just vaguely held up his hand.  
James sighed. "Let's just go to bed," he said, and the two boys trooped back to the dorm.

Sirius lay in bed, feeling terrible. _What happened? How the hell did this happen?_  
He tried to recollect everything, but for some reason, there was a memory blank. He tried to remember if he drank some unknown alcohol, but he hadn't. He'd had only one glass of wine. Then why couldn't he remember anything properly? There was no chance someone could have slipped something into his drink either, because he'd poured his drink himself. _And why would Amanda do something like that anyway? She's not dishonest like that._  
He just assumed he was one of those people who'd get drunk and snog the person standing right in front of them. And the thought made him feel disgusted with himself. _Godric, I am so cheap._  
Then he wondered if he was beginning to have lapses in memory like Aunt Lucretia's husband Ignatius. _Or am I finally going insane like every other Black?_  
If this was the beginning, he shuddered to think of what would be coming next. All the stress and exhaustion eventually caught up to him, and he fell into a disturbed sleep, filled with dreams of being locked up in a madhouse.

Lily and Remus looked around Slughorn's empty office. There was a lot of food and drink still left over. They dropped into chairs. Remus sighed and picked up a bottle of mead.

"Good choice," said Lily, kicking her heels off. Remus laughed and took a long sip of mead and passed it to her.

"All these little bitches think they can control my life? So what if he kissed some girl? I couldn't care less! Why should I bother? I'm just gonna live my life, Lily!" Remus drawled drunkenly.

"Is that why you're drunk right now?" she asked and they both fell about laughing.

"James Potter and Sirius Black. The bane of our existence!" said Remus, holding up the bottle like he was giving a toast.

"Gimme that, Lupin," she said, grabbing the bottle and taking another sip.

"I just want you to know, that I really appreciate you, Lily. Everything you've done for me. You're a really good friend, you know," Remus told her.

"Oh! Remus!" said Lily, tearing up a little. She hugged him. But Remus didn't hug her back, he just reached for the mead in her hand, and took a sip. She hit him on the head and straightened up. Remus snorted.

Then, she looked around and spotted a plate of spring rolls, and grabbed it.

"Excellent! I love spring rolls," said Remus, putting five of them in his mouth.

"How many can you fit in your mouth, though?" she asked curiously.

Remus chewed slowly and then swallowed. "Why don't you try?" he told her.

"Eh," she uttered, and he gave her a huge handful of spring rolls. She fit one, two, three, four, five, six, tried for the seventh one but it wouldn't go in. Remus was giggling non-stop as he looked at her with six spring rolls sticking out of her mouth. Even she felt laughter bubbling up inside her, she tried not to laugh but in the end, she spit them all out and they were cackling loudly.

"What is going on here? Ms. Evans?!" they heard a voice say.

They looked towards the stairs, Slughorn was standing there in his pyjamas. He even had a cap on.

"Professor Slughorn! Did we wake up?" she asked, still giggling.

"Ms. Evans, are you drunk?!"

"Just a little bit, Sir," she said, smiling at him.

Slughorn smiled indulgently at her. He liked her, she was one of his favourite students. He would let this slide. "Well, off to bed now, you two! It's very late," he said shooing them out.

They grabbed some more spring rolls and the bottle of mead and ran out of there, still laughing their heads off. They didn't even know what was so funny anymore.

"Let's go for a swim!" Lily said dramatically, and started running.

"What!" Remus exclaimed. Then he realised she meant the Prefects' bathroom and not the Black lake, and hurried after her.

They reached the pool and Lily stood near the taps for nearly five minutes, deciding. Then, she opened one of the taps through which she knew, flowed clear, warm water, lightly scented with tuberose. They inhaled deeply.

"Let's get in!" she said excitedly and was about to jump in fully clothed.

"Lily, no!" yelled Remus, and she stopped, with a questioning look on her face.

"Oh!" she realised and started stripping.

Remus was so drunk, he completely forgot about his scars and took his clothes off. Now they both stood in their undergarments at the edge of the pool.

"Okay, three, two-" Lily stopped abruptly, looking at him with her eyes wide. "Holy Mary, Mother of God."

He looked down and suddenly realised, and tried to cover himself up. But it was too late. She had seen his scars.

"Remus, it's okay. I know you're a werewolf, remember," she said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

He relaxed a bit and put his shirt down. "It's okay, even I stare sometimes," he said. Then he smiled at her and jumped into the pool. She followed him. It was the best feeling, the warm water soothed him as he floated around in the pool.

Lily took a sip of the mead again.

"How did you know Nyctimus is a werewolf?" he asked her.

"I overheard you two talking about being human or not... or it was something like that," she said, and he nodded.

"How did you know I already knew?" she asked.

"Your hand was trembling when you went to shake his," he said, smiling.

"Oh... yeah," she said, and smiled awkwardly. "He's a werewolf who worships Artemis, the goddess of the moon."

Remus nodded. "I liked meeting him, it's really given me perspective."

"Wait a second, that's why the Marauders call you Moony!" she squealed, suddenly realising, and Remus chuckled.

"Yes," he said. They grinned at each other.

"So what do the other names mean? Prongs…" she asked.

"Oh...those are just random…"

After a few minutes, Lily broke the silence again. "So, Remus…"

"Yeah?"

"Um, don't be mad at me... I know I've asked you a hundred times before, but the fight you and Black had at the start of the year-"

"Yeah, it was related to this. But listen Lily, you can't ever tell anyone. And please don't ask Severus about this either."

" _Severus_? What does Severus have to do with this?! Oh, I just knew he was directly involved!" she exclaimed. "The way he was talking to me today just-"

"What do you mean the way he was talking?" asked Remus worriedly. "Why were you discussing this with him?!"

"Remus it's okay-"

"Is that whom you were saying you had a disagreement with, earlier?! Severus?!" he asked.

"Yes."

"What exactly did you talk about?" he asked her worriedly.

Lily hesitated a little. Then she said, "First tell me how exactly he's involved."

"Why didn't he tell you himself?" he asked.

"He said he wasn't allowed to tell anyone what had happened," she said.

"Oh," said Remus. Severus was a man of his word after all. "Okay, so you remember how he had taken to following us around last year?"

"Yeah, he was nearly stalking us. It was weird. He still denies it."

"Well, he followed me this year too…" And Remus told her everything that had happened that September. How Severus had found out, how James saved his life, and the Whomping Willow hitting his head.

Lily remained silent for a long time. He let her process the information. "I didn't think it was possible to hate Sirius Black more than I already do, but apparently it is." Remus smiled sadly.

"Before I can be happy that he's accepted you, he goes and does things like this! Oh, he's such a dog, Remus!"

Remus chuckled at the unintentional pun. "I don't think he meant to do that one, Lily."

"You mean, he didn't mean to accidentally _kill_ Severus?!"

"No, he didn't mean to. I… I think he was mad at me."

"Mad at you?! Whatever the hell for?"

"Okay, so you know the fight Sirius and I had last year?"

"Oh, you two fight so much. Yeah, what about it?"

He proceeded to tell her everything that had transpired then.

"But what does that have to do with this?"

"James told me that he'd been in a really bad mood the whole day, after he'd spoken to McGonagall."

"Oooh. So you think she must've mentioned the letter or something like that?"

"Yes, and he must've guessed that I told her everything."

"That's still not a very good reason to do that to you."

"You don't know about the letters. They're really awful. If the letters are so terrible, just imagine his home conditions... I'm sure he's abused at home. He just never tells us. He must've remembered all that and then gotten angry at me. He definitely wasn't in his right mind when he did that."

Lily stared at him, trying to make herself see sense. "This is all really complicated, Remus."

"Tell me about it."

"But what about tonight? I hate him for what he did tonight."

Remus sighed and took a large sip of mead. "But what did he do though, Lily? I mean, he's never told me he liked me. _I'm_ the one who likes _him_. He merely kissed a girl he likes. That's all."

"Yeah, right! Keep telling yourself that, Remus."

"I have to, Lily. Because I can't afford to wallow in self-pity again."

Lily bit her lower lip as she nodded. "Yeah... Yeah."

"You know what I never realised?" said Remus.

"What?"

"How pathetic I am."

"Oh Remus, I hate it when you undervalue yourself like that," she said a little vexedly, and he smiled.

"That's exactly what James always says too," he said, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"You know what, you are pathetic. Your standards are so low, they are practically underground. To think you _still_ like Black after everything he's done."

Remus splashed water on her face, and a splash-war ensued.

James woke up at around 3 am to the sound of incessant giggling and some wonderful heady perfume. He peered from his curtains and saw Remus and Lily walk in, supporting each other. They appeared really drunk. He watched in surprise as they fell on Remus' bed.

"Ow, Remus! There's something under my bum!" said Lily, she wasn't bothering to be quiet.

"Shhhh! Lily, be quiet! James is a very light sleeper!" Remus replied, but he wasn't being quiet either. James laughed to himself.

"James is a-Wait a second, why am I… why am I in your dorm?"

"I don't know. I think it was because … yours is in the top floor and ours is on the first... ugh I forgot.

"Remus, I have no energy to pick myself off your comfortable bed and climb all those stairs."

"Just sleep then."

"Remus, you are so warm."

"Lily, I said sleep. Shut your eyes."

James lay back down onto his pillow, smiling to himself.

"Oh, by the way, I'm glad you told Charlotte Briggs and her gang about my girlfriend back in the village, thanks," he heard Remus mumble.

Lily chuckled lazily. "You're welcome."

James blinked in the darkness. _Wait, what? Remus has a girlfriend?! What the fuck is going on?!_

* * *

 **Author's note: Thank you LapisLazuliRose, for your review!**


	37. Frozen Soap

James walked out of the shower in his red Gryffindor towel, his hair wet and dripping on the carpet. "I'm done," he announced. "But um, something's wrong with the soaps."

"What do you mean?" asked Peter.

"The soap wont lather, it won't do anything," he explained.

"What, is it like… frozen?" asked Peter, making an awkward face.

"Don't be dim, Peter. Ever heard of a soap freezing?" said Sirius.

"So, what did you do?" Peter asked James.

"I had to use shampoo on my body, no big deal," he replied, shrugging.

"That is atrocious, James, why would you do that? You should have borrowed my shower gel!" said Sirius.

James laughed at him. "I don't really care," he replied.

Sirius shook his head exasperatedly and stood up, about to go for his shower, when Peter said, "What's that?"

"What?" the others asked.

Peter bent down and picked up a sleek black shoe, a ladies' shoe with a seven-inch heel. "Whose is this?" he asked them, and they all stared at Remus' closed curtains. Peter's face broke out slowly into a grin, but no one else was impressed.

"That's Evans' shoe," said Sirius. Peter's smile turned into a grimace.

"No, wait, wait," said James, remembering what happened. "I mean yes, that is Evans' shoe," he whispered and the other two wore identical horrified expressions.

"Chill, they didn't shag. They came back really really drunk last night, and just fell asleep."

Sirius' face relaxed. "Oh," he said.

"How do you know they didn't shag?" asked Peter. "I mean they could've used a _Muffliato_? Or they could've shagged wherever they were, and just came back here to sleep?"

Sirius's face looked horrified again.

"Just don't, Wormtail. That's not true, okay. We are _not_ going down that horrid path again. Let's just wake them up," said James.

And they all stood there, no one wanting to be the first one to wake them up. In the end, James sighed, and called, "Moony? Remus. Wake up, we are going down for breakfast in a while."

They heard a snort. Sirius and Peter grinned at each other. A groan, like someone was stretching. A female someone. James quickly put his clothes on.

"Ow, Remus, you're lying on my hair!"

"Oh sorry-" then Remus was laughing.

"What?" Lily's annoyed voice.

"Look at your hair!" Remus said and laughed some more.

James sat on his bed and waited for them to come out. Sirius hid behind the curtains of his own, mortified to show his face.

"My dress. It's so crumpled," she whined.

"Oh. So, it wasn't all a dream then," said Remus gloomily.

Sirius felt awful. _Just kill me already._

"You're lucky it isn't a big sopping mess," Remus added.

"Huh?"

"Don't you remember? You were gonna jump into the pool, fully clothed," he said and laughed. "You're such an idiot."

Lily gasped. "You're a prat," she said.

"Twit."

"Knob."

James and Peter laughed silently. Lily poked her head out and pushed the curtains aside, ignoring James completely.

"Morning, Evans. Big night?" James couldn't resist asking. His hand automatically went to his hair and he ruffled it. "Sounded fun."

Lily huffed. "Two words, Potter. Purple balloons," she said, and he shut up immediately. She stood up and put her heels on, and James viewed it in slow-motion. Lily Evans standing on the tips of her dainty toes, bending one leg and putting a shoe on, then on the other one. It was all very graceful and somehow a little erotic, and it was the most glorious thing he'd ever witnessed.

"See you later," she said to Remus, and was just about to walk out, but she stopped abruptly. "What the devil is that?!" she asked, pointing to Peter's bedside table.

"Er," said Peter.

"Why do you have a _sickle_ in your room?" she asked.

"You mean a coin?" asked James lamely.

She picked the curved blade up with two fingers and showed it to the others, demanding an explanation. No one answered. She raised an eyebrow at Peter.

"It was for a Halloween prank…" he mumbled.

"Gah, Wormy!" said James.

"What is Wormy? Some kind of code word?" she asked Remus.

He chuckled. "Well, sort of. It's our nickname for Peter," he replied.

"Remus, I'm disappointed in you! Why is this still here?" she asked.

"No, no. I er… didn't let them use it for that prank," he said.

"Yeah, he didn't," said Peter.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever! I'm confiscating this weapon! It's dangerous," she said, and walked out of the room with it.

"Spoilsport," Peter muttered and James smacked him on the head.

"Ow."

Remus followed her out of the dorm and stood on the landing. "Walk of shame, Lily Evans!" they heard him say laughingly.

"True. And I didn't even _do_ the shameful deed for which I'm being shamed," she said and they both laughed. Sirius opened up his curtains again, grinning at James.

"I know you have potential, though," said Remus.

"What do you mean?!" she exclaimed.

"I remember what you did with those spring rolls," he said.

"So?" There was a silence. "Oh, eww Remus! You have a dirty mind! You do know what I'm holding, right?" she said, and he laughed.

"Sure, Lily, and if you didn't have one too, you'd have never guessed correctly," he replied.

"Walking away. Now," she said, and they heard her laugh as the sound of her heels faded away.

"Where have you been?" demanded Alice as soon as Lily walked into their dorm room.

"Yeah, we were so worried," said Marlene, with her hands on her hips.

"We thought you'd been kidnapped by some death eater or something," said Mary. "Pratap said they'd shut down the party, but you never returned…"

"And why on Earth do you have a sickle?!" exclaimed Alice.

"I'm so sorry, girls," said Lily, smiling sheepishly. "Something happened, and Remus wasn't alright."

"Was he injured too?" asked Marlene. "Don't tell me it was because of this sickle?!"

"No, he's fine. I mean he's not injured," she said. "I can't tell you."

"Yeah, fine. But you were with him this whole time?" asked Mary.

"Yeah, er… I was in their dorm," she said, smirking. The girls exclaimed.

"You were in the Marauders' dorm?! What does it look like?" asked Mary avidly.

"Nothing remarkable. Except that Potter and Black's side of the room was oddly clean and the other side was messy. Really messy," said Lily.

"Huh," said Marlene. "You would normally assume the opposite."

Lily nodded at her. "That's where I confiscated this from," she said, carefully placing the sickle on the writing desk at the window.

Marlene laughed. "Should've guessed!"

"So, you slept in Lupin's bed?" asked Mary.

"Obviously," said Marlene.

"And… nothing happened?" asked Mary.

"Of course not, Mary! I've already told you, he's like a brother to me!"

"Yeah, alright, just checking," said Mary and the others chuckled.

Then Lily took out a clear-looking nail polish out of her purse and showed it to the others, chuckling.

"Your base coat? What did you do?" they asked.

"After Remus fell asleep, I went into their bathroom and painted all of their soaps with it!" she said.

"What!" said Marlene, and the girls all guffawed.

"I think I heard Potter tell the others that the soap won't lather," she said weakly and they all laughed again. "And Pettigrew was wondering if the soap _froze_ …!"

"That's so good!" said Mary, her eyes were watering.

"So simple, yet so effective," said Alice.

"The pranksters were pranked!" yelled Marlene triumphantly.

Remus came back into the dorm, still chuckling. "Morning, James. Sirius," he said, smiling at them.

"Morning…" said Sirius.

"You're in a chipper mood, Moony," said James.

"I met a werewolf at the party."

"Did you?" asked James.

Remus told him all about Nyctimus, the Greek pianist. "And he calls us Lycans, which is way cooler than the word _werewolf_."

"See, I told you life isn't going to be that bad," he said, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah Mr. Optimist, you were right," said Remus, grinning back. James chuckled. "But more importantly, we got drunk last night," he continued. "In Slughorn's office, would you believe? Slughorn looks more rotund in pyjamas."

They chuckled.

"Well, his work robes are usually black, and as you know, black is slimming," said Sirius.

"It is, it is," said Remus, nodding.

"Well, I'm off for a shower," said Peter, gathering up his towel and clothes.

"No, Pete, I was going to go!" said Sirius loudly and tried to pull Peter back. And when that didn't work, he tried to push him out of the way, and they both tried to get into the bathroom, struggling at the doorway.

"You always do this!" said Peter, grunting.

"You always want to go when it's my turn!"

"You two know there are two cubicles, right?" said James. "One for each of you."

"Don't be ridiculous, Prongs, no one's using that second one, the shower's never warm enough," said Peter. That shower malfunctioned ever since a stray charm had hit it, way back in their third year. Peter gave Sirius a particularly strong push and slipped into the bathroom. Then he ran all the way to the cubicle, giggling.

"Oh, whatever," said Sirius, and turned around. He and Remus looked at each other for a moment and looked away again. The mood was similarly awkward throughout the morning and through lunch too. As long as the banter was flowing, it was alright. But the silence was unbearable. It screamed of betrayal and confusion. But also of friendship.

At dinner, James randomly decided he wanted to sit beside Peter. Remus reluctantly took his seat beside Sirius, careful not to touch any part of him. But halfway through, some of James' teammates came and squeezed in next to them to discuss training schedules, and Remus and Sirius were pushed together.

Remus tried to ignore it and continued to eat his dinner.

After finalising the trainings for the next week, Branimir Hristov, one of the beaters, stood up to leave. Then he suddenly clapped on Sirius' shoulder and said, "So Black, you and Wallace, huh? Excellent, excellent!"

Everyone laughed, and Sirius gave them a fake grin so they would leave. After they left, Remus slowly moved away from him.

"Wallace?" asked James blankly.

Sirius didn't respond. He thought he could hear a strange ringing in his ear.

"Padfoot, I'm talking to you. What was that about Wallace? Did he mean Amanda Wallace?"

"Amanda?" Peter asked. "You and Amanda hit it off last night, then?".

James was furious, and both Sirius and Remus wouldn't lift their eyes off their plates. "It was a mistake. I think I was too drunk. I don't know how it happened," Sirius finally mumbled.

James looked at Remus, but Remus' face revealed nothing. James didn't push it, but when they went back to their table in the Common room, he asked Sirius to help him look for his Defence essay, and Sirius followed him up to the dorm.

"What the hell happened at the party, Sirius? You are going to tell me everything," James asked, slamming the dorm door shut.

"It was a complete _dog's dinner_. I honestly don't know what happened, I-"

"You said at dinner that you were drunk. How drunk were you, exactly? You were supposed to be helping Dorcas! You weren't supposed to get drunk at all!"

"I know, I know! I didn't even drink that much. I don't understand it!"

"Did you drink firewhiskey again? You know it doesn't suit you."

"No! Only wine."

"Fine, only wine. Then what happened?"

"I don't know what happened, James. Or how it happened. But I... at one point I was snogging Amanda."

There was a silence, as James scratched his neck. "Do you mean she forced herself on you?"

"No. I was kissing her too."

"You're joking, right? What the bloody hell do you mean by that? You don't even like girls!" Sirius looked miserable. "Or do you like girls now?" James asked.

"I don't."

"Are you sure? You snogged a girl, a person of the _female sex_ ," said James, shoving him. Sirius didn't even resist, he didn't even move away. James put his hands on his hips and took some deep breaths. He looked down at his feet as he spoke again. "What's the matter with you, mate? Why do you want to throw away the best thing that ever happened to you?"

"I don't _want_ to throw it away! I don't know-"

"Yes, you said that a hundred times already. _You don't know what happened._ Does Moony know?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Maybe that's why they decided to get wasted."

"Evans is such a good friend-"

"Just shut _up,_ Sirius."

"These girls will be the death of me."

"There's another girl you need to know about," said James slowly.

"Oh no, who is it? My mother?" asked Sirius, laughing like an idiot. "Don't tell me she already knows I snogged a mu- a muggleborn."

"What? No," said James, frowning. "Were you just about to say the m-word?!"

"No!" said Sirius hurriedly.

"Don't lie."

"My family uses the word often-"

"That's no excuse!"

"I was only using it in relation to my mother, I would never use it on my own!"

James frowned again. "So you're not allowed to date muggleborns?"

"Are you kidding me, James?" asked Sirius incredulously. "No! You know enough about my family to know the answer to that question."

"But it's your choice!"

Sirius just laughed humourlessly at that.

From this conversation, James gathered that Sirius' family probably had people spying on him. "Anyway," he said. "You know, last night, when Moony and Evans came back to the dorm completely sloshed, I overheard them talking. Remus mentioned something about a... _girlfriend_ back in the village," he said, anxiously awaiting Sirius' reaction.

"Girlfriend?" asked Sirius blankly.

"Yeah, he was thanking Evans for something, I can't remember what," replied James, still anxious.

"Moony has a girlfriend?" asked Sirius again, his eyes wide. "But why did he hide it?!"

"What are you angry at me for? I'm just telling you what I overheard! And I'm not even sure," James said.

"Huh. Just because I don't have any friends back home, I think no one has. I still wish he'd told us though. What's there to be ashamed of, I wonder," said Sirius, sounding oddly casual. His brain was sluggish again, he felt like he needed to dig up his emotions from the ground again. _He has a girlfriend. That's why he didn't ask Dorcas out. But then why did_ he... _  
_Sirius sat down on James' bed. _Oh_ , _what a fool I was._ _How am I supposed to act now? Should I be angry? But he never said anything. Am I supposed to be the good friend and support his relationship and be happy for him?  
_ His mind didn't seem to be able to tell him how to react to the news. The sound of thunder outside felt soothing, and Sirius closed his eyes.

"Padfoot…"

Sirius scoffed. "Well, I'm glad I didn't do anything, that would've been awkward," said Sirius, without opening his eyes.

"I still think he fancies you," James told him.

"Yeah, well I'm not a home wrecker."

"They're not a married couple! He spends more time with you than with her."

"All the more reason to be just friends."

"You're not particularly good at that."

"At what?"

"Being just-friends with Remus Lupin."

Sirius sighed and opened his eyes.

"We'll ask him before he leaves." James told him.

"What! He's going home for the holidays?!"

"We all are. You're coming to mine, its decided."

"Yeah, he probably wants to catch up with his girlfriend... Are you sure I can come to yours?"

"Yes, Sirius. It'll be fun."

"Okay then."

The last two days of term had the common room abuzz with excited conversations about presents, parties and plans for trips. The Marauders were chilling in the Common room, enjoying the festive atmosphere.

"What are your plans, Peter? Any chance you'll come to my house for New Year's at least? There's going to be a big party at the Estate, you know," James asked him.

"Think Wormy. All that extravagant food and drink... mmm…" said Sirius, rubbing his belly. Remus and James chuckled.

"I'll try," Peter told them, grinning. "We're supposed to be going to Ireland, to visit my mum's cousins. The estranged Nortons," he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Should be interesting. Don't forget to write to us and tell us all about the family drama," said Remus, grinning.

"Sure, Moony. You write to us too, and tell us about your escapades," Peter told him, wiggling his eyebrows.

Remus made a funny face. "What escapades? My house is getting renovated, and I have no idea why my mum decided to hire _muggle_ interior designer. It's is going to be super-boring and tedious. And then mum's signed me up to volunteer at a Muggle old-age home," Remus told them.

"Oh, you know what I meant. Your _Luuuurve_ -escapades," said Peter. Remus was confused now, he looked at the other two, they awkwardly half-smiled, pursing their lips identically.

" _What?_ " he asked them.

"We know about your girlfriend, Moony," Peter told him.

"I have a girlfriend now?" asked Remus.

"The girlfriend who lives in your village," James added.

Remus exhaled slowly and pressed the bridge of his nose. Then he blinked at all of them from under his hand. "Congratulations, lads, you take the biscuit this time. _That_ was a false trail that Lily laid for Charlotte Briggs and her friends at Slughorn's party, so they wouldn't try and eat me," he told them, with an extremely exasperated expression.

The Marauders looked extremely sheepish, and he burst out laughing at their expressions. Just then, Lily arrived, and she looked delighted to see him laughing. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Oh, Lily!" he said, leaning on her shoulder to support himself. "Remember the fib you told Briggs and her friends? These idiots thought it was true!" he said, and she started laughing too. It took almost ten minutes for the two of them to sober up. The Marauders tried to keep their poker faces up, but failed miserably. It was so silly.

"Big plans for Christmas, Evans?" James asked her.

"Yes, but nothing I'll be telling you about," she answered coolly. "Oh, by the way, since I took your shift last time, it's your turn tonight," she told Remus and he nodded.

"Wait, you have rounds?" asked Sirius, in dismay.

"Come on, Moony!" whined James.

"Evans, you did this on purpose!" Peter accused her, and she nodded.

"I did, actually. And Remus agreed," she told them bossily.

Remus just smiled. "Who am I with?" he asked her.

"Head boy," she replied.

"Oh, fuck Diggory!" said Sirius, angrily.

"I'd rather fuck-" Remus stopped himself in time. "...not… I'd rather not," he finished.

Lily looked up at him with the most evil smirk on her face, like she knew exactly what he'd been about to say. "What's your problem with Diggory, Black?" she asked, cleverly covering for him.

Remus sighed in relief. The boys had noticed nothing.

"He thinks I'm a blood purist! He basically accused me of being a Death eater!" he said indignantly.

"What!" Lily and Remus exclaimed at the same time.

"It's true, you can ask Jones if you want!" he said.

"When did he say that?!" asked Remus angrily.

"That day when you... got that fever," replied Sirius, and he knew Remus was also remembering that moment in the tunnel.

"That is not on, he knows you helped Dorcas catch an actual death eater!" said Remus after a few moments, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Well, this was before the party, right? … but I still hate him!" said Sirius, folding his hands.

"An unlicked cub, if there ever was one," said Remus, making Sirius chortle.

"Also, he hates me because I was Dorcas' date to the party," Sirius added, shrugging.

Lily laughed. "Oh yeah, he always manages to make things awkward when she's around, it's _so_ cringe," she exclaimed, and James blushed at her unintentional implication.

"Okay, I guess I have to go now, I'll be back at midnight," said Remus and turned around to leave.

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Remus," said Lily and awkwardly slid away.

"Wait, you don't hate us, do you?" asked Sirius hurriedly moving closer to Remus.

"What? Why would I hate you guys?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"For assuming you had a secret girlfriend," said James.

"Oh... well, look," Remus began, removing Sirius' hand from his elbow. "That one time, you thought I was dating Lily, and now, this. I do wish you guys would trust me. But I can understand, I've kept a lot of secrets over the years," he said, nodding at them.

"Are there any other secrets you're keeping from us?" asked James.

"Even if I was, I wouldn't be likely to tell you now, would I?" he replied, grinning.


	38. Mistletoe

**Author's note: If I hurt anyone's religious feelings through the things I've written in this chapter, I do apologise. But, you don't really have to agree with my religious views to enjoy a story, though, right?  
Also, i** **s it even a Hogwarts love story if mistletoe isn't involved? Hehe, this one comes with a twist ;)**

* * *

"So... you don't hate us. Right?" asked Sirius again, and Remus understood the real meaning behind the question.  
 _Do you hate me for kissing Amanda?_

What could Remus say? _No Sirius, I don't hate you. All you did was_ break my heart!  
He sighed. "No, Sirius, far from it," he said.

"You're incredible," Sirius told him.

"Took you long enough to figure it out," replied Remus, smirking.

Sirius looked up at Remus' face, feeling incredibly guilty. That wasn't true, Sirius had always thought Remus was incredible. _But then if I think he's so incredible, why do I keep doing things to him? Why do I keep hurting him like this? What's wrong with me?_  
Sirius felt like the worst person on the planet for the way he had acted. On one hand, he wanted to crawl up in a hole, proclaiming that he didn't deserve Remus, and live away his life in that hole like a coward. And on the other hand, he wanted to make it up to him. Because he _loved_ Remus, and he didn't think he couldn't live anywhere without him. But was it corrigible, though, everything he had done? Had he taken things to the point of no return?

James and Peter laughed at Remus' comeback.

"Okay, I really have to go now, I'm already late," said Remus, walking towards the Portrait hole.

"I'll come with you until the Charms corridor. I want to go to the kitchens," said Peter, shoving the Invisibility cloak in his robes and hurrying after him. "I need a snack."

"James, I love him _so_ much," said Sirius, as they watched Remus and Peter walk away to the Portrait Hole, Peter jogging to keep up with Remus' long legs.

"Then _do something_ already," James told him.

"You made me think he had a girlfriend! I'll _do something_ to you!" he said and lunged at James. James shrieked and ran towards the staircase. People around them laughed. Sirius caught up to him and an intense wrestling match commenced.

Lily watched them from a far corner, shaking her head.

"Aren't you gonna stop them?" Mary asked her.

"It's almost Christmas, I'd rather not be spending my time yelling at imbeciles," she said, shrugging. The girls looked at each other in surprise.

Dorcas woke up the next day, and was happily munching on some liquorice wands when the Marauders went to visit her. Lily, Jones and a few other Prefects were standing beside her bed. Much to Sirius' delight, neither Amos Diggory nor Corban Yaxley were present. The other Prefects had gotten her many sweets and chocolates, and she smiled broadly at the Marauders as they added their own gifts to the pile.

"Glad to see you awake. And eating," said Remus, sitting down on the bed and hugging her.

"Glad to be awake and eating," she said.

"Glad Amos Diggory isn't here," said Sirius, and all the others looked at him in unison. "Something I said? Oh no, what happened?"

"He was injured last night, he was here," said Dorcas. "Before he got transferred to St. Mungo's a few hours ago."

"St. Mungo's? What happened to him?" asked Peter.

"Didn't you tell them?" Dorcas asked Remus.

"No, they were asleep by the time I got back to the dorm," said Remus.

"We were not," said James and Sirius at the same time.

"I think I was," said Peter.

"We heard you come in," said Sirius.

"Well, the lights were off, so I just assumed-"

Lily rolled her eyes. "What happened to Diggory, though?" she asked.

"So, what Dorcas had told us was to keep an eye on the Dungeons," Remus began.

"Because my spies tell me that some of the Slytherin kids might be getting out of school somehow. I don't know for what reason, but it's still not safe for anyone to let them continue. I think they may have found a secret passageway out of school," said Dorcas.

"A passageway? But-" James began.

"It's a passageway we don't know about, James," said Remus. "Because Diggory and I set up booby traps in all the entrances to the passages we know, and none of them were triggered."

"A passageway in the dungeons? Hmm," said James, scratching his chin, and Remus nodded.

"Yes. I'm assuming it starts somewhere in the dungeons, because that's where I found Diggory unconscious," said Remus.

"What!" Everyone yelped.

"I know," said Remus, looking around at everyone. "I tried to revive him, but it must have been dark magic, because his blood vessels were kind of visible and protruding out," he described, grimacing. "Nothing I did worked, so I had to levitate him to the Hospital Wing!"

"I remember that, I was awake when you brought him in," said Dorcas.

"Were you?" asked Remus nervously. He'd used all his werewolf strength to run as fast as he could up to the Hospital wing. If she'd seen him come in, she definitely must've thought it odd.

"Oh Merlin! And you were there alone too," said Lily.

Peter shuddered. "Marlene said never go alone," he mumbled.

"Whoever had cursed him was long gone. But I didn't have time to search, I needed to help Diggory."

"What if whoever had cursed him, had been nearby, hiding?" asked Jones.

"I don't think so, otherwise they probably would have cursed me too," Remus replied.

"Moony! You need to be careful! Things are getting more and more serious now," James told him.

Remus nodded. "I know."

"What did you do after that?" asked Anthony Jordan.

"Madam Pomfrey summoned Dumbledore and I told him everything. Then I went back down to check all the traps, that's when I found them all untriggered."

" _You went back down alone?_ " asked Sirius.

"I think whoever cursed Diggory was trying to protect the passageway from discovery. So the danger would only be in _The C_ _rypts,_ " said Remus, smiling. Sirius and Jones chuckled.

"I wonder why they're called the dungeons, though. It's not like there are actual jail cells down there," said Peter thoughtfully.

"Maybe there used to be and Dumbledore got rid of them," said Jones.

"Or blocked them," said Anthony Jordan, and everyone agreed with him. James and Remus exchanged looks.

"Oh, by the way, James, I wanted to thank you for saving my life," Dorcas said, looking up at him.

"I got your back, Dorcas," he said, grinning. "So am I part of your crew now?"

"Hell yeah! You were, from the moment you offered to help me last week," she said.

"Excellent!"

"And Sirius. You did such a good job picking him out in the crowd. I would never have noticed him without your help," she said, and Sirius beamed.

"Then why didn't you go with her when she went to follow him?" asked James, frowning.

"She didn't tell me she was going!" Sirius said.

"That's true. We need to plan better next time. I didn't even expect a duel," she said, nodding.

"Yeah, I think we need to be prepared for all kinds of situations," said Jones.

"We need to have a proper meeting," said Dorcas.

"As soon as you're out of here, Dorcas," said Remus and Lily at the same time, and everyone chuckled.

After the visit, the Marauders made their way to their last Charms class before the holidays.

"James, I was wondering if I could borrow your cloak for my rounds next time? Unless you expressly need it, of course," Remus asked.

"Of course, nothing's more important than a Marauder's safety," said James, and they all grinned.

"We combed the entire dungeons area, there weren't any passageways there," said James.

"We must have missed something," said Remus.

"Well, we know what our next operation is," said James, grinning.

"Find the passageway," said Peter, his eyes gleaming.

"If Dumbledore hasn't already found it over the Christmas holidays," Remus added, and they sighed.

"Must you always be a spoilsport, Moony?" James asked him, sniggering.

"Even if we do find that passageway, I reckon we have to show it to the teachers, and they'll probably want to shut it down," Remus said, grimacing again.

"Whaaat… why can't we just booby trap it?" asked Peter.

"Don't be daft, Pete. Booby traps are not death eater proof," said James.

"Oh, yeah."

"Who are these spies Dorcas keeps talking about?" asked Peter.

"Well, Dorcas believes only three of the Slytherin Prefects are loyal to Dumbledore, so they might be. The other three are not. So they're not included in anything Dorcas-related. Maybe Altham and Gladstone?" Remus said.

"Haha, 'Dorcas-related'," said Sirius.

"I know. She's like the centre of the resistance," said James.

"I also think she has other spies, but she keeps them to herself," Remus told them. "She never mentions names."

Remus gave Sirius a look, and Sirius looked at him curiously.

 _Is Regulus one of the spies? Hah, no way._ "She probably never mentions their names because if, by any chance, their names got out, they're as good as dead," he told them.

"Right," said Remus.

As they walked into Charms, James spotted a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the doorway. His first thought was how amazing it would be if he could get Lily to stand under it with him. _Then she would be forced to kiss me, how wonderful!  
_ But then he realised it was a completely cheap, underhanded trick and an obvious recipe for disaster. He immediately decided against it. Then he got another idea. _If I could somehow get Remus and Sirius under it…  
_ He waited until the class started, and then nudged Sirius and motioned to him to look at the doorway.

Sirius spotted the mistletoe and grinned, and they secretly made a plan to get Remus to stand there.

"We'll stand at the doorway and wait for you, after you're done asking Flitwick the question, you walk up to us," James whispered to Sirius and he nodded. "When you both are under it, I'll say, 'hey, look, it's mistletoe, now you have to kiss'. And then you have to kiss."

Sirius nodded and grinned. "Just make sure _you're_ not standing under it when I walk over. I'd rather kiss an Iberian Imp than kiss you," he said.

"You've already kissed one! _I'd_ rather kiss Moaning Myrtle than kiss you!" James retorted.

"Moaning Myrtle is a ghost! You'd barely feel it!" said Sirius.

"Fine! I'd rather kiss the giant squid than kiss you!" James modified.

"Well, I'd rather kiss-"

"Boys, please!" said Professor Flitwick. "I know it is Christmas, but the lesson will be over soon, be patient."

James and Sirius fell silent. James was somehow more excited about the whole thing than Sirius was, but it seemed like Flitwick's lesson about French cleaning spells would never end. He kept fidgeting restlessly. When the class was finally over, everyone started packing their books up.

"Remus, do you know if the French spells would still work, if they're pronounced differently?" asked James.

"Yeah, they'd work," answered Remus, getting to his feet.

"Really? But how?" asked James.

"Um, not sure. Wait, I'll ask Flitwick," Remus said.

"No, I'll ask him," said Sirius and almost ran over to the professor.

Remus shrugged and packed up his things. James tried not to appear too excited as he walked over to the doorway. The three of them stood just outside the doorway, and let the other students pass.

"Thank you, sir. Merry Christmas," said Sirius.

"Oh, you have a lovely Christmas too, Mr. Black," said Flitwick.

"I know I will, sir! I'm going to James' house for Christmas," Sirius told him happily.

"Oho, excellent, excellent!" said the professor, genuinely happy for him.

As Sirius approached them, James pushed Remus to the doorway and got ready to speak his part, when someone suddenly squealed.

It was Claire Fawcett, one of their classmates. "Arvid, you're standing right under the mistletoe!" The remaining students all spotted the mistletoe and murmured to themselves.

At this point, Sirius was standing a foot away from Remus, he exchanged a horrified glance with James.  
'I'm sorry,' James mouthed to him.

All the girls pushed to the front, and Sirius got pushed to the back of the students. Arvid Larsen looked up at the mistletoe and then at Remus.

Sirius looked between Arvid and Remus. _No. This is not happening._

"Er," said James.

Remus looked up at the mistletoe and grinned at everyone around him. "There is no chance I'm letting some leaves dictate my life!"

"Remus, stop being a coward," said Lily, laughing. Remus narrowed his eyes at her.

"Aww, how adorable, this is his first kiss, that's why it is such a big deal for him," said somebody from the back.

"Are you stupid? I'm sure he's snogged Prefect Meadowes loads of times," someone replied. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Aw yeah!" one of the boys said.

"Can people stop discussing my love life please?" he requested, and everyone chuckled.

Sirius looked over at Flitwick, who was grinning mischievously. _That little… he did this on purpose! To spring this on unsuspecting students!_

"Come on, you two, it's tradition!" said Iker loudly, and everyone seemed to agree.

"You know what, Gomez? You lads need to clean your room," said Remus. "I nearly called Professor McGonagall to report a burglary there, the other day." Everyone laughed loudly at that, and Remus was a little taken aback. He didn't even think that was funny.

"I swear I wasn't planning this," said Arvid awkwardly. James burst into laughter at that, and Sirius swore to kick James' bum all the way back to King's Cross the next day.

"Of course not," Remus said.

Arvid smiled. "Is this really your first kiss?" she asked.

"You'll never know," he said and she smirked.

"Come on, Remus, do it!" Frank shouted, and the girls giggled.

"Fine," he said, and leaned in and gave her a small peck on her lips.

"That was ridiculous! Larsen, you didn't even kiss back!" said Claire and the other students agreed.

"Yeah, kiss him properly!" said Pratap, and Remus could hear Peter giggling. He knew the only way to finish this was to kiss her properly. So, he grabbed Arvid's face and chuckled to himself, feeling like he was taking some sort of lame revenge on Sirius for kissing Amanda. He kissed her for a whole five seconds.

Sirius had been scratching his eyebrow, wondering when this production would be over, and he paused mid-scratch as he looked at them. He felt like he'd just been stabbed. The five seconds seemed to go on forever, and when they broke apart, they both were blushing. Everyone cheered.

Remus grinned at Arvid. "Merry Christmas," he said.

Arvid blushed again. "Yeah, Merry Christmas, Lupin."

Then Remus pushed past James to get out of the classroom.

"Congratulations, we are officially late for Divination," they heard Lily say.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Lily. It's Christmas," said Marlene lightly.

Sirius sort of lagged behind and let everyone else exit the classroom first. Everyone was stepping out carefully in a single file to make sure they didn't get caught with someone else under the mistletoe.

"Oh my God, Arvid!" How was the kiss?!" Claire asked in a low voice, giggling.

Arvid grinned. "It was unexpectedly good, his lips are so soft," she told her and the two girls laughed again. Milla smacked her twin on the head.

Sirius scowled. He didn't think he could ever get this jealous. Finally, when he walked out of the classroom, he caught up with the other Marauders as they walked to the North Tower, and to his dismay, Peter was still talking about Arvid. The very thought of Arvid's lips on Remus' made his blood boil.

"Oh, er... it was alright, you know," said Remus, unable to stop grinning. He found the whole situation really funny.

"You're lucky she didn't run for the hills," said Peter. "She probably would have if it had been me."

"Nah, she wouldn't," said Remus politely. He put his hands behind his neck and looked up at the ceiling to steady his thoughts. When he glanced sideways, Sirius was looking back at him.

Sirius turned away immediately. He hadn't been able to resist looking at Remus' lips, remembering how Arvid had described them. _Changing the subject…  
_ "Um, about the, er question James had?" he said, and the other three looked at him.

"Oh yeah, what did Flitwick say?" said James.

"Well, since we use wands from English trees, and we're English speakers, the spell works fine even if we pronounce it in an English way. But I expect that every spell has a specific English pronunciation that we must use," he explained.

"Yeah, I see. Thanks, Padfoot," said James and he nodded.

"THAUMATURGY!" yelled Professor Zhao, their divination master, and everyone froze. "Ah, that's better," he said in his thick Chinese accent. Everyone took their seats and opened their books quickly and noiselessly.

Professor Zhao whipped around to write the words 'Thaumaturgy is not obsolete,' on the blackboard.

The professor had a long, thin, black braid which reached below his back, and every day, he tied a different ribbon at the end of it, matching the different silk robes he wore. Sirius wondered if he should grow his hair that long. _It would be stressful to manage, though…_

"Thaumaturgy is the name we give to the mechanism of wandless magic," said the Professor. "The wizards of old, like the most famous of them all, Merlin, were very efficient in wandless magic. But people felt the need to channel this magic properly, so they invented wands. And after that, there was no need for wandless magic to be researched further, and it was slowly cast aside. You can't forget about it completely though, magic resides inside each and every one of us, whether or not we use wands."

Lily was fascinated by this topic.

"Wow, I thought wands were the reason we could do magic," said Pratap.

"They are just a medium, how else do you explain accidental outbursts of magic from small children?" said the professor, and everyone nodded.

"Oh yeah," said Pratap, and Frank laughed at him.

Lily put up her hand.

"Yes?"

"Why aren't we taught wandless magic at school, professor?" she asked and the professor smiled.

"That's a very good question, Ms. Evans," he said. "That's because magic with wands is quite uncomplicated-"

Some students murmured amongst themselves.

"No, no, I'm not saying wand magic is easy, I'm saying it's uncomplicated. Those who study wandlore know that the wand chooses the wizard, because it's made with elements from other magical living things... wood from wand trees, feathers or hairs from magical creatures, and thus, wands come with their own magic. Combine a wand with an incantation, and the whole process of casting a spell becomes way more efficient. Wandless magic may be more powerful, but in adults, and in children alike, it is often conjured erratically, and sometimes to disastrous results."

"So, it's powerful, but difficult to conjure?" she asked.

"It's not difficult to conjure, but to conjure it in the right amount, for the right thing, and to use it in the proper way... and at the right time, is very, very difficult - because it often requires great emotion behind the act. An emotion that requires not only intensity, but also purity of heart."

Lily nodded.

Then the professor grinned. "Now, your other teachers like Minerva McGonagall or Horace Slughorn, while they may be excellent in their own fields of study, think of this as, as obsolete as the myth of the tooth-worm. But it is not, I assure you."

Some of the students smiled at each other.

"By Long Wang, does no one know the myth of the tooth-worm?!" asked the professor, surprised.

Remus meekly raised his hand.

"Yes, thank you! At least one person knows," said the professor. "Care to enlighten everyone?"

"Well, um…"

"Go ahead," the professor encouraged him.

"Well, this was way before people knew about germs and bacteria… healers in ancient Mesopotamia thought that cavities were caused due to tiny worms that burrowed into your teeth-"

"Oh Godric!" shuddered Mary, and everyone chuckled.

"And once it gets into your gums, your teeth will never be the same again," said Remus, putting on a a dramatic voice and it scared her further.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Mary.

"And do they spread by snogging, Remus?" asked Marlene, and everyone laughed.

"They don't exist!" said Remus in a low voice, blushing a bit, and everyone laughed again.

"Healers in medieval Europe believed it too, because they couldn't explain the holes otherwise, until they discovered bacteria," the professor added. "Anyway, thank you Mr. Lupin, for that piece of trivia, now let us get back to our topic of discussion today. Thaumaturgy hasn't been completely forgotten, only left dormant. A person who practices thaumaturgy is called a thaumaturge. Can anyone name some?"

"How do you know everything?" whispered Sirius. "How is it that he knows everything?" James just shrugged.

"Merlin?" said Claire, and the professor nodded.

"Jesus Christ," said Lily, and everyone laughed at her.

"No, no, don't laugh, she's right," said the professor. "We read of the miracles performed by Him. People worship him as a God. Many wizarding scholars are of the opinion that the technique used by him and his disciples is thaumaturgy 101."

Everyone was surprised.

"Five points to Gryffindor, Ms. Evans," he added and Lily was delighted.

"I thought that was just a myth," Frank muttered.

"Who can name another saint in south Asia, who was also worshipped for the miracles he performed?"

"The Baba of Shirdi," said Pratap excitedly.

"Correct, take another five points," said the professor. "The Baba of Shirdi became so popular, that he earned himself a place on the Hindu pantheon of Gods."

Pratap nodded. "For once, all my extensive knowledge of Hindu mythology actually helped me," he said, and everyone laughed.

The professor laughed too. "What you all must remember about wandless magic and these great saints, is that they were only able to perform these miracles, because they had the purest of hearts, the most honourable of intentions, a zeal to help people, to make lives better for those around them... because they just loved everyone. They loved each and every person unconditionally. And unconditional love can conjure the most powerful magic, which no amount hate can ever shatter."

Everyone was quiet as they digested this information.

"I will just give you the basic concepts today," said Zhao, turning to the blackboard again. "You will only be learning the theory for this topic, there won't be any practicals." Lily looked disappointed. "I have some books on the topic if any of you wanted to do some extra reading though," he added, his long braid swung behind him as wrote forcefully.

"No thank you," said Sirius to his friends.

"Extra reading, why? What fool would borrow those books anyway?" asked James.


	39. Rhubarb

On their last evening, Peter, James and Remus sat by the fire in the Common room, playing Exploding Snap. The whole time they played, Remus wondered where Sirius was. Suddenly the cards burst into flames and Peter squeaked in surprise. The other two laughed at him.

"Pete, you're really starting to sound like a rat even in human form," said James.

"Not just me, have you noticed Sirius? The other day I saw him sniffing a library book like a dog," said Peter and they laughed again. "And I noticed you do it too," he added, pointing at James.

"What! I don't sniff things," said James.

"No, but you're preferring a more vegetarian diet. Last night, you just ate the silver beet salad, anyone would think you were on a diet or something," Peter informed him.

"Fascinating," said Remus.

"Do you think it's not good for my health? I am a human, not a deer," said James.

"I think you'll be fine, you haven't stopped eating eggs or drinking milk," said Remus, grinning at him.

"You do eat chicken too, sometimes," said Peter.

"Pete, you're way too observant, it's kind of creepy," observed James, and the other two chuckled. "Well, I won this game," he then added after a few moments.

"How is that?" Peter demanded.

"I had the lead before it all blew up," he replied simply.

"You're getting good at this, Prongs," said Remus.

"Where's Sirius? He loves Exploding Snap," asked Peter.

Remus smiled. _Thanks, Peter._

"Packing his trunk," said James.

"Why's he taking this long?" asked Peter.

James just shrugged in response, gazing at Lily a few tables away. The girls looked like they were playing that word-building game they always loved to play.

"One of us should go see where he's got to," said Remus.

"But trunk packing is so boring. I nearly died of boredom just packing my own," Peter whinged.

Remus chuckled. _Yay._ "Fine, I'll go. It definitely beats sitting here and watching James ogle at Lily."

James turned his face slowly in what he thought was a menacing way. "I heard that," he said.

Remus grinned. "That's expected. When you're less than a foot away from us," he said and got to his feet. Peter chortled loudly and James scowled.

Remus walked up the stairs and opened the dorm door. Sirius was kneeling in front of his trunk, gloomily attempting to pack.

"Oh, why do you look so glum? Aren't you excited to go to James'?" Remus asked him, walking in.

"I am. But I don't know what my mother is going to do to me- I mean say to me," he said, quickly glancing at Remus. "It's my grandparents' sixtieth wedding anniversary, you see, and as the heir, I'm supposed to be present at the party. Especially since it's over the holidays."

Remus knelt down beside him.

"But I'm so tired of these stuffy parties, you know! I've had enough of them over the summer!" Sirius said, throwing a pajama top into his trunk.

"What will she do?" Remus asked him.

 _She might starve me for a few days. Or father might do something worse. He's always worse._ But he couldn't tell him the truth. "Well, the next time she'll see me is only after the OWLs, so she may just forget about it by then," said Sirius.  
 _Lies. Lies that people told themselves when they lived in denial._ But the lie helped him to not focus on her, for now at least.

Remus nodded. "Okay, I guess that's good," he said, unable to think of anything else to say. Then he looked at the trunk. "This trunk is a terrible mess."

Sirius chuckled. "Kreacher always packs my trunk at home."

"But your bed and your cupboard are all so neat," said Remus.

"I've never packed it properly. I always throw stuff into it like this," said Sirius.

"Why don't you use those French household spells that Flitwick taught us today?"

"This is after I used that," said Sirius. "I dunno, I couldn't get them to fall neatly in place."

"Hmm, we need to remember to practise that charm when we're back," said Remus.

"Always thinking about studying Remus, you're such a bore," said Sirius, gently shoving him.

"And what if it we get it in the final exam?" asked Remus seriously.

"Fine, I'll make a note to revise them," Sirius assured him.

"This looks terrible, you won't be able to find anything when you need it," said Remus, taking stuff out of the trunk. "You're going to James', Kreacher won't be there."

"You're right… It'll probably take me a few days to get acquainted with their house elf," said Sirius. Remus gave him a stern look and he laughed. "Okay, okay. Let's pack this trunk properly," he said, and helped Remus take everything out of the trunk to pack it again.

Remus took a hair tie out of the trunk. "Whose is this?"

"Narcissa's," he replied, grinning. "I stole it from her dresser when we visited last summer."

"Why?"

Sirius pointed to his hair as if it was obvious.

"Can you show me how you did it?" Remus asked curiously.

"Maybe some other time," said Sirius, feeling self-conscious.

Remus felt a little hurt when Sirius said that, but then, Lily's words resounded in his ears. _Pathetic. You are pathetic for liking him after everything he's done._

"So, how do you suggest we do this?" asked Sirius.

Remus just stared, deep in thought. As he looked at Sirius, all he knew was that whether or not Sirius liked him back, he knew for sure was that he would love him forever. He was so aware of how stupid it was, Sirius had literally kicked him to the metaphorical curb, but he was gonna keep going back. Again and again. He couldn't help it, he was pulled in so deep. He didn't know if he'd ever get to kiss that mouth in this lifetime. Or even touch it. Or if he would ever get to say all those unsaid words. But for now, he was fine just being in Sirius' company.

"Moony? Star to Moon, hello," said Sirius, waving his hand in front of Remus' face.

Remus gave him a small smile, surprised at the muggle reference. "Fine, here, fold this shirt."

Sirius grinned and took it from him. "Wasn't there a folding charm?" he asked.

"Fold it manually, you lazy bum," said Remus.

James and Peter came upstairs some time later to use the toilet. James opened the door and saw the two of them laughing together, and he didn't feel like going in and disturbing them, but Peter pushed past him.

"Thank goodness, you're done," he said, causing them to jump.

A few days later, Sirius was standing in the Potters' parlour, nervously fiddling with a stud on his jeans. "No," he mumbled, afraid that he was going to anger the Potters.

"But why not, Sirius?" asked Mia. "Don't you like classical music?"

"I'd have thought you would be into it, I often see your grandparents and your uncle at the Opera," said Monty.

"Er…" said Sirius and grimaced at James. They were going to have to tell them the truth.

"Sirius' parents don't know that he's here," said James.

"Yeah, I got that from his hesitation," said Monty. "I reckon they won't be too happy about you coming to our house, would they?"

"No, it's not that," Sirius replied in a low voice, mortified. It was true, the Blacks would be furious. They hated the Potters passionately. They hated any family that supported muggleborns. But Sirius didn't want the Potters to feel bad. So he tried to say something else. "Well, my mother thinks I'm at Hogwarts, and if she catches me at the Opera House in London, she'd obviously be pissed," he said, chuckling nervously.

"That's alright, honey," said Mia. "In fact, I don't think James particularly enjoys Opera either, so you two can stay behind."

"On our own?!" asked Sirius, surprised.

"Yeah, are you scared to be alone in a house with just me?" asked James, grinning.

"Of course not, your house is the least creepy place ever," he said, looking around at the bright sunlight streaming from the windows, even though it was winter.

"Don't your parents ever leave you alone at home?" asked James.

"No, they always drag me and Regulus along wherever they go," he replied, grinning.

"Okay, then, it's almost time to go," said Monty. "James, I need you to assist Jani in cleaning the larder."

"Who's Jani?" Sirius asked.

"Our head house elf," Monty told him.

"Assist a house elf?!" Sirius blurted out, extremely surprised this time. Then he immediately regretted it. The Potters all exchanged looks and he blushed. "Sorry, I know that sounded a little racist."

"It's fine," Mia said. "I'm guessing you don't do things like that back home-"

"Please don't think I'm racist or that I'd mistreat a house elf… I-"

"No one thinks that, Sirius," said James.

"Please don't be angry," he mumbled meekly, looking at the floor, and it kind of broke Mia's heart.

"Sirius, honey, we are not angry," she said. "We're not, honest." She put her hand on his shoulder, but he couldn't look up at her. As he realised how different his attitude was from other normal people like the Potters, he felt ashamed of himself, and wished he'd kept his mouth shut. _What if they never let me come back again? What if they tell James that I'm a bad influence on him, and forbid him from being friends with me?_

"Look Sirius, you don't have to be embarrassed about something you said," said James. "I say stupid shit all the time."

"That's not helping, you just told him that he's said something stupid," said Mia.

"Oh crap," said James, and the Potters chuckled, lightening the mood.

"Sirius, there's nothing you could say that'd make us feel uncomfortable, alright?" said Monty, smiling in a friendly way.

"Oh yeah?" asked Sirius, also beginning to smile.

"Yeah, just… just be yourself," said Mia.

Sirius nodded and gave them a small smile.

Mia patted his cheek lovingly. "Okay, we have to get going soon, James, come with me, please, I seem to have misplaced my pearl necklace again," she said.

"Which one, mum?" he asked.

"The Bornean pearls," she said, giving him a look, and James promptly followed her out of the room, knowing he was in trouble.

Monty straightened his Nehru jacket and scratched his beard thoughtfully. "You know," he said to Sirius. "If I don't hurry her along, we might miss the show."

"Has that ever happened before?" asked Sirius, laughing.

"There were some near misses, but thankfully we've never actually missed a whole show... but only because I hurried her along," said Monty, walking out of the parlour.

Sirius chuckled to himself, remembering how Narcissa also took forever to get ready. Then he stopped laughing. _Tomorrow's the anniversary…_ _Just don't think about it._ He looked around and spotted a chess set, and walked over to it.

"James, how could you not tell us that Sirius hadn't asked for permission?!" Mia demanded, as soon as they entered the Potters' master bedroom.

"I'm sorry, I thought that if I told you, you might not allow him to come," he said.

"Darn right, we wouldn't have!" said Monty, walking in and shutting the door.

"But you don't understand-" James began.

"No, James, _you_ don't understand," said Monty seriously. "You don't know the Black family like we do."

James looked at his father fearfully.

"They're dangerous people, honey," said Mia. "It's not in our best interest to anger them and bring unnecessary trouble onto our heads."

"I agree that I do not know the Blacks, but I do know this particular Black," James said, pointing to the door. "He needs this holiday, mum. He- He's not doing so well."

"What do you mean?" asked Mia. "Is he sick?"

"Not physically, but he's really troubled. A lot of things happened at school, and I didn't want him going back to that house after all that," he said.

"What kind of things?"

"I really can't tell you, mum," he said. "But trust me, I know he'll recover a little if he's here with us. With you two."

Mia smiled. "Oh, I'm glad you think that."

"But no special treatment, otherwise he'll know," said James, and Mia laughed.

"Okay."

Monty didn't laugh. "Tell me this, James," he said. "Why would it be better for Sirius to come here, rather than go back home and spend Christmas with his family? Surely, that would be better for him, I know the Blacks aren't particularly interested in entertaining outsiders, but they do take care of their own."

"That's not true," said James, remembering what Remus had let slip about Sirius' letter. He saw his parents exchange glances, but he couldn't bring himself to tell them about it.

"What is it?" asked Mia.

"I said I can't tell you."

"You have to give us something, James," said Monty.

"He's always careful not to tell us anything that goes on at his house, but sometimes he says things unintentionally," he told them. " They treat him like he's nothing, dad. They don't care about anything he has to say, they punish him really harshly for small things - last year he told me that they locked him up for two days in his room, _for being brusque…_ I don't think they gave him anything to eat during that time-"

"Oh Merlin!" exclaimed Mia. "That's why he appeared to be so scared earlier."

"And they make him do all sorts of horrible things because he's the heir - he'd once spent five hours standing in painful shoes- I'm pretty sure that constitutes as abuse!" Then James remembered what Sirius had joked about when they were talking about Amanda. "This may sound implausible, but I also think his parents have someone keeping an eye on him… spying on him, you know, probably because _he's the heir_ ," he added, making air quotes. Then he stopped himself from telling them about what happened with the Slytherins at school.

"Not really, I can very well believe that," said Mia darkly.

"Oh Godric," said Monty. "There's more isn't there?"

"Ye- no, listen," said James. "That's why I brought him here."

"Oh James, you must have been so worried about him!" said Mia, hugging him.

"Well, I didn't want to worry you as well," said James. "That's why I didn't tell you."

"No, no, I'm glad you told us," said Monty. "And I'm glad you brought him here, James. You did the right thing, I'm so proud of you. You care so much about your friends."

James smiled.

A few minutes later, James walked into the parlour, where Sirius was trying to play chess with himself. "Padfoot, unfortunately you won't be finishing that game, it's time to go help Jani," he said.

Sirius grinned. "Are these chalcedony?" he asked, picking up a bishop.

James nodded. "Agate," James . "And the other side is Pietersite."

"So pretentious, I just read this engraving on the corner here, 'From the Minister for Magic, for James Potter's 17th birthday'? How old are you, my friend?!" asked Sirius.

James laughed. "That's an antique chess set," he explained. "There was apparently a James Potter amongst my ancestors about five hundred years ago."

"Oooh," said Sirius, nodding and getting to his feet. "Will we really be assisting your house-elf?"

"Jani doesn't usually ask me do work, she usually just shows me the ropes, and makes me do something just to get an idea," said James, leading the way to the Kitchens.

"Fascinating," said Sirius, and James chuckled. "So that's how you know how to do so many things, even though you're a pureblood."

James chuckled again. "Yes, Sirius. And today, you'll learn as well."

"What's so special about cleaning a larder anyway? Filch has already made us clean dozens of things," said Sirius.

"I guess we'll find out."

In this way, Sirius spent several fun-filled days at the Potters and completely forgot about his own family during the time. Together, James and Sirius played several pranks on the Potters. James and his father even played a prank on Sirius. And before he could plot a revenge prank on them, Mrs. Potter decided to revenge-prank him. But when he heard her shriek loudly as the bubbles in her bath turned into frogs, Sirius decided to put a pause on the pranking.

"James, let's just stop pranking your parents," he said.

"But it's so much fun," said James.

"Yes, but you do realise how old they are, right? I don't want to be the reason one of them dies of a heart attack," Sirius told him bluntly.

James stared at him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you-"

"Can we just do pranks which are non-shocking?" he asked innocently, and Sirius laughed.

Christmas was a truly magical time at the Potter household. Mr. Potter went out and cut down a pine tree himself and levitated it back into the house, and all of them spent the majority of two days decorating the massive tree by hand. Mr. Potter showed Sirius all the wooden Christmas baubles that had been passed down through the generations. He even suggested that James and Sirius carve one of their own and contribute to the collection. Sirius was overwhelmed by the honour, and nearly cried for happiness. When they lit all the candles on Christmas eve, the tree looked glorious. On Christmas morning, James and Sirius opened several presents, most of them from the Potters and a box of Irish scones each from Peter. They didn't get any presents from Remus though, just a letter. Sirius read it out aloud.

 _Hey Padfoot and Prongs,_  
 _Happy Christmas, I hope you're having a blast. Padfoot, I know this is your first proper Christmas, don't get too santa-mental. (Haha, bad pun I know, don't kill me,) Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the new copy of Numerology and Grammatica, my old one was completely out of date-_

"We know!" said James, laughing.

Sirius went on with the letter.  
 _Please thank Mrs. Potter for the Carrot cake, we absolutely loved it. Unfortunately, I can't buy any presents for my friends this year, because of the whole renovation thing, and also, the old-age home was collecting a fund to provide the seniors with new heaters in the activity room, so I donated my pocket money there-_

"Typical Moony," said James.

"What a generous lad," said Mia.

"I'll write a cheque to the home," said Monty, nodding, and James and Sirius grinned at each other.

 _Can't wait to see you on New Year's eve! I'll be arriving around midday I think, that's when dad said he'll be finished with his shift. In the meantime, try not to drive the Potters insane-_

They all laughed. "That actually gives me an idea for a new prank," said Sirius.

 _Dad said he knew a charm that turns people into marmosets for twenty-four hours, and he'd be glad to pass it on to Mr. Potter if the double trouble continues._

"Sounds good," said Mia and everyone laughed again.

 _Yours_ ,  
 _Moony._  
 _P.S. If you don't save some Christmas pudding for me, I'll kick both your arses._

"He is insatiable," said Sirius.

"Remus is addicted to chocolate," James explained to his mother.

"Why don't we ask Jani to make him a chocolate cake? It'll be such a nice surprise when he arrives," said Mia.

" _You_ are my favourite human," Sirius said to her.

"Clearly not," said Monty, grinning. Sirius avoided James' grin.

After Christmas, James and Sirius just couldn't wait for the other two to arrive. "Two more days," said Sirius, happily taking a seat at the Potters' dining table.

"Are you really so excited for the New Year, Sirius?" asked Mia, smiling as she buttered James' toast for him.

"I would assume he's excited for all the booze at the party," said Monty, and they all laughed.

"No way. You're not of age, no alcohol!" Mia said sternly.

"We know that, mum," James said.

"Yeah, they do. I'm sure the glass of wine James will have on his seventeenth birthday will be his first," Monty said sarcastically, and Sirius looked at him in awe.

"James! Have you been drinking at school?!" asked his mother. James shook his head untruthfully.

"Well, don't lie, James," Sirius said, grinning as James widened his eyes at him.

"What!" asked Mia.

"Only butterbeer, mum!" said James hurriedly.

"Well, it's my fault, Mrs. Potter. You see, at my house, we're given wine to drink since the age of twelve-"

"Preposterous!" said Mia, and even Monty was shocked.

"Twelve is too young," Monty agreed.

"I know. But I may have been in the possession of some chocolate cauldrons... and James may have ingested a few…"

"Well... as long as you're under this roof, you're not allowed any alcohol. It's not good for children!"

"Mum, were not children!"

"No arguments."

Sirius could see that James was a little put out. "I'm just excited to see Remus and Peter again!" he exclaimed, and James smiled at him.

"Here Sirius, let me butter your toast too," said Mia, taking his plate. Sirius looked at her with wonder. His parents never did that. His mother had never ever buttered his bread.

"Is rhubarb okay, dear?" she asked him.

Sirius smiled and nodded, still watching her in awe.

"Sirius, you hate rhubarb," said James.

"Oh, er… well, the one here is nice," he said.

"Oh, why didn't you say? We also have orange marmalade," said Mia, walking over to the other end of the long table.

"No, it's fine," he said.

"Or would you prefer peanut butter?" she asked, holding up a bottle.

"Yes mum, he likes peanut butter," said James.

"Excellent," said Monty. "I love it too."

Sirius thought he'd cry for happiness again. Everyone was just so loving in this house, they took care of his every need. They actually took care of each other's every need. He never wanted to leave.


	40. Mersickness

The night before New Year's Eve, Sirius stealthily entered James' room. "James," he said, shaking him awake.

"What is it?" asked James, rubbing his eyes.

"Is it alright if I sleep here tonight?" Sirius asked, already crawling in next to him.

"Yeah, sure," mumbled James. "You didn't need to wake me up for that."

"I've just been to the kitchens, Jani gave me some cookies to eat," said Sirius, happily getting under the covers. The whole bed quaked.

"Have you brushed? Moony will know if you don't," said James, and Sirius chuckled lightly.

"Yes, I brushed."

"I thought you said you haven't been feeling hungry much?" asked James.

"I don't know, James, I may have a stomach bug. Maybe I've contracted Mersickness… Should I tell Mrs. Potter?"

James just laughed at him.

"What's so funny?"

"You have not got Mersickness!" said James, sitting up.

"What do you think it is, then?"

"This happened to me too, once," said James.

"What did you do? Did you go to a healer?" asked Sirius, genuinely curious. "You know, Bellatrix once told me that the only way to cure yourself of Mersickness is to stand in a barrel full of lamprey eyes or something..."

James laughed again. "You nitwit! She was just messing with you!"

"Oh," said Sirius. "You might be right, that grisly ghoul!"

"That's what older cousins and siblings do, they mess with you," said James. "One time, when I was seven, we went to Bath with my cousins, and Danielle thought it would be funny to tell me that the only way one could learn to swim properly was to swallow a live fish..."

Sirius laughed. "Did you do it?"

"Nearly, I was holding a live goldfish and everything, but our aunt caught us."

Sirius laughed again. "Who's the nitwit now?"

"Mate, this happened when I was seven, you're fifteen and you still believe the crap she told you."

"Fine!"

A few moments passed in silence. Then James said, "Well, I never visited a healer for the condition, but I did have a conversation."

"And? What did the healer say?" asked Sirius impatiently.

"Not with a healer, with hunger."

"You had a conversation with hunger," Sirius said, rolling his eyes, even though no one could see him. _Here we go._  
James had a poetry mode which made its presence known every three or four months, in which he spouted the most randomly corny stuff imaginable.

"Yes, I asked hunger why it wouldn't grace me with its presence any more. You know what it said to me?"

Sirius sighed and turned over to face him. "No, James. What did hunger say to you?"

"It told me that love had taken its place in my tummy."

"Merlin's pants, that was the most cheesiest thing I've ever heard in my life!" Sirius exclaimed, and James laughed again.

"Please go back to sleep," Sirius advised him.

"But I couldn't sleep either!" said James. "Can you?"

"So sleep wasn't visiting you either?"

"No. It won't. It was angry with me."

Sirius smiled despite himself. "Why is that, James?"

"Because, love drove it away with a passion."

"Great Godric, have mercy on my soul!" said Sirius.

"Very funny, Sirius. You can't tell me that you don't feel the same way right now. I know you can't stop thinking about Remus."

Sirius frowned. "I…"

James chuckled and patted his head. "You're pining, my dear friend."

"What?" said Sirius. "Oh no…"

"Oh yeah..." said James in the same tone, looking up at the dark ceiling.

"Are you thinking about Evans?" asked Sirius after a few minutes.

"I try not to think."

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean, he asks. She hates me, Pads. Moony doesn't hate you, he'd do anything for you."

Sirius looked at James sadly. "I'm pretty sure he's not particularly delighted with me after the Amanda incident... You know, maybe Moony could talk to Evans for you."

"We'll see. Meanwhile, both hunger and SLEEP are my best friends right now. So, let me sleep," said James.

"I'm sorry, Prongsie."

"Don't be. You can't blame yourself for wanting to be happy. I really hope it all works out in your favour."

"Thanks," Sirius said. "I love you, brother."

"Yeah, I love you too."

It was finally New Year's Eve. Remus Lupin stood on the front porch of the Potter's house, shivering. The extensive grounds of the Potter estate were covered in a blanket of snow and it looked so beautiful. He grinned as he heard the sounds of the party inside. _Can't wait to see the boys again!  
_ He rang the doorbell, and a harried-looking house elf opened the door.

"Hello sir, I is Jani the elf. Come in, sir," she said, standing aside to let him in. "Welcome to the Potter Estate."

He bent to pick his trunk up, but the elf got there first. "Leave it, sir, Jani will take it to your room," the elf said, and gave him a grin.

"My room? Do you know who I am?" he asked her.

"Yes, of course, sir. You is Master Lupin. Mistress has already informed me that you are arriving today, and Master Black has given me a very accurate description of you," she said delightedly.

"Er, has he?"

"Yes, sir. He calls you his Moony. So does Master James. A funny name. Much like house elf's. I is liking it very much, sir," she said, grinning.

"Do you? Well you can call me Moony too, if you like," he told her and she beamed.

"Really, sir? Jani would like that very much. Thank you!" she said excitedly. She then snapped her fingers and his trunk disappeared. Then she took his hand and pulled him inside through the giant Entrance hall, an ornate billiards room, and finally arrived to the biggest room he had seen yet.

"This is the parlour, Master Moony," she said, and pointed to Mr. Potter and his wife. They were standing next to a large plant, it was so large it was almost a tree. An indoor tree in a pot. It looked like a rubber tree with its shiny leaves, but it had bright pink flowers. Remus turned to thank Jani, but she'd already disappeared. So he made his way through the people gathered in the room, each person in brightly coloured dress robes of various kinds. He sidestepped a lady who had real bees buzzing amongst the flowers in her hat.

"Mr. Potter," said Remus.

"Ah, Remus, you're here, finally. The boys have been going crazy, waiting for you all day," he said jovially, shaking Remus's hand.

"Oh, my father got held up at work, he apparated me here a few minutes ago," Remus replied.

"Is he here? I would like to have a sit-down with him actually. Maybe get a few tips off of him on how to raise children properly," he joked. Remus chuckled.

"No sir, he left immediately, he has an early morning," he told him and grinned at the woman snaking her arm around Mr. Potter's waist.

"Now love, it's ultimately got to do with the Potter gene, isn't it?" she said, pointing at a group of children, they were egging on a little kid to stand on his head. Remus noticed that they all had hair as messy as James', but James had got the black colour from his mother.

"Nice to see you again, Remus," she said. "You grow taller every time I see you."

Remus grinned at her. "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Potter."

She was about to reply, when they heard a loud yell, "REMUS!" It was James. They watched him weave through the crowd at top speed, and Remus wondered how he was able to move at that speed and still not crash into anyone. But he did crash into Remus, though. It was what you might call crashing into a hug.

"James, let him go, he can't breathe!" said Monty, laughing.

James let go of Remus. "We missed you! Why didn't you write more? Sirius has been driving me nuts with all his whinging!" he exclaimed.

"Funny. It's usually you who's driving others nuts, now we've finally found someone who would drive _you_ nuts, I knew I liked that boy," said Mia and they all laughed.

"I was busy at the home, there wasn't much time to write, much less something to write about," Remus told him.

"Remus volunteered at a Muggle home for the Aged, this Christmas," James told his parents.

"Yes, yes, we heard from the letter, that's impressive, son. Social service is something I very much encourage," said Monty.

"Thank you," said Remus politely.

"I knew you were a sensible boy, James did say you were a Prefect, too?" Mia asked him, and he nodded. They were impressed.

"Yes, yes, I know, I should be more like Remus, yada yada," said James, and he dragged Remus away from his parents. "Come on, Sirius and Peter are on the roof," he whispered, not so softly.

"Remus dear, have you had anything to eat?" Mrs. Potter called after them.

"Mum, who eats before they come to a party? We'll be back," James yelled back to her and continued dragging Remus out of the parlour.

"Why are they on the roof?" Remus asked as they climbed a gigantic set of Spanish steps.

"They views are great!"

"The _views_? That is so un-Marauder like."

They walked through a long corridor full of paintings of men and women, all with messy hair, although there was one with a bald man. _Oh, It's not a corridor, it's the gallery.  
_ Then James took him through a dusty, hidden staircase located behind a false wall, and it led to a small, even dustier door. This door opened directly onto the roof. There was a small flat area where Peter and Sirius were sitting.

Before coming over, Remus had prepared a whole list of reasons why he should behave normally around Sirius. But as soon as he laid eyes on him again, he forgot everything.

They jumped up and hugged Remus as soon as James and Remus came through the door. "Good to see you, mate!" yelled Sirius, thumping him on the back.

"Why were you late?" yelled Peter.

"Dad got held up at work… why are we yelling?" asked Remus.

"Oh, just because we can," said James, chuckling.

"It was really windy earlier," Peter told him. "We put up Warming charms now."

"You could have flooed here, though," said Sirius.

"Er, we were out of floo powder," Remus told them.

"Still, glad you could make it. All four Marauders together again!" said James happily. "Remus, the next town over have a fireworks display every year. It's very nice," he added.

"Cool!" said Remus. He thought he should mention this to Lily the next time he saw her. _She should know that James also did normal human things like appreciate fireworks._

"So Remus, what have you been up to this whole time?" Sirius asked, sitting down on a thick rug on the floor and patting the floor next to him.

"I practically lived at the old age home… never talk to me about bingo again, I hate it now," Remus said, sitting down next to Sirius.

"What's bingo?" asked Sirius.

"It's a boring muggle game played at parties, don't ask me to explain it," said Remus, frowning.

"Okay, yeah, you hate it," said Sirius, smiling.

"We haven't done any of our homework either, don't worry. We can start tomorrow," James told him.

There was a knock on the door. It was Jani, she came bearing chocolate cake.

"Yes!" said Remus, gleefully grabbing a slice before Jani even had a chance to place the cake on the floor. The others sniggered.

"Master James tells me Master Moony is partial to chocolate cake," said Jani, pleased to see Remus' reaction. "I is baking it myself, earlier today," she explained.

"It's delicious!" Remus told her, mouth full of cake. The others chuckled and took a slice each. She beamed and left.

"Thank you, Jani!" Remus called after her. "I don't know if she heard me..."

"She did," James told him, patting his shoulder.

"How come she calls you Master Moony?" asked Peter. "Isn't this the first time you've been here?"

"Apparently James and Sirius told her my nickname was Moony and she liked it so much, she said it sounded like a house elf name," Remus said, and they chuckled.

"That was all Sirius, not me. Apparently, Sirius was never allowed to enter the kitchens at home-"

"Except for when I was punished."

"-Except when he was punished, so he spent an entire day in ours, learning the names of the house elves and all their ancestors," finished James.

"I also learnt how to make borscht," said Sirius, smiling.

"What's borscht?" asked Peter interestedly.

"It's a Russian beet soup," Sirius told him.

"Sounds tasty," said Peter.

"She also recognised me instantly. Apparently, you told her exactly how I look?" Remus asked him.

"I did," said Sirius and winked at him. Remus grinned and James rolled his eyes.

They talked about school and reached the topic of Dorcas' crew. "Dorcas hasn't been able to go home for Christmas, she's on strict bed rest," Remus told them.

"That sucks," said James.

"I know, because she has a huge family, she has five older sisters, they're all married with kids," said Remus. "They all gather for Christmas..."

"I reckon they'll be going up to Hogwarts to visit her," said Peter, and Remus nodded.

They sat in silence for a while, then James couldn't resist asking Remus, "So, have you heard from Evans?" The others laughed.

"I've actually been waiting for you to ask me that, I'm surprised you resisted this long!" said Remus and the others sniggered. "She's at MacDonald's. So is Finbok. They've been invited over for Christmas, and she's having the best fun. So far, they've been to two Quidditch matches, three movies, and also to the zoo. They've also had slumber parties with the other girls in the neighbourhood."

"Wow!" said James, with a faraway look in his eye. "What about McKinnon?" he asked.

"She's in Turkey with her family, sightseeing," Sirius told him.

"I wonder what girls do at slumber parties," said Peter, with a dirty grin.

"Braid each other's hair?" suggested Sirius.

"I don't get that. Why braid your hair, when you're just gonna go to bed, after. I mean it's not like you're showing the hair off to people," said James.

"First off, I'm pretty sure that's just a cliche. Second, girls don't braid their hair or wear make up just to impress other people, they do it for their self satisfaction," said Remus.

"Yeah, no one braids hair anymore," said Peter.

"So what do they do, Wormy?" asked James, poking the boy in the ribs.

"They experiment," he replied importantly. Remus thought he understood where this conversation was going.

"What, like potions?" asked Sirius.

Peter laughed. "Sirius, do you know nothing about girls? By experiment, I mean _experiment_. With their _sexualities_ ," he told them. James and Sirius had their mouths hanging open.

"What, like a massive girl orgy?" asked Sirius, eyes wide.

James tried not to imagine some girl going down on his beloved Evans. "No!" he suddenly yelled, and the others jumped.

"Yeah, stop it, Peter. How do you even know this?" asked Remus, grinning. "What a load of tosh."

"I heard my cousin Lisa talking about one of her slumber parties when I was younger. She thought I was too young to understand what she meant, but I did," he said, grinning.

"Ew. That's disgusting to hear, especially about one of your cousins," said Sirius, grimacing.

"Yeah, Peter I do think you were too young. I mean she could have just been gay," Remus told him.

"Gay?!" asked Peter loudly.

"Yeah Peter, that's what girl-on-girl means," said James.

"I know _that_. But she's not gay. She's married now. But I'm not talking about that. Sometimes, girls want to know what it feels like, you know," said Peter, raising his eyebrows pointedly.

"An orgasm?" asked Sirius casually.

"Yeah, that. So they teach each other…" Peter replied.

"Why do they need to teach each other?" asked Sirius, perplexed.

"Great Godric, Sirius! Because girls' body parts are different and more complicated than ours," James told him in an exasperated tone.

"Oh," said Sirius.

"I can't believe you don't know that," said Peter, laughing at him.

"Well, I never really thought about it," said Sirius.

"What do you mean you never really thought about it?! You're fifteen!" said Peter.

"I don't know…" said Sirius, he was fidgeting now. James and Remus were grinning at him.

"What if you got a girlfriend? What would you do if you wanted to have sex?" asked Peter, and Sirius just gaped at him.

"Wait, do you even know what sex is?" asked James, grinning. Sirius hit him.

"Of course, I know!" said Sirius indignantly. Remus and Peter chuckled.

"What's sex, Sirius?" asked James.

"No, please. I do not want to hear Sirius Black describe sex to me. Please," said Peter, closing his ears, and unknowingly saving him.

"You know, Peter, just because that happened at one slumber party, that doesn't mean it happens at all of them, okay?" Remus said, attempting to change the topic. "Girls aren't a different species, they're just like us, with some minor changes. They aren't all the same."

"We never said they were," said James.

"See sometimes, when I hear you guys talk about girls, I feel like you're talking about a mass of giggling bodies with breasts," Remus said to them, and they chuckled.

"We should try and be more respectful, you're right," said Peter, nodding.

"Thank you. For example, Evans and co. could be playing games, watching a movie, they could be gorging on pie, or they could be doing this very thing. Sitting on a roof, waiting for fireworks to start," Remus told them and they smiled. "Change your perspective, and maybe one day, a girl might want to date you."

"Yeah, you're right, I guess," said Sirius, and Remus saw James and him exchange a look.

"You know, Wormtail, maybe your cousin is bisexual?" said Remus.

Peter frowned. "I don't get bisexuals. Either you're gay or not. What is it with wanting both? I just can't wrap my head around it, it's odd," he said.

"Why not?" asked James.

Remus blinked at him. _I'm bisexual. Does he think I'm odd too? Of course I'm odd, I'm a bisexual dark creature, can there ever be anything more odd than me in this entire world? Should I tell them now?!  
_

"Imagine. If a person were bi, and they were with a girl. What if they suddenly wanted... you know... What would they do?" Peter asked. James and Sirius had no idea what to tell him.

"It's not about the organ, Peter," said Remus slowly. "It's about the person."

"You'll probably understand when you fall in love," said Sirius.

"I still don't get it," said Peter.

Remus decided to explain it properly. "Sex organs have nothing to do with the concepts of gender or attraction. That's decided by the brain. If you have male sex organs, and your brain decides you're male and that you're attracted to females, you're straight. If you're attracted to males, you're gay. If you're attracted to both genders, you're bisexual," he told them.

James and Peter nodded, digesting the information, while Sirius just tried not to think of Remus' sex organs.

"Could you be attracted to anything, then? Like maybe animals too?" said Peter.

"Peter, what the heck!" said Sirius loudly.

"Animals are a different species!" said James.

Remus looked at his friends' faces. _Wth... I'm a different species.  
_ But Remus knew that his friends did not technically consider him a different species.

"Unless there's something wrong with their brain... I mean if they're mental, then it happens, right," said Peter.

"Well, yeah," said James.

Remus fiddled with the hem of his trousers. The feeling of being unclean returned. _But I'm a different species. If someone is attracted to me, does that mean they're attracted to animals? Does that mean they've gone mental?_ He did not even want to think of that cursed word. _Bestiality.  
_ "It's a valid question," he answered. "To which I honestly have no answer." It was true. Remus had never come across or even read about werewolves being in relationships with regular humans before. _Maybe we should research whether relations with werewolves come under bestiality._

Then suddenly, there was a burst of colour in the sky. The fireworks had begun. "Hey, it's a New Year and we haven't realised!" said James.

"Happy New Year, Marauders!" said Sirius. The boys stood shoulder to shoulder and watched the fireworks. When the fireworks ended, they grinned at each other.

"Those were spectacular, James," said Remus.

"Yeah!" said Sirius and Peter at the same time.

"Also, I'm kind of hungry, can we go down to the party?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, let's go!"

"James!" said Mia, waving them over.

"Happy New Year, mum! Dad!" said James, hugging them both, and they hugged him back. His mum even gave him a small kiss on the cheek as he let go.

"Happy New Year, boys!" said Monty.

"Happy New Year, Mr. Potter!"

"Yes, yes. Now, Remus, have you had anything to eat yet?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"A slice of cake, Jani brought us some," said Remus, smiling.

Mia put her hands on her hips. " _A slice of cake_? James, please go see to it that your guests are properly fed!"

* * *

 **Author's note: I know this is kind of a weird chapter, but I just wanted to depict the confusion and hesitation people experience when coming out as LGBTQ, and also the unintentional insensitivity of other people. These things are never easy, especially here since our story is set in the seventies.**


	41. Sour Grapes

"Come on, Moony," said James, placing a hand around his shoulders and guiding him toward the food and drink.

As they were eating, Remus listened to the music. Earlier, it had been a band playing, but now they could hear a piano, a familiar melody too. Remus excitedly turned his head to see who was playing, and as he expected, it was the same tan young man who'd been playing at Slughorn's party.  
"Nyctimus!" Remus said delightedly.

"Who's that?" asked Peter, looking to see where Remus was looking.

"That Greek werewolf you met at Slughorn's party?" asked James, smiling and looking over. Sirius followed his line of sight but didn't know whom to look for.

"Yeah!" said Remus.

"Another werewolf?" asked Peter fearfully.

"Chill, Wormy, he's just like Moony. He looks a tad classier too," said James, poking Remus in the ribs.

"He is…" said Remus softly, and that got Sirius' full attention.

"Who are you looking at?" he asked.

"The pianist, Pads. Remus told us about him, remember? He's a travelling musician, and according to our Moony, he's awesome," he said, smirking at Sirius, who was craning his neck to look at the pianist.

"I'm going to go say hi," said Remus, standing up.

"I'm coming with you," said James, also getting to his feet and following Remus over to the pianist.

As soon as he spotted Remus, Nyctimus stood up and hugged him, putting his nose into Remus' shoulder as if sniffing him. Sirius and Peter exchanged a look. Peter shrugged. "I guess that's how werewolves greet each other..."

Sirius didn't say anything. He thought that looked way more intimate than a general hug.

"Lupin, how are you?" Nyctimus asked Remus.

"I'm doing great. This is actually my friend's house. James Potter, meet Nyctimus," said Remus. They shook hands.

"James, you're house is beautiful. I love this instrument. It is an antique, am I right?"

James grinned. "Almost everything here is an antique. Yes, it's been in my family for ages."

"It's very well-maintained. Is your lady friend Ms. Lily here too?" he asked Remus.

"No, she's not here," said Remus, grinning at James.

"You know, maybe I should invite the girls next time, it's not a bad idea, Nyctimus!" said James and gave the werewolf a high-five. "Anyway, excuse me, I'd better get back to my other guests."  
Then he walked back to where Peter and Sirius were sitting.

"Remus looks very happy to see Nyctimus again," observed Peter.

"Well, yeah. They're both werewolves, so they must have a lot of things in common to talk about," replied James, grinning.

"Why is he all over Remus? Do you think he likes Remus?" asked Sirius, glaring at Nyctimus, and Peter laughed.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Sirius asked James.

"Immensely."

"Fuck you. And he keeps _touching_ him."

"I can see that," said James.

"You know Sirius, it doesn't sound like you're concerned anymore, anyone would think you're jealous," Peter told him.

"Of course not!"

"So you are still friends with that Sirius Black, I see," said Nyctimus, looking over at their table.

Remus smiled.

"Even after what happened at the party?" he asked.

"Oh, you saw that?"

"I did," said Nyctimus. "I know it isn't all that easy for a Lycan to find love amongst the humans, but it was obvious he had feelings for that girl in all black."

Remus nodded, wondering if Amanda had worn all black on purpose.

Nyctimus looked at James and Sirius, whispering together. "Hmm," he wondered. "Would you like to see if he gets jealous?"

"How do you suggest we do that?" asked Remus, grinning.

"First, we sit really close," Nyctimus said, pulling him to sit on the piano bench with him.

Remus couldn't stop grinning. "Oh, I actually have a question for you. Is it okay if I ask? It's a little odd."

"Ask me anything you want," the pianist replied, tapping Remus' nose with a finger. Remus smiled again and told him about the discussion he'd had with his friends earlier that night.

Nyctimus looked over at the other three again. "Do they not know you're a Lycan?!"

"Of course they do!" said Remus.

"So, why would that Peter say something like that in front of you? And why would the others talk that way?!"

Remus sighed. "Because he's not a Lycan, he'll never completely get it. To them, I'm just a human with a problem... the very thought that it looked like he was referring to me, probably didn't even cross their minds."

Nyctimus shook his head.

"Peter is a good person, he's actually the nicest of all my friends," Remus insisted.

Nyctimus looked at Remus with something like pity in his eyes. "There are some friends in this world, that only hang out with you and comfort you to feel better about themselves-"

Remus scoffed. "Peter is not one of them."

Nyctimus looked over at Sirius again, and moved closer to Remus. Remus tried not to smile.

"So, what was your question?" Nyctimus asked.

"Would a relation between a human and a werewolf really be considered bestiality?"

Nyctimus smiled. "Ah, you are so young," he said, patting his cheek. "No. Unless the human and Lycan do the deed when he's in wolf form, it's not. But as you know, that is impossible, because the wolf will kill the human before any such things can happen."

"Right. So, it's a very physical concept?"

"Yes. But..."

"Oh no, what?"

"We do technically come under being/beast, and-"

"Fuck."

Nyctimus laughed. "Embrace it, Lupin," he said emphatically. "See, I don't think you completely get it, yet. This is what humans do. Falling in love is an amazing, innocent and beautiful thing, who cares if it happens between species? Humans are so afraid of anything out of the ordinary, that they will take even something amazing like love and twist it with their dark words and make it into something disgusting and forbidden... and in the end, they get you to hate yourself without lifting even a finger."

Remus smiled at him.

"And this problem is not unique to lycanthropy. This can happen with a person's sexual orientation, their race, caste, blood purity, how much money they have, anything," Nyctimus continued. "The thing is this, people who say these harsh stuff are one of two things, either ignorant or curious."

"Yeah, exactly," said Remus.

"But we must remember that just because they are curious, doesn't mean they are ready to learn, so it's not our job to enlighten them. People who genuinely want to learn will make an effort. And meanwhile, fuck the words, the definitions, the labels. Be yourself, do what you think feels right to you, that is all that really matters," Nyctimus added.

Remus felt truly happy for the first time in weeks. "How are you so young, but so wise?" he asked him.

Nyctimus chuckled. "My family is wise, not me." he said, and smiled at Remus.

"Wow," said Remus. "The Greeks are wise."

Nyctimus chuckled. "Do you play? he asked, gesturing at the piano.

"Only one muggle song," Remus replied.

"Go ahead."

"Well, it's been a long time, don't judge me."

"Never."

"Well, it's a little daunting to play in front of such an accomplished pianist as yourself, but here goes," said Remus and began to play 'So, This Is Love,' from the 1950's cartoon movie, _Cinderella_. Nyctimus looked over at Sirius again, and saw him watch Remus play the piano with a blazing intensity, that he suddenly realised.  
 _Oh. He does likes him._

Remus finished playing, and looked at him expectantly. But the pianist was deep in thought. "What happened?" he asked

"I like you," Nyctimus told him directly.

Remus blushed a little. "What?" he whispered.

"But that Sirius Black likes you too," said Nyctimus.

Remus turned his head to look at Sirius, but Nyctimus caught his chin. "Don't look over and make it obvious we're talking about them. If I'm completely honest, you didn't even need to make him jealous. He is yours," he said.

"This feels like a conspiracy, somehow," said Remus, and Nyctimus chuckled.

"Think of it as the universe conspiring to give you a sign," said Nyctimus. "Why else would we have met like this again?"

Remus went to bed that night, completely happy. Sirius, not so much. He wondered about Remus and Nyctimus, and didn't fall asleep until four in the morning. And by the time Remus came to wake him up, it was past noon.

"Sirius, wake up," said Remus, opening his curtains forcefully. The afternoon light pierced Sirius' retina through his lids. He raised his hand and covered his eyes, thinking it was a dream.

"It's nearly one-thirty, Sirius, wake up," said Remus again, shaking him. Nothing. No movement.  
"Sirius," said Remus, and sighed and sat down beside him. Then he looked down at Sirius' legs.  
 _Merlin, he has nice legs! He has nice everything._  
Remus slowly put his hand on Sirius' thigh. "Padfoooot... wake uuuup..." he said in a sing-song voice.

Sirius still thought it was one of his nicer dreams. He didn't want to wake up, lest the dream ended.  
 _How nice. Continue._  
The hand slowly slid up his thigh to his waist.

"Padfoot!" Remus whispered. "Please wake up!"

Suddenly, there was a loud noise outside the room, and Sirius sat up with a jolt. James and Peter fell into the room, guffawing like madmen.

"That was excellent, by Jove," said Peter, holding his stomach. James couldn't even reply, he lowered himself to the ground and pounded the floor with his fist, unable to stop laughing.

"Oh my Godric, I can't breathe for laughing," said Remus sarcastically from beside the door, and that made Sirius wonder if the thing had just been a dream or had actually happened. He threw his duvet off and furiously snatched the muggle air horn out of James' hand.

The Marauders spent the rest of the week doing their homework. Mia and Monty were rather impressed to see the four boys working away diligently in the study.

"This is the first time I've seen James work more than an hour at a time," said Mia, bringing in a tray with four mugs of hot chocolate.

"That's because this is O.W.L's year, mum," said James.

"Also, we left all our homework till last minute," said Sirius, taking a mug. "Thank you."

"Sirius! I was trying to maintain a good impression here!" said James, poking Sirius with his quill.

"Ow!"

Peter snorted. "What impression? They're your parents, they already know everything."

"I knew it must've been something like that," said Monty.

"Merlin's top hat! This hot chocolate is amazing!" said Remus, taking a sip. "I just.." he didn't even finish his sentence, he just kept taking sips.

The Potters chuckled.

"Moony loves anything chocolate. I mean _anything_! He will even eat roast chicken covered in chocolate sprinkles," teased Sirius.

Everyone made noises of disgust and looked at Remus. He looked around at them. "I've never tried that, but maybe I will," he said, and they groaned again.

"No, Remus! You will not!" said James.

"It's a free country!" said Remus.

"But that should be illegal, it's a _crime_!" said Peter, with feeling. He was always passionate about food-related things.

"Well, it's not!" said Remus crossly.

"Remus, don't do it, I beg of you!" said James.

"Ask me anything else," said Remus.

"Okay, okay. How about I send up another mug of hot chocolate for everyone. How does that sound?" asked Mia nervously.

"YES!" they all shouted, and she hastily walked out of the study with her hands over her ears.

"Remus, I'll give you my mug too if you say you won't eat that monstrosity!" said James.

Remus grinned happily. "Okay." And everyone sighed with relief.

Couple of days later, Mr. Potter entertained everyone by playing the piano. He was very talented, and he even took requests. Sirius was fascinated. At Grimmauld Place, it was always so quiet and eerie. But here, it was always so bright and homely, and Mr. Potter played so well. He went to stand next to the piano to watch him play.

"Can you play the one you used to play me when I was younger, dad? The one about the hippogriffs?" asked James.

"God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs! Aww, Jamsie, I can't believe you remember that," said Mia, kissing his cheek.

"Muuum…" said James, wriggling away.

"Muuum!" the other Marauders imitated him.

"Shove off!" he told them loudly.

Monty laughed and started playing. James joined Sirius next to the piano and sang the song loudly. When Monty finished playing, they all clapped again.

"Thank you boys, thank you Mia," he said, getting to his feet. "I'll take a small break, do any one of you play?"

"Remus does!" said James, running over to Remus and pulling him to his feet.

"Nooo!" said Remus, his mouth still full of pie.

"Come on, Moony, play us something," James said.

Remus swallowed as he was being led to the piano. "I really only know one song…"

"Which song is it, Remus?" Monty asked him interestedly.

"Er, it's a muggle song from a movie called Cinderella," Remus said, sitting down next to James on the ornate piano bench.

"Excellent. I've never heard muggle music played on the piano before," said Monty.

"I really don't know it that well-"

"Oh come on, Moony, play it already. Or are you only willing to play for your Greek friend?" asked Sirius, smirking.

Remus gaped at him. "That was low, Sirius," he said, and turned to the piano and started playing. James and Sirius bumped their fists.

After he finished, everyone clapped. "Thanks," Remus said, looking around at the Potters.

"Short and sweet," said Mia.

Just then, someone's head appeared in the fireplace with a whoosh. The man had flowing curls, which glinted green and brown from different angles, and his face was rather wrinkly.

"Derek! Good to see you, my man!" said Monty, walking over to the fireplace.

"Is he wearing lipstick?" whispered Peter.

"I don't know," said Sirius, sniggering.

"Monty, Mia, how are you?" the man said, grinning broadly.

"Come through, Derek!" said Monty, and helped him out of the fireplace and into an armchair.

"That's Derek Nibley, old friend of dad's," said James, getting up to greet him. "Hi Derek."

"James! Good to see you! You've grown since I last saw you!" said Derek.

James grinned. "Derek, these are my friends, Peter, Sirius and Remus," he said, pointing at each of them. They said their hellos politely.

"Clever Prongs, not mentioning our last names," whispered Sirius, sitting down next to Remus on the bench. He knew the moment the name 'Black' would be mentioned, things would get awkward.

"Hmm," said Remus.

"By Cassandra of Troy, son, you look familiar!" said the man to Peter, who was surprised. "Have we met before?"

"Um, I don't think so, sir," replied Peter, politely.

"Hmm, you remind me of someone, I can't remember who," said the man.

"Er," said Peter.

"Anyway, I'm here to invite all of you to my granddaughter Inga's wedding!" he said, handing the Potters a shimmering gold Wedding card, and they exclaimed.

"But she's so young, isn't she only sixteen?" asked Mia, opening the card and reading it.

"Yes, yes, but the girl went and got herself knocked up. So we thought, why not, eh?" he said, laughing loudly.

The teenagers exchanged smirks.

"Who's the boy?" asked Monty.

"Apparently they're fishermen," said Derek, laughing again, and started telling them about the groom.

"So where did you learn to play that song?" Sirius asked Remus.

"I had to learn it for a church event in my old neighbourhood. I think I was seven when I learnt it," Remus said, grinning.

"I like it," said Sirius.

"Yeah, me too. The song's called, 'So, This is Love," said Remus. They smiled at each other.

"Don't you get confused with so many keys? How do you still remember it?" asked Sirius, turning to the piano.

"I'm not sure... muscle memory probably," Remus said, grinning again.

"That's insane, Moony."

"Not really, the black keys help you remember where you are playing on the piano," Remus said, showing him the keys.

"Oh."

"Pianos just have these sections of twelve keys, see," said Remus, continued. "Each key is named after an alphabet and they just repeat."

"Uh huh."

Remus chuckled at Sirius. "Its funny talking to you about pianos, Sirius," he said.

"Reggie and I were never allowed to learn musical instruments, apparently entertaining others is below us. It's always so boring at the House of Black," Sirius explained. "But you know what? I do think Narcissa learnt how to play the cello."

Remus smiled. "Wanna learn?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, I'll start at the middle C. Each section starts with a C, D, E, F, G, A, B," he said, playing each key simultaneously.

"What? That's so confusing. Why not start with A?" asked Sirius.

"I know, right? But that's the way it is," said Remus. "Music notes always end with a G, so it begins again."

"That's even more confusing," said Sirius, scratching his head.

"Ignore the theory. You start on that section," Remus said, pointing at the previous section.

"Okay," said Sirius.

"Place your finger here, look, this is the C below the middle C, it's just on a lower octave. Got it?" said Remus.

Sirius played the key and grinned.

"Play the same key I play," said Remus, and he played C again, Sirius played the C on his section. Then D, then E and so on, all the while, grinning at each other.

Then Remus tried to teach him how to play chords, which he didn't get at all. "Fine. Put your fingers on mine," he said, and Sirius obeyed, and Remus showed him a couple of chords. "See," he said, playing three keys at once. "That's a D minor chord, got it?"

"I guess," said Sirius.

"Play a D minor then," said Remus, and Sirius played it, but wrongly.

"Ugh, a minor is reverse of that, Sirius," said Remus, correcting his fingers. Sirius couldn't concentrate at all. Every time Remus touched him, it was stirring, to say the least.

"Remus, I-" Sirius began, but then he started giggling.

"What?" asked Remus, removing his fingers off of Sirius's.

"No," said Sirius, seizing Remus's hand. "Show me again." Remus smiled at him. Then he nodded and was just about to show Sirius what a D major was, when -

"Guys! Did you hear that?!" said Peter, plonking his head on Sirius's shoulder. "He knows my aunt! He says I look exactly like my aunt Phillipa!"

"That's nice, Peter. Where does your aunt live?" asked Remus, letting go of Sirius's hand again. Sirius pouted.

"In Ireland, the one I just visited!" said Peter happily. There was a sound of great laughter from behind them, and they turned around.

"Come on, boys. Time for lunch," said Mia, motioning to them.

 _Perfect._

The next day, the boys worked hard all day, and took a break in the evening. Everyone sat in the parlour eating grapes. They were from the Potters' own estate, and Sirius loved them. He had a big bowl of his own. Remus was helping Peter finish the last of his -fig questions, and so Sirius was handing him grapes.  
Mia and Monty were discussing about changing the wallpaper of the parlour, when Monty spotted something peculiar. He nudged Mia and pointed at Sirius. Sirius would bite off half a grape, sometimes he would give the other half to Remus, and sometimes, he would pop it into his mouth. They looked at each other, mystified.

"Sirius dear, what are you doing?" asked Mia, in the end.

"Eating grapes?" he replied, looking puzzled. He gave another half grape to Remus.

"That. Why are you doing that? Why are you giving him only half a grape?" she asked him.

"Remus doesn't like sour things," he said simply.

"What?" she asked.

"He doesn't like sour things, mum. Sirius gives him only the sweet ones," James explained, like it was no big deal. Mia and Monty were astonished, but they tried not to show it. They exchanged looks.

"And you're okay with eating all the sour ones?" she asked him.

"I do eat some sweet ones too… What's so strange about this?" he asked, looking around. Remus was staring at him as if he was seeing him for the first time.

"What?" asked Sirius, puzzled again.

" _Sirius!_ " said Remus, still looking at him with that expression.

"Quit looking at me like that!" said Sirius.

"Quit giving me only the sweet grapes!" Remus told him. Mia and Monty glanced at each other again, their eyebrows raised.

"What... I don't mind," said Sirius, smiling slightly.

"Is there anything else you do, that I don't know about?" he asked Sirius, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing," Sirius said immediately and Remus raised an eyebrow.

"You mean like how, when you always kick your shoes and socks off at the end of the day, Sirius always searches around the dorm for them and puts them back near your dresser, ready for you to wear the next day?" asked James immediately.

"What!" said Remus, grinning at Sirius.

"Shut up!" Sirius said loudly, throwing a handful of grapes at James, who was chortling. Then he turned to Remus. "I've- I've never don't that… I don't know what he's talking about!" he said quickly.

James laughed again. "Every single day," he continued, nodding at Remus. "Or how he always-"

"Or how I'll be stuffing those socks in your mouth next time!" Sirius threatened James, and the Potters laughed.

"Moony, just say thanks," said Peter.

"Thanks," Remus said, staring at Sirius.  
 _He does that for me?_

 _"_ Now, the quotient, Remus, can we get back to it? What is the quotient in this case…" Peter asked, pulling on Remus's sleeve.

Remus tore his eyes away from Sirius's and went back to the assignment. Mia and Monty saw Sirius shoot a venomous look at a sniggering James, and smirked at each other. They knew exactly what was going on.

* * *

 **Author's note: I got the idea for the sour grapes scene from the Hindu epic _Ramayana_ (Gotta give credit where it's due, right? hehe).**

 **CarolPotterhead, your reviews have touched my heart. Much love.**


	42. Blueberry Juice

**Author's note: If you are bulimic or have a history of bulimia, I suggest you don't read this chapter, as it may be triggering. Message me and I'll let you know what happens xx  
Also, someone asked me how often I update, (a guest review) I upload a new chapter everyday :) :)  
**

* * *

"Gentlemen," said James importantly. "I suggest we finish this essay tonight, so we have the last day free."

Remus nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!"

"No matter how late we stay up," said Peter, trying not to sound too disappointed. He was sleepy.

"Okay," said Sirius.

"I'll go tell Tally to bring us some coffee," said James, and left the study.

"Must be really fun to have house elves, right?" said Peter.

"Yeah," said Remus, grinning. "I wish I had a house elf at home to do all the cooking. Then mum and dad wouldn't have to work so hard. But dad says they only come with manor houses and such."

"You have house elves, right, Sirius?" said Peter.

"We don't have three, we have one," said Sirius, frowning and rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, Kreacher, right?" said Peter.

"Yes, mainly cos Grimmauld Place isn't as big as this one. The house Bella and Cissy live at is as big as this one, I guess. I think they have two there. Kreacher hates me, though. He never does anything I ask."

"How can he hate you?! You're the heir!" said Peter, surprised.

"It doesn't matter. He spends too much time with mum and picks things up, and thinks everything she says is the Gospel truth… even father doesn't tell him off! Oh, he's so annoying, I don't want to talk about him!" said Sirius.

"Okay, okay, calm down," said Peter and patted his arm.

Remus was about to say something, but then his sensitive nose picked up the scent of some strange concoction.

"Hi," said James two minutes later, announcing his return. He came bearing a tray of four tiny glass cups and a teapot. "Apparently, mum has forbidden the house elves from giving us any coffee, _It's not good for children..._ so Tally made us some maté to drink."

"Maté? What is it?" asked Peter.

"It's a herbal infusion, sort of like tea, but it has caffeine in it," James explained, opening the lid of the teapot to inhale its scent. "It comes all the way from Peru."

"Smells weird," said Remus.

"Won't taste all that good either if you're not used to it, but dad says it's stronger but less addictive than coffee," said James. "You lads want to try it?"

"Sure," said Peter. "Otherwise I know I'll fall asleep."

James poured the hot drink into the cups and gave it to them.

Sirius took a sip and smiled. "I like it."

"I would like it too if it didn't have such a strong aroma," said Remus.

"Okay, I officially hate it, but I'm gonna drink it anyway to stay awake," said Peter, and downed the drink like a shot of Pinnock's gigglewater.

"Pete, it's hot!" exclaimed James.

"Are you alright?!" asked Sirius.

"I'm fine," said Peter and smiled.

The next afternoon, four extremely drowsy teenagers walked down to the dining room for lunch. Monty and Mia chuckled at their sleepy faces.  
"Just some sandwiches today," said Mia. "I thought I'd give the house elves the day off. They've worked so hard, the past few days."

"Not a problem at all," said Sirius, and the others nodded. "As long as there's the blueberry juice!"

"Blueberry juice?" asked Remus, looking into his goblet.

"Yes, it's a house special. We love blueberry juice," said Mr. Potter.

Remus took a sip from his goblet. "Yum," he said, and the Potters beamed.

"Did you make these sandwiches, Mrs. Potter? They are delicious!" said Peter.

"Thank you, honey," said Mia. "It's the horseradish mayonnaise, Jani is a sauces and condiments' expert."

Halfway through lunch, Remus felt a little itch in his throat. He took a sip of the blueberry juice and cleared his throat. Everything seemed fine. So, he took another bite of the sandwich and the itch returned in full measure. He swallowed and cleared his throat again. The Marauders looked at him anxiously. He looked back at them. Then he took a sip of the juice again. And then, he examined the bread.  
 _Don't tell me this bread is made of rye..._

"Oh, fuck!" said Sirius, who was watching him.

"Sirius!" said Mia, scandalised. She highly disapproved of such strong language.

Remus cleared his throat again; his heart was starting to pound out of anxiety.

"Are you by any chance, allergic to blueberries, dear?" Mia asked him.

"Blueberries? No, he loves…" Then James realised.  
 _The freaking rye bread! How could I have been so careless?!_

Remus felt a little dizzy, his throat was still super itchy. He screwed his eyes shut and shook his head. Sirius panicked and picked up the jug of blueberry juice and splashed it on Remus' face.

"Sirius!" everyone shouted, but it helped Remus come back to consciousness completely. He coughed and coughed.

"You need to vomit it out!" said James. He pulled the werewolf up and dragged him to the toilet.

Remus leaned over the toilet seat. "How the fuck am I supposed to make myself-*cough* *cough*- myself vomit?!" he asked hoarsely.

"Put your fingers in your throat, it triggers the gag reflex!" said Sirius.

"What!"

"Seriously, try it," said Peter.

Remus just stared at him.

"Do like this," Sirius, taking Remus's two longest fingers and pushing them into his mouth.

After many tries, Remus finally managed to puke most of the rye sandwich out, and the coughing and itching finally stopped. All the while, the Potters watched them worriedly from the doorway. James was disappointed in himself. It had been his responsibility to care for his guests, that was what his dad had told him. But he had failed.  
 _Poor Remus._

Sirius slowly helped Remus up. "How do you feel?"

Remus smiled. "Fine now," he said, nodding. He walked over to the sink and splashed some water on his face, when he heard the whispered conversation in the next room. He thought he shouldn't listen in, until he heard the word 'allergic'. He closed the tap and listened.

"What do you mean you don't know, James? You were the one who told him to vomit it out, you clearly know what it is, he's allergic to! How am I supposed to tell the house elves what ingredients to avoid if you won't tell me what it is?" Mrs Potter was saying.

"Mum-"

"There aren't many ingredients in the sandwich either," said Mr Potter. (Remus tensed.)

"Unless he was allergic to the blueberries," said Mrs. Potter.

"Yes, that's right, it was the juice!" said James.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked Remus, noticing his expression in the mirror, but Remus shushed him.

"But the juice cleared his throat, I saw it clearly," Mr. Potter.

"No, no, it was the juice," James tried, but it was of no use.

"And he ate the same cheese yesterday, so it's not that," said Mrs. Potter.

"With these limited ingredients, the only logical explanation is that Remus had an allergic reaction to the bread," Mr. Potter declared.

There was a brief silence.

"They know!" Remus whispered to Sirius.

"What?" asked Sirius, but he already knew the answer.

"He's allergic to rye, huh? Is he also allergic to monkshood, James?" she asked rather rudely.

"You must be joking, mum," said James, fake-smiling.

"Don't lie to us, James, don't pretend you didn't know," said Mr. Potter sternly.

"It's not like that, he's a good person, he'd never hurt a fly!" James was saying. (Remus's heart pounded.) "Tell them, Peter!"

"It's true, Mrs. Potter, he's the gentlest person you'd ever meet," Peter said.

"How dare you, James. How dare you bring a dark creature into our home, and not even tell me?" she asked him.

Peter stared at her, speechless.

"Mum, stop calling him that. He's an angel, I swear-"

"Oh, you swear, do you? Hmm, okay then, let us all forget about what happened to little Dorothy, shall we?"

"Mum, Dorothy got savaged by a crazy werewolf. Remus isn't like that!"

And Remus didn't want to hear it anymore.  
 _This is terrible, I'm standing in the house of a family who have been personally affected by werewolves.  
_ "This is bad," he said to Sirius. "I have to go."

"No, what? Wait-" said Sirius, grabbing his arm.

"I have to go now!" he said, backing away from Sirius.

"No, you don't have to, just wait. James?" Sirius called for his best friend.

"Sirius, they don't want me here."

"That's nonsense, Moony. James! Prongs, get over here!" Sirius called again, walking out of the bathroom and turning towards the corridor.

"THIS IS EXACTLY THE REASON I DIDN'T TELL YOU! I KNEW YOU WOULD REACT LIKE THIS!" Sirius heard James shout. Then there was silence.

Sirius turned around to look at Remus, but he wasn't there. _Oh no, where did he go?!  
_ "Remus? Remus!" he called, looking around. He searched the bathroom, and all the rooms nearby. He went back to the bathroom to find all three Potters and Peter there. They were looking around.

"Padfoot, where's Moony?" asked James, dreading the answer.

"I can't find him!"

"Weren't you keeping any eye on him?!" asked James, pushing Sirius away in frustration.

"James, don't do that!" said Monty.

"Where the hell is Remus, Sirius?" Peter asked.

"I took my eyes off of him for _a second._ He heard you guys talk, he said, 'they don't want me here'," said Sirius, looking away.

"Oh no! I didn't want this! The poor child, how he must have felt when he heard that!" said Mia, wringing her hands.

"You were in shock, Mia. It's not as if you said it on purpose," Monty consoled her. "Jani, Terry, Tally!" he summoned the house elves.

The appeared with three consecutive pops and bowed to him.

"Search the entire house and grounds for Remus. We need to find him urgently," he ordered them.

"Master Moony is missing? But Jani is seeing him," Jani replied.

"Where?! Where did you see him?" asked Sirius, falling to his knees in front of her.

Remus crawled out of the fireplace in his living room. He was back home. Hope heard the noise of the Floo fire and walked into the living room. Remus crawled out of the fireplace, face covered in soot and his expression grave. "Mum, where's dad?" he asked.

"Remus, what happened?" she asked him.

"The Potters found out about me, they know!" he told her, getting to his feet.

"That you're a… a…"

"That I'm a werewolf. You can say the _word_ , mum!" replied Remus, annoyed. "Where's dad?"

"He's at the Ministry. He had to go into work today," she told him patiently.

"I don't know what to do! What if they report me?!"

"I've spoken to Mia and Monty, they seem like sensible people. I don't think they'll do that," she said.

"Mum, you didn't hear them, I think they hate werewolves! Someone in their family was attacked."

"Oh. I'll owl your father!" and Hope ran into the study to do just that.

Remus expected himself to panic like he did when Lily had found out, but he felt oddly calm. It was too weird.  
 _What's the worst that could happen if they reported me? I'll have to get registered… And I won't be allowed to attend Hogwarts anymore. Oh no._

Hope returned to the living room, but Remus was nowhere to be found. She checked his bedroom. He was lying flat on the ground, hands on the back of his neck, trying to breathe properly.

"Remus!" she knelt down beside him and shook him. "Remus, get up. It's okay, nothing's gonna happen! Remus, look at me! Please."

"I'm fine, mum," he said, looking up at her. "I'm just thinking- what if the Ministry find out that I've been attending Hogwarts illegally? They're bound to find out! And that will get a whole bunch of people into trouble... you two, Professor Dumbledore, the teachers... this can't happen."

"Remus, the Potters won't tell anyone!" Hope told him sternly.

Back at the Estate, Jani nodded at Sirius. "Master Moony run in the direction of the parlour earlier. Would you like Jani to go searching?" she asked.

James shot off towards the parlour, and Sirius and Peter followed him. Mr. and Mrs. Potter followed at a more sedate pace, accompanied by the house elves. The boys looked around the parlour, Then they also searched the Study, which was right next to the parlour, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Er, lads…" said Peter, looking at the fireplace in the parlour. The other two walked over. "He might have gone home, you know," he said. James checked the Floo powder tin, as if that would confirm their guess.

"Got a clue, James?" asked Monty.

"Peter thinks he might've gone home, dad," he replied.

Monty sighed. "Poor kid, he must have felt awful."

"James, why ever did you not tell us? Do you not trust us?" asked Mia.

James hesitated a bit, and Mia and Monty shared looks. "I guess I behaved in a way you expected me to behave," she said.

James sighed. "It's more than that, mum. These aren't my secrets to tell, I don't have any secrets from you two," he told them. "But when my friends tell me things, I don't tell anyone. Isn't that what you always tell me, dad? That I must never break people's trust."

"Yes, I do," said Monty, nodding.

"Remus wouldn't have been happy if I had told you..." said James. "I hope he's okay."

"He'll be terrified, he'll think you'll report him to the Ministry," Peter told them.

"Oh no," said Mia.

"Yeah, he's really paranoid," said James.

"Er, you won't report him, will you?" asked Peter nervously.

"Of course not! I- ugh, I wish I never said those things…" Mia said, shaking her head.

Sirius said nothing. He didn't trust himself to speak. He knew if he opened his mouth, he would start yelling at everyone.

"We have to go talk to him, dad," said James, picking up the Floo powder tin again.

"No, James. I think it's best if we do the talking," said Monty, taking the tin from his son.

"But dad, you don't know Moony. He'll be really-" James said worriedly.

"He's really sensitive in these kind of situations," Peter nodded.

"We understand, boys. I promise I'll be sensible, we'll have to talk to his parents as well," Monty said.

"You boys stay here," said Mia.

"What! But mum-"

"We'll bring him back."

The boys watched as the Potters walked out of the parlour.

The fireplace in the Lupins' living room burst into green flames again, and Lyall Lupin appeared. He dusted the ash off his clothes and ran to his son's room. "What the hell happened?!" he asked, walking in.

Remus stood up quickly. "I'm sorry, dad! I didn't do it on purpose!"

Hope stood up as well.

"What did you do, Remus?" Lyall asked.

"I accidentally ate some rye and had an allergic reaction," Remus answered, bracing himself.

"What! How could you have been so careless!" Lyall yelled. "You know how dangerous this is going to be!"

"Lyall, it was an accident-" Hope started to say.

" _We_ can't afford accidents, Hope! We are not a normal family!"

Remus felt awful. It was all his fault.

"If they report us, I could be jailed! Sent to Azkaban! And Remus won't be allowed to go to school!" yelled Lyall.

Lyall moved closer to his son. "Remus, how could you be so careless?!" he shouted again, shaking him.

"Dad…"

"Who else was there when it happened?!"

"Only the Potters! And... my friends."

"Who are these friends?"

"James, Sirius and Peter, dad! I've told you about them-"

"What! So they know as well?"

"Dad, they already knew!"

"Remus, you've told your friends already?!" asked Hope.

"I didn't tell them, they're my roommates and they figured it out-"

"What do you mean, they figured it out? You're being careless at school too?! WHO ELSE KNOWS?!"

Remus decided he wouldn't tell the truth.  
 _That Lily, and Alice and Frank, and Marlene know as well. And Severus of course, Holy Hippogriffs, if dad finds out..._

But his silence seemed to speak for itself and Lyall totally lost it. He raised his hand to slap his son, and Remus flinched and shut his eyes.

"LYALL!" screamed Hope and caught the hand before it landed. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I just hope it's not people from Regulation and Control…" said Lyall, immediately regretting his actions, and awkwardly left the room to open the front door. Hope followed him worriedly.

Remus sat down on the floor and put his head on his knees.  
 _Can't believe he nearly hit me.  
_ He heard voices coming from the hallway, but he didn't want to know what was going on. He covered his ears tightly with his hands. Around ten or fifteen minutes later, Remus felt someone close by, but he didn't dare look.  
 _Who is it? Ministry workers? The MLE squad?  
_ But he only smelled his parents and the Potters. They tried to wrench his hands away from his ears, but he didn't let them. He didn't think he was ready to hear what any one of them had to say. He heard his dad call his name a couple of times, but he ignored it. Finally, he felt his mother's gentle hand brush his hair and couldn't help but look up. _  
_He slowly removed his hands from his ears. "I'm sorry," he immediately said to them.

"Remus, you don't have to apologise for anything," said Mia gently, kneeling beside him. "In fact, I'm the one who should be apologising…"

"It's alright," said Remus. "You don't have to say that. You don't have to worry, I'll not come to your house again-"

"Remus, there is no need for that. You are welcome at our house. We know how it might have sounded, but we have no problem with you," Mr. Potter told him.

"I'm really sorry, Remus. I know I said some things, but I didn't mean them, I was only surprised, I overreacted," Mrs. Potter said to him, taking his hands.

"Mrs. Potter, it's alright. I can understand. I'll just stay here, there's only one night left to go back to school anyway," he told her.

"No, you're not. Look son," he said, glancing at his wife and back. "We know you, and from what James has told us about you, you're rather kind and forgiving. Do you have it in your heart to forgive an old couple?"

"Such big words... there's nothing to forgive, Mr. Potter, I understand," he said, holding Mrs. Potter's hands.

She smiled and patted his cheek. "So, will you come back to the Estate with us? You did promise to stay with us for the whole week," she asked, smiling at him.

Remus looked at his mother, and it seems she understood how he was feeling. He couldn't get the way Mrs. Potter had said, ' _Dark creature_ ' out of his head.

"Remus," said his mother, sitting down beside him. "Sometimes people act instinctively, but it may not be directly because of you... everyone has their own messy past... you mustn't judge them so harshly." But Remus didn't look convinced.

"The boys are waiting for you," said Monty, grinning.

"Yeah, okay," Remus finally said, and everyone smiled.

Later that night, the boys were sat on the giant Turkish rug in James' room, playing gobstones. "Who's Dorothy, Prongs?" asked Remus.

"Dorothy was one of my cousins, Danielle and Albert's older sister. This happened a long time ago, I wasn't even born yet. She and her parents were in the Netherlands on holiday, and she got attacked by a werewolf there. She died because of her injuries," James told them.

"That's terrible, James," said Peter.

James nodded. "She was barely four."

"I can understand why your mother had such a reaction, her first instinct would have been to protect you," said Remus, nodding.

"I asked her if Dorothy had survived and had become a werewolf, would she have reacted the same way, and that's when she got it," James said.

Remus nodded.

"Remus, these are the people who raised me, they're broad-minded, trust me. Dad was saying earlier, that if Dorothy had grown up as a werewolf, she would have been just like you," James told him.

Remus finally smiled. "That's really touching, James."

"Did you tell them that their pianist at the New Year's Eve party was a werewolf too?" asked Peter and James chuckled.

"I did, they were quite surprised," he said. Sirius and Remus glanced at each other.

"So, _Moony_... What happened between you two, anyway? Did you hit it off?" asked James.

"What?!" Remus asked quickly.

"I'm talking about Nyctimus. Who did _you_ think I was talking about?" James asked, smirking scarily.


	43. Nose hairs

**Warnings: Blood, gore.**

* * *

"Oh," said Remus, glancing at James.  
 _I should've known he would ask._  
"Er, I don't know," he said, hugging a cushion. "This pillow is very soft."

"That's a cushion," Sirius informed him.

"You can't change the topic, Moony. Tell us. Wait, you're gay?" asked Peter, hesitating for a moment and one of the gobstones squirted him with putrid smelling liquid. The others laughed.

Remus panicked. "No!" he told them. James and Sirius exchanged looks.

"He did confess he likes me, though," said Remus after a while, and Peter gasped.

"What did you tell him?" asked James.

"Nothing," he said, and the others chuckled.

"I mean, come on, look at me," he continued, aiming a gobstone. "I'm not the type to run away with travelling musicians now, am I?"

The boys chuckled. "Well, you never know until you try," said James, and Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. "I mean, living the life of adventure, travelling to new and exotic places. It sounds good to me."

"Then why don't you run away with him, Prongs?" said Peter, giggling. His face was still covered in goo. No one bothered to vanish it.

"What can I say, Wormtail? I don't see him that way," James told him.

"Neither do I," said Remus. He looked up to see James and Sirius exchange doubtful looks again.  
 _Oh boy. What have I done?_ _  
_"Yes, he would always be the one that got away, I guess," he added, and Peter giggled again. Sirius was now utterly confused.

"How do you know that gag reflex thing, Sirius?" Remus asked.

"One time when I was ten, I played this prank on my grandmother Melania," said Sirius. "It wasn't even that awful, it was just a potion that turned her hair blue. It went back to normal after the potion's effects wore off. But she thought she'd get back at me, so she joked that she was going to poison my dinner. Everyone laughed, including me. But after dinner that night, I was itchy all over and I freaked out, thinking she'd actually poisoned me. So, I thought I needed to throw up, and I did that."

"She poisoned you?!" asked Peter, horrified.

Sirius chuckled. "She'd gotten Kreacher to put itching powder in my sheets," he told them, and they burst out laughing.

"I can't believe someone got one over Sirius Black!" said James, wiping his eyes.

"It was the only time!" said Sirius loudly.

"This is gold!" said Remus, his cheeks pink with laughter. Sirius rolled his eyes and just waited until they all calmed down.

"Bet you never messed with her again," Peter said, and they laughed again.

"Grand prank master!" said Remus.

"Wait a second. Sirius, if you have such a sensitive gag reflex, how are you going to manage deepthroating?" asked James, laughing. The other two laughed harder.

"Shut the hell up!" yelled Sirius, punching James. Then he started laughing too.

"Wait, now _you're_ gay?!" asked Peter.

"James is gay!" yelled Sirius and the other three laughed again.

"Why is almost every conversation here, ending up slightly homoerotic?!" asked Peter, holding his stomach.

"Not that I'm complaining," muttered Remus.

"You started it!" yelled James.

"Me?!" yelped Peter.

"Slumber party entertainment? Hello?" said Sirius.

"James, you're gay? You didn't tell us," they heard someone say, and whipped around. It was Mia. She was grinning.

"Mum, I'm not gay," James said, annoyed. "It was a joke." The others sniggered.

"Really? We don't mind, you know," said Monty, walking in behind her. They sniggered again.

"I'm serious, I'm not gay!" he said crossly.

Sirius chuckled. _I'm Sirius and I'm gay._

"He's not, Mrs. Potter," said Remus sincerely. "He's totally head over heels in love with one Ms. Lily Evans." Sirius and Peter laughed, and James was highly nettled.

"I am not!"

"That's interesting, I would like to know more about this Lily," said Monty, grinning at Mia.

"There's nothing. It's nothing," James tried. "And I'd appreciate it if you would knock before entering my room!"

"The door was wide open, Jamesie," said Monty.

"I'll tell you about Lily next time," Remus promised the Potters.

"No one is telling anyone anything, there's nothing to tell! Remus, you'll keep your mouth shut!" James yelled. The boys laughed again.

"We are just here to tell you that it is time for bed," said Mia. "I know you lads have been staying up late to work for the past few days, but you need to get back to sleeping at a proper time again."

The Marauders looked at each other. Mr. and Mrs. Potter didn't need to know that they rarely slept on time at school.

"Of you go now, boys," said Monty, vanishing the goo off of Peter's face.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter!" said Peter, getting to his feet. "Goodnight!" he told them and walked out of the room.

"Sweet dreams, Jamesie," said Remus, smirking, and left, but not before he heard James growling.

"James, stop growling. You are not a dog," said Monty.

"No, he is," James said, pointing at Sirius.

"I am, I'm very Sirius," said Sirius, grinning.

Monty and Mia shook their heads and left. James and Sirius grinned at each other.

Then Sirius' grin sagged. "James, he said he's not gay," he said, in an almost inaudible whisper.

"Yeah, I don't know why he said that," James replied. Then, he sighed, rubbing his face. "This has gone on long enough, Pads. You need to tell him how you feel."

"How can I tell him that after what he _just said_?!" said Sirius. "What if he's really not, and I tell him, and it changes our friendship forever? Imagine he's always scared, I'll molest him or something?"

"Oh, come on, Padfoot, he'll never think that. He's so broad minded, you heard him explain about gender and stuff," said James.

"Ha, see! Even you think there might be a chance he's not! And this broad mindedness usually sounds good in theory, but it's different when you practise it."

"Sirius-"

"You'll have to confirm with Evans," said Sirius.

"I can't do that anymore. Not after the balloon incident," replied James. "Which was all your fault, by the way! Serves you right!"

Sirius groaned. "Fine! I'll ask Marlene, to ask Evans, to ask Remus, shall I?!"

"Sweet Mother-in-law of Merlin, Sirius! _That is ridiculous!_ "

"But I want to snog him already," said Sirius.

"James groaned. "Then ask him yourself, for crying out loud. Also, I didn't need to know- about the snogging."

"But James, are you sure-"

"You go talk to him right now, Padfoot, otherwise I'll hex your ears again."

Mrs. Potter was back. "You boys can talk tomorrow. I honestly don't know what more there is to talk, you practically spend every waking moment together. Sirius, bed. Now," she ordered.

Sirius stood up and walked towards the door, then he turned back to look at James. James gave Sirius a stern but meaningful look, and then he finally left.

Mia smiled at her son. "Did you like having all your friends over?" she asked.

"Yeah! It was great, thanks, mum," he said.

"Yes, I'm glad Remus' family moved closer to us, now he can visit whenever he wants to," she said.

James nodded.

"You know, your dad was saying yesterday that maybe over the summer, all of us can take a trip somewhere."

"That sounds amazing!"

Mia chuckled. "Nothing is finalised, so don't tell your friends yet."

"Of course."

"And it depends on you O.W.L results too, so I want you to do well."

"I'll get an O in all ten subjects," said James, grinning.

Mia chuckled again. "Better start working hard then."

Sirius didn't go back to his room. He went and knocked on Remus' door. He heard a faint 'come in,' and turned the knob, and walked in. Remus was curled up under his covers, he looked very comfortable. Sirius chuckled.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Nothing, I just came to check on you, are you okay?" Sirius asked, sitting down beside Remus.

Remus smiled. "I'm fine, I just felt terrible when Mrs. Potter mentioned Dorothy getting attacked by a werewolf, I felt like I shouldn't be here."

"But that wasn't you."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry for running away like that, I feel silly now."

"Nothing you do is usually silly, but yeah. That was pretty silly," said Sirius, grinning. "And you should stop running away like that." Remus smiled.

Sirius bent a little closer to Remus and brushed his hair off of his forehead and looked into his eyes. _I could just kiss you._

Remus blinked at Sirius. _Kiss me._

Mia straightened some pillows on James' bed. "Got your trunk packed?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Did you remember to pack those bustard quills, Danielle got for you from Nepal?"

"Oops, no," said James and chuckled. He walked over to his chest of drawers and took the quills out.

"So, what's bothering him?" Mia asked, as she packed the quills for him.

"Who?"

"Sirius. I saw that look on his face. Something's bothering him, what is it?"

"Er, I can't tell you. But it's nothing big, really, it's silly..."

"Do you think he'll tell me if I asked him?"

"Probably not. But you can try," said James, grinning at his mother.

"Well, okay, maybe I will. Put your pyjamas on," Mia told James, and left the room. She didn't close the door, indicating she would be back, so he just changed into his pyjamas and waited for her.

Mia knocked on Sirius' door, but she didn't get a response, so she opened the door and looked around, he wasn't there.

"You look very cosy," Sirius said to Remus. "I have half a mind to join you…"

"You can if you want," Remus said, giving him a small smile. "But, if you keep saying things like that, one might get the wrong idea..."

Sirius chuckled. "Is it a _wrong_ idea, though?" he asked.

Remus shrugged casually. "Wrong idea or right, the Buddha said that an idea that is developed and put into action, is more important than an idea that exists merely as an idea."

Sirius smiled at Remus. He just loved the way Remus talked, he could probably just listen to him talk forever. Even his hint was so insouciant, yet so direct.  
 _Could you be in love with a person's brain?_  
He looked down, his hand was inches away from Remus'.  
 _Maybe I'll just…_

"Sirius!" they heard someone say and looked over at the door. "When I said bed, I meant your own, not Remus'," said Mia, crossing her arms.

Remus glanced at Sirius as he stood up. _No, don't go._

"Fiiine…" said Sirius. _I don't want to go_ _._

"You are very bossy," he told Mia as he passed her, and she raised an eyebrow.

"I mean to be, _and_ I enjoy it," she replied, and he gasped, pretending to be appalled. She grinned at him.

"Are you alright, dear?" he heard her ask Remus as he walked back to his room.

"Yes, Mrs. Potter," Remus replied, smiling at her.

"Sleep well, then, goodnight," she said.

"Goodnight!" he replied, and she closed the door behind her and walked over to Sirius' room. He was sitting on his bed, deep in thought.

"Sirius, are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah! I'm great," he replied.

"Are you sure?" she asked, as he got under the covers.

"Yes, yes."

"You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you, right?" she said, tucking him in.

Sirius smiled at her. "Thank you," he mumbled.

 _Right. So, he won't tell me anything now._  
"Did you like spending Christmas here?" she asked him.

"Of course, I loved it! Best Christmas ever!" he said delightedly.

"Well, that's good, then. Come back any time you want, it was so much fun having you around," she said.

"Thanks, Mrs. Potter."

Okay. Now, Sirius, I want you to sleep. Do you understand?" she said, and he grinned and nodded.  
She gave him a small kiss on his forehead and left. Sirius fell asleep quickly and happily.

"Found him in Remus' room," she said, walking into James' room again.

"Oh yeah?" he asked her, grinning. "What were they doing?"

"Talking. I've just tucked him into his own bed," she said, tucking him in as well, and James chuckled.

"Mum, why do you always tuck me in? I'm not a child anymore," he said. "Do you just love tucking people in?"

"You'll always be my child," she said, kissing him on his forehead. "Besides, I only get to do this now, tomorrow you'll be back at school."

"Aw, mum! I love you."

"Love you, too, sweetheart, goodnight."

"Goodnight, mum."

Remus closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He remembered how Sirius said he wanted to sleep next to him, and chuckled to himself. He couldn't believe he'd said that.  
 _He is crazy._  
Then he remembered how little Dorothy had been savaged by a werewolf... he remembered James' voice, 'She was barely four...'  
 _Poor thing. Poor parents!_  
Then he remembered Mrs. Potter calling him a dark creature. He knew she hadn't meant it, that it was just a word... He sighed. Nyctimus had said that people were either curious or ignorant when they used words like that. But there was also the reality that werewolves were actually dangerous, there was a reason they were called dark creatures... a reason they were placed on the same level of evilness as other hideous creatures like dementors... or inferi. Remus shuddered.  
And it was with all these thoughts that he fell asleep.

When he woke up to the sound of bird song, he was back in his dorm, but he didn't think it odd at all. He sat up, pushed his curtain open a tiny bit with his fingers, and saw from the sky outside through the window that it was just daybreak. He smiled to himself as he realised Sirius was lying next to him, hoarding the covers. Only his hair was visible at the top.

"Sirius," he whispered, nudging him gently. No response. Then he smelled it. The blood. He smelled it so strongly, he could even taste it in his mouth. He threw the covers off Sirius' face and froze. Sirius' neck and chest were mangled, there was blood everywhere, he could see through the flesh to the bone. He could clearly see bits of the collar bone. His face was freakishly pale, eyes open and unseeing. Remus swallowed fearfully and tasted blood in his mouth again. He'd done it! He'd killed Sirius. Remus gasped.

Gasping for air, he actually woke up this time. " _Fuck!_ " he whispered out loud, still breathing with difficulty.  
 _Dream…! Just a nightmare._ _  
_He flung the covers off and walked down the stairs and sat down on the bottom-most step. He stayed there until he heard sounds of the household waking up. Today, they'd go back to Hogwarts.  
 _Thank Merlin._  
This had been quite an eventful Christmas holiday, and he was ready to get back to the monotony of learning-eating-studying-sleeping for a while.

On the train, he spent as much time as possible, in the Prefects' carriage. For some reason, he didn't feel like hanging with the boys. He spent over an hour talking to Lily and Antoine about the new potion out in the market, Sleekeazy's Hair potion. Lily was most amazed to hear that James' dad had invented it.

"That's brilliant!" she exclaimed.

When it was time to go back to the Marauders' compartment, they were discussing ways to prank the Slytherins as he entered.

"Have you ever heard of bulbadox powder?" Peter asked them.

"No, what is it?" asked Sirius enthusiastically.

"It's a powder, when it comes into contact with skin, makes the person break out in boils," Peter told them with relish.

"I'd love to sprinkle some of that on Macnair," said James.

"Still on that, are you?" said Remus, grinning.

"What do you mean by that?" asked James.

"I think we should just leave the Slytherins alone," Remus told him.

"Well I think we should prank them," said James.

Remus laughed. "You lot are so childish!" he said and opened the compartment door. "I'll be back, just making a round."

"Do you two get the feeling he's acting a bit odd?" said Peter.

"Must be something you did, Sirius!" said James crossly.

"I did nothing, I swear," said Sirius. "He was fine, last night."

"Hmm."

"He could at least have shut the door," said Peter, standing up.

Just then, the trolley lady arrived. "Anything off the trolley, dears?"

James and Peter bought some pumpkin pasties, but Sirius didn't buy anything. He went over the conversation he'd had with Remus last night, wondering where he'd gone wrong.

As Remus made his way to Lily's compartment, he accidentally bumped into Maeve Bletchley, a seventh year Slytherin.

"Oh, sorry," he said.

"Yeah, you better be, scar-face!" she yelled. Her friends laughed unkindly.

"Riddle me this, Lupin, why do you have so many scars?" asked Seymour Nott.

Remus had no patience to take the high road. "You'll know the answer to that when I punch you and your girlfriend asks you why you have a black eye," he replied.

Bletchley screwed up her mouth in anger. "You better watch your mouth, Lupin," she said. Apparently, she was Nott's girlfriend.

"Sweet Salazar, you are actually so ugly from up close," said Nott, looking at the scar that travelled across Remus' nose.

"Maybe you should trim your nose hairs before calling someone else ugly," Remus replied, and the Slytherin students sniggered, despite it being Remus who had said that.

Nott blushed and covered his nose with his hand. "Fuck off, Lupin" he said.

Suddenly, Mulciber, who was standing in the back of the group, squealed loudly and clutched his waist. His face was rapidly turning red.

"What happened to you, Nef?" Bletchley asked him, with concern.

Mulciber just shook his head and ran away.

"You know, I was in the library the other day," said Sirius, appearing out of nowhere and standing beside Remus. "And I read a spell that makes your nose hair grow into ringlets, I can show you, if you'd like, _Seymour_."

Bletchley narrowed her eyes at Sirius. "Let's go," she said to the others, and they all left.

Remus turned around to face James. "What did you do to Mulciber?" he demanded.

"I turned his underwear three sizes too small," said James, and they all laughed loudly.

"I can't believe you did that!" said Remus.

"He had it coming, the pile of doxy dung!" said James. "And I'm going to do it to him everyday for the rest of his time at Hogwarts!"

"How _arrogant_ you are!" said someone, and they all turned around. "Who gives you the authority to just go about hexing anyone you meet?" Lily asked.

"It isn't random! You do know what they did to Sirius, right?" said James, unconsciously rumpling his hair to make it look windswept.

"But that doesn't mean you descend to his level!" said Lily.

"Oh, please-"

"Detention, Potter," said Lily.

"No!" said James.

"With _Slughorn_ ," said Lily deviously. She knew James disliked Slughorn.

" _No!"_ he said.

"Tomorrow at eight," she said, walking away. Then she turned around again. "I heard what you said, and I'll be keeping an eye on you, Potter. If I see you hexing people again, I'll tell McGonagall." Then she walked away again.

The other three looked at James. He grinned. "She said she'll be keeping an eye on me."

Sirius face-palmed.

"You know, I didn't need you to save me," Remus said to them. "I could have taken care of that on my own."

"We know, we were just bored," said Sirius. That was a lie, they had come to rescue him.

"Get back to the compartment," Remus ordered them. They all looked at him, surprised. "Go on."

They grinned at him and went back to their compartment. Remus went to Lily's compartment and hung out with her for a bit. When he went back to his, Marlene and Iker were there and everyone was laughing and talking loudly. He was in no mood for their boisterous behaviour, but he tried to participate in the conversation, to not come across as distant. But he didn't know how to behave with Sirius, so he avoided any conversation with him, as much as possible.

When they got out of the train at Hogsmeade station, the wind was strong and piercingly freezing, and everyone's faces were red and raw. The Prefects struggled to help the students into the carriages.

"Remus!" said James loudly.

"James, why don't you get into a carriage?" said Remus, pulling his hood over his head.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," said James, and Remus smiled. James never ceased to amaze him. He was always so concerned about his friends.

"I'm good," said Remus, picking a first year girl up by the waist and easily helping her into a carriage. She was in awe.

"Don't be mad at me, but Jani told me she saw you sitting on the staircase, earlier this morning," said James loudly, to make his voice heard over the roaring wind.

 _Of course. Jani._  
"It was nothing, it was just a stupid nightmare," said Remus.

"What did you see?" asked James.

Remus sighed. "I don't want to talk about it, Prongs. Just wanna forget…" he tried.

"If you don't wanna tell me, you should at least tell him," James continued, he wasn't going to let this go. Remus's eyes snapped back to James' face. "Yeah, I'm talking about Sirius. Or tell Evans. Just tell someone!"

"No!" said Remus loudly and James stared. "I mean…" he said, unable to think of anything to say.

"If it's a recurring one, you have to deal with whatever it's implying. It's what I always tell Padfoot," said James.

"Oh... yeah, I'll- I'll do that, thanks mate," said Remus, nodding, his brows furrowed.  
 _Lies. Of course I'm not gonna tell Sirius about the dream._

James smiled, clapped him on his shoulder and climbed into his carriage.


	44. Gardening

**Warnings: Blood.**

* * *

Peter sighed at the way Judith Finch-Fletchley and her friends stared at his two friends, making fools of themselves in the courtyard. James and Sirius had made a bet with Frank on the outcome of the latest game in the league, the Bigonville Bombers vs Puddlemere United. They had insisted that United were going to win, since they had Andrei Volkov on their team. A recent transfer from Lancashire, Volkov was touted the second-best chaser in the league that year. But unfortunately, he'd gotten hit by a bludger five minutes after the whistle blew, and United lost the match. Now, as punishment, Frank was making them enact a scene from a muggle novel. They both had these random cavalier hats on - where they obtained those, Peter could only guess.

James put his hat on and looked at Sirius and shrugged. "On the other hand… discretion is the better part of valour," he said.

Pratap laughed uncontrollably as he looked at the piece of parchment in his hands. "But-" he said, and laughed again. "But you're the musketeers…!" he finally managed to read.

"Wrong!" said Sirius gravely. "We _were_ the musketeers. Now we're just… us."

Everyone around them laughed. As the scene went on, Peter glanced at Judith again. She was giggling at something her friend whispered into her ear. Peter had developed a crush on Judith ever since he'd spoken to her in the library in august. She seemed lovely, but he knew no one would even look at him when he stood next to James and Sirius. He wished he could be as tall as them, or at least as fun as them.  
 _How do they always manage to make it look so effortless?  
_ He looked at Remus, who was standing next to him. He was laughing at them along with everyone else. Remus never bothered about becoming like James or Sirius.  
 _But then, he has his reading, he's always reading. Everyone has their own thing to be proud of. Everyone except me.  
_ Peter smiled to himself as Judith tugged on her pigtail braids. She always did that, it was a cute habit of hers. Now, James and Sirius were acting out a sword fight with their wands, which wasn't that safe. Sparks flew from both wands when they came into contact.  
 _Wait, if they're both musketeers, why are they fighting each other?_  
Sirius climbed onto a stone bench and stood on it. James tried to poke Sirius' legs with his wand but Sirius jumped down backwards without even looking.  
 _If I tried that, I'd probably hit my head and die.  
_ Finally, James managed to 'kill' Sirius. Everyone clapped and James and Sirius bowed to them. Sirius even blew kisses to the girls and they giggled and got excited.

That evening, the Marauders sat in the library, studying for a transfiguration quiz. Sirius covertly stared at Remus from behind his textbook. Remus was busy writing something down in his book. He paused, sensing his eyes, and looked up at Sirius. Sirius smiled at him. Remus glanced at Peter, who was sitting next to Sirius. Peter was looking at another table.

"Pete, what are you looking at?" Remus asked him.

Sirius pouted. _Why did he ignore me? Why is he always ignoring me?_

James looked over at the Hufflepuffs at the table and grinned. "Girls, Moony. He's looking at girls."

Peter panicked. "No!"

Sirius and Remus chuckled. "Do you like someone, Wormy?" asked Sirius.

"No!"

"Come on, Wormtail, tell us," said James.

"Come on, Wormy," said Sirius, poking him in his side.

Peter blushed. "Er."

"Who is it? Erin Brock?" asked Sirius.

Peter shook his head.

"Patricia Bones."

"No."

Sirius snapped his fingers. "I know, the Finch-Fletchley girl."

Peter smiled shyly and looked over at Judith again. "Yeah, Judith."

"Sirius, how do you know their names? They're fourth years, aren't they?" asked James.

"Um, Marlene told me…" said Sirius awkwardly.

James nodded.

"Why?" asked Remus curiously. Sirius shook his head anxiously, but now even Peter was looking at him too, so he had to answer.

"She strongly believes that one of them may have hexed her that day, you know… causing her toenails to grow uncontrollably," said Sirius.

" _No,"_ Peter moaned in dismay. "If they're part of _your_ fan club, she'll never- ugh this is pants!" He let his head fall on the table with a dull thud.

"Not all of them, though," said Sirius, feeling a little guilty.

"Yeah, look, why don't we find out what her interests are, then you can talk to her, okay?" said James.

Peter lifted his head hopefully. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, good idea," said Sirius.

"I don't want _you_ to find out," Peter to Sirius.

"No," said Sirius, shaking his head. "We'll ask MacDonald to find out."

Peter gave them a small smile. "Okay."

"Oh, _now_ you want her help? You weren't so keen last time," said James, grinning cockily.

Sirius was thankfully rescued from having to give a reaction by the arrival of a red-headed girl. James immediately rumpled his hair. "You lot forgot to collect your assignments after class today," said Lily and placed the parchments on the table. James' assignment was on the top and they could see he'd received an 'O' grade.

"Thanks, Lily," said Remus.

"Thanks," said Sirius.

Lily looked at the 'O' grade and then at James' face. He smiled at her and she left.

"That was a compliment!" said James, cheering up immensely.

"She didn't say anything!" said Peter.

"She acknowledged the 'O'!" he said happily.

"She didn't even smile at you!" said Peter. "Not even a nod."

"Don't need a smile. A single glance is enough for me to know exactly what she's thinking," said James, smiling dreamily. "Oh, yes, she likes me, she just doesn't know it yet."

"Oh, yeah? How are you so sure?" said Peter.

"My heart is her abode, Wormtail, I can feel it in here," he said, pointing to his chest.

"Oh Merlin, not the poetry again," said Sirius.

"Her eyes are clouds," said James, grinning.

"Her eyes are clouds?!" said Remus, chuckling.

James nodded. "Her eyes are clouds, and a single glance from her is like a lightning bolt to my heart."

"Sounds intense," said Peter.

"It's a paradox. It's intense, but it also makes me feel content, like a baby falling asleep to a lullaby."

"Amazing," said Remus, and both he and Peter clapped lightly.

Sirius smiled to himself. _A single glance is enough, huh? Wish it were that easy for me too.  
_ It had been more than a fortnight since their return to Hogwarts, and both Remus and Sirius were quite certain they were going insane. Remus constantly tried to pretend that the romantic element of their relationship never even happened, by avoiding being alone with Sirius anywhere. But at the same time, he couldn't help staring at Sirius when he walked around the dorm, shirtless.  
 _Those back muscles. Help.  
_ Sirius thought that Remus hadn't been able to forgive him for kissing Amanda, so he forced himself not to think of Remus in a non-platonic way, and focused himself solely on friendship. It wasn't easy when all he really wanted to do was snog him.

James wondered what was going on between his two friends. Muggle Studies was the only class where Remus and Peter didn't join them, so they had a whole period to talk about anything the wanted  
"Sirius, what's going on between you and-"

"Just don't ask me anything, James, even I don't know what the hell is going on," said Sirius.

Remus kept thinking back to that intimate moment in the dark tunnel. He wanted that again, he needed it. But then he remembered Amanda's lips on Sirius'. And after that he remembered the horrid nightmare, and he just threw all those thoughts away. Still, it bugged him that Sirius had kept saying that he didn't know how it had happened.  
 _Why would he say that? He had to be lying. Or maybe he just forgot how it had come to take place._

The Marauders were in Herbology one afternoon, learning about magical Caldora leaves and how to re-pot them.  
"Not to be confused with the Caldera plant, which is native to Southern Asia. Interesting fact about the Caldera, it bears fragrant flowers the size of your heads! Stamens of these flowers are the main ingredient in love potions. Or, I should rather say, that no love potion is complete without this particular ingredient," Professor Sprout said, and some girls giggled.

"Hmm, love potions, huh?" said James with a distant look on his face.

"Uh oh, what are you thinking, Prongs?" asked Peter.

"A prank! Morning pumpkin juice spiked with love potion! Imagine the chaos!" he said with an evil glint in his eye.

The others stared at him.

"Do you want to die, James?" asked Sirius.

"I'm not saying I'll make it so everyone comes after me," said James. "They'll go after each other."

"That's a terrible idea," said Remus, and shook his head.

Professor Sprout told them to collect some glass bottles of potion to water the Caldora shrubs.

"What kind of potion is that, professor?" asked Alice. Alice always asked the right questions in Herbology, it just made everyone else's lives easier. It was her favourite subject.

"The potion neutralises the effects of metal in the water, because the Caldora shrubs are sensitive to metal, and any small amount of metal can change the chemical composition of the leaves, which in turn, has adverse effects on the potion that would be attempted with said leaves. Hence the glass bottles and not watering cans. All the instruments you will use today will be made of wood." the professor answered.

"I'll go get the potion," said Remus. And he walked over to the long table at the back of the greenhouse. He picked up a bottle but it was heavier than he expected and he dropped it. Luckily, it didn't break, but rolled under the table to the far end. He didn't want to use _Accio_ in case the potion was volatile, or if the stopper came loose. So he crept cautiously under the table to retrieve it. He began crawling out again, and accidentally put his hand in some dragon dung manure.  
"Bollocks!" he whispered, wiping his hand on the earth nearby. Then he heard two girls approach the table for a bottle of potion. They appeared to be giggling. And discussing love potions. Remus shook his head again.  
 _No doubt they'd been discussing it ever since Professor Sprout mentioned it._

"Or maybe one day, I'll just snap and do a Wallace!" one girl said.

"What?"

"Lace my lips with it and make out with whomever I like!"

"Holy Helga!" And they were giggling again.

 _Hufflepuffs. Of course. Move, ladies, so I can get out of this manure dump.  
_ Remus finally returned to their table with the potion.

"What took you so long?" asked Sirius, taking in his dirty knees and hands.

"Potion rolled under the table, and I went to get it back, but some girls wouldn't move," he said, grimacing. The other boys chuckled.

"Please be very careful with the potion, do not let in anywhere near your eyes! Do not ingest it," said Professor Sprout.

The Marauders laughed again. "Why would anyone drink it?" said Peter.  
Then they got to work, replanting the shrubs into bigger pots, and Remus' mind went back to the conversation he'd overheard.  
 _Would that girl really lace her lips with love potion and kiss someone? That has to be illegal, right? Hmph, love potions themselves should be illegal._

"Okay, I think that's deep enough. Remus pour the potion in," said James, and Remus pulled the cork out and tilted the bottle into the pot. It had a narrow opening so he would be holding it for some time. Peter timed it.

 _What did she mean, do a Wallace? Was that a person, or something else? Amanda Wallace?!  
_ Remus automatically looked at Sirius, frowning.  
 _Lace my lips and make out…_

"What?" Sirius asked him, tilting his head in the most canine way.

 _I swear I don't know what happened, James... snogging Amanda… lace my lips-  
_ And as it hit him, he accidentally gripped the bottle a little too tightly, werewolf strength in full blast. A split second later, the bottle exploded into a hundred pieces. Shards flew everywhere.

"Aaargh!" the Marauders screamed. Remus stared at his hand in horror. Blood was dripping from it.

"Great Godric, Moony! Your hand!" shouted James. Other people around them moved closer to look at his hand.

"Ah!" said Remus and clutched his wrist with his uninjured hand.

Sirius took his hand and slowly turned it over. Everyone gasped. There were around twenty pieces of glass still stuck to his palm and it was bleeding profusely, dripping onto the floor. He whimpered and made to remove the glass pieces from his palm, but Sirius stopped him.

"No! Go to the Hospital Wing, let Madam Pomfrey do that." he said.

"Let me take a look, please. Mr. Black?" asked Professor Sprout and Sirius reluctantly let go of Remus's hand.

"Ow, it's starting to burn!" said Remus, and the professor nodded.

"That will be the effect of the potion, neutralising the haem in your blood. It can be poisonous. We'd better hurry to the Hospital Wing now!" she said, pulling him towards the exit."Get back to work, all of you!" she said to the rest of the class. "No! Stay where you are, Mr. Potter! You'll only be in the way!"  
"Such accidents are rare, but not uncommon, Mr. Lupin," she was telling him as they hurried to the castle. "We may be surrounded by dirt and gardening tools, but it is still a magical environment…"

Remus thought the pain from the glass cuts was not too bad, he'd been through much worse, but the burning sensation was becoming unbearable. It seemed to be creeping up his arm through his veins. "It's spreading," he told her and she increased their pace.  
He also started feeling kind of dizzy as he climbed the stairs in the Entrance Hall, Professor Sprout was saying something as she supported him. Some older students nearby stared at his hand in horror as they hurried along the corridors. He heard someone call his name, but he didn't turn. He looked down at his hand as he walked and he saw the blood forming tight clumps. When he finally turned the last corner and reached the corridor outside the double doors, he couldn't see properly now, it was all a blur. The Professor pushed open the doors with her shoulder and they trudged inside.

"Remus?!" he heard Dorcas exclaim. "Madam Pomfrey?!" she yelled and he felt Professor Sprout gently guide him to a bed.

"Remus, sit," said Dorcas.

"What happened?" he heard the matron ask as she ran over. He couldn't tell where she was but he could see a blur of shapes as he heard Professor Sprout explain what happened as fast as she could.

Remus groaned. His head was spinning now.

"Out of the way, Dorcas!" he heard Madam Pomfrey say and she ran to her stores to check and came back again.

"Pomona, I'm going to have to go to St Mungo's! Dorcas, floo Minnie and update her immediately," she said. Remus thought he heard Dorcas floo to McGonagall, but he couldn't be too sure. It seemed like his senses were fading. He slowly lay back on the pillows and tried to breathe.  
 _What if all the haemoglobin in my blood split? Would I die?  
_ He heard footsteps again, and he blinked, trying to see who it was. It was Professor McGonagall. She was saying something about a glass of water, but Remus didn't hear it, he blacked out.

"Don't tell me that after everything we've been through, Remus is going to die because he did some gardening?" said James, to the other two.

"Don't say that! He's not dying," Sirius scolded him.

"Why do these things _keep_ happening to him?!" exclaimed James. "He must have really angered the Gods in a past life."

"How the hell did that happen anyway?" asked Sirius.

"He squeezed it, I saw, cos I was keeping time. I don't think he meant to do it, but his hand suddenly jerked and it shattered," said Peter.

James and Sirius looked at each other and back at Peter. "Why would he squeeze the bottle?" James wondered.

Sirius looked down where drops of Remus' blood littered the floor at their table and his heart gave a tense lurch.

"What are you doing, standing around?" he heard Lily and turned around. She was standing at the door. She quickly walked out and the Marauders exchanged glances and hurried after her.

"I think my brain just shut down for a moment," James explained as he ran to walk beside her.

Lily noticed that James did not rumple his hair this time, and she knew it was because he was worried about Remus. "I think your brain is always shut down," she replied out of habit. But James didn't wasn't in the mood to come up with a clever retort.

The doors to the Hospital were shut and so they waited. Sirius put his ear to the door, trying to make out sounds. After five or so minutes, he heard some rushed fumbling and inhaled sharply. Lily bent down and tried to look through the keyhole.

"What do you see?" James asked her immediately.

"Madam Pomfrey is performing a procedure on him, but McGonagall and Sprout are blocking my view," she said.

"Let me see," James said, and pushed her out of the way.

Lily scoffed, but before she could reprimand him, he uttered a soft scream.

"She just slit his wrist!" he yelped.

"What! Move," Lily said and pushed him out of the way to see. "Madam Pomfrey's squeezing his arm and collecting the blood into a bowl!" she explained to them. Lily felt nauseous as she saw that some of the blood was clumpy, like it had curdled or something.  
 _This is probably why they don't allow family members into operating theatres and such.  
_ She saw that even Professors McGonagall and Sprout were unable to watch, they had walked off to the side, and sat in chairs.

" _Alohomora_ ," James whispered, but the doors didn't unlock.

"You've got to be kidding me. Surely, you'd have known that that wouldn't have worked, it's an infirmary," Lily said.

"Had to try," he replied, smiling a little, and she rolled her eyes.

" _Vula_ ," she whispered and the doors unlocked promptly with a click. The Marauders gaped at her.

"It's the unlocking incantation for an East African locking charm," she explained, pushing one of the double doors open slightly so that they all could see. Madam Pomfrey was nearly done draining all the blood in his arm, she was muttering healing charms and his incision closed.

Remus heard voices around him. He sniffed and immediately knew who were all around him.

"-wouldn't have affected anyone so adversely, but because of his condition-" Madam Pomfrey was saying.

"What condition? What is wrong with him?" Dorcas interrupted.

"Ms. Meadowes, if you interrupt her one more time, you will be sent away," said Professor McGonagall.

"He would have _died_ if I was even fifteen minutes late," finished Madam Pomfrey. There was a silence as they all processed what she just told them, including Remus himself.

"So the potion worked?" asked James, his voice a bit croaky.

"Yes, it worked perfectly. He can leave as soon as he wakes up," she assured them.

"Thank God," said Sirius, and Remus felt him touch his hand.

"Did you just say Thank _God_?" asked Peter, chuckling.

Sirius sighed. "Yes. I said God. So what?" he asked.

"Oh nothing, just that we know that's not the name you take when you're anxious," said Peter.

Sirius groaned.

"Sweet Salazar!" James imitated his exact tone of voice and hand gesture and Peter laughed.

"I'm not anxious, I'm relieved," said Sirius, as Remus opened his eyes and grinned.

"Moony, how do you feel?" asked Peter immediately.

"I feel fine, actually." he said, sitting up. He looked at his hand and it was still in bandages. He tried flex his fingers and it hurt a bit.

"I had to rush to St Mungo's to bring you a potion to neutralise the effects of the Caldora potion," Madam Pomfrey told him. "It was wreaking havoc in your system, I had to drain all the blood in your right arm, and then inject the potion directly into your bloodstream through your jugular vein, it was the only way."

"Thank you. You saved my life!" he told her.

"I was just doing my job," she replied.

"No, you go above and beyond for every patient, you're amazing," said Dorcas, and Madam Pomfrey smiled.


	45. Magic or Faith

Madam Pomfrey simply smiled and patted Remus' head. "You can have your dinner and leave," she told him.

"Why can't he just go and eat with us?" asked Peter.

"Because I have a few other potions I need to give him after he eats," she told him and went into her office.

"Speaking of potions, did you know you pressed the bottle so hard, it broke? You did this to yourself," said Peter, sounding disappointed.

Sirius elbowed him in the ribs, and James said, "Ha ha, you must be joking, Peter." Peter looked guilty.

"Is this true, Mr. Lupin?! Did you break that bottle on purpose?" asked McGonagall.

"No! It was-" he said, suddenly remembering why it all happened. He pretended to check his bandages.

"Mr Lupin! You will look at me when I am speaking to you," said the professor sternly.

He looked up at her. "It wasn't on purpose. It was a in a moment of instinct. I'm sorry, I'll try and be more careful next time," he told her, and avoided the Marauders' eyes. He could see them exchanging looks out of the corner of his eye.

"It is almost time for dinner, why don't you boys run along, now? He'll be back in the Tower before long," Professor McGonagall told the other Marauders. They gave a collective sigh and left. "Be prepared for a secondary interrogation, Mr. Lupin," she said, smiling at him.

He grinned back. "I always am."

"Ms. Evans and Professor Sprout were here too. They left after Madam Pomfrey assured them that you'd make a full recovery." Remus nodded and smiled.

Then McGonagall left, and Remus ate his dinner. As he ate, Dorcas came over to sit on his bed. "I'm so glad you're alright. It was really scary. When you came in, you were as pale as the wall, and the blood on your hand was actually turning green!" she told him.

"Oh my God, green? That's weird!" he said, looking at his bandaged hand again.

She nodded. "Madam Pomfrey was really worried. When she was injecting that potion, she kept muttering, 'Come on, Remus, don't die on me, don't die on me…' and for a minute there, we thought you were really dead. I can't imagine what we would have done if -" she said, looking really distressed.

"Hey! Hey, Dorcas. I'm fine now, see. It's all good now," he said.

"Well, be careful next time!" she ordered him, and he smiled at her.

"I will, Prefect Meadowes. You know, it was pretty scary for us too, watching you lie there, unconscious," he told her and she nodded guiltily.

"I guess we should all be more careful."

Madam Pomfrey came back with six different vials of potions for him. He made a face when he saw them. "No use looking at them like that. You have to drink these five now, and this sixth one, before you sleep at night," she told him.

He sighed and drank them one after the other. Then at last, she gave him a glass of water, and said he could leave.

"I don't understand. Why couldn't I leave? I was in here for so long!" complained Dorcas.

"You needed bed rest, Dorcas. Whereas he needs to fall into a normal routine," she said, smiling at them.

"Why does my hand still hurt?" he asked her.

"It's due to that Caldora potion, although why I keep calling it that, I've no idea, it doesn't contain any Caldora… Anyway, the potion ate away at the blood vessels in your hand, so the Dittany needs some time to work. It will be alright by bedtime," she told him.

Remus got to his feet and hugged the matron. She was pleasantly surprised. "Thank you," he told her. Then he turned to Dorcas. "Well Dorcas, see ya!"

"Wouldn't wanna be ya!" she retorted and he laughed.

"You definitely wouldn't."

He decided to confront Amanda. He could think so clearly now, it was unreal.  
 _Probably all those potions. Hmph! I'll ask her directly and I'll see whether she has the nerve to lie to my face.  
_ He went down to the Great Hall and asked at the Ravenclaw table, but they told him that she had gone back to the Tower.

"Remus! Hey Remus!" he turned around and saw Lily waving at him from the Gryffindor table. He walked over. "How's your hand? Are you alright?" she asked him, taking his hand and examining the bandages. The girls looked at his hand interestedly.

"It's fine. That potion had seeped into my blood vessels and it had an adverse reaction," he told her.

"Right," she said, and let go of his hand.

"How did that bottle explode, though?" asked Mary.

"I have no idea," he lied, looking up at the Staff table. Professor Flitwick was having his dinner, and next to him, Professor Slughorn was talking non-stop.  
 _Better sit and wait for Flitwick to finish his dinner, then._  
He sat down with the girls and ate some dried currants.

Flitwick was soon done with his meal, and he dropped out of sight, and then appeared again at the entrance to the Great hall. Remus got to his feet and followed him out. "Professor, may I have a word?"

"Sure, Mr. Lupin. What is it?

"Professor, I think a student from your house has been using love potions."

"Love potions?! They are a banned substance at Hogwarts! The use of intelligence for such evil things, makes my very blood boil!"

Remus nodded. He was glad Flitwick thought love potions were evil.

"Male or female student?"

"Female, sir."

"Ah. Well then, you'd better send the girl to Professor McGonagall. She- she's better at getting the point across."

"Yes, sir, will do. Permission to enter Ravenclaw Tower?"

"Permission granted. I'm sure you can manage it," said the professor, winking.

"Thank you, sir. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Flitwick said, and bobbed away.

Remus checked the staff table again, Professor McGonagall wasn't there, so he went up to her office and knocked on her door. He heard her say 'enter' and walked in, McGonagall was at her desk, marking some essays.

"Mr. Lupin, what can I do for you?"

"Professor, I have reason to believe that a female student from Ravenclaw has been using a love potion." he told her, and he couldn't help smirking.

"Love potions?!" she said vehemently. "Why, that won't be tolerated in the slightest! Who is it?"

"Amanda Wallace."

"How do you know this?"

"Some Hufflepuff girls were talking about it."

"And they said she used it?"

"Yes."

"Who are the Hufflepuff girls?"

"I don't know, I only saw their feet."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I was under a table at the time…"

"Mr. Lupin!"

"I was merely retrieving a fallen item! I wasn't eavesdropping on purpose."

"And you're sure of this?"

"I'm almost certain she used it at Professor Slughorn's Christmas Party! And I heard these girls talk about it as if it was funny and doable. I mean what if more people used them? It's a scary thought..." he said and shuddered.

"Yes, yes, you're right, of course," she said. "Send the girl to my office."

"As you say," he said, grinning, and left her office.

Remus lifted the large eagle-shaped door knocker and let it go. There was a loud boom.

"Which is more rational, magic or faith?" the door asked him. He didn't need to think about it, he only believed one thing. "Magic is just another language to describe the same things that faith talks about," he answered.

"Well put," the door said and opened to let him in. He grinned and walked in. He had been here only a few times before, he really liked this Common room.

" _Lupin?_ What are _you_ doing here?" Antoine asked loudly. Remus groaned.

"I'm also a Prefect, Antoine. Besides, I have permission to be here," Remus told him, looking around for Amanda.

"No, I meant how did you get inside? Surely, you Gryffindors set store by brawn rather than brain?" he said, smirking. He was purposely talking loudly to attract the attention of the people nearby.

Remus rounded on him slowly, Antoine was smirking.  
 _Ugh. No humility.  
_ "For all your talk of intelligence, I think you Ravenclaws are a little dense. Anyone with even an atom of common sense can answer your questions at the door. Why not have a password, which is impossible to get past unless you expressly know it?" he replied, equally loudly. Antoine didn't say anything. Then Remus spotted Amanda Wallace by a bookshelf and walked toward her.

Back in the Gryffindor Common room, the Marauders approached the girls' table. "Hey Marlene, have you seen Remus?" Sirius asked.

"I saw him at dinner. He looked like he was waiting for a teacher," she replied.

"Oh." Sirius looked at the other two, confused.

"Why did he go to dinner? I thought he was having it in the Hospital Wing?" asked Peter.

"Oh, he wasn't there to eat, he was asking around at the Ravenclaw table for Wallace," Mary said immediately.

"Wallace? That the girl you kissed at Slughorn's party?" asked Peter, smirking. Mary and Alice giggled. Lily and Sirius looked at each other.

"Yes, but why was he asking about her?" asked Sirius, looking at James.

"I am somehow not all that comfortable with what I just heard," said James.

"Hmmm.." said Sirius. _That's pretty awkward._

"Maybe it was official Prefect business," said Lily, and Sirius rounded on her.

"What do you know about it?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just know Remus," she replied, without looking up from her book.

"And he knows something... Let's go, lads," said James and walked back to their own table. James took out the Marauder's map and scanned the Great hall, but he wasn't there.

Peter looked around to see if anyone was watching them. "What about the Ravenclaw Common room?" he suggested.

"Good idea, Wormy," said James, and they looked around in it.

Sirius pointed to a corner where two dots labelled, 'Remus Lupin' and 'Amanda Wallace' were standing.

"He looks like he's standing awfully close to her, doesn't he?" said Peter.

" _What is going on_?" asked Sirius.

"Wallace," Remus said, already annoyed to be in her presence. She turned around and her brows knitted together in question. "I'm here to ask you something, and it will do you good to answer truthfully." He didn't wait for her to respond. "Did you or did you not use a love potion at Professor Slughorn's Christmas Party?"

Her eyes widened in shock. "What are you talking about? I did no such thing!"

"Oh, really? And if I were to send a female Prefect to go through all your belongings, what would we be finding, I wonder?"

She swallowed.

"Tell the truth, Wallace."

Her expression was stony. "Yes, I did."

"You used it on Sirius?"

She didn't respond, she glanced at her friends, who were looking over at her curiously from their table. Remus snapped his fingers at her face. "Yes! I used it on Sirius!" she said.

"Not only that, you've been broadcasting your achievements throughout the school, corrupting the other students. Let me tell you this. If I get so much as a _whiff_ of another love potion at school, or even hear a _whisper_ about one, you'd better be prepared to incur the wrath of all four of the Marauders. And you do not want that, do you, Wallace?" he said, all in one breath.

Amanda looked terrified. She shook her head jerkily.

"Good. Professor McGonagall is waiting for you in her office. You'd better hurry now," he told her, nodding toward the door, and she quickly walked away.

The three Marauders accosted Remus as soon as he stepped through the Portrait Hole. "Where were you?" James demanded, pulling him aside.

Remus grinned. "You already know."

"What were you doing?" Sirius asked.

"Just talking," Remus answered, shrugging.

They raised his eyebrows at him. "Okay, fine. I was threatening her in a true Marauder fashion. She used a love potion on you, Padfoot. She put some on her lips and…" Remus told him.

They watched Sirius's expression go from confusion to shock, and then to disgust. "Ugh… I feel so- I feel so violated. I feel so gross!" he said, shuddering.

"I'm so sorry, mate," said James, rubbing his back.

"I didn't understand. I didn't know how I did that.. That's vile, I was kissing her!" he said, grimacing.

"I know, I know. You kept saying you didn't know what had happened, it was odd," said Remus.

"Is that how you figured it out?" asked James, astonished.

"I need some air!" said Sirius, and walked over to the window and cracked it. He leaned on the sill and took deep breaths.

"Is he alright?" It was Marlene, she looked concerned.

"No, I'm not, I can't breathe…"

"What happened?" she asked, pushing James aside, and undoing the top two buttons on Sirius' shirt.

"I overheard two Hufflepuffs vaguely discussing what she did, and I remembered what he'd kept saying and it confirmed my theory," Remus continued as if Marlene hadn't spoken.

"Wait a second. This was in Herbology, right?" asked Sirius, nodding.

Remus grinned guiltily.

"Excuse me, am I invisible? Someone tell me what the hell happened, right now!" said Marlene, crossing her arms. Sirius sat down on the sill.

"Amanda put love potion on her lips and kissed me at the party," Sirius told her. "I remember her... you know, pulling me towards her and kissing me, but after that it's kind of a blur," he said, gesturing with his hand. "And then I realised I was kissing her, so I pushed her away and... she was saying, 'Oh, don't pretend like you don't want this too,' or something like tha…" he said, and he was out of breath again.

"It's okay, it's okay, Siri, just calm down," Marlene told him, rubbing his chest.

"That was the worst I've ever felt. I felt like I was too far gone, you know. That the Black family insanity was finally catching up to me…" he muttered, his eyes shining with tears now.

"Oh, Siri!" said Marlene, and she hugged him. The Marauders felt awful.

Remus didn't expect Sirius to have such a bad reaction to the news.  
 _Oh hell, it was so like me to just think of myself in that situation. I didn't even guess how he must have felt when he realised what was happening._

"I'm sorry, mate. I'm sorry I thought you did it on purpose. Even when I knew-" James stopped himself.

"Yeah," said Sirius. He emerged from Marlene's bear hug and gave him a small smile. "We were both thinking it. It wasn't just you," Sirius told James. James exhaled forcefully and put his arm on his shoulder.

Peter glanced between Marlene and Sirius. They looked like they needed some privacy. "We'll give you some space," he suddenly told them and nodded at the others. They nodded at him and walked over to their table. But it was occupied by some third years.

They looked up warily from their books. "Sorry, you just left your books lying open, so we..." the third year told them, pointing at the chair where some books were piled.

James just sighed and wordlessly picked up his book bag off the floor. Peter collected his and Sirius's books.

"Did you guys bring back my bag from the greenhouse?" Remus asked, as they walked back to their dorm.

"Of course, what did you think?" said Peter, grinning. "It's upstairs."

They stood on the landing and watched as Marlene and Sirius sat on the windowsill and talked. "What do you reckon they're talking about?" Peter asked.

"No idea," said James, and they traipsed up the stairs.

"You could have listened in, if you wanted to, couldn't you?" asked Peter, and Remus nodded. "But you won't. See that's the thing about you. I don't know how you do it. If it were me, I would just be listening in on everyone's conversations," Peter continued.

"He's an honourable werewolf," said James, throwing his bag onto his bed.

"A werewolf with integrity!" said Peter. Remus smiled.

Marlene and Sirius watched the Marauders walk away and looked at each other. "They don't realise it, do they? What you go through at home?" she asked.

"They do, they do. It's not like I haven't told them. It's just that…" he exhaled and looked down at his own hands. "They see me as separate from my family. Like I'm an adopted son or something," he said, and chuckled, although nothing was hilarious.

"I get it," she said, nodding. "To them, you're Sirius, the good Gryffindor."

He nodded.

"But Sirius, you _are_ a Black. And I must say, I'm not happy with the way they won't acknowledge it. They should've been helping you, not judging you," she told him.

"They do help me… most of the time. It's just that sometimes, no, almost always, I take things too far, Marly. Like at the beginning of this year. I did something…"

"What did you do, Sirius? Why was Remus so mad at you?" she asked, and he told her about the incident with Severus.

Her jaw slacked. "Unbelievable," she said.

"I know, I don't know what I was thinking, I was such an _idiot_!" he said, shaking his head.

"And he forgave you?! How?" she asked, mystified.

"Moony can't hold a grudge for too long," he said, giving her a small smile.

She stared at him.

"I love him," he blurted out.

"What?" she asked. "Oh. _Ohh._ Right," she said, and bit her lip, thinking.

"What does that mean?" he asked, gauging her reaction.

"Nothing. I get what James was saying earlier... Wow, Sirius Black is gay, what _will_ the female population of Hogwarts do now?" she asked, giggling.

"To hell with the female population of Hogwarts!" he said, and Marlene laughed.

"I don't blame you for saying that after what Wallace did," she said.

"That bitch! I'm surprised Remus didn't hex her," he said, crossing his arms.

"He is a Prefect after all. What did he do?"

"He went all the way to the Ravenclaw Common room and threatened her Marauder-style. If I know anything about Remus, that girl will stay far away from me," he said, grinning.

"Looks like you've got your very own knight in shining armour, as the Muggles say," she said, grinning impishly."I hope you thank him _properly_ ," she added.

"I don't know Marlene…" he said.

"Are you kidding me?! He felt so bad you got hexed, that he took away all your pain. I'm sure he loves you, Siri," she said.

"There's a difference between romantic love and platonic love, Marlene," he said and told her what had happened over the holidays.

"Well, I'll just ask Evans, she'd probably know what's bugging him."

"No!" he said.

"Why not?"

"Then she'll know it was about me,"

"So what?"

"She'll tell him!"

"Oh… right. And that is a problem, how?"

"Marly, don't… don't tell anyone about me," he said, ignoring her question.

"I won't," she promised. "Who else knows?"

"James asked Evans to ask Remus if he liked anyone..." he told her, smiling guiltily.

"What! Lily was helping James? That's unbelievable!"

"She may have talked to him. But we don't know what they talked about."

"Then what happened?"

"Then I went and kissed Amanda, remember!"

"Merlin's most smelly socks!" she exclaimed, and Sirius laughed. "So, now everyone knows the truth. What are you going to do about it?" she asked eagerly.

"I'm not sure..." he said, and she looked at him thoughtfully.

"Do you feel bad that he didn't trust you with the whole Amanda thing?"

" _I_ didn't believe me. Why would anyone else?"

"But still. I mean, no one even gave you the benefit of doubt."

"Yeah, I mean I do feel a little bad. But it's not like we're actually in a relationship."

" _Yet._ You know what the solution is, don't you?"

"What?"

"Let it be known that you expect an apology."

"What! Don't be ridiculous. He's more than made up for it by catching the criminal responsible."

She chuckled. "Criminal."

"Well, she _is_ a criminal!"

Yes, but if you don't tell them how you feel, there will be resentment, which is not good for any potential relationship."

"You think so?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then. _I will let it be known_ ," he said, smiling at her. "What about you? How's your on-again off-again thing with Gomez going?"

Marlene laughed. "Currently it's off-again. Iker thinks he can get away with anything, so I'm not talking to him."

"Ah, then you're in need of some attention. You know, Peter's single," he said, grinning.

"Thanks, but he's not my type," she said, getting to her feet.

"Why not?" asked Sirius.

"One time he told me that I smelled like Charcuterie... not an ideal thing to tell a girl," she said and Sirius laughed.

"You smell like Charcuterie! That's hilarious," he said and laughed again.

Marlene pulled his hair to make him stop.

"Ow!" he said. "Okay, I'll stop. Do you think we should teach Peter how to talk to girls?"

"Hmm, I don't know, he seems too far gone," she said.

"Come on, Marly. You could give him some tips," he said.

"Actually the problem would be solved if you find a girl who's as interested in food as he is," she said. "He's like a food connoisseur... Anyway, I should get back to my assignment. Is it alright if I tell the girls about Wallace?".

"Don't tell MacDonald!" he said immediately.

Marlene chuckled. "I swear she's not that bad, Sirius! Alice is kind of worse, she can't hide anything from Frank..." she said.

" _Please_. Don't tell either of them," he begged.

"They won't tell anyone if I ask them not to, Sirius, I promise," she said.

"Okay, okay!" he relented and she ruffled his hair, before walking back to her table.


	46. Baklava

"What happened? Is Black okay?" asked Alice, as Marlene took her seat. She told them what happened and they were scandalised.

"But that's illegal!" said Lily immediately.

"It's not just illegal, it's immoral! How can you expect to gain someone's affection by manipulating them like that?" said Alice angrily.

"That's just wrong," agreed Mary.

"I know, Sirius is completely disgusted. I felt awful," said Marlene sadly and Lily looked a little guilty.

Marlene smirked. "Apparently Remus threatened her," she told them.

"Whoa, sounds scary," said Mary.

"I know, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of any of those!" said Alice.

"So I don't think there will be any revenge pranks on the Ravenclaws in the near future," said Marlene. "Although I would've loved to see that slag suffer for what she did to him."

"You're underestimating Remus. He can be very dangerous when he wants to, and he doesn't even need to try hard," Lily assured her.

"No wonder Sirius was so happy," Marlene said. "And you're not allowed to tell _anyone_ about this. Seriously, Mary." Mary nodded.

"Not even Frank?" asked Alice meekly.

"No, Alice."

When Sirius walked into the dorm, he saw Remus sitting on James' bed, leaning against headboard, fast asleep. He was still in his school robes. He hadn't even taken his shoes off, and his book was falling out of his hands. To Sirius, he was a vision of perfection.  
 _Do I really have to ask for an apology from this bloke? Can I please just kiss him instead?_

James and Peter were playing chess on Peter's bed. "Didn't feel like moving him," said James, smiling at Sirius.

"Well, he's had a long day," agreed Sirius. He sat down on James's bed and began taking Remus' shoes off.

"He told us what happened," said Peter, turning to face Sirius. "Remember he went to retrieve the bottle from under the table? You will not believe what those Hufflepuffs were saying, he said that they were talking about 'doing a Wallace' and laughing about it!"

"Great Godric, no one is safe!" whispered Sirius.

"He said it took him a while to connect the dots, but it hit him when he was holding that damn potion, and-" James was saying.

"He gripped it too hard, and in a _moment of pure instinct_ , it shattered," supplied Peter, echoing Remus's words from the Hospital Wing.

"Yeah, I didn't realise I was doing it," Remus mumbled, peering at Sirius through barely open eyes.

"Moony, how is your hand?" asked Sirius.

"It feels fine now," said Remus, flexing his fingers. Then he proceeded to remove the bandage.

"Moony, no!" exclaimed Peter.

"No Peter, it's okay! Poppy said it will be fine by now," he assured him and removed the bandage, his hand was fully healed, except for a tiny scratch in the centre of his hand, which he assumed was the deepest cut. He showed it to the others. Sirius wanted to take the hand and kiss it.

"Thank Merlin, it's fine," said James.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. But are you okay?" Remus asked Sirius.

"No, to be honest. I can't shake the feeling that at any moment, I'm just gonna do something I don't want to, again. Ugh!" he said, feeling disgusted.

"I guess there are bad things that come from having a fan club too," said Peter, feeling thankful he didn't have unhinged people lusting after him.

"That's not going to happen, Sirius. I've told both McGonagall and Flitwick, and they're gonna put a stop to this," Remus said firmly. Sirius nodded, and removed Remus's remaining sock. Remus wiggled his toes and Peter laughed.

"Well, James, I guess this whole ordeal has put paid to your plans for a love-potion related prank?" Remus asked.

"Completely! I can't believe I was even considering it!" he said, shaking his head. The Marauders chuckled. "I'm really glad you threatened her by the way. You let her off easy, though. I would've definitely hexed her."

Remus smiled. "I was reminded of what you said in Potions before Christmas, that no one messes with the Marauders and gets away with it." James nodded.  
"Oh, speaking of potions," he said suddenly, and took out a vile-looking potion out of his robe pockets.

"By Godric, what potion is that, Moony?!" asked Sirius, horrified. "Is it that blood-replenishing one?"

"No, it's not Dugo potion. It's to help me sleep properly tonight, I suppose," he said, and uncorked it. They could smell the pungent smell of stale rice, but how they identified this smell was beyond all of them.

"Awhh!" said Peter, putting his hand over his nose.

Remus braced himself, emptied the vial in one go, and then half-retched, covering his mouth with his free hand. "I'm okay, I'm okay," he assured them, took several deep breaths and rest his head back against the headboard.

"Are you sure, Moony?" asked Sirius, trying to catch his eye.

Remus smiled at him initially, then he looked slightly annoyed. "Padfoot, I.." he began, then he blinked sleepily. Then he closed his eyes, head still resting on the headboard.

"What is it? Remus?" asked Sirius, curious to know, but then Remus nearly passed out, his head slid down the headboard and he was about to fall out of the bed. Sirius jumped up and caught him. He looked down at the werewolf in his arms, who was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Remus?" Sirius asked again.

"Sirius… 'm sorryyyy...sorry," Remus muttered, he sounded drunk, probably the potion was making him drowsy. "For thinking that you would- was being a bit self-centred, I didn't even ask you…" he continued, patting Sirius's elbow, and Sirius laughed, remembering Marlene's words that he demand an apology from them.

"Moony-" he started to say, but Remus slumped on him. "Okay, he's officially out cold," he announced.

"Let's lay him down, he can sleep here, for tonight," said James, and they tucked him in nicely.

The next evening, all the Prefects had a meeting about the events that took place on and the day after Slughorn's party. Dorcas and Amos Diggory stressed the need for increased security, and that also meant the Prefects were supposed to stricter when it came to punishing students out of bed at night. For their own safety.  
After the meeting, Remus and Dorcas walked back to Gryffindor tower together.

"You two haven't snogged?! Didn't you spend a week at the Potter Estate with him?" asked Dorcas, she sounded almost angry.

"We were focused on studying… none of us had finished our holiday homework!" Remus tried. He couldn't tell her about the dream since she didn't know about his condition. But he didn't think he could tell anyone else about the dream either, he knew what their answer would be. They'd tell him he was being paranoid, that he needn't worry. But how could he not worry? There wouldn't be any use regretting after something happened, you could only prevent things from happening by avoiding such situations entirely.

"You were in a giant house!" she went on.

"Yes."

"With about twenty rooms, most of them empty!"

"But-"

"With infinite nook and crannies!"

"Yes, but-"

"And no teachers!" she exclaimed, as they entered the Portrait hole.

"There were parents! And nosy house elves... and people kept visiting-"

"And extensive grounds! Don't they have an orchard?" Dorcas sighed. "Fuck off. Remus. Go on, get out of my sight!" she ordered him.

Remus scratched his head helplessly and left for the library.

Dorcas looked around for Lily. _This ends now._ Lily wasn't back yet, so she decided to wait for her with Marlene.

Marlene was sitting at a nearby table, reading a book on Thunderbirds. She looked up and smiled as Dorcas took a seat. "Hey Meadowes, how were your Christmas holidays?"

"Good. How about yours?"

"We went to Turkey, and it was amazing!"

"Oh, that's good, that's good..."

Marlene realised that Dorcas wasn't really listening to her, so she went back to her reading, a little annoyed. _Why ask if you don't want to hear the answer?_

As soon as Lily arrived, Dorcas waved her over. Lily looked at them. _The most unlikely pair..._ _What are they doing together? They don't even like each other.  
_ "Er, what's going on?" she asked them.

Dorcas pulled her into the seat beside her, and whispered in her ear. "Lily, you're sure that Sirius likes Remus, right?"

Lily motioned toward Marlene and Dorcas nodded. Marlene was puzzled.

"Er, Marlene, is Sirius gay?" Dorcas asked her awkwardly.

Marlene frowned. "Look, is this because he was your date to Slughorn's party? Because that whole thing with Wallace was- does she know?" she asked Lily.

"Just answer the question, Marlene," Dorcas said, and Marlene bristled.

"I have nothing to say. Why should I tell you?" she said.

"Marlene, look-" began Lily.

"Go bug someone else!" said Marlene and she stood up to leave.

"Wait! Look I'm sorry if I was rude, okay," said Dorcas and Marlene stopped, raising an eyebrow.

"This is about Remus and Black," Lily said, and Marlene grinned.

"I forgot you knew about that. Yes, he is," she replied, sitting down again.

"Are you sure?" asked Dorcas, and Marlene was annoyed again. _Fuck you, Dorcas!_  
"Yes! He tells me everything! Are you sure Remus likes him back?" Marlene said.

"Totally," said Dorcas.

"If I'm honest, all this time, I completely disapproved of this relationship-" Lily began.

"I can imagine, you didn't think Sirius is worthy of Remus," said Marlene.

"Yes."

"But Sirius is an amazing person, you just need to get to know him, you know, Lily. You just need to give people a chance," said Marlene.

"I'm not a heartless monster, I did agree to help Potter, but Black himself appeared to be mixed up with that Amanda girl," said Lily.

"Who you now know is a devious little minger, and the reason for this whole misunderstanding. Sirius is innocent."

"Which is exactly why you need to tell Black to do it already," said Lily.

"Do what?" asked Marlene and Dorcas huffed.

"Confess his feelings to Remus, of course!" said Lily.

"Why should he be the one to do it? Why can't Remus do it?" asked Marlene.

"Because Remus is _Remus_!" said Dorcas.

"Well that explains a lot..." said Marlene sarcastically, crossing her arms. Lily and Dorcas shared exasperated looks.

"Remus is shy, Marlene," Lily explained, trying to remain patient.

"Not that you can relate," muttered Dorcas, and Marlene scowled.

"Sirius told me that Remus was being weird. Anyway, I'll try and talk to him. Honestly..." she said, and looked over at the Marauders. "I don't feel like going up to them."

"Oh come on, Marlene-" Lily began.

"Why can't we just do what we did last time? Sit and stare at them till they look at us?" she said.

"That's dumb," said Dorcas.

"Well it worked last time," said Marlene, her eyes boring into the back of Sirius' skull.

"How is walking up to your friend more awkward than the three of us staring at him from a distance?" asked Dorcas, but she joined in the staring too.

Lily stared at Sirius too, but slowly her eyes slid over to James unconsciously, and she must have been looking at him with some intensity because he was the one who looked up. She gasped, and turned away. Dorcas grinned at her.

"Er, Sirius, the girls are at it again," he said, nudging Sirius's foot with his own, and Sirius looked up and followed his line of sight, and Marlene waved him over.

"How do they do that?" Peter wondered as Sirius walked over to them.

"James is still looking at you, Lily," said Dorcas.

"Oh, whatever," dismissed Lily, and Dorcas shook her head.

"Ladies?" said Sirius. "You summoned?"

Dorcas and Marlene both giggled, and then looked awkwardly at each other.

"Black, go tell Remus you love him already," Lily told him, as casually as if she was telling him to throw a banana peel in the bin.

Sirius was taken aback. He was speechless.

"Yeah. I mean it's still a mystery to us, why you didn't kiss him in that tunnel," Dorcas told him in the same casual tone.

"What tunnel?" asked Marlene.

"Are you serious?! Remus said that?!" Sirius asked Dorcas, and she nodded.

"You love him don't you? I know you do, I heard what you said to him that day," Dorcas said, grinning.

Sirius's jaw dropped. Where is he?" he asked.

"Library," she told him, and he just bolted out of there.

"What tunnel? What happened in the tunnel?" Marlene asked immediately and even Lily looked curious.

"I thought he tells you everything? Dorcas retorted, grinning. "You two are their best friends, why don't you ask them yourselves?" and then she was gone.

" _Ufff!_ She's so annoying!" said Marlene, crossing her arms.

"Where did Sirius run off to?" asked Peter.

"No idea... does it matter? He's always doing something silly," said James, wondering the same thing.

Sirius was panting, having run all the way to the library. _Where is Moony?!  
_ He leaned on Madam Pince's desk to steady his breathing.

"What are you doing!" she asked suddenly from behind him, and he jumped.

"I'm looking for Remus Lupin," he told her calmly, but that only seemed to make her angrier.

"A likely excuse! Trying to steal library cards or something!" she yelled. "I know it was you last time, you wrecked my whole arrangement!"

Sirius remembered the horrible prank they'd played on her the year before. _It must have taken her ages to set them right.  
_ "No, I was looking for Remus!" he said to her loudly.

Some Ravenclaw second years nearby sniggered. Sirius saw Regulus sitting at the table behind them, watching him with an inscrutable expression.

"Out! Get out!" she yelled, and he had no choice but to leave.

"He went to the Hospital Wing," he heard Regulus say and turned around slowly.

"Oh, is he that tall Prefect? Yes, Jemima fell ill, so he escorted her," said one of the Ravenclaws.

"Thank you," he told them, "Thank you," he said, looking at Regulus, who didn't respond, but continued watching him in the same manner. Sirius stared back at him, he wanted to ask him a thousand questions.  
 _How are you? How is your study going? Did you make any good friends? Are you okay? What are the Slytherins forcing you to do?_

Regulus seemed to understand, because he got to his feet and came out of the library. He looked around, there wasn't anyone there. "What?" he asked meanly.

"How are you?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it."

"Surviving... floating around on a branch in the wake of your tsunami."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Exactly what it means! You think they treat me nicely because I'm your brother? Every time you prank them, I've to watch my back! Every time that stupid Potter scores, it's somehow my fault! Every time you and your friends do anything, they insult you! You think I enjoy listening to that?!"

Sirius didn't know what to say, he was just happy his brother was speaking to him. "I'm sorry," he said. After a moment, he asked, "Are you one of the sp-"

"Shut up! Shut up talking about that!"

"Fine! How is your studying going?"

Regulus chuckled humourlessly. "It's going fine," he replied, and silence fell. "I like Charms," he added after a while.

Sirius smiled. "I like -fig." Regulus rolled his eyes, he was going to say something else, then he spotted someone at the end of the corridor and stiffened. He slowly took his wand out.

"Who is it?"

"I have to hex you, Sirius, or I'm dead!" The Black family sneer was back on his face.

"Reggie…"

"Stupefy!"

"Yum!" said Lily taking a massive bite of the sweet. "Did you say you got this in Turkey?"

"Yes, it's called Baklava, and it's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted!"

"You can say that again!" said Lily. The two girls continued gorging on the sweet, until Marlene looked up and gasped. The piece of baklava fell out of her mouth. Sirius stepped into the Common room, supported by Anthony Jordan and a Garry Johnson, a third year. "What the hell did Remus do to him?!" she said to Lily as they watched them dump him in a seat next to the other two Marauders.

"He looks like he's been hexed again," said Lily.

"What!" Marlene said, and ran over to Sirius. She felt nervous as she saw him smile a little dazedly. Lily followed her, trying to appear nonchalant.

"What happened to you, Siri?" Marlene asked, leaning beside him.

"Reggie stunned me," he said and grinned.

"Oh."

James and Peter exchanged worried looks. "Why are you grinning?" James asked.

"Because Reggie talked to me. He actually talked to me. We had a conversation!" he replied, still grinning.

"Oh," said Marlene again. She smiled too.

"Then why did he stun you?" asked Peter.

"Because I'm guessing some creepy Slytherin was approaching," he told them.

"Ah. You can't be seen conversing with Gryffindors!" said James, nodding.

"No, you can. How else are Evans and Snivellus still friends? You can't be seen conversing with blood traitors," explained Sirius.

"WHAT!" said James. "Evans, you can't still be friends with him. He's an arsehole!" Then he realised he was on his feet.

"Watch your mouth, Potter! He's my friend!" yelled Lily, he fists at her side, balled up in anger.

"That's what I'm saying, he's not worth being your friend! Look at the sort of people he hangs out with!" said James.

"People like me?" asked Lily, raising her eyebrows. Marlene was enjoying herself.

"No! The others, Mulciber, Goyle! They're all into Dark Arts and you know it!" he told her.

Lily seemed to get more and more angry, her face was red. "You have _no_ right to tell me who I can or can't be friends with!" she shouted.

"But just think! What if-" James began, but she cut him off by raising her wand in his face. "Whoa... Evans!" he said, backing away.

"Lily! Lily, don't! you're a Prefect, remember?" said Remus, appearing out of nowhere.

"I don't care! I want to do what I want! I want to be friends with whom I want! And don't _you_ start telling me what to do now!" she shouted, and pushed Remus away as hard as she could. He wasn't expecting it, and fell back onto an armchair, but it toppled and he landed hard on the floor.

"Hey!" yelled Sirius, pulling out his wand on Lily.

"Are you going to hex me, Black? You're not against hexing Prefects, I know that."

"HEY!" they heard someone else yell, and Sirius dropped his wand in surprise. It was Dorcas. She also had her wand out and she looked livid. "What the hell is going on here? Looks like you're about to start duelling. Lily, I expected better from you! Marauders, to your dorm, now! And I expect you to have a civilised conversation," she yelled, pointing her wand at them and everyone hurried to follow her orders. She was such a tiny girl, but she could command people like the general of an army.

Lily and Marlene followed the Marauders up to their dorm. As soon as Peter shut the door, James rounded on Lily. "You do know what he's done, right? Do you remember what he did at Potions that day?!"

"I remember! I had a talk with him, he won't be doing that again!" she replied.

"Evans, you can't trust him, he's-"

"I know what happened, alright! Remus told me what Black did to him in September, nearly killed him, he did!" she said.

"That was not intentional, Lily, you know that," said Remus.

"It may not be-"

"Are you condoning Severus' behaviour? He nearly revealed Remus in front of everyone with that sprig of mountain ash!" said Peter.

Lily folded her hands. "I asked him about that, he told me he did it to simply give you a scare, not to reveal him," she told them. Marlene gaped at her.

"To give us a scare?!" asked Sirius incredulously.

"Yes, to give you a scare."

"It was to take revenge on us!" said Sirius.

"He said that. But he didn't reveal him, did he? He could have shoved the Rowan into Remus' face, but he didn't." The Marauders were speechless.  
"And Rowan really doesn't do anything. I mean, he could have brought something stronger into class, like Aconite. But he didn't, did he?" she said, and they couldn't believe she was saying this.

"Evans, you are just repeating his words. Are we supposed to congratulate him for not doing the wrong thing? Sirius' actions were unintentional, his actions were on purpose," said James.

"You can't vilify him entirely for being a little resentful. He's been through a lot," she told them. Remus couldn't believe she was saying this stuff.

"But Evans, that's no excuse! This isn't a _joke_ , this is Remus' life," said Sirius.

"You're one to talk about Remus' life, Black, seeing as _you're_ the cause of all these problems in the first place," she said cuttingly. Sirius looked extremely hurt.  
"He didn't reveal Remus, and that's the point," she finished with a finality in her tone, and then turned around and walked out of the dorm.

Marlene felt really sorry for Remus, he looked completely let down. No one had expected Lily to talk in this way. But she wasn't that great at comforting people, she especially didn't know what to say Remus, so she just left too, shutting the door behind her.

When the girls left, the others looked at Remus tensely. He was upset, he turned away from them angrily and walked over to his bed.

"I can't believe she just said that!" said Peter. " _Rowan doesn't really do anything_... it made his eyes water so much!"

"I don't think she even knows what she's talking about, it was clear she was just repeating Snivelly's words," said James.

"I for one, can't believe she's still friends with that slimeball! Why can she be friends with him, but I can't talk to my own brother?" said Sirius.

"That's cos your brother doesn't want to talk to you," said Remus meanly.

"That's not true, I spoke to him today," Sirius told him.

"Really?" said Remus.

"Yes, we had a nice little conversation," he said happily.

"After which, Regulus stunned him," said Peter.

"He what?!" said Remus. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you mental? That's not called a nice little conversation," said Remus.

"He only did it cos some Slytherin saw us talking," said Sirius.

"You know, you shouldn't have pulled your wand out on Lily!" said Remus.

"She pushed you!" said Sirius.

"That's not the point, she's a Prefect. You have to respect her authority," Remus told him.

"And what about what she did to you?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah, I'm not talking to her," said Remus, and the others' jaws dropped.


	47. Crying Baby

"Not talking to her?! But I'm sure she didn't really mean any of those things, Moony, she was just angry," said James.

"No, you don't get it, James, she did mean them. If she's going to take his side, I can't be friends with her," Remus said.

"She doesn't realise how malevolent he really is, she's too trusting," said James.

"That's exactly my point. And why are you taking her side? You're supposed to be _my_ friend," said Remus, feeling betrayed.

James smiled. "I'm on _your_ side, too, aren't I, Moony? She's _your_ friend, you need each other. Aren't you both on the same side?"

Remus shook his head sadly and sat down on his bed. "If she can't see what a bigot he is, there's no use talking about our friendship."

"You know what, Moony, I'm gonna reveal him. I'm gonna make her see his true colours, if it's the last thing I do."

"She won't see it that way, Prongs. She'll only think you're doing it to irritate her further," said Remus.

"Let her think whatever she wants about me, I just want you two to be friends again," James declared.

Remus could see that James wasn't going to be discouraged, so he didn't say anything.

"I've never seen Dorcas so mad before!" Peter said, after a while. "She looked like she was going to hex us all!"

"Yeah, she was pretty scary," said Sirius.

"You know what, I need to come up with a plan," said James, and Peter got excited.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. They both went and sat on James' bed and started discussing it. "Usually, opportunities like this don't really need prior planning, they just pop up naturally."

"You're right, but I still need an outline," said James.

"Make old Snivelly really mad?" suggested Peter.

"An excellent idea, Wormtail," said James, and they went on.

Sirius walked over to Remus' bed. "Evans will come round-"

"Whatever," said Remus. Sirius sighed. Whenever Remus said 'whatever' it meant he was in one of those moods. Full moon was nearing.

"Do you need anything?" Sirius asked him.

"Huh?"

"You should probably sleep, tomorrow's the full moon," said Sirius.

"As if I'd ever forget," said Remus. Then he looked at Sirius' face. His sweet face. Sirius was always patient with him. So patient that Remus kind of dreaded the day his patience would be up. "Thanks, Sirius."

"What?"

"Thanks for everything," said Remus, extending his arm to close his curtains. _And sorry for everything. Sorry for doing this to you... for treating you like this. I'm sorry I can't be the guy you want me to be. I can't give you what you want._

"What do you mean by that?" asked Sirius, confused.

"Just thanks," he said. "Don't think I don't appreciate every single thing you do for me."

"I never think that."

"Even if I'm not saying it, I'm thinking it-"

"Moony, I know," Sirius assured him. Remus looked really sad. "Are you okay?" he asked Remus.

"I want to be," Remus whispered, more to himself.

"What?"

"I'm okay."

Sirius looked at his face. _No you're not._ "Can I talk to you? I need to talk to you," he said to Remus in a low voice.

"What about?" asked Remus, panicking slightly. "Regulus? I hope he got detention for stunning you."

Sirius grinned and nodded. "Jordan told me Pince gave him detention," he said.

"The first good thing she's done in her life!" said Remus, and Sirius chuckled.

Then he told him about the conversation he had with Regulus. "So he's definitely one of the spies, right?" asked Sirius, and Remus nodded.

"Sirius, this is good news, isn't it? He's on our side. He's in Dorcas' crew," said Remus happily.

"But it's also super risky... if he's found out, he could be dead, they won't let him go!" said Sirius worriedly.

"Did you think, when you were younger, that he's one of those people who would become a spy?" Remus asked him.

" _Not at all,_ he's so dumb and ...oh!" said Sirius, his eyes widening as he realised.

"See. He'll never be discovered," Remus told him, brushing Sirius's cheek roughly, and then immediately regretting it.

"Do you think it was all an act? The dumbness, I mean. Acting like he doesn't know anything," asked Sirius, smiling at the gesture.

"Well, no. I think he is, actually as you say. But there is also this sneaky side to him. A sneaky good side," said Remus.

"A sneaky good side?" he asked, chuckling.

"Yes," Remus said, grinning at Sirius. "I think there are quite a few Slytherins who have a sneaky good side to them. They're afraid to show it for the fear of being ostracised."

"I think you might be right," said Sirius. "Oh, did you find out if Dumbledore found out about the passage?"

"Dorcas didn't mention it in the meeting, she talked as if it hadn't found it, yet." Remus told him.

"We should ask her," said Sirius.

"Probably wait until she's calmed down a bit, though," said Remus, smiling. Sirius looked like he was about to say something else, so he quickly yawned. "I'm exhausted," he said.

"Go to bed, Moony," said Sirius.

"Goodnight," Remus said and closed his curtains.

"Goodnight, Remus," said Sirius through the curtains. "And don't worry about the moon, we'll explore the north section of the forest this time, and we'll tell you all about it the next day!"

"Okay," said Remus, trying to sound excited. _Stop being so nice to me!_

Saturday morning arrived, and with it, the big game between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, the winner would be playing Gryffindor in the final, two weeks later.

"Aren't you coming, Remus? It's gonna be fun!" said James excitedly.

"I have to read this. Slughorn said it would help me understand the theory," said Remus, holding up a big old codex. "And since I'm not talking to Lily, it's my only chance if I want to pass in Potions."

"You should go to the library, otherwise you'll just fall asleep here, I speak from experience," Peter told him.

Remus chuckled and got to his feet. "You're right. I'll come down till the Charms corridor with you guys," he said.

Sirius didn't want to go, he just wanted to stay back and talk to Remus. But he also wanted to watch the match, so he followed James.

"Well, come down if you want to take a break," said James when they reached the Charms corridor.

Remus nodded and waved to them, and turned right towards the library.

Hufflepuff had the strongest side ever, and they were easily overpowering Ravenclaw, scoring quickly. All eyes were now on the Ravenclaw seeker, Corner. She looked tense as she searched for the snitch, her eyes darting back to the other team's seeker every five seconds.

"It's too much pressure!" said Peter.

"She can handle it!" said James, as they heard the crowd in yellow and black cheer yet again.

"What even is Amanda doing?" said James. She somehow kept dropping the Quaffle.

Sirius felt Peter's and James's gazes on him. "What are you looking at me for?" he asked them and they sniggered at him. Sirius rolled his eyes. He'd thought he wanted to watch the match, but sitting in the stands, he could think of nothing but Remus. He wondered how to leave without attracting attention. Then suddenly everyone cheered, Ravenclaw finally scored.

"That was insane!" said James.

"Are you rooting for a Ravenclaw victory, James?" asked Robbie, from the row behind them.

James and Peter turned around to talk to him. "I guess!" James replied, laughing.

Remus blinked at the page in front of him. He understood nothing. _Why did the type of scales matter anyway?!  
_ Then he thought he caught a whiff of Sirius. He looked up and saw Sirius, standing a few feet away. "What are you doing here?" asked Remus uneasily.

"Want to take a break?" Sirius asked him, grinning and walking over.

"I just got a letter from the owner of that secondhand bookshop in Hogsmeade," said Remus. "He found that Arithmancy book I wanted."

"Perfect, let's go," said Sirius, enthusiastically closing Remus's book and holding it in his arms. As they walked to the one-eyed witch passage, they heard a cheer from the Quidditch pitch.

"Ravenclaw are getting thrashed by Hufflepuff!" Sirius said.

"What does James think will happen?" asked Remus.

"He's not sure," he replied.

As they slid down the earthen slide into the passage, Remus looked around the dark passage and panicked. "Race you to Honeydukes!" he said, suddenly getting to his feet and sprinting ahead.

Sirius took a moment to register what was happening, and then he set the book aside on the ground and ran after Remus. "This isn't fair at all, Moony! You had a head start!" he yelled as he tried to catch up to him. He heard Remus laugh somewhere ahead and grinned to himself. "Also, you have wolfie speed, I can't run as fast as you can!" he said to Remus.

"I'm not- you know, even if I wasn't a werewolf, I can still run faster than you, Sirius!" Remus shouted back.

"Haha, no way!" Sirius said, then he yelped, tripping over a rock.

"What happened?" asked Remus, skidding to a halt and turning around.

"Nothing, I just tripped," replied Sirius, taking out his wand and lighting it.

"Okay!" yelled Remus and started to run again. Sirius ran after him again, knowing he'd never catch up with him.

When they reached Honeydukes, they slowly sneaked out of the basement into the main shop. No matter how many times he'd been there, Remus couldn't help but admire all the different kinds of sweets and chocolates on the shelves. The two boys grinned at each other.  
They went to the bookshop and got the book Remus needed, along with two other giant books he couldn't resist buying. Then they bought some chocolate at Honeydukes. But they had to wait for quite some time before they could slip back downstairs again, because Mrs. Flume was walking in and out of the basement, bringing boxes of chocolate out. After a while, she received an owl order, and they slipped into the basement when she was busy with it.

"I would have beat you even if I weren't a werewolf, you know," Remus told Sirius, as they walked back.

"Somehow that doesn't seem believable," Sirius replied, chuckling.

"Why not? I'm taller than you, aren't I? My legs are longer. Or do you think that too, is a side-effect of my lycanthropy?" said Remus, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"What? I don't think that," Sirius said.

"Seems like you do. Sometimes I feel like that's all you guys see in me. The wolf," said Remus said rudely. "What am I without it? Nothing?"

"I never said that-" began Sirius, and Remus quickened his pace. "Remus! What's the matter with you?" he asked, hurrying to keep up with him. Remus said nothing, and Sirius pulled his hand and made him stop.

"Why are you picking a fight with me for no reason? You know I don't think like that at all," said Sirius, frowning.

Remus didn't answer, and they spent the rest of the journey back to Hogwarts in a huffy silence. When they reached the earthen slide up to the one-eyed witch's hump, Remus picked up the Potions book Sirius had left there and climbed out of the hump.

"You can give me two of the books, you don't have to carry them yourself," said Sirius.

"It's fine, I can handle it," said Remus.

"Why are you behaving like a child?" asked Sirius.

"You're the child," said Remus.

"Now that doesn't make any sense," said Sirius, smiling.

"You don't make any sense," said Remus, stepping onto a staircase, but it started changing. "Ugh, that is not the way I want to go, you silly staircase," he said. The staircase stopped at the wrong wing, but Remus got down anyway. Sirius followed him.

"Go back to the game," Remus told him.

"I-"

"I'm going to the library," said Remus.

"Okay."

"You hate the library, why are you coming?"

"Because I want to!" said Sirius.

"Fine!" said Remus, and nearly tripped. "Drat." One of his shoelaces had come undone.

"Let me do it, you have books," said Sirius, kneeling in front of him and holding the shoelaces. But he didn't tie them yet. _It's now or never, Padfoot. And he can't run away because I have his shoelaces in my hand._

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus asked, and he looked up at him.

"Remus," Sirius's heart felt light and weak.

"Yeah?"

"There's this thing…"

" _Yeah?_ "

"There's this thing I have to say. I tried not to say it and just keep quiet… but I couldn't. I tried to say it, but I couldn't. Ugh I can't say it, but I can't _not_ say it! I can't stay, I can't go. I can't stop thinking about it!" Sirius said. He didn't care about anyone catching him in this odd position, the whole school was at the game anyway.

"Then don't say it," said Remus quickly.

"It's about you," said Sirius.

"Me?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah."

Remus looked so worried that Sirius felt very nervous. His hands were suddenly sweaty.

"I just... you're so- you know how love is," he mumbled. "Okay, maybe you don't. Ugh… you've read about it in books, I'm sure. Either way, love is like- like Regulus when he was a baby."

"Love is like Regulus?" said Remus. He wasn't expecting that. "That's sweet. You love Regulus, after all, I knew you had it in you-"

"No!"

"You don't?"

"Ufff, yes, I love Regulus. But you're missing the point!"

"And it is?"

"Love is like an annoying crying baby that won't shut up."

Remus looked down at him incredulously. "Wow. Literally _wow_ , Sirius. You've got to be the first person on this planet who's made that kind of comparison. Maybe I should write this down. For posterity."

"You do that. But it's true. Love is like a crying baby that won't shut up. it's so annoying and all-consuming, that you just _have_ to give it what it wants."

Remus felt butterflies in his stomach, in spite of his dilemma. "Right," he whispered.

"I honestly don't think there's a single person on this planet, no matter how great or strong they are, or what they've compared love to, who has been able to resist it," Sirius continued.

 _No, don't say it. Please don't say it._ Remus swallowed. "Sirius, listen-"

"Moony. Just try to understand, just don't hate me. I'd die if you stopped talking to me again."

Remus nodded. "I won't. But listen, don't-"

"I love you," said Sirius, looking directly into Remus' eyes.

"I know," said Remus, looking out of the window in front of him. He felt like crying.

But Sirius shook his head. "No. I'm _in_ love with you... have been since forever," Sirius was saying, but Remus saw a flutter of movement from the corner of his eye, turned and froze. Sirius turned too.

Remus moved his mouth like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how. _Professor McGonagall_ was looking at the two of them with a subtle but odd expression, that neither of them thought they would ever witness appearing on her visage.  
 _Black and Lupin? I guess we should've seen this coming.  
_ She watched Lupin's face tinge with the lightest pink as he nudged Black with his foot gently, and he came to his senses.

"Oh, sorry!" said Sirius, tying the laces quickly. "I'm sorry, we'll get out of your way." Then he jumped up and stood beside Remus, and she swept past them without a word.

They stood like that, long after she was gone. "I can understand your silence," Sirius said, and Remus glanced at him. "To be honest, I was prepared for this," he added, with his eyes on the floor.

"Sirius-" said Remus, and he looked up at him.

"Have you never felt anything? Not even _once_?" he asked, and Remus' heart broke. He looked away, out of the window again, and shook his head.

"Don't lie, why are you lying?" asked Sirius.

"Fine, I'll tell you the truth now, I don't think this can happen," said Remus. He didn't think he could look at Sirius' expression.

"Did I do something wrong?" Sirius asked.

"No."

"Tell me what's wrong. Did something happen? Just tell me," said Sirius and put his hand on his elbow.

Remus closed his eyes and jerked his elbow out of Sirius' grip. "Just go."

"You always do this. Either you run away, or you push others away. Why can't you ever face your issues? Just tell me!"

"I don't like you. Happy now?" said Remus, and felt his heart turn to stone.

"Did you just ask me if I'm _happy_ now?" Sirius asked, getting really angry.  
 _Why is he doing this? He's clearly lying._

Before Remus could reply, they heard a cackling laughter approaching at a high speed. "Oh no, Peeves!"

The two boys ran up the corridor and took a left turn, hoping Peeves would go the other way, but unfortunately, Peeves caught up to them.

"Oh look, it's Blacky Black and Loopy Lupin!" he squealed excitedly and started throwing ink pellets at them.

"Oh God, no! Peeves, stop it!" shouted Sirius, as they ran, dodging the ink pellets.

"Loony, loopy Lupin, loony loopy Lupin!" Peeves said in a sing-song voice and threw a bunch of them at Remus. One of them hit him right in his face. Finally, they reached Flitwick's office, and the professor sent Peeves away.

"Thank you, Professor," said Remus, as the professor vanished the ink from his face. But Sirius didn't wait for the professor to vanish the ink, he just left, and when Remus got back to the dorm, Sirius was sitting on his bed. He glared at Remus and turned his back to him. His neck and hair, and the top of his jumper were covered in ink.

"You have ink in your hair," Remus informed him. He didn't respond. "So you're not going to talk to me now?"

Sirius turned around angrily. "No, I'm not going to talk to you, because you're a nutcase, Moony! You're a _lunatic!_ " he exclaimed.

"Did you just make a werewolf pun?" asked Remus. Sirius turned his back to him again. "Fine, be like that!" yelled Remus.

"Fine!"

After some time, they heard the masses of students climbing the stairs. The match was over. The door opened and James and Peter walked in, beaming. "Hufflepuff absolutely destroyed Ravenclaw! It was epic!" James announced loudly.

"Whoa! You're going to be playing them next, James. How do you feel?" asked Remus, smiling a little.

"I'm not so sure we can beat them," said James, sitting down on his bed.

"Really?" he asked. James was always so confident.

"Well, I don't know if one good chaser will be enough, you know. All their chasers are bloody good. It'll be up to Compton now, to stop them from scoring a thousand points!" he said, plonking down on his bed.

"But if our seeker catches the snitch early-" Peter began.

"That'll be up to luck! She can only catch it only when she finds it, right? Also, I don't think I'd want the entire game on her shoulders, that would be unfair," James told him, changing out of his Gryffindor jumper.

"Yikes, of course not," said Peter. "So did you get some studying done, Moony?"

"Well.." said Remus, showing them the potions book.

James walked over and took the big book from his hands and looked it over. " _Speculations and Postulations on Potion-making_? What even is this book?" he asked. "Oh my, this chapter contains stuff written by Queen Semiramis and Agrippa!"

"It's the book Slughorn recommended to me, since I am so bad at Potions. He reckons, if I read this, I'll understand what Potions is all about, and I'll be able to scrape an _Acceptable._ Maybe." Remus replied.

"Remus, I don't know about that, it looks to me as though this book's sole purpose is to further confuse the reader," said James, frowning and closing the book.

"Don't- Ugh, I didn't note what page I was on!" Remus said.

"Oops, sorry."

"Never mind. Sirius and I also went to Hogsmeade and got a few books," he told them. Sirius looked at him stony-faced.

"You kept that quiet! Did you bring back some chocolate?" asked Peter excitedly. "I'm starving."

"Yep, that's why we're going down for lunch now," said James. "Come on."

James and Peter went down the stairs, but Sirius didn't move. "Lunch. Come on," said Remus, and Sirius stood up and followed him, still stony-faced.

"Please don't be like this," said Remus.

"I'm so mad at you, Moony."

"Get over it. We are always fighting, we should try and be civil for the others' sake," said Remus.

"Get over it?! Don't tell me how to live my life, I'll be how I want to be!" Sirius replied. Remus sighed.

When they stepped out of the Portrait hole, Peter noticed Sirius' face. "Oh no, don't tell me you two are fighting again," he said and sniggered. "What's going on?"

"Ask him," said Remus.

Sirius didn't say anything.

"You two love fighting with each other so much, that you just need any lame excuse now!" Peter said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, you're right, I'm sure it's something silly," said James, and Sirius scowled.

A week and a half passed, and still, Sirius refused to talk to Remus. Remus didn't blame him, it was his own fault. Midnight on Thursday, Sirius sat on a stool beside James, trying to listen to Professor Sinistra's lecture on magical nebulae. But he got continually distracted by Remus, who was staring at the moon, deep in thought.  
 _I wonder what he could be thinking about._ _The upcoming transformation, maybe? Poor Moony_.  
Remus's face shifted a little, the moonlight throwing the scars on his face into sharp relief. He suddenly felt protective of him, and had to resist an urge to run his hand over Remus' face. Because there were other people there.  
 _What are you doing? What are you afraid of? Why won't you tell meeee…  
_ Sirius closed his eyes to stop himself from staring at Remus. Remus was like a drug... the more he experienced him, the more he craved him.

He wasn't alone in feeling this way. Remus could feel Sirius staring at him, and he felt like he was some kind of an courthouse who'd bestowed Sirius this weird prison sentence. He missed him so much, it felt like his soul was slowly slipping away. Sirius' face wouldn't leave him alone, even in his dreams. He wanted to forget him. Forget this thing ever started. But trying to forget Sirius was like trying to forget himself, not a thing that was likely to happen.  
 _But that wretched dream, though! Let my soul slip away! Let it destroy me... but I won't hurt Sirius. Why is this happening to me?_ He shook his head.  
 _Why the fuck did I think that I could ever be in a relationship? How the hell was I so happy at the Potters? I should never have listened to Nyctimus. I should've known... should have known that the wolf would rule my life forever..._


	48. Nebulae

"...when stars die, but recently, astronomers have discovered that nebulae do in fact contain primordial magic, but no one knows if it's possible or not to harness it yet- Mr. Potter, what may I ask are you doing?"

Everyone looked around. James was surrounded by what appeared to be clouds of gas and conjured rock.

James hurriedly waved his wand and the whole thing vanished. "Sorry professor, I was listening to you describe the nebulae and...it just happened. I didn't realise I was doing it," he said to her. The professor looked confused.

"It was a nebula, professor," Sirius told her.

She nodded and went back to her lecture, but after class, she asked the two of them to stay back. "Can you do it again?" she asked James.

"Pardon?"

"Can you show me how to cast that replica of a nebula? This is the first time I've seen anything like it!" the Professor asked excitedly.

"I'm not sure, I didn't really realise I was doing it," James told her.

"Well, how about you try it again in your own time, and tell me if you succeed?" she said.

"Okay, professor. I'll try, definitely," he said.

She dismissed them, grinning happily, but then she called him back again. "I know it's late at night, but that doesn't excuse you from not following the dress code, Mr. Potter," she said to him.

James looked down. "Oh, sorry," he said and buttoned topmost button on his shirt.

Sirius laughed. "You never follow dress code," he said, as they started down the stairs. "But you've managed to charm Sinistra as well! She's a fan of yours now, Prongsie!"

"Forget her, I saw you staring at Remus the whole time," he said, grinning broadly.

"What? No, I wasn't!"

"Don't lie, you can't keep your eyes off him!" James teased.

"Oh no, he must have sensed it," said Sirius, angry at himself.

James rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he doesn't mind."

After a while, as they were nearing Gryffindor Tower, James looked at Sirius, who seemed deep in thought. He poked him.

"What?"

"Have you talked to him?"

"You know, I thought he was mad at me about the whole Amanda thing, but it's not that," said Sirius. "Clearly there's something else."

"That's what I meant. You should ask him."

Sirius sighed. "He doesn't want to talk about it."

James looked at Sirius, scratching his head. "Hmmm... maybe it has something to do with that nightmare he had at home."

"What _nightmare_?!" Sirius asked worriedly.

"Er…"

"James, just tell me!" he said, putting his arm out in front of James and stopping him.

"Look, if he didn't tell you, then-"

"James, you're gonna tell me right now!" Sirius said, holding onto James' collar.

"Alright, alright! Merlin!" James said, removing Sirius' hands. "Jani told me that she'd seen him sitting on the staircase at four in the morning, so I asked him about it. He said it was a stupid nightmare. So, I told him to talk to you, and I just assumed he did, so I never asked him about it again!"

"What! Why didn't you ask him what it was about?" asked Sirius.

"Do I look stupid? Of course I asked! Obviously, he didn't tell me."

The Fat Lady cleared her throat. "Are you going to give me the password or should I just wait for you to finish your conversation?" she asked mockingly.

" _Mimbulus Mimbletonia_ ," said James, and stepped through the Portrait hole. "You know what to do."

Sirius nodded.

A couple of days later, Remus awoke in the morning to the sound of Sirius and Peter discussing rather loudly about the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee. "Almost none of their excuses are ever truly muggle-worthy. I think the jobs in that should be reserved solely for Muggleborns," said Sirius.

"That wouldn't be fair, wouldn't it?" Peter asked.

"Sirius makes a good point," said James. "The Muggle-worthy Excuse they provided when that Muggle bank claimed a robbery..."

"Turns out it was just Leprechaun gold," finished Sirius, grinning. "But you're right, what I suggested is not really fair, because who knows? there might be a Pureblood who can give really good, Muggle-believable excuses, and we may never know if it was only reserved for Muggleborns."

"Not to mention, if such a rule ever came to place, some butt-hurt Purebloods might protest, citing racism," said James.

"Ugh, my grandfather Arcturus is always writing to the Minister, he's always complaining about things like that," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "He'd be first in line to 'show his displeasure'."

"Do they really hate Muggles so much, Sirius?" asked Peter. Such things made him nervous, he was a half-blood and he hoped he would never encounter Arcturus Black.

"Yeah, they-"

"Will you stop talking so loudly, for Godric's sake!" said Remus, pushing his curtains aside roughly. "And shut the bathroom door, it smells like you've done a poo right beside my bed!"

The other three stared at him, and he looked at their faces and slowly turned his face to the bathroom door. It was closed.

"We were actually talking quite softly, Moony," said James. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Fine," said Remus, as his head reverberated to the sound of two third years running up the stairs outside. Sometimes, when Remus got extremely sad, the wolf inside Remus would sometimes go into overdrive and Remus would experience a type of sensory overload. He would hear every sound in his vicinity, he would smell every smell, in great detail. Normally, he would be able to maintain a field of focus where he would experience the sounds and smells inside of that field, and be able to project his senses outside the field if necessary only. But the sensory overload warped the field. Everything around him became the field of focus. He heard everything and smelled everything.

"I didn't take your quills, I already told you!" he heard a shout from two floors above, and groaned. _Oh no._

"That sense overload, huh?" asked Peter sadly, as Remus winced. Someone had dropped a book on Frank's room.

"It's fine, I'm fine," said Remus, stuffing some cotton in his ears and standing up. "It's going to be just fine." he walked over to the bathroom and shut the door slowly.

"It's gonna be a long day for Remus today," said James, and Peter nodded grimly at him. Sirius said nothing.

"I wish Claire wouldn't wear so much Lychee lip gloss," mumbled Remus, covering his nose as a group of fourth year girls walked past them on the way to breakfast. James chuckled softly.

"I wonder how it would feel to kiss those lips," whispered Peter.

"Mmmm, lychee goodness!" said James, and they laughed. Sirius couldn't help chuckling too, but stopped as soon as he saw Remus press the cotton more deeply into his ears.

"You sure you want to come to the Great Hall? We could get some toast for you, just go to Charms," said Peter.

"I'll give it a try," said Remus. "I have the cotton in my-" He couldn't speak. They were not even near the Great Hall, they were just in the Entrance Hall, but he could already smell all the eggs and bacon and baked beans. The smell of coffee stung his nose. He winced as he heard the squelching sounds of hundreds of mouths chomping and chewing, he heard erratic snippets of their conversations from all directions, "I'm late, I was supposed to get it yesterday," "I knew it, you're pregnant!" "Shut up!" ... "Atchoo!" ... "It's the latest model in Sweden, Swedish brooms have better acceleration than British ones,"... "Happy Birthday Andrew!" ... "Of course I'm joining the Ministry next year!" ... glug glug glug ... "It belongs to Curry." ... "called a pencil." ... "Take it, you'll feel better"... "Horace has a sore ankle from trying to escape some angry unicorns in the Forbidden Forest apparently!"  
 _Wait, what?!_  
"Squash it, it's running up your arm!" ... chomp chomp, chew, swallow, "No, please don't tell her, she'll hate me!" ... "Yes, Minerva, one of the ingredients of the Wideye Potion is Wolfsbane." "What?! How did Mr. Lupin-"

"Okay!" yelled Remus, doing an about-turn. He'd heard all this and more in the span of three seconds and he didn't want to know more. He especially didn't want to stay listen to Minerva find out about that stupid day in third year where Professor Slughorn gave Remus a detention for opening his book bag too loudly and sent him out of the class. The others had protested but Remus had left. It was not until Slughorn had written the ingredient list on the blackboard and they'd realised why he'd done that.  
"I'm going to Charms! Just bring me some toast, thanks!" he told the others and left.

"Okay, will do," said the other three, and watched him go up the stairs. He was covering his ears as tonnes of students were coming down the stairs. Even their footfalls were too much for him.

"Poor Moony," said Peter, as they walked into the Hall. James nodded, wishing he could do something for him.

"Why don't we ask Madam Pomfrey? She must have _something_ for this, right?" said Sirius.

"He had this sensory overload only twice before," said Peter. "The first time he was at home, and the second time was after the Snape incident."

"What?" said Sirius morosely. Then he wondered. _Remus must have been really sad at that time. Wait, what if he's sad now? Oh no, what's he sad about?_

"Madam Pomfrey gave him a potion that made his brain really sluggish and slow," said James. "I don't he'd want to take that potion if he wants to attend classes."

"He really is an idiot," said Peter. "We should tell him to go to the Hospital Wing."

"Yeah."

"Here you go, Moony," said James, placing a stack of heavily buttered toast in his lap. Remus nodded in thanks and started eating.

Remus sighed as his other classmates started arriving, but it was still better than an entire castle-ful. The lesson began, and Professor Flitwick's slightly squeaky voice was starting to make his head ache. He wanted to bring his hand to his head to massage it a bit, but he knew if he did that, the others would get concerned. So he didn't. Then after a few minutes, he was startled as he felt James' hand close around his right wrist.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm ..." James had started replying, he could see his mouth move, but instead of hearing that reply, he heard Marlene's whispered explanation to Alice about why a double date was a bad idea.

"What did you say?" asked Remus, blinking and trying to bring his concentration back to James, and at the same time, wondering if he should continue listening to that explanation. Knowing such important things was always good.

"I said I'm just checking your pulse, Moony," said James, and from that, he understood that they'd paid a visit to Madam Pomfrey before coming to Charms. He got annoyed.

"My pulse is normal," he said, shaking his hand off. James had an exasperated expression on his face which no one liked to see. Remus especially didn't like being the reason he wore that expression. "Okay, fine, check it," he whispered, nudging him and offering his arm again.

"Okay," said Sirius, who was sitting to his left, and before anyone could react or respond, took his left hand. Remus was surprised to say anything, he just looked up at Sirius' face, who appeared to be counting the beats, whilst keeping an eye on Peter's watch. James watched as Remus' breaths slowed down to a normal pace and his face looked visibly less strained. He turned away, trying not to smile as he focused on Flitwick's demonstration. When would his friends realise that they were meant to be together?

Remus, suddenly aware that he was staring at Sirius, he looked down and his gaze ended up on their hands instead, and he realised how the sensory overload was slowly decreasing... the surround-noise was lessening, the smells were fading... but then he remembered that dream, he remembered how he had frantically checked for a pulse in Sirius' left hand, but it had been in vain. There had been no pulse. And suddenly his heart rate increased so rapidly that Sirius looked at his face with concern.

"Remus, what's happening?" he asked worriedly. The other two looked at them and Sirius let go of his hand, making Remus feel both the human sadness at the loss of his touch, and a savage canine pleasure that he'd finally let go. He blinked in confusion as he tried to make sense of what was happening to him. It seemed like the wolf was feeling as if it had won a fight or something.

"What's wrong?" asked James, as he and Peter both leaned in.

"His pulse rate suddenly spiked," Sirius replied, trying to catch Remus' eye, but Remus couldn't look at him. He couldn't stand the tension. He suddenly stood up.

"Professor, may I leave? I'm not feeling well," he said, and everyone looked over at him. He hated that, he hated being the centre of attention in situations like these, situations that involved his health.

"Yes, you do look a little pale, you should go see Poppy, why don't one of you accompany him?" said Filius, looking at the other three.

James looked at Sirius, but Sirius knew Remus wouldn't allow him to go along, he was looking out the window drearily as Remus packed his bag.

"Pete, go with him," said James and when Remus and Peter left, James moved to sit in Remus' seat. "Sirius?"

"I don't want to talk about it," said Sirius immediately.

"Sirius-"

"We have no idea what's going on with him!" he then whispered furiously, disregarding his own previous statement. "His pulse was perfectly normal for almost forty seconds, then it suddenly spiked. I can't help but think it's something mental and not just a physical issue. I don't know what to do, this is so frustrating!"

"I asked him about it last night when you went to the Kitchens," said James guiltily.

"About the dream? What did he say?!" said Sirius a little loudly. Filius looked up at the two Marauders not paying a grain of attention to the lesson, but he didn't say anything.

"Shshsh!" said James. "First he got annoyed that I was asking him about it again. I told him that sharing what he experienced would make him feel better, but he said he was still figuring stuff out for himself."

"What? What stuff?" asked Sirius, now really confused. "I thought he had a nightmare."

"Yeah, it has something to do with the nightmare," said James. "Wormy was there, he asked him if there was anything that could be done. He asked Remus to let all of us help him, but Remus said that it was a hopeless situation and nothing could be done about it..."

"What? What else did he say?"

"He also said that talking about it further was useless and that it would only frustrate him, so we dropped it," said James.

"Oh," said Sirius.

"Sorry, I know you wanted to be the one to ask him about that dream again, but I think we've made him so guarded he wont tell you anything either."

The two of them sat lost in thought until Peter came back. "I think last night's conversation really disturbed him, and that's why he has the sense overload," he said, taking his seat beside Sirius. "I told Madam Pomfrey everything I know, even though Remus told me not to, and I thought he would be angry with me, but when I glanced at him before coming back, he looked like he was about to cry, I felt really bad."

James looked sadly back at Peter.

Sirius looked out of the window, he felt like crying too. Something was bothering Remus, and he felt like he was on the outside of everything, like a housefly trying to escape from a glass window. It's always demoralising to watch the housefly because when it enters through a window, it enters in a very straightforward manner. But then it forgets where it came in from, because it gets distracted by the glass, the glass is something the housefly does not understand. _Perhaps this dream is like the glass... distracting us from the real thing. All we have to do is find a way to be together, all I have to do is find a way out..._

Saturday gave the Gryffindors a big reason to celebrate. James' team had won the Quidditch Cup and everyone was going mental. They'd miraculously managed to beat the Hufflepuff team. The party in the Common room was loud. A couple of firsties were swinging from a makeshift chandelier and Lily and Jordan were trying to bring them down.

"Ronan, stop giving the firsties butterbeers! That's an order, otherwise, it's detention for you!" Dorcas yelled at him, and Jones stood beside her, trying not to laugh as Ronan attempted to explain the 'mix-up'.

Remus and James sat with some of the other team members, talking about the match, while Sirius and Marlene tried to put up a 'Congratulations!' party sign. 'Try' being the operative word here, because they were failing miserably. People couldn't usually work with wands well when they were tipsy.

James and the others laughed at them. "Maybe one of us should help them," said James, intending for Remus to go. But he didn't budge.

"Okay, I'll go help them," said Branimir, their extremely buff beater, and walked up to them.

"Need some help?" he asked Sirius, and he jumped at the opportunity.

"Just pick me up, so I can hang this thing," said Sirius. He was holding one end of the sign.

Branimir picked him up easily, and Sirius grinned at Marlene. James and Remus glanced at each other.

Sirius hung the sign and looked down at Branimir. "You have very strong arms, Hristov," he said.

"Thanks," Branimir replied, not putting him down.

"Whatever," said Remus, and walked away towards Dorcas and her friends and James stared after him. Then he got up slowly and walked over to Marlene, Sirius and Hristov.

"Can someone tell me what's going on here?" he asked and Branimir immediately put Sirius down.

"I was trying to make him jealous," said Sirius gravely.

"Right."

"Remus thinks he can do whatever he wants without giving me any explanation-"

"Remus? Ohhhh... now I get it," said Branimir, grinning.

"If you tell anyone, Hristov-" said Marlene.

"Chill, I get it, I wouldn't want anyone knowing if I was a Black either."

"And you think _this_ is the way to solve the problem?!" Marlene asked Sirius.

"I know what I'm doing, Marly, trust me," said Sirius.

"No, I think it's already working," said James, grinning at them.

"Let's get some more food, I'm hungry," said Marlene, and the four of them walked over to the tables where all the food was.

Remus watched as Branimir handed Sirius a butterbeer and was further incensed. _I know he's doing it to provoke me, but..._

He sat at Dorcas' side and watched them. After twenty or so minutes, Dorcas stood up. "Okay, time to go talk to Slughorn. See you later, guys," she said.

"Can I come with you?" Remus asked her.

"No, that's alright," she replied. "Have fun at the party, Remus." Then she left.

Remus looked over at them, Sirius was offering the three of them some chocolate. _That looks like dark chocolate...my dark chocolate!  
_ He walked up to them.

"Hey Remus, want some?" Sirius asked, holding out the bar, trying not to smile.

"Is that my chocolate?" he asked in a low voice, and Branimir felt nervous.

"No it's not, it's mine," Sirius replied.

"You don't even like dark chocolate, don't pretend," Remus said crossly.

"Erm," said Sirius, almost smiling now.

"Do you like dark chocolate?" Remus asked Branimir. Branimir hadn't expected to be asked anything, he didn't know what to say.

"Well?" Remus asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Um, I don't mind it," he said, knowing he was making the situation worse.

Remus narrowed his eyes dangerously., and Sirius nervously got to his feet. Then suddenly Remus lunged at him, and Sirius yelled and jumped out of the way. He scrambled to get away from Remus.

"I'm going to kill you!" Remus shouted and turned around and caught up to Sirius and punched him in the face. Everyone was astonished.

Then, Sirius punched him back.

"Is that all you've got?" Remus asked. And suddenly they were on the floor, wrestling, and the Gryffindors gathered around them and watched avidly. Lily pretended not to notice, and Marlene pushed her way to the front of the ring and yelled suggestions to Remus on how best to hit Sirius.

"The throat, Remus! Punch him in the throat!"

"Marly, you traitor!" Sirius shouted at her as he avoided another punch from Remus.

"Is that all _you've_ got?" Sirius asked Remus, grinning.

Remus was about to hit him again, but Jordan stopped them. "Stop this, stop this, I say!" he yelled, pulling them apart. "Lupin, _you are a Prefect_!"

Sirius grinned.

"I know what you were doing," Remus said, sitting up.

"What? What was I doing?" asked Sirius, getting to his feet.

"Fuck you!" said Remus and stormed out of the Portrait Hole. Sirius grinned at the other three gleefully and ran out after Remus.

"Stop following me," said Remus menacingly.

"I'll always be _dogging_ your steps," Sirius replied. "So what do you think I was doing?"

"You were trying to make me jealous," said Remus.

"Of course I was!" said Sirius. "But the real question is, why were you getting jealous? I thought we were just friends now? Best mates, you know."

Remus turned around and blinked at him.

"I know you got jealous of Hristov, and I know it's because you like me," Sirius said.

"No, I don't!" said Remus loudly. "And if you follow me, I'll hex you!" he added, pointing his wand at Sirius.

Sirius held up his hands in surrender and Remus left. He turned the corner and quickened his pace.

When Sirius went back inside the Common room, Peter laughed at him. "You should know better than to eat Moony's chocolate, Sirius."

"Who has the Map?" Sirius asked.

Peter shrugged. "James, I guess."

Sirius went up to the dorm and searched James' trunk. Just then, James walked in. "What are you doing?"

"Prongs, do you have the Map? Don't tell me Moony has it."

"It's in my book bag," said James.

Sirius found the Map lodged between two textbooks. "You know, this is really unsafe, anyone could read this," he said.

"Yeah, Peter was saying that last week as well. He went down to the Kitchens and Filch almost caught him with it, he said," said James. "We need to charm it, so only we can access it."

"Yeah," said Sirius, searching the Map for Remus.

"Check the library," said James.

"Library? If he wanted to hide, he wouldn't-" Remus was actually in the library.

James chuckled at him. "See, what did I tell you?"

"Does it look like he's in the History of Magic section? I can't really tell," said Sirius. "We need to complete this."

"Yeah, we need to."


	49. Jasminum auriculatum

Sirius stuffed the Map down the front of his robes and went to the library. The History of Magic section was odd, it had aisles which further divided into two sub-aisles. Sirius had never been in this section of the library before, and he didn't think _anyone_ had in several years. He looked in all of them, one by one, and finally found Remus in an aisle named 'Australasian History- Ancient and Medieval'.

Remus looked up from the book he'd been trying to read. "Sirius, what are you doing here!" he asked, sounding really frustrated. "Damn that Map. Why did James ever get that idea?!" Then he sidestepped Sirius to go out, but Sirius stopped him.

"Moony, wait!" he said. "Why are you lying to yourself? You can't live like this!" Remus looked away worriedly.

" _Moony_ ," said Sirius, taking Remus' hand. He knew how pitiful his voice sounded, but he didn't care. At least it was genuine. Remus turned around. "Please don't do this to me, I can't be without you," said Sirius.

I never said we couldn't be friends - We are still friends," Remus said.

"It's not enough, Moony," he said, pulling at the front of Remus' jumper and drawing him close. "I love you, _I need you_ … please…!"

Sirius' face was so close to his, he could see the endless, stormy sky in his grey eyes. His lips were inches away from his own. His scent was irresistible. Remus slowly brought his hand up brushed Sirius' cheek, and held the back of his neck. There was a moment of tense anticipation where Sirius thought he was going to push away again. But he didn't.  
Remus leaned in and kissed him. The sensation was scintillating, as if all the static electricity in their bodies had suddenly converted to current. They broke apart and breathed in the musty library air, Sirius put his arms around Remus' neck and pulled him close and kissed him again. He wanted this kiss to go on forever. Nothing else in the world mattered.

"Why did we wait this long?!" muttered Sirius in between kisses.

Remus thought about it. "Had a few reasons... can't remember any of them right now," he said. Sirius chuckled.

When they broke apart again, they were panting slightly. They looked into each other's eyes and smiled, neither able to believe that this was actually happening. Then Remus hugged Sirius tightly.

"This isn't a dream, right?" Sirius asked him.

"It most certainly isn't," said Remus.

Sirius let his hand slide down to Remus' waist. Finally. Finally, he was allowed to feel this way. Finally, he didn't have to hold it all in… pretend he didn't care… It wasn't wrong. He hadn't misunderstood. He hadn't gotten it all wrong. These happy things didn't just happen to other people, they happened to him too.  
 _Is it possible to die of happiness?_  
"I'm starting to love Ancient and Medieval Australasian History!" he said, and Remus laughed.

As Sirius and Remus stepped through the Portrait Hole, Lily and James were at it again. "-alling people the m-word behind your back, and then pretending otherwise if front of you, do you realise that?!" said James. He wasn't yelling, but it was loud enough, people were gathering around them again.

"I don't believe you," said Lily simply.

"Evans, you are so maddening! Do you even remember what they were about to do to dearest MacDonald in our third year? Do you?" said James.

"That wasn't because she was muggle-born! That was because they thought she was spreading false rumours! Which she wasn't! She never said anything about them!" said Lily. She was yelling now.

"Either way, it was Dark magic what they were using, and if Hagrid hadn't been there-" James was saying.

"All this has nothing to do with Severus! Aargh! Why am I even listening to you?!" she yelled, and walked past Sirius and Remus out of the Portrait Hole. James followed her out, and Remus followed him to stop him.

Inside, Sirius shut the Portrait pointedly on the crowd, and they dispersed rather rapidly.

"Evans, where are you going?" asked James.

"Don't you dare follow me, Potter!" she yelled.

"James, stop," said Remus, holding him back. Lily looked at Remus, but he looked away at James, and she stalked off.

"Will you ever give up on this?" Remus asked, and James gave him a look that told him everything.

"Okay, okay," Remus said, letting him go. They both leaned on the balustrade.

James was seething. "Evans is going to meet up with Snivelly again, I'm sure of it!" he said vexedly.

"And she's gonna tell him everything you just said," Remus told him.

"What!"

"What do you think, James? Won't you tell me if someone said something bad about me?" asked Remus.

"For Merlin's sake, that is the opposite of what I wanted," said James.

"Exactly. So you better stop this," said Remus, glad that James was listening to him.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," said James. "What I need is a change of tactic!"

Remus gave a frustrated sigh. _I give up._ "What happened to MacDonald?" he asked instead.

"Don't you remember? That was when we realised she was slowly morphing into Bertha Jorkins. I think she'd heard that Mulciber's parents were getting divorced...or it was some bad news like that, and she decided to ask one of her friends from Slytherin. I guess it got back to him and they decided to teach her a lesson. Fabian Prewett was there alright, he told me everything! Rodolphus Lestrange, Mulciber, Snape, they were all there. Prewett said he saw them use a hex which shot a kind of blackish purple smoke, and if Hagrid hadn't been there to pull her out of the way, there's no telling what would have happened to her!"

"Wow, I did _not_ know the whole story," said Remus.

"The real question is, where are they learning all these spells? Who's teaching them?" wondered James.

The four Marauders sat near the fire, eating pound cake. The party around them was coming to an end, most of the younger students were already in bed. Peter was relieved when he saw that Sirius and Remus smiling at each other. "Glad to know you two are talking again," he said.

Sirius chuckled. "We won't be fighting again, Wormy," he said, and James looked at him with a surprised face. Sirius simply smiled at him and he understood.

"Ha. Ha," said Peter sarcastically.

"We need to find that passageway, James. Let's start tonight. Smith from Hufflepuff and Jones have rounds today," said Remus, already making a mental list of things they needed to make sure of.

"Yeah, I know, I only waited till now, cos people will think it's weird if the Captain of the team is missing from the party," James said and chuckled.

"Right," said Remus, though he obviously didn't think that was important.

"I was under the impression that most of these pureblood families learnt all this stuff at home, I know they have libraries filled to the brim with books of dark magic. Just ask Sirius, I know his library at home has an extensive collection of dark arts' books," said James. Then he looked guiltily at Sirius. "Sorry, I know how that must have sounded."

Sirius shook his head. "You're not wrong, mate," he said. "But parents these days don't really teach their children all that much about dark spells when they're at school. But they do get further training after the graduate, I assume."

"Wait, are you saying that these Slytherins are getting out of the castle, and someone outside is teaching them spells?!" asked Peter, horrified.

"That's exactly what Dorcas said, Pete," replied Remus.

"I never even thought about that!" Peter exclaimed. "Merlin, help us!"

"We'll discover the passage and put a stop to all of it, Pete!" said Sirius.

"Your house has an amazing library! There are so many Muggle books there too! Shakespeare, Keats and even the _Geeta_! Although I'm pretty sure the _Geeta_ is more magical than many people believe..."

"You're rambling again, Moony," said James, and chuckled.

"What's the _Geeta_?" asked Peter curiously.

"Sort of like the Bible for Hindus," explained Remus. "I was just saying that I didn't have enough time to look around over New Year's, because of all the homework."

"You can come over anytime you want during the summer and check them all out," said James smiling at him.

"Thanks."

Later that night, four exhausted boys half-crawled into an unused classroom in the Dungeons. "Can't...walk…" James moaned as he ducked out from under the cloak and crouched on the floor. The other Marauders also stopped, removing the cloak from over their heads.

"My feet hurt too," said Peter, sitting down beside James.

"Let's take a break," said Sirius. He looked around in the pile of broken chairs and tables and pulled out a rickety but unbroken stool and sat on it.

Peter and James smirked at each other. "Too posh to sit on the floor," Peter whispered and James nodded.

"I heard that," Sirius growled and they sniggered at him.

"Deny it then," James said to him. "Go on."

Sirius rolled his eyes and they sniggered again.

Remus didn't sit down, he folded his arms and looked around the room. "I don't get it," he said, walking over to the back of the room and running his hand over the stone wall. "We've combed the entire area so many times-"

"Six times to be precise," Peter added.

"Six times. We've found those jail cells too, now we know what Filch is always going on about when he talks about suspending students by their ankles..." said Remus. The others chuckled.

"He's full on mental," said James.

"But we haven't found a single clue about the passageway," Remus continued. "Does it really exist?"

"Dorcas' spy doesn't have a reason to lie," said Sirius. Remus grinned at him.

"Yeah, well what I don't understand is, why the spy simply didn't tell her where the passageway is?" said Peter.

"Hmmm... maybe they just don't know," James said, massaging his feet.

They remained silent for a while after that and watched Remus examine the stone wall again.

"Aren't you tired, Moony? Don't your feet hurt?" asked Peter. "Maybe you should sit down for a while too."

"No no, I'm good…" said Remus distractedly. He put his ear to one of the stones and knocked on it sharply as if it was made of wood. "Hmmm…"

"What?" asked James, perking up with interest.

Remus listened again, and directed his gaze along the floor and to the doorway. "Someone's coming," he said and quickly walked over to the others. They jumped up and put the cloak back on themselves.

After a minute or so, a tall Slytherin Prefect came into view in the corridor outside. She was about to pass the classroom, but she spotted Sirius's recently vacated stool near the furniture pile and strode noiselessly in. She put her hand on the stool, it was still warm from when Sirius was sitting on it.

James and Sirius glanced at each other.

Then she pulled out her wand and scanned the room nervously. Her kohl-lined eyes were mesmerising. "Who's there?" she asked uncertainly.

Remus became restless and James put his hand on his arm to calm him.

Deciding that no one was around, she turned to exit the room, and to the others' surprise, Remus ducked out from under the cloak. "Salima," he called and the Prefect jumped.

"Remus!" she said, turning around and putting a hand on her chest. "You scared the shit out of me!"

Sirius covered his mouth to prevent himself from making a sound.

"Sorry," Remus replied, chuckling.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, looking left and right out of the doorway. "They're being more careful now, there's no chance you'll catch them red-handed, you know."

Remus didn't say anything.

"How did you hide anyway?" she asked him.

"Disillusionment charm," he replied simply.

"Damn, you're good. Will you teach me?" she asked eagerly.

"Sure, come here," he said and she approached him with avid anticipation. She was almost as tall as Remus. He flicked his wand at her head, muttering the incantation.

She flinched a bit as the sensation went through her body and then she gasped as she became the exact colour as the broken furniture pile behind her. "Wow!" she exclaimed and performed the same charm on Remus. It wasn't as good as Remus's charm, but he still changed colour slightly to match his background. Then she giggled as Remus reversed the charms on both of them.

"Remus, how are you so good at everything?" she asked him. The Marauders grinned at each other.

"Not good at everything…" he said awkwardly, and she smiled.

"But you are," she said.

"Really, I'm not," he told her.

"Tell me one thing you're terrible at," she asked.

Remus blinked, and the Marauders knew he was resisting the urge to glance in their direction. "Potions. I'm dreadful at Potions," he said to her, and she giggled.

"So I've heard," she said and smiled mischievously.

"Where did you hear that?" he asked quickly.

"Severus," she said.

Remus could literally feel the others bristle. _Oh no._

She chuckled at his expression, and held his chin between her thumb and fingers. "You're cute when you're annoyed," she told him.

"You smell nice," he told her.

"New perfume," she told him, releasing his chin and holding out her wrist for him to smell.

"Jasminum sambac?" he asked her, taking a whiff.

"auriculatum," she corrected.

"Ah. New smell," he said, holding her wrist and sniffing it again."There's something else... oranges?"

"No... just the auriculatum," she said, looking at him curiously.

Remus felt nervous. He let go of her hand. _I shouldn't have mentioned the oranges, that's probably part of her own scent!  
_ "What?" he asked her.

"Well, we do own Orange plantations down in Paraguay. Maybe I still have the scent on my clothes or something. I smell it all the time, so I guess I don't smell it anymore," she explained.

"...or something," he mumbled.

"You know, maybe you should become a perfumer. You have an acute sense of smell," she told him. He just grinned at her.

For Remus, everything around him was a crazy melange of scents. Becoming a perfumer would probably be too overwhelming.

"We should go to bed now," he said.

"Yeah," she agreed and gestured to him to walk out with her. He half-glanced at the Marauders and exited the classroom with her. Salima politely accompanied him until the Entrance hall and bid him goodnight. Remus waited until her footsteps faded away and went back through the double doors again. He almost reached the second floor down and ran into Sirius and Peter.

"Moony!" Peter whispered. "Glad you got rid of her!"

"Was she a Slytherin?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. "Salima Shafiq, one of the good ones," he told them.

"Ah," said Sirius.

"What?" Peter asked him.

"The Shafiqs are one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry, the what?!" asked Remus, laughing. Peter grinned as well.

"Urrgh...the 'Sacred Twenty-Eight' are a group of twenty-eight magical families who are all purebloods… I'm surprised you haven't heard of it," Sirius told them.

Peter and Remus looked at each other with incredulous expressions. "Forgive us for not knowing that there was a special name for all the stuck up purebloods," said Peter and they laughed at him.

"I didn't mean it like that... I'm not proud of it or anything. It's a pretty useless concept," he said quickly. "I only know it cos we were made to read the _Pureblood Dictionary_ when we were young."

They glanced at each other again. "What?" he asked defensively.  
 _It's not my fault I know all this useless information. I was forced to read it!_

Remus grinned at him. "Nothing, Padfoot," he said, ruffling Sirius's hair. "Sometimes we forget what kind of family you're from cos you're so normal."

"Lucky you. I can never forget," Sirius muttered. Forgetting that Peter was still there, Remus put a stray strand of Sirius' hair behind his ear. They he suddenly remembered and took his hand away. Thankfully, Peter didn't look like he thought that was odd.

"So is everyone in the 'Sacred Twenty-eight' like your family?" Remus asked quickly.

"Well, no. Frank's family's one of them. So are the Weasleys," Sirius replied.

"Oh," said Peter. "What about James?"

"No, they're not in it," Sirius replied.

"But they're purebloods too, right?" asked Remus.

"Yes," said James, taking off the cloak and opening the Map. "We are purebloods, but we are very pro-muggle, so we got kicked out a few decades ago," he explained, not looking up from the Map.

The others looked at each other.

"And we had to deal with a lot of fucked-up shit from some of the families on that list and, let's just say, it wasn't a cakewalk," he said, uncharacteristically grave.

"Yeah, I know, mate," Sirius said, putting his hand on James's arm.

James grinned at him. "It's fine," he assured him.

"I'm sorry, Prongs. I know my family were in the front line to discredit your grandfather-"

" _You_ didn't do that, you shouldn't have to feel responsible for that," James told him, patting him on the chest.

"But when you still feel bad for what happened to your family, why shouldn't I feel responsible for what my family did?" Sirius asked.

James's eyebrows furrowed. He didn't know what to say to that. He automatically turned to Remus.

"As long as you've acknowledged that it's wrong, you're good," said Remus.

James grinned. "See?" he said to Sirius.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah."

"On a happier note, the password's _Minotaur_ ," James said.

"What?" asked Remus.

"What a stupid password," Sirius said immediately.

"Hello? How do you- wait a second! Did you follow Salima?" asked Remus.

"Obviously. Now, let's go," said James, whipping around and leading them towards the Slytherin entrance.

"James, stop! Why are we going into the Common room?" Remus asked, already guessing the answer.

"To prank Snivellus, of course!" he replied. He checked the Map again and placed his hand on a wall and muttered the password. The wall opened up to reveal the entrance to the Slytherin Common room.

"Oh no! No way am I letting you-" Remus began, but Sirius gave him a shove to enter the Common room behind James.

"You didn't think we'd just leave him after he just made that dig at you, did you?" Sirius asked.

"Everyone makes fun of my Potions skills, it's not a big deal!"

"We already know where his room is," said Peter, excitedly. "It's gonna be easy."

Remus was panicking now. The others ignored him and turned left into a long corridor with doors on either side.

"James…"

James shushed him.

"But-"

"It's okay, look," James said, showing him the Map. "There's no one around."

"It not that... James... please!"

"This is the room," Peter said in a low voice, pointing at the Roman numeral five, stuck to a door.

Sirius and James exchanged evil grins.

"Wormtail, if you will," said James, gesturing at the door and Peter opened it.

They all peered into the unnaturally clean dormitory and Remus' whole body suddenly felt like it was being electrocuted. Current electricity comes in pulses, it has gaps. But this sensation was consistent, it came at him like a brick wall and he immediately backed away.  
James noticed and turned around concernedly. Remus looked stricken. He ran back up the corridor, but since it was thickly carpeted, it didn't make much noise. James checked the Map again and motioned to the others. They closed the door and hastened back to the Common room.

The Slytherin Common room had a big glass wall to the south side through which one could see inside the Black lake. Remus was staring at a sinister looking beast gesticulating wildly at him.

"What in the name of the twenty one hells, is that?!" whispered Peter, terrified.

"That's just a kappa, you numpty," Sirius replied. The kappa quickly swam away as the other three approached.

"What's the kappa saying?" Sirius asked him, grinning.

"He says I'll feel better if I go for a swim in the lake…" he replied dejectedly. "Lads, please please let's not prank Severus! For Godric's sake, please-"

"Moony, what happened to you?" James asked him, holding Remus' face in his hands.

"What? What happened to him?" asked Sirius.

Remus removed James' hands from his face and sat down heavily on a velvet couch. "Wolfsbane, James. He had wolfsbane in his room," Remus said in a low voice, hugging himself.

"That insect!" whispered Sirius angrily.

"Why? He doesn't want me to enter his room. How is that his fault?" Remus asked him.

Sirius looked mutinous, but didn't argue.

"I won't be surprised if the slimeball's walking around with his pockets stuffed with wolfsbane," Peter said, folding his arms.

"I wouldn't blame him," Remus said.

"I told you not to talk that way," James told him.

"It's not that, Prongs. Just _fucking_ put yourself in his shoes for once!" Remus whispered vehemently, standing up and walking over to a large stone fireplace.

James stared at him for a few moments. "You're right. We'll drop it," he said finally.

"Good," Remus said.

"For now," James emphasised, but Remus didn't respond. He stared at the fireplace for a few moments, it had died out some hours ago. He bent down and looked up the chimney. Then he turned and looked at the others with an curious expression. "Do you guys know where the smoke goes, since we're underground?" he asked.

"There must be a duct leading- Merlin's pants! What if the secret passageway starts from the Common room!" said James, a bit loudly. Peter and Remus shushed him.

"Golly! We never thought of that!" said Peter excitedly.

"Yes, of course! Surely, Salazar Slytherin would have made at least one secret passageway leading outside directly from the Common room!" said Sirius.

"What if it leads to the Chamber of Secrets?" asked Peter.

"The Chamber of Secrets is a myth, Wormy," said James.

"Yeah, but what if it's not? What if he actually built the chamber and we just didn't find it yet?" asked Peter, his eyes wide.

"That chamber apparently houses a monster which eats muggleborns. Do you really want to find that chamber?" Sirius asked him.

"I'm not a muggleborn, though," said Peter. The other three stared at him.

"Yeah, but it might come out and eat all the muggleborns, Pete… you don't want that, do you?" said Remus, a little worried at Peter's statement.

"Of course not, I didn't mean it like that," Peter said quickly.

"Okay, okay, can we please focus on this passageway first?" said James.

"Yeah. Do you think it might be through this smoke duct?" Sirius asked Remus. Remus was still staring at Peter. "Moony," said Sirius, giving him a shove.

"Huh? No… the duct tapers a bit further above, it becomes too narrow to fit a human," he told them.

"How does the smoke escape then?" Peter asked.

"Felt a slight breeze on my face as I looked into the chimney, there must be a magical low pressure zone at the end of the duct," he explained.

"Er... didn't really understand, but okay," said Peter.

Then suddenly, they heard a door being shut.


	50. Phineas Nigellus Black's Portrait

James quickly straightened out the cloak.

"Let's get out of here," Remus whispered and ran towards the exit as silently as church mice, till they stumbled out into the draughty corridor.

"Who is up at this hour?" asked James, checking his watch. "It's half past four."

"Must be one of the seventh years, waking up to study," Peter replied and the others made noises of agreement.

"We'll go back tonight," said Sirius eagerly, as they made their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Padfoot, we've been up all night, now. We'll be exhausted by the time classes are done," Remus said.

"But this is so important!" he protested.

"If we are able to, we will," James told both of them.

They were able to. Despite walking around the school like inferi all day. They skipped dinner and went back to the dormitory to nap for a few hours. Sirius set a modified version of the _Tempus_ charm on his wand and it buzzed at one am. James woke up at the buzzing looked over at Sirius, he was still fast asleep. He threw a shoe at his face, and Sirius awoke with a yelp that sounded just like a dog.  
Remus woke with a start at the yelp and saw Sirius throw the shoe back at James. He chuckled to himself as it hit James' head.

"Ouch! I didn't throw it that hard! I only wanted to wake you up," James complained, rubbing his head.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I only lightly chucked it at you," James lied.

"No, you didn't!" growled Sirius, throwing his bed clothes aside and standing up.

"Sirius, wake Pete up," Remus said quickly before the argument descended into a wrestling match.

"Fine!" Sirius said crossly. Peter had to be shaken violently before he awoke.

"Come on, Wormy! Don't you want a share in the discovery?" James asked, and that made Peter get out of bed.

"But I'm starving," he complained, as they traipsed down the Tower stairs.

"Me too," said Sirius.

James sighed. "Fine, let's get something to eat in the kitchens first," he said.

After eating almost fifty sandwiches between the four of them and washing it down with orange juice, they thanked the house elf who waited on them and walked to the dungeons, James keeping one eye on the Map at all times.

"That orange juice reminds me of yesterday, Moony," Sirius said. Remus smiled. "It's really insane that you smelled orange on her clothes after her being away from home for months. I mean she probably only goes down to Paraguay during the summer months…" Sirius continued.

"I feel like it's technically impossible that you can still detect orange on her clothes," James said.

"It is," Remus said, and the others shared glances. "I mean, it wasn't her clothes… it was her..."

"Huh?" said Peter.

"Her body smells like oranges?!" asked James, slightly weirded out.

"Er... yeah," Remus replied, not meeting their eyes.

"Bollocks!" exclaimed Sirius.

"It's not, it's..." Remus' voice trailed away as they stepped into the Slytherin Common room.

"Now, where do we begin?" said James and the others looked around the giant room. It was going to take ages.

"Let's check the likely places... near the fireplace, behind bookcases etc.," Sirius suggested and they walked over to the nearest fireplace and examined it.

Peter was entrusted with the job of keeping an eye on the Map. He continually scanned it.

"What were you saying earlier, Moony? That Salima Shafiq smells like oranges?" asked James, chuckling.

"It's not funny," said Remus, slightly offended.

"But I'm sure even you think it's weird that someone smells like oranges," James said, as he tapped the wooden panels above the fireplace.

"Not really. Everyone smells like something," Remus replied casually.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"Well, everyone, human or beast, has their own unique smell, which has elements of scents found in nature. That's how wolves identify each other in a pack or how a dog identifies it's owner," he explained. Sirius grinned.

"Don't think there's anything hollow behind here, let's move on," James said, and they moved to a bookcase a few feet away. "Peter, you still keeping watch?"

"Yes, Prongs."

"Haven't you guys noticed the scents when you transform?" Remus asked them, pulling the bookcase from the wall.

"Well, we don't usually transform inside school," James said.

"You do," Remus said to Sirius. "What do I smell like to Padfoot?"

Sirius blushed and the others sniggered at him.

"Why are you blushing?" asked Peter. "By Jove, Sirius, you're an oddball."

"Come on, say it, don't be shy," said Remus.

"Well, what do _I_ smell like?" Sirius asked him.

Remus smiled. "You know how the earth contains various plant oils and by-products from microbes... when it rains, they're all aerosolised-"

James laughed. "So basically our Sirius smells like bacterial secretions," he said.

Sirius frowned. "Shut up, Antler head!"

"Yeah, shut up Antler head," Remus repeated. "Let me finish. You smell like the earth when it rains for the first time after a long, dry summer."

"What?" Sirius said, surprised. Remus nodded and made a expression indicating how heavenly he thought the smell was. Sirius chuckled, he'd never thought he smelled so nice.

"You know the smell you get when you open an old book? You smell like that, Moony," Sirius said, and Remus smiled to himself. "And sometimes you smell like chocolate too, but not always. It depends on your mood, I think," Sirius went on.

"That's really specific, Sirius," said Peter and everyone turned to look at him. "You must be really observant."

"I am, Wormy. Did you know, you smell like baked goods?" Sirius told him and Peter smiled.

"I do?" he asked.

"Yeah, you do, that's right," Remus confirmed.

"And me?" James asked eagerly, but then Peter gasped.

"Belby's on the move!" he said quickly transformed into a rat. James picked him and the Map up and they hurriedly exited the Common room again. They checked the Map, a few others joined him in the Common room, and the Marauders looked excited for a moment, wondering if they'd disappear off the Map, but they looked to be walking over to a table to sit and study.

"Ugh, time to go back, I guess," said James, putting Peter down again so he could transform back, and lead the way back to the Gryffindor Tower. "You really are a scaredy-cat, Pete."

"He's a scaredy-rat," said Sirius and chuckled.

"Slytherins are insane. Imagine waking up at half past three just to study for a test!" said Peter, ignoring the comment.

Sirius shuddered. "Oh, by the way, you smell like a tree, Prongsie," he said, grinning.

"A tree?" he asked.

"Mahogany, like your wand. But you also have basil-ish undertones," Remus elaborated.

"Nice!" said James, quite proud of himself.

"Exactly! I couldn't place that scent, but now I know!" said Sirius. "You're really an expert, Moony, that Shafiq girl is right, you could become a perfumer."

"I deal with scents all the time, it'll become overwhelming after a while," said Remus.

"I know, I just realised how you might feel in Herbology or in Potions!" said Peter.

"They're not too bad," said Remus. "The Great Hall was tough though, too many people-"

"Oh yeah, it must be!" said James. "And with the food too."

"I'm used to it now," said Remus.

James chuckled. "That's nice. What does Lily smell like?"

"Cherries," Sirius said.

"And how do _you_ know that?" James asked, rounding on him.

"When she slept over in our room after the Christmas party," he replied hurriedly.

"Hmmm, I smelled something different when you guys entered the dorm that night," James said to Remus.

"Really... Oh it might have been the bubble bath we swam in. It was Neroli-flavoured," Remus told him.

"Ah... but this is an exciting piece of information you've never told us about! Does every person have a unique scent?" he asked excitedly.

Remus laughed. "Yes," he said.

"What does McGonagall smell like?" James asked.

"Bog Myrtles," he replied, grinning.

"Dumbledore?" Sirius asked.

"Agar-wood."

"Slughorn?" Peter asked.

"Pineapples."

"Sprout?"

"She originally smells a bit coconut-like, like gorse flowers, but it's always masked by the odour of the manure she's always covered in." The others laughed.

"Sinistra?"

Remus smiled. "Like roses, it's great," he sighed.

"Kettleburn?"

"Dragon dung and elderberries."

"Horton?"

"Peaty."

"What about Marlene?"

"Celery and Beetroot wine."

Sirius laughed. "How do you know that?"

"My parents drink it all the time," said Remus. "Dad introduced it to mum when they first got married, and she's in love with it."

"Nice," said Sirius.

"MacDonald?"

"Toffee."

"Finbok? Don't say chickens, please."

"Peonies."

"Nice! Frank?"

"Roast beef, it's weird."

"Dorcas?"

Blackcurrants and cigarettes."

"She smokes?"

"Probably."

"Hey what about Madam Pomfrey?"

"Ooh, I know this one," said Sirius excitedly. "Fresh cow's milk!"

Remus nodded.

"Jones?"

"Chlorine... like a swimming pool."

"Interesting," said Sirius.

James chuckled. "What about Diggory?" he asked. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Curry leaves."

"Snivellus."

"Dried herbs. Kind of like potpourri, it's not bad."

Sirius frowned.

"Nyctimus."

"Not relevant," Sirius said, and James and Remus chortled.

"Bonfires," Remus replied, smiling to himself.

Going back to the Slytherin Common room again and again was super risky, they were bound to get caught one day. So James decided to keep watch on the Map. If James was determined to solve something, he would obsess over it. (Harry inherited this very quality, remember how he became rapidly obsessed with finding out what Draco Malfoy was up to in the _Half-blood Prince_?)  
After four consecutive nights of Map-watching, James saw a group of Slytherins, Mulciber, Travers, and Macnair gather on the northwest side of the Slytherin Common room, before disappearing entirely off the Map.  
"What the-!" he uttered loudly. But no one stirred. He climbed off his bed, walked over to Sirius' and opened the curtains. Sirius wasn't there.  
 _Oh no, is he with Remus? Merlin, this is so awkward. Have they really... advanced to that level already?_  
Nevertheless, James went over to Remus' bed and pushed a curtain aside slightly, with his eyes tightly shut. Then he opened one eye and peeked in. Remus was alone and happily snoring.  
 _What?!_ James looked over at Peter's bed. _Surely, no. He can't be in Peter's bed! No!_  
He walked slowly over to Peter's bed, his heart thudding.  
 _Please Godric, do not show me the horror of horrors._  
He pushed a curtain aside. Peter and Sirius were asleep over a chess set. James exhaled.  
 _Of course, they'd been playing chess earlier... what were you thinking, James! Shame on you!_  
James chuckled out of relief and slapped Sirius' face lightly. "Wake up, Pads," he whispered.

"Please, no," said Sirius.

"Come _on_ , Padfoot, I just saw something on the Map, Mulciber-"

" _Please_ ," Sirius begged. "I won't do it again, I promise."

James realised that Sirius was having a nightmare. "Pads, wake up, it's a dream," he said, shaking him.

Sirius only whimpered in response.

"Sirius," he said, slapping his cheek again. Sirius opened his eyes and blinked up at James, looking a little disoriented.

"Are you okay?" James asked him.

"Yeah, yeah!" said Sirius, sitting up. "Oh, we never finished the game," he said, and gathered up the chess pieces.

"Pads..."

"What?" asked Sirius. James watched him close the chess set and put it on the side table.

"I just saw Mulciber, Travers and Macnair stand here, then they just vanished off the Map!" James said, pointing to the very fireplace Remus had looked at on the first day.

"We have to go check it out!" said Sirius. "No, not when they're using it, we'll get caught. But we could go down and wait for them to get back!"

James nodded and grabbed his invisibility cloak. "Let's not wake the other two, we don't all fit under the cloak anymore," he whispered, and Sirius nodded. As they were going down the Tower stairs, James glanced at Sirius.

"James, I'm fine."

"Stop pretending like everything's fine, you were having a nightmare!"

"No I wasn't."

"You were begging someone, you were saying you won't do it again, and you were making sad puppy noises-"

" _Stop,"_ said Sirius, looking stricken. He clutched the railing for support. "I know that, alright. What is the use of discussing it? They never go away-"

James hugged him. Sirius smiled, actually feeling better. "Thanks," he said, emerging from the hug.

"Your welcome."

Then they began going down the stairs again. "Was I really making sad puppy noises?" asked Sirius.

James chuckled. "Only once."

They reached the Slytherin Common room and lay in wait, passing the time by having an intense debate about who was going to win the Quidditch league this year. After almost three hours, they heard a grating sound as the back wall of the fireplace moved aside and Travers emerged from the opening, followed by Mulciber.

"I'm going to bed. Make sure to reset the booby traps and seal the passageway," Travers told Mulciber and left.

After about twenty minutes, Macnair came out of the opening.

"What the hell took you so long?" Mulciber asked him brusquely and Macnair scowled.

"You know how Malfoy is," he said, and then he whispered an incantation to reset the booby traps.

So, Malfoy was involved in whatever this was, as well.

"I wonder why Lestrange was a no-show today," Mulciber asked, and Macnair scoffed. He muttered something as they walked back to their dorm room. James couldn't hear it, but Sirius gasped inaudibly.

After they were sure the Slytherins had gone to bed, the two invisible Gryffindors slowly checked their enchanted Map before getting to their feet and exiting the Common room.

"What did Macnair say at the end?" James asked.

Sirius looked resigned as he replied, "He said that if Lestrange cared half as much about training new recruits as he cares about wooing Bellatrix Black, that they'd be done by now…"

James gaped at him. "Bellatrix? Shit!"

"This confirms it, mate. Malfoy and Lestrange are death eaters, and now Bella and Cissy will be as well... or they probably already are."

James nodded gravely. "We need to go tell Dumbledore everything we saw just now. They're recruiting people... training them… Merlin, it's actually happening, isn't it?" he said.

Sirius didn't say anything. He already knew it was actually happening. He'd known it since he and Regulus had overheard that fateful conversation over summer. "Fine, let's go to Dumbledore," he said, and they took the shortcut to the -fig corridor, as it was the shortest path to the Headmaster's office. Just before they emerged from behind the tapestry, James checked the Map again to make sure there was no one around. Then he turned a page.

"Uh oh," he whispered.

"What, what?" Sirius asked nervously, squinting to look at the Map in the dim light of James' wand. James pointed to their dorm. Peter was pacing.

"Shit, they're awake, they're gonna be mad if we don't tell them we found it," Sirius said, and so they turned left instead of right and made their way back to the dorm.

"Where the hell've you two been?" demanded Peter as soon as they opened the door.

"Why didn't you wake us?" asked Remus.

"You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't have the heart-" James tried.

"Cut the crap. Do you have any idea how worried we were?!" said Peter.

"Yeah, we were about to go to Dumbledore!" said Remus.

"Sorry," said James, realising his mistake.

"So, where were you?" asked Remus.

"We found the passageway," Sirius told them, grinning.

"What!"

"Where is it?!"

"It's behind the back wall of that first fireplace!" James said excitedly.

"Oh, we were so close the other day!" exclaimed Peter.

"I know!"

"How did you find it?" asked Remus.

"No time, let's go, we'll explain on the way, we're gonna tell Dumbledore," James said, motioning them to follow as he walked back out the door again.

On the way there, Sirius told them what happened. "Bellatrix is dating a death eater?" asked Peter innocently.

"More likely, she _is_ one, Wormtail," Sirius said miserably, as they reached the Gargoyle guarding the stairs. "I actually think she's the one who made the introductions."

"Anyone know the password?" James asked.

" _Lamingtons_ ," Remus said, and the gargoyle promptly jumped aside.

"Sometimes I just forget how advantageous it is for the Marauders that you're a Prefect," James said, thumping Remus on the back as they stepped onto the upward moving stairs.

"The Prefects don't know this password," Remus told him, grinning mischievously.

James exchanged smirks with the other two. "You sneaky werewolf," he said, chuckling.

Sirius knocked on Dumbledore's door and a few moments later, they heard the Headmaster say "Enter."

James opened the door and they walked in. Dumbledore was wearing an embroidered maroon dressing gown over some pyjamas, and there was a pot of coffee on his table along with the many strange glass instruments. A couple of _Prophets_ lay to one side. He smiled when he saw their faces.

"I take it you found the passageway?" he asked, motioning to them to come inside.

"Yes sir, it's behind a fireplace inside the Slytherin Common room," James said immediately.

"Ah… from inside the Common room itself, Salazar Slytherin was a truly devious wizard indeed. How did you find it?" Dumbledore asked, gesturing to them to sit.

James glanced at Sirius, who swallowed nervously before recounting the whole adventure, careful not to mention the Map. Dumbledore paced as he listened to Sirius. They knew that there were some inconsistencies in his story, but the Headmaster didn't say anything about it. Instead he smiled and nodded thoughtfully.

"I can't believe that the _one_ good thing you've done for the school involves _sneaking around_ at the _dead of night,_ and following fellow students like a _disgraced ghoul_!" said Phineas Nigellus' portrait loudly. "This sort of behaviour is unbecoming of the heir to the Noble House of Black!"

Sirius frowned as he turned his head slowly towards the portrait. "Why don't you shove-" he started saying, but James elbowed him. It took all of Sirius's willpower not to whip his wand out and _Incendio_ the damned portrait.

"There are greater expectations from you, now that you're sixteen. You need to start acting your age," Phineas continued.

James awkwardly looked around at the other portraits.

"Tuck your shirt in!" the portrait of Eupraxia Mole whispered angrily to him, while the portraits of other past heads Basil Fronsac and Phyllida Spore shook their heads at him.

"I'm wearing pyjamas," he whispered.

"No matter, you're in the headmaster's office!"

James tucked his shirt in, scowling. He wondered why people around him were obsessed with his shirt.

"Phineas, please," said Dumbledore. Then he turned to the boys. "I'll take care of it, gentlemen. You may go now."

"But you have to block it now!" said James.

"And I will," the headmaster assured him.

"And you will expel them, right?" asked Peter.

"It's more complicated than that, Mr. Pettigrew," said Dumbledore. The Marauders glanced at each other.

"I don't understand, you're not expelling them? They could've been meeting death eaters… they could've brought them into the castle…" said Sirius vehemently.

"Such insubordination," they heard Phineas say, and Sirius turned to his portrait again. "You youths are always under the impression that only _you_ know what's best. When in reality, you actually have no idea what goes on behind the scenes," he continued.

"Oh, so you're under the impression that you do?" asked Sirius. He was very irritated now.

"In fact, I do. I'll just say this. If you think you know everything, you're in for a surprise, Sirius Orion."

"What are you even talking about?"

"I'm talking about your duties as the _heir apparent_ to the Noble and most Ancient house of Black, of course," he said and simpered.

"Do you _mind_ elaborating?" Sirius asked.

"That's all I can say… don't say I didn't warn you."

Sirius suddenly felt really _really_ nervous. When he looked up at Dumbledore, the headmaster was looking intently at him.

"Right," said Sirius, clearing his throat.

"Right. Coming back to the matter at _hand_ ," said Dumbledore, looking pointedly at Phineas Nigellus. "The main reason we can't expel these students, is because, if we do, they'll go and directly join Voldemort."

Peter shuddered at the name.

"It is my hope, that with proper counselling and punishments, at least one or two of them may be persuaded to give up this insanity," he said.

"Who does Dumbledore think he's kidding?! Does he think a few detentions and lectures are going to change their minds?" said Sirius angrily, as they walked back to their dorm room.

"I know. If you ask me, he should inform the authorities and send the lot to Azkaban!" said James, and Sirius nodded.

Later that day during Charms, when the whole class was busy with revising _Cheering Charms_ , James pulled Sirius aside.

"What?"

"What was Phineas Nigellus talking about, last night?" James asked him.

"I have no idea, he's mental, that one," Sirius replied dismissively.

"No he's not. I remember you telling me that he's the sanest portrait at Grimmauld Place."

Sirius sighed. "He is. But that doesn't mean he's not annoying."

"He was warning you, Sirius."

Sirius looked at James in the eyes. "I swear I don't know, Prongs. And to be honest, I really don't want to think about my house until I have to, okay?"

James nodded. "Yeah, sorry, mate. I forgot," he said. Sirius patted James on the shoulder and walked over to the other Marauders. James watched as Remus sent a _Cheering Charm_ Sirius's way and made him grin broadly.  
Something was going to happen when Sirius went home. He was sure of it, and it worried him.

Later, Remus and Sirius were sat at a table in the library, Remus was finishing a project he had for Ancient Runes with a girl named Balbina Woods from Hufflepuff.

"Still not talking to Evans, eh?" asked Sirius, as he lazily flipped through a book named _Hieroglyphs and Logograms_.

"No. I think she's angry with me too, for siding with James. But I don't really care," Remus replied, taking a look at the girl's parchment. "No, no, you've got it wrong again. Look, it has a kind of a curved tail, like this," he told her, and she nodded. "Do be careful, Balbina."

"Sorry, Remus, I keep forgetting we're doing it on Proto-sinaitic script and not Runes."

"Really?" asked Sirius.

"Really," Remus replied to him.

"Nah, I don't believe you. You miss her."

"No, I don't."

"Do to."

"I can't help it if James is right, can I?"

"So, she's the one not talking to you."

"I guess we're both mad at each other. Look Sirius, why don't you get started on the Defence essay we have, instead of wasting time?" said Remus.

"But you haven't started it either. The Marauders always do Defence essays together," he whined.

"Fine! At least go see what books we might need to borrow," he said, and Sirius slowly got to his feet, sighing.

"Okay, Lupin," he said, and sauntered away to the Defence section. Remus smiled to himself.

"So, er…" the girl began, lifting her heavily made up eyes, and Remus resisted the urge to roll his own. He could bet a hundred chocolate frogs he knew exactly what she was going to ask.

"So, Black… Is he seeing someone?"


	51. OWLs

**Warning: Talk of drug use.**

* * *

 _Yep. A hundred chocolate frogs to me!_ "No," he replied. Then he thought about it for a moment and added, "He's really not interested in dating right now."

The girl nodded. "What about you?" she asked after a while, not looking up from her parchment this time.

"What?" he asked her, still searching for a word in his book.

"Are _you_ interested in dating?" she asked directly. Remus looked up at her. She wasn't shy or awkward in her countenance, so Remus assumed she was asking for someone else.

"He's already seeing someone," said Sirius, walking over with five books in his hand, winking at Remus. "He has a girlfriend back in his village."

"Oh, that's nice. What's her name?" Balbina asked eagerly.

"We don't know," Sirius told her. "Never tells us, does he?"

"Oooh, why is it a secret?" she asked conspiratorially, and Sirius shrugged.

"The Marauders didn't even find out about her until Christmas!" Sirius told her, and Remus burst out laughing.

After the Runes project was done, Sirius and Remus walked back to Gryffindor Tower with a pile of books for the Defence essay. "Minnie wouldn't tell anyone about us, right?" asked Sirius.

"Maybe Dumbledore," said Remus.

"Why would they be discussing students' love lives?"

"I don't know. But when I met Dumbledore in the empty classroom last year, he asked me if I was hiding from someone. He knew about our fight!" said Remus.

"Really? Wow. Maybe they sit around in their silk robes, glasses of wine in their hands, and gossip about the students," said Sirius thoughtfully. Remus laughed.

"Oh, I still can't believe you slept in a classroom for four days. Were you cold?" he asked Remus.

"Not really," replied Remus, smiling.

"Do not _ever_ do that again."

James looked around the Common room for Marlene, but she wasn't there. So he accompanied Remus to the library, and there she was, reading a book about Billywigs.  
"Hey, Marlene, can I talk to you?" he asked her, as Remus wandered off to the Transfiguration section.

"Sure, James."

"Last night, we were in Dumbledore's office-"

"Why were you in Dumbledore's office?" she asked, grinning. "Surely, you lot were up to some mischief."

"Doesn't matter, but Phineas Nigellus was warning Sirius about something," he said, and Marlene's face suddenly became serious.

"What exactly did he say?" she asked him, and James told her what he said.

"What happens when you turn sixteen, Marlene? Is there an evil Black right of passage or something?" he asked her worriedly.

"Not particularly, Sirius never mentioned anything like that, but then..." she said, biting her lip worriedly.

"But then what?"

"Sirius is the heir, there's probably something he might need to do, you know... boxes he might need to check off before he officially inherits everything."

"Like what?"

"I have no idea, I'm sorry," said Marlene. James looked really distressed. "Oh, don't look so worried, James, Sirius can handle himself," she said.

"Can he?" he asked, and they looked at each other gravely. Then they watched as Remus approached them, his arms laden with books.

"Remus doesn't seem too worried about Phineas' warning," said James.

"He knows _nothing_ about how these old pureblood families work," Marlene reminded him.

"Oh yeah."

"Ready to go?" asked Remus innocently.

"Yeah," said James. Marlene stood up and walked back with them to the Common room.

"That's a lot of books, Moony," said James. "Here, let me carry some."

"Thanks, James," said Remus, giving him a couple. "The Hogwarts library is the best, it always has all the books I need, all the time," he said happily.

"Isn't it?!" said Marlene, uncharacteristically excited. "It's a wonderful place, not only for reading, but for a myriad of things!"

James and Remus looked perplexed.

"If you two heard what all goes on there..." she said, smirking like a maniac.

"Like what?" James asked.

"Francois Antoine was practising Cheering Charms in the library just earlier, and his charm accidentally hit a book in the Restricted Section. The book started laughing," she told them, and they all laughed.

"Please tell me he got detention," said Remus.

Marlene nodded. "Of course he did."

"Yes!"

"But he's a Prefect, why would he be practising Charms in the library?" asked James. "Isn't that the most important of the ten commandments of the library? 'Thou shalt not perform Magic in the library'?"

Marlene laughed. "No one has any idea what they're doing anymore, it's OWLs time, everyone's going slightly insane."

"That's true, Milla Larsen was taken with hysterics in our Arithmancy class yesterday," said Remus. "Madam Pomfrey had to give her a Calming draught."

"How is she now?" asked James.

"She's fine," said Marlene. "But coming back to the library, I've heard that several clandestine operations take place there," she said, raising her eyebrows dramatically.

"Are you saying people are doing drugs?" asked James, displaying his cluelessness yet again. "Because yesterday, Gareth Towler tried to sell me some powdered dragon claw, he told me it would make me clever for a few hours."

"You didn't buy that, did you?" asked Remus worriedly.

"Of course not, my brain power is completely excellent without the help of such aids," said James proudly. "In fact, it felt insulting that he even considered I would need it!"

"You'd be better off buying some Ganja off of him," said Marlene.

"Excuse me, Towler's selling Ganja?!" asked Remus. "I'll have to confiscate that." Marlene looked shocked.

James laughed. "You should know better than to talk about illegal things in front of stuffy old Remus here," he said.

"I'm not stuffy... I'm probably the worst Prefect in the history of Hogwarts," said Remus. "The things I let slide!"

"Please don't confiscate it, Remus," pleaded Marlene. "I need that stuff to calm down, I get anxiety."

Remus sighed. "Fine."

"You know, James, by clandestine operations, I didn't mean a black market trade, alright?" she said.

James looked extremely interested.

"I meant people snogging in its dusty aisles..." she said, and Remus understood what she was implying. She looked at him sideways, but he didn't say anything.

"It's very interesting if you think about it, even I didn't get the idea to take someone to the library to snog them," she said.

"Okay, fine! we get it, he told you," said Remus, smiling even though he didn't want to.

" _What?_ Oh," said James, realising what they were talking about. "Right..."

"Poor James, always the last one to know," said Marlene.

"That's not fair, why didn't he tell you, but not me?" asked James indignantly.

"Why did he tell anyone anyway, what a weird thing to tell," said Remus.

Marlene laughed at them. "I thought James was weird for getting angry about this, but you're weirder," she said.

"Why am I the weird one? Padfoot is weird for telling," said Remus. "Anyway, I'm sure it's because you're very talented at getting things out of him."

"He told me on his own!" she said. "Besides, he said _you're_ the talented one, the things you can do with..." Then she pointed to her mouth.

"Oh Merlin!" Remus exclaimed, blushing a little.

"It's natural to tell," said Marlene, shaking her head at them. "It means he's happy."

"Oh," said Remus. Then he smiled. Marlene chuckled at him.

"So why didn't he tell me?" asked James again.

"Trust me, James, you don't want to know these things," she told him.

"But I do!"

"Fine! I'll tell you something he probably hasn't told either of you yet," said Remus. James grinned eagerly at him. "Do you know what happened on the day of the Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff game? You will find this hilarious." And he told them how Sirius had chosen to declare his love, about the shoelaces and Minerva catching them in that position, James started giggling at this point.

"Oh, Moony, hahaha... I'm so glad you told me... haha... he would _never_ have told me about the whole 'love is like a crying baby' thing..hahaha!" James wheezed. Marlene clutched her stomach, laughing. Just watching them laugh was making Remus chuckle too.

"...on his knees…!" said Marlene, and they laughed all over again.

The Portrait Hole opened and Frank and Alice walked out. They grinned curiously at Remus as they passed.

"Don't ask," Remus told them. They chuckled and walked away.

"This is gold, Moony! I'll be telling this story at your wedding…!" James said, holding his tummy.

"I'll dance _all night_ at your wedding," said Marlene.

"Um, guys, we're men, I doubt we'll have a wedding, and also that's thinking too far-" Remus said, but James was shaking his head. He stopped laughing for a minute.

"I guess you don't see it, but _I_ see it. I've always seen it... you two are forever," he said.

Remus blinked at him uncertainly. _How is he so sure?_

"I'm so freaking happy, I'm _over the moon_... haha, get it?" he added, giving Remus a sudden hug.

Remus was at a loss for words. He just smiled and followed James into the Common room.

After that, James teased Sirius about it every opportunity he got, chortling endlessly. He dubbed it 'the Crying Baby' incident, and Sirius was annoyed to the core. "This is all your fault, he'll never let me forget it," he growled to Remus one day, during Transfiguration.

"Sorry Pads," Remus said, grinning guiltily.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, care to share to the class what you're talking about?" said Professor McGonagall loudly. They jumped and looked up at her.

Then James started laughing. Not secretly or silently, but loudly. Everyone gaped at him and the Professor looked affronted. Sirius put his fingers on his temple and Remus tried not to smile.

"Mr. Potter, if you don't stop laughing, I'll have to send you-" she began.

"Crying baby," he said weakly and continued to laugh.

Then her lips twitched and she _accidentally smiled_. The class stared at her, dumbfounded. Professor McGonagall had smiled. In the middle of class.

" _Professor_!" Remus said accusingly, and Marlene started laughing too.

"Not you too, Minnie! There's no respite!" Sirius said. James pointed at her and laughed even more, because she knew exactly why he was laughing.

She recovered in an instant and pointed to the door. "Out," she told him, the severe look back on her face. James picked up his book bag and sauntered out, still laughing. "And tuck your shirt in, Potter!" she added.

All around the class, friends put their heads together to discuss how amazing James Potter was. The Great Potter who could make even _Professor McGonagall_ grin in class.

Lily was annoyed at first, but she had been equally amazed as everyone else when the professor had smiled. She wouldn't even admit it to herself, but she thought it was pretty cool. She gazed over at the other Marauders, Sirius was hitting a giggling Remus with a book. She rolled her eyes. She'd been so mad at the Marauders that she had been completely ignored them. She completely pretended they didn't exist, even Remus. She was the most angry at James for bad-mouthing Severus, then she was angry at Sirius for whipping out his wand on her, when she had been trying to help him just earlier.  
 _The arrogance!_  
But she wasn't exactly sure why she was mad at Remus too. She had expected him to understand Severus' position better than the others, but it seemed he just couldn't. He had said nothing when the others were arguing with her, he had even sided with the others at one point.  
 _I thought Remus was better than that, but clearly, he isn't!_  
She was also angry at all of them for telling her what to do.  
 _Who are they to tell me what I can and can't do?! Such misogyny.  
_ She didn't talk to Remus even when she started missing their conversations. His dry humour used to make her laugh for hours. Their impromptu intellectual debates were the highlight of her week, and none of her girlfriends were like him.

One evening on their rounds, Dorcas told Lily about the Marauders' efforts to discover the secret Slytherin passageway. "To be honest, they were the perfect people for the job, they're always exploring. I don't think there's any other person who knows this castle better than they do, actually," said Dorcas.

"Better than Dumbledore?" asked Lily.

"Yes, I do think, better than Dumbledore," said Dorcas.

"Right," Lily said awkwardly. She was still salty about James' most recent efforts in his 'Tell-Snivelly-to-fuck-off' campaign.

"Hmmm, still not talking to Remus, I see?" Dorcas asked her and she shook her head.

"Well, did you know? They finally got together," Dorcas said.

"Black and Remus?" asked Lily.

"Yeah."

Lily started shaking her head, but then she remembered something. "Well, Marlene did mention something a week or so ago, but I wasn't paying attention…" she said slowly.

"Yes, dear old Minnie caught them as Sirius was on his knees, professing his love to Remus," said Dorcas, giggling.

"On his knees?!"

"Well he was tying Remus's shoelace," said Dorcas, and the two girls giggled.

"Sweet Jesus, finally!" said Lily. "What did McGonagall do?"

"Nothing, apparently. She just walked away."

Lily grinned.  
 _Oh, so that had been why they were laughing in class the other day._  
She felt happy for Remus. Then she suddenly missed him.

"You should talk to him," suggested Dorcas, as if she knew what Lily was thinking.

"Why can't he?" she said defiantly.

"Well I'm assuming _he's_ angry with _you_ , since he requested that you two not have Prefect duties together," said Dorcas.

" _Excuse me?_ " Lily was shocked. She had been thinking that she was the one ignoring him, but he was ignoring her?  
 _I mean, fancy that! What right does he have for ignoring me? I've done nothing at all._

"Oh, crap. You didn't know that, did you?" said Dorcas, scratching her head.

Lily said nothing. This was when the ego set in. It didn't allow her to go ask him what she had done wrong. It was out of the question, and it looked like the end of their friendship. The girls had tried to persuade her to go talk to him, they saw she wasn't the happiest. Alice had even tried to talk to Remus about it and almost got jinxed.

"Come on, Lupin. You miss each other, everyone can see that. Why don't you make the first move? Be the bigger man, yeah?" said Alice.

"You know, Alice. I recently learnt a jinx that brings on a week-long blue beard, are you interested?" he asked brightly.

"Walking away now," she said, and quickly got out of there.

A few days later, Peter asked Remus to proofread his Herbology essay. "Last essay before the exams, Remus!" he said, wiping his forehead.

"No problem, Wormtail," said Remus, taking the parchment roll. After he was done checking, he asked Sirius for his Herbology essay too. "You're brilliant, Sirius, I know, but you just make a lot of spelling mistakes, even you know this. Just show it to me," said Remus.

Sirius glanced at Remus nervously. "It's not here…" he mumbled.

"Well, bring it down then," said Remus impatiently.

"It's not in the dorm either," Sirius told him. Peter was nearly panicking, he knew Sirius hadn't done the essay for Herbology, which was due at nine, tomorrow morning.

"What do you mean?" asked Remus, confused. "Where is it?"

"Let's say I ate my own homework," he said, trying not to grin as Remus stared at him, open mouthed.

"You haven't started it? It's due TOMORROW!" he yelled. Some people looked over curiously, but most Gryffindors were now were quite used to Remus telling the Marauders off.

"I thought it was due next week," said Sirius meekly.

"Next week? In the middle of our OWLs ?" asked Remus, folding his hands angrily.

"Oh yeah, I did think it was odd," said Sirius.

"Pads, it took me a whole week to write it!" said Remus, holding his forehead.

"It's not gonna count towards my OWL anyway," said Sirius.

"So what? You're always doing this, you're always off gallivanting-" Remus stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. "You're coming with me to the library now, Padfoot," he decided, and got to his feet. "Have you decided on a topic or not?"

"Of course I have. I'm gonna write about Betony," Sirius said, grinning.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's go," he said and got to his feet.

"But it's past curfew," said Sirius.

"And when has that ever stopped us?" asked Remus, raising an eyebrow.

"You're right. See you lads later," he told the others sadly, and they waved at him, grinning gleefully. He followed Remus to the library.

The next morning, the boys struggled to wake Sirius up. "Sirius wake _up_ ," said James, kicking him, but he still didn't move. "When did you guys go to bed last night?" he asked Remus, who just walked out of the bathroom. Peter ran into it.

"Around half past three. That's when he finally finished his essay," said Remus, shaking his head.

"He's not even moving," James said. "One night of work and he's in a coma."

Remus laughed. After he put on his school robes, he walked over to Sirius and sat down beside him.

"Come on, Padfoot, you stay up later than this on Full moons," he said, shaking him.

"Mmmm… Remus, no," Sirius mumbled, opening his eyes at last. "I'm skiving off today. Tell them I'm sick."

"You're not sick, and it was your own fault you left it so late," Remus told him. "But you know, I'm so proud of you for working so hard to finish your essay."

"Yeah?" asked Sirius, sitting up.

Remus smiled. "Yeah," he said, and kissed his forehead.

"Aww," said James, beaming at them. Then Sirius grabbed Remus' face and kissed him.

"Aaargh!" said James, turning away quickly. Remus and Sirius laughed.

"What's wrong, Jamesie? I thought you said you wanted to know?" asked Remus, grinning at him.

"He said that?" asked Sirius. "Well in that case, along with my treatise of Betony, I can now present you with one on Remus' mouth-"

"No, no, no!" yelled James, trying to stuff socks into his ears. "I do not want to know anything!"

Sirius and Remus laughed. "Oh, by the way, Prongs, Moony and I discovered a new passageway last night!" said Sirius.

"Really?!" asked James, turning around and removing the socks.

"Yeah, you know how there's no direct path between the West Tower and the Ravenclaw Tower?" said Remus.

"Yeah?"

"But there is, there's a passageway!" said Sirius excitedly.

"Wow!" said James. "New passageway! Where does it start?"

"So, after I was done with my assignment, I was too high strung, you know how I get," said Sirius.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, so we went for a walk and we were in one of the abandoned classrooms in the West Tower-"

"Sirius decided to teach me Latin-" James chuckled at them. The thought of the two of them just happily spending time together made him happy as well.

"I wrote _Aperio_ on the blackboard, and it moved aside to reveal a black hole-"

"It leads from that classroom to the stairs to Ravenclaw Tower," said Remus.

"Awesome! Make sure to add it to the Map before we leave," said James. The other two nodded.

"And that passageway is where I studied Remus' mouth actually," whispered Sirius, grinning.

"I change my mind!" said James quickly. "I don't want to know any such details." The other two laughed again.

"Love you, Moony," Sirius said, as Remus unbuttoned his pyjama top for him.

"And you're... incredibly sexy," Remus told him, looking down at his bare chest.

"Thanks for that compensation," he said and laughed.

Remus huffed and threw Sirius's school robes at his face. "Get changed."

Finally, the OWLs were here, and the fifth years spent all day and all night revising, taking breaks only for eating and sleeping. Their first exam was Theory of Charms, which everyone agreed was easy.  
"I'm so happy that's over!" said Sirius, flinging his copy of _Achievements in Charming_ aside.

"But we still have the practical in an hour," moaned Peter, picking up the book again. Peter was completely terrified of the practical exam, Charms was Peter's weakest subject. James and Sirius and Remus managed to calm him down by telling him he was the best out of the Marauders at colour-changing charms. All the students gathered outside the Great Hall, and were called in by alphabetical order. It had already been twenty minutes since Sirius and Remus had gone in, but Peter thought they must have left from the other way, since none of the students were coming back out.

"Pettigrew, Peter," called Professor Sprout and Peter whimpered.

"You can do it, Pete! Luck is on your side," James whispered encouragingly, but Peter wouldn't move. "Pete, go." He still wouldn't budge, so James gave him a little push, and he started walking.

"It's going to be alright, Mr. Pettigrew, just trust yourself," said Professor Sprout. Peter looked at her as if she was a dementor.  
 _Oh dear._  
But it wasn't alright. The strict-looking Professor Marchbanks asked Peter to make a quill float. "A simple, basic charm, Mr. Pettigrew," she said.

" _Wingardium_ _Leviosa_ ," said Peter, and the quill slowly rose into the air.

Later on, Sirius and Remus found Peter crying as he walked into the dorm. "Pete, what happened?!"

"I poked Professor Marchbanks in the eye with a quill! She had to be taken to the Hospital Wing!" he yelled. "I'm failing for sure!" and he fell in his bed, weeping. Before they could walk over to him and comfort him, James ran in.

"Pete, McGonagall says you get a do-over, come on," he said, and somehow, he gently coaxed Peter to go back down and do his test again.

Their next exam was History of Magic, which went alright, except for the part where the exam had to be paused for five minutes because Buach Murphy had smuggled in a remembrall and got caught. Sirius felt terrible for the guy as he begged and pleaded to the professors, but in the end, his exam parchments were collected and he was sent away. "I already told you, people," said Professor Slughorn, looking around at all the students smugly. "Don't cheat, you _will_ get caught."  
James ruefully looked out of the window. The grass was so green, the sky periwinkle-blue... perfect flying conditions were going to waste while he was stuck indoors trying to remember the name of the wretched goblin who had initiated a rebellion during the time of Hesphaestus Gore, Minister for Magic in the mid-eighteenth century.  
"Vargot!" he whispered to himself, and started writing again.

Remus sat in his Herbology theory exam, frowning at question number nine - _State why metal gardening instruments shouldn't be used for Caldora._ Sirius turned around in his seat and grinned at him, and Remus smiled and started writing the answer, knowing he'd get full marks for it.

On Thursday, Remus had his Ancient Runes exam, and the others had a day off, and instead of revising for Potions like they were supposed to, Sirius, Peter and James went for a swim in the Black Lake, wasting the whole morning. But they didn't call it that. They called it a well-deserved treat. Lily wished she hadn't been fighting with Remus, cos she knew she'd have done better in the exam if she'd revised with him.


	52. The Crup

After lunch, all four of the Marauders sat down to study for Potions. Remus sat on his bed and nervously opened his book. _Draught of Living Death, huh? I'll soon be turning into the bloke of living death._  
After trying and failing to memorise the potion's ingredients for the thirteenth time, he huffed and looked up. He'd been failing because Sirius was somehow being adorably distracting just by sitting there on his bed. He smiled at Remus and threw a small, folded bit of parchment at him. It read, _'Let me know if you want to take a break, my Moonstone.'_ The gesture was so endearing. Just knowing Sirius was there for him, made his stress level come down to a zero. Remus daydreamed about what he'd like to do with Sirius during break, and he chuckled to himself.

"Oh no, he's going mental," said Peter.

"Moony, calm down, alright? You're going to do fine. You will pass!" James told him.

Remus nodded. "Yeah, yeah!" he said, hastily getting back to his ingredients list. He looked up and saw Sirius smirking at him, like he knew exactly what he'd been thinking about.

The theory of Potions exam went quite well for Remus, but in the afternoon, they had practicals. Remus couldn't exactly remember the events that took place between the end of the theory exam and halfway through the practical, he was in some kind of trace. He suddenly snapped out of it and looked around.

"Mr. Lupin, are you alright?" asked Slughorn patiently. "You've added the Valerian sprigs already, go ahead and start mixing."

"Horace!" squeaked Professor Tofty. "You're not supposed to help the students!"

"Right, er... I wasn't," said Slughorn awkwardly and moved to the far end of the classroom.

Professor Tofty gestured to Minerva and she bent down to listen. "I don't think the subject professors should be allowed into the exam halls anymore," he said to her.  
She nodded and straightened. "I'll tell Albus," she whispered.

"Thank you," Remus mouthed to Slughorn. He was a kind-hearted professor after all. Remus mixed his potion. Apparently his Forgetfulness Potion was three-quarters done, and he had no memory of doing anything.  
 _How incredibly ironic._  
Somehow, he managed to brew a weak potion, and walked out of the room with the confidence that he'd at least be getting an Acceptable.

The next day, Remus had his Arithmancy exam and the other two had Muggle Studies. Sirius enjoyed his practical exam a bit too much, he spent twenty minutes explaining to Professor Tofty how he was fixing a motorbike at his uncle's house, although he neglected to mention he had been charming it to try and make it fly as well. Peter didn't have any exam, he spent the whole day sleeping.

Care of Magical Creatures went well, but Remus was convinced Professor Tofty had discovered his true identity, no matter how much the other three tried to tell him otherwise. There was an innocent-looking Crup standing amongst a bunch of similar-looking Jack Russell Terriers. The students had been asked to identify the Crup as a part of their practical, and as soon the Crup spotted Remus, it started howling at him. And the worst part was, that Remus had to resist howling back and he started sweating. Professor Tofty looked at him suspiciously.

Sirius was still at the flobberworm table, choosing what to feed them with, and he saw the whole scene. He had to do something, he had to save Remus. " _Awooooo..._ " he went, and suddenly all the dogs were barking and running over to Sirius. They pushed him to the ground and started licking him all over. All the students burst out laughing, and Professor Tofty forgot about Remus amidst all the confusion. Remus was amazed.

"Well, the Crup identified itself for you, Mr. Lupin," said Kettleburn, ticking something on the parchment in his hand. "That'll count as a correct answer." Remus was even more amazed.

"Now that's what I call the _bark_ side of the moon," said Peter and Remus laughed.

"I feel extremely thankful _fur_ Sirius."

"Anything is _paw-sible_ if you just believe," said Peter.

"We should really _spot_ this now, we're in the middle of our OWL!" said Remus and Peter laughed again.

James drank his tea nervously. "Don't be nervous," said Professor Zhao.  
It was James' Divination exam and his topic was tasseography, or tea-leaf reading. James took the professor's empty cup, drained it of the remaining tea and turned it in a clockwise direction, trying to interpret the signs. "Er, there's a bird of some sort, it looks like an eagle."

"The type of bird doesn't matter, what matters is what the bird represents," said the Professor.

"Right. Bird equals good luck and possibly a journey," said James, smiling. "You'll be going on holiday over summer."

"Sounds excellent, I need it," said the professor. "Go on."

"No, hold on!" said James, suddenly. "Eagle represents a change of house, you'll be moving this summer!"

"Hopefully, I'll do both."

"There's a dagger, you'll have help from friends, they'll probably help you move," said James.

"Great. But are you sure it's a dagger? It could be a knife."

"Oh no, a knife, that means you'll fight with someone!" said James.

"Maybe they won't help me move after all," said the professor lightly.

"This one looks like a ladder, wow you really are going travelling, aren't you?" said James, and the professor smiled and nodded.

"Pine tree, contentment," said James, smiling. "This is a good cup."

"That it is," said Professor Zhao, taking the cup from him and checking the tea leaves. "You've done well."

"Awesome!" said James, standing up.

"Wait, don't you want your fortune read?" he asked.

"Well, I wasn't curious until you said that," said James and the professor laughed.

"Come. sit, I'll read you leaves." He took the cup and drained the tea and turned it clockwise. "A full moon."

James smiled. "A full moon means happiness and success," said Zhao.

"Perfect," said James. _Maybe it also means more full moon adventures with Moony._

"Many mountains, my my, you have powerful enemies," said the professor.

"I don't have any enemies, I'm a student... oh, wait," said James, remembering the Slytherins. And the war. and Voldemort.

"An angel, good news in love-related matters," said the professor.

"Are you serious?" said James.

"Is there one who has caught your eye, Mr. Potter?" said the professor, chuckling, but he didn't seem to require an answer. He went back to the reading.

"Fox, a back-stabbing close friend."

James decided he won't believe him. _Hmph! Tea-leaf reading is bogus. But the angel though..._ If he wanted to believe one, he had to believe the other.  
"That's intense, isn't it?" he asked the professor.

"Doesn't have to be literal. Could be they'll ask out the girl you've had your eye on, or something small... no need to take these signs too seriously," answered the professor.

"Right."

"And an apple, indicating a long life," the professor finished. James nodded thoughtfully.

All four boys did excellently in Astronomy. Peter even named all of Jupiter's moons correctly. The Astronomy practical made Sirius very happy, because they had been asked to point out the Canis Major constellation.  
"Why are you smiling, child?" Professor Marchbanks asked him jovially.

"I'm named after the Dog star in Canis Major," he replied, and he watched as her grin sagged.

"You're a Black, are you?" she asked, she knew of the Blacks' tradition of naming their children after constellations.

Sirius couldn't believe she actually took two steps back as she asked. He glanced at James, who was yawning and looking through his telescope, it was nearly midnight. "Yes," Sirius replied to her.

"Yes, Sirius is in my house, and he likes Astronomy very much," said Professor McGonagall, stepping into the light. Sirius hadn't even known she was there, she was apparently standing in the dark corner and keeping an eye out for cheating students.

" _Your house?_ " asked Professor Marchbanks. _A Black in Gryffindor?!_  
"Oh, er, continue with your exam, dear," she told him.

"Thanks Minnie," he whispered, after Professor Marchbanks moved away.

"Get back to your star chart Mr. Black," she replied. Sirius grinned at her and got back to looking through his telescope.

Remus found the Defence Against the Dark Arts exam the easiest, he knew for sure he'd get an 'Outstanding' in it. He had excelled in the practical test in the morning, and he knew all the answers in the theory exam. He followed the others out into the grounds to take a break before they had to start revising for Transfiguration, their last exam. When he heard James mention Severus, he looked up from the book. James and Sirius getting to their feet, and before he could stop them, they had their wands out and Severus was in the air. Even Peter was excited.  
 **(Cue bullying scene from the chapter** ** _Snape's Worst Memory_** **, from** ** _OOtP_** **)**.

 _I hate that Potter! And that pestilent Black, such bullies, the pair of them! SO INFURIATING!_ _There's no redemption for them!  
_ But as Lily hurried away, she realised her tears were because of Severus. Everything James had been telling her over the past two months was true, only she hadn't wanted to believe it. Severus had called her a _mudblood_ as easily as asking for butter at a breakfast table.  
 _And that curse he had used to slash Potter's cheek had clearly been of Dark origin!_ _Why, Severus, why? You proved Potter right after all… and he will hold this over me forever! Aaargh!_

"Lily! Lily, are you alright?!" asked Alice, running up to her. Marlene and Mary were right behind her.

Lily wiped her eyes roughly with her sleeve. She was mad. At everybody. "I want to go back to the Tower," she said, the girls nodded.

"Let's go," said Mary.

Without realising it, Remus got to his feet and stared after Lily as she'd hurried away.  
 _Were those tears in her eyes? Oh no, and I was just sitting here, doing nothing... I should have stopped them._

"Who wants to watch me take off Snivelly's pants?" James was saying behind him, and he turned around.

 _This has gone long enough._ " _Expelliarmus_ ," said Remus, and both Sirius' and James' wands zoomed into his hand.

"Moony, what…" said James, turning around to face his friend.

"Stop this now, you've got what you wanted," Remus said, but his wand was trained on the now recovering Severus. He could see Slughorn running down the front steps of the castle towards them.

Sirius and James glanced at each other and back at Severus, who quickly got to his feet and straightened his robes. Then he paused as he realised what he had just done.  
 _I called Lily a mudblood._  
He glanced at James, who smiled back at him triumphantly. Severus gave him a black look which clearly meant, 'this isn't over,' before retreating into the castle.

Peter hadn't moved, he was still crouching in his position, rat-like. "Er, Peter?" Sirius said, and he slowly got to his feet and brushed the dust off his clothes.

"James, I don't care what your motive was, but this is the worst thing you've ever done," said Remus. James looked at him guiltily.

"This is not to be borne!" they heard someone yell. "Never in the _whole of my teaching career_ have I heard of such public humiliation of one of my students! All of you are coming with me to Professor McGonagall's office _this instant!_ " It was Slughorn, he seemed apoplectic with indignation.

"But they didn't do anything!" said Sirius, pointing at Remus and Peter.

"I don't care, you'll follow me right now!" he yelled and they hurried after him to McGonagall's office.

"Minerva, I was just finishing locking up my stores when Balsamo came running in to tell me that Potter and his friends were hexing poor Severus Snape! And it turned out to be true, they all had their wands pointed at him, and Mr. Snape was in the air, upside down, his robes falling over his head... It was humiliating spectacle!" he said loudly, and she seemed shocked.

"That's not true! It was only Sirius and I, these two had nothing to do with it!" said James.

"When I arrived there, I clearly saw Mr. Lupin point his wand at Mr. Snape!" said Slughorn.

She glared at Remus, unable to believe it.

"He disarmed us! He stopped us!" Sirius frantically explained. Minerva looked at the three wands in Remus' hands and nodded.

"Then why may I ask, was his wand trained at Mr. Snape?" asked Slughorn.

"So he doesn't hex us when we had our backs turned, because he's that kind of a sneak," said Sirius malevolently.

"That's enough, Mr. Black, be quiet!" McGonagall told him. "So, Mr. Pettigrew, you haven't participated in this duel, am I right?"

Peter looked anxious at being addressed. "Er, no I didn't, ma'm."

"You will tell me everything that happened. _Everything_ , do you hear me?" she said sternly and he nodded. He truthfully told her everything, from when James first jinxed Snape unprovoked, the swear words Snape had used, Lily trying to stop them, Snape using the m-word on her(everyone glanced at Slughorn at that point), Lily walking away after that.

"Then Moony disarmed them and took both of their wands," he finished.

"Moony?" asked Slughorn, confused.

"Remus. It's Remus. I'm sorry," said Peter, looking guiltily at Remus.

"Okay Professor Slughorn, I'll take it from here," she told him, nodding at him.

"I want to see some punishment, Minerva. You've been known to be partial to Gryffindors," he said, and the Marauders looked at her in awe. "And look at the state of their clothes, Mr. Potter never seems to adhere to the dress code."

"I assure you Horace, I'll punish them appropriately," she told him calmly, as James hurriedly tucked his shirt in. "And I trust that you too will look into the matter of Mr. Snape using that unpardonable word on poor Ms. Evans?"

"Oh… of course, Minerva, you can be sure of that," he said nervously and closed the door behind him.

After he left, Minerva slowly sat down in her chair, glaring at the four Marauders.

"Why?" she asked simply.

"Pardon?" said Sirius.

"Why did you jinx Mr. Snape, unprovoked? Was this the result of a previous duel that we don't know about?" she asked shrewdly. The Marauders glanced at each other, she slammed her hand on the desk and they jumped. "Out with it!" she yelled, but they said nothing.  
"I'm not going to let you go, till you give me a proper explanation on this, boys. As much as I know about your pranks and mischief, I'm not willing to believe that you'd just start hexing people at random," she said, and got the reaction she expected from the boys. The other three looked at James fleetingly.

"Mr. Potter?" she said immediately. For some reason he blushed slightly. "The rest of you may go," she said, and they reluctantly left, but she knew they would be waiting outside for him. "Well?" she asked him.

"Snape is a sneak," he told her, looking at the muggle paperweight on her desk.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"He goes around with his cronies, calling people the m-word all the time, but pretends otherwise," he said, and she understood.

 _So this was all a performance for Ms Evans, of course._ What a _Gryffindor thing to do!  
_ "That was literally bullying, Mr Potter. You can't do whatever you want-"

"There was no other way…! I tried everything! She didn't believe me!" he blurted out, and then he was annoyed at himself for it.

She stared at him. _How do I make him understand?_ "James," she said. "You cannot teach someone something in a negative way, and expect them to learn something positive. Do you understand?" she said slowly.

"But-"

"Did you hear me? Repeat what I just said," she ordered.

"You cannot teach someone something in a negative way, to make them learn something positive," he repeated.

"No matter what it is," she said, and he nodded.

"Think about what I just said. And keep it in mind whenever you feel the urge to do something like that again," she told him, and he nodded. "No matter what you aimed to achieve, bullying will not be tolerated at Hogwarts."  
James nodded again. "Now, since we have only a week until term ends, I will be giving you your punishments after summer. Now, good day to you," she said, pointing to the door, and he sedately walked out of her office.

"Are you okay?" she heard Black ask him before the door even closed fully.

"I'm fine," said James, surprised at the concern.

"What did she say?" he asked, as they walked back to the Tower.

He told them what she said, and they all looked at Remus. "Why're you looking at me?" he asked.

"Well, you usually have a simpler explanation for these philosophical things that teachers are always telling us," said James, smiling.

Remus grinned back. "I guess she's right, isn't she?" he said.

"You cannot teach someone something in a negative way, to make them learn something positive?" he asked.

"Yeah, if you teaching something in a negative way, no one's going to remember what you taught them. It loses its value, they only remember the negative thing you did," Remus explained.

"Oh," said James dejectedly.

Remus put his hand on his shoulder. "She basically told you, you're not wrong. You're only going about it in a wrong way," he told him.

"Was that really advice on how to conduct yourself properly? Because that sure sounds like dating advice to me!" said Peter, and they laughed.

"Could be both," said Remus, and they looked at each other, deep in thought. "Why don't you boys go ahead, I need to talk to Professor McGonagall."

"What about?" asked Peter.

"Nothing... Prefect business," he replied, slowing down and stopping. "I'll catch up with you guys, where will you be?"

"The Great Hall," said James.

"I'll be along as soon as I'm done," said Remus and walked back to Minerva's office. The others nodded and went down to the Great Hall.

Remus knocked on her door, and she told him to enter. Remus walked in, but she wasn't at the table, she was at the window, gazing out at the grounds. She turned around. "Mr. Lupin, what is it?"

Remus removed his Prefect badge and put it on her writing desk.

"What may I ask, are you doing?"

Remus shrugged like it was obvious. "I'm not worthy of that badge."

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Why?"

"I was _right there_ , when James did that to Severus, and I did nothing," he said, frustratedly pointing at the door. "I sat there and let it happen."

"You disarmed them," she said.

"After everything was over, when it didn't matter!" he said. "It's not just today, I'm always doing this, I- but after today, its been proven, I'm officially the worst Prefect in the history of Hogwarts!"

Minerva turned to look at the students out in the grounds. "You'd be surprised how many Prefects I've seen over the years, who were undeserving of that badge, but let me assure you, you're not one of them."

Remus was surprised at her honesty. But he knew that wasn't the only reason. "But it's not just that-"

"You feel guilty when you let the others break rules," she said, turning around. "Really, Mr. Lupin, I expected better from you."

He didn't understand. "Sorry?"

"When I suggested your name to Professor Dumbledore, even he thought it was a good idea," she said, walking up to her desk. "It doesn't matter if you let Mr. Black play a prank or let Mr. Pettigrew grab a sandwich from the Kitchens-"

"But today-"

"Today was an exception," she said sternly. "It was a new situation entirely, and you did the best you could, I do not expect my Prefects to be perfect in the first year itself."

"You don't understand, if it had been anyone else, I would have stopped them immediately, but it was James and Sirius-"

"Perhaps there was a delay in your actions because of the approaching full moon?" she asked.

Remus immediately got annoyed. "This has nothing to do with that," he said angrily.

She looked at him patiently. "So you were afraid of angering your friends?"

"I did think it was that, but to be honest, I think I was on James' side..." he mumbled.

"Mr. Lupin! Are you telling me you were condoning the bullying?" she asked.

"No! I didn't stop them because I- I didn't know he would do that," said Remus, then he sighed. "Look, there are so many reasons why I let it slide, really, I don't deserve being a Prefect."

"Mr. Lupin," said Minerva. "The worst thing a Prefect can do is be uncaring when someone's breaking the rules around them. But you weren't uncaring, you had all these reasons to delay your reaction, but you stopped them in the end anyway, didn't you?"

Remus nodded.

"That's what being a Prefect is all about," she told him. "And you can learn from this experience and be more alert next time. I'd like you to continue," she said, handing him his badge back.

"The other Prefects constantly tell me I'm being lenient with the Marauders, now they'll say it again," he said. "They'll say you made a mistake."

"Well, they don't know everything, do they?" she said. "There's a reason I made you a Prefect, Mr. Lupin."

"I think you're making a mistake as well," he said, looking down at the badge on his palm.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"


	53. Baby Rabbits

Lily didn't appear for dinner that night, nor for breakfast the next day. James only saw her during the exam, looking quite serious as she wrote her answers. Guilt ate at him.  
Theory for Transfiguration was their hardest exam. Remus got a terrible headache during the exam, which he attributed to the upcoming transformation.  
 _This is definitely not due to stress._  
Only James was confident he had done well, but that was only because he had a natural talent for the subject. Pratap Patil and Francois Antoine were saying that a few questions were NEWT level, and that they hadn't even been taught those topics yet. Remus and Peter heaved a sigh of relief when they head that. If that was the case, they might be given marks for those questions by default.

But Sirius shook his head. "She's playing with us," he said.

"Who?"

"Minnie, who else?" said Sirius.

"But McGonagall doesn't set the OWL paper," said Remus.

"She would have seen it beforehand, right? and she still let it through," said Sirius. Remus couldn't argue with that.

Their practical was relatively easier. Their first task was basic, transfiguring a couple of tiny rabbits into bedroom slippers and back. Sirius felt extremely guilty as he looked at their cute faces. "But they are so adorable, why are you making us do this?" he asked Professor Marchbanks, holding them up to his face.

"It won't hurt them a bit, Mr. Black," she said, smiling at him.

Sirius waved his wand and the two rabbits became cosy slippers with fluffy cotton rabbit heads. "Perfect!" she said and he changed them back.

Peter and James were called in at the same time. As James got ready to cast the spell, someone screamed. Patrick Parkinson had managed to transfigure his bedroom slippers into a swarm of locusts, and when asked later, he had no idea how he did it, and was convinced that someone was attempting to sabotage him. The locusts flew around the Great Hall at high speed, and everyone ran around, swatting and covering their ears. Peter immobilised one with his wand and was pretty happy with himself. Professor Flitwick waved his wand and the locusts disappeared.  
After their Transfiguration final, the Great Hall was unusually loud, fifth and seventh years were finally done with their OWLs and NEWTs. The other Marauders ate their dinner with gusto, but James kept glancing at the entrance. He was waiting for Lily, but she didn't appear then either. _  
_He didn't even spot Lily or her friends in the Common room when they walked in. _Hmm, maybe the girls have other plans._

"So, what does everyone feel like doing tonight?" Sirius asked them, flopping onto James' bed.

"I first have to return these books to the library," James told him, picking up some books from his bed. Sirius and Peter groaned, but as he expected, Remus perked up.

"I'll come with you, I have a tonne of books to return as well," he said, walking over to his bedside table and picking up his pile of books.

"I'm _not_ coming to the library. We're done with exams!" Peter whined.

"Then, don't. We'll be back in a jiffy," grinned James, grabbing the Marauders' map.

"I'm not going as well," said Sirius. "But you can take these books back, thanks a million." He grinned at Remus and gave him a couple of books.

"See you," Remus told them.

As soon as they were out of the dorm, James dumped his books into Remus's already full hands. "Prongs, what-"

James opened the Map and scanned it. "Can't find her anywhere…" he mumbled as he climbed down the stairs.

"Oh no. James, you really should be leaving her alone, you know. She must be really mad at you... at all of us," Remus told him.

James looked up at him with an unusually tense face. "I want to apologise to her, Moony. I've been thinking about what McGonagall said, and it feels like the right thing to do."

"Yes, but don't you think you should give her some time to cool down?" Remus asked, dumping the books onto the nearest free writing desk.

"Well, it's been a whole day…" James said, still scanning the Map.

"Okay, if you really want to, you should," Remus said, and pushed the map onto the desk to help look for Lily.

"She's not in her room, not here, not in the Great Hall or the library," James said.

"What about the other dorm rooms?" Remus asked, but she wasn't there either.

"We should look for the others' names as well," said James and Remus hummed in agreement.

After two minutes of searching, Remus found Marlene. "Look!" he said, and pointed to her, but regretted it immediately as they noted she was in a broom closet on the seventh floor with Iker Gomez. "Er," he said, and they smirked at each other awkwardly. "This is why these kind of maps are illegal," he said, shaking his head and resuming the search.

James chuckled. "Wait! Look, there's Alice in the kitchens... oh, she's leaving the kitchens now," said James. They watched the dot labelled Alice Finbok walk past the Great Hall and out the front doors. "They're having a picnic, how nice," he said, as Remus pointed at the names Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans sitting under a few trees by the lake.

Remus chuckled, stacking the twelve books on top of one another and making them hover in front of him. "Good luck, and don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said and walked towards the Portrait Hole.

"That really restricts my whole vibe, Moony," said James, and Remus chortled.

"Well, try not to turn Lily into a wrathful demon from the underworld."

James laughed and fell into step with him. "Will you come with me?"

"I'm still not talking to her, remember?" Remus said, bending so his head won't hit the top of the hole.

"I wish you'd just forget about this stupid fight already. It's been what, three months?" James said.

"Yeah, but she doesn't need me, right?"

"She needs you more than ever, right now, Remus, and you know that," said James.

Remus glanced sideways at James. _If only she saw you like this, she'd realise what a good person you are.  
_ "Ugh, you're right, I'll talk to her after the moon," he said and James smiled. "It's tomorrow, if you remember."

"'Course, I remember."

James watched Remus turn a corner before climbing down the stairs and walking out the large front doors. He proceeded in the direction of the lake. When he checked the Map again, just in case, he found the dot labelled Marlene McKinnon quickly approaching the place where he was standing. He whipped around and saw her running over. She hadn't spotted him yet, so he changed directions and ducked into the Forbidden Forest and walked over to them, still hidden behind the trees.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm here," Marlene announced, panting.

"Where were you?" Mary asked, chucking her a muffin. James grinned to himself.

"Er, I was talking to Iker," she told them.

"You're positively glowing, you sure you were just talking?" asked Alice and the girls giggled.

"Fine, we were shagging. Happy?" she said, her mouth full of muffin.

"Ah, I knew it," said Mary and they all laughed again, Marlene included.

"When's the wedding?" asked Lily, and James was surprised. _Wedding?!_

"Ha ha, very funny, Lily," Marlene said.

"If I remember correctly, didn't you declare that they only way you were getting back together with Iker, was if he asked you to marry him?" said Lily, smirking.

"I never said that!" Marlene said.

Mary sniggered. "She's right, I remember that too."

"How embarrassing. Was I high?"

Alice and Lily exchanged bemused glances. "You weren't even drunk, you were perfectly sober."

Marlene sat down with a sigh and looked up at the others. "When did I say that?"

"After your last break up of course," Lily said, grinning. "Which one was that again? Your seventeenth breakup in three years?"

Marlene rolled her eyes.

Alice laughed. "Those weren't break-ups, Lily," she said.

"Yes, they were," Marlene maintained.

Alice shook her head. "Honey, let me tell you what a break-up is. It's what happened with Lily and Severus."

James's jaw dropped. _What?!_

"We were not in a relationship!" squealed Lily.

"Officially, no. But you were basically doing everything a couple usually do. Except the snogging part, of course," said Alice.

"But I do all of that with Remus too," said Lily, ignoring the fact that they weren't talking.

"But Remus isn't in love with you," said Alice. Everyone gaped at her.

"Are you saying Severus is in love with me?!" asked Lily.

"Wasn't it obvious to you?" Alice asked calmly and Lily's eyes widened as she realised.

"Yeah, I guess I knew that," she said, playing with a cherry.

"Hey," said Alice, crawling over to her and putting her arm over her shoulder.

James felt inordinately jealous. _That oily git._

"Alice, I don't think this was the right time to bring that up," chided Mary.

"No, it's the perfect time to bring this up," said Marlene sternly. "Did he ever tell you that he loves you?"

"No. I mean he always told me he cared about me…" she mumbled.

Suddenly James realised that he shouldn't be eavesdropping on such a private conversation… even if it was related to Lily's love life.

"But he doesn't care about me! He never cared about me! All this time he was spending time with me just because he had a stupid crush on me! He never cared about anything I said, I practically begged him to stop hanging with Mulciber... and that creepy Avery, but no. _'Oh, I have to, Lily… you don't know what it's like being in Slytherin,'_ …" she picked up a pebble and threw it into the lake.

"Okay okay, calm down girl," said Alice, gently rubbing her back.

"Here," said Mary, handing her a chicken sandwich. Lily gave her a small smile as she took it.

"I know something that always cheers Lily up," said Marlene, and whispered the incantation for the _Patronus charm._

James watched in awe as a rattlesnake Patronus slithered out of her wand and wrapped itself around Lily's shins. Lily giggled. "Wow!" he uttered loudly, forgetting himself and the girls jumped, yelping.

Lily's wand was out and she pointed it in his general direction. "Who's there?" she asked loudly. James stumbled back, crushing the dried leaves under his shoe.  
"Stupefy!" she yelled and red light shot from her wand and they heard an 'uff' and a crash.

"You got them!" Marlene whispered and they all got to their feet and cautiously walked into the tree line, with their wands at the ready.

"There," Alice pointed at a pair of feet. They walked closer.

"Shit! It's Potter!" shrieked Mary, and they ran over to him.

"Oh no!" wailed Lily.

" _Rennervate_ ," Marlene said, and James blinked.

"James, you okay?" asked Marlene, helping him to his feet.

"Yeah... yeah I'm fine," he said, sounding exhausted. He brushed leaves and dirt off his robes. The girls led him out to the picnic blanket and made him sit on it. Then they made him drink a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Are you sure you're okay? Shall I take you up to the Hospital wing?" Alice asked him.

"No, no, I'm good, Alice. Really," he assured her and smiled tiredly.

"I'm sorry I stunned you, but why were you lurking in the forest?" Lily asked suspiciously.

James looked at her. "I…" he said and his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what to say. He quickly got to his feet. "I just- I came to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ruining your friendship with Snape," he told her, looking pretty distressed.

Lily got to her feet too. _He heard everything.  
_ "You didn't," she told him.

James was a bit surprised, but he hid it well. _So, she's still gonna be friends with him after he called her then m-word, contradicting everything she just said?_ "Oh," he managed to say.

"I meant, _you_ didn't," she corrected herself.

 _Oh._ "Right," he said, a grin breaking out slowly on his face, and Lily got annoyed again.

"That doesn't mean I'm condoning your outright bullying of a fellow student!" she yelled.

"I honestly had no idea you and Severus were lovers," he said.

"We weren't lovers."

"But-"

"He likes me, I don't like him," she said. "Oh, why am I even telling you this?"

"I'm still sorry, I felt like I came in between the two of you," he said, he looked genuinely sad about it.

"That you did," she said and he looked sadder.

"I'm really sorry."

"I don't believe you, Potter."

"How can I prove myself, Lily?" he asked. "I'll do anything." Lily noticed he had referred to her by her first name for the first time. It was to show his sincerity for what he was saying.

"Ooh, you shouldn't have said that, mate," said Marlene. The other girls grinned at him.

"I'm serious," he said.

"Apologise to Severus, then," Lily told him plainly.

"What?" he said, shocked.

"You want to prove yourself to me, right? You said you'd do anything? Do this, and I'll believe you," she told him.

James blinked at her.

"Oh, that's right, Potter, you won't be able to do it, will you?" said Mary mockingly.

"Not with his Jupiter-sized ego," said Lily.

"I'll do it," said James.

"What?" asked Lily.

"You do know what you're saying, right?" said Marlene.

"Yes, I'll apologise to Severus," he said, folding his hands confidently. "James Potter can do anything."

"Such arrogance, I hope Slughorn gave you detentions lasting the rest of your school career," she said loudly.

"Slughorn didn't give us any detentions. Neither did McGonagall... although she did say she'd punish us when we get back next year," he told her, grinning broadly.

"How can you think this is hilarious?! I hope you rot in detention! Now get the hell away from me before I stun you again!" she yelled at him, bending to pick up her wand again.

"I don't think it's hilarious!" he said quickly. He was used to her yelling at him, but he didn't think he could take getting stunned twice in one day, so he scrammed.

"He is so incredibly annoying!" Lily said, exasperatedly. She removed her coat and threw it on the ground and looked around. "I'm going for a swim," she announced, removing her outer robe.

"Er, what?" Alice asked nervously.

She didn't reply, she just took all her clothes off until only her vest and undergarments remained. "Who's coming in with me?" she asked, grinning mischievously.

"Ah, what the hell," said Marlene, removing her clothes too.

"Won't it be freezing, though?" asked Mary, while Alice was contemplating.

"It's July," said Marlene, as if that decided everything. The Scottish Highlands were always freezing cold in the evenings.

Lily and Marlene waded in till the water reached their thighs. "Come in, or we'll splash you," Marlene threatened them. The other two laughed and took off their clothes as well.

The three Marauders accosted James as soon as he entered the dorm. "Tell. Us. Ev-e-ry-thing," said Remus, and James grinned.

"Let me sit down," he said and walked over to the bed.

"That piece of shit!" exclaimed Sirius loudly, as James arrived to the part where Lily told the girls that she knew Severus had been in love with her the whole time. "I'll transfigure him into a bug and crush him between my fingers!" The other three chuckled.

"Appreciate the support, mate, but…" James's voice trailed away.

"But what?" Peter asked.

"It's just...when I heard her talk about Snape like that… It felt weird you know?" James said, looking at the three of them, wondering if they understood. Sirius raised a quizzical eyebrow, Peter's face was blank as if he was waiting for James to continue, but Remus grimaced.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," Remus said and the other two looked at him.

"Huh?" asked Sirius.

"You know, last year, when Lily and I became friends, Severus would follow me around. It wasn't actually because he wanted to discover my secret," Remus said to the others. "He discovered my secret because he followed me."

"Oh yeah, I get it. He was following you to figure out whether you liked Lily too," said James, nodding.

"Oh," said Peter.

"The git," said Sirius.

"Yeah, it was not a good feeling... I could guess why he was doing it. But he needn't have worried, I wasn't going to come in between them," Remus said.

"But I did," James said, looking miserable. "Even if Evans doesn't think so."

"What? She told you that?" asked Remus.

"Yeah, kind of. After she stunned me," he said.

"She STUNNED YOU?!" yelled Sirius, horrified.

"Not on purpose! Let me explain," James said, quickly, and told them the rest of the story. "...then she threatened to stun me again if I didn't leave, so I came back," finished James, grinning.

"Mate, that was such a nice moment between you two, and you just had to go and ruin it," said Peter, folding his hand and chuckling.

"I gave her the most innocent smile I could muster, to let her know I was grateful. It was her fault she didn't get it," James whined. The others sniggered.

"You're back to square one with her," sniggered Peter. James pouted.

"No you're not, if you apologise to Severus, this will be a huge step," said Remus encouragingly.

"I can't fucking believe you said you'd apologise to Snivelly! _To Snivelly!_ " said Sirius. James grinned at him.

The next morning, James decided to do it. He and Remus got up and walked over to Severus. Minerva's eyes followed the two boys as they neared the Slytherin table.

"Remind me again why they're doing it here in the Great Hall?" Peter asked Sirius.

"They're doing it in front of everybody so Snivellus doesn't whinge about it later," said Sirius.

It was super awkward. Severus looked up at James. "What do you want, Potter? Didn't get enough the other day?" Up at the staff table, Minerva and Horace exchanged concerned glances.

"About that, Snape, I'm here to apologise," James told him.

Severus laughed, and so did some of the other Slytherins around him. " _Apologise?_ " he asked, and slowly got to his feet.

"Pathetic," muttered Macnair, but James ignored him.

"Yes, apologise," said James. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For bullying you, using the _Levicorpus_ -"

"Shut _up_ , Potter," said Severus. "Just shut up." He folded his hands and looked at Lupin. "Why are you apologising? Who's making you do it? Lupin? I know you, Potter, you'd never do this on your own." James said nothing.

"Ah, I know," Severus whispered dramatically. "Are you apologising to me to gain my forgiveness, or to gain favour with Lily?" James looked down at his feet.

"It's what I thought," Severus said malevolently. "You know I'll never forgive you, right, Potter? And I'm not talking about the _Levicorpus_."

James looked up at him. Severus looked over at Lily at the Gryffindor table and back at James. "I'll never forgive you, Potter," he said.

"Now, piss off!" said Macnair. Remus put his hand on James' shoulder and they walked away, out of the Hall.

Sirius stood up. "He doesn't look so good," he said, and he and Peter immediately followed them.

"Holy Merlin, he did it!" exclaimed Lily. "He actually apologised to Severus!"

"And it didn't escalate into another duel!" cried Mary.

"I didn't think he could do it," said Marlene.

"I always knew James could do it," said Alice, smiling. "I never doubted him for a second."

"That's why we call you the nicest person to ever exist," Mary told Alice.

Alice smiled. "So when he said yesterday that 'James Potter can do anything', I guess he had meant he'd do anything for you," she said, and Lily looked at her solemnly.

When Sirius and Peter caught up to them, Remus seemed to be scolding James.

"You heard what he said, I did come in between the two of them, I ruined his chances with her-" James was saying. He looked miserable.

"You did not!" said Remus sternly. "I swear to you, Lily never had feelings for Severus, she wouldn't have accepted him as a lover even if they had stayed friends!"

"You don't know that, what if their friendship had developed into a romance like it does in the novels?" said James.

"What are you talking about, James? You don't read novels," said Peter, but James didn't smile.

"There was no friendship left to develop anyway, James," said Remus. "Severus just isn't ready to accept that fact. And anyway, he doesn't care about the whole _Levicorpus_ thing, Prongs, you heard him."

"But-"

"The whole mudblood thing was just the last hammer strike to break the chain, like Aurangzeb," said Remus.

"Who's Aurangzeb?" asked James.

"A Mughal Emperor in medieval India. People - historians blame Aurangzeb for initiating the downfall of the Mughal Empire," said Remus

"So I'm Aurangzeb?!" asked James worriedly. "I initiated the downfall of their friendship?!"

" _Remus!_ " Sirius said angrily.

"What I'm trying to say is, even though it appeared as if it was only Aurangzeb who'd done it, there were actually so many other emperors also responsible for it, so many other factors which lay hidden in plain sight," Remus quickly explained. "Do you get what I'm saying?"

James nodded. "Yeah." But he still looked like he'd just witnessed a puppy dying, so Sirius hugged him.

Remus and Peter looked at him curiously. "What? Hugs make you feel better," he told them.

"Thanks, Pads," said James, giving him a small smile. "I do feel better." Peter simply nodded and thumped James on the back.


	54. Eating Humble Pie

**Author's note: The words in bold in Lily and Severus' conversation are from the chapter _The Prince's Tale_ in the Deathly Hallows.  
**

* * *

By the next day, the fifth and seventh years in Gryffindor tower were disturbing the lower years so much, that they'd all been instructed to stay in their dorms during study hours. Lily was lounging on her bed, just enjoying the company of her girlfriends. Mary was going to be back any minute with slices of pie from the kitchens.

"Lily!" said Mary, her voice laced with urgency as she opened the dorm door and walked in. Lily sat up straight.

"What is it, Mary?" Alice asked.

"It's Severus…" she hesitated.

"Ugh, what's he done now?" Lily asked, irritated.

He's waiting for you outside the Portrait Hole," she said nervously, making a face.

"Still?! I thought we told him of fuck off… and that was almost an hour ago too," said Marlene, getting to her feet.

"What are you talking about?" asked Lily, perplexed.

"He wanted to talk to you. You know, apologise and shit, but we thought you weren't ready to hear it, so we told him to go away," said Marlene.

"I'm glad you did," said Lily.

"Yes, but he's still there, Lily. and he said he'd sleep there all night if you didn't come down-" said Mary.

"This is the thing I hate most of all! To be forced to do something I don't want to!" she said furiously and put on a dressing gown and stormed out. The girls looked at each other gravely.

Severus apologised over and over again, but Lily felt no pity this time. **"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."**

 **"No - listen, I didn't mean -" Severus was saying.**

 **" - to call me a _mudblood_? But you call everyone of my birth mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" she asked him.** He looked like he wanted to say something else, but she couldn't take it anymore. "I am a mudblood, Severus. And you don't like mudbloods. We can't be friends," she told him simply and turned around and climbed back through the Portrait hole.

And just like that, Severus realised that Lily could never forgive him, just like he could never forgive James Potter.

"Why don't you go back to your Common room, dear?" the Fat Lady suggested kindly, after a few minutes.

His eyes flicked towards her. "Don't patronise me, Fat Lady," he said and walked away. The Fat Lady shook her head.

As Lily walked back up the stairs slowly, holding the handrail, she thought about the conversation she just had.  
T _he way he had just completely dismissed me when all I'd done was go over to support him... like I'm not important anymore, just because I'm a muggleborn. A mudblood.  
_ She suddenly came to a halt. _Oh no!_ She remembered something else... something that had happened three months ago.  
 _A similar fight... a similar dismissal. This is why Remus stopped talking to me. Because I supported someone like Severus._ _That's the reason he'd completely ignored me when I'd gone over to help Severus.  
_ She remembered all the hurtful things she had said that night, how she had trivialised Remus' feelings. And Sirius' feelings too.  
 _You had no right to say any of those things to Black. And for what? Just to win the argument?! That was so low of you, Lily. And poor Remus. I should apologise to Remus.  
_ Lily turned towards the boys' staircase and climbed up to the Marauders' dorm. Then she hesitated for a moment and knocked.

Peter opened the door immediately. " _Evans_? Er... Come in," he said, ushering her in.

"Wormtail!" she heard an angry yell and she saw Sirius whip his curtains shut. He'd been in the process of getting changed, and was just wearing his boxers. "A little warning would've been nice!"

Lily couldn't help chuckling awkwardly and Peter smiled at her. James knew she'd come to talk to Remus, and was torn between waking him up for her, and letting him sleep. "Remus is sleeping," he finally told her. "Last night was the full moon."

"Right," she said, and turned back to walk out the door again.

"I'm not," they heard a muffled voice from behind his curtains. James grinned at Lily and she smiled back automatically and was surprised at herself.

Remus poked his head out of his curtains, took one look at her and immediately walked up to her. "Lily!" he said.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked pleadingly.

"Of course!" he said, and gestured her out of the room and shut the door behind him.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for saying the things I said that day, I'm sorry for pushing you!" she cried, immediately after he shut the door.

"It's okay, Lily. It was silly of me to keep this up for so long," he told her. "I'm sorry he used that word, Lily. I honestly didn't expect him to."

"I don't really want to talk about Severus right now. I wanted to tell you, that I completely understand how you must've felt that day. Karma isn't a word we just learn in Divination, it's real. This had to happen to me, Remus, only now could I realise how I treated you that day," she told him.

"I was being egoistic," Remus told her.

"I know how that must have made you feel, though," she said.

"Lily!" he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I understand. I get it." She hugged him tightly.  
Now, can we please forget about it?" he said, and she nodded, and smiled a little. They sat down on the stairs together. From inside the dorm, they heard Sirius yelling at Peter for not waiting, and muffled running and squeals. The chuckled at each other.

"So you and Black are together now," she said, but she didn't mean it as a question.

"Yeah."

"I'm so happy for you, Remus," she said.

"It was all you, Lily. Sirius and I got together because of you. He told me what you said," he told her.

She laughed. "Well, I wouldn't say that... I mean, if James hadn't been pestering me for help that fateful day, I wouldn't have told him that you and I were 'dating', and you wouldn't have come looking for me…. So it's basically James. And Black. And Dorcas. And Marlene. And me..." she trailed off.

"Are you saying, James came to ask you to set us up?!" he asked, surprised. He wondered when Lily had started using James' first name.

Lily nodded. "Black went to him for help first, I think," she said.

"Why didn't you just tell me?!" he asked.

"He didn't tell me it was for Black, I just guessed," she told him.

Remus was silent for a while. "How lucky am I to have all of you," he said.

"Oh Remus, I've missed you so much!" she said, hugging his arm.

"Me too! Fighting's stupid!" he said. "Thank Godric we're friends again. I haven't been able to repair myself from my pseudo-extroverted behaviour without you!"

Lily laughed. "The worst part was the Ancient Runes project!" she said. "I had to do mine with Gloria Corner."

"That must have been tedious, Gloria is known to be pedantic," said Remus. "What was your topic?"

"Isthmian. She has extensive knowledge of phonology... she was _obsessed_ with linguistic redundancy in phonology, A positive nightmare!" she said, shaking her head. "But we'll probably be getting an 'Outstanding' in it, thanks to her, so I'm not too torn up about that. Who was your partner?"

"Balbina Woods from Hufflepuff. She was alright, except for the part where she kept confusing the scripts. She kept using Runes, and our project was on Proto-sinaitic."

"Oh my God! The whole point of the project was to familiarise yourself with world scripts!" she exclaimed.

"I know!" Remus said and laughed. Lily knew exactly what he meant. She really understood him, and he was so thankful to have her back.

"Severus tried to _apologise_ to me, the nerve of him!" she said after a while.

"You must be really mad at him," he said.

"He proved James right, he's such a bigot!" she said vexedly.

"Are you seriously mad at him for proving James right? Lily, I can't believe you!"

"I didn't mean it like that, this whole time I was supporting him, defending him to everyone, and in the end, I was wrong, wasn't I?!" she said.

"Lily, no one is going to make fun of you for believing in your friend."

"James will never let me forget it, I'm sure of it."

Remus got angry. "Lily, do you even know why James started this whole campaign? It was so that you'd learn the truth and _we'd_ be friends again."

"What!"

"Yes, he said so himself," Remus told her. "He said he didn't care what you thought of him as long as _we_ became friends again. Because he knows we need each other. He knows you're my best friend." Lily gaped at him. "Trust me, Lily, James is not going to hold this over your head."

Then she suddenly looked really forlorn. "Looks like I was entirely wrong about everyone... perhaps first impressions aren't the best impressions after all."

"Like in _Pride and Prejudice_ ," said Remus, grinning. "Severus is Mr. Wickham and James is Mr. Darcy."

Lily chuckled. "Oh, so you're saying I'm Elizabeth Bennet?" she asked, grinning.

"Yes, Lily, you are," he said. "Lily, Lizzy, it fits."

Lily laughed again. "And you're Jane Bennet, the nicest, most good-hearted person in the whole story," she said, and Remus smiled.

"If you say so, Lizzy."

Finally the day had come to go back home for the summer. James watched as Remus and Sirius got into a carriage. He waited a few moments before he followed them in. They were grinning at each other. Peter heaved himself into the carriage and panted. "Made it," he said, wiping his forehead. "I'm excited to see mum, and I'm excited to go to Transylvania!"

The others chuckled. "We know, Pete, you've told us about a hundred times," said James.

On the train, Sirius and Remus sat opposite each other. Remus took his shoes off and put his legs up on the seat beside Sirius. "I have no idea why my shoulders are still aching," he said, massaging his right shoulder.

The others looked at each other and grinned. "The wolf rammed against a tree to scare some bowtruckles in the forest," Peter informed him, sitting down next to Sirius.

"It did?" asked Remus. "Dim-witted wolf," he said and massaged his shoulder again.

"How are your feet doing?" asked Sirius, patting Remus' feet.

"My feet are fine," said Remus quickly.

"I wonder if mum and I will have time to catch the Harpies' game before we leave," said Peter, opening his bag to take out some chocolate. He gave Remus a square before he ate some. "Hristov and Spinnet said they'd be going."

"Thanks, Pete," said Remus, happily popping the square into his mouth.

"The Harpies' performance has been surprisingly good this year," said James. "Recruiting Lucy Goldman was the best decision their manager made this year."

Peter nodded. "The game between the Falcons and the Chudley Cannons is taking place at the Unctuous Osbert Stadium near your village, Remus. You should go see it," said Peter.

"Yeah, we could go see it together, Moony!" said James excitedly. Meanwhile, Sirius discreetly tickled Remus' feet.

"Sadly I'll be in Wales for the first month or so, remember?" replied Remus, fidgeting. "I'm visiting my aunt and uncle Howell."

"Oh no, the twins gonna be there?" asked James. Sirius drummed his fingers over Remus' ankle.

"Thankfully, no," said Remus. "They're doing some summer courses at the university."

"What are you going to do in Wales, Moony?" asked Peter. "It'll be dreadfully boring with just parents and old people to talk to." Sirius slid his hand into Remus' trousers and ran his fingers over Remus' calf muscle. Remus smiled at Sirius. Sirius then suddenly scratched Remus' calf with his nails.

Remus gasped and lightly kicked his thigh. "I'll play with the farm animals there," he replied to Peter.

"Unless they start baying at you too," said Peter, and everyone laughed. "Oh, wait! Didn't you tell me that there was a sanctuary for Golden Snidgets somewhere in Wales?"

"Yeah, there's one in Dolgellau," said Remus. "Good idea, I'll go there."

"Can we please get a photograph of you with a Snidget on you head?" asked James, and Remus chuckled.

"Sure, if I can find someone with a camera there," he said.

After some time, the compartment door suddenly opened and Frank and Alice, and Marlene walked in. Sirius quickly removed his hand from inside Remus' trousers, but unfortunately, Frank wasn't as clueless as Peter was. He thought he saw Frank give him an odd look before sitting down.  
"Hola," said Marlene loudly, and sat down in between Peter and Sirius. "Got any chocolate, Remus? I'm starving, when is the trolley coming?"

"Here," said Peter, giving her some squares of chocolate.

"Thanks, mate," she said.

"Do you lads want to play Exploding Snap?" asked Alice.

"Sure." And thus, the time passed with everyone playing Exploding Snap and other games. Lily and Mary arrived after a while, then Remus had to go with Lily to patrol the train for while. When he came back, Alice was in his seat, so he had to sit on the other side of James.

Soon, Sirius noticed that it was getting dark. He could see the shabby suburbs of London whizzing past already. _Noooo_.

"Looks like we'll be arriving soon," said Alice, getting to her feet. "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you all in sixth year!"

"Bye Alice," said James.

"Bye Alice, Bye Frank." "Bye Pete!"

"Happy holidays!" "Byeeeee!"

Marlene hugged Sirius. "Take care of yourself, Siri," she said, and kissed him on the forehead.

"I will, Marly," he said and she waved at the others and left the compartment.

James glanced at Sirius. He was now staring out of the window at all the houses and office buildings, the train was already slowing down. Remus was looking at Sirius too. James and Remus exchanged a look, but there was nothing they could do, nothing they could say that'll make him feel better.

"Would you like to run away to Transylvania with me, Sirius?" said Peter.

Sirius chuckled and looked at Peter. "I'd love to, Pete..." But everyone knew he couldn't. At least his mood lightened a teeny bit. "Maybe I can ask Reggie to convince mother to take us to the Harpies' game."

"Right on! It's the day after tomorrow," said Peter.

"Baby Black has some uses after all," said James and they laughed.

"Better yet, maybe she'll get our Uncle Alfie to take us," said Sirius enthusiastically. "Then we'll be able to sit with you."

"Excellent!"

When the train stopped, Remus got up and opened the compartment door. There was already a rush to disembark, students were lining up with their luggage, so Remus sat down in front of Sirius again. The Marauders stayed in their compartment for a few minutes, and Sirius and Remus stared at each other the whole time, as if trying to memorise each other's faces. Two months with seeing each other was going to be hard.

"I think we can go now," said James, looking out again, and the four of them got down the train with their luggage. Everywhere they looked, there were happy reunions and joyful sounds, and the sight made them feel excited.

Peter spotted his mum waving at him, a short distance away. "There's mum. I'll visit you as soon as I'm back from Transylvania," he told James.

"Come back soon," said Remus, and he nodded. Sirius didn't say anything, it didn't matter to him if he returned sooner, or on the day school started. He wouldn't be allowed to visit anyway. Peter said goodbye to the them and ran over to hug his mum.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other. "I'll miss you," Remus whispered, removing a piece of lint off of Sirius's expensive coat. Now that their family had moved to the next village over from James', they could see each other often over the holidays. Peter always flooed over to James' anyway, so he would be seeing him too. But Sirius' parents never allowed him to go anywhere. They had all these summer garden parties and fundraisers to attend, and they always wanted him there, that was what Sirius told them. Remus suspected that Sirius wasn't allowed out of the house because they didn't want him to have any fun.

Sirius looked down at Remus's hand. _Fuck it._ He reached out and interlocked his fingers with Remus'. "Everyday I check if I'm dreaming or if this is real life," he said.

"What?" asked Remus.

"You are so astronomically, _exponentially_ out of my league, that I-"

"Oh, please!" said Remus. "I'm the one who should be saying that."

"Merlin, you two are so corny," said James chuckling at them.

"This is a hundred times better than your poetry," said Sirius.

"Don't interrupt him, Prongs," said Remus reproachfully.

"You interrupted him first!" said James and laughed. Then his grin sagged. Sirius wondered what was up, he was just about to turn around to see, when someone cleared their throat in an annoyingly girlish manner behind them, and Sirius let go of Remus' hand and closed his eyes for a moment to brace himself.  
 _Bella.  
_ He turned around and Regulus and Bellatrix were standing there, both wearing similar expressions of mild surprise. But Bellatrix recovered quickly and simpered at him. "Hello Sirius," she said.

Remus and James couldn't believe the audacity of this woman. Bellatrix Black, known death eater, was casually standing on the platform, talking to her cousins. Although, only they knew she was a death eater. Remus was especially angry with her, because she had helped burn down his favourite secondhand bookshop in Diagon Alley that day.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked her.

"Picking up my ickle cousins, of course," she replied. She looked at James and Remus, unabashedly taking in the state of their clothes to make out their blood status. Her thin fingers with emerald-painted nails, curled against her mouth as she chuckled in a low tonal fluttering sound. Sirius blushed at her implication and wanted to say something, but Regulus beat him to it.

"Let's go. _Now_ ," he said to his brother, and Sirius proceeded to place his trunk on top of Regulus' on the trolley. Remus and James exchanged glances at Sirius' out-of-character display of obedience. Sirius usually never took any orders from anyone, and this was a sign showing how subdued Sirius always was at home.

"Bye," Sirius said to them, and followed them to the barrier without so much as a glance back at them.

James sighed. _He's embarrassed for her behaviour._ Then he realised that any normal couple would be kissing or hugging each other before they parted, but Sirius and Remus couldn't do anything like that in public, because of family members like this. The only way they could show any affection to each other was through words. The cheesy dialogues didn't seem so cheesy now, they were a necessity.

Before she crossed the barrier, Bellatrix Black turned her head back to look at them, and her evil smile made James feel extremely nervous. _Oh Merlin, she's guessed about them. She knows._  
Remus didn't see her, he was looking only at Sirius. After she walked through the barrier, James quickly ran up to the brothers. "Sirius, wait!" he yelled. Remus hung back, he didn't want to intrude.

"What is it, Prongs?" asked Sirius.

"Will you be alright?" James asked him.

"What kind of question is that? Of course," Sirius said.

"Right, just making sure."

"I'll be fine, James," said Sirius. James didn't feel comfortable talking in front of Regulus, so Sirius gestured to Regulus to go through the barrier first.

"Make it quick, you know Bella, she's is not the most patient," muttered Regulus in his posh accent and walked through.

"You know you can always come to my house, right?" said James.

"Yeah, I know."

"No matter what time it is, just drop by-"

"Prongs, I'll be fine. What's wrong with you?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing."

"Fine, if I can, I'll definitely come over. Okay?" said Sirius.

James nodded. "Yeah, okay." Sirius patted his shoulder and walked through the barrier.

"Prongs, is everything okay?" asked Remus, approaching him as he watched the barrier. James quickly adjusted his expression and turned to Remus.  
 _No use worrying Moony right now._ "Yeah yeah," he said.

"Worried about him?" Remus asked.

"Not too much," James lied. Remus nodded, and James knew he didn't believe him. "I just get this feeling, you know..."

Remus nodded. "Hopefully it's only a feeling."

Remus' and James' parents were searching for the boys together. "There they are," said Mia, pointing at Remus' head, and they all walked up to them.

"It's so easy to spot him, he's so tall," said Monty, and everyone laughed.

In another part of London, specifically Number 12, Grimmauld Place, Orion Black was running his hand lightly along his ancestral tapestry. His other hand contained a crystal goblet, from which he sipped a sage-green liquid. His eyes flicked to his wife when he heard a knock on the door. "They are here, my dear," she said, raising her eyebrows pointedly, and he gave her a curt nod.

"You may enter," she said loudly and two boys entered the room. They were surprised to see their father and automatically glanced at each other before greeting their parents politely.

Orion finally turned around and smiled at his sons.


	55. Death with Chocolate

**Warning: Abuse.**

* * *

Sirius and Regulus smiled back at their father nervously. Orion was only home for big occasions, and Sirius remembered Phineas' warning and felt a little scared. He wondered what was going to happen to him.

"Knotgrass Mead," he announced to the room, indicating the goblet in his hand. "It's made by wildflower sprites."

Sirius rolled his eyes. He had first thought it was Paulopabita's Fishy Green Ale that he and James once drank at Hog's Head. _Should've known... father wouldn't be caught dead drinking something like that._

"Regulus, come and sit here," said Walburga, patting the seat beside her on the couch, pointedly ignoring Sirius. From that, he gathered that she was still mad at him for not coming home for Christmas.

"Sirius," Orion motioned to his eldest to join him at the tapestry. Sirius walked over resignedly, preparing himself for another history lesson about their 'noble' ancestors. "Here," he said, pouring another glass of mead and handing it to Sirius. He accepted the goblet uncertainly.

"No need to look so doubtful," said Orion, smirking at him. "Go on, have a taste."

Sirius took a sip. It had a strong astringent taste which made his eyes water, but the fruity aroma seemed to make up for it. "Sublime flavour," he agreed, trying not to grimace. He definitely preferred wine over this.

"You see, the heir to the Black family is as regal as the ones before him," Orion said, turning to glance at his wife.

She twisted her mouth in an annoying pouty fashion. "We'll see," she said, glaring at Sirius for the first time since they'd arrived.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked crossly, and Walburga was on her feet in an instant. Regulus stood up quickly too.

"Do not speak to your mother like that," Orion growled , setting his goblet aside. His demeanour had changed completely. His parents were advancing on him menacingly and his brother Regulus' eyes skirted around the room, as if one of the dark artefacts would suddenly jump up and diffuse the situation.

"I'm sorry, mother. I didn't mean it like that," Sirius tried.

"I know you meant it exactly like you said it, you ungrateful boy! Don't you dare deny it," she said splenetically. She seemed so angry, her mouth was unable to form words properly.

She turned to her husband. "This is your fault! If you hadn't been so lenient with him, he would've learnt how to behave like a proper heir to this noble and ancient house!" she yelled. "He wouldn't have stayed back at Hogwarts and missed your parents' sixtieth wedding anniversary!"

"Lenient?! Is that what you call starving me, chaining me to a ball and whipping-"

 _SLAP!  
_ Walburga had slapped him so hard, he'd dropped the goblet in his hands. The goblet weirdly bounced on the carpet instead of shattering, and the carpet soaked up the mead. Sirius's cheek burned so badly that he couldn't even touch it. He looked at his mother in anguish.  
"You already had _Wera_ on your gloves, didn't you?" he asked his mother. "You'd already made up your mind to hit me, whether or not I did anything. You just needed an excuse."

"Silence!" Orion yelled. "When you're punished, you need to bear it in a dignified manner!"

Sirius fell silent. _Nothing I say will make a difference anyway._

Orion took a deep breath and put his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose, reminding Sirius of Professor McGonagall. He sorely wished he was still back at school.

"You know, I had a meeting in Wembley today," Orion said, his voice sounded like the crackling of a sparkler firecracker. "But instead, I came back to the house to give you boys a proper welcome. And to educate you on the history and great achievements of the heirs before."  
Then he turned to look at his wife. "I'm going back today. You're always saying I'm too lenient, so I give you leave to do whatever it takes to make him see how important this is," he told her, and she nodded curtly.

Sirius's heart thudded painfully. "Father-"

"What did I say before about punishment?" Orion asked, scooping some floo powder out of an ornate gilded box.

Sirius resisted the urge to take his wand out and _Reducto_ the stupid box. "Bear it in a dignified manner," he repeated politely.

"See, he's already falling in line," Orion muttered to Walburga, who glanced at Sirius with eyes full of hate.  
Then he turned to Sirius. "What you will learn over the next few days is important, Sirius. Our ancestors were great people, and by learning about their lives, you'll understand the potential of your role as heir to this great family - what you can do for this family and the society in general. You'll be of age in November this year, and all this will be in preparation for that."

"What-" Sirius was going to ask him what exactly would happen when he turned seventeen, but Orion interrupted him again.

"Don't argue with your mother," he said, and threw the floo powder into the fire and stepped into it.

When the emerald green flames disappeared, Walburga turned to her sons. "Both of you go wash up and get ready for dinner," she told them in a long-suffering voice.

"Yes, mother," said Sirius, and left the room quickly.

Regulus followed him out wordlessly. When they started climbing the stairs, he turned to his brother. "Sirius, why in the name of Merlin can't you just behave?" he asked angrily.

"Everything I said made sense, didn't it? _Didn't it?_ " Sirius asked.

"It did, but can't you just keep quiet about it anyway?!"

"But you saw her! She'd already put _Wera_ on her hands before I'd even said anything! What do you call that?"

"What is _Wera_?"

"Ah, you're such a goody-two-shoes, you don't even know what it is. There probably won't be any situation where you'd have to know what it is."

"Siri, what the hell is it?!"

"It's a powder, Reggie. It causes a nice burning sensation when made contact with skin."

Regulus's eyes widened in horror. "Why can't you just do as you're asked, at least as long as you're at home?" he asked sadly.

Sirius sighed as they reached their floor. "I… I don't think I can kill my self-respect and become a puppet in their hands, Regulus. I just _can't._ "

Regulus looked up at his big brother, with his eyes full of fear. "I'm scared of what she'll do to you."

"She won't kill the heir, right?" Sirius joked, trying to make light of the situation, but Regulus didn't smile. He just stared at Sirius for a minute, then began closing his bedroom door. "Wait... Reggie."

"What?"

"The Hollyhead Harpies are playing the day after tomorrow."

"Do you want me to ask mother if we can go?" asked Regulus, perking up.

Sirius smiled. "Don't ask her tonight, you need to look for the right moment, like when she's in a good mood." Regulus nodded and shut his door. _As if mother is ever in a good mood._

Dinner that night was turning out to be a silent, eerie affair, as Walburga Black plotted various methods to torture her eldest. "Mother," said Regulus tentatively, afraid of interrupting her.

"Yes, love?" she asked.

"There's a game this Friday-" Sirius shook his head urgently at him. This was _not_ the right time to ask her.

"Quidditch?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I was wondering if we could go see it," said Regulus.

"Not on Friday, I have an appointment on Friday."

Sirius poked a pea angrily with his fork. _An appointment where? At the hairdresser's?_

"Well, maybe Uncle Alfie could take us," said Regulus.

"Alphard is in Russia on business."

"Oh," said Regulus, looking dejected.

"There's another game, three weeks from now at the Unctuous Osbert Stadium," said Sirius, unable to stop himself.

"Who is playing?" Regulus asked him excitedly.

"Falmouth Falcons vs the Chudley Cannons," Sirius replied.

"Fantastic," said Regulus.

Walburga slowly turned her head to look at Sirius. "So this was all your idea?" she asked dangerously.

"Yes, mother," said Sirius, and he knew she would immediately say no because he wanted it so badly. But, to his surprise, she didn't.

"Alright, obey every rule for the next three weeks, follow _every_ direction, and I'll let you go to the game," she told him.

"Yes, mother."

Sirius couldn't sleep all night. At first, he tried to force himself to sleep. When that didn't work, he took out the Terry Pratchett books Remus had given him for his last birthday. There was a dog called Gaspode in the books, and Sirius liked to think he behaved a lot like an animagus. Reading the book helped him not to think what daybreak might bring for him.

Regulus didn't sleep either. He was worried. _You just can't be different and be a Black! Either you conform… or you're made to._

Sirius was forced to learn the 'achievements' of all the previous heirs off by heart. If he didn't answer even one question correctly, his punishment consisted of writing lines until his hand ached.  
One morning, his mother told him about a cousin of her's, named Araminta Meliflua Black, who had tried to get the Ministry of Magic to pass a bill that would make muggle hunting legal. "Ridiculous mudblood lovers fill the Ministry these days, they turned down that bill," she said, her tone suggesting that muggle-hunting was this revolutionary, righteous thing that they were being denied. Then she looked at him, as if daring him to argue with her. Anger and frustration bubbled up in his stomach like champagne, but he couldn't say anything to her. If he did, they wouldn't be allowed to go to the game, and he would have let Regulus down yet again.  
 _She's so cunning!_  
When she left the room, he lost his temper and flipped the writing desk in anger. The resulting punishment was ten cuts on his forearms, (his mother had cleverly used a dark spell that wouldn't allow the blood to clot until hours later). That blood loss combined with no food had resulted in Sirius fainting in the middle of his afternoon 'classes'.  
But still, as he lay in bed a week later, he genuinely felt like he could gladly bear all those punishments again, rather than face what was coming up tomorrow. It was the big Black family reunion dinner, and he dreaded sitting through six courses of muggle-hating and Slytherin madness.  
 _Bellatrix will be there. She'd looked way too happy when she'd dropped us off last week. She's definitely up to something, the deranged girl!_

When the night of the dinner arrived, Regulus and Sirius, both wearing dress robes, marched downstairs and joined the rest of the family in the dining room. Sirius took his seat at the far end of the table, away from his mother, and Regulus was about to join him, when Bellatrix sat down beside him and simpered at him. Regulus walked back up the table and sat down around the middle instead, and Sirius got up and joined him. Sirius and Regulus always sat together at tables, it was an unwritten pact between them. It was the only thing they did together anymore, they had grown apart ever since Sirius got put in Gryffindor. Sirius knew Regulus could see what their parents were, but he wondered why he didn't protest, why he was so obedient, and how to change it.  
Then he saw that Bella had moved up the table as well. "What is she up to?" he asked his brother, but Regulus just shrugged.

Everyone sat down in their fabulous robes and jewels, and started eating. As they got through the five courses, Sirius thought that being ignored by his parents was actually a blessing. Finally, the dessert - a rich, chocolate cake was brought out by Kreacher. Their Aunt Druella praised the dessert by saying it was so chocolatey it was criminal, reminding Sirius of his boyfriend. He smiled to himself as the thought warmed his heart. _Ah, Moony.  
_ He drowned out the awful discussion going on around him, by thinking about how much he loved watching Remus eat chocolate. And how he loved to kiss him right after, so he could taste the chocolate in his mouth. He put a forkful in his mouth.  
 _Wow, this is actually delicious. Hmm, maybe I could find a way to write to Moony and describe the cake in great detail, just to make him jealous._

Bellatrix had been waiting for this exact moment - the moment Sirius let his guard down. All night she had been observing him, he'd been tense and alert, but now that he was a little relaxed, the punch she would throw at him would hit him harder. She was truly an insidious piece of work. Then she spoke. "Oh Aunt! Have you heard the good news yet?" she asked Sirius' mother. Sirius and Regulus looked up immediately in trepidation. They thought she was going to talk about Voldemort.

"Why no dear, tell me quick then, what is it?" her aunt replied enthusiastically.

Bellatrix half-glanced at Sirius and said, "Well it's not my news to tell, aunt. It's your son's."

Walburga looked at Regulus, surprised, and asked, "What is the news dear? Did you receive full marks in a test again?" Then she announced in general, "Regulus is very intelligent." The people near her nodded enthusiastically.

Regulus hesitated and then said, "Mother, yes! Have I told you? I have been made Seeker for the Slytherin team!"

"Oh but we know that already, dear! And we are _very_ proud!" she said and tittered. Everyone murmured appreciation and smiled.

"Well done, my boy!" I knew _you_ would make the family proud!" said Arcturus Black, and Sirius knew his grandfather was emphasising the fact that Sirius never did anything to make the family proud.

Then Bellatrix sat up straighter and said, "Aunt, it's not _Reg_ I'm talking about," and simpered at Sirius.

"Well?" asked Walburga, looking at Sirius. _I hope he's at least received high marks in something, even though that wouldn't be enough to hide the shameful fact that he's in Gryffindor. What a disgrace!_

He hastily swallowed the cake. Everyone was looking at him. "I really don't have any news, mother. I do not know what Bella is talking about," he said quickly.

"Don't be shy Sirius, just spill it," said Bellatrix, smirking at him.

He glared at her, hating her. _Why does she always do this?! I hate her so much!_

"Well if you won't tell them, I will," she told him and turned to Walburga. "Aunt, Sirius has a special someone in his life!" she said.

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. _What even is she talking about?_ Then he remembered the train station. _Why did she have to be there? I'd only wanted to say goodbye! Fuck._ A small slip-up like that was now going to earn him extra punishment. _That's why Bellatrix is so happy. The sadist._

"Really? A Girl? Who is it then?" Walburga asked, sharing a look with her husband. "I do hope it isn't that McKinnon girl. She always annoys me so much."

"No, Marlene's a friend. There's no one mother, really," said Sirius. His heart was beating fast. _Surely Bellatrix wouldn't! She couldn't be that evil!_

But Bellatrix was. She said the very thing he was dreading. "Oh but it's true aunt, I saw them holding hands on the platform!"

He sat frozen and unable to move. He could feel everyone's eyes upon him.

Then, Narcissa, his other cousin said, "If he is not comfortable telling us yet, I think we should not force him, Bella?" and Sirius breathed again.

"No, Narcissa dear," said Orion. "I want to know. Tell us the name, Bella! The girl on the platform. Who was she?"

Bellatrix replied in an overly polite manner, "Oh Uncle, I did say I saw them on the platform, but I never said it was a _girl_!"

Sirius closed his eyes in horror. _Godric, I am going to die tonight._ He wished he were already dead rather than bear what would happen next. His ears were ringing. Regulus shifted his leg slightly so that his knee touched Sirius', letting him know he was there.  
Everyone was looking wide-eyed at each other. Narcissa was staring at Sirius, horrified, but Uncle Cygnus looked like Christmas had come early. Cygnus and Druella had been distraught after Andromeda's disinheritance, but it seemed like this scandal would make everyone forget that one.

Sirius opened his eyes again, and looked around, he saw his grandfather Arcturus give him the most ugly look ever. "Aristotle once said, that persuasion is achieved by the speaker's personal character... when the speech is so spoken so as to make him credible," he said, raising his eyebrows at Walburga. She looked like she wanted to argue back, but nodded firmly at him.

Sirius blushed at the implication. _So they are to persuade me? Convince me?_

Narcissa was annoyed. "E B White once said, that prejudice is a great time saver... you can form opinions without having to face the facts," she said.

"Who is E B White?" Druella whispered to Cygnus, he shook his head.

"Oscar Wilde once said, that by giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community," added Bellatrix snidely.

"Are you calling me uneducated?" asked Narcissa angrily.

"When I hear _muggle_ sayings, it's hard not to…"

"Ah Bella, if you will remember what Oswald Spengler wrote," said Melania, their grandmother. "For the Age has itself become _vulgar,_ and most people have no idea to what extent they are themselves tainted. The efforts of writers to win popularity by ridiculing in their novels and plays, the correctness of well-bred people; and the bad taste shown even by the nobility and old princely families in _throwing off_ every kind of social restraint and time-honoured custom: all of these go to prove that it is now the vulgar mob that gives the tone." Then she winked at Bellatrix. Arcturus looked at his wife proudly.

Regulus felt terrible. He glanced sideways at his brother. Sirius had tears in his eyes as his family members continued to criticise him using stupid, out-of-context quotes from long-dead men.

Arcturus cleared his throat loudly, and everyone stopped talking at once. "Spengler also said that, world history is the history of great cultures, and it's peoples are but the symbolic forms and vessels in which the men of great cultures _fulfil their destinies_ ," he said, looking at Sirius. Sirius knew exactly what that meant for him. He was supposed to do his duty and fulfil his destiny. There was no going against Arcturus' word in the Black family. Sirius looked down at his slice of cake. He couldn't take another bite of it. His hands were starting to shake slightly.

"I do not think such heavy dialogue is required at present," said Pollux, Sirius' maternal grandfather, a little nervous under Arcturus' gaze.

"What are you talking about, honey?" asked Irma, his wife.

"Regulus told me over Christmas, that Sirius escorted a girl to Horace Slughorn's Annual Christmas Party," Pollux told her.

Sirius looked at Regulus angrily. _The little Knarl! What a bigmouth!_ Regulus looked back at him guiltily.

"For Salazar's sake, there is hope yet!" said Irma, and everyone laughed. "Who is the girl?" she asked Sirius. "Is she a pureblood?"

"Yes, Dorca-" he was going to say, but Regulus nudged him. "Wallace," he whispered.

"What are you brothers talking about?" Irma asked loudly. "I must know it immediately."

"She is a halfblood, grandmother," said Regulus. "Her last name is Wallace." Irma and Pollux smiled at Sirius, approving his choice. A halfblood girlfriend was a infinitely better than a boyfriend, even if he was completely pure of blood.

Arcturus frowned. "I've never heard of that name, are they from England?"

"They're grandfather was an American wizard," said Regulus.

"I see," said Arcturus.

Sirius frowned at Regulus, wondering why and when he had gathered all this information on Amanda. Then he glanced at Narcissa, her expression was completely neutral, but her eyes said many things. She was worried for him, she knew something he didn't. Then he looked at his parents, who were whispering to each other.

It was after twelve, Sirius was still sat at the table, surrounded by empty coffee pots and cups, remnants of their last course. He shook his head as he thought of Regulus, who'd probably gone downstairs to say goodbye to their cousins. He sometimes admired his little brother's ability to conform.  
 _How in the name of Merlin's top hat, does he do it?  
_ There was a gentle pop and he looked up. Kreacher came to collect the dishes. He knew Kreacher hated him too.  
 _What should I say if they ask? That we're friends, yes! That we weren't holding hands, but shaking hands like a couple of mates. Why didn't I think of that earlier?!_

Meanwhile, upstairs in the drawing room, Orion sat on the large sofa, his crystal goblet filled with turnip wine this time. He was also thinking hard. Walburga was looking at the tapestry of the Black Family tree, which had adorned the walls of this room since the middle ages... how the traitors of the Black way of life had been blasted off the tapestry. Disowned. Regulus looked between both his parents, wondering what they were going to do, and jumped when his mother addressed him.

"Reggie honey, please go and get your brother, we need to talk to him."

He looked back at her and started saying carefully, "Mother, I-"

But Orion interrupted him, "Don't make her repeat herself, Regulus," he said sternly, and Regulus had no choice but to go upstairs and knock on Sirius' door. There was no answer. He knocked again and waited. Still no answer.

"I'm coming in," he announced and opened the door. It was empty. He walked in and looked around. He spotted a photo on the wall, amongst other stuff. There was Sirius with his three best friends. The third boy in the photo, was the Prefect, who'd been holding hands with Sirius on the platform.  
 _Sweet Salazar, my brother is a homosexual! But then what about that Wallace girl?  
_ Regulus had been at Slughorn's party too, and he had seen his brother snogging Amanda, and now he didn't know what to think. He went back down to the drawing room. "He isn't there, mother."

Orion immediately summoned Kreacher. "Kreacher at your service, Master," said Kreacher in his deep voice.

"Kreacher, go and find Sirius and bring him here. He seems to be hiding somewhere in the house!" said Walburga shrilly. Kreacher bowed and went back down to the kitchens and returned with Sirius.


	56. Crema de zahăr ars

Sirius entered the room and spotted Regulus standing in a corner, avoiding his eye, and his heart sank a little.

"Ah Sirius, there you are," Orion said casually. "Come here."  
Sirius walked over to his father.  
"Sit."  
Sirius sat down in the chair at the desk.  
"This Wallace girl," said Orion, "Is the courtship serious, or was it just a formal thing?"

Sirius didn't know what to say. If they realised that he was actually a homosexual, he knew he would be punished severely. Maybe even disinherited, like Andromeda. And to escape punishment, if he told them that things were serious with Amanda, they might want to meet her. And he couldn't have that, he hated her. He'd never let that happen. In the end, he decided against it. "It was a one-time thing," he told them.

Then, he was handed a photo. He made a face as he saw the people in the photo. A girl and a boy were sitting next to each other and laughing in front of a fountain. "Why am I looking at a photograph of Crabbe and his girlfriend?" he blurted out.

Orion chuckled humourlessly. His laugh was so creepy, it sent shivers down the spines of both his sons. "That is not his girlfriend, Sirius. That is his sister, Aurinda," he told him.

"Oh? I didn't know Arledge had a sister," said Regulus, leaning in and looking at the picture. Sirius handed him the photograph so he could look at it properly.

"Beautiful, is she not?" asked Walburga, smiling uncharacteristically.

"She is very... right, Sirius?" said Regulus, handing it back to him.

"Yes, of course. Very beautiful," Sirius agreed and held it out so his father could take it.

"Keep it," said Orion, patting Sirius' hand. "The Crabbes have been invited over for dinner next week, and I expect the two of you to be on your best behaviour."

The brothers nodded.

"Aurinda is in her final year at the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic," Walburga explained. "She's proficient in most of the modern languages, and has an interest in Astronomy." Sirius and Regulus shared glances.

"Yes, you must be wondering why we are telling you all this," said Orion, nodding his head.

"We couldn't help but notice your face at dinner today, when dear Bellatrix thought to tell us of your transgressions. Good girl, that one, letting us know, before the dinner with the Crabbes," said Walburga.

Orion glanced at his wife and back at Sirius. "Obviously, he is embarrassed for his behaviour, and will promise not ever to descend to such levels again, won't he?" Orion said.

Sirius looked sadly back at his narrow-minded father. _I was actually insulted, not embarrassed, not that you'd be interested to know._

"Because the heir to the Black fortune is not really a pansy little boy who is in the habit of regularly fornicating with other boys, is he, Sirius?" he asked,his voice increasing in volume with every word.

Sirius's eyebrows furrowed in tension. "Father…" he said, almost begging, and Orion sighed.

"You heard what grandfather said, didn't you? You are to fulfil your destiny, and that means to produce an heir to carry forward the Black line," said Orion. "It is tradition for the heir to get engaged when he comes of age."

" _Engaged?!_ But father, Bella is twenty-four and she's still not engaged-"

"Bellatrix is not the heir!" shouted Orion. "Like I already said, as heir, you have more responsibilities!" Then he took a deep breath to calm down. "Your mother and I met when we were that age as well. It's interesting that both grandfather and grandmother mentioned Spengler," he continued, glancing at his wife, who smiled indulgently at him. "It reminds me of a Spengler quote myself. Listen carefully, Sirius: Man makes history; woman _is_ history. The reproduction of the species is feminine: it runs steadily and quietly through all species, animal or human, through all short-lived cultures. It is primary, unchanging, everlasting, maternal, plantlike, and cultureless. If we look back, we find that it is synonymous with life itself."

Sirius sighed. _They are never going to understand me._

"You are to think about everything your grandfather and father have said to you tonight. Now, that is all. Go to your rooms," said Walburga.

Sirius climbed up the stairs in such a state, tripping over a couple of stairs, then pausing mid-step randomly, that Regulus thought he looked like an inferius. He didn't even seem to acknowledge his younger brother's presence.

"Sirius?" Regulus said. "Are you alright?"

Sirius looked at his brother. "Why did you tell grandfather Pollux about Amanda?" he asked.

"I had to tell them," said Regulus, pulling Sirius into his room and shutting the door.

"What do you mean, you had to?" asked Sirius angrily. "Have you no shame? No honour?"

"To hell with honour, Sirius-"

"Of course, protect your own arse," said Sirius unkindly. "Live your whole life with your tail between your legs."

"Sirius, do you think I am the only one who was asked to keep an eye on you at Hogwarts?" asked Regulus. "There are other people, and if I didn't tell them about Amanda, and they did, grandfather would know I was keeping other secrets too!"

"What other secrets are you keeping, Reggie?" asked Sirius curiously. "What are you doing at Hogwarts?"

"Siri, I can't tell you anything here, you never know who's listening around here," he whispered. "But remember the question you asked me outside the library in January?" Sirius nodded. "It's true."

Sirius nodded again. So, Regulus _was_ telling Dorcas what the Slytherins were up to, and Dorcas was relaying all that information to Dumbledore. It was a very efficient system, and he knew Regulus couldn't talk about it anywhere. He had to be more careful than Sirius was.

"Sirius, are you really a _homo_?" Regulus asked him after a while.

"Why are you asking me in that manner?" Sirius asked him. "I can't fucking help it! I would change myself if I could!" He thought how his father had said, 'regularly fornicating with other boys' in such a crude way, and his eyes filled with tears again. He felt wrong, and tainted, and worthy of his parents' resentment. That's what Orion and Walburga always succeeded in doing, they always made Sirius feel like he deserved being treated like shit.

Regulus felt bad. "Sorry."

Then Sirius thought of Remus. Thinking about Remus was like a lifeline, it brought him out of the depths of his despair. "Actually, I don't think I want to change..." he said.

Regulus swallowed. "So, what are you going to do about Miss Aurinda Crabbe?" he asked.

"I have no idea."

"They'll be here next week-"

"I know that!"

"It'll soon be Sirius weds Aurinda-"

"Shut up! _Shut up_ , Reggie!" said Sirius, and opened the door, and walked into his own room and shut his door.

The entire week leading up to the dinner, he wallowed in self-pity, because it seemed like the only thing he could do. He thought he would secretly write to his Uncle Alphard or Andromeda to ask for advice, but he was forbidden to write to anyone, ( _As if they normally allow me_ ) and was forced to endure lectures from his grandfather and uncle on the proper etiquette to adopt when interacting with members of the fairer sex. As the dinner loomed nearer, Sirius felt more and more anxious. What was he going to do?

Two evenings before the dinner, Walburga summoned Sirius to the living room and handed him a cardboard box.

"What is this, mother?" he asked her.

"They're just your dress robes for the dinner," she said and waved him off.

He took the box and climbed the stairs as slowly as possible, not wanting to reach his room. Because, if he reached the room, he'd have to open the box and look at the dress robes he'd be wearing the day after tomorrow. He wished he could keep climbing those stairs forever. But, he soon reached his room, and he walked in and shut the door.  
He looked around his room, and then he slowly walked over to his bed and sat down. He placed the box next to him and opened it. There was something made of velvet in there. He huffed and pushed the box away. He wasn't hungry anymore. He heard the bell ring for dinner, but he skipped it and stayed in his room.  
His silk pillowcase was very wet that evening. _What? I'm to meet this girl and then get engaged to her? Pretend to like her? Marry her? Make love to her?!_ That last thought made him feel odd.  
 _I wish Remus were here with me._  
But he knew he was just torturing himself by wishing for that, because it would never come true. He sniffed and wiped his nose, and turned to his right on the pillow. He missed Remus so much, it physically hurt.

At the same time, Remus was in a barn in Wales, feeding a donkey some pieces of pear. The donkey was a new mum, so she was ravenous, she quickly ate the pear. He chuckled and patted her on the head. Then Remus heard his mum call him for dinner, so he went up to the house, wondering why he was suddenly feeling anxious about having dinner.

"You have a letter, darling," said his mother. "It's on the fridge."

Remus quickly grabbed the letter and checked it. It had a muggle post mark, and it was from Lily. They had been exchanging letters the muggle way while he was here at his aunt and uncle's. Remus sighed. He wished it had been from Sirius. He didn't know why he had expected it to be from Sirius anyway, because he already knew Sirius never wrote from home.

"Everything alright?" asked his mum.

His uncle Ben chuckled at him. "No sister, everything isn't alright," he said, removing his muddy wellingtons at the door.

Remus looked up at his uncle. "What?"

"You were expecting a letter from someone else, weren't you?" said Ben.

"Really?!" asked Hope, suddenly excited. "Is there a girl?"

"Nothing like that, mum," said Remus, grinning.

"There definitely is, look at that smile," said Catherine, an old lady who was related to Remus' mother in some complicated way. All of the adults laughed at him.

Remus thought it was best not to argue, he just shook his head and tore open the letter.

"Wait, you can read your letter after dinner," said his aunt Brynn, setting the table.

"Okay," said Remus, walking up to the table. He saw that the only place that was free, was beside his father. And he wasn't going to sit next to his father.

"Sit down, Remus," said Brynn. "Would you like some parsnips?"

Remus knew his mum had done this on purpose, she'd noticed that Remus was avoiding talking to and sitting beside his father ever since he had arrived home. She also knew it was because of the incident in January, but she had made her mind up to get her husband and son on talking terms again.

"Can I sit somewhere else?" said Remus directly.

"What's the matter? I fixed that chair," said Ben.

"It wasn't that chair, it's this one, and you haven't fixed it, Ben," said Catherine, rocking the chair to make it creak.

"Don't do that, you'll fall off the chair, Cathy," said Hope. Everyone looked up at Remus. Remus avoided his father's eyes.

"Remus, just sit down," said Hope.

"I don't think I will, mum," said Remus stubbornly.

"Why not?" asked Catherine, everyone was puzzled.

"Please Remus, this has gone on long enough," said Hope.

"What's the matter? What happened?" asked Brynn.

"Remus and Lyall had a disagreement over New Year's, and Remus is still mad-"

"It wasn't a disagreement, he nearly hit me!" said Remus indignantly. Ben and Brynn exchanged shocked looks.

"I feel really bad about that, Remus, but let me remind you, that I did not hit you," said Lyall.

"That was just because mum stopped you," Remus retorted.

"You were being really irresponsible at the time, don't forget that," said Lyall.

"Well nothing happened, did it?" said Remus. "Everything was fine in the end."

"You got lucky that time," said Lyall, standing up and throwing his napkin on his plate. "It seems like you still haven't learnt your lesson!"

"I have, I know I'm supposed to be careful, I just can't believe-" said Remus.

"What do you expect me to say?" asked Lyall angrily. "I'm not going to apologise to you, Remus, I'm your father." Remus glared at him.  
"Don't behave like a child," said Lyall, sitting down again. "Sit down and eat your dinner."

Remus looked at the food in front of him. "Somehow, I don't feel hungry anymore. Enjoy your food," he told them in a quiet voice, and left with Lily's letter. He heard his aunt and uncle call after him, but he didn't listen. He knew he was being stubborn, but he didn't feel good at the moment, he felt agitated for some reason. He went up to the room he was sharing with his parents, and opened the window and took a deep breath. _What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?_

A while later, he heard a knock on the door, and his mum walked in with a glass of milk. "At least drink this," she said. Remus never drank plain milk, but this was fresh from the farm, from Gertie the cow, so she knew he liked it.

"I'm sorry, mum," he said. "I have no idea why I behaved like that-"

"It's okay," she said.

"It's not, I embarrassed you guys."

"Ben and Brynn already know, not about the _thing_ , but about the disagreement," said Hope.

"Mum, why can't you say the word 'werewolf'?" he asked her. "Are you disgusted by it?"

"I'm not!" she said. "I just... you're only the wolf for one night, and I don't want to link your whole life with it, I want to know you're still my son."

"I _am_ your son, mum," said Remus, taking the glass of milk. "But you can't separate the wolf from me, it's a part of me... and right now, it's actually trying to tell me something, but I can't figure it out."

"What do you mean it's trying to tell you something?" Hope asked, looking around the room as if to spot the wolf lurking there somewhere.

"Mum, what are you doing?" asked Remus. "The wolf isn't here," he said, gesturing at the room, "It's here," he said, tapping his temple.

"I see," she said, nodding. "I get it now."

"How much do you know about werewolves, exactly?"

"Not much, really," she said, shrugging. "Your dad always said that there weren't any good wizarding books on werewolves, because they're all prejudiced. So I never got to read any."

"He's not wrong."

Hope nodded again. "I guess I don't really know anything."

"Right," said Remus. "That's why you're scared to say the word."

"I guess."

"What happened to me was bad, mum, but what happens to me now, and what is happening to me right this minute... I try not to see them as bad."

Hope smiled. "That's a good way of looking at it."

"My friends helped me see that," said Remus, smiling.

"So, what is happening to you right now?" she asked, folding her hands.

"I'm not sure, I feel really nervous and worried, but I can't seem to understand why," said Remus.

"Perhaps you should just sleep on it," she suggested. "Maybe you'll figure it out by morning... or you might even have a dream about it."

"You know, you actually might be right," he said, drinking some milk. Hope pointed at his milk moustache and laughed at him.

Some seventy miles from London, Euphemia Potter was standing in her large closet, deciding how to arrange her summer dresses so that she could easily access them, when she heard a _tap-tap-tap_ on her window. There was an all-black owl glaring at her through the glass. She opened the window and took the letter from it, the letter was addressed to her son. She walked to James' room and knocked on his door, but he wasn't there. She walked in and looked out of his window, and spotted him amongst the grape vines, helping one of the house elves harvest the grapes.

"Ah, Mia, I didn't know you would be joining us," said Monty, who wasn't helping, he was sitting on a large rock, smoking his pipe.

"Jamesie has a letter from Peter," she said, walking up to him.

James put down his basket and took the letter from her. "Thanks, mum."

Mia sat beside her husband on the rock. "Peter, eh? Isn't he in Romania?" asked Monty.

"He is," said James, opening the letter and reading it.

 _Dear Prongs,  
Hope you're well. We've just arrived in Sibiu, capital city of the principality of Transylvania. It's very different from England here, but it's exactly as I pictured it - very idyllic, as Remus would put it, haha. Nobody speaks English here, it's either Romanian or Transylvanian Saxon, so my aunt and uncle tell me to stick with my cousins when we go out sight-seeing.  
My cousin Razvan (named after their old family healer, is that weird or what?) thought it would be funny to leave me in an antique shop and run away as a joke. _

James laughed.

 _It took me five hours to find my way home, one of the men I asked for directions near the city centre, looked like he could have been a vampire, he wanted to help me find my way home! He started following me, and in the end, I had to turn a corner and quickly transform to escape him! And I swore to myself I'll never complain about all those sleepless nights we spent practising it, haha. (Don't tell Sirius I said that, he'd come all the way to Sibiu just to kick my arse)._

James laughed again.

 _And when I did reach home, mum started yelling at me, and then she started crying. Apparently she had been really worried about me. Razvan and Marku, my other cousin, sat on the stairs and laughed at me the whole time. Stupid Marku. I told him his name was stupid, and that if he ever came to England, everyone would make fun of him. He told me that Marku was a way better name than Peter, which was so quintessentially English (which he means is terribly boring), and that he'd never want to visit England anyway.  
_ _Uncle Peter, after whom I'm named, is a muggle just like mum, and is completely normal. By that, I mean he loves to eat. Which is a good thing, because Aunt Yedda is an amazing cook,_ _she made me this vanilla pudding called Crema de Zaher. Or it was called Crema de Zahar, I don't know how to spell it properly, but the pudding was heavenly, it was all caramelised on the top and everything. Aunt Yedda is really good at Transfiguration too, she turned a chicken into a duck and used it in her cooking, it came out perfectly too.  
A letter from Moony was waiting for me when I got here. As I was reading it, my cousins started making fun of me, and then I realised that Marku had already read it and resealed it with magic. Because it was signed Moony, they thought it was from a girl, hence the making fun. So childish, can you believe it? I tried to tell them it was a nickname for a bloke, but they didn't believe me, so I gave up. I guess I now have a girlfriend._

James laughed again. _If Sirius ever found out that Peter has a girlfriend named Moony, he would really go all the way to Sibiu to kick his arse._

"What's so funny, James?" asked Monty.

"Er, Pete thinks he may have encountered his first vampire," James told his parents.

"Oh my, what happened?" asked Mia.

"The man wanted to help Peter find his way back home," said James.

"But that's really dangerous, if he was invited into their home by any chance, he could easily kill them!" said Mia.

"Peter escaped, mum, don't worry," James assured her. "He's quite good at escaping, come to think of it. And I'm pretty sure everyone in their family knows to take the proper precautions."

"Yes, Mia, they _live_ in Transylvania, for Merlin's sake!" said Monty.

"His aunt's actually Romanian, she'll know everything, so it's all good," said James.

"Well, okay, then," said Mia.

 _I told Aunt Yedda what they did, and instead of scolding them, she simply told me that she lets them do magic at home for practice. Anyway, did Remus tell you about that pregnant donkey in his uncle's barn? I can't believe he actually helped his uncle deliver the foal! I could never do that.  
Alright, got to go now, Razvan is taking me to go see a thousand-year-old church, so that should be exciting. Hopefully he doesn't leave me in the cemetery, this time, otherwise they'd have to directly bury me there the next morning.  
Write soon,  
Yours Ingurgitatingly,  
Wormtail.  
P.S. Don't want to worry you, but have you heard from Sirius? He didn't show up to the Harpies' game like he said he would, Hristov even checked the Exclusive lounge, but neither Black nor Baby Black were anywhere to be seen. I guess his mum didn't give them permission to go. It was an excellent game, though. I'll marry Lucy Goldman if she lets me._

James smiled at the joke at the end, but he frowned again. _I wish Sirius would just write! Just let me know he's breathing. Is that so hard?!_ But he knew why Sirius didn't write, it was because he wasn't allowed to. _Mental. They're all mental._


	57. French Astronomical Society

**Warning: Abuse.**

* * *

Regulus stared at Aurinda Crabbe. "Siri, there's something wrong with her mouth!" he whispered to his brother.

"Regulus, don't be rude!" Sirius whispered back. Aurinda Crabbe sat directly opposite to them at the dinner table, and she smiled at the two brothers. They smiled back uneasily. Then she leaned towards her brother and said something to him in his ear. Arledge Crabbe grimaced, glanced at Sirius and whispered something back.

"Yes, that's it. Tell her how awful I am, Crabbe. Dissuade her completely," muttered Sirius, more to himself. "This is going better than I hoped."

"This treacle tart is delectable, Mrs. Black," said Aurinda politely.

"Thank you, dear," Walburga smiled at Aurinda almost warmly, and Regulus was shocked. He didn't think it was possible for his mother to ever make that face.

After dinner, it was decided that Sirius and Aurinda should be left alone to talk, and everyone moved to the living room for coffee. As they were leaving, Narcissa dawdled at the doorway. Sirius quickly got up and walked over to her. "Cissy, what am I going to do?!" he asked her urgently.

"Your grandfather nearly forbade me from coming after the stunt I pulled last time-"

"Just because of the E B White quote?! The devil-"

"Sirius, focus. You can't say no to the engagement," she told him, her mouth was barely moving as she spoke, so Aurinda couldn't lip-read her. She was so good, Sirius thought she would have a good career as a ventriloquist.

" _Tell me something I don't know, Cissy!_ "

"But the girl has the right to refuse," said Narcissa patiently. "She doesn't even have to give a reason…" she said and raised her eyebrows pointedly, and Sirius nodded. Then she gave the waiting Aurinda a dazzling smile and walked out, shutting the door behind her. Sirius slowly walked back to his seat, grinning awkwardly at Aurinda, wondering how on Earth he was going to pull this off.

Aurinda looked around the room. "Erm, so do you speak French?"

"Yes, I do. French and Latin," he replied, nodding.

"This townhouse, it's quite quaint," she said, smiling a little.

Sirius grinned. He knew what she meant. "This house was built back in the fourteenth century, then remodelled during Victorian England. My parents like staying here for sentimental reasons."

"I see," she replied. Then she played with her goblet, looking at the Black family crest on it.

"We do have a country estate, my cousins live there," he added. "It's much brighter there," wondering why he was making her feel comfortable. _I should be doing the opposite!_

"Oh no, I didn't mean it like that, Sirius!" she said quickly. "I'm sorry if I came across as offensive."

"You can be completely honest with me, Ms. Crabbe," he said to her.

She tilted her head in response. "Well, if you want me to be completely honest, my brother doesn't think very highly of you," she said.

Sirius grinned. "I don't really think very highly of your brother, either." And he felt a little relief that Arledge Crabbe had already graduated, and won't be able to spread this story all over school, come autumn.

"But that won't be a problem, right? He's not the one marrying you," she said, gauging his reaction.

Sirius didn't know what to say to that. "Er... Right," he managed to see.

She frowned slightly. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

 _Not exactly._ "It's complicated," he told her, making her laugh.

"Isn't it always?" she said, laughing again. She laughed easily.

"I haven't told anyone yet..." he said, and she nodded.

"I get it, Sirius. You only accepted this engagement because of your parents, am I right?" she asked, and he hesitated for a moment and then nodded.

"I know. I'm in a similar position too. I don't have a lover, but I really want to settle in France, if you can understand. I was born there, I studied there… not to mention I've already received a job offer from the Société Astronomique de France, wizarding division!" she said proudly.

"That's amazing!" he said, genuinely happy for her.

"Don't worry, I'll get us out of this mess," she said, smiling at him. Sirius sat there, unable to believe that the fates had ruled in his favour for once.

The next evening, Sirius stood beside his brother in the study, waiting for their father to say something. But he just drank his firewhiskey. Orion had forgotten a while ago, how many drinks he'd had - he was past drunk. But he fumed as he sipped more.  
Walburga entered the study noiselessly, and shut the door with a snap, making the two boys jump. She walked slowly towards the seating area and waved a letter in Sirius' face. "Do you know what this is?" she asked menacingly, sitting down in an armchair.

"No."

"It's a letter from Charlotte Crabbe, letting us know that Aurinda would _not_ like to go through with the engagement," she said, pouting at the letter.

Regulus thanked Merlin. But it wasn't over yet.

"I know it was you," she said in a mournful voice. "I know you did something!"

"What!" slurred Orion. The boys tensed. Drunk Orion didn't need a wand to inflict pain.

"Isn't it obvious?!" she shouted. "Sirius must have said something to make her change her mind about the engagement!"

"Is this true, Sirius?" asked Orion, advancing on the boys, the whiskey in his goblet sloshed around and spilled on the carpet.

"No, father! Aurinda wants to settle in Paris, she's even got a job lined up!"

Orion made a face. "Women don't need to work…"

"But she likes astronomy, isn't that what you said, mother?" said Sirius.

"Oh, wonderful," said Walburga, her voice now falsely joyful. "So, you encouraged her to stay and work in Paris, did you?"

"I didn't say anything, I only-" Sirius started to say, but she interrupted him.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I'D WORKED TO SECURE THIS ENGAGEMENT?! NO WOMAN WOULD HAVE YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN GRYFFINDOR!" She yelled at the top of her voice.

Sirius screwed up his mouth in frustration. "You mean no woman in your group of blood purist Slytherins," he corrected her and she snatched up a pewter vase from the side table and threw it at him. The boys ducked to avoid it, and it fell on the floor behind them, clanging loudly.

"You told her you were a homosexual, didn't you?" Orion asked him, looking at him unpleasantly.

"No I didn't, I swear! I swear!" Sirius said, and his father took a step back in disgust.

"So you _are_ a homosexual?" Orion said, grimacing.

Sirius didn't reply. He glanced at Regulus, who was shaking a little. He didn't want Regulus to witness whatever was going to happen next. So he said roughly, "Why is he here?"

"Go to bed, Regulus," said Orion immediately.

Regulus protested, but finally gave in. He walked across the room as slowly as possible, as if delaying the punishment somehow meant that it wouldn't happen. Finally, he closed the door. But Sirius knew he would be right outside, listening.

Walburga didn't waste any time in questioning him. "So who was it?" she asked him, standing up. Sirius looked confused. "Who was the boy on the platform?"

"Mother, it wasn't what it looked like. I was just shaking hands with my mates-"

"Do you think I am a fool? Bella clearly told me when she was leaving, that you had your fingers _interlocked_ with him!" she screamed, and waved her wand and a deep gash appeared on his cheek.

"I hate that bitch!" shouted Sirius, before he could stop himself.

"Shut your mouth!" roared Orion, gripping Sirius' hair and shoving him.

And because he did that, a reckless rage came over Sirius. He didn't care anymore. "Why should I? She _is_ a bitch!" he shouted, instead of trying to diffuse the situation.

Orion punched Sirius hard on his jaw and Sirius groaned in pain. He stumbled back, his legs hit the coffee table, and he fell to the floor. Lights erupted before his eyes, he thought he was going to faint.

"Now, tell me who that was!" shrieked his mother, waving her wand again. Three new gashes appeared on his arms, but somehow the sleeves remained intact.

"Mother please…." he begged her, clutching his wounds. His eyes filled with tears.

"Tell me, Sirius. Tell me who it was that made you homosexual," she asked, her eyes wild like a crazy person.

"No one made me, you can't make someone into a homosexual," he said to his mother, wiping his eyes.

"You're right, he's already a faggot, look at him! Crying like a girl," said Orion, loathing him. "I've no idea how he turned out like this in our family!"

"The more you resist, the more you will be punished, Sirius. So tell me what I want to know," his mother said, her voice low, but deadly.

Sirius didn't say anything. He knew this was a trap. He would be punished either way. So he wouldn't give in. He'd never say Remus' name, he wouldn't even think it in front of them.

"ANSWER YOUR MOTHER!" Orion shouted and kicked Sirius in the stomach.

The expensive dragonhide boots were as hard as steel, and Sirius whimpered, clutching his abdomen. Orion was about to kick him again, and he stopped the boot with his left hand.  
" _Don't kick me,_ " he told his father. Orion looked at his expression instinctively took a step back.

Sirius sat up gingerly and looked up at his parents' faces, they were filled with hate. "Mother, just think for a moment. Even if some girl agrees to marry me, she's- she's not a broomstick… she's not a toy or an accessory... she's a girl, she's a human being! She'll find out sooner or later that I can't love her… that I can't…" Sirius trailed away. "How will she feel then? Why would we want to put a girl through that?"

Regulus was outside with his ear to the door. When he heard this statement, he was astonished. He suddenly felt something new for his older brother, something that felt a lot like respect.

"So what are you saying? You refuse to get married?!" shouted Walburga.

"No no no no," said Orion in a sarcastic way. "That's not what he's saying, my dear. He is saying that even if some girl marries him, he'll refuse to have any children with her, that's what he's telling us!"

A frustrated sob escaped Sirius's lips before he could stop it and his eyes leaked more tears. He hurriedly wiped them away. "I can't do it mother, because... because I'm gay," he finally admitted.

"You're an ungrateful child, the shame of my flesh! You _disgust_ me!" said Walburga, also in tears.

"Why does _he_ disgust you? This is my fault for marrying you!" Orion said to his wife and she was shocked. "Don't you get it, you stupid woman? He takes after your bob tail of a brother!"

"Alphard is not a homosexual!" said Walburga, really offended.

"Oh, open your eyes, Wally, why do you think he never married?" asked Orion unkindly.

Walburga's chest heaved with rage as she turned to Sirius. "Why are you doing this to me? You are shaming my side of the family, why do you want to ruin us?!" she yelled.

"I'm not doing anything to anyone-" Sirius tried saying, but then, before she could stop herself, she did the impossible.

" _Crucio_!" she screamed, and red light filled the room. Sirius was on the floor, writhing in pain. He tried not to scream, but now he was screaming like he had never screamed before. The pain consumed him, he couldn't see, hear or feel anything else. It was just the pain that existed. Regulus tried to come in but the door was locked. He rattled the doorknob anyway.

Then the pain stopped. "Say it! Say you'll get married!" she yelled. Sirius gasped for air, unable to speak.

" _Crucio_!" she yelled again, and the incredible pain was back.

Regulus banged on the door with his fists, shouting, "MOTHER NOOOO! YOU CANNOT!" and suddenly Walburga realised what she was doing. She had used an Unforgivable curse. Again. She couldn't believe it! But more than that, she couldn't believe Sirius would 'betray' her like this! She ran to the door, flung it open and ran upstairs to her room, wailing like a banshee.

Regulus fell into the study and crawled over to Sirius and shook him, "Sirius? Sirius!" he cried. But Sirius knew none of this. He was unconscious. "Sirius, wake up!"

"Don't _you_ dare start weeping like a damn girl now!" shouted Orion, but Regulus ignored him.

"Sirius, please open your eyes!"

Orion was too drunk to notice what he was doing. He picked Regulus off the floor and threw him bodily out of the room. Regulus shuddered and scrambled up the stairs to his room. He had never seen his father like this before. He was crazy. Then, leaving his eldest son on the floor of the study, Orion blundered up the stairs too.

Regulus couldn't sleep. Today, he'd seen what his parents were actually capable of, and there was no telling to what extent they'd go to achieve their means.  
 _They'll keep on punishing him until he agrees. But… but Sirius will never agree, the honourable idiot!  
_ Then Regulus finally realised why Sirius had been placed in Gryffindor, instead of Slytherin.  
 _Oh Merlin, they'll keep trying different tactics on him, and one day they'll go too far and accidentally kill him. Or worse…_ Regulus wondered if it'll come down to his family using other unforgivable curses to force him to do things he'd never want to do in his waking moments. Then it finally hit him. Sirius had to run away. There was no other option. He got out of bed and checked the time. It was almost 4 am. _Oh! Mother and father will be up soon. Kreacher probably already is!  
_ He crept across the room slowly, wearing only socks as to muffle his footsteps. He opened his door and crept down the stairs careful not to make a single sound. If his father heard even a single creek of a floorboard, it would be disaster. He reached the drawing room, and found Sirius lying on the floor. It looked like he had regained consciousness and changed positions since he last saw him.  
"Sirius! Sirius! Wake up! Now!" he said, shaking Sirius.

Sirius opened his eyes and winced. His rib was bruised and painful. He looked up at Regulus defeatedly.

Regulus steeled himself from all emotion and said, "You need to leave. Go. Away and never come back."

Sirius couldn't couldn't believe what he was hearing. _I have to leave. Run away, and never return?_ "Reg!" said Sirius, but Regulus seemed determined.

"Get up now!" he said through gritted teeth, and pulled his brother up off the floor. Sirius was so weak, he could hardly stand. He swayed on the spot. Regulus caught hold of him and spoke again, stuffing something into Sirius' pockets. "I don't care that you can't stand. Just go away."

"Where should I go? Uncle Alfie's in Russia," said Sirius.

"You still don't get it, do you? You can't go to Uncle Alfie's anyway, that's the first place mother and father are going to look."

Sirius looked miserable. "Where did you go over Christmas?" Regulus asked him.

"James'," Sirius croaked.

Regulus remembered how worried James had been about Sirius on the platform. "Go there. Go to the Potters. Go to James." _He'll take care of you. And be a better brother to you than I ever could be._

"Reg!" Sirius said again, but Regulus had turned his back to him. Sirius couldn't even think straight but he had no choice but to make the decision. He was leaving. "Come with me," he said to Regulus.

"No."

"Mother and father will know, you know something, what will you tell them?" asked Sirius.

"I'll play dumb..." said Regulus. "I'll tell them that I think you must have sneaked out to watch the Falcons' game," Regulus replied. "It's today."

Sirius chuckled to himself. Regulus always had a plan for everything... a solid reason he did anything. He knew Regulus could handle himself, he'd already proven that he was cleverer than he came across. _He'll be fine._  
Sirius slowly made his way down the stairs, stumbling along the dark corridor, and opened the front door. He felt the cool dawn air on his face and it soothed him. He felt bolder. He knew this was the best decision he was ever going to make, and stepped over the threshold and shut the door.

As soon as he heard that front door close, Regulus felt pure relief. He crept back up to his room, closed his door and lay back down on his bed, as if nothing happened.

Outside on the front steps, Sirius panicked a little. He didn't have any money, or his wand on him. "Wait," he said, and checked his pockets, Regulus had put some money in there. _Thanks Reg.  
_ 'Just go, go to the Potters,' he heard his younger brother's voice in his head. But he had no idea where James lived exactly, or how to get there. He racked his brains to remember the name of the village.  
"The Lake district," he mumbled to himself. "Oh Merlin, no! That's where Peter lives."  
"Broke... Brockhurst? Brockenhurst! Yes! Now, how to get there, though?" He took a deep breath, and started walking. He walked steadily for an hour, but then he couldn't take anther step. He sat down heavily on the pavement of some unknown street.  
 _What the actual hell is happening to me?_

"Oh Jesus! Caitlyn, come to the other side with me!" he suddenly heard someone say, and he turned to see two joggers cross the road to avoid him.

"Excuse me," he said, but the woman shrieked and the two of them ran away as fast as they could. _  
_He looked at himself, with crazy hair and the odd clothes, he must have looked like a beggar or a crazy person to the innocent muggles. _Shit, I must have scared those poor women!_  
But after a few minutes, he remembered Regulus' face, and grew stronger. He knew he had to go on, for Regulus' sake. For his sacrifice of sorts. So, he stood up with difficulty and walked some more until he reached a park bench. There was a drinking fountain beside the bench, so he walked over to drink some water. It was so refreshing. He drank for a long time. Then he felt around his face and saw flecks of dried blood on his fingers, from the gash on his cheek. It looked like he had also bled from his nose.  
 _From the Cruciatus..._  
So he washed the blood off his face, and sank onto the park bench and closed his eyes. Some thirty or forty minutes later, he heard the sounds of motorbikes approaching and opened his eyes. Three Harleys stopped in front of him, two men and a woman looked at him and grinned.

"Hey mate," one of them called. He spoke in an Australian accent and had a long beard. Sirius merely looked at them, not expecting that these muggles would be talking to him.  
They glanced at each other. "Looks like he's still high from last night," said the guy to his friends and they sniggered.

"Oy," said the second bloke to Sirius. Then he spoke very clearly. "Do you know the way to Clearview Inn?"

Sirius looked around behind him, there was no one else there. They _were_ talking to him.

"We know it's somewhere around here, but we couldn't spot it," said the girl.

"Sorry, no clue," he replied. He didn't know an inch of muggle London except the few streets near Grimmauld Place.

"He _is_ alive," said the first guy and they laughed.

Sirius stood up, noticing the motorbikes. "Wow, is that the Electra?" he asked excitedly.

"That's right," said the bearded one, and turned to his friends. "The ol' cobber knows his bikes." Sirius grinned at them, even though his brain was a bit sluggish.

"Nice outfit you got there, mate. You coming back from a rave or something?" asked the second guy.

"Don't be an idiot, it was a costume party, wasn't it?" asked the girl, and Sirius looked down at his robes.

"Er... yeah, yeah it was. I went as a gay wizard," he told them and the bikers laughed.

"Dig the robe, where d'ya get it?" asked the girl.

Sirius grinned at the girl. "You can have it if you want," he said, looking down at his robe. If he set aside what it represented for him, it was actually a beautiful robe. It was a dark green velvet, embroidered with silver thread.

"You're joking!" said the girl, getting off her bike and walking up to him. The others followed her.

Sirius shook his head and handed her the robe. "Far out!" said one of the guys and Sirius had no idea what that meant.

"Whoa! are you okay, mate?" they asked, just then noticing his bruised jaw and bloody shirt.

"It's just make-up obviously," said the girl. "The costume party..." and Sirius nodded. She put the robe on and twirled around, she looked good in it. She brushed the delicate embroidery with her fingers. "This looks like it's made from real silver."

"It is," said Sirius.

"Wow!"

"One condition though, you'll have to give me your jacket," said Sirius. He couldn't walk around with blood-stained clothes.

"Ah, what the hell, it's an old one anyway," said the girl. She took her leather jacket off and gave it to him. "I have a spare," she told him.

Sirius grinned and put it on. "Wow! You look hot in it," said the girl, grinning at him, and Sirius chuckled. _A leather jacket. So intensely muggle!_

"It's nearly six, we should go, otherwise we'll lose our reservations," said the bearded one, glancing at his watch.

"See you mate, thanks for the robe," said the girl, and they walked back to their motorbikes. The girl carefully folded the robe and put it in her backpack.

As he watched the bikers ride away, he thought that this must be fate. These things normally never happened. Why would someone exchange their jacket with a stranger? He decided to take this as a sign. Professor Zhao was always talking about the universe giving people signs to guide them, and this was probably one of them. He hugged himself. This jacket was going to be a symbol of his freedom. His principles. A symbol of his rebellion against the Dark side.  
 _Not to mention, I won't get arrested for breaking the Statute of Secrecy, walking around in those idiotic robes._


	58. Owls on a Mission

Sirius looked around and spotted a signboard telling him there was a muggle train station nearby. He walked over to it, enquired about how to get to Brockenhurst, and found that there was a direct train to it. He checked his money and was relieved that he could afford it. He bought a ticket and sat down in the train. It wasn't full, and most people on the train were office workers in crisp suits and dresses - all muggles, but he was so afraid of getting caught, that he didn't dare close his eyes even for a second. It felt so weird and surreal.  
 _I'm in a muggle train._  
After around two hours, the train finally stopped at Brockenhurst station. Sirius stood in the bright sunlit main street and looked around, and spotted a Owl Post office. _Thank Merlin!  
_ He entered the post office, it was open, but there was no one there yet, except for a young woman who was cleaning owl droppings.

"If it's a local delivery, use one of the small ones," the girl informed him.

Sirius wrote his note and tied it to the leg of one tiny owl named Dimes, and sent him off. "Do you mind if I wait here for a bit?" he asked the young woman.

"No, be my guest," she said, sparing him a glance.

As he collapsed on one of the guest chairs, he wondered how he'd made it this far. _Adrenaline._ He fought the sleep, which threatened to overpower him like a spell. He would not sleep. Not at least until he saw James' face… _James... where are you... where are…_

Dimes, the little owl, flew over the gate of the Potter estate and looked for a human to deliver the letter, but suddenly, his path was blocked by a humongous owl. "Halt! Who are you?" he asked in deep voice.

"Oh hello, I'm Dimes, from the post office. I'm supposed to deliver this note to one James Potter," Dimes nervously told the big owl.

"I am Khonsu, the Potters are my humans. James is not home, no one is. They have gone to the stadium," Khonsu told him.

"The stadium? In Woodgreen?" Dimes asked him.

"That's right," said Khonsu. "It's too far for someone your size. You can wait here if you like."

"Oh no, this note is urgent, I must deliver it quickly," said Dimes.

"Alright, you'd better get going then," the owl advised him. "Cut across the forest."

"Thank you." Dimes began his journey to the stadium in Woodgreen. _Khonsu_ _must be a fish owl, largest species of owl, that was why he was so big._  
It took Dimes hours to reach the stadium, but he finally made it.

Nick Farley, Chaser of the Chudley Cannons, had just made a goal, and the whole crowd was cheering wildly. James and Compton stood up and cheered too. "That was such a brilliant shot!" said James, and Compton nodded. Fleamont Potter looked at his son and chuckled at his enthusiasm. Suddenly, the tiny owl dropped into his lap. It looked like it had fainted out of exhaustion.  
 _Oh no, the poor owl._  
Monty opened the letter, read it, and tapped James on the shoulder.

James turned an looked at his father's grave face and the sleeping owl in his hands. "What's wrong?" Monty handed him the note.

 _Prongs,_  
 _You said I could come to your house, so here I am, in Brockenhurst. Please come and get me, I am at the post office._  
 _-Padfoot._

James looked up at his father. "Dad, we have to go now."

Monty nodded. You couldn't disapperate directly in or out of the stadium, so they quickly made their way out of stands. James could hear Compton call after them, but there was no time to explain. They reached the entrance and disapperated together with the owl. They hurried up the stairs of the Post office and looked around. There, lying on some visitors' chairs, was Sirius. James walked slowly towards him and gasped. He looked as pale as a sheet and he had a large bruise along his left jaw.

"Dad…" whispered James.

"He does not look good, James," said Monty, depositing the sleepy owl at the counter. "We should get him home now."

"Are you his friend?" the girl feeding the owls asked.

"Yeah, he just wrote to me," said James.

"Took you long enough," she said.

"Do you know how... how he got hurt like this?" James asked her.

The girl shrugged. "What do I know? He arrived like this," she said, walking up to Sirius and looking down at him.

"Look, I noticed these when he was posting your letter," she said, pushing his sleeve up to reveal some gashes.

James gasped and took Sirius' hand. "Oh Merlin!"

"You should get him checked by a healer," she told them and went back to feeding the owls.

"He doesn't look to be in a state to apparate," said Monty. "But I guess we don't have any other options."

"Yeah," said James, imagining magicking Sirius onto a stretcher and floating him across muggle Brockenhurst.

"Hold my left hand, and his shoulder with your other hand," said Monty, and they apparated back to the Potter estate. A healer was summoned, and he set to work, patching Sirius up.

Sirius felt a weird sensation on his arms and opened his eyes. A strange, fat man was prodding his arm with a wand. _Who's this?  
_ He looked down, he had no pants on, just his boxers. _What the actual fuck?! What's this bloke trying to do?!  
_ He quickly snatched the man's wand and pushed him onto the floor. "Who are you?!" he demanded, putting his foot across the man's neck.

"I'm- I'm a healer, healer!" the man choked out.

 _Why's there a healer to look at me? What happened?_ Sirius looked around and his head span. He didn't recognise the room _at all_. "Am I in a hospital?" he asked, releasing the man's neck from under his foot.

"No, but HEEEEEELP! HEEELP MEEEEE! HELP ME PLEASE!" the man wailed loudly and Sirius heard footsteps approaching and directed the man's wand at the door.

James came in at a run. "Sirius!" he said, putting his hands up and approaching him slowly.

Sirius stared at James. "James?"What…"

"Sirius, it's okay," said James, and the healer watched them in fear as Sirius allowed James to lower his hand and take the wand from him.

"But, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked.

"What? Sirius, this is my house... you're in my house," said James uncertainly, handing the wand back to the healer. They watched as the healer quickly grabbed his stuff and ran out of there.

"Your house? I don't get it," said Sirius, looking around in a frantic manner.

"Oh yeah, you probably don't recognise this room. It used to be the guest bedroom for old people like my great aunt Millicent, who can't climb stairs. The one on the ground floor, you've probably never been in here."

But Sirius was still confused. "Guest- James, what am I doing here? I don't-" He said, scratching his head. _What happened?_

"Don't you remember? You were at the post office, and you wrote to me to come and pick you up."

Sirius looked back at him with a blank expression.

"Sirius, don't you remember anything?" asked James, now getting a bit concerned.

Sirius now looked afraid. "What happened? Why was I at a post office?" Then he put his hand on his aching ribs.

James was looking at him like he'd gone mad.

"Are you taking the mickey, James? This is not a prank is it, because, honestly, it not funny!"

"Stay here, Sirius, I'll be right back," said James, and he ran to the parlour, where the healer was flooing out of there. "Mum! Dad!"

"Jamsie, I'm home, I just heard what happened! why is Hr Roberts so afraid? What happened?" asked Mia, walking over towards him with a goblet full of some liquid.

"Sirius woke up and attacked the healer! He doesn't remember anything! He doesn't even remember how he ended up at the post office!"

"What!" said Monty and the three of them hurried back to the guest room. Sirius was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head.

"James!" he exclaimed, standing up. "James, why can't I remember anything?!"

The Potters looked back at him, not knowing what to say.

"There's something wrong with me! I've gone mad, haven't I? I've finally gone Black-insane!" he said.

"Sirius, no, you haven't!" said James.

"Sirius, calm down," said Monty.

"No, Mr. Potter, you don't get it!" said Sirius, he was getting completely worked up. He looked around the room crazily. "Wait," he said, clutching his forehead. Then he looked up at the Potters. "This isn't a dream, right? I'm- I'm- I'm actually awake?"

"You're awake, dear," said Mia firmly. "Here, just drink this potion, and you'll know," Mia said gently, offering him the goblet.

"What is this potion? Why?" he asked her, his eyes round and fearful. He looked in the goblet. "This is that sleeping potion, I won't drink it."

"It's just to calm you down, honey. Just drink it," said Mia, tipping the goblet into his mouth. Sirius drank the potion and suddenly felt really sleepy. He dropped off right there. Monty and James pulled him up and laid him on the pillow.

"Dad, what's going on? Why can't he remember anything? He's hurt so bad, and now he can't remember how it happened-"

"James. Obviously, something really awful happened, maybe he got attacked by someone while he was coming here," said Monty.

"I think his brain just blocked out the trauma for now, it'll come back to him, I'm sure," said Mia. "James, why don't you stay with Sirius while we call another healer, alright?"

James nodded and watched his parents walk out of the room.

"Mia, you don't think…"

"I do think. Dorea told me stories like this, I'm almost sure his family had something to do with this."

"His family?!" asked James. He had followed them out to ask them something.

"Oh James! No, listen, I'm not a hundred percent sure," said Mia.

"No, you just said Aunt Dorea told you, you just said you're almost sure!" James said. He felt nauseated at the very thought that his family - his parents or Regulus, had anything to do with this.

"James, we won't know anything yet. I think you should go back to the room. If Sirius wakes up again and finds himself alone, he might…" said Monty.

"Might actually go crazy?" James finished for him.

After two hours or so, Mia came to the guest room, carrying a tray of sandwiches and orange juice. Monty followed her with some fruit. James smiled at his parents.

"Dad, do you mind..."

"What is it, son?" asked Monty, putting the fruit down on the bedside table.

"Do you mind writing to Mr. Lupin and ask him to send Remus over?" said James. "I think Sirius will feel better if he has more friends around when he wakes up."

Monty nodded and smiled. "Remus would definitely know how to calm him down," he said, and James nodded.

Monty and Mia nodded and left.

It was nearly nightfall by the time Khonsu reached the Howells' home, even though he flew as fast as he could. He tapped at the bedroom window and tapped on it with it's beak. Lyall opened the window and let the owl in. "Hello Khonsu."  
He tore open the letter and read it. He knew Monty wouldn't request Remus to come over so urgently if it wasn't serious. So he went downstairs. "Remus, pack your things."

"What?" asked Remus, he was playing chess with Catherine.

"I've just received an urgent letter from Monty, you're needed at the Potter estate," he said.

"I knew it, I just knew something was wrong," said Remus, standing up.

"Yeah, you did, didn't you?" said Hope, walking over. " Remarkable. What does Monty say?" she asked Lyall.

"He didn't say anything, but that's probably not to worry us," said Lyall.

"I'm already worried, I've been worried since three days... I should go, but how will I get there?" asked Remus, following his father up the stairs. Brynn and Hope grinned at each other. Her boys were finally talking to each other.

"Have you ever heard of the Knight Bus?"

"The Knight Bus?"

James walked back into Sirius' room and sat down on the bed again. He couldn't believe Sirius had been through something like this. He felt a great sorrow he had never known. Like he understood how parents felt when their child was injured or sick. He reached out and touched his shoulder gently.

Sirius suddenly winced away from the touch and said, "Don't touch me!"

"Sirius, mate, it's me James." But then Sirius was crying. James could hear him sniffling, a trembling ball under the duvet. It seemed like it was impossible for him to stop. He sat on his mattress and waited. Many hours had passed since Khonsu had gone with the letter. _What can I do to help him? What?  
_ Then the doorbell rang, and James ran to the door and opened it. Remus stood there with an overnight bag, and Khonsu on his shoulder. Both Remus' hair and Khonsu's feathers looked equally ruffled.

"Oh my god, Khonsu, are you alright?" James asked, taking the owl off Remus' shoulder. The owl hooted and flew off toward his cage in the back hall.

"Yeah I'm fine _too_ , James, thanks for asking!" said Remus.

"Moony!" said James, and hugged him. "Are you really okay?"

"Yes, just some jangled nerves. We came here on this thing called the Knight Bus, the driver is insane," said Remus. "But what happened? Dad told me that you needed me here? What's going on?"

James told him everything that had occurred that day. And as they walked back to Sirius' room, James felt relieved, because along with Remus came his calm but sure sense of responsibility. But when they entered the room, Sirius wasn't on the bed.

"Oh Godric, he was right here, on the bed!" said James, looking worried. "Where did he run off to?"

But Remus could smell Sirius' dog version still in the room. "Padfoot, come out," he called, and slowly and shaking, a large black dog stuck its head out from behind the bed's large headboard and whimpered. It looked like he had gotten scared and hidden there.

"Pads, look, Moony's here," said James.

"Sirius," said Remus, cautiously walking up to him. Sirius transformed back to human, and slowly got to his feet. But swayed on the spot, and Remus ran up to him and caught him. "Sirius, what happened to you?" he asked him worriedly.

"And stop transforming, you're already weak," said James.

"She tortured me!" Sirius sobbed. "She… she used the _Cruciatus_ curse on me!"

James stared at Remus horror-struck. They both knew that 'she' meant his mother. _How could a person use any Unforgivable curse on their own son?!  
_ But what he saw in Remus' face unnerved him even more. He had never seen Remus this angry before, yellow was spreading in his eyes from his irises. It looked like he might transform right here! He had watched Remus transform many times, had even played with the werewolf. But this was something different. He was so mad, James could literally feel his rage, and he finally understood why everybody said werewolves were dangerous.

But before anything else could happen, Sirius gave a gasp, and lost consciousness again. "He's fainted!" said Remus, struggling to hold him up and lowered him onto the bed slowly. He looked up and James saw that his face was back to normal.

"I want to kill them, I really do." said Remus. "A second ago, I was wondering why I couldn't transform at will and kill them right now!"

"Yeah, mate!" said James, "A second ago, I saw all of that on your face..."

"Ugh, I'm sorry," said Remus, and shook his head to clear it.

A couple of minutes later, Mia and Monty walked in with another healer, this time an old woman. "Ah, Remus, you're here, that's good. Boys, this is Agatha Selwyn. She's an old friend, and more sensible than poor Hr Roberts," said Monty.

Agatha the healer, got to work straight away. She pushed the sleeves of his shirt back and looked at the three large gashes on his forearms. They were still bleeding."Could you boys take his shirt off?" she asked.

James unbuttoned Sirius' silk shirt and Remus gasped. There were no more open cuts on his torso, but there was a terribly black bruise on his rib cage.

"Oh, the poor dear," said Agatha casually, as if he'd been bitten by a bee or something. She took out the Essence of Dittany and healed his arms in a flash. But then they promptly split apart again and started bleeding freshly.  
"What... Dittany heals…" she said, and then her eyes widened. She turned to the Potters. "Someone's used Dark magic on this boy!" She stood up in a huff. "Euphemia, either tell me what's happened here, or I'm leaving!"

The Potters shared a glance. "We really don't know what happened, Aggy!" said Mia. "The boy came to us like this."

"It was his parents," said James and the three adults stared at him.

"He told you this?" asked Monty and James nodded.

"Are you sure it was his parents? Because, if it is, we need to make a formal complaint with the Ministry, this is child abuse!" said Agatha indignantly.

"No!" exclaimed James as he stood up. Agatha's eyebrows drew closer together. "Er, at least not without asking him first."

It's the Black family, Agatha," said Mia, in a low voice, and Agatha understood. She looked down at Sirius's unconscious form with narrowed eyes.

"I don't think I can do this," she declared and everyone gaped at her.

"How can you say that?!" asked James angrily, and she glanced at him.

"The atrocities committed by one Arcturus Black resulted in the death of my sister!" she said loudly. "They told me it was a suicide, but I know better! It was cold-blooded murder!" Then she started packing her bag.

"But Sirius isn't like that," said James. "We swear!" He didn't want her to leave. Agatha was one of the top healers in the wizarding world, and she probably knew the countercurses to whatever they'd done to Sirius' arms. If she left, who were they to call? Dumbledore?

Remus nodded. "He's a good person," he said, looking down at Sirius.

"Which is probably why they did this to him, Aggy," said Monty and Agatha looked down at Sirius too.

"Please, you took an oath," said Remus, and she sighed and sat down again.

"Right. Dark magic," she said, taking one of Sirius' arms and prodding the gashes, muttering various countercurses. Remus winced at the way she was poking the wounds. If Sirius had been awake, it would've hurt badly. After ten minutes or so, she finally succeeded in closing the wounds. Remus and James exchanged relieved glances.  
She applied Dittany on his lips and on the cut on his face. They all healed instantly. Then she took out a yellow balm from inside her bag and applied in liberally on the bruises on his jaw and ribs.  
"I suspect these two ribs are broken, Monty," she said. "If he's still hurting after he wakes up, give him Skele-gro."

"Alright," replied Monty.

Then she checked the rest of his body for any other injuries, gently feeling along his legs and torso. She folded Sirius' leg up at the knee and checked the back of his thighs. There were a number of fine scars crisscrossing the area. "Whip scars, Mia." Remus and James exchanged horrified glances.

"Oh Merlin! How old?" asked Mia.

"Years, at least seven or eight," she said, shaking her head and packing her bag.

"He said they used the _Cruciatus_ curse on him," said Remus quietly and the adults stared at him. Agatha opened her mouth to say something, but then she closed it again.

"Right, I'll give you some potions," she said to Mia and Monty in a business-like voice, as they walked her out and shut the door. James gestured to Remus and they put their ears to the door.

"What year is he in?"

"They start their sixth year in September," Monty replied.

"Hmm, two more years to go. And how important is the boy to the family?"

Monty hesitated before replying, "He's the heir, Aggy."

Agatha's eyes widened again. "They will come for him, Mia! It can get really ugly-"

"Not unless they disown him first," Mia replied.

"I've never heard of an heir being disowned, before, Mia."

"It's alright, I'm pretty sure they won't do anything drastic. But if it comes to that, I already have a plan," replied Mia, and Agatha nodded.

"Right. And, does he have a girlfriend?" she asked, and the Potters exchanged glances, and inside the room, the two Marauders exchanged glances.

"Er, we are not sure," said Mia.

"Oh, I was just asking because he would probably like it if she were with him… unless she's one of those Slytherin princesses who will leave him the moment she finds out he's run away from home-"

"Oh I don't think so," said Mia.

Agatha nodded. Then she lowered her voice further and James couldn't make out what they were talking about, but Remus clapped his hands over his mouth and looked at James, eyes wide. Then they heard footsteps walk away from the door. Remus walked over to the bed, knelt and put his head on Sirius' knee, trying not to break down and weep.

"Moony?" said James, afraid to ask.

"Agatha says, Sirius has been systematically abused since he was a toddler... She said to take care of him, that he will need all the support he can get if he is to go back and finish school like a sane person."

James felt like someone had squeezed his heart in their fists. "How did we not know?" he whispered.

"He never told us anything. But I think we did know. We just didn't want to believe it could be as bad as it seemed," said Remus.

James shook his head. "Remus, I promise you, Sirius will never go back to those people again," he decided.

Remus looked up at James and nodded. "Where did he get that leather jacket though?" he asked and James smiled.


	59. Hamburgers

When Mia and Monty came back to the room, all three boys were fast asleep on the bed.

"They look adorable, don't they?" whispered Mia, and Monty nodded.

Most of Sirius' wounds were healed, but his rib still looked quite painful. He needed to drink Skele-Gro as soon as possible, but they didn't have they heart to wake him up. So they turned the light out and closed the door, silently wishing them wonderful dreams.  
The next morning, James was the first one to wake. He opened his eyes and saw Sirius next to him, still sleeping. _At least he looks peaceful now.  
_ His cuts had healed completely. But the bruise on the rib looked worse. It now had a yellowish tinge to it. James got up, walked to the dining room and found his parents sitting at the table, drinking their coffees.

"Morning honey!" said his mother brightly, "Want some tea? I think the water in the kettle is still warm."

"Good morning mum. Morning dad!" said James, and smiled at them. He loved being their son, and today he felt especially thankful that he was their son. He went to make himself some tea, and then sat down next to his mum at the table.

"Are the others awake yet?" asked Monty.

"Not yet. Sirius' wounds look healed, except his ribs." said James quietly.

"Yes, we wanted to give him the Skele-Gro last night, but we didn't know how he would react if we woke him up!" said Monty.

"What about his emotional wounds though?" said James glumly, and he looked up. His parents were looking at him closely. "Will he ever be normal again?!" he continued. "Yesterday, he wouldn't let me touch him even... was trembling like a leaf the whole time. And when Moony showed up, we came inside to find Sirius literally hiding behind the bed!" James said frustratedly.

Mia put her hand on her son's arm. "He probably thought his parents came looking for him." said Monty gravely.

"As soon as he saw Moony, he started crying... and- and he could barely stand, Moony had to hold him up!" said James sadly, with tears in his eyes.

"Yeah, didn't I say yesterday morning that he looked tortured?!" said Mia in a low voice. "He looked so weak!" Monty nodded at her.

Then Mia took both of James's hands in her own and said to him, "Time, honey. Time will heal them. And so will the company of good friends and loved ones." She told him, nodding her head as she said it. James nodded back slowly. The he wiped his eyes on his sleeve and the three of them sat there, lost in thought.

Suddenly, Remus entered the kitchen, looking worried. "He says his ribs hurt a lot!" he announced.

Monty jumped up at once. "We should have given him the Skele-gro last night, I knew it!" he said and reached for the bottle in the shelf behind him. They all went to the guest room and saw that Sirius was awake, and he had his hand on his ribs. He looked like he was in a considerable amount of pain.

"Here son, drink this," said Monty, handing him a small glass of clear liquid.

Sirius sat up gingerly and drank it and made a face. "Urgh!" he said, handing the glass back to him. "Thanks, Mr. Potter. Mrs Potter."

Euphemia smiled, and sat down beside him. "You're welcome honey! And I'm glad you thought of us when you did. Now, lie down," she told him and he obeyed. She then brushed his hair from his face, and bent down and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

Sirius gazed at her, almost transfixed. Then he suddenly winced and put his hand on his rib, "Ah!"

"It's going to be painful for a while, son. It's best if you close your eyes and try to sleep," said Monty. "But remember, this is healing pain." he added.

Sirius nodded at him and closed his eyes. Then he suddenly opened them again. "I actually need to use the loo!" he said and hurried to the toilet. Everyone chuckled. When he came back and lay down on the bed again, they all left the room and shut the door.

Around seven in the evening, James and Remus were sitting on the couch in the parlour, trying to listen to what the Potters were discussing. "He may need therapy... although James says he will never go for it! Sirius is proud like that!" said Monty, smiling a little.

"Oh that'll be the Black in him!" said Mia in a mock angry voice. "They all arrogant pricks. Remember how Dorea was? But let's never say that in front of him!" she said looking at Monty fearfully.

"No of course not!" said Monty, shaking his head.

Someone knocked on the door of the parlour and they all turned. Sirius entered, wearing his leather jacket over one of James' t-shirts and his own his dress trousers. But he still looked a bit weak.

"Sirius, why are you dressed?" asked James, standing up.

"I er-"

"You're not going anywhere, son, you're still recovering," said Monty.

"I feel fine now."

"But where will you go?" asked James. "You should just stay here with us!"

"I don't want to impose…" Sirius muttered.

"Nonsense. We love having you here, isn't that right, James?" said Monty, turning around and looking at James.

James nodded. "Please?" he said.

Sirius looked at him, James didn't say 'please' often He slowly nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"Well, it's settled then!" said Mia, and went over to hug Sirius. He hugged her back happily.

"Would you like something to eat, honey?" she asked him. "You haven't had any lunch today."

"I'm actually starving, so that's definitely a yes!" he said grinning broadly. Everyone laughed, and walked down to the kitchen and sat down at a small wooden table. Jani happily placed a plate of spaghetti in front of him, and Sirius ate it quickly. At one point, he looked up and saw them all watching him. "Eu don have teh waff me eat!" he said with his mouth full.

Everyone laughed. He looked like a small child. Mia and Monty left them and went upstairs to their room. James and Remus talked about the most mundane things. Sirius didn't have the mental capacity to listen to them talk, but he didn't want to stop them, he knew they were doing it to make him feel better.

"Oh! And there's are a few beaches we can floo to, nearby!" said James. "Let's go there next week!"

"Yeah, okay!" said Sirius, his mouth still full of pasta.

Remus suddenly stood up and said, "I need to send a letter, sorry I'll be back!"

"Khonsu's cage is in the back hall," said James.

"Okay!" said Remus and ran out of the kitchen.

"So how long is he here for, do you think?" asked Sirius, staring after Remus.

"I don't know. I told dad to ask him to come when you showed up. Thought you might like another friend here with you," said James, smiling.

Sirius looked down at his empty plate and frowned. He had been thinking about this ever since he saw Remus yesterday morning. Despite feeling incredibly comforted when Remus had hugged him, he had also been terrified.

He looked up to find James looking at him closely. "What is it?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius didn't know what to say. He knew everyone would think he was being idiotic, but his mother's words resounded in his head.  
" _Tell me who made you homosexual?"  
_ _"Who was the boy?!"  
_ _"Tell me!"_

When Remus returned, Sirius tried to ignore his fear. They chatted about what Peter was doing right this moment in Transylvania.  
"Do you think he'll come back a vampire?" said Sirius and they all laughed. It all felt light and easy to James. But it wasn't at all for Sirius. He kept looking at Remus worriedly.

James noticed it. He wondered if they weren't being able to talk about whatever it was because he was there. So he got to his feet. "I'm going for a shower. Be back soon." The others nodded and he went upstairs. But when he went back down to the parlour, he found Remus sitting alone on the couch, looking a little sad. "Where's Sirius?" he asked him.

"He went back to his room." said Remus. "Said he needed a nap." He tried to sound casual.

"What's wrong, Moony?" asked James.

"I don't know. It's probably nothing!" he said and smiled.

"Just tell me."

Remus took a deep breath and said, "Well, he seemed a bit distant. But like I said, it's probably nothing."

"Yeah, he probably just feels muddled, that's all," said James reassuringly.

"Yeah, you're right!" said Remus, cheering up. "I think I'll go take a shower too!" he said. They walked to the guest room, Remus hesitated and opened the door.

"I said I want to be alone," Sirius told them.

"I'm only here for my bag," said Remus patiently and picked up his bag.

"You can shower in my room, we haven't made up the other rooms yet," James told Remus as he shut the door. Remus nodded and walked up the stairs.

Evening found all five of them in the dining room, eating hamburgers for dinner. The conversation was pleasant. "These hamburgers are really delicious!" said Remus.

"Right! They actually from a place 'round the corner! I've loved their burgers since I was a kid!" said James.

"Funny. I'd have thought, you'd have said, this was a bit _overcooked_ for your taste," said Sirius, in a sarcastic tone. James and Remus gaped at him. They knew exactly what he was getting at. Remus, because of his affliction, often complained that the meat was overcooked. Mia and Monty pretended they didn't notice anything. They poured themselves a glass of wine each and rejoined the table.

'What is wrong with you?' James mouthed at Sirius, but Sirius just looked angry.

"You know, I wish you would just go home! I don't know why you're even here!" Sirius burst out angrily. He was glaring at Remus. Remus looked scared.

"What happened?" asked Monty. "Why don't you want him here?" But Sirius didn't answer.

Both his parents looked at James inquiringly, but James shrugged and shook his head. He had no clue what was going on. He turned to look at Remus, who looked like he had expected this.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked Sirius with a stony expression.

"Go home, Remus!" said Sirius loudly and stood up.

"Honey tell us what's wrong!" said Mia softly.

"I can't!" Sirius replied. He knew they won't get it even if he told them. "I just want him to leave!"

Remus stood up too, towering over all of them. "Why?" he asked in a low but dangerous voice.

"Because I never want to see your face again, that's why," answered Sirius, looking directly at Remus. "And if you still want to shamelessly stick around after I've said _that_ , then be my guest!"

Monty and Mia looked puzzled. James frowned. _Not another fight._

"Fine." said Remus, and started walking out of the room.

Everyone stood up. "Stop. Just stop, Remus," said Monty, "No one's going anywhere."

"And you," he said turning to Sirius, "You're going to tell us exactly what's going on right now."

Sirius swallowed and shook his head. "Please don't make me..." he mumbled.

"Alright, it's okay. You don't have to tell us that. Sit down everyone," he said looking around. They all took their seats. All except Remus, who was standing near the door.

"Sirius, I didn't want to discuss this right now, with all of it being so fresh in your mind," Monty said, and Sirius turned to look at Monty, not knowing where this was going.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I am talking about why your mother and father decided to… decided to do this to you," said Monty, looking straight into Sirius' eyes.

Sirius straightened, and looked at the ceiling and then looked down at the empty coffee cup in front of him.

"Punishment, they call it," he said after a while. No one spoke. They couldn't take their eyes off Sirius. "They _punish_ me when I don't follow rules."

"And can I know what their excuse was, this time?" asked Monty.

But Sirius didn't answer. He couldn't speak even if he wanted to. He throat seemed closed. His eyes welled up again and he blinked.

"Dad, he'll tell us if he wants to," said James.

Monty smiled and put his arm around Sirius, and said kindly, "It's okay son, you don't have to answer that question. But just tell me this. It's a yes or a no. Are you and uh, Remus together?"

Sirius looked up at Monty, shocked. Then he looked at Remus, who looked more scared than ever.

"I... I didn't!" Remus stammered.

"Sirius dear, no one told us anything. We just figured it out. But It's all good," said Mia kindly.

"And that's why they punished you, isn't it?" asked Monty.

Sirius sat silently for a few moments before giving a tremulous nod. "Also because I told them I didn't want to marry _Aurinda_ …" he said with disgust.

James and Remus exchanged glances. "Who the hell is Aurinda?!" asked James.

"Aurinda Crabbe," Sirius explained disinterestedly. "Younger sister to our very own Arledge Crabbe. She goes to Beauxbatons, a school in France. So she was the only girl who had no problem with me being in Gryffindor."

"What about with you being gay?" asked James, getting angrier with every word Sirius spoke.

"All they need is a direct descendant to continue the bloodline," Sirius said drily.

"They knew you were gay and still wanted you to marry that hag?" asked James loudly. Mia glared at James for using the word 'hag'.

"And now you are afraid they might try and hurt Remus. That's why you wanted him to leave, isn't it?" said Monty. Sirius looked up at Monty but didn't say anything.

James smiled. _He was just trying to protect him.  
_ He turned to look at Remus, but Remus had his back to them. His head was bowed, and his hand was leaning on the wall for support. _What's wrong with him?  
_ But no one else seemed to notice. Mia was hugging Sirius again and Monty was smiling at them.

"Let me tell you this, boys. You have no reason to be afraid of anything, alright? I'm going to be honest here Sirius, and just say that your parents... as long as you were with them, they could force you to do things their way, and punish you if you didn't follow their rules," explained Monty, and Sirius nodded miserably at him. "Now that you've left, whether they like it or not, they can't really do anything to you, for the fear of retribution. I mean, what if you told someone?"

"But don't they have reaches in high places, dad? I mean, they could get any charges dropped if they wanted to, right?" asked James.

"No. If there's anything the Black family hate, it's scandals," Mia said.

"Excuse me? Being a family of elitist purebloods is already pretty scandalous," said James, annoyed.

Sirius scoffed. "We're talking about headlines in the _Prophet_ like, ' _Black heir disinherited over alleged homosexual relations with half-blood half-breed Re-_ "

"Really, Sirius!" chided Mia. She hated name-calling.

"They know I'm a _werewolf_?!" asked Remus, eyes wide with shock and fear.

"No!" Sirius told him quickly, gesturing with his hands. "No one knows!" Then he shrugged. "If they did, I'd be dead before you, Moony," he said, half-smiling bitterly.

"I'm sorry, so it's okay for them to be neck deep in Dark _arts_ , but if it's a 'dark _creature_ ,' then all of a sudden it's a _scandal_?" asked James, making apostrophe marks with his hands.

"That's enough name-calling. No one's going to find out, and no one's dying!" said Mia forcefully, glaring at all of them.

Monty nodded at Mia and cleared his throat. "Right... I think it's time for bed. It is getting quite late," said Monty. Everyone stood up, and they were deciding where they boys would sleep.

"I know the three of you slept in the guest room yesterday, but there's a big bed in James' room as well, one of you could sleep there you know," said Mia laughing.

"Yes, I think I will," said Remus.

"Okay then, you know where it is," she said and smiled.

Remus smiled at her, and said, "Thank you Mrs. Potter. And Mr. Potter. Goodnight!" and walked out of the dining room.

"Goodnight!" they both called after him.

"Well that's all settled then. Now boys, go to bed. Try and postpone any discussions until morning, alright?" said Monty smiling.

James and Sirius laughed. "Yes Sir!" they both said together.

"Actually, I think it is best if James sleeps in his own room tonight. If we leave them with each other, they are bound to stay up late talking!" said Mia to Monty, and he nodded.

"I agree. Up you get James, go on," he said.

"But-" began Sirius, wondering if Remus was mad at him for trying to kick him out, but Mia cut him off.

"I know what you worried about, but everything will be fine. He just needs time to process. And you need your sleep, which is more important right now," she said.

"You're right!" said Sirius, and he turned and walked back to the guest room.

"Make sure you brush your teeth Sirius, and we've bought you some pyjamas. They're in the wardrobe," said Mia, as she and Monty made their way up the stairs.

"Thank you!" he told her. "Keep an eye on him, won't you?" he told James.

"I will. Go to sleep," James told him, nodding.

"Yeah," said Sirius, getting under the covers. James still stood there looking at him for a few moments, with his hand on the doorknob.

"I'm fine, James," said Sirius.

"Yeah," said James. _Of course he isn't. But hopefully, he will be. Soon_.  
He quickly shut the door and walked back to his bedroom. As he passed his parents' room, he heard their voices. They seemed to be in an intense discussion, but he couldn't make out what they were saying, their voices sounded muffled and garbled. _They've put up a spell on the door.  
_ He grinned to himself as he opened his bedroom door. Remus was leaning on the window sill, looking out at the orchard below, and James knew he was thinking hard. "Mum says I should sleep here tonight, so Sirius gets his rest," he told him, and Remus nodded without turning around.  
James brushed his teeth and came back to find Remus in the same position.  
"Did you brush your teeth?" James asked him, and he nodded again. "Well then come and sleep. Shall I turn the lights out?" he asked Remus, and Remus nodded and lay down on the bed, next to James. He looked really burdened. But James felt that asking him about it would upset him more, so he just turned the lights out and closed his eyes.

James woke up twice that night. First in the middle of the night, to find Remus sitting up in bed. He put his hand on Remus' back. "Moony," he said. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

Remus turned around and said, "I just can't sleep. My head is a mess."

"Well," said James, "What are you thinking about right now? Just say it out loud."

"Sirius," he replied simply, lying down again.

"You're not mad at him, are you?" asked James, and Remus shook his head.

"No," he said. "How could I be mad at him? I…." and fell silent. "Let's just go to sleep James," he said after a few minutes and turned his face away from James.

James closed his eyes and fell asleep immediately. But he woke again at around four am. The lights were on and Remus was at James' desk, bent low. He seemed to be writing, James heard the scratching of a quill. But he didn't ask. He just lay on his bed wondering if Sirius was awake yet.  
 _They need to talk, Sirius and Remus. That would definitely help. And why the hell is Remus being so secretive? He can be so annoying sometimes!  
_ Then slowly he drifted off to sleep again.

Finally, at around seven in the morning, he heard his parents wake up and go downstairs. He opened his eyes and saw Remus fully dressed, sitting on the chair at the end of his bed, facing him. He looked worried.  
James sat up. "Why are you dressed this early?" he asked him, but Remus didn't answer.  
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked Remus, and as he said it, he understood. "You're not leaving?!" he said loudly.

Remus didn't answer again. He just looked scared and guilty.

"You better start talking, Remus, or else!" James shouted at him.

Remus stood up and walked to the window and put his hand on his forehead and frowned.

"Moony!"

"Yes! Yes, I _am_ leaving!" Remus shouted.


	60. Juvenile Dragons

"Why?! You're not still mad at him are you? He was trying to protect you!" yelled James.

"Of course I'm not mad at him! I can't be!" Remus yelled back. "Maybe I was when he was telling me to leave, but not now!" he said, his voice returning to normal.

"Then why the hell are you leaving, Remus?!" yelled James, still angry. He just didn't understand it. _What can he have against poor Sirius now?_

"Because I can't be here, James. I just can't, alright!" he said, he looked extremely agitated.

"You can't leave now, he'll will be devastated!" said James. "Don't you care about him?"

Remus looked at him with a pained expression. "Of course I care…" he said. At that moment, they heard someone running up the stairs.

Sirius burst into the room. "What in the name of Merlin are you two doing?! We can hear you from downstairs," he said, and then he noticed Remus' clothes, his eyebrows creased slightly. "Why are you dressed?" he asked.

Then was a sharp tap on the window, and they all jumped. Khonsu was waiting outside with a letter. Remus immediately opened the window, snatched the letter and ripped it open to read. James and Sirius stared at him. _Who the hell is this letter from now?_ They waited for him to look up from it, but Remus just kept staring at it.

"Who's that letter from? Who do you keep writing to?" James demanded loudly.

Remus finally looked up, took a deep breath and said, "Are you seriously asking me that? Lily, obviously! I keep in touch with her over the holidays, as you know." Then he walked over to the chair and sat down with his face in his hands.

"Give me that letter!" said James, and snatched the letter from Remus' hand. There was only one sentence written in it- _I have just one thing to say to you, Remus- Can you live?  
_ James could neither make head nor tail of it. "Did you tell her what's happened?! You should have asked him first," James said, looking at Sirius.

"I don't care about that!" said Sirius, scratching his head. "You're not- You're not leaving, are you?" he asked Remus, panicking slightly. "Please don't go, I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what came over me yesterday. Don't be mad at me!"

"I'm not leaving," Remus said clearly.

James was confused. "You just said-"

"I know what I said!" said Remus, looking angrily at James. James raised his eyebrows pointedly and Remus sighed. "I mean, I was going to…." he said, looking down at his clothes and took his shoes off.

"What do you mean you were going to?" said Sirius, looking really fearful, just like Remus had looked last night.

Remus looked up at the two of them. They were both staring at him. "It's complicated."

"Then explain," said Sirius.

Remus sighed again. "Fine, but don't interrupt me," he said, and Sirius sat down right there beside the door. Remus took a deep breath. "This past year, you guys remember how I was struggling to come to terms with my feelings?" They nodded at him.  
"Look, Sirius... I loved being your friend, okay? But when I realised I had feelings for you, I tried to dissuade myself, because-"

"Of all the flirting! I get it," said Sirius miserably.

"No," said Remus, chuckling slightly. "Sirius, listen. It was partly because I was just insecure, maybe because of my circumstances... You know, sometimes in life, it's better to not try at all."

"What!" said James. "You really are a loon. You'll never know until you try. What if you win?"

"Of course you won't get it, Prongs. You don't think like that," said Sirius. "What he's saying, is that if you don't try, you know for sure you're gonna lose." James looked at him incredulously. "In that way, at least you'll have _some_ control over the situation."

James shook his head. "That's not the point," he said. "The whole point of living is not about whether or not you have control over a situation, it's about trying to get what you want. And be happy."

"You're right," said Sirius, and James saw him and Remus exchange looks.

"You think I'm an idealist," said James.

"No," said Remus, "We think you're an optimist. There's a difference."

"Yeah," said Sirius. "It's not a bad thing."

James looked at the their faces again. "Okay. But this wasn't about me..."

Sirius turned to Remus. "Yeah," he said. "You said, partly you were insecure. What's the other part?"

Remus couldn't look at Sirius anymore, he fiddled with the hem of his trousers. _God, I really don't want to bring it up again._

As Sirius saw Remus hesitate, he knew what he was gonna say next. "The Snape incident," he answered for him, and Remus nodded, not meeting his eyes. Sirius closed his eyes and two fat tears leaked out from under his eyelids.

"McGonagall told you about the letter that day, didn't she?" Remus asked. James was surprised, he'd had no idea.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked Remus. "She didn't. She doesn't do that. But she asked me about my summer, if I was okay, you know," Sirius told him. "And I just knew..."

"What she wrote in that letter, Sirius, I can't even imagine in my worst nightmares! I just told McGonagall to stop writing to your mother," said Remus, looking extremely guilty.

"I hated your guts, Moony, I- I was _so_ mad at you-"

"But you never said a word to me, even after we became friends again. Why?" Remus asked him.

"Because what I did was worse... it was not even comparable," said Sirius. "And I get it. I get why you did it. I mean, look at me now," he said, gesturing around the room. "I was... I was…" He didn't seem to be able to say the word 'abuse' out loud.

"You were being abused," James said firmly, and Sirius looked up at him.

"Yeah."

"Sirius, why didn't you let us help you sooner?" asked Remus.

"You did help me. McGonagall didn't write to them again," Sirius said.

Remus hung his head. "Yeah, but I'm sorry, Sirius. I should have asked you-"

"I would never have allowed it. I didn't know what was good for me."

"I can understand how you must've felt that day, I can understand why you did it," Remus said, and Sirius and James looked at him in shock.

"Are you kidding me, Moony?! I- you were trying to help me, and I nearly got three people killed!"

"I'm not condoning what you did, I'm just saying, rationally, I understand. But the wolf... it was afraid," Remus said quietly, fidgeting with a loose thread on his jumper. "I know you swore you'd never do anything like that again, but-"

"The wolf doesn't trust me," said Sirius, putting his fingers to his temple.

"Correction, it _didn't_ trust you at the time. Past tense," said Remus. "Because it made the wolf feel like you were just... I don't know, pushing me away for some masochistic reason. It tried to scare me, I ended up having this terrible nightmare, in which I woke up to find that the wolf had mauled you to death in my sleep-"

"Ohhh, so that was what the nightmare was about!" said James loudly. He was finding out so many things today. Remus and Sirius looked up at him. "Sorry, go ahead," he told Remus in a quiet voice.

"Remus, it isn't the full moon. I trust you, I know you won't maul me to death or whatever," said Sirius.

"And yesterday, when you told me to leave, I thought - 'Of course! I knew something like this would happen'. Maybe I was just waiting for it to happen- That yet again, you'd manage to push me away-"

" _No!_ " said Sirius, his eyes filling with tears again. "I'm sorry I keep doing this! I keep giving you pain... I- I know I don't deserve you, Moony..."

"But I was wrong, wasn't I?" said Remus. "When Mr. Potter was saying how you were only trying to protect me, I felt awful. There I was thinking the worst of you, when you were just being the best!"

"I was being stupid!" said Sirius.

"No you weren't! You were just being you. You're so honest and true, Sirius. And the whole time we had just misunderstood you. It's _me_ who doesn't deserve you, Padfoot. Not the other way around." said Remus sadly. "Which is why I was going to leave."

"Don't do this," Sirius whispered inaudibly, thinking Remus was going to break up with him.

"It's not you, it was the wolf," Remus continued, chuckling humourlessly. "I don't know how I thought I'd get into a relationship without expecting things like this... I'm a _freaking_ werewolf! I'm half animal…"

Sirius' heart hammered anxiously. "Please don't leave me," he begged.

"What?" asked Remus, puzzled. "No, listen-"

"I love you," said Sirius, his eyes pleading.

Remus looked at him for a long moment. "I know."

Sirius thought that meant that Remus didn't love him. Because he didn't say it back even in this critical moment. But Remus had other things to tell him first. "I hate that I'm too often caught up in my own thoughts that I don't even consider what you're going through," said Remus.

"Understandable... when you have two personalities inside of you fighting for dominance," Sirius said, wiping his eyes. "The wolf's just trying to protect you from getting hurt again, I get it."

"No, you don't," said Remus.

"But you don't have to say that. You don't have to protect my feelings," he went on resignedly. "If you want to break up, then just do it. You don't have to be afraid of losing me or the guys. We'll all still be friends, I promise."

James put hand on his forehead. _They can't seriously be breaking up right now! Right after what happened._

Remus looked at Sirius with a slightly incredulous expression. "Is that what you think I-" He got to his feet, walked over to Sirius and knelt in front of him. Sirius couldn't look at him, he started crying.  
"I'm not with you because I'm afraid of _losing the Marauders_... Sirius, will you look at me, please?" said Remus, turning Sirius' face towards him, trying to catch his eye. Sirius closed his eyes.

"If you stop crying, you numpty, I can tell you that for the past four days, the wolf didn't let me eat or sleep, it was driving me nuts, trying to tell me something was wrong," said Remus. "It just knew."

Sirius opened his eyes.

"Yeah," said Remus, nodding. "I wrote to Lily last night and she just-"

"Yeah, I don't get it at all, " said James standing up. He read the letter out loud. " _I have just one thing to say to you, Remus- Can you live?_ What does this even mean? _"_ he asked.

"Lily's asking if I can live without you," said Remus. Sirius couldn't fucking breathe.

Remus shook his head. "And I realised I can't. And neither can the wolf. Because... we love you," he said.

Sirius wiped the tears off his face, and also his nose. "I thought you were leaving me!" he said.

"I am not going anywhere," Remus said, shaking his head. He put his hand on Sirius' knee, and then they were kissing like they'd never kissed before. It felt like it was the first time their lips had ever touched.

James looked puzzled. _What just happened?_ Then he rolled his eyes. "I'll leave you to it then," he said and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Then he chuckled to himself. _Moony didn't have to make it this dramatic! What a convoluted way to tell someone you love them. This is more ridiculous than the 'crying baby' incident. He's nuts. They're both nuts.  
_ Then he realised that he still had Lily's letter in his hand. What a brilliant girl she was. How insightful and wise! She knew Remus so well, more than he knew himself. He stared at her handwriting for a while, then put the letter in his pocket and went downstairs.

"Get up," said Remus, standing up and pulling Sirius to his feet.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked breathlessly, but Remus didn't answer. He then proceeded to unbutton Sirius's pyjama top slowly but deliberately. After all the buttons were undone, he tilted his head to kiss Sirius on the neck. Then the Collarbone. Chest. Lower and lower Remus continued, kissing Sirius' exposed skin. Then he slowly pulled his pants down. Sirius thought he knew what pleasure meant, but he'd been mistaken.

Mia was sitting at the table eating toast, and reading the _Daily Prophet_. "Hi mum," said James, sitting opposite her and pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

"James! Is everything okay?" she asked, putting the paper down.

"Yes, it is, now," he said, grinning.

"But not so much last night, huh?" she said smiling too. "What happened? Why were you shouting at each other, just now?"

"Well, it was mostly just me shouting actually," he explained to her guiltily. "I was mad at Remus, for being mad at Sirius for trying to kick him out. But it doesn't matter now anyway…"

"Why? What do you mean?"

"No, I just meant that I needn't have shouted. Remus wasn't mad at Sirius at all."

"So what was this whole fuss about?"

James didn't know how to answer this question. "Well," he began, "Um… long story short, Remus knew that Sirius loved him, but he'd only just realised that he loved him back... I think," he finished lamely. _It's true, though._

"Oh," said Mia and started laughing. "That is the most beautiful and adorable thing I've ever heard!"

James chuckled too, as Monty entered through the back door. He was wearing gloves and had his gardening shears in one hand. He liked to garden without using magic. He said it was therapeutic. "Hello family! What are we laughing about?" he asked jovially.

"Sirius and Remus have made up after a fight, that's all," said James grinning at him. He shook his head. "They are _always_ fighting."

Monty chuckled. He sat down at the table. "Ah, a fight. So that's what all that shouting was!" he said, grinning. "I guess there's no use hoping for any peace and quiet this summer, then?" he asked James.

"Oh Monty! Peace and quiet with three teenage boys in the house? No way!" said Mia and they both laughed.

"Well, you know what they say about teenage boys. They're like juvenile dragons in heat... with their raging hormones and short tempers-"

"Dad, _gross_!" said James, repulsed, and his parents laughed. Mia went back to her paper, but she was still smiling.

"It's true. You just said they made up after a fight. So, what's going on upstairs now, do you think?" Monty asked his son with a mischievous smile. Sometimes, Monty forgot that you weren't supposed to say these things to kids.

"Dad! Please, stop!" said James. He didn't want to think of Sirius and Remus as two juvenile dragons in heat. It was too graphic. "I really don't want to think about it at all!"

"So what about you, son? Do you have a little lady we should know about?" Monty asked his son. Mia looked up from her paper.

"Not really," said James.

"But what about the Evans girl? I know you like her, Remus told me last time," said Mia.

"Um... oh yeah. Well, I guess you could say that. But she doesn't like me. I think she hates me, actually. She said I had a big, fat head! I don't know... So yeah, that's not going anywhere," muttered James, trying not to sound whingy.

"Oh well, don't fret, son. There are still plenty of fish in the sea!" Monty said, and James wished his father would stop referring to humans as animals, he still couldn't get the image of the two juvenile dragons out of his head.

Meanwhile, upstairs in James' bedroom, that was exactly what was going on, more or less. As he watched his boyfriend come, Remus thought it was the hottest thing ever. He couldn't resist getting to his feet and kissing Sirius before he even recovered fully.

"That was... that was…" Sirius tried to find good enough words to describe what he'd just experienced, but there weren't any.

"Yeah, I bet even Aurinda Crabbe can't give you as good a blowjob as that," Remus said, smiling, and Sirius laughed.

"Hmmm… I don't know about that, Moony. She had lips like a selkie, even Regulus thought so," Sirius said, his hand caressing the back of Remus's thigh.

"Like a selkie? That's a bit odd," Remus said.

"Definitely. But the lips might work to her advantage," said Sirius slyly. Remus's poker face made him chuckle. "I was joking!" he said.

"Fuck you," Remus said.

"Yes, please do," Sirius replied, grinning, and Remus walked away to flop on the bed.

"Moony, I was joking, honest. _You're_ the love of my life!" Sirius said, walking over to sit beside him.

"Yeah," Remus said.

"I can never love anyone else like I love _you_!" Sirius told him fervently and Remus finally smiled.

"Will you say it back?" asked Sirius.

"I love you too," said Remus in a small voice, and blushed slightly.

Sirius chuckled at the blush. "Say it again," he told him, putting his arms around him.

"I love you."

"Again."

"How many times must I say it?" asked Remus.

"I don't know, I just want to keep hearing it." Sirius said and kissed him. Then they heard a knock on the door.

When James walked in, Remus looked completely relaxed, but Sirius wasn't.

"Prongs, you don't have to knock, this is your bedroom, isn't it?" said Remus casually.

James saw Sirius give Remus a fleetingly bemused look before turning to him again. He also noticed that Sirius had a slight flush in his cheeks. _I'm tempted to ask him about it, just to see him splutter... hmm maybe next time._ Pretending he'd noticed nothing, he told them, "Mum told me to come get you two, she's down in the kitchens, making pancakes."

"Yum," said Remus, and they all trooped downstairs.

"Ah Sirius, how are you feeling today?" asked Monty, as they sat at the table.

" _Groovy,_ " said Sirius, grinning. Monty winked at James, unbeknown to the others, and James's face reddened.

"What's up with you, James?" asked his mother, placing a tall stack of chocolate-chip pancakes on the table. They others looked at him curiously. He didn't know what to say, he looked at his dad who was buried in the _Prophet_ , and wouldn't be coming to his rescue.

"Oh um nothing …" he said, panicking slightly. "Just ignore me!"

"Out with it Potter!" said Sirius, but Monty looked up from the paper and said, "Huh?"

"No I meant James actually, haha" said Sirius.

"Er.. so what did you think of Aurinda Crabbe, mate?" James asked, desperate to change the topic.

Remus and Sirius exchanged looks and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked them.

"You don't wanna know, mate," Remus told him, as Sirius laughed again.

"Since Sirius is feeling so great today, maybe we should let the boys go to the beach, what do you say, Mia?" said Monty.

James blushed again, and acted out a whole coughing fit to hide it. _Oh, he_ _is relentless._

"Absolutely not, sorry boys. I said next week, and that's final. You can go to the library today if you want." she said firmly.

"There's a library here?" asked Remus eagerly.

"No mum! I told you not to mention the library in front of Remus!" said James.

"It's a muggle one, Remus. Completely boring. I don't know why you would want to read books on how to cut onions properly, anyway," said Sirius, trying his hardest. But they had to give in, seeing the joy in his face.

It was not a big library, it had only one big hall, with shelves full of books. Remus found himself a book in three seconds and settled down to read it. But James and Sirius were adamant. They weren't going to get caught reading books during the summer holidays, especially after they finished such a stressful OWL year. They kept talking, their voices alternating in low whispers and chortling, filling the whole hall.

"Prongs, I don't even have my wand with me! I love my wand though, I don't want to get a new one…"

"...Ricci told me, I don't know how he found out, maybe Wormy blabbed again…"

This continued on. And after the librarian shushed them for the fifth time, Remus looked up from his book, annoyed, and told them both to shut up. "Am I supposed to fucking babysit your arses outside of Hogwarts too? Behave yourselves!" he said angrily, and this made them shut up promptly.

Eventually after browsing through the newsletter section, Sirius found a magazine on motorcycles and racing cars. He and James browsed through it, mouthing sentences to each other. Remus smiled to himself when he looked up and saw them. He appreciated their patience.

At around one pm, they left the library, the librarian glaring at them as they walked out. But no one could remember the way back home.

"How can you not know the way back, James? This is _your_ village!" scolded Sirius.

"Yeah, haven't you lived here _your whole life?_ " Remus asked him.

"We apparate everywhere!"

"Still, don't you explore? I thought you loved exploring?"

"This is the only part of the village I haven't been to."

They got lost and ended up at a small taverna for lunch, which served the most delicious baked lamb. Remus ended up paying for it, because he was the only one with muggle money. But he didn't mind, he was just so happy. And after asking for directions multiple times, they finally glimpsed James' front gate at around half-past three.  
Sirius and Remus collapsed on the couch in the parlour, and James went up to his room to take a nap. When James woke up and came downstairs, he saw that the two of them were still fast asleep, Remus had his head on Sirius' chest. He stood there, looking at them.

"James?" his mother called from behind him, opening the parlour door and walking in loudly. But he shushed her. "Look at them, mum. How peaceful do they look? You know... I could just stand here and look at them forever, I love them so much," he said, without turning around.

"Adorable, James, but you have visitors," said his mother.

James turned around and gaped.

"These young ladies claim an acquaintance with you," said Monty.

"EVANS?!" said James loudly, and in the background, Remus and Sirius yelped awake with a start.


	61. Aracari Toucan

Marlene burst out laughing and Lily had an odd expression on her face. "Erm.. I'm just here to see Remus," she said, looking away.

James knew the only reason she didn't give him a clever retort was because his parents were there. But still, he couldn't believe it. _Evans! Lily Evans is in my house, she's standing in my parlour!_

"James, your father and I are going out," said his mother, and he only half-heard her.

Then he noticed his parents were wearing dress robes. "Wait, what?"

Mia chuckled. "We're going to a dinner, and will only be back late. There's some beef stew on the stove, ask Jani," she told him and then they left.

"Marly! Have you come to see me?" asked Sirius enthusiastically, pushing Remus and James out of the way and hugging her, picking her off the ground.

"Sirius! How are you doing?" she asked.

"I am on top of the world! It's so good to see you actually. Wait, how did you know I was here? Evans told you!" he said happily, turning to Lily.

Lily smiled up at him.

"Evans you're a God-send! Really you are. If you're letter hadn't arrived, I don't know what would have happened!" he said and proceeded to hug her.

"Glad I could be of assistance," she said, her voice muffled due to Sirius's large torso.

"Wait, so you wrote to _Sirius_?!" asked Marlene, bewildered. Lily shook her head.

"Let's sit and talk, come on," said James, keen on making them stay as long as possible. They all sat down around a low coffee table, and James walked over to a cupboard. "Would anyone like a drink?" he asked, grinning.

"What do you have?" asked Marlene interestedly.

James grinned and opened the large cupboard, there were about a hundred bottles of various alcohol in there. "Voila!" he said.

Lily gaped. _What a show-off._

"Whoa," said Marlene, walking over. The others followed.

"Unbelievable, you've been keeping this from me," said Sirius indignantly.

"For obvious reasons, Padfoot, mum's very strict," said James. "Even I've only tasted a few of these when they went out, like today."

"It's my dad's collection, the stuff he brings back from his travels," he told the others. Everyone read the names on the bottles.

"Pick something quickly," said James.

"I can't decide, which one's your favourite?" asked Marlene.

"This is called Feni, all the way from Goa, India. It's made from cashew apples, and it's really good. My aunt Eugenia used to drink it," said James, picking up a bottle of clear liquid. Then he put it down again. "No, wait, this Elderflower wine from Austria is pretty good as well."

Finally they settled on White Rat Whiskey. "It's made on one of the Islands of Zanzibar," he informed them and poured small quantities into goblets and handed it into them. Lily took her goblet, still reading the labels. "Wait, rum from Barbados? I've had that before," she said, smiling.

"Wow, really?" said James. "It's so strong."

"What does that mean?" she asked, immediately annoyed. "Are you saying girls can't handle hard liquor?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he tried.

"You meant it exactly like that," she told him. "At least have the cojones to admit it."

" _Cojones_?" asked James, puzzled. "What's that?"

"Balls," said Marlene, sitting down on an armchair and laughing. "Iker says it all the time and I picked it up, and the girls picked it up from me."

The boys chuckled.

"I'm only here because Marlene dragged me," clarified Lily, sitting down on the couch.

"No worries," said James.

"She's right. Mary's in the Shetlands, Frank and Alice and on holiday in Anglesey with their families, so I had to bring her," said Marlene.

"Got it," said James.

"Ooh, Anglesey? Nice!" said James.

"What about Gomez?" Sirius asked.

"Home. _Ecuador_ ," said Marlene, pouting.

"Far away," said Sirius, nodding.

"And also because Remus never replied to my letter and I got worried," said Lily sternly.

"Sorry," said Remus, grinning at Sirius. "Forgot about it completely."

"Yeah, that's right, only remember your friends during a crisis," she said, but she smiled at the way Sirius was holding Remus' hand.

"Sorry Lily, I'll reply next time, but Sirius is right, you know. Thank you for you letter, it arrived just in time," Remus said to her, and they clinked their goblets together.

"What do you mean just in time?" asked Lily.

"Well, Remus was being Remus, but then you'e letter arrived, and he came to his senses," said James, grinning.

Lily still looked confused.

"I'll explain it more fully, I'll reply to your letter," Remus told her.

"Well, in that case, you're welcome, Remus 'Best-arse-at-Hogwarts Lupin," she said, and everyone laughed.

Now, how come I'm not famous like that, Evans?" Sirius asked.

"You are, mate, and you're so aware of it too," said Marlene, shaking her head.

"Except, you'll know more if you ask at the Ravenclaw table!" said James, grinning.

"No James, don't even go there please!" said Sirius.

"What happens if I ask at the Ravenclaw table, Sirius?" asked Marlene, wiggling her eyebrows.

"There, see? You went there, Potter. I blame you for this," Sirius said crossly.

"I blame the Ravenclaws," said James. "They're over-smart and they don't know what to do with all of it."

"I blame the Black family insanity," said Remus, and everyone laughed again.

"Speaking of the Black family insanity," said Marlene, searching in her bag. "I met Reggie at the Rottfield Gala last night."

Sirius stopped smiling.

"And he told me what happened, and asked me to give you these," she said, pulling out his wand and Muggle motorcycle license.

"Oh my wand!" said Sirius, taking them. "Thank you, Marly, you're the best."

James took the motorcycle license and looked it over with amazement.

"And he also told me to tell you that your Uncle Alfie will not be writing you out of his will just because you kissed a boy," she added, winking.

"Great," said Sirius, looking woeful.

"I think your cousin Narcissa saw him giving me the stuff, I later found her staring at me like an aracari," she said and Sirius laughed.

"Yeah, that's her permanent look," he said. "But you needn't worry, she's alright... er, at least she's not a telltale like Bella."

"The bitch," said Remus.

Marlene gasped. "Remus!"

"Well, she is," he said.

Lily chuckled. "Remus swears a lot, this is nothing."

"What's an aracari?" asked James.

"A type of toucan. Bird found in the cloud forests of Ecuador," said Marlene. "Wizards there use the birds to deliver letters sometimes."

"Of course," said James, grinning, making Marlene blush.

"Is it weird that I know so much about Ecuador?" she said, taking a sip of the whiskey.

"Not at all, he's constantly talking about it," said Lily.

"Yeah, where would all that information go, if not into your head?" said Remus smiling reassuringly.

Marlene smiled back.

"See why I say Remus is the only nice Marauder?" said Lily.

"Hey!" said James and she grinned.

"He is," agreed Marlene, and looked at Sirius. He looked sad. "Reggie cares about you, Siri," she said to him.

"I know he does, he was the one who told me to leave," said Sirius, and James and Remus were shocked. "I guess he knew this was the only solution."

"Only solution to what? If your parents decide to disinherit you, it makes him the heir now," said James.

"What are you implying?" asked Marlene.

"Prongs, I'm sure he didn't do it for those reasons," said Remus uneasily.

"Okay," said James, but he didn't look like he believed it.

"What?" asked Remus.

"I just think that instead of telling him to run away, he could have supported him," James said crossly.

"Telling him to run away is supporting him, James," said Remus. "He'd rather see his brother happy and far away, than unhappy and near."

Sirius stared between his friends. "Yeah, I don't think he ever _wanted_ to be the heir, but who knows?" he said. "An even if that was true, I don't care. I mean, now that I'm out of that house, I can see how bad it was. For me."

Remus put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "I just worry about him. There's nothing I can do to help him now. He says he's- but he's hanging with Bellatrix now," said Sirius, frowning. "I told him to come with me, but he didn't!"

"He couldn't," said Remus.

"Oh," said Marlene, realising the magnitude of the problem, and they all sat in silence for a few moments, sipping on the whiskey. Lily and James looked at each other. Neither of them could think of something to say to lighten the mood.

Then Sirius chuckled and looked up at everybody. "Reggie said he'd tell mother and father that he thinks I've gone to see the Falcons' game," he said and Marlene laughed.

"Did he say the _Falcons'_ game and not the _Cannons'_ game?" she asked.

"I know, he supports the Falcons," said Sirius, shaking his head.

"No wonder he's in Slytherin," said James, and they laughed.

"What happened to the game, though?" asked Sirius.

"I'm not sure, I got your letter when the game was still going," said James. "And we came back straight away, I don't know what happened."

"Oh."

"The Falcons won," said Marlene dejectedly.

"What! No, but the Cannons were in the lead when I was leaving!" said James vehemently. "Nick Farley was-"

Marlene shrugged. "Warner got the snitch."

"Damn!" said James.

"Horrible!" said Sirius.

Lily and Remus looked at each other and smiled. "Why is that such a big deal?" she asked him.

"I've been asking myself the same question for six years now, Lily, and I still don't know," Remus told her and she giggled.

Then Marlene said, "Remember our first time at the Rottfield Gala, Sirius? We ended up in the garden stream together, naked!"

Sirius laughed. "And you stepped on that platyhelminthes."

"Yeah, that flatworm," she said and shuddered.

"Excuse me?" asked Remus, pretending to get angry.

"We were six, Moony! It doesn't count!" said Sirius. "And that was only because that gormless Goyle and his friends had stolen our clothes!" he told everyone.

"Why were your clothes off in the first place?" asked Remus, still angry.

Are you _trying_ to get me in trouble Marly?!" asked Sirius.

"Maybe, Siri," she said, with an evil smile.

"First off, I can't believe you went to the Rottfield Gala when you were six! Weren't you bored?" James asked them.

"Ugh, we were. Extremely. That's why we'd decided to go swimming in the stream," Marlene told him.

James shook his head, grinning.

"What's the second thing you were going to say?" Lily asked James.

"Oh yeah. Secondly, there's no use trying to get him in trouble. It's like Peter said once, 'they love fighting with each other so much, now they just need an excuse'. I think it's because when they make up, what comes next is _all_ worth it," said James meaningfully. "If fact, you're just doing them a favour by giving them a reason to fight!" Lily's eyes widened.

"What the fuck, James?!" Remus exclaimed.

"Exactly, Remus. Except that's not the phrase I was going for. It's actually, 'like two juvenile dragons in heat'," said James, with a huge grin on his face. Marlene and Lily laughed. Even Remus and Sirius couldn't help laughing.

Then Lily said, "Ah yes. In the Muggle world, they call it, 'humping like mice.'" and everyone laughed again. Sirius was blushing.

"Sirius, you're blushing. That's cute. Now you know why _I_ was blushing this morning!" said James.

"You mean, when your dad asked me how I was feeling, and I said _groovy_?!" asked Sirius, horrified. Everyone laughed again. Lily had tears in her eyes for laughing.

"Your dad sounds like a very interesting man, James!" she said, wiping her tears.

"He's the best!" said James. Then he realised that this was the first time she had used his first name in front of him. She must have realised too, and avoided his eye.

"Alright, that's enough, Prongs," said Sirius.

"Enough? I was just getting started. You two don't know the half of it. Back when they weren't together yet, all those months were spent just stealing glances at each other, grinning stupidly at each other, getting jealous! Who do you think had to bear all that? And Sirius' pining over the holidays..."

"Wha.." said Remus.

"Getting jealous?" asked Lily, surprised.

"Very," said James, bobbing his head delightedly. "You know how Sirius can't stop flirting with people… Remus would just have this pouty look on his face the whole time. And then of course, Sirius would explain himself, 'oh it wasn't me, she started it and I was trapped.' it's always the same story, do something to annoy the other, then make up for it."

"Oh, shut up James!" said Remus, and Lily laughed. She kept laughing, and James just sat there looking at her, mesmerised. This was the first time Lily Evans had laughed at something he'd said. Remus and Sirius looked looked at the two of them and smiled at each other. They had never considered the possibility of Lily and James ever ending up together, but it seemed like there might be a chance.

The ribbing continued and they only halfheartedly tried to stop James. He even brought up the 'Crying baby' incident. Obviously. Slowly, the talk shifted to studies and they all wondered when their OWL results were going to arrive.

"Sadly people, it's getting late, we should get going," said Marlene after a while, checking her watch, and standing up. Everyone stood up.

"How are you girls getting home?" asked James.

"We're bussing to the nearest floo station, and flooing to the one near Lily's house," Marlene said. "I'm there this week."

"Nice," said James.

"Which one is that?" asked Sirius, and the girls glanced at each other.

"It's the one in Hastings," Lily told him, and the three boys grinned.

They escorted the girls to the bus stop, and waited with them. As the bus arrived, Lily said, "Write to me, Remus." He nodded.

"Can I write to you too, Evans?" asked Sirius. Lily laughed and nodded.

James grinned. _Ugh, she's so beautiful._

They climbed into the bus, and waved goodbye.  
When the bus left, both Remus and James looked pointedly and Sirius, and he said, "Calm down gents. I am currently hatching a master plan in my head. And part of it involves writing long letters to Lily about what I'm up to, but also randomly including snippets of James in some of them, so she gets accustomed to receiving news about you, even though you're not writing to her!" Then he laughed evilly. "Classic conditioning - the Pavlov effect."

"Super idea!" said James, patting him on the back.

"What an awesome idea!" said Remus sarcastically.

"What? It _is_ a good idea," said James.

"Well I do that all the time," said Remus. "Where's my pat on the back?"

James over-enthusiastically thumped him on the back. "Ow."

"We noticed you and Lily today," said Remus.

"Yeah, it was hard not to, you two have chemistry, mate," said Sirius.

"No, don't do that, don't give him hope," said Remus. "Although she did call you by your first name today... hmm..."

James grinned.

"Marlene probably didn't notice anything, " said Sirius, chuckling. "She can be thick-headed sometimes."

"She's not thick-headed, _you_ are," Remus told him.

"Hey!"

"That girl brought Lily Evans to James Potter's house. And she played messenger between the Black brothers at the same time. She's a goddess _,_ " said Remus.

"Yeah, _Siri_ ," said James. They laughed and walked back to the house.

When they reached the gate, a brown barn owl swooped down on them. "Cleo!" said Sirius, hugging the owl. "This is my Uncle Alfie's owl, I guess he's back from Russia!"

"Oh," said James.

Sirius opened the letter and read it. "He wants me to meet him in some muggle village called Chipping Ongar... oh, at a mechanic's called Phil's! That means he'll give me my bike!"

"Your bike?" asked Remus.

"Yeah, my motorbike! I've been altering it for about three years now, but there was a problem with it and it wasn't working," Sirius explained. "Guess it's fixed now!"

"A motorbike? A muggle motorbike?" asked Remus.

"Yes! My very own bike!"

"I thought he was kidding before!" said Remus, looking at James.

James shook his head. "He wasn't!"

Sirius chortled.

"Come on, Sirius, let's go into the house and you can tell him we'll be there," said James.

"But I don't know where _Chipping Ongar_ is!" said Sirius.

"Mum will know," said James simply.

In the bus, Marlene and Lily looked at each other and laughed. "I told you they weren't that bad! Aren't you glad you came?" said Marlene to Lily.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," said Lily, grinning.

"Isn't Potter's family the sweetest though? Taking Sirius in, just like that? When Regulus told me what happened to him, I was so worried. But now, I'm not worried at all," Marlene said.

"But what exactly happened to Sirius? Why did they abuse him?" Lily asked, with concern.

Marlene sighed. "Apparently their cousin Bellatrix let slip to everyone that Sirius was seeing a boy. Actually, she did it on purpose. At the dinner table, in front of all the posh Black relatives."

" _Oh noooo_ , then?" asked Lily.

Marlene hesitated. "They told him to get engaged as soon as possible, to some girl-"

"What! But he's gay!"

"Yeah, and when it didn't work out, Sirius' parents just went insane. Reggie told me his mother used the _Cruciatus curse_ on him."

" _What the fuck!"_

"Apparently this wasn't the first time, either. It had happened before, when they were just kids!" Marlene continued.

What parent can do that to their own child?" said Lily, horrified. "That's why his mood changed so drastically when you spoke about his brother!"

"Yes, but Sirius has a proper family now. He'll be okay." said Marlene. "But when I think about Regulus... He was too proud to seek Sirius' guidance when he _was_ at home, but now that he's left, I feel like he'll just get further brainwashed by everyone around him. I just think the worst sometimes, that all the Black kids will grow up to become Death-eaters!"

Lily didn't know what to say. She always liked helping her friends, but clearly, there was nothing she could do here. She put her arm around Marlene and they didn't speak again for some time.

"The whole Black family is barking mad, Lily. They are literally insane. Them with their Pureblood mania! Sirius is crazy too, you know?" Marlene turned to Lily and said.

"What do you mean?" asked Lily, nervously, thinking of Remus.

"Oh, I don't mean he's crazy like them," said Marlene quickly. "But he's crazy like... he's completely impulsive and completely reckless. He just follows his heart, you know. And he's so so loyal, he'd do anything for his friends. Even _die_ for them. And I think James gets that about him."

Lily thought of Sirius, and remembered him kissing her hand two years ago. 'No one should be forced to do what they don't want to', he had said. She understood now, what he had meant. She understood everything, his joy for the freedom he enjoyed at Hogwarts, his pranks and stupid jokes to make everything light-hearted and fun, and especially his need for attention.

"I feel like I've been unfair to them. But that's no excuse to bully Severus, right?" she asked.

"No, it's not," Marlene replied. "And I'm glad you're always screaming at them. They need to hear it."

Lily smiled. _If only James didn't bully Sev._

"He apologised to him though," reminded Marlene and Lily nodded.  
She had enjoyed James' company today. And the way he had talked about Remus and Sirius at the start, that was almost magical. And she knew he wasn't pretending or showing off like usual, because he didn't even know she was there. Then she gazed out of the window and saw an advertisement of the muggle magazine 'Look-in.' The band 'Slik' were featured on the cover, four boys who kind of looked like the Marauders.  
 _Oh well, everything doesn't need to be decided at once..._

The next morning after breakfast, Remus stood in front of the fireplace in the parlour, and took a pinch of floo powder.

"Don't forget your bag," said James, handing him his bag.

"Thanks," said Remus, and put the floo powder in the fire. The fire roared big and green. "Number six-"

But Sirius pulled him back and hugged him. "Don't gooo..." he whined.

"Let go Sirius, now!" said Remus.

James laughed and pulled him off Remus.

"Stop being a baby. I'll be back in a few days. You understand full well why I'm going!" said Remus sternly. Tonight was the Full moon.

"Let us come with you, then," said Sirius.

"We've been over this, my parents don't need to know anything else, or they'll go completely mental," said Remus.

Okay fine, but can we come visit you tomorrow, at least?" asked Sirius.

"Um, _no_ ," said Remus plainly.

"Oh come on, Moony. We don't expect you to entertain us. We'll just visit you!" said James, but Remus shook his head.

"You don't know my dad, he's so frustrating, and they especially don't know about us, Padfoot. And I'd like to keep it that way," he said.

"But why? Are they homophobic as well?" asked James.

"No, the thing is, they get really stressed about everything, especially my transformations and my recovery. And I don't want to add to their stress, you know," said Remus, glancing guiltily at Sirius.

"Right, because I'm a Black," said Sirius, looking dejected.

"I promise I'll tell them soon, just not now," said Remus, and Sirius nodded, still looking dejected.

"Aw, cheer up Padfoot, you'll be going to get your motorcycle today, you should be thrilled," said Remus.

"Oh yeah!" said Sirius, perking up, and Remus could literally see an idea forming in his head.

"Don't do anything stupid, Padfoot," he quickly told him.

"Of course I won't, said Sirius, grinning.

"And don't go dressed like the pureblood wizards that you are," said Remus.

"We know, Moony," said James.

"Be safe," said Remus. "They might be looking for you."

"I know," said Sirius. "That's why Uncle Alfie said the Chipping place and not London."

"And see that he doesn't become a nihilist in my absence, James," said Remus.

"Yeah," said James, and chuckled.

"Fine, see you guys in a few days then," said Remus and took another pinch of floo powder.

"Bye, Moony," said James and Remus vanished into the emerald flames.

Sirius was left staring at the empty fireplace. Then he turned to James. "What's a nihilist?"

James chuckled. "If you don't already know, it's best if you don't find out right now," he replied.

"Right," said Sirius, already looking a little sad.

"Let's go get your bike, Padfoot!" said James, shaking him excitedly, and Sirius laughed.


	62. Drumsticks

**Author's note: Haha, Claire Ross, you are right, of course! :D :D**  
 **I've written this new chapter around JKR's unofficial prequel featuring James and Sirius, which she wrote back in 2008 for a charity auction. I'm sure you all have read it hehe.**

* * *

"Take that off right now," ordered Sirius, as James walked into the parlour.

"What's wrong with this?" asked James. Mia giggled. "It's the logo of the band, Queen. It's called the Queen crest. You know, the one Albert took me to see after we came back from Sri Lanka?" he said, looking at his parents for approval. His parents nodded, hiding their smiles.  
" _What?_ " he asked.

"Yeah, I know it's the _Queen crest_ , you duffer, it's one of my favourite bands too," said Sirius, and he stood up and opened his leather jacket to show James that he was wearing the same t-shirt.

"Right," said James. "So what if we're wearing the same t-shirt? We both love the band," said James, and Mia chuckled again.

"Yes, we love the band, but we're not coming back from a concert, change immediately," said Sirius.

"I'm not changing, you change," said James.

"No, you change, James," said Sirius.

"Boys, boys," said Monty, standing up. "It's almost 4.45 now, if you don't go, you'll miss the bus. And as you know, the next bus won't be along for another hour."

"Buses are weird," said James.

"They're not weird, they operate on a schedule," said Sirius. "So hurry up and change, so we can go."

"No way. You change if you want."

"No."

"Fine, then."

"Fine."

Mia laughed. Then she remembered something and took Monty aside to discuss it.

James folded his hands and looked at Sirius sideways. "So it's true, then."

"What is?"

"Nothing," said James, then he yawned.

"Spit it out," said Sirius.

"That gay people are a bit particular about the way they dress-"

"Excuse me?" said Sirius, grinning.

"It's just what people say, was that sort of offensive? I'm so sorry," said James quickly.

"It wasn't, don't worry," said Sirius.

"Well, you don't usually behave like..."

"You mean I'm not overtly camp?" asked Sirius, chuckling.

"Yeah," said James awkwardly. "Although you do talk about your hair a lot."

Sirius laughed.

"Why is that funny?" asked James.

"It's just funny that _you_ made that kind of observation," said Sirius. "Well, everyone's not the same, I guess."

"Okay," said James, yawning again.

"What's wrong with you, were you up all night w-"

"Parents! Mother and father right there," said James, blushing.

"Fine, were you up all night, _thinking_ about Ms. Evans?" asked Sirius, grinning.

"I was _actually_ thinking about her, yes," said James.

"What, not even one wank?" asked Sirius.

"Can you not say such things when we're in the same room as my parents, please?" James whispered furiously, and Sirius chuckled.

"Are you sure you don't need us to come with you?" asked Mia, walking up to them. She looked like she was worried.

"We're fine, mum," said James. "Please don't worry."

"I'll worry anyway."

"Sorry," said Sirius.

"For what, love?" asked Mia.

Sirius stared at her. Walburga always called Regulus 'love', but she had never once used it for him.

"Sirius?" asked Mia, looking at him curiously.

"Nothing," he replied, shaking his head and smiling. Mia patted his cheek lovingly.

After changing two buses, they finally arrived at Chipping Ongar. When they got off the bus, it looked like they won't find the mechanic's easily. They walked around, trying to find a sign, but there wasn't any. So they looked for someone to ask for directions. James spotted some teenagers sitting under a big oak tree, smoking.

"Hello," said James, walking up to them, while Sirius hung back, looking around the square. "Do you guys know the way to Phil the mechanic's?"

The teenagers exchanged glances. "We do, but it's been shut down," said a girl.

"Yeah, for over a year now," said another girl.

"Oh," said James.

"Why are you looking for a mechanic? Did you car break down or something?" asked one boy.

"Not really," said James.

"Is that your mate over there?" said one of the girls, pointing at Sirius.

"Yeah," said James, looking at Sirius.

Sirius walked over and the girls giggled. "Hi!" he said, and the girls giggled again.

"Can you tell us the way, anyway?" said James.

"Go straight along this road, past the stream, then you'll see an abandoned workshop, that's Phil's," a boy told them, he looked keen to get rid of them.

"Thanks," said the two Marauders and walked down the lane.

The girls watched them leave. "Oh, the one in the jacket!" exclaimed the first girl.

"He is _fit._ "

"They look like a couple of groupies," said one of the boys.

"I'm just saying he's good-looking," said the girl. "Don't be a wanker, Jake."

"I wonder why they're going to Phil's," said the second boy. "Do you think they're looking for buried treasure?"

"They didn't look like bank robbers to me," said one of the girls.

"No, I know, they're sons of bank robbers."

"Hmm, could be."

"Should we follow them?" asked the boy called Jake.

"You're all idiots, they're probably going there for a drug deal," said the third girl conspiratorially.

"That'd be the most exciting thing this village has seen in years."

"But in that case, they wouldn't be asking for directions like that and exposing themselves," said Jake.

"Hmm... you're right," said the first girl.

Sirius looked at the abandoned building. "Let's go in," said James.

"Wands out, Prongs," said Sirius, and they both took their wands out and pushed the door. It creaked open like in a horror movie.

"Uncle Alfie?" said Sirius in a low voice. Then they heard footsteps. A blonde man in his fifties walked up to them menacingly from inside the darkness, he was dressed like a muggle mob boss. James and Sirius quickly aimed their wands at him. "Who the hell are you?!"

"I am Boris," the man replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He had a deep voice and spoke in a Russian accent.

"What? Where's Alphard?" asked asked Sirius.

"Getting your motorbike, of course," said Boris, pointing to the back.

"Be right there in a second, Sirius," they heard a voice from the back. "This thing weighs a tonne!" And a moment later, Uncle Alfie came into view, wheeling a huge bike and panting. Sirius and James lowered their wands.

"Whoa!" said James.

"Oh, fantastic!" said Sirius, running up to him. Alphard put the bike in it's stand with difficulty and hugged Sirius.

"How have you been, Sirius?" he asked.

"Okay, I guess," Sirius mumbled.

"I'm so sorry," said Alphard.

Sirius nodded. "Er, this is my James- I mean my friend James. Potter," he said, gesturing at James to come over. Alphard and Boris chuckled.

"Hello James!" said Alphard, wringing his hand enthusiastically. "So good to meet you!"

"You too, sir, Sirius has told me a lot about you," said James.

"And this is my boyfriend, Boris," said Alphard.

"Hello," said Boris, grinning like a five-year-old.

"Yeah, I know he's too old to be called a _boy_ friend, but it is what it is," said Alphard, smiling.

"Man-friend, then?" suggested Sirius, grinning.

"Man-child, more like," said Alphard.

"Hey! If you must know, I am a engineer," said Boris importantly. "Engineers are very distinguished in Moscow."

Everyone chuckled.

"How did you meet?" asked Sirius interestedly.

"Oh, the usual," said Alphard.

"What's the usual way?" asked James curiously.

"At a library," said Alphard and they all chuckled again. Sirius was reminded of his own boyfriend.

"He fixed your bike, you know," Alphard added.

"Really? Despite all the magical alterations?" asked Sirius, surprised.

"He's a genius," said Alphard.

"Well, the spark plug wire... it was bad, I fixed it, and then it was working," said Boris.

"Thanks so much!" said Sirius, hopping on to the bike.

James laughed. "I thought your feet wouldn't touch the ground!"

Everyone laughed.

"I'm not that short," Sirius replied. "Maybe they won't for Peter..." Then he whooped. "Yeah, baby!" he said, feeling the handlebars. The others smiled, happy to see him so excited. Then he got off the bike, and hugged his uncle. "Thanks Uncle Alfie! You're the best!" he said to him.

"No worries, glad I could help out!" said Alphard. "Now remember, this bike is not new, as you know."

Sirius nodded.

"The people I first bought this bike from, told me that it might have been magically tinkered before. So be careful," he said.

"Right," said Sirius.

"And always keep your license with you, you don't want to get caught by the those law enforcement people-"

"Traffic police?"

"Yeah, them."

Sirius nodded.

"Alright, then, we should all get going, staying here too long isn't safe," said Alphard.

"Well, come on then Prongs, hop on! Adventure awaits!" said Sirius, and kicked it on. The machine roared alive, it almost sounded like a small dragon.

"Er, James, I just wanted to say... I thank you for what you are doing for Sirius," Alphard said, looking at his nephew affectionately.

James smiled. "We love having him with us," he replied, getting on the bike.

"Unfortunately, there's no helmet," said Boris.

"Oh," said James.

"Buy one as soon as you can," said Alphard. "I'm not kidding."

"Right-o!" said Sirius. He couldn't wait to ride the bike.

"Well, off you go then," said Alphard.

They took one last look at him and Boris and zoomed away.

"That James kid called you 'sir'," said Boris, and Alphard chuckled. "He did, didn't he?"

"This is awesome!" shouted Sirius excitedly.

James could barely hear him. "Sirius, you really do need a helmet!' said James, looking at Sirius' hair flying all over the place. Sirius just whooped again and laughed. They reached the place where the teenagers were sitting. Sirius honked and nodded at them. All of them stood up in awe as they rode away.

"Wow!" said the first girl.

"Did you see that bike!" said the second girl.

"Did you see him on that bike?" said the third girl.

"Where did he get the bike?" asked Jake.

"So it was just a bike drop-off point," said the second boy with a bored expression.

"Well, I guess they're not drug-dealers or _sons of bank robbers_ ," said the first girl, chuckling.

"There goes the one chance this village had of being nearly exciting," said Jake. "I'm moving to London next year."

"It's almost like it's a part of my body, I feel so alive!" Sirius yelled, increasing the speed. James understood completely, he felt the exact same on a broomstick.

After a while, James realised that there was a lot of traffic around him. The roads were packed. Not that it bothered Sirius, he seemed to weave through it with ease. Then he saw a sign with the names Richmond and Kingston Upon Thames. "Er, Sirius, what the heck are we doing inside London?!"

"I missed a turn," said Sirius, chuckling.

"This isn't funny, we could be seen-"

Suddenly Sirius swerved a pink ray of light. James looked up, three hooded people on broomsticks were shooting spells at them.

"Padfoot, we have to lose them!" yelled James.

"On it," said Sirius, he changed gears and James felt the bike accelerate rapidly. They zoomed past cars and buses quickly.

"Oh crupshit! Red light!" said Sirius.

"Jump it!" James told him. "Aaargh, you nearly killed that man with the dog!"

"No one's dead!"

"Not yet!" yelled James and he could hear Sirius chortling away.

But then it nearly happened again. A woman laden with shopping bags was trying to cross the road, and they nearly ran her over. She squealed as Sirius braked hard and swerved around her.

"Fuck! Sirius, slow down!" yelled James and looked up to see that their pursuers weren't far behind. "No, _don't_ slow down, _don't_ slow down!"

"Hold on," said Sirius, and turned a sharp corner. James looked up, the sky appeared empty.

"Did we lose them?" Sirius asked him. But suddenly, the hooded people almost right on top of them. James noticed they had masks on too.

"Duck!" James yelled, and they both ducked to avoid a stunning spell.

"Guess not!" said Sirius and James laughed.

"Let's go! Go, go, go!" yelled James.

They reached a double-laned road. "Sweet," said Sirius and speeded up even more. The vehicles passed them in almost a blur.

Police Constable Anderson looked at his watch. "What say you, Sergeant?" he said. "Up for a drink after we clock out?"

Sergeant Fisher frowned. "Anderson, you're always..." his voice trailed away as the motorbike whizz past them. "Look at those hoodlums! They could kill someone! Check the gun!"

"Er..." mumbled Anderson, showing him the numbers. "Maybe this thing's broken."

"I don't- follow them now!" he yelled and Anderson stepped on the accelerator.

 **Cue scene from the Marauders' Prequel :)**

Fisher crouched there for a long time, trying to process everything. Then he blinked and looked around.

"I'm still alive, I'm still alive," Anderson was muttering to himself. Fisher gave him a shove to snap him out of it.

"What just happened Sergeant?! Tell me I just didn't dream about that _flying motorbike_!" cried Anderson.

"Come on, get up," said Fisher, pulling him up. They went around the car slowly. All the windows of the car were shattered, one door was broken, it was battered all over.

"What are we going to write in the report, sir? The car's destroyed!" said Anderson.

The approached the three unconscious men on the ground. They were wearing long hooded cloaks and masks, as if they it were Halloween. Fisher removed the mask from one of them. It was the face of a young boy, around the same age as the motorcyclists. He was bleeding slightly from his temple. Fisher sighed. _What the hell is going on here?_

"Sergeant?" said Anderson, pointing at the splintered, broken broomsticks. The word 'witch' came to mind and before he could shake it away as nonsense, he remembered the drumsticks the two kids were shooting spells from. _Wait, spells?!_

" _Sergeant?!_ " said Anderson, pulling on the sleeve. "Let's get out of here!"

"Wait," said Fisher, and pointed at another thin strip of wood lying on the ground. Anderson picked it up and examined it.

"What the hell is that?" said Fisher, looking closely at it. The wooden stick was ornately carved. "These aren't drumsticks... They're... They're..." _Magic wands? Like the one Cinderella's fairy godmother has? I must be going mad._ He exchanged glances with Anderson.

"Well, let's see, there were two groups," said Fisher, trying to make sense of the situation. "And these three were chasing those two..." Then one of the hooded persons stirred, and Anderson dropped the wand in fear. It fell to the ground and emitted a green spark.

"Let's go," said Fisher immediately , and they nearly ran out of the narrow alley. They kept walking for over ten minutes, and then Fisher slowed down and looked at his colleague. "That drink doesn't sound like a bad idea now, Anderson."

James laughed as the motorcycle flew over rooftops and trees and almost into the clouds. "Padfoot, I think you forgot to tell me something!" he yelled.

"And what's that Prongsie?" asked Sirius.

"That this thing could fly!"

Sirius laughed. "What did you think I was doing for the past three years, then?" he asked.

"Holy Merlin!"

Sirius laughed again.

"This is amazing, Pads!"

"It really is," said Sirius, looking down at the twinkling streetlights. "The only problem is, I don't know if I'm going the right direction."

James laughed. "You are. Keep going in the direction of those hills."

"You got it."

"Sirius, do you think those were actual death eaters or some Slytherins playing games?" asked James, after a while.

"I think they were actual death eaters, sent on unofficial business by Bellatrix," Sirius replied. "I also know who they were, did she think I wouldn't recognise those ham-like gorilla arms of Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange?"

"What does Bellatrix want with you now? You're out of the house," said James.

"James, don't act naive, she wants to catch me and bring me back home," said Sirius. "Or... I don't know, maybe she wants me dead... all I know is that she's getting crazier by the minute."

"Okay, but we are not telling mum and dad about this, ever," said James. "Yeah, put the bike down here."

"We still have the trace on us," Sirius reminded him, lowering the bike to the earth. "And we did magic in front of two muggles."

" _Fuck!_ "

They soon arrived at the estate, but they couldn't get in. It looked like there were protective charms in place. Suddenly, they were undone, and Sirius and James saw Monty and Mia running up to them.

"Boys, what happened?" asked Monty, redoing the charm.

"Are you alright?" asked Mia. "See, I told you, you should have gone with them!"

"We're perfectly fine, mum, relax," said James, getting off the bike.

"Shut up, just shut up!" she yelled.

"Mum!"

"We were really worried, James," said Monty angrily. "Do you think we are stupid? We know the Black family has lackeys looking for Sirius everywhere in London, and we know you had a run-in with them, we received a warning from the Improper Use of Magic Office about your underage magic!"

"Oh no, one of those letters must have reached Grimmauld Place too," said Sirius gloomily. Then he turned to James. "Wait, if they saw me with you, then they must've realised by now, that I'm staying with you," he said, and ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly. But his fingers got stuck in his tangled hair.

"Forget about that now, they were bound to find out sooner or later," said Monty. "Get inside first."

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Mia, walking with the boys to the dining room. The boys nodded. After they'd finished eating, Mia looked at them with purpose. "You're now going to tell us everything that has happened tonight," she said sternly.

So, James told them what all had happened that evening, avoiding the parts where Sirius nearly hit two people. "Hmm," said Monty, looking thoughtful. "You shouldn't have gone into London."

James looked at Sirius accusingly. "Like I said, I missed a turn," said Sirius guiltily.

Monty sighed. "It's alright, both of you go up to your room and get some rest," he told them.

James fell asleep quickly, but Sirius couldn't. He felt really restless. He got up and walked up to the roof and sat down on the rug there. He felt really guilty. If anyone attacked their house, he knew the Potters could stand their ground, but he felt bad about giving Mrs. Potter all this tension and worry. It was his fault, what had happened tonight. The Potters would have been having a peaceful summer holiday in some resort in the Alps by now, if it weren't for him, crashing the party. He sighed loudly and lay down on the rug and looked up at the moon.  
 _Poor Moony, how must he be faring?_ Then he noticed something. _Wait a second._

Just then, the door opened and James walked out, holding two cups of cocoa. "Knew you'd be up here," he said, grinning. "Worried about Moony?"

"Actually, look at the moon," Sirius said and pointed at it. "Do you see anything off?"

James looked up at the moon. "No, am I supposed to?"

"It's not full!" said Sirius.

"What!" said James, looking up again. "Looks pretty full to me."

"No, it isn't, look, there's still one day left," said Sirius, quickly getting to his feet. "Let me check the-" Then he stopped. "Oh, my lunar calendar is in my trunk... in Grimmauld Place."

"Ugh, that sucks, Padfoot," said James. "Here, drink some cocoa."

"Thanks."

"What should I do about my clothes, though? And all my books?" Sirius asked after a while.

"We'll get you new ones, mate, don't worry about that," said James.  
As he watched Sirius drink the cocoa, James realised they couldn't keep him reigned in for too long. Today was difficult enough for him, resisting the urge to sneak off to Remus' house. The motorcycle adventure had kept him busy for today, but tomorrow, it wouldn't be that easy. He knew Sirius would somehow try and escape. _He might just jump on his bike and show up at their door. What will they do then? Need to distract him somehow._

The next day, James woke with a plan. After breakfast, he asked his parents if they could go to Diagon Alley. "Very funny, James, you haven't even received your OWL results, you don't have your book lists, what are you planning to buy there?" asked Monty.

"Er, clothes. Sirius needs clothes," said James.

"Well, I have enough clothes for now," said Sirius. "We've already been shopping in the village."

"Yeah, but what about school uniforms?" said James.

"We can get them when the book lists arrive," said Sirius.

James was keen to get him out of the house to keep him occupied, but then he realised that Sirius was trying to stay _in_ the house, so as not to worry the Potters. He grinned at him. "Let's play Quidditch then," he said.

"Okay, but this time, I'm getting your new one," said Sirius. "I don't like your old broomstick, it's developed a drag."

"Fine."

After playing a vigorous game of one-on-one Quidditch, James succeeded in convincing Sirius to take a nap in the afternoon. When he woke up, Sirius and Monty played a game of chess in the study.  
"Check," said Monty, and the agate queen moved menacingly forward. "Come on, Sirius, you can do better than that."

But James knew he couldn't. Sirius was getting restless. He put a lock of his hair in his mouth as he stared at the chess pieces, and then James decided that enough was enough. "Okay, let's go," he said, pulling him up to his feet.

"We haven't finished the game yet," said Monty.

"Sorry, dad, this is urgent," said James and dragged Sirius out of the study and into the parlour. He stood Sirius in front of the fire and gave him some floo powder. "Go ahead," he told him, and Sirius looked confused. "Go to Remus."

Sirius wordlessly took the floo powder, said the address and disappeared into the flames.

Preventing him from going over there didn't feel right. _If Sirius really wants to be there for Remus, he will. Yes, this was the right thing to do... no matter what happens there. Even if the Lupins find out that he's an animagus._ _The transformation is too painful alone._ _I guess Remus will just have to deal with that dad of his..._


	63. Bridesmaids' Dresses

Lily gaped at her sister. "What did you say?" she asked.

"I said Marge is going to be my maid of honour, it's been decided," said Petunia.

"I don't understand, why am _I_ not your maid of honour?" demanded Lily.

"Lily, please!" said Petunia, angrily folding some clothes. "You're never there for me when I need you, and now you come back from school and act like some sort of loving sister-"

"That's not fair, Tunie, I wrote to you about a dozen times, you never reply!" said Lily.

"I was busy."

Lily put her hands on Petunia's shoulders. "I'll make it up to you, alright? Let me be your maid of honour, and I'll do everything you need, I'll be there the whole time," she said, her eyes pleading.

Petunia sighed. "Look, it's not just that," she said, not meeting Lily's eyes. "You don't even know Vernon. You don't know the best man-"

"But I do know them."

"What's the best man's name, Lily?" asked Petunia.

"Mark!"

"Yes, but you don't _know_ them know them, do you? And besides, Vernon's mother wants Marge to be the maid of honour, I can't do anything," said Petunia. Then she carelessly removed Lily's hands from her shoulders and walked away.

Lily shook her head. _So what if I wasn't there? Not all families stay at the same place!_  
She turned around and followed Petunia into the living room. "Tunie, listen..."

"Flower baskets are in that box over there, mum," said Petunia, ignoring Lily on purpose. Then she knelt in front of the two five year old twins. "Hi Doris, hi Pearl, are you excited to be flower girls next week?" she asked them.

"Yes, Tunie!" one of the girls replied, giving Petunia a hug. Petunia chuckled.

"Tunie, listen to me-"

Petunia stood up and waved at a man in a bright blue shirt, entering through the door. He was holding a large bag. "Come in, Mark!" she said.

"Bridesmaids dresses all altered and ready to be worn on D-day!" he said joyfully, setting the bag down.

"Thanks so much, Mark, but please don't call it D-day, we're not going off to war," said Petunia, handing him a glass of lemonade. "Here, have some lemonade."

"Thanks Tunie," said Mark, accepting the glass and wiping his brow with a handkerchief. "Needed this, the sun was blazing. Hello Lily."

"Hi Mark. Tunie, I could have brought those dresses back from the tailor," said Lily, making her way towards them through the children playing there. "At least give me some jobs to do."

"Why? So you can assuage your guilt by pretending to help around?" Petunia asked her, sipping the lemonade.

Mark looked awkwardly between the two of them. "Er, Mr. Evans! There you are," he said loudly, waving at Lily's father and hurrying away to him.

"Besides, Mark lives right by the tailor's, you would know that if you had been around and not at that freak school of yours," said Petunia, sipping lemonade casually.

"Not on that again, are you?" said Lily. "Do you still hate me for going away to that school?"

"Yes, I do," whispered Petunia furiously. "You and that Snape boy, and that freak friend of yours, lounging upstairs... what am I supposed to tell Vernon about you? He's bound to find out one day! Vernon is very clever, you know."

"Just tell him the truth, Petunia, if he really loves you, he'll understand," said Lily kindly. "Oh, so this is what you were really worried about?"

"Easy for people like you to spout romantic jargon like that," Petunia snapped.

"People like me?"

"Yeah, perpetually single people!" said Petunia crossly. "You sit in your room and read Mills and Boon all day long-"

"I don't read Mills and Boon! I read Danielle Steel and Sidney Sheldon. And- and Shakespeare!" said Lily angrily.

"Whatever! But real life is different from novels, Lily. It's not all red roses and silk sheets."

"Look, I can understand why you're so agitated," said Lily patiently. "How about we tell him together? I'll be able to explain it all in an unambiguous way."

"You will do _no such thing_! You know... I wish you weren't coming to the wedding at all!" Petunia muttered and stalked away, leaving a very hurt Lily at the doorway.

"Hey mum," said James, standing in the doorway of his parents' bedroom. Mia was sitting at a desk, writing a letter to someone.

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up.

"Didn't you say we'd all be going on a holiday this summer?" he asked, walking up to her.

"Did I?" she asked casually.

"You did, and I know you remember," he said, grinning.

"Yeah, I did, I know," said Mia, chuckling. "But if you remember, I also said we'll go if you get good OWLs."

"But we don't know when they'll arrive, and we're already halfway through our holidays," said James.

"Hmm, you're right," said Mia, scratching her head with the quill. The black ink disappeared in her black hair. "But do you think it'll be good for Sirius? He needs rest."

"Mum, Sirius is fine," said James, waving his hand. "Besides, change of scenery is what he needs."

"Is he still getting nightmares?" she asked,

"Well, he doesn't get them everyday-"

"So he is still getting them."

"Mum, he used to get nightmares even in first year. I don't know, maybe he has some disease like Chronic Nightmarism or something," said James sadly.

"Don't think there's such a thing, James," said Monty, walking in from the bathroom.

"No, maybe there is, and people just don't know about it," said James thoughtfully. "Would it be alright if I wrote a letter to Agatha Selwyn about this?"

Monty and Mia looked at each other. "No, go ahead," said Monty.

"Okay, great," said James, and he walked out.

"Did you talk to Sirius about this?" Monty asked Mia.

"He doesn't talk to me!" said Mia, setting the quill down angrily. "It's really vexing."

"Give him some time, honey," said Monty, massaging her shoulders. "For all we know, no one at home has ever asked him how he was feeling."

"Hmm," said Mia, her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, he used to get them since first year!" she said, wiping her cheek. "The poor thing!"

Monty knelt beside her chair to console her. "I know," he sighed, patting her arms. "Hearing that made me feel wretched too."

Peter's hands were shivering as he looked at the scene unfolding in front of him. _Why the hell did I agree to come back here? Why, oh, why?_  
He was standing in an underground chamber of an abandoned church, watching a dark ritual take place. Five men in brown medieval robes, stood chanting around a pentagram, inside of which, there was a corpse. An actual dead body. He suddenly squeaked as he saw the corpse twitch.

Razvan chuckled noiselessly at him.

"You said we were going to watch them cure someone of Psychic Plague, not bring a damned _corpse_ back to life!" Peter said in a low voice. He was really angry.

"They're not bringing it back to life, you tâmpit," Razvan whispered back. "You can't bring back the dead that way. They're evoking the spirit of Yaphyll the Yeasty, one of the seven purple druids of-"

"Why are they doing that?!" asked Peter, at the same time, wondering why the druid was so yeasty. _Did he smell bad?_

"The spirit needs a medium, it speaks through the dead body-"

"I meant, why the fuck are they evoking the spirit in the first place?!" asked Peter.

"To predict the future, of course! The old druids were also fortune tellers," Razvan told him. Then he smiled slyly at Peter. "You know, if you wanted, you could get your face read by him."

"I am not having my face read by a dead body, this is the definition of absurdity!"

"Yaphyll the Yeasty will be hurt if he heard that, Peter," said Razvan, and laughed.

Peter stood there and fumed. Then he felt a sudden cool breeze blow from behind him, and some of the candles in the room were extinguished. He shivered again, this time due to the cold. The temperature weirdly dropped about five degrees. It was unnaturally cool.  
Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his backside, as if someone had pricked him with a needle. He yelped and turned around. There was no one there.

"Told you," said Razvan importantly.

Peter turned to face the pentagram again, rubbing his bum, but he kept checking behind him every ten seconds. _Maybe someone's here under an invisibility cloak..._ _or was it really the yeasty one?! Oh, mum, save me!  
_ Peter wasn't afraid of ghosts, there were many ghosts at Hogwarts. And ghosts were just imprints of living people, they weren't souls. But spirits were different, he had read enough books to know that spirits were dangerous. They were souls that came back from the underworld when summoned, and they had all kinds of destructive powers.

Sirius tumbled out of the Lupins' fireplace, covered in soot. He rubbed his elbow. Should have kept them tucked in.  
Then he looked up. A woman stood in the corner of the room, pointing a wand at him. He quickly got to his feet, making her jump.  
"Sorry," he said, putting his hands up. Then he dusted his clothes. "Didn't mean to scare you, I'm Sirius, one of Remus' friends from school."

"Oh, hello," she said. She smiled and lowered the wand. "I've heard a lot about you."

"I'm just coming from James', I'm staying there over the summer," he told her, pointing at the fireplace.

"Right," she said, nodding. "I'm Hope, Remus' mother."

"You can't be anyone else, I'd recognise you in a crowd," said Sirius, grinning at her.

She looked curious.

"You have the same face," said Sirius, and she smiled again.

"Right," she said.

"Wait, aren't you a muggle? How do you have a wand?" he asked her.

"This is Remus' wand," she said, placing it on the counter. "I didn't know who you were."

"Ah, for scaring potential intruders," he said, nodding wisely.

"Only wizarding intruders, the muggle ones would laugh at me," she said and he grinned.

"Muggle ones wouldn't be emerging from your fireplace though," said Sirius. "You know, in a burst of green flames."

"Except Santa Claus," she said. "Although, Lyall has a theory, he believes that Santa might have been a kind old wizard in some German town who really loved kids."

"Interesting," said Sirius, nodding again. Then he remembered why he was there. "Er, can I see Remus?" he asked.

"Well... erm..." she mumbled, looking doubtfully at him.

"I know he's a werewolf, I just wanna-" said Sirius. "See him once."

"Well, he's already down in the basement, and it will be moonrise soon, I think it's best you don't go there," she told him.

"It's summer, moonrise is like an hour away, please can I just see him once? Please?" he begged her.

She folded her hands and shook her head, and Sirius resisted grinning at how much she looked like Remus just then. She was exactly like him. "Pretty please? With a cherry on top?" he said, putting on his best and cutest, most innocent puppy face, and she finally smiled.

"End of the corridor," she said and pointed towards a corridor leading away from the drawing room.

"Thank you!" he said and ran down the corridor. Hope followed him. He opened the door and there were some stairs leading to another door. He hurried down and opened the second door.

Remus was sitting on a bed that looked like it was made out of rags. He was unable to believe his eyes. There Sirius was, with his hair extremely windswept and a tangled mass.

Hope stood at the top of the stairs. "Padfoot, I told you not to come! Why don't you _ever_ listen?" she heard her son say, and smiled to herself. _What is this name, Padfoot?_

"I know, I know, but I just-" Sirius began, but Remus walked over to him and shut the door, making the room pitch black.

"I'm so fucking glad you came," he said and kissed him intensely. Sirius hummed and put his arms around Remus.

Hope Lupin stood there in the dark corridor, wondering what was going on, when she heard an anxious knock on the door. Then the bell ring twice. She quickly walked to the front door and opened it. It was Ellen, the neighbours' kid. "Mrs. Lupin, please come quick! Gran's slipped and fallen in the bathroom!" the kid squeaked.

"Oh my God! I'm coming now," she said, shutting the door, and followed the kid.

"That was quite the welcome," said Sirius, grinning.

"I cannot believe you're in my house!" said Remus, hugging him.

"Did you just sniff my shoulder?" asked Sirius.

Remus didn't say anything.

"Moony?"

"You know you always smell so good," Remus replied, and kissed his neck eagerly.

"Moony, I know you can see in the dark and everything, but I can't," said Sirius.

"So what? You just need to feel."

"No, I want to see you," said Sirius, and he heard Remus tut and walk away. Then he heard a click and a light came on.

"An incandescent bulb," said Sirius, grinning up at it. "I learnt about those in Muggle Studies."

"Where's your jacket?" asked Remus.

"I'm coming directly from James', didn't need it," said Sirius, still looking at the bulb. "Why?"

"Cos you look good in it..." said Remus, and Sirius turned around.

"Just good?"

"Okay, you look hot in it," said Remus. Then he pulled at Sirius' t-shirt. "You also look hot with no shirt on." Sirius raised his hands. Remus took the shirt off and ran his hands on his bare shoulders.

"Why am I the only one with no shirt?" asked Sirius, and Remus took his shirt off and flung it away in a corner. Then he put his arms around Sirius' waist and picked him up.

"Moony!"

Remus carried him to the bed and threw him onto it. Then Sirius laughed as Remus climbed on top of him. Then he bent down and kissed Sirius' chest. "Did I tell you I'm glad you're here."

"You did, but even if you didn't, I can clearly see that you are," said Sirius, and Remus nipped his shoulder.

"Ow!" said Sirius, and Remus chuckled. Then he looked into Sirius' eyes. "I really am glad," he said seriously.

"Me too," said Sirius, cupping his face, and he felt Remus' body relax a bit. "And I'm staying in this room with you tonight, and no one's going to stop me."

Remus smiled and kissed him again. Sirius kissed him back enthusiastically.

"Ow, damn!" said Remus, sitting up and massaging his left shoulder.

"You okay?" asked Sirius.

"Just the stiffness from the transformation," said Remus, leaning in again.

"Are you sure you want to… I mean you must be exhausted," said Sirius, holding him steady.

"Oh. Well, if you don't want to," said Remus, getting off of him and lying down beside him.

"Hey!" Sirius sat up and looked down at his boyfriend. "I didn't mean it like that, Moony. I'm definitely up for a shag, you know that, but you look really tired. Maybe we shouldn't, you know?"

"It's not even shagging, what we do," Remus pouted, and turned his back to Sirius.

" _Remus_ ," said Sirius, trying to turn him to face his way again, but Remus didn't yield. "Remus, do you really want to have sex right now? As in, actually?" Sirius asked.

"Well, no…" Remus said, shifting to face him again. "I- ugh, never mind, just forget it."

"Moony, tell me!"

"I get really horny around the full moon, alright!" he said. "It's just embarrassing… but I don't want to force you or anything."

Sirius smiled. "Remus, why didn't you just say so?"

Remus looked at him hopefully.

"And you weren't forcing me," he said, lying down beside him and kissing his forehead.

Remus looked like he wanted to kiss him again, but he stopped himself.

"Now, Moony, just lie back and relax, and I'll do it all for you," said Sirius, sliding his hand along Remus' flat stomach and into his pants.

"Oh my God!" said Remus, then he gasped.

"Do you like that?" Sirius asked slowly. Remus merely groaned in response.

"Moony, do you know how often I get turned on by you?" Sirius asked him.

"Tell me."

"Like when I see your sleepy eyes at night in the dorm…"

"Oh, wow," said Remus.

"And when your run your hand through your messy hair in the mornings."

"Uh-huh."

"But other times, it's just wrong."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it happens in class, it's quite _bad_ , really," Sirius whispered.

"Really?"

"And…"

"And?" Remus asked, a little desperately.

"And that one time you wore one of James' practice jerseys during a game... I just wanted to fuck you right there under the stands," Sirius told him.

"Sirius!"

Frank and Alice stood on the terrace of the ancient castle and looked at the scenery, holding hands. Alice sighed. "Alone at last, Longbottom! Look at the view from up here, it is breathtaking!"

"Truly!" said Frank. Then they looked at each other and smiled. Alice moved a little closer to him. Frank smiled. "Can't wait to kiss me, can you?"

"No," she said and pulled his face towards her and kissed him. Two seconds later... "Ah, there you are, Frankie," they heard Augusta call.

"Oh, mother, why did you climb all those stairs, didn't you say your leg was aching?" said Frank, running over to his mother.

"Well, I was looking for you, darling," said Augusta, smiling at Frank.

"Oh, mum. Here, let me help you," said Frank, and Augusta took his hand.

Alice huffed inwardly. _This irritating woman! Won't allow her son to have a moment alone with his own girlfriend!  
_ When Alice's mother had suggested they all take this trip together to know each other's families, she had mistakenly thought it would be a fun family adventure. But it was turning out to be a fiasco. On the first day itself, Alice's and Frank's mothers had an huge argument about some hotel reservations. Then on the second day, Frank's Uncle Algie had walked in on her, while she was changing into her swimsuit. She had been mortified to the core. On the third day, her father suffered a bout of food poisoning, and was stuck in bed, back in the hotel room, and Alice's mother had stayed back to look after him.  
She sighed. _Well, I guess the woman misses her son. Frank and I can spend time at school anyway..._  
Alice ran after them. "Augusta, why don't you give me your handbag, I can carry it for you?" she said, reaching out to take it.

But Augusta slapped her hand hard. "Ouch!" said Alice, rubbing her hand.

"Oh, did that hurt? Sorry dear, but I don't like anyone touching my handbag," said Augusta, straightening her stuffed-vulture hat.

'Sorry' Frank mouthed to Alice meekly. Alice narrowed her eyes at him and went down the stairs angrily.

Remus brushed Sirius' face. "Your hands are amazing, they have magic in them," he told him.

"I bet you say that to all the girls you bring down here," said Sirius, and Remus laughed.

By the time Hope came back to the house, she'd completely forgotten about Sirius. Lyall had already sealed the basement with his powerful enchantments. She and Lyall lay on their bed, trying to sleep, but still keeping an ear open for any sound. The night went on and they slowly drifted off to sleep. But then, at around six in the morning, Hope snapped her eyes open.  
 _Did the kid leave?!_ "Lyall! Lyall wake up! Did the kid leave?! Did you check on Remus before you sealed the basement?!" She asked him, panicking.

"Wait, what kid?!" asked Lyall, sitting up and switching on the bed lamp.

"There was a boy here last night! He left, right?!" she asked.

"I didn't know the kid was in there, I just sealed the room!" Lyall shouted, grabbing his wand. "Why didn't you tell me Hope?! And why in heaven's name would you allow him to go down there in the first place!"

They jumped out of bed, wrenched the door open and ran to the end of the corridor. Lyall hurriedly undid the enchantments and ran down the stairs. Then he undid further enchantments and opened Remus' door an inch or so, hoping to the heavens they didn't see a dead body in there! They saw a large shape on the bed and slammed the door shut again.

"We could have died!" he shouted, redoing the enchantments as fast as he could.

"No, wait wait, honey!" said Hope, pulling on his wand hand.

"What?!"

"The moon's gone down, Remus was there too, I saw him!" she said, her eyes wide.

"Are you sure?" he asked and she nodded.

"Do you mean the other boy is a werewolf too?" asked Lyall.

"I don't know, but Remus wasn't hurt, he-"

Lyall nodded and cautiously unlocked the door and opened it again, and they were astonished. Remus was lying on the bed, and the large, black animal was standing over him. They blinked and strained their eyes to see, the animal wasn't a wolf, it looked more like a dog. Hope watched as the dog licked Remus' face gently, and her eyes travelled down to where Remus was holding onto the dog's front leg tightly. The sight felt unnatural and perverted in a way, and Hope felt a little nauseous. She moved forward to drive the dog away, but her husband stopped her. Then they stood there looking at the two of them for a few moments, and then closed the door.  
"Lyall, what on Earth! Why did you stop me?! Where did that dog come from?" she asked.

Lyall realised what was going on. The boy was an animagus. He explained to Hope that werewolves were only a threat to humans, not to animals.

"Wait, are you saying that, that dog might be the boy from earlier?" she asked.

"Maybe."

She stood there, blinking at her husband. "Nothing surprises me anymore," she said. Then she chuckled.

"What is it?" Lyall asked her.

"At least someone knows what they're doing," she said, and Lyall also chuckled.

"Honestly, I'm sort of relieved," he said, surprising his wife.

But she nodded. "I know what you mean, he can take care of Remus better than we ever could," she said.


	64. Tanning

Sirius transformed back to human form and sat down next to a sleeping Remus. He had to go back, otherwise the Potters would realise he was missing.  
 _James must have found it difficult to cover for me._  
He bent down and kissed Remus on the forehead. "Bye Moony, I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered and left the room, cautiously shutting the basement door behind him. He walked up the corridor and saw Hope sitting on the couch, trying to read a magazine. He saw her look up at him with wonder. He thought he better explain himself, and sat down opposite her.

"You saw me as the dog," he said awkwardly.

She nodded. The she realised something. "Padfoot," she said and Sirius grinned.

"Yeah."

She nodded again. "Yes. Lyall said that there's no problem with animals," she said.

"Yeah."

Hope wanted to do something for this wonderful boy, but didn't know what. "Would you like some coffee?" she asked him.

"I'd love some, thank you!" he said, smiling.

 _He's such a good-looking boy._ The Lupins had an open kitchen, so he sat at the counter and watched everything she did. He saw that she made the coffee from scratch. Beans, powder, milk and sugar, the whole deal, in a totally muggle way. He thought it was kind of graceful.

"Is that what they call a blender?" he asked her enthusiastically, and she chuckled.

"Well, no, a blender is usually used to blend liquids together, you can make soups or smoothies with them," she explained. "This is a coffee bean grinder, it is more powerful as it grinds hard solids to powder. See?" She tilted the grinder so he could see. The beans had been ground into a powder.

"Fascinating!" he said, and she grinned. "Although I don't know what a smoothie is."

"You've never had a smoothie before?!" she asked, shocked. "Well, we have to change that as soon as possible!"

Sirius laughed. As they were talking, Sirius didn't see Lyall walk past him and out the door. He only looked around when he heard a voice from the front garden. See you in the evening, Hope!" they heard Lyall say from the front yard and then a pop from his disapparation.

Lyall had only seen the kid from behind, and he noticed that his hair was the same colour as the dog's fur. He had forbidden Hope from telling him the boy's name. He decided he did not want to know. If he knew, he'd have to report him to the Ministry. But the boy was helping Remus, so he would never tell.

"Here you go," she said, handing Sirius a cup of fresh coffee.

Sirius took the cup from her. "Thanks."

Then both sat down at the counter and Sirius took a sip. "Wow this coffee is so good! The best I ever had!"

"I'm glad you like it," she said. "So, Sirius, right?" and he nodded.

"Like the star," he said. "Almost everyone in my family is named after stars or constellations, it's kind of a tradition."

"That's nice. So where do you live?" Sirius took his time sipping some coffee, and then he replied, "Er, Central London… but I'm at James' for the remainder of the holidays!"

She smiled. "Yes, you said."

"Thank you for letting me stay over last night, I know that must have... been weird…" he said, smiling awkwardly.

She smiled at him. "Well…"she began, and then she didn't know how to put in words, what she was feeling. Sirius assumed she didn't like it.

"I'm sorry, if I've overstepped. I guess I should probably get going," he said, standing up.

"No, you haven't," she said. He looked at her, still feeling guilty.

"It's just that we were surprised," she continued. "Remus never told us that you help him." She scratched her forehead awkwardly. "And to be honest, I'm just glad you're there for him."

Sirius smiled at her. "It's more like, he's there for us. He tolerates _me_.. I don't know how he does it!" he told her, and she laughed.

"So, is it alright if we come back to visit him?" he asked her.

"Yes. of course. I think he'll like that very much." she said. "And then I can make you smoothies."

Sirius chuckled. "Thank you Mrs. Lupin," he told her. "And thanks for the coffee," he said, walking over to the fireplace.

"Floo powder is in the pot up there," she said, pointing at a small ceramic pot. _Phew, I'm glad we replaced the powder._

"Bye, Mrs. Lupin," he said, throwing a pinch on the fire.

"Bye, Sirius."

Sirius crawled out through the fireplace in the Potters' parlour, grinning to himself. It had all gone better than anyone had expected. _Remus was unnecessarily worried. As he always is. Glad I remembered to keep elbows tucked in today._

" _Hello, Sirius_ ," someone said, and he slowly looked up. Mia was standing there, with her hands folded. She looked cross.

Sirius grinned at her sheepishly. "Heyyyy... Mrs. Potter... lovely morning, isn't it?"

Mia narrowed her eyes at him. "You know, Sirius, I'm the kind of person who likes to make sure everyone in this house is comfortable. So you can imagine my _shock_ and _dread_ when I went to your room to check on you, and the lump on your bed was just anthropomorphic pillows," she said, and Sirius realised that James must have placed those pillows there.

"Er, yeah, I just wanted to see Remus before his transformation, and then I stayed back," said Sirius.

Mia nodded crossly. "You didn't think to tell me?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd go and check on me," he said guiltily.

"I thought you'd been kidnapped or something!"

"Sorry, I'm so sorry!" said Sirius, realising the gravity of his mistake.

"Get up," said Mia, grabbing his ear and pulling him up. "Get up, Sirius, you're in a huge amount of trouble."

"Ow, Mrs. Potter! Ow!" Sirius exclaimed, scrambling up quickly.

She led him out of the parlour until the foot of the stairs. "Go and take a shower, you smell kind of weird. And come down for breakfast soon, Jani's making French Toast."

Sirius smiled at her. If he had done something like this at his own house, his mother would've used a dark spell on him again, like the one which makes cuts on the skin, but won't heal until hours later. He felt his arms throb painfully at that very thought, and immediately checked his arms. They were perfectly fine.

"What's wrong?" Mia asked him, looking curiously at his arms.

"Nothing at all," he said and ran up the stairs.

Hope came back from her meeting at the community centre, and she was thinking about what to make for dinner tonight, when she heard the front door open.

"You're home early today!" she said as Lyall entered.

"Yes, I wanted to see how Remus was doing," he told her.

"He's not up yet. I went to wake him up earlier, but he wouldn't. Lyall, he has almost no wounds other than a few scratches, you know," she said, smiling at him. He looked at her and nodded. They knew it was because Sirius had been there.

"Let's go check on him," said Lyall, dumping his briefcase and coat on the couch.

They went down the stairs to the basement, opened the door, and walked in.

Hope sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on his forehead. "Remus, dear?" she said, gently.

He opened his eyes slowly, and blinked a few times, trying to focus his eyes. _Where is he?_ "Where's Sirius?" he asked, a bit hoarsely.

"He went back to James'. He said he'd be back to visit, though," said his mother, smiling at him. Remus frowned at her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Remus ignored the question. "Why did he leave without telling me?" he asked crossly.

"You were probably sleeping, honey," Hope explained. Remus pouted and Hope chuckled at him.

"Remus, your mother asked you a question," said Lyall.

Remus stared at him. He wished they would just leave him alone. "I'm okay," he told them. Then he realised that he would have to explain about last night. "Er," he said.

"You don't have to explain anything, love," Hope told him.

"I do," he said. "When Sirius, James and Peter figured everything out in first year, they thought they should do something to help me, so Sirius-"

"And they didn't tell anyone?" asked Lyall, in a tone that told Remus that he didn't believe it.

"Why? _You_ don't believe that I may have been able to find trustworthy friends, do you?" he said, annoyed again.

"Don't talk to me like that!" said Lyall.

"Then why would you ask me that?" Remus said, sitting up angrily.

"It was a simple question, Remus-" said Hope.

"You just don't believe that I could ever have a normal life with normal friends," Remus said loudly.

"I never said that. Where is all this coming from?" Lyall asked his son.

"It's been there all along. I'm only doing the best I can, but you sometimes say these things, like you think I'm doomed to misery forever!" said Remus angrily.

"I am _only_ trying to be realistic! And I must also say, this Sirius boy seems to be a bad influence on you," said Lyall.

To say Remus was offended was an understatement. He glared at his father.

"Lyall! What are you saying?" asked Hope, puzzled.

"Look at how he's talking to us! No respect at all!" said Lyall, glaring back at his son.

Remus stood up. "That is not Sirius' fault!" he said, but he felt dizzy, and held the wall for support.

"Lyall, stop it! Can't you see, he's still weak?" said Hope, pushing Remus back onto his bed.

"You will not be allowed out of this house for the rest of the holidays," said Lyall drily. He wouldn't tolerate this kind of insubordination.

"I'm sorry, what?! I'm being grounded? This is the first summer I've been able to spend time with Sirius. _He's_ never been allowed out of the house before!" Remus said, not believing his ears.

"I know that. And the only reason he can now, is because he ran away from home, didn't he? I wrote to Monty, and he told me Sirius was not living at home anymore due to family disagreements," said Lyall meanly, turning to Hope.

Remus was shocked. _How can he be this unkind?_

"He did tell me he was at James' for the rest of the holidays," said Hope.

Remus looked at his mother, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Remus, what-" his mother began, but he shook his head, looking away again. "Honey?" she said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"If you found out that I was seeing a boy, would you beat me up till my ribs cracked?" he asked, looking up at both of them.

"What! Why would you say that?!" said his mother.

"Of course not!" said his father.

"Because that's what happened to Sirius. Don't call it a _bloody disagreement_!" said Remus.

They were horrified. They looked at each other. "I'm so sorry, honey!" said his mother.

Remus looked at the floor angrily. "You judged him," he said furiously.

"I had no idea, son," said Lyall.

"Exactly. You don't even know him. All Sirius has ever done, is encourage me to be myself. Can't I even tell my own parents how I'm feeling?" Remus asked them.

"Of course you can!" said Hope.

"Yeah, and now, you're punishing me for it," he said.

Lyall blinked.

Remus-" Hope began, but Remus lay down on his bed, turning his back on them.

"Go away. Just leave me alone," he said stubbornly.

Hope scowled at Lyall and marched out of the room. Lyall looked at Remus sadly, and walked out, shutting the door. He found her in the kitchen. "Hope-"

She wheeled around. "You always do this!" she said heatedly.

Lyall sighed. "You're right," he said. "I shouldn't have said any of that, I just-"

She put her hand on his cheek. "Next time, why don't you simply _ask_ him what happened, instead of jumping to conclusions?" she said.

He nodded at her. "I don't like seeing him upset. He has to already deal with so much, and now, this!" he said.

"Oh, don't worry. Maybe you can talk to him again, later, when he's had a chance to calm down?" she said.

"No, I'll probably end up making him more upset," he said, shaking his head.

"These things need to be resolved, darling. Especially between father and son."

"Hey Sirius," said James. He was bored of watching Sirius clean the already spotless bike.

"Huh?" Sirius said, wiping the mirror for the fourth time.

"Padfoot?"

"What is it?" Sirius asked, blowing a speck of dust off the seat.

"The one with pads on his foots," said James.

"What, James?!" said Sirius, finally turning around. James was standing there, wearing just a pair of shorts. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going tanning," James replied.

"The muggle activity where you just lay in the sun and get brown?" asked Sirius excitedly. Five minutes later, the two of them lay on the grass in the front lawn, attempting to tan.  
Then Sirius told James what happened at Remus'. "We were expecting them to come kick me out any second, but it never happened. Either she forgot, or they somehow, already knew I was an animagus..." he was saying.

"And she knew you were his boyfriend, so-"

"She does not!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Padfoot, you showed up in her living room, demanding to see him and spent the night in his room, at full moon. Of course she knew!" said James, laughing. "And that's how parents are, Sirius. They help you solve your problems, and they know everything." he added.

They smiled at each other. "It's nice, having all these parents around me," he said. James laughed.

That night, when Sirius went to bed, he felt content after ages. _I'm with James, Moony is alright, Peter will be back soon._ He closed his eyes and slept peacefully.

 _But now he was 12 again. She was standing there, holding her wand, and she looked livid. "Look mother, that was not what I meant. I said it's okay if. I was just telling him how the Sorting Hat works, is all!"_

 _"I know, I heard what you said the first time!" she shouted. "Do you want to be punished?_

 _"No, I don't. And I don't see why-"_

 _"Beg, Sirius." she said._

 _"Pardon?"_

 _"I said beg, Sirius. Accept that what you were doing was wrong, and beg to me for forgiveness," she said._

 _"But mother, why is that wrong? Why-"_

 _She waved her wand and Sirius felt an invisible slap across his face. Regulus stood in a corner, crying._

 _"No please! Okay, I'm sorry," Sirius yelled, as she raised her wand again._

 _"Hmmm," she said, lowering her wand again. Then she raised it again. "You don't sound repentant enough." Then_ _he saw her mouth move again, and then it was like he was being dipped in a cauldron of pain. It was all around him, and inside him at the same time._

"AAAAAAAARGH!" he shouted, and even the scream felt surreal. Like it was coming from two places at once.

"Sirius? SIRIUS!" a voice said. He knew that voice. But he couldn't see where it was coming from. He couldn't breathe.

"Sirius! Open your eyes!" said the voice. _What? What eyes?_ His eyes were open. He could see Regulus crying. _No, please don't cry. Don't cry! Oh, why did I have to start this? It's all my fault!_

"Sirius. It's me, James! Open your eyes, Sirius! Padfoot!" said the voice.

 _James. Yes._ Sirius opened his eyes and saw James' face. Even though he was taking deep breaths, he felt like the oxygen wasn't reaching his lungs. He coughed, and sat up.

Suddenly the door opened and James' parents ran in. Sirius saw them, they were looking at him, but it was like they weren't there at all. Like he knew they were there, but his brain couldn't acknowledge their presence.

"Sirius? Speak!" said James, shaking him. Then it all came back to him. The nightmare and the devastation it brought with it. He burst into tears.

James pulled Sirius' head close to him in a hug. "Sirius, it's okay, mate."

Sirius couldn't bear feeling that ugly feeling all over again. That 'death is better than this' feeling. He held onto James. James felt real. He couldn't stop crying, but hugging James felt good. Like it was pushing that ugly feeling away.

"Sirius, it's okay. You're okay," James kept saying.

"When will this stop?" he asked James, sobbing.

"One day it will. _It will_." said James, looking sadly at his parents.

Slowly he stopped crying. He took a deep breath, let go of James and wiped his eyes. He was panting, like he had just run half a mile.

"I'm sorry everyone. I… " and his eyes filled with tears again. He didn't like being weepy. "I'm sorry I woke you all up," he said looking around at them.

"It's okay! We all get nightmares sometimes," said Monty. They both sat down on the bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked him.

Sirius grimaced. "I don't want to make you sad," he said.

"This is what he says every time!" James said to his parents.

"Sirius, honey, talking about these things is important for your mental health," said Mia. "You don't have to worry about making us sad. If you tell us, then you may feel a little better."

James put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius nodded and started talking. "Just before Regulus came to Hogwarts, I was telling him how the Sorting hat works..." and he told them the whole story. "It really felt like I was twelve years old again, and it really felt like she was cursing me again," he said, and he started crying again.

James was disgusted. "Your mother is medically insane," he said.

"I know," Sirius mumbled. "What I don't understand is, why I'm reliving these things over and over again, it's killing me! Sometimes I feel like I've become this haunted, empty shell of a human being! I didn't used to be like this, James, I was hopeful before, I was- I was... _sane."_

James wanted to shout at him, tell him he wasn't insane. That he wasn't crazy like his parents. But he knew that wasn't what Sirius wanted to hear just then. He understood what Sirius was trying to tell him.

"You know, there were many occasions when I was younger, like in the dream, where I thought I had done something wrong, and I used to _keep_ wondering what I could do to make things right... what I could do, to make them _love_ me again," Sirius went on, and James' eyes filled with tears when he heard that. "But it never happened. They were never happy! And eventually, as I grew older, I just gave up and started doing what I thought was right, and accepted whatever punishment they doled out. But, that didn't mean I didn't keep second-guessing myself."

"Ah, see that's where the problem began," said Monty.

"Huh?"

"Sirius, you have an inherent compulsive need to see those closest to you, happy," said Monty. "And I can see where that need comes from, it comes from that powerlessness you felt as a child. That helplessness you felt so early on... when you couldn't make them happy, no matter how hard you tried."

Sirius nodded.

"But Sirius, it wasn't your fault, do you realise that?" asked Monty.

"At the time, I didn't. I didn't know, but now I do," said Sirius.

"No, I don't think you do, I mean actually. I think you're still carrying around that guilt of not being able to behave for your parents," Monty told him directly.

Sirius blinked at him.

"Look, even that is not your fault, you've been trained to suppress your emotions. Sirius, you need to first recognise your true emotions. Acknowledge them, only then can you give yourself a chance to resolve them and establish any kind of reconciliation with yourself," Monty told him.

"What? I didn't understand, reconciliation with myself?" Sirius asked him.

Monty nodded. "Yes, reconciliation. Between your conscious and subconscious minds," he said. "Your subconscious is the one carrying all this unprocessed emotion around, all this anger, shame, denial, low self-worth. And to process it all, it needs to bring it all to the surface, to the conscious mind, hence the nightmares... the only way it knows how."

"Oh," said Sirius, and he and James exchanged glances.

"See, try not to see the nightmares as a battlefield," Monty told him. "Like I said, they're only messages from your subconscious."

Sirius nodded.

"Messages containing complex emotional problems," said Monty. "You need to try and deconstruct them, find the true emotion behind each message and thus, you'll be breaking them down into solvable problems. It won't be easy, I'm not saying it is. It will be messy too."

"Yes, it will be messy, but life _is_ the messy bits," said Mia, and finally, Sirius gave her a small smile.

"The human brain is far more powerful than we can ever realise, Sirius, it cannot be completely annexed by the bad things," said Monty. "You don't have to keep living, dictated by the bad things that have happened to you. They can be conquered."

"Yes," said Mia. "You said you were once hopeful. I'm telling you, Sirius, it's possible to become that person again. Brick by brick, you _will_ be able to put your life back together, and it will be _so_ worth it. All you need is some faith in yourself. And patience."

Sirius nodded, but with purpose this time. He already felt hopeful. He was ready for this challenge. Mia smiled. "Call us if you need anything," she said to James, and Monty and Mia got to their feet and left the room, shutting the door silently, so as not to disturb the hopeful vibe.

"I wish Moony had been here, he'd have remembered all of this better than us," said Sirius, smiling at James.

"They'll happily repeat it a hundred times if you asked them," said James, smiling back at him.

"Thank you, James. For everything."

"I know. You don't have to say it."


	65. Birds and the Bees

James came downstairs and saw Mr. Lupin in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea. "Mr. Lupin, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine, son. What have you boys been up to, so far?" asked Lyall.

"Nothing major, we might go to the beach next week, but we are mostly just waiting for Peter to come back from his holiday," said James, grinning. "He wrote saying he'd be back yesterday, but nothing so far."

Lyall laughed. "Have you boys finished your summer homework?"

"Er, not yet," said James, smiling guiltily.

"Well, you could be doing that while you wait, instead of... what are you boys doing upstairs anyway?" Lyall asked.

"We're paying Ludo," said James. Lyall raised his eyebrows pointedly at him. "Right," said James. He could see where Remus got his work ethic from.

"Is Remus upstairs? I need a word," Lyall asked, and James nodded.

Upstairs, Sirius lay down on the carpet on his back and stretched luxuriously. Remus looked at the sliver of skin visible under the t-shirt. "Wait a second," he said, poking him in the stomach. Sirius giggled. "You said you got so brown because you were walking around in the farmers' market all day. Were you also shirtless?"

Sirius sighed. "Fine, we did the tanning... how do you say it? We were tanning? We tanned?"

Remus slowly smiled. "As in, you lay in the sun-"

"Yes, Moony, yes," said Sirius. Remus started laughing. "Don't laugh, Moony, you're hurting my feelings."

"You did the tanning!" said Remus and laughed again.

Lyall finished his tea and climbed up the stairs to Remus' room. The door was open, and as he approached, he heard laughter. Remus' laughter. He looked in and saw his son chortling away happily. It had been years since Lyall had seen Remus so happy and carefree. He remembered that lake trip they had taken in the summer of '64. Remus had laughed exactly like this when he had picked him up to throw him in the water.

"Don't laaaaugh," said Sirius and kicked Remus lightly.

Remus looked up at Lyall, "Hey dad," he said.

Sirius sat up and smiled at him. _I hope he didn't see me kicking his son._

"Dad, this is Sirius Black," said Remus.

"Hello Sir," said Sirius, smiling again.

Lyall blinked at Sirius in apprehension. _Oh God, Black?! As in, the Noble and Most Ancient Family of Black?!_ _Wait, now that I know who he is, he does look a bit like Cygnus..._

Sirius stopped smiling. He had dealt with these kind of reactions his whole life, but it especially didn't feel good when it was Remus' father. He and Remus exchanged glances.

"Er, _dad_..." said Remus in a low voice.

"Oh yes, hello," said Lyall, a bit awkwardly. "Are you Cygnus' son?"

"No, he's my uncle," said Sirius. "Do you know him?"

"We were friends at Hogwarts... and later on too, but we drifted apart," said Lyall.

Sirius nodded, he was almost sure his uncle had abandoned his friend, the moment he found out he was marrying a muggle.

"So, your parents...?" said Lyall.

Sirius hesitated. If Lyall knew his uncle, he must have known his parents too, and then he'd find out that his parents, who were actually second cousins, had married each other.

"Did you need something, dad?" asked Remus, in an attempt to change the topic.

"Well," said Lyall. He had completely forgotten why he had come up there. His eyes flicked curiously to Sirius again, making him a little nervous. Then they heard footsteps behind him, and Lyall turned around to see James carefully carrying three smoothies up the stairs.

"Use a tray next time, James!" Lyall said and chuckled, and Sirius was grateful for the distraction. _Prongs, thanks!_

"Will do, you're right!" said James. Lyall watched him walk over to other two and give them their glasses. "One special strawberry smoothie for Sirius," said James, handing him a glass.

"She made them already? But I wanted to see how she makes them," said Sirius, drinking from the glass, even though there was a straw.

"Drink through the straw, you scatterbrain, that's what it's for," said James, hitting him on the head.

"Straw? What, this thing? You drink through it?" asked Sirius, taking the straw out of the drink and looking at it. Then he looked through it at the other two, who exchanged glances and laughed at him.

"Of course Sirius has never seen a straw before," said Remus, laughing at him again. Lyall smiled to himself and he went back downstairs.

"I thought they were for decoration, like one of those umbrella things," he heard Sirius say as he climbed down.

"I've just had the pleasure of officially meeting Sirius _Black_ , upstairs," he told Hope awkwardly.

"Yes, well, you couldn't have kept dodging our son's boyfriend all summer," she replied.

"Boyfriend?!" exclaimed Lyall. "Are you sure?"

"No, I'm about eighty three percent sure," joked Hope, grinning. Lyall frowned. "Oh, what now? Did you know the Blacks at school or something?" she asked him.

Lyall scratched his beard. "I knew his uncle, remember that old friend of mine I told you about, Cygnus?"

"Cygnus is Sirius' uncle? The one who didn't want anything to do with us because I'm not a witch?" she asked, and Lyall nodded.

"Well, we can't judge the whole family based on one person, right?" said Hope, and Lyall looked at her dubiously. "Lyall, don't make that face, I don't want to hear another prejudiced-"

"No, no, you don't understand, Hope, the Blacks are really into Dark arts!" Lyall told her, lowering his voice.

"What are the Dark Arts?" she asked. "Remus always says he loves Defence Against the Dark Arts, but I never did understand what they are, exactly."

"Dark Arts are ancient forbidden magic that common people aren't supposed to practice, like illegal spells that you could be jailed for using," he explained. "They take an intense toll even on the caster. Even at the Ministry, research on Dark Arts is highly regulated, and is only done by those Unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries, I told you about."

"Oh," said Hope seriously.

"Yeah, the only people who practice Dark Arts these days are these old Pureblood families that think they're above the law," he said, nodding his head towards the stairs.

"What? What is the Ministry doing about it?" demanded Hope.

"It's really complicated," he said. "Most of the Ministers for Magic come from these families, and almost all the funding also comes from these families. They're all very rich and very powerful."

"Unbelievable."

"If someone drew a pyramid for the most atrocious things done by wizards, the Blacks would be at the top of it," said Lyall.

"Jesus Christ!"

"Come to think of it, I remember my grandma telling me stories about one Sirius Black-"

"Lyall, listen-"

"And this one's _named_ after that one! I'm telling you, Hope, if my grandma were still alive, she'd tell you stories about the Blacks and the other nasty families that'd make your ears fall off!" Lyall went on. "In fact-"

"Lyall, wait!" said Hope, gesturing with her hands. "Just wait. I understand your concerns, but before we get carried away, we should at least think about this, the Potters won't bring him into their house if he was _so_ bad, would they?"

Lyall paused. "Hmm, no, they wouldn't," he replied.

"Exactly. And we know why he ran away from home, don't we? Clearly, he doesn't think like his family," said Hope.

"You could be right, there's never been a Black that has run away from home before, as far as I know. _And_ , I've never heard of a Black being sorted into Gryffindor before either, that's also a first," said Lyall.

"Yeah," said Hope, nodding, even though she felt like people seemed to place too much emphasis on House traits at Hogwarts. _I mean, how could it be that absolute?_ _I guess it could be cos it's magic, after all._  
"And there's also the fact that Remus trusts him," she said, raising her eyebrows at Lyall when he glanced at her. "We have to give some credit to Remus' sense of judgement, Lyall. I mean, he's not a silly boy," she continued.

"I agree he's not a silly little boy, but you saw the way he was talking to us the other day, right?" said Lyall.

"That's how all teenagers talk, Lyall! They're... passionate, it's that age."

"It's not that, I feel like he trusts him a bit too much... and I'm afraid he'll come to regret it," said Lyall, moodily ripping up a paper towel.

Hope smiled at her husband. "Aww, I knew you were always a big softie on the inside!" she said, and gave him a small kiss. "Let's just give him the benefit of doubt, shall we?"

"Yeah, alright," he said, finally.

Upstairs, after Lyall left, Remus looked at the other two. "Did my dad seem weird to you?" he asked.

James shrugged. "I don't know him that well."

"And how should I know, I've only met him today," said Sirius sulkily.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, my dad is- he's- he's just weird, alright?" said Remus. "Maybe it's the Ravenclaw in him... no social skills, only academic skills."

James chuckled.

"If he's weird everyday, that means he was being extra-weird just now, and I know why. The _dark_ reputation of the House of Black precedes it," said Sirius.

"Sirius, don't think so negatively, there's also the fact that he's seen you as Padfoot," said Remus. "He works for the Ministry, it's really awkward for him."

"Are you saying I shouldn't have come?" asked Sirius, looking really hurt.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," said Remus, setting aside his smoothie. "I already told you I'm glad you came."

"So what? Are you saying he's going to lodge a complaint at the Ministry?!" Sirius asked, getting angry.

"No!" said Remus. "I'm just saying he needs some time to get used to all of this, that's all."

Sirius didn't say anything, he still looked mad as he drank his smoothie, forgetting to use the straw again.

"Don't be mad, Padfoot. Please?" said Remus.

"I'm not mad," said Sirius.

"Then don't be sad," said James.

"I'm not sad!" said Sirius, getting annoyed.

"Pads, I _swear_ , the only way dad would tell someone about you being an animagus, is if he was forced to drink some Veritaserum," said Remus.

Sirius looked at Remus. "So he gets it?"

"He does," said Remus.

"Did he tell you that?" James asked Remus.

"Well, no," said Remus. "But I know him."

"How? How do you know that?" asked James, fascinated. "You two don't talk about anything, you don't discuss anything."

"Dad is... how do I explain this?" said Remus. "This is kind of frustrating, not only is he difficult to talk to, he's also difficult to talk _about_. But he's trustworthy, I can say that."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What was that for?" asked Remus.

"Do I need to say it, Moony?" asked Sirius.

"Say what?" asked Remus, perplexed.

"And you say _I'm_ clueless," said James, shaking his head. "I hate to break this to you, Remus, but Sirius hates your dad."

"What? Why?" asked Remus, smiling.

"Oh, I don't know," said Sirius sarcastically. "It may have something to do with provoking that _degenerate_ , Fenrir Greyback."

"Sirius," sighed Remus. Sirius looked away, pouting, and Remus chuckled at him. "You know, mum was telling me yesterday about how she was unable to resist your puppy face," he said. Sirius glanced at Remus, and Remus smiled at him."And you're right, James," he went on. "Dad and I don't really talk about anything at all, you know? Even stuff he's supposed to be telling me."

"Like what?" asked James. Even Sirius looked curious.

"Like, you know, the birds and the bees," said Remus, grinning. "Not that I need him to explain all that, I read."

James and Sirius exchanged looks. "The _birds and the bees_? What is so special about them?" James asked him.

Remus smiled. "Oh, you don't have that expression in the wizarding world? Well, 'the birds and the bees' is basically a euphemism for 'talking about sex'," explained Remus.

"Why birds? And Bees, though? Why?" asked James.

"I don't know... maybe cos bees pollinate flowers?" said Remus, making an awkward face.

"I can see that," said Sirius. "Like make it sound like sex is a very common and natural thing, that it happens in nature."

"Hmm," said James thoughtfully, and Remus was very happy Sirius was participating in the discussion again.

"Listen to this, it happened yesterday afternoon-" Remus began.

"Oh no, don't tell me your dad gave you _the talk_!" said James, horrified, and Sirius closed his ears dramatically.

Remus laughed. "No, that's what I'm saying, aren't I? That dad didn't."

"Your mum did?!" said James, even more horrified.

"Well, she tried to, I don't know why she didn't say anything directly, that would have been better actually," said Remus. "Sex can be talked about, without getting all awkward, by being really technical about it."

"Technical?" asked Sirius, grinning.

"Yeah, you know, be very direct, the way a healer talks about the body," said Remus. "Hmm, maybe they told her to do it in that convoluted way at church."

"Church? People talk about sex at church?" asked Sirius, amazed.

"No, they talk about not cheating on your partners, which is good," said Remus.

"Ah," said Sirius. "That is a good thing."

"Yeah, so yesterday after lunch, I was just lying on my bed, thinking about taking a little nap, when mum came in and lay down beside me," said Remus. "She was like, 'So, Remus, tell me, is Sirius your boyfriend?'"

James and Sirius laughed loudly.

"What did you say?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing, I was so surprised," said Remus. "And then she went, 'You're not immediately denying it, so I'm taking it as a yes'."

James and Sirius laughed again.

"Then she started talking about how she loves her name, and that there's a poem by this muggle guy called Samuel Taylor Coleridge, called _Work without Hope,_ " said Remus, smiling at their puzzled faces. "She said the poem talks about animals in nature, like slugs, birds, bees..."

"Ooooh," said Sirius and James at the same time.

"Yeah, you get it now," said Remus. "But I didn't." The other two chuckled at him. "I kept thinking it was just random, until just before dinner, she called me down to sit, and slid this pamphlet across the counter."

"Oh no, was it a pamphlet from her church?" asked James.

"No, it was from the community centre. I read a little, it was all about _abstinence,_ " said Remus, grinning at Sirius.

"No way," said Sirius and Remus chuckled.

"And I gave it back to her, but she told me to read on, so I had to read the whole thing," said Remus. "She said she knew it was all about straight-people sex, and told me that the same rules apply to everybody... and then she apologised to me, and said that we'd all become old expecting my dad to talk to me about this, so she had to do it."

"Wow," said James.

"Hmm, can't say that was awkward, but it was something that you guys had to get over with," said Sirius, nodding.

James laughed.

"What are you laughing at? Your talk is coming, you just wait," Remus told him.

"Don't curse me, Moony!" said James worriedly. "And they say werewolf curses come true."

Remus smiled. "It'll come when you least expect it," said Remus, grinning.

"You're evil, Moony, you know that?" said James woefully.

"At least I don't have to worry about such things," said Sirius.

"You're joking, right?" said James. "If I'm getting the talk, so are you!"

"Nooo!" said Sirius. "Why ever did I move in with you?!"

"Stop being such a drama queen, at least it'll be Mr. Potter for you," said Remus.

James made a face. "I actually don't want to talk about this until it happens."

"Yeah, good plan," said Sirius.

Remus smiled at them. Then his eyebrows creased as he heard a noise downstairs.

A chubby boy tumbled out of the fireplace, and Lyall and Hope, who had been snogging, broke apart quickly. He looked around, spotted the Lupins and hurriedly got to his feet and dusted the soot off his clothes. "Hello, I'm Peter," he said, walking up to them. His face was pink from travelling through the floo, and he had a black spot on his nose from the soot. The Lupins thought he looked adorable, he reminded them of Giant Pandas.

Lyall grinned and shook his hand. "Lyall Lupin, Remus' dad," he said.

"I'm Hope," said Hope. "Remus' mother."

"Very nice to meet you," said Peter, shaking her hand enthusiastically. "I love your brownies."

Hope chuckled. "I have also heard a lot about you."

"The boys are upstairs in Remus' room," said Lyall, pointing to the stairs.

"Are they? Oh, good," said Peter, talking very fast. "We arrived back very late last night, from Transylvania, that is, that's where we were, mum and I. Then mum was saying that the Potters would be asleep and it would be rude to wake them up, so I had to wait. Then I couldn't sleep, cos I was so excited, but then I did fall asleep, and I only woke up now. And I yelled at mum about why she didn't wake me up before, and she said she thought I might still be tired from the journey, which wasn't true, all I did was sit in the train for hours and hours, and then-"

"Whoa, Peter, slow down," said Hope. "Breathe. Would you like a glass of water?"

Peter took a deep breath. "Yes, please." Hope gave him a glass of water.

"Peter's back, he's downstairs," said Remus, and they all jumped up.

"Wait!" exclaimed Sirius. "When do we tell Peter about us? I feel guilty about him not knowing."

"I have no idea," said Remus, looking at James.

"Perhaps you should wait for the right time," said James. "To explain properly, you know."

The others nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, let's go!" said Sirius, and they all ran out to the landing. "Peter!"

Peter looked up, drinking the water. He waved with his other hand.

"Wormtail!" shouted James, and the three of them ran down the stairs. Peter increased the velocity of his water-drinking and hurriedly handed the glass back to Mrs. Lupin. She looked concerned as Peter looked like he was bracing for impact.

The three Marauders fell on him and he hit the floor painfully. "We missed you, Pete!"

"Wormy! Your hug is as cosy as ever!"

"Fucking finally!"

"Been waiting for- _ever_!"

Hope and Lyall laughed at them.

"Can we get up, now? I may have broken my femur, you and your knobbly knees, James," said Peter in a low voice and James laughed.

"Sorry," he said, rolling off of Peter.

"I think I did hear a small pop," said Sirius, sitting up.

"Oh, that may have actually been that liquorice wand in my pocket, snapping in two," said Peter.

"Ah."

"We all have to go back to your house, James," said Peter excitedly. "Jani and Tally are preparing a feast for us!"

"Excellent!" said James.

"Remus, you're grounded," said Hope.

"What! Why?!" shouted everyone and Hope covered her ears.

"Because he said a swear word," she told them in a strict voice. "That makes a total of eleven swear words this week, and ten was the limit."

"That's the least amount of swear words he has ever used, he uses more than ten in a single _day_ ," said Sirius, frowning.

"Yeah, Remus swears all the time, this shouldn't be a surprise to _you_ ," said Peter, astonished.

"It isn't," she said, folding her arms. "That's why I'm trying to control it."

"It'll be in vain, even the teachers have stopped telling him off," said James, grinning.

"I know, I've received a number of letters from your head of house over the years," said Hope, looking angrily at Remus. He looked completely unapologetic, almost bored even. "And that's why I'm grounding him!"

"You can't be serious!" said Sirius, thinking she was being serious.

"I'm not serious, you are," she said, and Sirius grinned.

"Moony, I _love_ her," he said to Remus and everyone laughed.

"I thought I was already grounded anyway," said Remus, slowly getting to his feet.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Lupin, let him come with us," said James. Lyall folded his arms sternly.

"Yeah, the feast!" said Peter emphatically.

"Hmm," said Lyall, pretending to think. "Well, okay, since you are all insisting so much."

The other three cheered, but Sirius said, "Sure." He thought he had said it in a quiet voice, but everyone heard it. Everyone looked at him.

"What was that?" asked Lyall.

Remus looked at Sirius with trepidation. _What is he going to say?!_

"I said 'sure'," said Sirius, looking directly at Lyall, as if daring him to withdraw the permission. But Lyall couldn't and Sirius knew it. He also knew that Lyall had already decided to allow Remus to go to James', even before they had come downstairs.

Lyall considered Sirius. _Hmm, very cocky._ The other three couldn't believe he had said that. Remus put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "He's just joking, dad," he said.

"Alright, go on," said Lyall. "But be back in two days."

"Thanks, dad," said Remus.

"Lyall nodded, and the Marauders ran up to Remus' room so he could pack his overnight bag.

"Sirius, what is wrong with you?" James chided. "What if he didn't allow him to go anymore?"

"He can't do that," said Sirius.

"And what makes you so confident?" asked Remus.

"You said it yourself, he's trustworthy," Sirius replied.

"He's also temperamental," Remus reminded him.

Sirius grinned. "He won't be in front of me," he said.

"Can't you give him a break? He allowed me to go, didn't he?" said Remus.

"It's truly a miraculous day!" said Sirius sarcastically again, and Remus huffed vexedly. "Reminds me of the time, father brought me some biscuits to eat when I was locked in a cage for eleven hours. It was a miracle that day as well," said Sirius, nodding. He meant it as an example, but the others looked aghast.


	66. Newton's Laws

**Author's note: Sorry for not uploading yesterday, I'm taking a Spanish course, and I had a test. I did well :) :)  
** **Al capítulo ahora xx**

* * *

"Oh, don't make that face, Moony, you know I hate it," said Sirius.

"Excuse me! This is the appropriate face to make when you find out someone was locked in a cage!" exclaimed Remus, pointing at his outraged face.

"We are _shocked_ , Sirius," said James. "Whether at the cage thing, or at the casual way you mentioned it, I am not yet sure!"

"Why were you locked in a cage?" asked Peter sadly.

Sirius took a deep breath. "When I was about seven, my father had this huge green python-like creature in a cage. Right in the drawing room. Regulus was only five at the time, but he knew I hated the thing, so he decided that he would set it free. He opened the door of the cage, and the thing just shot out!" Sirius told them.

"Oh Merlin!" yelped Peter.

"We screamed and ran out the door. Later, no one could find it. It had slithered off to some warm corner of the house. Father was pretty mad, but he didn't do anything other than yell at us to find the snake, or whatever it was. But mother was beside herself, I think she hated it too."

"What did she do?" asked James angrily.

"Kreacher finally found it, but she was still really mad. I knew she would punish Reggie for letting it out, so I told her it was actually me," he continued.

Remus gasped.

Sirius looked at his feet. "She locked me in the cage, _with it_ for hours. At first, the thing didn't want anything to do with me, we just sat at opposite corners, staring at each other. But after a while, I think it started to get hungry, it came and twisted itself around me in huge coils. It was going to kill me-"

"Great Godric!" said Peter, horrified.

"It didn't though. Obviously. I screamed and yelled, and father finally got me out of there. Regulus cried and cried until he agreed to get rid of it the next day," he said and smirked at them. "Mother called him ' _dramatic_ ',"

"I'm really sorry, Sirius. I'm sorry you had to go through that," said Remus.

But Sirius just smiled and shook his head. "It happened so long ago, it's just a funny story now. No big deal. I just wanted to tell you guys," he said.

"Well, I'm glad you did," said James.

"You're sharing stuff, that's an improvement," said Peter. "How did that come to happen?" he asked, turning to James.

"Mum and dad gave him a lecture," said James.

"Excellent," said Peter, grinning at Sirius.

"Are you done packing?" James asked Remus.

"Yep."

The Marauders all trooped down the stairs and everyone gathered around the fireplace. Sirius picked his helmet off the counter and handed it to Remus. "Come on, I brought my bike," he said.

"Your bike's ready?" asked Peter excitedly.

"Yeah!" said Sirius happily.

"Now, wait, you're going on the motorbike?" Hope worriedly asked Remus.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Lupin, Sirius is an excellent driver," said James, grinning at him. _He didn't kill anyone even when we were being chased by three death eaters._

"Yeah, go ahead, James, we'll be there in twenty minutes," said Sirius. Then he glanced at Hope's face. "Half an hour."

James nodded. He and Peter walked into the emerald flames one after the other and reached the Potter estate in half a minute. "So, Prongs, tell me everything that happened over the past two weeks, I get the feeling I've missed a lot," said Peter, as they both walked to the dining room.

"You did. You know how I wrote to you, saying Sirius is living with us now?" asked James.

"Yeah?"

James told Peter everything that happened, except about Sirius' and Remus' relationship.

" _They wanted him to get married to a stranger?!_ " asked Peter, horrified.

"I know. Oh, and also, Remus' parents know Sirius an animagus," James told him.

"What!"

Hope followed Remus and Sirius out into the front yard. Sirius put his leg over the huge bike and the key in the ignition. Remus got on to it behind him.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Lupin, I'll drive safely, and I'll follow all the road rules," Sirius assured her, kick-starting the bike.

"Okay then, have fun, Remus," she said.

"You don't have to tell me twice, mum," he replied, chuckling. He felt too shy to put his arms around Sirius in front of his mother, he just put a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius slowly let out the clutch lever and the bike moved forward. "Bye Mrs. Lupin, thanks for the smoothie, it was delectable."

"Your welc- Oh!" Hope exclaimed. Sirius had accelerated minutely but suddenly, the force pushed Remus backwards in his seat, and he had to grab on to Sirius' waist with both hands to avoid falling.

Sirius laughed and drove away, and Hope shook her head exasperatedly. _He did that on purpose, the little devil!_

"Quite the handful, that Sirius Black, isn't he?" said Lyall from behind her, and she turned around and smiled at him.

"Yes, I have no idea how Mia is going to manage all _four_ of them," she said.

"Having a bigger house must definitely help," said Lyall, walking back into the house with his wife.

"Do you know why that happens? Why the rider is pushed back when the bike accelerates?" Hope asked her husband.

"Why?" Lyall asked interestedly. He loved learning physics and chemistry from his wife.

"Okay, so there was this scientist called Isaac Newton," she explained. "He studied kinematics extensively and put forth three laws, called Newton's Laws of Motion."

"Newton? I think I saw his statue at Cambridge that one time," said Lyall. "When we went to see Bran and Cledwyn at their college."

"Yes, that's the man," she said. "So the first law of Motion states that -

When Remus and Sirius walked into the dining room, only Peter was there. "Where is everyone else?" asked Sirius.

"James' parents won't be joining us, they're going to the wedding of the granddaughter of that Derek Nibley we met over Christmas. James was just summoned upstairs by Mrs. Potter," Peter replied. "He said he'd be back in a couple of minutes."

"Oh, alright, I'll just go dump this bag in James' room in the meantime," said Remus and walked out of the room.

Sirius drew the chair beside Peter and sat down. "So, how have you been, mate?" he asked Peter. "Why did you not reply to our last letter?"

"Because the things I witnessed in Sibiu are not things to be written down," said Peter, shuddering. "And before you ask, let's just wait until after lunch, I'll tell you all everything."

Sirius chuckled. "Okay." Then he reached for a piece of garlic bread and popped it into his mouth.

"James told me what happened to you," said Peter. "I'm really sorry, Sirius."

Sirius nodded. "Thanks, Pete," he said, reaching for another piece of garlic bread.

"Oh, you received a letter, it's over there on the mantelpiece," Peter told him.

"Oh, nice, Marly's replied," said Sirius and walked over to the mantelpiece, picked up the letter and froze when he saw his name in Persian green ink. His heart rate increased rapidly and his hand trembled as he turned the letter over. It wasn't from Marlene or Uncle Alfie like he had thought. _Walburga Black, 12, Grimmauld Place, London,_ was written in his mother's elegant but hostile handwriting.

"Who's it from?" asked Peter, looking at the various pickles and condiments placed on the table. But when Sirius didn't reply, he just assumed he was busy reading the letter.

 _Why is she writing to me? Maybe I should just throw it away. Wait, what if it was about Regulus?_  
His hand fumbled as he tried to open it. The wax seal showed the Black family crest and it was being difficult.  
 _Maybe I shouldn't read it._ But then he'd never know what had been written in it. In the end he opened it and read it.

 _Sirius,  
_ _Do you think, that just because the Potters are letting you stay with them, it means they love you? They don't love you. How could anyone even like you? I know for sure, you will disappoint them, just as you have disappointed us repeatedly, and soon they will get tired of you and kick you out themselves. And I hope they do, then you will realise your mistakes and come crawling back here like the cockroach that you are-_

"It was nothing, mum and dad were just wondering if I wanted to go as well, obviously no," said James, walking in and chuckling. "What's that?"

"Oh, Sirius just got a letter from Marlene," said Peter.

"Ah, right," said James, sitting down in the chair Sirius had just vacated. "Did you know, Pete, Evans' sister's getting married next week."

"Really? That's nice. Although, I didn't know she had a sister," replied Peter, but James wasn't listening. He was looking at Sirius. Sirius blinked at the letter, and then slowly turned his head to glance at them, unable to speak. He hadn't finished reading it, but he didn't think he could read one more word.

"No, do not read that letter, give it to me!" said James, suddenly getting up and running over to him.

Sirius hid it behind his back. "No," he said.

"Sirius, give me that letter!" said James, trying to grab it. Remus walked in to see James and Sirius struggling over the letter.

"What's going on?" he asked Peter, but Peter didn't reply. He put his finger on his lips and crept slowly towards them.

"Sirius, you give me the bloody letter now!" said James loudly, grasping at the letter, crumpling it.

Peter crept behind Sirius and easily snatched the letter out of his hand. "Peter!" said Sirius frustratedly, as Peter quickly read it.

"Give me that, Wormy!" said James, and moved toward him, but Sirius held on to his arm and pulled him back, trying to stop him.

"No, James, you can't read that letter! _Please_ , no!" he begged. In the meantime, Remus took the letter from Peter and read it.

"What the hell, Sirius! Let go of me!" James yelled, pushing Sirius hard. Sirius hadn't been expecting that, he fell to the floor, rolled over and banged his face on the corner of the heavy teak-wood dining table.

James stood there, horrified at what he had done. Sirius slowly sat up and felt his cheekbone which was beginning to bruise. "Sirius, I'm so sorry! I didn't -" James said as he walked toward Sirius, but Sirius actually flinched, and James froze.

Remus and Peter looked between them worriedly. Then, Remus approached Sirius, and gently gave him his hand. "Come on, Padfoot, get up off the floor," he said and Sirius slowly took his hand and stood up. He and James couldn't look at each other. Then suddenly, Sirius retched and covered his mouth.

"Whoa! Get him to the toilet!" said Peter, and Sirius out of the dining room and to the bathroom, and vomited whatever was left in his stomach. Remnants from the morning's breakfast and all of the smoothie, everything came out. Remus knelt down beside him and held his hair up. He kept retching, even though there was nothing left to come out, it felt horrible.

James snatched the letter from Peter. He felt nauseous himself after reading it. He and Peter walked over to the bathroom and saw Sirius panting, clutching the toilet bowl. Remus looked up at them worriedly. Then, James took a deep breath and marched up the stairs. He knocked on his parents' bedroom door. Monty opened it, chuckling at something and straightening his dress robes. "How do I look, Jamesie?" he asked, grinning, but his expression changed as he looked at James' face.

Before he could ask him what had happened, James handed him the letter. Monty walked back into the room, reading the letter, and James followed him in. "This is unbelievable! The nerve of that woman!" said Monty, handing his wife the letter. She read it, and was outraged.

"Dad, Sirius-" James started to say, but he couldn't continue. He sat down on the edge of their bed.

"Did he read the letter?" Mia asked him.

"Part of it, I think. Uurgh! Peter thought it was from Marlene, he didn't check the letter, he doesn't know the intensity of the situation," said James angrily.

Downstairs, Peter stared at Sirius. He had never seen him like this before. Sirius was shaking. "Sirius, let's go into the garden and get some fresh air," he said, and they helped him up off the bathroom floor and lead him outside to the herb garden in the back.

Sirius sat down on the ground heavily, next to the three types of basil and inhaled their perfume. He glanced at Remus, trying not to think of the letter, and saw Remus surveying him, trying to guess what was going on in his head. "I'm… I'm okay," he told Remus.

Upstairs in their bedroom, Mia paced angrily, the letter clenched in her fist. _How could I have not seen this coming._ "You know," she said, wheeling around at her husband and son, "I was so sure they wouldn't contact him after last time, but that _snake_ of a woman!"

"Last time?" asked James.

"She wrote to me, demanding that I send Sirius back to Grimmauld Place," said Mia. "We thought it was best not to mention it to you two."

"Did you reply? What did you say?" asked James, feeling a bit nervous.

"I told her very clearly that if Sirius wants to stay here, that's his choice, and that if she tries anything illegal, I'd go to the authorities about what they did to him," Mia said. "Agatha told us she's willing to testify."

"And when that didn't work, she thought she'd hit him with that, play him emotionally," said Monty. "She thought she could make him regret coming here, by making him feel guilty about all of it."

"He was just starting to feel a little better!" said James indignantly.

"And what did she think?! That we wouldn't find out?" Mia demanded angrily.

"She knows him well, mum. Sirius tried to stop me from reading it," said James, remembering Sirius flinching and feeling a jolt of sadness.

"Yes, she knew exactly what to write, so he would be too embarrassed to show us. Very effective manipulation," said Monty, nodding at James.

"I am done with this woman! Monty?" said Mia determinedly.

"I'm going to the authorities today," said Monty standing up. "I'll set up a meeting with Nancy Lenormand, she heads the Children's division of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

Mia nodded. "Nancy is a sensible woman, do you want to send her a letter to make an appointment?" she asked her husband.

James looked at his parents, already making plans. "Wait, wait dad, I don't think Sirius wouldn't want that," he said, also standing up.

"Well, it's up to us to make him see that this kind of abuse should not be tolerated," Monty told him.

"It's not that... Regulus. That's his home, and Sirius-" James said, shaking his head. "He wouldn't want that."

Mia's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Mia," said Monty kindly, putting his arm around her.

"He's such an angel. Look at this, _Aren't you ashamed of becoming a burden on other people like that?_ " Mia read out from the letter, and wiped her cheeks. "How could anyone think that boy is a burden? Don't they know what a good heart he has?"

"No mum, they don't. That's the point. They're crazy. Medically insane," James told her. "And it doesn't matter what happens, they won't change, that's for sure."

They heard voices coming from the little herb garden downstairs, and James looked down through the window. Sirius was running his fingers through some rosemary and Peter was telling him something about it, pointing at the plants, probably how to use rosemary sprigs in a dish. Remus was sitting on one of the large rocks, listening to Peter. James could see the bruise forming on Sirius' cheek clearly in the afternoon sun. "Peter had the letter in his hand, mum, and I was about to go and read it. Sirius tried to stop me, and we struggled for a bit, until I pushed him. I didn't realise how hard I was pushing him, he fell and hit his face on one of the legs of the dining table!" said James, looking at his parents.

They both walked up to the window to see the bruise on Sirius's face. "Oh dear!" said Mia.

"I walked to him to help him up, but he _flinched_! He actually flinched at the thought of me touching him!" he said, looking troubled.

"No," Monty told him, "Not you, exactly. He would have reacted that way to anyone."

"He didn't react that way when Remus helped him up!" said James. "He was scared of me."

"James, it isn't like that. Sirius is not going to start seeing you as an abuser. You and Sirius fight a lot, you're always wrestling, he knows that. But, this is the way trauma comes back to you, sometimes. You unconsciously relive it for a few moments, thinking you're back in that time and place. That's what happened, okay? And when Remus helped him up, the moment had passed, so it was alright," said Monty firmly.

James looked worriedly down at Sirius, and walked out of the room. He went down the stairs and out into the garden.

Sirius saw James walk toward him, and got to his feet. "James, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that," he said.

"Why the hell are _you_ apologising? _I_ should be apologising for pushing you that hard!" said James.

"For flinching…" Sirius muttered, looking down at the ground.

James walked over and stood next to him, smiling. "Forget about it," he told him.

Sirius was really relieved, and then he wasn't relieved at all. The letter came back to him, particularly the part where he would disappoint the Potters too, and felt a lump in the back of his throat. _I've done exactly what she said, I've disappointed James already._ He hung his head, blinking back tears.

"Padfoot?" asked James softly.

"I really don't want to disappoint you guys," he replied, and sniffed.

"You haven't!" said James, hugging him. "Stop crying, you did nothing! Ignore that damn letter!" said James, looking to Remus for help.

Remus didn't know what to say, he tried to gauge how Sirius must be feeling. He put himself in his shoes. _Living in someone else's home, and then getting a letter from your parents, saying you'll disappoint them too. That was truly a terrible feeling. Poor Sirius._ "Pads, everyone here loves you," he told him.

"Yes," they heard, and they all turned around. Monty and Mia were standing there.

Sirius couldn't look them in the face. "I am mortified," he mumbled.

"Why?" asked Mia, and he looked up at her. "Because you're afraid?" He blinked.

"Let me tell you this, Sirius. The _only_ time you're going to disappoint us, is when you won't call this place, home," said Monty firmly.

"We _love_ you," said Mia, and walked over and hugged him tightly. In her arms, Sirius felt her motherly love emanate from her, and a sense of peace he had never known before.

Mia let go of him and Monty turned Sirius' face to the right, to examine the bruise. "What a shiner! This is why you're forbidden to hold wrestling matches indoors!" he said sternly and they all chuckled.

An owl suddenly fluttered toward them and everybody looked cautiously up at it. Monty grabbed the letter and ripped it open. Everyone stared at him. Then he chuckled. "Derek's really anxious, he wants us to be there as soon as possible," he said, turning to Mia.

Mia smiled. "We should get going. Sirius, are you going to be alright?" she asked him kindly.

"Of course," he said.

"You boys are not to leave the perimeters," Monty instructed them seriously, and they nodded. "I've put up protective enchantments around the walls, and even blocked the floo line, now it only connects to Peter's and Remus' house, and to the Nibley's of course. So, there will be no need to step outside."

"We understand," said Remus.

"Yeah," said Peter, nodding.

"Good. James, you're in charge," said Monty.

"Me?!"

"Yes you, now we have to go," said Mia, and they walked back inside to floo to the wedding.

"But you're always in charge," James said, pointing to Remus.

Remus laughed. "You know what, just for the fun of it, I think I'm going to take down the enchantments at the gates and go outside, I want to learn how to ride the bike. Sirius?"

Sirius grinned. "Sounds like fun."

"Shut the hell up, both of you," James ordered them, and they all laughed. "No one's going anywhere... and you're not allowed to do magic outside school, did you forget, Moony?"

"Now you know what it feels like," said Remus, sticking his tongue out at him. Then the boys looked at each other. _So, what now?_

"You know what, I have something, and it's perfect for right now, I'll be right back," he said, and went into the house. He came back out five minutes later, with a small drawstring bag.

"What's in there, Wormtail?" asked Sirius nervously.

"Guess!"

"Illegal potion ingredients?" asked James, and Sirius laughed.

Cannabis," said Remus, smelling it.

"You cheated, Moony, that's not guessing. It's called hashish, people," said Peter, taking out a joint, and they all exclaimed. "Highest quality you can find."

"Where did you get it?" asked James, taking it from Peter and looking it over.

"My cousins... They're very well connected," said Peter, smirking.

"To drug dealers, you mean," said Remus disapprovingly.

"Well, yes. Do you want to smoke?" said Peter, taking out a lighter.

"Well," said Remus, staring at the joint.

"He definitely wants to!" said James, grinning. "If it's not a resounding no, then it's a maybe. We can work with that!"

Remus laughed. "Now, wait a minute-"

"Go on, Moony, you're not a Prefect here," said Sirius.

Remus smiled at him. "Okay, then," he said.

" _Minunat!"_ said Peter. "It means 'wonderful' or 'awesome' in Romanian, my aunt says it all the time. Here, give it to me and I'll show you how to light it." He walked over to the large rock and lit the joint.

"Wait, I'm in charge, so I'm going to get into trouble for this if my parents find out, and Tally is a sneak, he'll definitely tell them," said James, anxiously looking up at the windows.

"Fuck off, mate, you've convinced me already, now there's no going back," said Remus, taking the joint and taking a long drag.

Sirius and Peter laughed. "Fine..." said James. "Give me that."


	67. High Thoughts

**Author's note: I started watching this Italian series on Netflix called 'Baby' and there's this innocent-looking dude called Fabio in it, and when I saw him, I thought he looked exactly how I imagined Peter to be! If there ever was a series made on the Marauders, he should be Peter lol.**

* * *

"I heard that people, when they are high, they talk about the less-appreciated things in life," said Remus.

"Where did you hear that?" asked Peter.

"Marlene told me," said Remus.

"When did she tell you that?" asked Sirius.

"Well, Marlene and I talk about a lot of things, you know, she's great," said Remus, chuckling. "She was looking really beautiful the other day. That new hairstyle really suits her."

"She was looking hot," agreed James.

"I've always liked the way she looks," said Peter, looking at Sirius. Peter always thought there was something going on between Sirius and Marlene. "Isn't that right, Sirius?" he asked, trying to get him to confess.

"I guess, I don't know," said Sirius awkwardly. "I've never noticed..."

James and Remus laughed at him. "You wouldn't," said James.

"I always thought _you_ wouldn't," said Peter. "I always thought you were gay, Moony."

"I am," said Remus casually, exhaling a puff of smoke. James and Sirius stared at him.

"Are you serious?" asked Peter.

"I'm fucking Sirius," said Remus, and chuckled at his own pun. James looked at Sirius' expression and laughed.

Peter didn't realise it was a double meaning, he looked at Remus thoughtfully. "Oh," he said.

"Hmmm, yeah..." said Remus, lying down on the grass. "I like blokes. But, I like girls too," said Remus, Sirius and James gaped at him.

"Really?" said Peter, searching his drawstring bag for the lighter.

"Excuse me?" said Sirius.

"Yeah, you have a problem with that, Black?" asked Remus, grinning at him.

"Er, no. But you never told me," said Sirius.

"I didn't think it was relevant," said Remus.

"Well, it isn't, technically, but I would have liked to know anyway," said Sirius.

"Hey, this grass looks extremely green from up close, right? Or is it just me?" said Remus, squinting at a blade of grass.

Peter chuckled. "How is he already high?" he asked.

"Maybe cos he's a werewolf," said James.

"One of the few good things that come from being a werewolf, I guess," said Sirius, looking down at Remus who was still inspecting the blade of grass.

"Anyway, I know you've all been dying to know," said Peter.

"Yes! Did you meet some vampires, then?" James asked Peter.

"Yes actually, they're everywhere in Transylvania. Most Muggles can't really recognise them though," said Peter, grinning.

"Yeah, you wrote in the letter that you had to escape from one," said Sirius.

"Yeah, you have to be very careful who you talk to and make eye contact over there," Peter explained. "It can be difficult to spot them at first, but you get used to it soon enough."

"So what was the thing you were saying earlier?" Sirius asked him.

"Earlier, when?" asked Peter. "Oh, before that damned letter happened. Yeah, so in Sibiu, right, my cousin took me to these churches, that all have these underground chambers that Muggles don't know, exist. It was quite weird, they practise dark magic in some."

"Wow, what kind of dark magic?" asked Remus.

"Necromancy," answered Peter, and everyone gasped.

"Necromancy? I thought neo-pagan wizards don't practise it," said James.

"Remus was confused. "I can see it's something related to death, it has the word 'necro' in it," he said. "There was a temple in Ancient Greece called the Necromanteion, where people went to talk to their deceased loved ones."

"Necromancy is dark, dark magic," explained James. "It's like extracting memories from corpses and stuff like that, it's all illegal here in Britain."

"Oh, like the German bloke, what was his name? Faust?" asked Remus. "And I think I also read it in The Odyssey. When Odysseus is unable to find his way back home to Ithaca, he consults the sorceress Circe. And she instructs him these various rites he has to perform in order to reach the ghost of the Theban Tiresias. He has to cut off the head of several sheep to achieve it."

"Yeah, not only things like that, they were also doing loads of other terrible stuff," said Peter.

"Were they using cat skin? I read about a court case from 1323 Paris, about some people who were plotting to evoke a demon called Berich from inside a circle made from strips of cat skin," said Remus, grimacing.

"It's fascinating how you manage to keep all this information in that brain of yours," said Sirius.

"Poor cat!" said James, suddenly tearing up.

"Do you really like cats so much, James?" asked Sirius. "You never told us."

"Yeah, they are the animal versions of shinobis, and I especially love when they lie on the ground and become completely flat," said James, grinning.

Sirius laughed.

"Some cats' legs also have white tips like they're wearing socks!" said James excitedly.

Remus and Peter smiled. "That _is_ cute," said Remus.

"Would you like a cat, James?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah, I'd like a cat."

"Okay."

"No, I'm talking about disgusting things, like burning plants like aloe, mandrake, and opium... and making potions from body parts, all which I feel is really unnatural and unnecessary," said Peter, with a shudder.

"Human body parts?!" asked James, horrified.

Peter grimaced and nodded.

"That horrible!"

"Gross! How did you stand it?!"

"Why did you even go in there?"

"I… I didn't go there on my own, my cousins took me there, Razvan actually works as security in one of those underground caverns!" he said, and they all exclaimed.

"My great-aunt Cassiopeia once told us about a necromancer she met in Carthage, Tunisia," said Sirius.

"Yeah, Carthage," said James, nodding. "Some African religions practice necromancy as a part of divination. Not making potions from body parts, but- dad has this old pile of books and magazines he buys during his travels, and I read this article in a magazine from Nairobi. It talked about a shaman who had been invited to a village, because apparently a hippo had been targeting people who were crossing the river, it would upturn boats and kill people."

"But that's in the nature of a hippo, hippopotamuses are very territorial," said Remus.

"Really?! I always thought hippos were these cute, large herbivores," said Peter.

"Yeah, they kind of look cute," said Sirius, grinning.

"No, they may look cute, but they're very dangerous. If they catch you trespassing in their territory, they'll chase you and kill you will their foot-long teeth!"

"Merlin!"

"Yeah, some say hippos are the most dangerous animals in Africa," said Remus. "Well, muggles say that, since they've never encountered Nundus."

"No, no, Remus, see this one had gone rogue, it was targeting specific people, it was coming into areas with human settlements," said James.

"Oh."

"Yeah, so this shaman, he was a wizard, obviously, he prepared himself for nine days and nine nights, and managed to capture the animal and cage it," said James. "Then the animal died in captivity. And everyone thought that was the end of it, but then another hippo started doing the same thing. That's when the shaman realised he was dealing with an evil spirit."

"Then what happened?" asked Peter quickly.

"He captured the second animal, and tried to extract the spirit from it using necromancy, but he probably didn't take proper precautions, because the spirit exited the hippo, but it killed him by ripping out his tongue."

"Oh Merlin!" exclaimed Peter. He shuddered, remembering the pin prick.

"But why were they doing it where you were, Peter?" asked Sirius.

"They were attempting to evoke the spirit of some druid to predict the future," Peter told him.

"But what do the dead really know?" said Remus. "They're... they're _dead_."

"How should I know?! I'm not dead," said Peter.

"It was a rhetorical question, Peter," said Remus, looking at the grape vines, a little distance away.

"Right," said Peter. Sirius and James giggled.

"How are you supposed to feel with this?" asked Sirius, looking at the joint. "I'm really not feeling anything."

"Marlene said you don't feel anything the first time," Remus said.

"This isn't your first time?!" asked Sirius.

Remus smiled at him. "No, Marlene and I smoked some weed in a broom cupboard."

"I knew it, it was when you said you were off studying for your Arithmancy OWL, isn't it?" said James.

Remus laughed. "Yes."

"You're keeping so many secrets from us," said Sirius. "Why didn't you invite me as well?"

"You don't have Arithmancy," said Remus, and Sirius pouted. Remus looked away at the trees again. "Don't you just love dogs? I love dogs," he said.

"Yeah, I love dogs," said Peter.

"Me too," said James, and Sirius smiled.

"I always think, there are so many breeds of dogs, right?" said Remus. "Sheepdogs, bulldogs, hounds, poodles, miniature dogs..."

"Yeah?" said James.

"Have you guys seen a Corgi before?" he asked them.

"Like the ones the Queen has?" asked Peter.

"Yeah, those. Don't you think Corgis have the doggiest faces of all dogs?" Remus asked, and the others laughed.

"Haha, 'doggiest faces'," said Sirius.

"He's right, it's the face that comes to mind when you think of the word 'dog'," said Peter. "Well at least it used to for me, now it's just Padfoot."

Sirius grinned. "Huskies are a close second in the Most Doggiest face list," he said.

"Now you're getting it," said Remus.

"Sadly... I don't know what huskies are," said Peter, passing the joint to Sirius.

"I have a thought," said James.

"Speak it," said Peter.

"It's a completely different topic, and a little graphic-"

"We want to hear all your thoughts, Prongsie," said Remus.

"Okay, you know how some people refer to the vagina as 'pussy'?" said James. Sirius and Remus started laughing.

"So what if they do?" said Peter, grinning.

"That word is so weird, cos it sounds a bit like 'pissy' and that just relates to piss, and doesn't sound sexy at all to me."

"Interesting," said Remus.

"Well, then just refer it to as 'vagina' then," said Peter.

"That's too clinical for him," said Sirius.

"It is," said James.

"'Cunt.' Use 'cunt'," said Remus.

"But that's used as an insult," said Peter. "Even 'twat'."

""Twat' means vagina?!" said Sirius, and the others laughed at him.

"Why?" asked Remus, turning to his side to face them. "Why are genitals used as insults, though? 'You knob.' 'Are you a pussy.' I've always hated that."

The others nodded.

"You're right, I think they should be celebrated, not used as insults," said Sirius. "Since they give us such _pleasure._ "

Everyone chuckled. "Truer words are rarely spoken," said James. "Let's go to the library and check out the synonyms for 'vagina'.

They went to the library and James found a dictionary and flipped it to 'V'. Then he laughed. "Front bottoms!"

"Nooo, I just imagined a girl with an extra bum on the front!" said Sirius, falling to his knees. "Oh, my brain!"

"Why did you have to tell us that?!" said Peter, disgusted. "That's vile!"

James kept reading the list of words. "Minge."

"Insult," said Peter.

"Clunge."

"That's worse."

Haha, beaver!"

"Sounds hairy."

"Jelly roll."

"Makes me hungry," said Peter.

"Hungry for some jelly roll!" said Sirius, and everyone laughed.

"Mound of Venus."

"Non-insulting," said Remus, nodding.

"Feels historic," said Peter, and Remus shook his head.

"Vulva."

"Still clinical."

"Box."

"No. Just no."

"Meat curtains." Sirius started laughing.

"No, for the love of Godric," said Remus. Sirius was still laughing.

"Dick dungeon."

"Kind of sexist."

"Honeypot."

"Sounds erotic. Perfect," said Remus.

"Honeypot, it is," said James, closing the book.

Sirius stopped laughing. "Perfect, huh?" he asked Remus.

"No, not like that," said Remus quickly.

"I may have tasted the honey from a Romanian honeypot," said Peter with a small smile.

"You kept that quiet!"

"Tell. Us. Everything!"

"Well, you know how girls at Hogwarts... They don't think of me as someone they would want to date…" he began.

"Oh, come on," said James.

"It's true, no use tiptoeing around it. Well, that actually worked to my advantage! She thought I was the last person who could be a vampire in disguise, so she asked me out!" he said happily.

"Wow, Peter! Lucky in love, at last!" said James.

"Um, saying it's love is going too far," said Peter, chuckling. "We went on a bunch of dates, and she told me a lot about her hometown and its history. She thought I was sweet."

"Give me five!" Peter chuckled.

James grinned at Peter. _Who knew Peter would be the first amongst us to get laid. Wait, these two have probably done the deed too. But that means... I am the only virgin here!_

Peter looked at all the books around him, they all seemed to be happy for him.  
 _Wait, books don't have feelings._  
But it didn't matter, all that mattered was that he was happy. And that the books were happy for him. And that he was happy that the books were happy for him. And that the books were happy that he was happy that the books were happy for him. And that he was hap-

"Is anyone else feeling ravenous?" asked Sirius, rubbing his belly.

"Oh Merlin, I want food right now!" said Remus.

"Young masters, come to the dining room, lunch will be served immediately!" said Jani, suddenly appearing from behind a shelf and ushering them out.

"Whoa! Why didn't we see you there until now?!" said Sirius, pointing dramatically at her.

"That is weird, how long have you been following us?" James asked her.

"For about forty-five minutes, young master," said Jani. "Because it's already half-past four and you still haven't eaten..."

James exchanged looks with Sirius and shook his head. _No privacy in this house at all._

"Let's go," said Remus.

The Marauders were still eating when the Potters returned, three and a half hours later. "Awesome, having your dinners?" asked Mia, sitting down at the table.

"This is their lunch, madam," said Jani guiltily.

" _Lunch?"_

"Yes, we got a little carried away-" said James.

"Doing stuff," said Sirius.

"They were smoking in the library, madam," Jani whispered.

"Jani!" said James, and she hung her head, looking even more guilty.

"They were smoking cannabis, madam," Tally whispered. Peter squeaked in fear.

"Tally, you sneak!" said James.

"Stop it, James!" said Mia, getting to her feet. "I leave you in charge and this is what you make them do?"

"I didn't _make_ them do it," said James.

"Yes, we did it together," said Remus.

"That was very irresponsible of you, James," said Monty. "And in the library too. You should have some respect for the books at least!"

"We weren't smoking in the library, we smoked in the herb garden and then went to the library," said James. "Tally, you liar, tell them!" Tally hid behind Jani fearfully.

"Don't shout at Tally for your mistakes!" said Mia angrily. "I don't ever want to hear about you smoking cannabis again!"

"Then fire Tally, he's the one you heard it from!" said James, looking crossly at Tally, who had tears in his eyes.

"James!" exclaimed Mia, astonished. "Do you hear yourself?!"

"I am sure we did not raise you to be this arrogant," said Monty calmly, and James blinked at his father. _Arrogant. Lily's right, I am arrogant!  
_ "I'm sorry," he said immediately. "Mum, I am so sorry." He walked over to Tally. "Tally, I'm sorry. Really," he said.

"So, does this mean clothes?" asked Tally tearfully.

"No!" said James, kneeling down in front of Tally. "No clothes. You are not being fired, I'm sorry for shouting at you."

Tally smiled, finally. "Thank you, young master," he said.

"Er, we go back to the kitchens now." said Jani, putting her arm around Tally, and the two of them disapperated.

Mia looked at all their guilty faces. "Go up to your rooms as soon as you're done eating," she told them. They promptly stood up and hurried out.

Sirius was angry. "Peter, why didn't you tell her that it was you that brought the hashish?!" he demanded, as they climbed up the stairs to their rooms.

"I was scared, alright?" said Peter in a low voice.

"No, not alright, Pete! You have to learn to own up to your mistakes," Sirius told him.

"But you three smoked it too, I wasn't the only one," said Peter.

"Yeah, but that's not the point," said Sirius.

Peter looked at the other two, they were avoiding his eyes, and that meant Sirius was right. "Okay," he said.

After the others had retired to their respective rooms, Remus tiptoed to Sirius'. He went in and shut the door behind him, and leaned on the door, looking at Sirius.

"What?" asked Sirius, adding another pillow under his head.

"I just came to see you," said Remus.

"You've seen me," said Sirius, gesturing at himself. "Now, goodnight."

"I knew it, you _are_ mad at me," said Remus, walking over to the bed.

"No, I'm not," said Sirius, although this was clearly a lie.

"I should have told you," said Remus.

"Told me what?" asked Sirius, feigning ignorance.

"That I like girls too, I'm sorry I didn't," said Remus, sitting down beside him.

Sirius looked away at the blue curtains. "Okay," he said. Then he sat up angrily. "You're not one of those 'confused' people, are you? People who date for a while, and then they say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was gay but I realised I'm not, thanks for all your help..."

"Who even does that?!" asked Remus, astonished.

"I read it in an article," said Sirius. "Apparently some people do."

"I am not one of them!" said Remus.

"Fine!" said Sirius.

"Look, I'm really sorry-"

"Do you even know why I'm mad? You didn't say you'd forgotten to tell me, you didn't say it never came up, you said you didn't think it was _relevant_ ," said Sirius. "How can this not be relevant?!"

"How can it be? You're a boy, and it's about girls," said Remus.

"Ugh, you just don't get it! It's not about boys or girls or whatever, it's just a fact about yourself that you didn't want to tell me," said Sirius.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I didn't think!"

"Don't lie, you're always thinking," Sirius said.

"I meant I didn't think to tell you," said Remus. "Maybe I just assumed it would come up in conversation one day."

"That is crap."

"I don't know. I don't know why I didn't tell you," said Remus.

Sirius exhaled vexedly. "Remus, I'm really tired. I don't know why we have to play this game _every time_. Something comes up - you don't tell me - I find out on my own. I just- I don't understand why we can't be honest with each other? Am I so untrustworthy that you feel the need to hide things from me?"

"No!"

"Then what? I don't get it, will you ever be completely honest with me?"

Remus felt a lump in his throat, he couldn't say anything. "I'm sorry," he said in a low voice. "I try to be honest, but then I overthink things-"

Sirius looked at him. "Yeah, I know."

"I'm really sorry," said Remus, for the fifth time that night.

"Remus, stop apologising so many times, I told you I get it," said Sirius.

"Are you really tired of me?" Remus asked him miserably.

"Moony! I didn't say I was tired of you, I'm tired of dancing around these silly so-called secrets," said Sirius, brushing his cheek. "How can I be tired of you?"

But Remus pushed his hand away. "What is it?" Sirius asked him.

"I'm afraid you'll punish me later on."

"What! When did I ever punish you?" Sirius asked him, perplexed.

"Severus! You sent him after me because I told McGonagall about the letter," said Remus, looking away.

"No, Moony, I wasn't thinking straight at the time, I wasn't in my right mind, I'm sorry," said Sirius. "I will never ever do anything like that again, I swear."

Remus was still looking away.

"I am not going to punish you for this, for anything, Moony, " said Sirius, turning his face towards his own. "I love you. I love all of you, even the wolf. Even when I hate you, I love you, please believe me. I just get like this because I want to know everything about you. All your thoughts, no matter how weird you think they are. There's nothing you could say that would drive me way, okay?"

Remus smiled. "Okay," he said. Then he took Sirius' hand and kissed it.

"So, you think the word 'honeypot' is perfect, do you?" said Sirius, grinning.

Remus scratched his head. "Did I say that?" he asked, pretending not to remember.

"I believe you said it was erotic," said Sirius, narrowing his eyes.

"Well it is," said Remus, and Sirius raised an eyebrow. "The euphemism was. I like euphemisms that liken things with elements found in nature. How about this one? One can think of humans as the imperfect flowers of the summer squash. Just because I like the ones with the pistils, doesn't mean I don't like the ones with stamens," said Remus, bringing his hand up Sirius' thigh.

"Now that's the kind of euphemism I can appreciate," asked Sirius, smirking.

"I knew you would," said Remus. "I'm about to show you exactly how much I love stamens," said Remus, pulling Sirius into a horizontal position. Sirius giggled as Remus climbed on to him. He was just about to kiss him, then he heard footsteps right outside. He gasped and hurriedly rolled off of him and sat on the bed, facing the opposite direction.

"Who is it?" asked Sirius, and the door opened and Mia walked in.

"Sirius, I just wanted to- Oh, Remus, you're also here," she said.

"Hey Mrs. Potter," said Sirius, glancing at Remus.

"Oh, hey, Mrs. Potter," said Remus, and stood up, facing the other way, wishing he was wearing wizarding robes. He couldn't turn to her, or she'd see the obvious. The unconcealable. He walked around her, somehow not facing her. "Okay, goodnight, Mrs. Potter," he said and hastily left the room.

Mia didn't understand why he behaved so strangely. But when she turned to Sirius, she saw him quickly getting under the covers, and then she understood what she had just interrupted. _Oh, why don't you knock, Mia? Oh well, since I've already interrupted them..._ "Sirius, I just came to check on you," she said.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Potter," he replied. "We're sorry about earlier, it won't happen again."

"I'm glad to hear it," she said.

"And please don't blame James for it, it wasn't just his fault, we were all doing it," he said and she nodded.

"Thank you for saying that, Sirius," she said. "Now, go to sleep, alright?"

Sirius nodded.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mrs. Potter." Sirius exhaled in relief when she shut the door.


	68. Qasab

Monty knocked on James' door and walked in. "Hello father!" said James, standing up.

"Why are you being overly polite? It doesn't suit you. And it's not going to work, you're still in big trouble," he told him.

"Am I grounded?" James asked his father.

"We'll decide that later, but first tell me this, where did you get the cannabis?" Monty asked.

James sighed and sat down on the bed. "Peter brought some back from Romania," he replied.

"I see," said Monty, sitting down next to him. "James, you behaved very badly today, your mother had wondered if it was the influence of the cannabis, but I know it wasn't that."

"It wasn't," said James. "I think I sometimes end up saying things, like... like in my head they sound perfectly normal, but when they come out, I sound so arrogant. You were right."

"I don't get it, don't Sirius or Remus ever say anything?" asked Monty.

James shrugged. "Maybe they've gotten used to it," James replied. "Only Lily has ever pointed it out."

"Lily? The cute redhead?" he asked and James nodded.

"I always thought she was exaggerating, but today I realised she was actually saying it like it is," said James dejectedly. "She must hate me so much."

"No, I don't think she hates you, James," said Monty, and James looked up at him. "If she actually hated you, she wouldn't have bothered telling you to change."

James smiled at his father.

"How is Sirius, really?" Monty asked him.

"He... looked alright, but I don't know. He- no, never mind," said James.

"No, tell me, what is it?" said Monty.

"Okay, but promise you won't be mad."

"I won't." James raised his eyebrows. "I promise!" Monty said, grinning.

"We didn't know what else to do, dad," said James. "The look on his face was something else, we've never seen him like that before... So when Peter brought out the cannabis, I couldn't say no. I actually think it helped."

Monty shook his head. "All these things are just temporary solutions, James," he said.

"Yes, but I think, sometimes, they're needed to block out feelings, even if it's only temporary," said James.

Monty stared at his son. _These boys are way too young to be talking in this manner._

When Mia knocked on Remus' door, he opened the door immediately. "Mrs. Potter, please don't tell my dad what we were doing today, otherwise he will never allow me to come back!" said Remus.

 _The sex? Why would I tell him that?! Oh wait, he means the cannabis! Merlin, Mia, this is why James says you are embarrassing!_ "I won't this time, but if I hear about any of you smoking that rubbish again, I'm going straight to your parents, am I being clear?" she asked him.

"Crystal!" Remus replied, nodding.

"You need to find a more positive occupation for him," Monty said to James thoughtfully.

"We'll get busy when school starts again," said James. "In the meantime..."

"Yes, I know, your mother told me. The holiday!" said Monty, getting to his feet. "We'll go. You and Sirius can decide where you want to go. It's Friday today, decide by Sunday."

"Are you serious? We can go anywhere?!"

"Yes, well, anywhere on Planet _Earth_ ," he joked.

"Really, dad?!"

"If Sirius is feeling even a little better by the end of the trip, it'll all be worth it," said Monty.

"Dad, you two are so thoughtful," said James.

Monty smiled. "Goodnight, James. Sleep well," he said, walking to the door.

"How can I sleep now? I'll be thinking about holiday destinations all night!" he said and Monty laughed.

"Well, try to get some rest at least, it's going to be a big day for you tomorrow," he said.

"Why?"

"Your mother has asked me to let you know, that _you're_ going to be preparing lunch for all of us, tomorrow," said Monty.

"What! I can't cook!"

"Well, you will be cooking tomorrow. Sleep tight!" said Monty, winking at his son.

And when he shut the door and turned around, Mia was standing there, with an awkward expression on her face. "I may have done something," she whispered.

"Wait a second," said Monty, and went over to Peter's room, but they found him already snoring. They smiled at each other and shut his door again. "Let's go back to the bedroom."

When they left, Peter opened his eyes. He'd been pretending to be asleep. _Sirius can say what he wants, but I can't do it, I can't face them._

"Before you tell me your news, I have some more important news," said Monty, shutting the bedroom door.

"What is it?" Mia asked curiously.

"It was Peter who brought the cannabis into our house, not James," said Monty.

"Oh," said Mia. "He must have got it from those cousins of his. But why didn't James say anything?"

"Because it was ultimately his decision to allow the cannabis," said Monty. "He said that to me. He said he'd thought about it, and decided to allow it because Sirius had been in such a bad state."

"Really?" said Mia.

Monty nodded. "Yeah. This changes things."

"It definitely does. He wasn't being completely reckless like we'd thought," she said.

"Exactly. So what was the matter you wanted to talk about?" Monty asked Mia.

"I've walked in on Sirius and Remus again... I think," she said guiltily.

"Hold on, what do you mean 'again'?" Monty asked her, chuckling. "And 'you think' you walked in on them? I don't understand."

"Well, remember when they were staying here over New Year's?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I wanted to see how Sirius was doing, and I went to his room-"

"Oh no, don't tell me they were-"

"They weren't doing anything, they were just talking," she said quickly. "But later when I told James about it, he laughed at me. So, I don't know, I think I shouldn't have interrupted them."

Monty blinked confusedly at her. "I see," he said. "Were they already together at that time?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but it happened again, today!" she went on. "Except this time-"

"Oh no, they had no clothes on!" he said, grimacing.

"No!"

"Oh, Merlin!"

"No, I mean they were fully clothed! But it looked like they were just about to - you know..." she said, looking at her husband pointedly.

"Right, right," he said, nodding.

"I have no idea what to do," she said. "They're not my children, I can't forbid them from having sex under my roof!"

"Why do you want to forbid them?" asked Monty.

"Because isn't that what parents are supposed to do?" she said, and Monty laughed. "I mean, don't you reckon it's what Hope and Lyall would do if Sirius was staying over at their place?"

Monty nodded. "In situations like these, I really wish Charlus were still alive, he and Dorea would give us the right advice," he said.

"You're right," said Mia, getting under the covers.

"Look, I don't know what parents are _supposed_ to do," said Monty, joining her in bed. "But I don't think there's any real necessity for us to say anything about this... I mean, think about it, there's no chance of someone getting pregnant, right?"

"Oh, Monty!" said Mia, nudging him playfully and laughing. Then she nodded. "Yeah, I guess. And speaking of, you need to give Sirius and James _the talk,_ soon."

"What! Why me?" asked Monty.

"Because, they are boys and you are their father," she said sternly.

"Mia, I know it's been the tradition for the father to give the son the talk when he comes to a certain age, but I don't think it's really necessary these days, I mean, they have books. They read."

"I know they read, but you talking to them clearly will really make a difference, trust me," she said. "Hope wrote to me, saying she's already spoken to Remus about it."

"Ha! See? It was Hope, and not Lyall. So it should be you and not me," said Monty, pulling the blanket over his head.

Mia huffed and removed the blanket from his face. "Don't try and escape this, you big baby," she told him. "Hope had to do it because Lyall wasn't going to, you know how he can be. And also because it was easy for her because it was Remus. He's so sensible and understanding."

"That he is," said Monty. "So how did she start the topic?"

"She told me she used literary references."

"Literary references?! What kind of literary references?!" asked Monty.

"Oh Merlin, she only used literary references because Remus is such a bookworm!" said Mia exasperatedly. "You don't have to do that."

"But then what should I do?" whined Monty.

"Oh my God, I don't get you, you can easily crack jokes about horny dragons and tsaagans, but this is difficult for you?!" she said.

"Wait, wait, wait. Firstly, how can you say that you don't get me? We've literally been married for forty-one years," said Monty, and Mia giggled.

"And you're still a mystery to me," she said.

Monty shook his head. "And secondly, what's the joke about the horny tsaagan? I don't know that one," he asked her, grinning.

Mia blushed slightly. "I don't know either, I was just saying- you know what I mean!"

Monty laughed. "Do you even know what tsaagans are?" he asked her.

"Of course I do, they're a group of extinct theropod dinosaurs from Asia!" she said huffily.

"Okay, because I had _no_ clue!" he said, and they both laughed.

On Sunday night, Minerva went into Hogsmeade for a nighttime stroll. As a cat. Then, she decided to get a drink with Rosmerta, and walked towards the Three Broomsticks. She was just about to enter, when she heard another cat meow to her.

"Meow, Minnie," said the cat. (Meow = Hello in Cat).

"Meow, Tony, what's up?" Minerva asked the pure white Turkish Angora.

"There's an evil looking grey owl looking for you, says his name is Khonsu," said Tony. "Want me to get rid of him for you?"

"That's alright, I know Khonsu," said Minerva. "Where is he?"

"Up that large oak tree near the square," said Tony.

"Thanks, Tony. Mrow." (Bye in Cat).

"Mrow."

 _Dear Minerva,_  
 _Thank you for your letter about James' recent behaviour, we were very shocked to hear it. It is very unlike him to bully a fellow student like that. We have punished him soundly for it. But as you rightly put it, punishment involving chores has absolutely no effect on him. Neither on Sirius. Recently I left him in charge of the boys, when Fleamont and I went to the Nibleys' wedding, and we found that it seemed to have a positive effect on him. If I may suggest something for his punishment, it would be to make James in charge of something during classes - an arena where he would be forced to put his talents forward in a positive and mature way, instead of a negative one. Make him responsible for something. But, it's up to you in the end. You are his Head of House, we will agree with whatever punishment you deem fit for him._  
 _Yours sincerely,_  
 _Euphemia Potter._  
 _P.S. We will be in Egypt over the next two weeks, so we'd like the OWL results to be sent over there, please. Thank you._

The time was ten on the morning of Thursday. Remus sat at the table and frowned at the piece of parchment in his hands.

"Remus, it's alright, at least you passed in Potions," said Lyall, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"But Professor Slughorn only accepts 'Exceeds Expectations' and above into his NEWT classes!" said Remus.

"Yes, but Remus, you used to write to us in first year, complaining that the different smells were giving you a headache," said Hope.

"That was in first year, I got used to it now!" said Remus.

"Remus, I don't think you particularly liked Potions," said Lyall and Remus looked up at his father.

"No, I don't think I like it too much," he admitted. "Somehow, I never got the hang of it."

"Neither did I," said Lyall, grinning at his son. "In fact, I got the same grade for my OWL."

"Are you serious?!" asked Remus and laughed.

"I am," said Lyall, taking the parchment out of Remus' hands. "And look, you have nothing to be worried about, you got six 'Outstandings!' and three 'Exceeds Expectations'! This is so good."

"Why did you do so poorly in History, though?" asked Hope, looking at the Grade Card. "Only an Acceptable."

"I'm dropping it this year anyway," said Remus.

"Now, come on Hope, you don't know how the professor is," said Lyall, shaking his head. "Binns is so boring! In my day, everyone used his classes to extemporaneously catch up on sleep!"

"Very funny," said Hope, putting her hands on her hips.

"It's true, mum, it's a snorefest," said Remus, grinning at his parents.

"And the professor doesn't say anything?" she asked, surprised.

"He never notices," said Remus. "He just keeps on teaching." Lyall nodded at his wife and chuckled. Remus was surprised at his father. He was usually so strict. Then he realised that he was probably only being so nice cos he was feeling guilty about not allowing him to go to Egypt with the Potters. "Hmm, I wonder when Sirius and James will get they're OWL results."

"Knowing Albus Dumbledore, he probably sends the results a day or two earlier to the students who are abroad," said Lyall.

"Yeah, that's more likely," said Remus. "Wonder what they're doing right now?" he said, thinking about all the fun they must be having in the sun and sand.

Which wasn't exactly the case. It was midday in the Egyptian desert, and the Potters were sat on a mat made out of palm fronds, on a traditional cruise down the Nile. But James huffed and wiped his brow with his handkerchief. He'd never owned a handkerchief before, he always thought they were silly. But here, in Egypt, he decided he will be using a handkerchief.

"I am _melting_..." complained Sirius, fanning himself with the large leaf of a potted plant. "I'll soon be a puddle." There were a group of seven girls sitting near them on another mat, all wearing burqas, and one of them chuckled at him.

"We'll be careful not to slip in you, then," said Monty, chuckling. But he knew what Sirius meant. It was really hot.

"Here," said Mia, handing Sirius an orange juice. "I told you it will be like this. Who in their right mind goes to Egypt in the summer? You remember how hot it was in Sri Lanka when we went down their for Aunt Eugenia's funeral, don't you, Jamesie?"

"But you said it's better to go now, since the sandstorms usually occur in March and April," said James.

"Yes they do, but I said that to make you two happy, since you wanted to come here so badly," said Mia, smiling at them.

"Well, we chose this, Sirius," said James, also taking a juice from his mother. "We might as well make the best of it."

"And what exactly does that mean?" asked Mia, narrowing her eyes at her son. "You're not going to convince Sirius to go for a swim in the river, are you? Cos there are crocodiles in the water."

"Ehe," said Mr. Jerjer, their tour guide, which meant 'yes' in Sahidic Coptic. "Nile crocodiles. Very dangerous!"

"Thank you for warning us," said James, which came out sounding really sarcastic.

"James," said Monty.

"I wasn't being sarcastic, ugh," said James, getting irritated. It was very easy to get irritated in the Egyptian heat. The girl chuckled quietly again.

Sirius laughed at him. But the Mr. Jerjer was very understanding. He went downstairs and came back with a tray of pear-green juice in glasses." "Soah! Soah!" he said, offering them the drink. (Soah meant drink in Coptic). His wife came out and offered the girls the drink, which they accepted immediately. They had to lift their veils a little to drink the juice, and they were doing it expertly, James noticed.

"What is this?" asked Sirius, taking a glass.

"Qasab," the man replied.

"Qasab? What's in it?" asked Sirius. He was about to take a sip, but Mia stopped him.

"Wait, what exactly is that, Mr. Jerjer?" she asked him.

"Ah, no problem, Mrs. Potter, the children soah, this is not alcohol," he said, passing the tray to her. She took a glass. "This is er... how you say in English? Er..." he looked around on the table with food, and picked up the sugar bowl. "Qasab, plant of..."

"Sugar? Oh, you mean it's sugarcane juice?" said Mia happily. "Oh, that's perfect. Drink up, boys."

Monty laughed and took the fourth glass. "Thank you, Mr. Jerjer, you are being very kind to us."

The man laughed. "Oh, this Qasab, suga-cann?" he asked.

"Sugar- _cane_ ," Sirius corrected him.

"Right, sugarcane. Egyptians love sugarcane juice," he said proudly.

"Wonderful," said Monty.

"It's so good!" said James, relishing the sweetness of the drink. "It's truly the drink of the Gods!"

"We love it!" Mia said to the tour guide and he smiled satisfactorily.

Sirius laughed. "And yesterday in the bazaar, you were saying coconut water was the drink of the Gods," he said.

The girl chuckled again, and both Sirius and James turned towards them. "Alright, which one of you is it?" asked James loudly and he saw all of the girls visibly flinch.

"James, over here, you're not supposed to talk to women you don't personally know," whispered Mia.

"Oh, okay," he replied. But he grinned at them and scanned their eyes, the only parts of their faces that were visible. All of them were looking at him in confusion, but one pair looked different. This girl's eyes were playful. "You know, Sirius, we can't talk to the girls, but the girls can talk to us, right," he said, and the girls started murmuring to each other.

Sirius grinned at him. "Yeah, you're right, either of them saves us from dehydration," he said.

"What?" asked James, turning to him.

"I was talking about the drinks," said Sirius, and he chuckled at him.

"Now, if you will all look to your right, you will be able to see the Temple Of Queen Hatshepsut," Mr. Jerjer said, pointing toward a temple with many columns. "Hatshepsut means 'foremost of Noble Women', and she was one of the most successful pharaohs of Egypt. She ruled for around twenty-two years, and her era was peaceful. She re-established trade with foreign lands, built a sea voyage to the Land of Punt, and had many temples and statues built."

"She sounds wonderful, I love hearing about powerful women," said Mia. Sirius and James smiled at each other. It seemed it was their lot in life to be surrounded by powerful women.

"Can we explore the temple?" asked Sirius excitedly.

"Of course, we will be docking in ten minutes, re-apply your sun creams and put your hats on, and don't forget your water," he advised them. "I'll be right back."

"Fantastic!" said Sirius, grabbing a fez from the pile and putting it on. Mia and Monty smiled at his enthusiasm.

"You look ridiculous, Fez's don't suit you, I'm sorry to say," said James, grabbing the fez off his head and put it on his own head.

Sirius tilted his head like a dog. "It suits you very much, despite the hair. And I'm not saying it just because of your skin colour," he said.

"Just because you mentioned my colour, I'm gonna assume that's why you said it," said James. Sirius face-palmed.

When the wooden ramp was laid, Sirius and James ran down it and over to the temple. "We have to back in an hour!" Monty yelled and James waved at him.

Sirius grabbed a leaflet from an american woman at the banks. "Look, apparently this temple was called 'The Holiest of the Holy'."

"Arrgh! Fascinating!" said James, admiring a statue of a large falcon head at the start of the path. Sirius grinned and touched the beak of the falcon head. Then James ran up the path to the entrance.

"Wait for me!" shouted Sirius, running after him. James pronounced the relief on a wall as 'Arrgh, fascinating' as well, and then he ran upstairs to the Queen's inner sanctuary. Sirius ran up after him, and as he was climbing the stairs, he got stuck behind a touristy-looking middle aged couple who were very slow. He heard James shout, "Arrgh!"  
"What is it? Fascinating?" asked Sirius loudly, chuckling, and the couple noticed him and gave way to him. As he approached the chamber, he heard James tell him to go back.

"Why?" asked Sirius, entering the chamber. Then he froze. A huge sphinx was sitting right in front of James, and it slowly turned it's beautiful face to look at Sirius. "Wow!" he breathed. It was the exact same colour as the walls behind it, and he realised how the muggles would probably mistake it for a statue.

'Don't move', James mouthed to him.

"Why are you here?" it asked Sirius.

"To- to see the memorial, the- the guide told us about her, the Queen, and we were curious," Sirius managed to say.

"Hatshepsut is not buried here, she was buried in her tomb in the Valley of the Kings," the Sphinx told him.

"Oh."

"But her body is not there either, it is in a museum for people to gawk at!"

"Did- you know her?" asked Sirius.

"I knew Hatshepsut," replied the Sphinx. "It was a different time, back then..."

How old are you?" Sirius asked her.

"Only I ask the questions," she said strictly, and James was reminded of his mother. "But I will tell you, I am three thousand and four years old."

"Wow," said Sirius, and accidentally took a step forward.

The sphinx suddenly stood up and Sirius hastily took a step back. "Sorry, I'm sorry."

But that seemed to make her angrier, she growled, sending shivers down their backs. She was so big, her head reached the same height as Sirius'. She took a step towards him and her claws made clicking sounds against the stone floor. "You do not have permission to be here, you are not of this land," she said.

Sirius looked at James. He didn't know what to say. _What about the fat muggle couple behind us, who are coming up to the chamber as well? Will they be able to see her?_

"No," she replied.

"You read my thoughts?!" he asked.

"I read your eyes, your body language suggests someone non-magical is behind you," she said, and then she got irritated again. "I told you I am the only one who is to ask questions!" she yelled.

"Got it, sorry, sorry," said Sirius.

"There is someone behind you," she said, and Sirius turned around in fear.


	69. Thutmose the Third

"Khonsu!" he said, and grabbed the bird. "He looks really tired, poor bird."

"His name is Khonsu?" asked the Sphinx, surprised.

"Yeah," said James. "He's my owl."

"But Khonsu is the Moon," she said. She was clearly impressed.

"The Moon?" asked Sirius, grinning. "Oh, you mean the God of the Moon. No, sorry, that wasn't a question," he quickly added, putting a finger on his mouth.

But the sphinx wasn't angry. "You haven't opened your messages," she said. "Khonsu is tired, but still waiting," she said.

"Right," said Sirius, and untied the two letters. "I think they are our OWL results, James!"

James looked at the Sphinx and she nodded, and he quickly walked up to Sirius. The Sphinx curiously looked into their letters, giving them no privacy, and he realised that sphinxes were essentially just big house cats.  
A little while later, he got bored of their discussion and left the two up there, and quickly ran down the stairs, and spotted his parents admiring a relief depicting the expedition to the Land of Punt. "Mum! Dad! I got an 'O' in Divination, I cannot believe it!" shouted James, running towards them.

"Did you get your OWL results?" asked Mia, taking the parchment from him. "Oh, James! Well done!"

"Wait, why is it suddenly cooler near you two?" asked James, grinning knowingly.

"Couldn't help it," said Mia. "I performed a light cooling charm around our clothes."

"You're the best, mum!"

"An 'O' in transfiguration, well that was obvious, he is a Potter after all," said Monty proudly.

"Where's Sirius?" asked Mia.

"Still talking to the Sphinx," said James.

" _You met a sphinx?!_ " exclaimed Monty. "But they can kill you if you don't answer their questions correctly! Where are they?!"

"Relax dad, this one's different. She's teaching Sirius the history of the New Kingdom during Hatshepsut's reign," said James. "He loves history, apparently, which I've just found out. No wonder, look, he's received an 'O' in History of Magic!"

"Amazing, and with Binns too!" said Monty, taking Sirius' grade card. "He's got better grades than you, James."

"Sirius is brilliant. Maybe a side-effect of all the inbreeding," said James, grinning.

"Actually that is the intended effect," said Mia. "Why do you think people do it? Inbreeding enhances all qualities. Mind power, Magical abilities, beauty. But what they don't realise it that it also enhances the bad qualities, like mental health problems. Depression, for example."

James laughed. "And full-on insanity like the Blacks!" he said, and she nodded.

"Exactly," she said. Some regions have the caste system, and don't marry outside of their castes for this very purpose," she continued. "In fact, there are some castes in India which actively encourage the marrying of certain cousins."

"The world is crazier than it appears," said Monty, shaking his head. "What about all the genetic disorders you'd get with marrying cousins?"

Mia shrugged. "Maybe they've found a way around it, who knows? So, did you want to go back to the boat?" she asked them.

"But it's really beautiful upstairs, don't you want to see?" James asked his parents.

They shook their heads. "We'd love to honey, but our old knees won't permit it," she said.

It was on occasions like this, that James was confronted with how old his parents were, and their mortality. "Er, yeah alright, let's go back," he said.

Upstairs, Sirius was caught up in an intense discussion with the sphinx. "That's crazy! How could he be so spiteful?!" he demanded.

"Exactly what I said to Nephthys when she confronted me," said the sphinx.

"Nephthys? The goddess, mother of Anubis?" asked Sirius.

"Well, yes, us sphinxes have the knowledge of the ancients which gives us the ability to communicate with the Gods," she said.

"What happened exactly?"

"Well, I got tired of Thutmose the Third, smashing all her statues, so I decided to teach him a lesson. I visited his dreams and told him I'd kill him if he didn't stop," she said.

Sirius laughed. "That is so amazing, you rock!" he said.

"I am rock?" she asked, confused.

"Er, no, it means you're really cool."

"I am cool? Cold?" she asked.

"No! It sort of means, you're really awe-inspiring," he explained.

"Sadly, it wasn't so awe-inspiring when Thutmose got offended and ordered his priests to evoke Her, the Goddess of Divine Assistance, and she ordered me to stop haunting his dreams," said the Sphinx.

"What? That sucks," said Sirius. "Is she really scary?"

"Yes, she is," said the sphinx. "Nephthys is the sister of Osiris and Isis. And has a fiery breath that will incinerate the enemies of the Pharaoh."

Sirius nodded. "Right, so you had to stop," he said.

"Do you want to hear the story of how I scared away a few German soldiers during the battle at Al Alamayn?" she asked after a few moments.

"For sure, yes!" said Sirius. "Was this during the Second Muggle War?"

"Yes."

James and his parents walked back to the cruise, still talking about the OWL results. "Well, he did get better grades than me, but I got more OWLS, look he's failed Divination," he said and chuckled. "He got a 'D'!"

"Don't laugh, James, it's not right," Mia scolded him.

"Fine," James mumbled as they walked up the ramp. "So what classes do you think I should drop?"

"Well, do you want to continue with History and Magical Creatures?" asked Monty.

"Well, I think Sirius is going to take History, so I'm gonna take it with him," said James. "Yeah, I could drop Magical Creatures. And Remus will probably drop Astronomy... I'll see what they do."

"Hmm, alright. I wonder how Remus fared in his exams," said Monty.

"He must have gotten eleven Outstandings!" said James. Then he thought about it. "Okay, I don't know about Potions, he's not really good at Potions."

"So ten Outstandings, then?" someone asked, and James turned around. The girl in the burqa was standing there.

"Wait, are you from Hogwarts? Do you know Remus?" asked James, grinning at her.

"Yeah, I do," she said and lifted her veil to revel her face.

"Prefect Shafiq! Good to see you," said James, giving her his hand to shake. Then he quickly retracted it. "Er, are we allowed to shake?"

Salima laughed. "Of course we're allowed to shake," she said, shaking his hand.

"Shafiq, eh? I think I knew your grandmother Inaam," said Mia, also shaking her hand.

"Oh, really? That's awesome!" said Salima.

"Yes, she was a formidable woman," said Mia.

Salima chuckled. "Yes, she was."

"So, what are you doing here?" James asked her.

"Same thing as you, sight-seeing. Although, I'm here with my cousins," said Salima, pointing at her other burqa-clad companions. "They live in Port Said, and they're showing me around. A much more personal experience than a tour guide."

"Definitely," said James. Then he grinned at her. "It's actually so good to see you. I mean see someone from school."

She nodded. "For me too," she said. "Would you want to join me and my cousins for lunch? Your friend can join us as well, when he returns."

James turned to his parents. "Is it alright if I go?" he asked his mother.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, have fun," said Mia and James joined the girls sitting in a circle.

They had all kinds of food in platters, fruits, vegetables, honey-sweetened cakes, everything. "This is called Mahshi," she told him, handing him a cooked zucchini. It was stuffed with all kinds of things like tomatoes, rice, grape leaves and spices.

"Does it contain meat?" asked James, taking the zucchini.

"They usually contain meat, but this one is all plant matter," she assured him. "Are you a vegetarian?"

"No, I do eat meat, but I'm preferring vegetarian these days," he said.

"Ah, I see."

Sirius looked at the sphinx. "I have to go now, the boat will be leaving in a minute," he said. "I'm glad you deemed me worthy of some of your knowledge."

"Your welcome."

"Can I know your name?" he asked her.

"No one can know my name," she replied.

"Fine... will you remember me? My name is-"

"Sirius Black, the Third, the Englishman who is in love with a magical being just like me," she said.

Sirius smiled at her. "Okay, now you have to confess you read my mind," he said.

She nodded. "I did, I do not often do that, but you remind me so much of my beloved Hatshepsut..."

"Were you and the Queen, lovers?" asked Sirius curiously.

"Go," she said. "Jerjer is waiting anxiously for you."

"Bye."

Sirius walked back to the boat with a dreamy look on his face. "Sirius, where were you? Mr. Jerjer was thinking of sending out a search party to find you!" said Mia.

"Sorry," said Sirius.

"Ehe, there you are, Mr. Potter," said Mr. Jerjer, pulling him into the boat. "We can go now." No one thought it was necessary to correct him.

Sirius looked around and spotted James, laughing an eating with the girls, and walked over. "I leave you alone for half an hour, and you already have a har-"

Salima looked up at him and he stopped talking. "Shafiq, so it was you, giggling from under the niqab?"

"It's a burqa, Black," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Sorry, burqa," he said.

"Do you want to join us?" she asked him.

"Er."

"Come have this cake, Sirius, it's really good," said James.

Sirius sat down, but he didn't take the cake. "No, I'm good, thanks," he said.

"Why? Are you full? What did you eat?" asked James.

"The sphinx gave a single grape to eat, and I'm telling you, James, I feel so full after eating it!" Sirius whispered.

"What!"

"I Know it sounds crazy, but it's true," said Sirius happily.

"If you say so," said James, stuffing the cake into his mouth. "Perhaps it was a magically enhanced grape. But wait, you can't magically modify food, it's one of the five exceptions of Gamp's Law."

"Hmmm," said Sirius. "Then, how did she do it?"

"Perhaps Being-Magic is follows different rules to Human-Magic," said James, frowning at his sticky hands.

"Perhaps," said Sirius, as James looked around for a paper towel.

"Here," said Salima, handing him one.

"Fanks!" said James, with his mouth full of cake, and Salima giggled. Sirius glanced between the two of them. _What!_

"Pete! Glad you're here," said Remus, picking him up off the rug and dusting his clothes for him. "Want to go for a movie?"

"Yes! Is the new Pink Panther movie out yet?" asked Peter.

"No, it comes out in September, we'll be back in school by then," said Remus.

"Well... there's this musical called Bugsy Malone..." said Peter.

"Anything to get out of the house!" said Remus, grabbing his wallet. "And I like musicals. Let's go!"

Sirius lay on the mat, looking at the stars above. You couldn't see any stars from London. Not even from James' house. It was like Egypt had this special magic which enabled you to see more stars than anywhere else, it was insane. That day, they had seen the Valley of the Kings, Colossi of Memnon, Karnak and Luxor Temples, and it was amazing. Sirius decided he'd become an egyptologist.

"Mind if I ask Sirius if he wants to come along as well?" he heard James ask Salima, and immediately shut his eyes.

"Nope, go ahead."

Then he heard footsteps approach him. "Sirius? Did you want to come watch a movie with us down in the girls' room?" James asked him, but Sirius pretended to be asleep.

"He's sleeping," Sirius heard James whisper to her and opened his eyes to see the two of them disappear down the stairs.  
 _What the heck is going on? Doesn't he like Lily? But then, why the hell was I pretending to be asleep?! I should have gone down with them and sat in between them! But Lily never responds anyway..._  
He shivered and covered himself with the goat-hair blanket. It got really cold in the desert during the nights. He fell into a zen-like sleep, and for what was probably the first time in his life, it was peaceful and absolutely dreamless.

"Everything here tastes better," said Sirius, happily sipping the steaming coffee from his mug.

"It really does," said Mia, grinning.

"We'll be disembarking soon, so I hope you two have all your things packed," said Monty, and they grinned sheepishly back at him.

"Get going then!" said Monty. "We are not keeping Mr. Jerjer waiting again, he got really anxious yesterday."

"Okay! We're going now!" said James, grabbing two more pieces of toast and standing up. Sirius followed him down to their room and started dumping all their clothes into their bags. "Pads, I can't believe you slept out on the deck last night, how was it?"

"It was the best sleep I had in ages," said Sirius, and James smiled.

"Well, that's good, maybe you should sleep outside on the Astronomy Tower every night, then," said James, laughing at him.

"Sure, and freeze to death in the Scottish Winter!"

James laughed again. "I'm sure Moony wouldn't mind keeping you warm," said James.

"What about you and Shafiq last night?" Sirius asked him. "Did you _keep each other warm_?"

"What are you talking about?" asked James, but he blushed a little.

"Oh, you know what I mean," said Sirius, nudging him playfully.

"Er, to be honest, I couldn't do it," James confessed. "She may have been waiting for me to make a move, but I did nothing, we just watched something called James Bond."

"How boring," said Sirius, stuffing his t-shirts into his bag.

"It was actually quite entertaining, you'd like it," said James. "The things muggles can think up is amazing."

Then they heard a knock on the door. "Are you two done yet?" asked Mia, walking in and looking at the clean room around her. "Good, now let's go."

"Bye James!" Salima called from the boat.

"Bye," said James, waving at her. "See you back at school."

Salima smiled. "Yeah, see you."

"Come along, boys, we'll get a taxi to the railway station here in Luxor," said Monty, checking a map. "According to this map, there's a floo station behind the maintenance office."

"Dad, that map you're holding is from the 1920's, not sure if things are the same now," said James, chuckling at his father.

"Also, can you floo seventy-five miles?" asked Sirius.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and find out," said Mia. "It's an adventure."

"Definitely."

Sirius grinned at James as they walked to the taxi. "What?" asked James.

"She likes you, mate," said Sirius.

"Yeah, she's really nice. And funny," said James.

Sirius noticed that James did not say 'I like her too.' "Yeah, what about Lily, right?" he said.

James glanced at his best friend. "Yeah. Lily."

"I hope you don't see her at school, and give her false hopes-"

"I would never!"

"Okay," said Sirius.

"Oh, by the way, Salima said that she received a letter from Dorcas, apparently she's Head girl now," said James.

"That was so obvious, she's really passionate about discipline, sometimes too passionate," said Sirius thoughtfully.

"I know, the number of times she nearly caught us," said James with feeling. "We had to cancel our big Easter prank cos she'd blocked that doorway on the first floor!"

"Yeah! And now, she's Head girl!"

"I wonder who the Head boy is," said James, getting into the taxi.

"I hope it's not that Yaxley," said Sirius, grimacing.

"That friend of Marlene's? God, I hope not!" said James.

"He's not her friend, they were friends, now she hates him," said Sirius.

"Right, yeah," said James.

At long last, September the first, arrived, and it was a Wednesday morning. Lyall took Remus early to the station to meet up with Dorcas and Lily. But the Platform 9 and 3/4's did not look as deserted as they had assumed. There were a number of students already there.

"Congrats, Head girl," said Remus, walking into the Prefects' compartment.

Dorcas grinned. She was wearing her shiny new HG badge. "Thanks, Remus!" she said happily.

" _Head girl_!" exclaimed Lily, and the two of them did a sort of jig together. Remus laughed at them.

"God, I was quite nervous just now, you know, when I came to the station, but seeing you two made me feel much better," she said, sitting down in a seat.

"It's what we're here for, Dorcas! We're gonna be there the whole time," said Lily, and Remus nodded enthusiastically. Dorcas was delighted to hear this, and she immediately put them to work, helping the firsties up into their compartments. Remus and Lily got so busy, they didn't even have time to look for their own friends until after the Prefects' debriefing. Lily and Remus looked in every compartment, searching for familiar faces.

"Oy! Lupin!" someone shouted, and Remus doubled back. It was Francois Antoine of Ravenclaw. "Are you going to be joining us for Potions this year?" he asked, grinning slyly. He was always trying to make fun of Remus for some reason.

"Thankfully no, I'm free of the Dungeons at last," said Remus, and his friends couldn't laugh at that. Remus looked around at the others in the compartment, Amanda Wallace was also there, looking out of the window, pretending she didn't notice him. Remus and Lily continued their journey further down the train and almost crossed a compartment whose blinds were drawn.

"Hold up, what is going on in here?" asked Lily, and knocked on the glass. "Hello, excuse me," she said. No one responded, so they used their wands to open the door- and it was just Marlene and Iker snogging.

"Oh! Hey Lupin! Evans!" said Iker, straightening his tie.

"Piss off you two! We're seeing each other after two solid months!" said Marlene, not letting go of her boyfriend.

Remus and Lily laughed. "We'll go, but you can't draw the blinds, it's against the rules," said Lily and they shut the compartment door again. Then they saw Frank and Alice, and Pratap heaving their trunks over. "Oh hey, Alice!" said Lily.

"Hugs later! All happy reunions have to be postponed for a short while, while we find an empty compartment," said Frank.

"Well, this one just contains Marlene and Iker," said Remus, pointing at the compartment.

"Oh boy, I can guess what they're doing," said Pratap, rolling his eyes.

"They're meeting after two whole months! Give them a break," said Alice. "You'd know if you ever gave someone a chance." She was in fact, talking about one particular someone.

"Well, yeah, I guess I'd know if I had someone," said Pratap, missing the point. "Us single blokes will never understand, isn't that right, Lupin?"

"Um, oh yeah," said Remus, grinning, and Pratap nodded.

Alice looked at Remus curiously. "Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked him directly.

"No," he replied immediately.

"He's lying, isn't he?" she said to Lily.

"No, he doesn't have a girlfriend," said Lily unsmilingly.

"Hmm," said Alice, not believing her. "Oh, by the way, did you hear Elton John's new song?! It's so good! _Don't go breaking my heart!_ "

" _I couldn't if I tried!_ " sang Remus, and Alice squealed and jumped in excitement. "You've listened to it! Oh, Remus, isn't it the coolest?"

Remus chuckled. "It is, I loved it," he said.

"Excuse me, are we going to be singing songs all day, or are you going to let me through?" asked someone, and Remus turned around. It was Melanie Clearwater, seventh year Ravenclaw. Remus moved aside and she huffily made her way around the trunks. But then her leg caught on one of the belts on Frank's trunk and she tripped. "Oh, bother!" she said, getting more annoyed, and stalked off.

"I always thought everyone's always happy to be back, I guess not," said Lily.

"She's angry at me," said Pratap awkwardly. "I wasn't very nice to her, she does that every time we run into each other."

"Oh, right, she took you to Slughorn's Party," said Lily.

"But you like someone else, don't you? That's why you didn't treat her properly," said Alice hopefully.

"I got bored at the party, she doesn't drink, and she didn't let me either," said Pratap, dragging his trunk towards Marlene's compartment and opening the door. "Come on, guys."

Frank followed him in, but Alice stayed back. "Yeah, he came back early from the party, and then spent half the night, playing cards with Mary," she whispered angrily. "He likes her, but he won't admit it!"

"Maybe he's not sure yet, you know," said Remus. "Some people need encouragement."

"Hmm, you're right," said Alice. "Good idea."

"Babe," said Frank, coming out again. "If you need me to help with the trunk, just ask," he said, and dragged her trunk into the compartment. Alice grinned at them and followed her boyfriend in.

"Those two will be the first to get hitched," said Lily.

"I thought they were going to join Auror training?" asked Remus.

"Yeah... well, you can do that after getting married too, right?" said Lily, shrugging.

"Marriage! Sounds so grown-up," said Remus, and Lily laughed.

"Okay, I'll see you later," said Remus, and started walking.

"Desperate to get a glimpse of someone after two solid... weeks?" asked Lily.

"Just a glimpse?" asked Remus.

"Oh, Jesus!"

"You'd know if you ever gave someone a chance," said Remus, echoing Alice's words, but Lily knew what he meant, she rolled her eyes.

Remus discreetly looked into the Marauders' compartment, Peter and James were already tucking into some muffins. They smelled like blueberry. Sirius was searching in his trunk for something, and none of them seemed to be bothered about Remus at all. He pouted.

Then Peter looked over and spotted him. "Moony!" he said, and the other two looked up at him.

Remus waved at them and slid open the compartment door. "Alright, lads?" he said, grinning.

"Yeah, what were you doing, standing outside?" asked Peter.

"Nothing, I was just about to come in," said Remus, glancing at Sirius, who was still bent over his trunk, gaping at him. "Padfoot?"

"Have you been working out?" Sirius asked him, and Remus looked down at his tummy.

"What, no 'hello, I've missed you, Remus'?" asked Remus, grinning. "I was bored, there was nothing else to do, so I exercised," said Remus, shrugging. Peter and James were now looking at him curiously now.

"I wouldn't know, I saw you almost everyday," said Peter.

"Your arms do look a little bigger," said James.

"As in fatter?" asked Remus, looking at his upper arms.

"As in more muscular, silly," said Sirius.

"Gee, thanks," said Remus, trying not to blush under Sirius' blatant ogling.

"Hey Moony, _what's so funny?_ " said Peter, and both of them burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, what exactly is so funny?" asked James, and they laughed again.

"It's a secret code between Moony and Wormy," said Peter. "Padfoot and Prongs not allowed."

"Oh come on, what is it?" asked James.

Peter laughed. "It's nothing, it's just a dialogue from a movie we watched last week, it's called Bugsy Malone," he told them.

"Oh."

"The part where Fat Sam slips," said Remus and the two of them laughed again. "I didn't expect to find it so funny, especially when I saw that the whole cast are children."

"I know, me too!" said Peter.


	70. NEWT Potions

Peter was in the middle of eating a fried egg, when he heard Professor McGonagall telling someone off. The Marauders turned to see who it was.

"I told you last night, that you'll have to wait for me to clear you, to continue with all the subjects you've chosen!" she chided Buach Murphy.

"Yes professor, sorry professor!" he said and hastily returned to the Gryffindor table.

"Mr. Lupin, let me see," she said, taking his timetable, while Peter hastily stuffed the rest of his fried egg into his mouth. "Charms, Transfiguration, Defence, Herbology, Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. Perfect. Do you still want to continue with Astronomy too? It might become really stressful."

Remus nodded. Peter gulped down his pumpkin juice.

"Okay, fine," she said, tapping his timetable so it showed all his new classes. "Your Ancient Runes class starts now, go ahead. And if it does become too much to handle, I trust you will come to see me?"

"Of course, Professor," he said, picking up his book bag. He waved to the Marauders before leaving. Peter didn't see him, as he was now shovelling cornflakes into his mouth at top speed.

"No need to look so crestfallen, Mr. Black, the whole gang will be back together, fourth period, in my class," said Minerva, giving Sirius back his timetable. "Unfortunately," she mumbled to herself, and Sirius chuckled at her.

"We're not _that_ bad," he said, and she decided not to get into the argument just then. " _You love us!_ " he added and she just gave him a look.

"Aren't you going with him, Lily? I thought you were taking Ancient Runes as well?" asked James.

"No, I'm taking Potions, and I can't fit both into my schedule," she replied, and Minerva nodded and handed her back her timetable.

"Mr. Pettigrew, are you sure you want to continue with Charms? You only have an Acceptable in it," said Minerva. She noticed him looking at James and Sirius morosely. "There's no use taking classes just because your friends are in it, you know. Look, you're better off taking Care of Magical Creatures. You got an Exceeds Expectations in it."

Peter still looked unsure. "Mr. Pettigrew, NEWT Charms is very advanced, I'm not sure you'd be able to cope with it," she said, and he continued to look really forlorn.

"Don't worry, Peter, I'll be there with you for Magical Creatures," said Marlene kindly. Peter nodded and the professor replaced Charms with Care of Magical Creatures and returned his timetable to him. His timetable looked completely different now.

Sirius and James walked into the Potions classroom, and it felt really different. They looked at each other and sighed. Firstly, Sirius was going to have to get used to Remus not being there, asking him questions all the time. Secondly, there were so few people there, it looked like half the class was somewhere else. Thirdly, there were three potions already simmering at the front of the class.

James turned to sit at the back of the class, but Professor Slughorn stopped him. "Mr. Potter, we won't have anymore students joining the class, NEWT Potions isn't everyone's cauldron of potion, it seems." Then he laughed at his own pun. "Come to the front and join my star pupils, Mr. Snape and Ms. Evans."

James saw Severus glance at Lily, but she avoided his eyes, busying herself instead, with arranging her things on the table. Sirius and James walked over and sat two places behind Lily, much to Severus' chagrin.

"Okay," said Slughorn loudly, looking at the students in front of him. "Welcome to my NEWT Potions, my dear friends. I only take students into my NEWT classes, who have gotten an 'Exceeds Expectations' or higher. And I must say, some of you have really exceeded my expectations by being here," he said, looking at Balbina Woods and Claire Macmillan, who blushed a little. "Anyway, everyone got your potion kits out? Your scales too? Perfect. No need for those today, haha. Now, if you will please look here, I've already prepared some potions for you to observe, I want you all to come here and make notes on what you observe. Mr. Snape, if you will be the first."

Severus walked over and opened the lid of the first potion. "This is _Veritaserum_ ," he said, and grinned at Lily.

James saw her blush so much, even her neck blushed. "What's that about?" James whispered to Sirius.

"Probably an inside joke about Veritaserum... it'll be something really silly, trust me," said Sirius.

"Ah, Ms. Evans, you seem to know what this potion does. Why don't you come up here and tell us," said Professor Slughorn genially, thinking he was being really cool.

" _What the hell_ ," muttered James, and Sirius laughed at him.

"It's a truth-telling serum, and it's colourless and odourless," said Lily, looking into the cauldron. Severus smiled to himself.

"Perfect," said Slughorn, gesturing them to go back to their seats. "The next potion is also quite unique, Ms. Yi, would you come up here and tell us what it is?"

Lee Ga Yi, Slytherin chaser, walked up to the front boldly and peered into the cauldron. "This is polyjuice potion, capable of transforming the drinker into whomever they want, as long as they add parts of the that person into it," she said.

"Parts?! Body parts?!" asked Sirius, remembering Peter talking about the potions he'd witnessed being prepared, in Transylvania.

"No, no, Mr. Black, things like hair or nail clippings," said Slughorn hastily. Everyone in the class glanced at Sirius, because, of course, that is how a member of the Black family would think.

"Oh, Godric," muttered Sirius, looking down at his textbook, _Libatuis Borage's Advanced Potion-making._ James patted his arm comfortingly.

"Well, er, you're right, Ms. Yi, but one must remember that this potion cannot be used for animal transformations, that would be very dangerous," said Slughorn.

"Will we be stuck as an animal forever?" asked Antoine fearfully.

"That has been known to happen in certain cases," said Slughorn. "But usually, the drinker has an adverse reaction to the potion itself, resulting in vomiting and high fevers."

"Also, you've made it a little runny, I'm guessing you've added a little too much powder of the horn of Bicorn," said Yi, bending over the cauldron and sniffing it. "See, if you do that, the drinker needs a larger portion for the same time period."

"Er, you are right, Ms. Yi," said Slughorn, sweating a little, and wiping his brow with his sleeve. "I did that on purpose to see if anyone would notice it! And you did!" he lied. "Well, you certainly seem to know your polyjuice potion, take ten points for Slytherin."

Yi grinned at him and went back to her seat. James saw her give Ulna Urquart a fist bump and they both looked over at James and smirked.

"You know Prongs, she might know the potions off by-heart, but _we_ don't need to," said Sirius. "We can turn into animals without the help of potions, or transfiguration spells, or anything!"

"You're right," said James.

"Okay, the last but not at all the least," said Slughorn dramatically, capturing the interest of his students again. "Mr. Antoine, if you will please come up here and identify this potion."

Antoine walked up to the front and opened the lid and grinned at the professor. "It's called _Amortentia_ , the world's strongest love potion," he announced to the class, inhaling it deeply, and everyone chortled.

"Mr. Black, would you care to describe the effects of a love potion?" asked Slughorn, and Sirius looked stricken. "Haha, just kidding, of course, no offence intended."

"Full offence taken," said Sirius in affronted tones, making Slughorn a bit nervous.

"Why? What happened to you?" Antoine asked him curiously.

Sirius could see Lily covering her mouth and giggling at him. "Nothing, I just think Love potions are hideous, evil inventions," he replied. Antoine turned back to the potion in front of him. "So glad you think that was funny, Lily," Sirius whispered to her.

"No, I didn't mean to laugh," she whispered back. 'Sorry' she mouthed.

"It's fine, ignore Sirius," James whispered to her, and she turned to face the professor again.

"Yes, well, after certain incidents that took place last year, on which I definitely won't be elaborating, Professor Dumbledore had asked me not to include this potion in my demonstration this year, but I insisted that my sixth-years needed to know to recognise it. He agreed on the condition that I dump all three potions immediately after the lesson," he said pointedly.

"Dumping perfectly good potion?!" squeaked Ulna Urquart, inhaling the potion. "Sweet Salazar, it smells divine! You should keep it at least for the smell."

"That is the one thing I will not be doing, young lady," said Slughorn, chuckling. "The unique thing about this potion, is that it smells different to everyone, because it smells of the things you love the most."

"For sure!" said Ulna.

"What does it smell like to you?" Slughorn asked her interestedly.

"It smells like my apple orchard back home, where I used to love playing as a child, and it also smells like my boyfriend Scafell, it smells like his cologne," she said, blushing slightly, while Lily rolled her eyes. Scafell Scabior was the bloke who had called her a mudblood, back in fourth year. She hadn't forgotten the humiliation.

"Ah, young love, it's divine," said Slughorn, looking into the distance. Everyone in the class exchanged smirks. "Have you made your notes? Good, now go back to your seat, so that the other pupils have a chance to observe the potions," he told her, and she reluctantly went back to her chair. "Come along now, everyone, but two at a time, and make your notes on these potions," he said.

"Come on," said Severus, and he and Walden Macnair reached the potions first. Severus sniffed the potion and looked at Lily in astonishment, and she blushed again, knowing it smelled like her. She was embarrassed, but at the same time, she wondered what she smelled like.

"You're pathetic, Severus," muttered Macnair, glancing between the two of them. Lily heard it, and for once, she agreed with Macnair.

After they were done, Lee Ga Yi went up on her own and made her notes, followed by Antoine and a platinum blonde-haired girl from Ravenclaw, whose name escaped James. A few others went up after them. Finally, only Sirius and James were left.

"Come on, mate, we're the only ones left," said James, trying to make Sirius stand up, but he sagged and didn't want to go.

"Come on, Sirius!" said James, a little louder.

"Not going anywhere near that fucking potion! You make the notes, and I'll copy off you!"

"Come along, Mr. Black, it's alright," said Slughorn and Sirius stood up crossly and walked over. Then he stuffed his tie into his nostrils. "Don't be like that, Mr. Black," said Slughorn, yanking the tie out of his nose. "The smell is the best part. I swear, the smell won't do anything to you."

Some of the students laughed at him, but Lily felt bad for him. She knew what had happened last year, Marlene had told her everything. Sirius slowly approached the potion, holding his breath, and inhaled minutely. The smell was Remus. He inhaled deeply, it felt like he was in Remus' arms. He inhaled again and there was also the essence of something else. Something else that he had smelled in Egypt. Those incense that had been made from that material that had been brought back from the Land Of Punt. _Myrrh, yes, that was it!_ He looked up at Slughorn, and started chuckling.

"I told you, didn't I?" said Slughorn, smiling and nodding at him. "So, what does it smell like?"

Sirius turned around and exchanged a glance with Lily and she smiled back at him, knowing what it smelled like to him. Severus saw this interaction and got extremely jealous. _Why are they smiling at each other? Does it smell like Lily to him, as well? What the hell is going on?_

"Myrrh, and some other things," Sirius replied to the professor and took his notes.

James looked at the mother-of-pearl sheen of the love potion and observed its fumes rising in spirals. "Wonderful," he said, and inhaled. James, one time last year, when all the Gryffindors had been walking down to Care of Magical Creatures, had discreetly sniffed Lily's hair. The potion smelled like her hair. He grinned and smelled it again. It also smelled of beaters' bats and Quidditch gloves. And Lily's hair. Her flowery conditioner. And cherries. He knelt down in front of the potion. "I want to bathe in this potion!" he said, and everyone laughed. As they walked back, he glanced at Lily, and made her blush furiously again. She frustratedly put her head on her hands to hide her face, wondering why the blood didn't just stay there in her face, it was so eager to come up there today.

Before Severus could further ponder her strange behaviour, Professor Slughorn was telling everyone to be quiet. "Since we don't have enough time left to attempt a potion right now, we will be learning the theory to Golpalott's third law. Does anyone know Golpalott's third law?"

Nobody knew it. "Moony would have known if he was taking this class," said James to Sirius, and he nodded. "He knows all of the theory off by heart, even before the class starts."

"What about the first two laws of Golpalott?" asked Antoine.

"We'll be learning the third law first, as it is the most important. Now, take this down," he said, flicking his wand at the blackboard, and writing appeared on it. "Golpalott's third law states that the antidote to a blended poison will be equal to more that the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components," he dictated, and everyone looked utterly confused. Slughorn laughed. "I will explain it to you, and don't worry if you don't get it immediately. We'll attempt an antidote on Monday, so all of you will get a chance to understand it in action."

When the bell rang, James and Sirius still had no idea what Golpalott was trying to say with his stupid law, and were nearly regretting taking NEWT Potions. "I have no clue what any of that meant!" said Sirius, hanging back as everyone left.

"Neither do I," said James. "I guess we have to ask Slughorn to explain it to us again. We do have a free period now!"

"Damn it!"

"Or..." said James, looking at Lily. For some reason, even she was packing her things away, extra-slowly. "We could ask Lily, she looked like she understood it." Sirius nodded. "Er, Lily?"

"No way, I'm busy," she said, looking back at them. "You'd be better off asking someone else... like Severus," she said, grinning.

"No thanks!" said James, frowning, and she giggled to herself.

"Don't worry, if you want, come see me in the evening some time, or over the weekend, I'll explain it to you," said Slughorn. James and Sirius nodded awkwardly at him and left.

"What's going on, Ms. Evans?" asked Slughorn, smiling at her.

"Er, it is alright if I take my notes now, Sir? I didn't do it earlier," she said.

"Of course, take your time, my dear," he said, opening the lids of the potions again. "I don't have any class coming in now."

"Thank you, Sir," she said, grinning at him. Slughorn left her there and walked into his office. She quickly grabbed her notebook and quill and walked over cautiously. She prayed to the Holy Mother, Mary, to not let it be the smell of Severus! Then, she inhaled lightly and smiled. It was a completely unique smell, it smelled fresh, like of newly cut grass and of wand trees, very outdoorsy, and did not remind her of Severus at all. The newness and crispness of the smell sort of captivated her. _Thank you, thank you!_ It also smelled treacle tarts, her favourite dessert. And there was a hint of the smell of that strawberry scented glitter pen she had back home. She inhaled and chuckled to herself. The smell sort of reminded her of something, somewhere, but it was all a blur, perhaps she knew of this smell from a dream.

The professor returned as she was packing her things again. "All done?" he asked her.

"Yes!" she said, grinning at him. "Thanks!"

"You look happy," he observed.

"I am. But Sir, how did Yi know that your potion is runny?" she asked him. "I hadn't even heard of Polyjuice Potion up until now."

"Ah, good question," said Slughorn, gesturing her to come closer. He took out a ladle and scooped up some potion. "Ms. Yi's maternal grandfather is a famous Korean Potioneer, have you heard of the Great Ha See Hyong?"

"Yes, I think he was in the news some time ago... Wasn't he the one who was arrested for attempting illegal human trials for one of his new potion inventions?" she asked.

"That's the one," said Slughorn, chuckling. "So, you see how Ms. Yi would be a great proficient in making the most toughest and most illegal potions."

"Oh," said Lily, not knowing if she should smile or not.

"Observe," said Slughorn, ladling the potion and letting it drip into the cauldron. "The right consistency for Polyjuice potion is thicker and mud-like, almost clumpy. And I've put out the fire underneath, but when it simmers, it bubbles slowly and thickly, think molasses."

Lily nodded seriously.

"And since I'm going to dump this potion anyway, I'll show you how it reacts." He pulled out a couple of hairs from his head and let them fall into the potion. It immediately turned a merry, purple colour. Lily grinned at him excitedly. "That's right, the potion changes in colour and scent when the hairs are added. Sometimes it might become tastier, or really stinky and bad-tasting... depending on the nature of the person whose hairs have been added."

"So, if I were to drink this, I would turn into you?" she asked, amazed.

"Yes, the amount of time for which you will be me, depends on the dosage," he replied.

"That's fascinating, Sir!" exclaimed Lily. "Thank you for showing me."

"Not a problem, dear!" he said kindly. "I had a question, you may choose not to answer it."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Are you and Mr. Snape not talking?" he asked.

Lily's expression changed immediately and Slughorn regretted asking her about it. "No, Sir, if you remember what happened at the end of last year..."

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry I asked! I won't call you two up here together from now on," he said quickly.

Lily gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Sir, you're really kind to me."

"You're one of my favourite students, Lily Evans," said Slughorn jovially.

"Yay!"

Second period continued as Double Ancient Runes for Remus, while Sirius, Peter and James had a free period. Peter complained the whole time how he didn't get enough time to finish his breakfast, until James got fed up, and the three of them went to the Kitchens to get him a snack. Peter was very happy with his slice of apple pie. Third period was Divination for Peter and James, while Remus had Arithmancy with Lily. Sirius went to Muggle Studies on his own. Fourth period was Transfiguration, and all the Marauders were together again. Minerva saw that Sirius was very happy to take his place between Remus and James. Peter, as usual, sat on the other side of James.

"I have so much homework for Runes already! A million translations by tomorrow!" said Remus.

"We didn't get any for Divination," said James, grinning. "We just played cards in class."

Sirius and Remus looked surprised.

"He means we learnt about Tarot Cards," Peter explained, making a face.

"I hate you," said Remus to James.

Sirius laughed. "A _million_ translations, though? Come on," he said.

"Fine, it was three hundred," said Remus crossly, showing Sirius the long roll of parchment, filled with rows of words.

"Don't worry, I got homework for Muggle Studies, we can do it together," said Sirius, winking at him.

"Er, James?" Peter whispered, while Sirius and Remus were busy grinning at each other.

"What's up, Pete?"

"Have you noticed it? Something's wrong with Sirius."

"What? What do you mean?" asked James, genuinely concerned.

"He's been behaving oddly, recently," said Peter. "Look, he was just happy about getting homework!"

James looked at Peter's face, he looked genuinely worried. _Oh, Merlin, what should I tell him?_

"I think the whole incident with his parents really fucked him up," said Peter.

"You know, I think he's just saying that to make Remus happy," said James in the end.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, he's fine."

"Okay, if you say so."

"Welcome to NEWT Transfiguration, everyone," said Minerva. "From the first class itself, we will be learning important content, so please make sure you are paying attention." Everyone fell silent and straightened their backs. "This year, we will be learning non-verbal spells. Can anyone tell me what non-verbal spells are?"

Remus put up his hand. "Spells that are performed by thinking the spell with intention and not saying it out loud," he said.

"You're correct, take five points for Gryffindor," she said.

"But we all knew that, Professor," said Mulciber, annoyed. "It has the answer in the name itself!"

"Well, why don't you try and answer some questions in class then," Professor McGonagall said. "Would you like to tell us more about non-verbal spells?"

Mulciber shook his head.

"Anything you know about them?" said Minerva, prompting him, but he just shook his head again. So Minerva looked around at the class.  
"Non-verbal spells are very useful during duels. Your Professor Arsinoe, the new teacher for Defence Against the Dark Arts, will teach you more about their uses. Now, can anyone here, tell me more about non-verbal spells? Perhaps you've seen someone perform them?"  
Her eyes scanned the faces of the students. "Mr. Potter."

"Me?!"

"Yes, come up here and tell us all something about non-verbal spells," she ordered him, and he had to go up to the front.

"But, professor-"

She looked at him pointedly, and he turned to the front. "Alright, er, non-verbal spells are not easy to perform... apparently this year, we are going to attempt to perform every spell we learnt over the past five years, in non-verbal fashion," he said, and everyone exclaimed.

"Is this true, professor?!" asked Pratap Patil, and Minerva nodded. _Well, at least Potter has taken a look at the syllabus._

"Er, last year, I was in a dark..." James didn't want to say passageway, he didn't want anyone to know he went creeping in passageways. "I was in a dark room, and I was really..." Again, he didn't want to say he was concerned for Remus that day. "I was really scared-"

Some people laughed at him, but James saw Sirius give him a thumbs-up and Remus nodded encouragingly.

"Yeah, I was really scared, and you know, I really needed light, so my wand just lit on its own," he said to the students. "That was the first time I'd performed any spell non-verbally." Then he got a better idea. He took out his wand and thought 'Lumos' and the wand lit.

The whole class was very impressed. "Wow!" said Frank. "Really amazing!" said Alice.

James grinned at them. "Yes, but it's really hard, and that's the only spell I know to do non-verbally."


	71. Private Property

Minerva had been standing to the side with her hands folded, observing James. _Hmm, looks like Euphemia was right about him._  
When he looked over at her, she nodded, and he could see that she was impressed as well.  
"Take five points," she said, gesturing at him to go back to his seat.

"Just five?" he asked her, and Lily rolled her eyes. _This is what he is. As usual, he's ruined the whole feel by acting cocky!_

"Well, if you want more points, I suggest you make a lesson plan for the first practical, and _teach_ it at the next class. If it's good, I'll give you not ten, but twenty-five points," she challenged him.

James grinned at her. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. But only if your lesson is really good. You may ask you friends for help," she said.

"Alright, I'll ace it, you can be sure of that, professor!" he said, walking back to his place.

"We'll see," she said, turning to the blackboard. "Take down notes, please, everyone. Non-verbal spells -"

"Prongs, you were brilliant!" said Sirius, thumping his back.

"Yeah, super!" said Peter.

"Thanks, but I have no clue how to make a lesson plan!" said James, chuckling.

"Don't worry, I'll help you," said Remus.

"Moony, you're a life-saver!" said James.

Sirius had been eagerly waiting to get a glimpse of Remus' fitter body ever since they had got back to school, but somehow, Remus was evading the 'reveal' by changing in the bathroom and emerging fully clothed. So, after a few days, Sirius decided enough was enough. Today he had to see it.

"Stop right there," he ordered, and Remus turned to him.

"Yes?"

"Are you going for a shower?" he asked him.

"No, but-"

"Pete has to shower, he didn't have a shower this morning," said Sirius. "Did you, Pete?"

"No, I didn't, thanks for reminding me, Padfoot," said Peter, and he grabbed his towel and shut the bathroom door.

"What do you want?" Remus asked him.

"Nothing, get changed," said Sirius, and folded his hands.

"You're the weirdest person I know," said Remus and took his shirt off.

"What the heck!" exclaimed James.

"What!" asked Remus. "What happened?"

"How do your arms look like that after only two weeks of training?" James demanded.

"What?" said Remus again, looking at his arms. _Oh, wait... a normal human's muscles don't build so easily._ Then he sighed. "It's nothing special, it's because of the lycanthropy," he said, changing his pants.

"Stop," said Sirius, smiling. "Don't put your t-shirt on, yet."

"Don't be ridiculous," said Remus, putting his shirt on.

"Take that off!"

"What!"

"Take that off right now!"

"Oh Godric!" said Remus, and took off his t-shirt again. "Happy?"

"Immensely, thank you."

"Sirius, this is silly."

"See, you'll never think so, but Moony, you are _hot_ ," said Sirius, and at that exact moment, Peter had opened the bathroom door and heard the tail end of that declaration. He looked at Sirius like he'd gone bonkers.

"Um, I said, are you hot, Moony? Is that why you don't want to put your shirt on?" asked Sirius, and Peter looked at the shirtless Remus incredulously. Remus was always complaining that his feet were cold, and he was always borrowing extra socks from the others. Today, he was feeling hot?

James desperately tried not to laugh, and ended up having to think about those cats that had probably been slaughtered, for their skins to be used in necromancy. And he was suddenly serious again.

"Shall I open the window?" Sirius asked Remus, unsmilingly.

"I'd like that, Sirius, thanks," said Remus, setting his lips in a thin line.

Peter walked over to the cupboard to get his pyjamas out, shaking his head.

James looked at two friends, and then at his third friend. _If the two morons continue on like this, they are bound to get caught. But who knows, maybe that's for the best._ "Well, I'm off!" he announced joyfully to the others, picking up his broomstick.

"Wait, are you holding the team trials today?!" asked Peter excitedly.

"Yeah, did you forget? I told you this morning during breakfast," said James. "But I think we'll only have time to do the beaters today," he said, checking his watch.

"Can I come?" asked Peter.

"Sure, I'll be down in the Common room, come down as fast as you can," said James.

"Good luck, mate!" Sirius told him.

"Yeah, choose the best playing... players, or something like that," said Remus, and James laughed.

Thanks, Moony, thanks, Pads," he said, and went down the stairs.

"This will be so good, Jim Parker and David Bell are both trying out for beater! And Branimir Hristov is still on the team, he'll be chosen first anyway. So, it'll be between them!" said Peter, putting on a Gryffindor jumper. "Aren't you coming, Sirius?"

"No, I want to practise non-verbal charms with Moony," said Sirius, and Remus turned away so Peter would not see him grinning at the pun.

Peter looked at Sirius, full of concern. "What is wrong with you, Padfoot? You hated homework before, but now you seem so eager to do it. Earlier, you would jump at the chance to watch team practices or trials, now you want to stay back and practise _Charms_?" he asked.

"Er," said Sirius.

But then, Peter grinned. "Maybe Moony's studiousness _is_ really rubbing off on you," he said, and went down the stairs.

"There are so many other things of yours I'd like, to be rubbing off on me, Moony," said Sirius, and Remus burst out laughing.

"Lock the door," he said.

"Why?" asked Sirius interestedly.

"I'd like to snog you, that's why," said Remus.

"He's not gonna come back, it's Quidditch," said Sirius. " _Colloportus,_ " he whispered anyway, locking the door.

Remus walked towards him. "That wasn't non-verbal, Mr. Black."

Sirius backed away. "You may snog me, Moony, but under one condition."

"What's that?"

"The t-shirt comes off," he said and grinned cheekily.

"Why do you keep telling me to do that?" asked Remus, pretending not to know anything. "You'll hurt the t-shirt's feelings."

"I won't, that t-shirt knows it's worth," said Sirius, stepping closer to Remus. "It sits on _your_ shoulders after all..."

Remus grinned and put his arms around Sirius. "That's a bit much, don't you think? Sort of an overkill? Like carbonised cheese on the outside of an over-grilled grilled-cheese sandwich."

Sirius laughed at his very specific example. "You say that, but I know you secretly enjoy it, Moony," said Sirius. Remus leaned in to kiss him, but Sirius put his hand over Remus' mouth.

"What? Ugh," said Remus, and took his t-shirt off again. "May I please kiss you know?"

Sirius nodded, but then Remus heard a noise outside. "Freaking fff-fiddlesticks!" he said, putting his t-shirt back on, roughly. _This is the third time!_

Peter banged urgently on the door. "Do you mind opening this door? Or, never mind, _Alohomora_ ," he said, tapping the doorknob and it unlocked.

"Why lock the door? I forgot my scarf, it's so windy outside," said Peter, walking to the cupboard to grab his scarf.

"I was practising the locking charm on the door," said Sirius.

"Okay, bye," said Peter, and he shut the door again, and they heard him go down the stairs loudly.

Sirius fell back onto his bed and huffed. "How did you know he'd be back? And don't say it was the wolf," he said.

"It wasn't, I just thought it would be safer," said Remus, sitting down beside him.

"Now, I just can't help feeling he's gonna come back again," said Sirius, looking put-out.

"He won't, he's lazy, remember?" said Remus, lying down next to him.

"We should just tell him," said Sirius, and Remus turned to face him.

"I also want to, but I don't know how he'd react," said Remus.

"He was fine with you being gay, why wouldn't he be fine with me?" said Sirius, trying to look at it logically. "And then, we'll just have to tell him that we're with each other... oh, shit! What am I saying? He'll hate us!"

"Forget about that now," said Remus, running his finger over Sirius' eyebrow. "I'm just happy, James took him to the try-outs with him."

"I know, he's being so thoughtful, these days," said Sirius, smiling.

Remus curled Sirius' hair around his finger. "He should be more thoughtful and schedule more practices."

Sirius chuckled.

"I grow wary of being constantly interrupted, you know," said Remus in low voice.

"Wormy is unknowingly being very annoying," said Sirius, his heart was racing now.

"It's preposterous," said Remus, kissing Sirius' forehead.

"And Mrs. Potter at the estate?" said Sirius.

"Ugh, I know," said Remus, and kissed his cheek.

"Moony, just kiss me already," said Sirius.

"Sorry, what? Didn't quite catch that?" Remus teased him.

"Will you please _kiss me_ , Remus Lupin?" said Sirius.

"What about the t-shirt?" whispered Remus, bringing his lips an inch from Sirius'.

"I don't give a crap!" said Sirius, and quickly kissed him before he moved away again, and he felt Remus smile against his lips.

On Thursday, Pratap Patil walked up to his room, carrying several heavy books, none of them related to his own studies, of course - they were all Frank's reference books for Transfiguration, that he'd agreed to take up to the room. He carefully opened the door, balancing the books with one hand, but as he took a step forward, the books overbalanced and all of them fell to the floor. And he didn't notice Mary, who suddenly looked up and hid the book she'd been reading, under her bum.

"Oh, Ganesha!" he exclaimed, and crouched to pick the books up. Then he saw a movement and looked up.

"Hey Pratap," Mary said, shiftily looking around the room.

"Hi Mary, glad you're here, mind giving me a hand with these books?" he asked her.

"Do it yourself!" she said, and he shook his head.

"You're such a lazy bum," he said, picking the books up. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Er, I came to return your divination essay, you forgot it in class," she said, pointing to the essay she had placed on the windowsill.

"Thanks," he said. He picked half of the books up and dumped them on Frank's bed beside Mary and went back for the rest. Mary decided to place the book she'd been reading, under one of those books, so she took it out from under her bum and-

"Hey Mary-" Pratap stared at her as she placed it under another big book. "What was that?"

Mary knew she'd been caught, but she pretended anyway, as you do, when you get caught. "What was what?"

"That looked like Frank's diary!" he said, walking up to her. He removed the book from under the big book and his jaw dropped. It was indeed Frank's diary. He opened it to check the name, and of course.

 _Private property of Frank Longbottom_  
 _Are you a Gryffindor or a Slytherin?_  
 _Only turn the pages if you're a Gryffindor._  
 _But if you were a true Gryffindor, you wouldn't be reading this anyway._

"You're such a Slytherin, Mary!" Pratap shouted, closing the diary and putting it in one of the drawers of Frank's bedside table.

"I'm not!" she yelled back.

"You so are! You're a sneaking snake! You slithered upstairs and read the diary! How could you?!" he demanded.

"I didn't come here with the intention of reading it! I came here to return your essay-"

"A likely excuse!"

"I swear!"

"Oh, you swear?"

"Yes!" she said loudly. "I came up here to give you your essay, but no one was here, so I thought I'd just leave it here on the windowsill but then..."

"But then, what, Mary?"

"I saw the diary, peeking out from under his pillow... and I got curious! I'm so sorry!" she wailed.

"I'm not the one you should be apologising to!"

"Please don't tell Frank!" she said immediately.

"How can I not tell Frank?! Of course, I'm going to tell him-"

No, please, Pratap, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I promise," she begged. "I won't tell anyone what he's written in it!" she said desperately.

"God, you're such a child!" he yelled, and Mary hung her head guiltily.

"Please don't tell him..." he mumbled, and Pratap shook his head at her.

"This is why everyone hates you," he said.

She looked up at him. "Hates me? Why does _everyone_ hate me?" she asked him.

"Cos you're like this," he told her.

"Like what?" she asked crossly. "You think I go to everyone's rooms, and start reading all their diaries?"

"You don't get it, do you? Everyone's always wary of what they say in front of you, no one is safe from your gossip train," he accused her.

" _Gossip train?_ " asked Mary, her eyes filling with tears.

"Yes! Your gossip train!"

"For your information, I know so many things about my friends that no one knows, I keep all their secrets, and I never reveal anything unless they expressly give me permission to!" she said, tears streaming down her face.

"But don't you see? This is why no one will ask you out, cos they're afraid you'll gossip about them too, they're afraid of this obsession of yours!" he said to her.

"Oh, so they're ashamed?" said Mary, clearly understanding what he was saying.

"Obviously!" he said, looking angrily at her.

"Are you talking about others, or about yourself?" she asked, and he gaped at her, unable to say anything. "I understand now, why you didn't make a move, I'm glad you took the time to tell me, thank you, Pratap!"

Pratap still didn't say anything. He'd been confused about his own feelings, but she understood fully, what was going on.

"I liked you, Pratap, but now I see you clearly, you are ashamed of me!"

"I am not ashamed of you!"

" _That's_ why you wont ask me out!" she said, wiping away her tears angrily.

No! I wasn't talking about myself," he tried to say.

"No, no, no, wait. I know why you won't ask me out. Its cos you dread other people's remarks," she continued. "You are embarrassed to be seen with me! You're afraid they'll make fun of you for being with someone like me!"

"Mary-"

"Don't think you can just waste my time, alright?" she said.

"I wasn't-"

"Oh, really?" she asked him, sobbing. "You're always spending time with me, making me think you like me, but never making a move. What do you call that?!"

"But I do like you!" he admitted. "I want to be with you."

"Well, guess what? I don't want _you_!" she yelled, pointing at him. "I dont want someone who's embarrassed to be seen with me! So goodbye!" she yelled, and ran from the room, sobbing.

"No, Mary, wait!" said Pratap, following her out.

"I am never talking to you again!" she said loudly, thundering down the stairs.

"Mary, wait. Please I-"

But she covered her ears as she reached the landing. She strode off towards the girls' door, and he quickened his step, knowing he wouldn't be able to follow her up. He reached out and grabbed her arm to make her stop, and she wrung her hand to make him let go. "DON'T!" she yelled and he froze in his step. Everyone in the Common room looked up at them.

"Don't follow me, and especially, don't touch me," she said in a very low voice, and slammed the door in his face.

"Merlin, I wonder what happened there?" said Peter, as Lily and Alice ran up the stairs.

"What the hell did you do, Pratap?" asked Lily, as they opened the door to the girls' side. But they didn't seem to require an answer, they shut the door again, and ran up to their room.

The Marauders watched as Pratap put his hand on his forehead, thinking about what just happened. Then he looked down at the students in the Common room, spotted his friends, and slowly walked down the stairs towards their table. Frank and Buach looked at him as he sat down heavily in an empty chair and sighed.

"You could tell us what happened," Frank suggested, after a couple of minutes.

Pratap exhaled forcefully. "Girls. Are. Impossible," he said, and the other two chuckled.

"Tell me about it," said Frank.

"Do you know what just happened? I went upstairs to put your books back, and I found her up there, reading your diary!" said Pratap, in a low voice.

"Excuse me?!"

"Exactly! So, I yelled at her!"

"And rightfully so! Why was she reading my diary? How much did she read?" asked Frank worriedly.

"I don't know."

"Why didn't you ask her?!" Frank demanded. "What the fuck is going on here!"

"I didn't get to ask her, cos I was yelling at her," said Pratap.

"Oh, wonderful!" said Frank.

"Why is Frank so upset now?" asked Peter.

"Pratap, what happened, mate?" asked Sirius, from the next table.

"What happened? Oh, let me tell you what happened," said Pratap. "Mary, being the wonderful girl that she is, she did this thing, you know... it was a terrible thing! And when I pointed it out to her, she turned the whole thing onto me!"

"Yeah, girls often do that," said Frank, nodding. "It's amazing how they manage to do that almost every time you try and point out something, that they did wrong."

"It's a talent they're born with," said Buach. "But, to be honest, you did say, you yelled at her about it, you didn't point it out normally."

"Yeah, you should never yell at girls," said Frank.

"Were you yelling at her because you were already mad at her, or did you just get mad at her?" asked Remus.

"What does that even mean? Stop confusing me further," said Pratap.

"What exactly did she do?" asked Peter curiously.

"No, I can't tell you that, but you know how she is with that obsession of hers," said Pratap.

Remus smiled at him. "So, if we assume it's about gossiping, were you yelling at her because she gossiped today, or for all the gossiping she ever did?"

"All the gossiping she ever did, but so what? I was right, and she was wrong," said Pratap.

"It's never about who's right and who's wrong," Frank explained, like an expert. "Chances are, you're both right. But, it's about whose fault is bigger."

"Oh," said Pratap, finally realising what he'd done.

"Yeah, so you always have to apologise first, since you're probably always going to be the one at bigger fault," said Frank, smirking. Pratap grimaced, but nodded.

"You speaking from experience, Frank?" asked James.

"Yes, I am," said Frank, shrugging. "And when she calms down, she's also going to apologise."

"Really?" said Buach.

"You can be sure of it," said Frank. "Alice usually apologises like a hundred times after," he said, grinning.

"Mary actually already apologised to me," said Pratap, grimacing again.

"So why the heck did you continue to yell at her?" asked Buach.

"For a lot of other things, they all just came out," said Pratap. "Fuck!" he put his face in his hands.

"You should never bring up other things in the middle of an argument," said Frank, like a wise old owl. "Always keep things specific."

"Looks like you really messed up, mate," said Buach, and the Marauders looked at each other.

"I know, I know!" said Pratap. "What should I do?"

"Apologise. A hundred times," said Frank, smiling at him. "And apologise for every single thing that you did, not just for one thing."

"Okay," said Pratap, nodding seriously. "I will really apologise a hundred times. The first one is going to be this apology note." He took out a piece of parchment from his bag, and started writing.

"Yeah, good idea," said Frank. "And you could also ask Alice what to do, she gives good advice about these things, I know Iker has asked her a few times..."

"Where is Iker, by the way? He said he was going to clean the room today," asked Buach.

"Where do you think he is?" said Frank, smirking again, and Buach nodded, understanding.

The Marauders turned back to their own table again. James thought about what he just heard, and he understood what Professor McGonagall had been trying to make him see, last term. That no one was going to listen to you if you try and teach them something by making them feel uncomfortable.

Peter shook his head. He wondered to himself, why girls nitpicked everything in a conversation? Why did they make everything so complicated? Clearly, he had a lot to learn, still.

Remus, on the other hand, marvelled at girls' ability to be completely sure of themselves before entering into any relationship. Quite unlike what he'd done with Sirius, but luckily, it had all worked out in their case anyway. He was happy.

Sirius wasn't thinking at all, he was checking the Marauder's map, and laughed when he saw the dots labelled Marlene McKinnon and Iker Gomez, in an abandoned classroom.

Remus peered at what he was doing. "Padfoot, you're completely shameless!" he scolded him, taking away the Marauders' map from his hands. Sirius just laughed.

"Frank is really... like he's really wise," said James.

"He is, it's like he's a bit too wise for his age," said Peter.

"Look at him," said Sirius, looking over at Frank's table. "You can almost see the wisdom emanating from his forehead."

"Such erudition!" said Remus, grinning.

"The clearsightedness," said Sirius.

"Okay, I don't know if you're being sarcastic or not," said James, looking confused.

"Look at him," Sirius said, now turning to James. "You can almost see the cluelessness emanating from his forehead."

"Such naivety!" said Remus, chuckling.

"Oh, shut up!"


	72. Beetles

**Author's note: I couldn't upload yesterday cos I moved houses and don't have WiFi yet. I tried to use my mobile data, but I couldn't access the site. Then I found out that this website has been blocked over here since 2017, Malaysia and Indonesia being the only two countries on Earth that have blocked it due to 'the lewd and explicit nature of its erotic stories' :| :| :|  
I mean, _grow up._  
Some WiFi's allow its access, like the one at my parents'. But not with mobile data. So I had to download another browser, and can now access it again, thank God! I'm usually the opposite of what you would call 'tech-savvy', so I'm quite proud of myself now. I love this website, dunno what I would've done if I wasn't able to complete my beloved story. Move to the neighbouring Thailand to complete it?! Anyway, here's the next chapter :D :D  
**

* * *

Mary burst into her dorm room, flung herself onto her bed, sobbing loudly. Alice and Lily quickly entered the room behind her and shut the door.

"Mary, sweetheart, what happened?" asked Alice, sitting down beside her.

Mary kept sobbing.

"What did Pratap say to you, Mary?" asked Lily, and it sounded like her sobbing had increased in volume. They exchanged glances.

"Mary? Mary!" said Alice, shaking her. "Please talk to us."

"Hesaidhe'sashamedofme!" she wailed.

"What?" said Lily. "Sorry, honey, but we didn't get that at all."

"He didn't ask me out because he's embarrassed to be seen with me!" she said, turning around to face her friends.

"What!" said Lily, getting really angry.

"He actually said that?" asked Alice, unable to believe it.

"Well, no, but-"

"Tell us from the start," said Alice.

Mary walked over to her trunk like an Inferus, rummaged around in her trunk and pulled out a bottle of alcohol.

"Uh-oh," said Alice.

"Mary, what is that?" asked Lily, as Mary ripped out the seal of the bottle.

"Daisyroot Draught..." she replied, taking a long swig of the drink. "My cousin was gifted a lot of alcohol for her house-warming party, so she gave this one to me... thought I'd save this for a special occasion..." she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears again. Then she took another swig. "This seems like a special occasion!"

"I don't think-" Lily was about to say she didn't think it was a good idea to mix alcohol and tears, but Alice shook her head. It didn't look like there was anything else they could do to help her.

Then Mary came back to her bed and started to tell them everything that happened.

Downstairs, Iker and Marlene walked into the Common room, murmuring sweet nothings in each others' ears and giggling.

"Hi Marlene, glad you're here," said Pratap, finishing his apology note. "I need you to give this note to Mary."

But Marlene and Iker had eyes for no one else. They had their arms around each other, and they were giggling and snogging.

"Guys, please, I'm in a bit of a crisis here," said Pratap.

Finally, Iker let Marlene go, and she turned to Pratap. "What were you saying, Pat?" she asked, grinning.

"Don't call me Pat, it's Patil," he said, annoyed. "I was asking if you'd give this note to Mary, please?"

"Oooh, what is this? A love note?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Is that all you two can think about?" said Buach.

"It's an apology," said Pratap bleakly. Marlene raised her eyebrow quizzically. "We had an argument."

"By that, he means they had a huge fight, you'd better go check on your friend, actually," said Frank.

"Whoa, really?" said Marlene, taking the note with a wry expression.

"Er, yeah," said Pratap. "Thanks."

Marlene blew a kiss to Iker and walked over to the staircase. "See you later, mi cariño," said Iker.

"Good _Godric_ ," said Buach.

"¿Qué pasa?" asked Iker.

"You two are so loved up, it's nauseating," he replied. Iker just chuckled.

Alice looked really tight-lipped when she heard what Mary had done. "I'm really sorry, Alice, honest! I know it was awful of me to read his diary," said Mary. "I'll apologise to Frank, as well. And I swear to you, Alice, I'll never read someone else's diary as long as I shall live."

Alice nodded. "Okay."

Then, Mary continued with her story, until Marlene came upstairs. "Hey Mary, what's going on? I have this note that Pra-" She stopped talking when she saw Alice and Lily gesturing wildly at her to stop. Then she noticed Mary's face. "What's going on?" she asked concernedly. She decided she'd give Pratap's note to her, only after consulting with the other two, and when they would be sure she was feeling better.

When Mary finished telling her story, all the other girls were very angry at Pratap on her behalf, and called him a number of names, making her feel marginally better. But despite that, it still took a long time for them to calm her down and put her to bed.

"She's gonna have one _hell_ of a hangover tomorrow," muttered Marlene, taking the half-finished bottle out of Mary's hands, and Alice nodded.

"Really?" asked Lily.

"Yeah, Daisyroot Draught is similar to other fortified wines, like Sherry, the alcohol content is quite high, around twenty-eight to thirty-five percent," Marlene explained.

"Cripes!"

Mary didn't go to classes the next day, and Professor McGonagall was very unimpressed when she found out the reason. "Ask her to come and see me when she feels better," she said to Lily.

"Yes, professor," said Lily. Then she sat in her seat and waited for her classmates to show up. As she waited, she observed the professor prepare for class. Minerva placed a sheet of parchment on every table. "Professor, do we have a surprise quiz today?!"

Minerva gave her a small smile. "Yes. But you don't need to worry if you've paid attention in the last two classes. I'm sure you'll have no problem, Ms. Evans," she told her.

"Okay," said Lily, looking at the sheet. She was confident she could do well in the quiz, but then she came across a fill-in-the-blank question, and she had no clue what the answer was. She felt like the professor would think it was cheating if she opened her book now, to look up the answer. So, she waited. And when the professor went into her office for a moment, she quickly opened her notes and searched them. But it looked like there was a small part missing at the start of her notes. _Shit!_ She remembered why there a gap. _What a completely stupid thing to do._ In the first class, when James had shown everyone his non-verbal _Lumos_ and walked back to his seat, the professor had immediately started her dictation of the notes. But instead of immediately copying them down, Lily had spent a couple of minutes staring at James. She thought she would later copy the notes from Alice, but she'd forgotten. _Oh, Lily! You're an idiot!_

When the other students arrived, the professor announced to everyone about the quiz, and she told them to take a seat. Just before the quiz began, Pratap passed her a note. It was for Mary, his third apology note.

"Stop, what is that?" asked the professor.

Lily hurriedly put it in her bag. "Nothing, I've put it away, professor," she said.

But Minerva held out her hand and she had to give it to her. She took the note and read it. It said, _Dear Mary, I should never have yelled at you, I'm so sorry. -PP._ Minerva wanted to laugh, but she didn't. Instead, she assumed a stern face. "Mr. Patil, do you know why I have a no-passing-of-notes policy in my class?" she asked. She had put this policy in place when she had confiscated a parchment from the Marauders', which had an entire conversation about Professor Dumbledore's broken nose on it. Godric only knew how they'd been doing that and answering questions in class at the same time.

"No, professor," said Pratap.

"Because, when you pass a note, the receiver will either read it, and get distracted, or they will wonder what's in the note and get distracted. The sender will also be distracted, thinking about the content of the note. And you know me, I don't like distractions in my class," she said, giving the note back.

"Yes, professor. Sorry, professor," he said.

"Now, you all may be wondering, a quiz this early in the term? Yes, well, it's so that you can each find out how much attention you're really paying in class, and if you need to improve," she said. "This is a sort of self-evaluation, but I will be collecting them at the end of the test. Go ahead." And everyone started writing.

Lily wondered if the Marauders knew the answer to that fill-in-the-blank, because they'd been talking at that time too, and she unconsciously turned to look at them. Her eyes met James' and she quickly turned to the front again, cursing herself. _Why did I do that?!_

After the quiz, Minerva called James up. "Your turn, Mr. Potter," she said.

"You can do this, James," said Sirius.

"Good luck," whispered Peter.

James nodded and slowly walked up to the front, holding a cardboard box. Then he stopped and said, "Moony," and everyone chuckled.

Remus had stayed up really late into the night to help James prepare for this class, and was in the middle of a gigantic yawn when he'd called. He abruptly tried to stop yawning, which wasn't really possible. "Merlin," he whispered, and got to his feet and followed him to the front of the class, while Sirius and Peter laughed at him.

James handed Remus a parchment, Remus took it and nodded curtly at him.

" _Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts. Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned,"_ said James, and Sirius burst out laughing. Even some of the other students chuckled.

"He's so cheeky!" exclaimed Alice to Lily.

"I don't get it," she said.

"That's the very first thing Professor McGonagall told us in first year!" said Alice, giggling.

"Very funny, Mr. Potter, I suggest you get on with the lesson," she said, folding her arms and trying to look like she wasn't impressed.

"Of course, Professor," said James. "Along with that, in our first class, if you all remember, Professor McGonagall had also taught us how to turn matchsticks into needles - the most basic switching spell. But surprisingly, we couldn't find any matchsticks last night, I actually sent Sirius to look for some, but it seems no one at Hogwarts are in possession of any matchsticks. Not even the house elves or the teachers. _Why though_ , you may be wondering. That's because we're a school of Magic, that's why."

"James," said Remus.

"Oh, yeah, okay. So, to teach you all how to do this spell, I realised I should probably know how to do it, right?" said James.

"How intelligent you are, Potter," said Mulciber, from the back, and James lost his train of thought, and then he just stood there, blinking. The Slytherins laughed at him.

"Why?" said Remus, to Minerva. "Why do we have Transfiguration with the Slytherins? This is harming his process."

Before Minerva could reply, some Slytherins laughed. "Oops, sorry Lupin, we weren't aware that Potter was such a _sensitive_ little flower," said Mulciber, and everyone laughed again.

"Move those lips again, _Nefarius,_ and I will switch them out for Keelback slugs-" Remus said, raising his wand threateningly, and Minerva stopped him.

"Enough! Mr. Potter, go ahead."

Lily chuckled to herself, and Marlene turned around to look at Sirius, astonished. He smirked at her.

"So, we decided to do it with beetles instead, hurrah!" said James, opening the box. "You can thank Sirius and Peter for the assortment of beetles they managed to find in the grounds."

"I'm sorry, but when did you do all this?" asked Minerva, a bit surprised. "How did you find so many beetles?"

Peter had a vivid recollection of himself, scurrying through the undergrowth in rat form, gently picking up the beetles and placing them in a cardboard box, held by a dog. He and Sirius swallowed nervously. "We - we love beetles," said Sirius lamely.

Minerva still looked dubious, but James went on. "Haha, I first thought I could use a transfigured matchstick instead, we actually transfigured a small stick into a matchstick, and then tried to transfigure it into a needle, but it didn't work."

"What do you mean?" asked Milla Larsen.

"Well, transfiguring already-transfigured items is not recommended, unless you're an expert," explained James, glancing at Minerva. "Their molecular structure becomes unstable."

She nodded. "Yes, it is possible, but not for students who still learning to transfigure," she said. "Usually, I tell my students to untransfigure the item before transfiguring it again. And since you're all learning to do it in the non-verbal way, it was the right thing to do, good call, Mr. Potter."

"Thanks, professor. So, Moo- Remus will be holding out the box, take a beetle each, and try not to kill them please, Peter says he worked very hard to procure them," said James, and everyone laughed again.

"He's right, especially since the circumference of the beetles had to be approximately button-ish," said Peter to Frank, and Frank and Buach were in awe. Peter had exercised great restraint last night, because, as a rat, the beetles had looked and smelled really delicious. He had no idea how he had stopped himself from biting into them when he was carrying them in his little mouth.

Remus walked around the class, holding out the box, and everyone took a tiny beetle each. Mulciber somehow looked a little subdued as he took his beetle. Severus didn't make eye-contact with Remus. He just took the beetle. Lily noticed that the reason the box was so wide, was that it had enough space for the beetles to move around in it. There were dead leaves, little stones and soil at the bottom too. She thought she also spotted a couple of dead earthworms in there. _Food for the beetles?! This is unreal._ Even Professor McGonagall didn't do that much for the animals she brought in.  
Then she thought it had to be Remus who did all that, cos he loved all living things, and couldn't bear to see them in pain or discomfort.

"So, now that you all have your beetles, what you want to do, as we did in our very first -fig class, is visualise a button, it's specific colour, make and model," said James.

"We know all that, tell us how to do it non-verbally," said Parkinson.

"I was coming to that," said James patiently. "What most people do when they try to perform a spell non-verbally, is they concentrate too much on the incantation. Er..." he said, looking at Remus.

"Which is a bad thing because...?" prompted Remus.

"Right, and that's a bad thing, because, then, you are not focusing on the structure of the button itself. But that doesn't mean you don't focus on the incantation at all, you have to do both, but it's like a seventy-thirty," said James. The students nodded, even Parkinson.

Remus looked around the class and smiled to himself when he saw that some of the students were actually taking down notes. _Amazing! Even if one person learned to perform the spell properly today, it would be a success._ He was so proud of James.

"Yes, that is a very good point, Mr. Potter, I suggest everyone write that down, you won't be finding such tips in your textbooks," said McGonagall.

"Okay, now you all know the incantation, so go ahead and try the spell," said James. "Oh, and remember, put the beetle on your desks before attempting the spell, you don't want to be transfiguring your palm!" He sheepishly showed everyone his palm, which was bandaged lightly. "Madam Pomfrey will be very cross with me if I send more students her way, with the same injury."

Everyone in the class chuckled, and started attempting the spell. James and Remus grinned at each other. "You're doing great, Prongs," Remus whispered.

"I can't believe I'm doing this at all," said James. "I mean, if you had told me I would be teaching a class even a term ago, I would've laughed in your face!"

Remus chuckled, but Minerva cleared her throat behind them. "Teaching is not standing around and laughing, you have to move amongst the students and observe them... help them if they have doubts. Some students won't think to ask a doubt, unless you're passing by them."

"Will do, professor," said James, and walked amidst the the rows of desks, observing the students.

Arvid and Milla Larsen had both transfigured their poor beetles into hideous half-organic half-plastic devil arthropods. "Potter, help!" called Arvid.

James transfigured them back into beetles and smiled at them. "Don't get discouraged, I had to practise more times than you two, to reach even this level," he told them, and they grinned at him.

James passed the Slytherin side warily, and stepped carefully over Ulna Urquart's strategically placed leg, she'd been trying to trip him. Then he heard a loud sigh.

"I hate my life," said Gabriele Moreno-Selwyn, looking down at his blue plastic button with legs. It was trying to crawl to the edge of the desk.

"Try again, Moreno," James told him. "Be patient with yourself."

"Hey Snape, whispering the incantation doesn't count as non-verbal," he then told Severus, who scowled up at him. The people around him laughed.

"Hey Potter," Lee Ga Yi whispered. James turned around to look. She showed him a perfect white button in the palm of her hand.

"Wow, Yi, that's really good!" he said, but she laughed.

"Just kidding, I haven't done it yet," she said, taking her beetle out of her front pocket.

James chuckled. She attempted her transfiguration and ended up with another devil arthropod. "You'll get the hang of it, soon," he told her.

"I know I will," she replied."But can I just say something? My family name is actually not Yi, but Lee, since in Korea, we write our family names first."

"Oh, so I should be calling you Lee," he said.

"You can call me Yi, everyone does," she said, smiling. "Oh by the way, I heard you and Shafiq spent some time together on an Egyptian cruise," she said, and grinned. A few of the girls in the class looked over at them in interest.

"Oh, gosh. Er, yeah, we did," he said. "It was a coincidence that we were on the same cruise. Sirius was there with us too," he added, pointing at Sirius.

"But Shafiq told me Black was busy day-dreaming, most of the time," she said.

James laughed. "He was, that is also true," he said. "But- you know this isn't a time to be chatting about cruises, you should be transfiguring."

"Yeah, this isn't the time to be chatting about _dates_ on cruises," she said, smirking, and getting back to her beetle.

James made a wry face at Remus, and he grinned broadly at him. Then, he saw something that annoyed him intensely. Walden Macnair was slowly plucking out the legs of his beetle, one by one, and he looked like he was enjoying it. "Macnair, you psycho!" James said loudly.

"Mind your own business, Potter!" he said, glaring at him.

"This is my business, stop that right now!"

"What's going on there?" asked Minerva, approaching them.

"He's plucking the legs of his beetle! He's pulling them out, torturing it!" said James, pointing at Macnair.

"Beetles don't feel pain!" Macnair yelled.

"Maybe not, but they do experience nociception, the response to potential or direct harmful stimuli. This is very inappropriate behaviour, Mr. Macnair, I'm going to have to put you in detention," said Minerva, and she saw the three legged beetle and the other three legs on his desk. "Come see me at eight, tonight."

Macnair glared at her, then nodded. And when she walked away, he flicked James off. James wanted to punch his stupid arse, but Remus stopped him. "Let's go, er, Sirius has a question," he said quickly.

James walked over to his place and sat down, fuming. "What a psychopath! He's insane," he said.

"That he is," agreed Sirius. "You already know that, why did you get so angry?"

"You know, I bet even if McGonagall makes him write an essay on why people should be kind to animals, he probably won't get it!" said James.

"That's because some people are born that way," said Peter. "You can't change them."

"Yeah... unless you put in a lot of personal time and effort, and normally, people only do that for people they care about," said Remus, looking over at Macnair. "And I don't think Macnair has a girlfriend, or even any close friends."

"Yeah, only cronies, who enjoy what he does," said Sirius, shaking his head, remembering that Regulus was in a similar position.

"How is it that you managed to make me feel bad for Macnair, Remus? You've got a real talent," said James, and Remus laughed.

When the bell rang, everyone started packing up. "Those who haven't yet achieved the non-verbal switching, please practice," said Minerva, placing the cardboard box on the first desk, so everyone can put their beetles back in it.

James walked up to her. "So how was my lesson? Up to your standards?" he asked her.

"It was good, I can give you fifteen points," she said, picking up a sheaf of parchments from the desk.

"Fifteen?! But you said twenty-five!" yelped Sirius. Most of the Gryffindors hung back to listen to the argument, grinning. _This should be good._

"That's ten less than what you promised," said Remus.

"I don't remember promising anything, I said I'll give you twenty-five points if it is really good," she replied, folding her arms.

"What did I do wrong?" asked James.

"Nothing."

"Well, what should we have done to improve it?" asked Remus.

"Nothing, like I said, it was good," she told them.

"But you expected better," said James.

"To be honest, I didn't know what to expect with you Marauders," she said.

"But why won't you give him full points?" demanded Peter.

"Yeah, more than half the class can now turn a beetle into a button, non-verbally," said Remus.

"Fifteen points, this is my final decision," she said, showing them the door. "Good day, gentlemen."

Then, James understood. "This is my punishment, isn't it? For... for what happened- last term," he said.

"Is it?!" asked Remus, distressed.

"You are so cruel!" Sirius accused her.

"Mr. Potter, tell me this. Did you do this for the points or for the challenge?" she asked him calmly.

"For the challenge, I guess, but winning the points is definitely a bonus," he said with a set expression. "Fine, come on lads, I'm hungry."

He made to walk away, but Sirius wouldn't move. "You said twenty-five points," he repeated to the professor.

"Come on Sirius," said James, pulling his hand. Remus picked up the cardboard box.

"You're breaking my heart, Minnie," said Sirius, but he allowed himself to be dragged away by James. "You can't do this," she heard as they exited the classroom. "We'll organise a strike... we'll... we'll..."


	73. Manticore

**Author's note: To the guest who gave me a wonderful review, saying they're a fan of Wolfstar because of my fic, Omg Omg Omg thank you _so much_! I can't believe itttt! I love Wolfstar too, I've read so many versions of it, and I like all of them hahah. I think it's sublime how the concept of Wolfstar emerged from practically nothing, into the phenomenon that it is today :D :D :D  
**

* * *

Then Sirius seemed to fall silent, and even from a distance, Minerva could literally hear ideas forming in his head. _Oh, damnation!_ She remembered all those subtle pranks the Marauders had pulled on her over the years. One time, Minerva had felt thirsty in the middle of the night, and picked up her copper jug. When she opened the lid and looked in, there was a goldfish swimming in it! She'd known immediately that it was the Marauders. That'd been their first prank, really subtle, but effective. Another time, after dinner, she had sat down to grade the third years' essays, and the desk wobbled like jelly, nearly giving her a heart-attack. And another time, she walked into her office, and her rug made fart sounds every time she took a step on it. And yet another time, when she had punished Peter by forbidding him from going to Hogsmeade one Saturday, she'd found all her possessions in her office intensely scented with Vetiver. There were so many others, that time her own bedroom door had demanded she answer a riddle to enter, that time she found all the NEWT essays plastered across the ceiling, that time her whole office floor was covered in doilies (right after she had been overheard mentioning to Pomona Sprout, her intense dislike for doilies), that time she walked into her office to find salad forks arranged in different designs on her wall... there were a dozen other occasions. She had even enjoyed a few, not that she would ever let them know, though. She knew Sirius wouldn't let this go, he was definitely going to try something. Then an idea formed in her own head. _Yes._

Alice and Marlene ran the boys. Lily followed at a more sedate pace. "Wait, James!" said Alice, catching up to him. "Did I hear Yi right? You went on a date with Salima Shafiq, on a cruise?"

"Merlin, she just invited me for lunch with her cousins, you can hardly call that a date," he told the girls.

"Don't be modest, you went and watched a movie together in her room!" revealed Sirius, much to James' annoyance. Then he grinned roguishly in his face.

"Excuse me? Was it just a movie or more than that?" asked Marlene, grinning.

"Just a movie!" said James, blushing a little at the implication.

"Why don't I believe you, then?" asked Marlene, poking him in the side.

"Look-"

They suddenly heard a loud shriek, and a shout, "GOT YOUR CONK!" and they all whipped around. Peeves was flying away from Lily, laughing maniacally. They all walked up to her. She was rubbing her nose. "Are you okay?" asked Alice.

"Yeah, ghost hands, it was just really cold, he crept up behind me and grabbed my nose!" she said, a little breathlessly.

" _Rudolph the red-nose reindeer,_ " sang Sirius, and everyone chuckled, even Lily. She squinted down at her red nose.

"Can we go and eat, please?" Peter requested, and everyone chuckled again.

"Sure, Petey," said Sirius, putting his arm around his shoulders.

"Don't call me Petey!"

"Hey Remus, those delegates are coming this Friday night," said Lily.

"What! Oh what crupshit! I have so much homework!" he said. "I can't afford to waste so much time."

"You better drop Astronomy, then!" said Sirius.

"What! No, I have to study it, besides, Jeshua Fancourt is coming," he said happily.

"Who are these delegates, anyway?" asked Peter.

"When Professor Dumbledore went to attend the General Assembly this year, he had the opportunity to personally meet with Jeshua Fancourt and the Honourable Kang Po, and a few others. He's invited them all to come to Hogwarts to give us NEWT students some lectures!" she said.

"Amazing!" said James. "Jeshua Fancourt is the son of Perpetua Fancourt, right? The lady who invented the Lunascope?"

"Yes! And the Honourable Kang Po is the descendant of the dragonologist Quong Po!" she said.

"Fascinating!" said he said.

"Er, General Assembly to what?" asked Alice.

"The International Confederation of Wizards, of course," said Remus. "Dumbledore's on the British panel."

"That's pretty cool, I had no idea. Wait, I think I've heard of this Quong Po somewhere," she said impatiently. "It's on the edge of my tongue."

"On a Chocolate Frog card?" asked Lily, smiling.

"That's it!" said Alice joyfully.

"Yeah, that's the dragonologist, he discovered the uses of powdered Chinese Fireball eggs," said Remus.

"Who else is coming?" asked Peter.

"I think Professor McGonagall also mentioned your dad, James," said Remus.

"What!" Everyone laughed.

"Just kidding," said Remus, smiling sweetly.

Marlene laughed. "Remus, do you really know a spell that switches lips out for keelback slugs, because that will be the most disgusting thing I've heard of!" she said. Everyone laughed again.

"No, I don't."

"Aw, pity, cos that would have been hilarious," said Peter.

"Um, no, that would've been horrifying!" said Alice.

"It would be interesting to see if the slugs stay there or move around on the face," said Sirius, and the girls made noises and squeals of disgust, while he, Peter and Remus laughed.

"Ew ew ewwww!" "Yuck!"

"I think I've lost my appetite!" said James.

Lily nodded at him. "It's disturbing," she said. As they walked into the Great Hall, she stopped Remus. "Wait, Remus! You're not gonna bring those beetles into the Great Hall, are you?!"

"Oh no, of course not," he said, glancing down at the box. "Er, I'll just release them and return."

"Okay, I'll go with you," said James.

"No, I'll go," said Peter. He intended for James to sit beside Lily at lunch.

"Okay, but some of the Slytherins have not transfigured the buttons back," said James.

"I'll take care of it," said Remus.

"See you in a bit," said James, and he and Sirius walked in with the girls, trying not to grin.

On Friday night, Lily, Remus and Dorcas went down to receive the delegates. "Have you put away those cartons, Remus?" asked Dorcas as they hurried down the stairs.

"Yes, I have," said Remus.

"Oh Godric, five flights of stairs left!" said Lily, wiping her sweaty brow. "I think they're already here!"

"Hurry!" said Dorcas.

"Wait, wait! There's a shortcut to the Entrance Hall, come on!" said Remus, turning right. He approached the portrait of a noble-looking man.

"Password?" the man asked.

"Manticore!" said Remus, and the portrait swung forwards to reveal a dark corridor. "Come on!"

The girls followed him without question and they walked only like twenty metres and came out into the side-room of the Entrance Hall.

"Amazing!" said Dorcas. "Who was that man?"

"Norvel Twonk."

"I thought the Fat Lady was the only portrait who guarded a secret entrance," said Lily, looking bug-eyed. "But with so many portraits all over the castle, it was pretty dim of me to think so."

"I know one passageway on the second floor," said Dorcas. "It's guarded by a the portrait of a hag."

"There are about eight of those at Hogwarts," he told them, straightening his robes. "Seven known portraits, that is."

"Whoa!"

"Oh, Ms. Meadowes, there you are, and Ms. Evans," said Professor McGonagall. "Mr. Lupin, please straighten your tie, it looks like a fishing knot!"

Remus hurriedly tried to straighten his tie, but he only succeeded in making it look more rope-like.

"Oh, come here," said Lily, doing it for him.

"Thanks Lils!"

Lily and Remus had expected to be done soon, but there had been some sort of hold-up, and by the time the nightcaps were finally finished, it was somehow half past twelve. They trudged up the stairs to the Common room, and wearily stepped through the Portrait hole.

"Ah, there you are!"

They looked up wanly to see Sirius smiling at them from a couch near the fire. James and Peter were sat at a nearby table, James apparently doing his Divination homework, Peter slumped over his books, snoring loudly.

"What are you lot still doing up?" whispered Lily, walking over to the couch opposite Sirius. Marlene was dozing on it.

"Just chilling, Lily," answered Sirius, with a smile.

"I hope you haven't planned any pranks on the delegates, they're all really important people," she said, looking at him dubiously.

"No, no, what kind of people do you think we are?" asked Sirius, and regretted it immediately, because Lily smirked at him mischievously.

"I can't believe how tired I am," she said though, sitting down heavily beside Marlene.

"So, how did it go?" he asked her quickly, jumping at the new topic.

"Okay, I guess," said Remus, sitting on Sirius' couch and picking up the book he'd been reading before they had gone downstairs. "I think Sprout was a bit starstruck when she met Aslaug Velum," Then he smiled.

"She was," said Lily, and chuckled. "She could hardly string two words together."

"Aslaug Velum is that herbologist she can't shut up about," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "I can imagine it all."

"No need to be rude," said Lily. Sirius just shrugged.

"You know, it was so clear the delegates were all tired after their long journey, but Arsinoe thought it was the right time to start a discussion on the Verdimillious Charm," said Remus, and the others laughed.

"He's an arse," said James, like it was a fact.

"But they were all eager to discuss it though, he mentioned it, and suddenly like that," Lily snapped her fingers. "All their tiredness disappeared and they jumped right it into it. I think it's still going on. Professor McGonagall took pity on us and sent us to bed. Dorcas is still there with them," she said.

"Oh, exciting news, there might be a Christmas party in honour of the delegates," said Remus, perking up.

"Really?! Like a ball?" said James enthusiastically, and he nodded.

"I think so," said Remus.

"Whoa whoa, we're not sure yet," said Lily. "Don't get their hopes up, Remus."

"Well, don't be a downer, I heard Dumbledore already telling Hagrid to pay extra attention to the Christmas trees. It's happening."

"Christmas? That's a long way away," said James.

"Amazing, Hogwarts is hosting a ball," said Sirius. "Sounds... hmm how do I put it? It sounds..."

"Thrilling?" asked Lily.

"Stirring, actually," said Sirius, looking at Remus. "Hey Moony, do you like my hair today?"

Remus merely glanced at him, but didn't reply. "Hey Lils, don't forget, you have that letter to write, you said I had to remind you?" he said to her instead.

"Oh, all my things are upstairs…" she mumbled, with a brooding look.

"Well, I have some parchment if you need?" said James, holding it out.

Sirius gave him a gleeful thumbs-up. Then he looked at Remus and scowled. "Moony, come on, you're reading again?" he asked him, and only got a non-committal hum in response.

Lily contemplated whether to accept it or not for a few moments, and then moved towards him to take the parchment, quill and ink bottle.

"Moony, you haven't said _anything_ about my hair... look, Marlene braided it, you can see it behind my ear- Moony!"

Remus seemed so immersed in his book, that he didn't seem to hear him.

"Thank you," she said, looking up to see James smirking, and she knew it was about Sirius, and she struggled to keep a straight face as she moved around the table again to sit next to Marlene.

"You're welcome," said James. Lily pursed her lips to stop herself from smiling, and pulled the coffee table towards her.

After the wedding was over, Lily and Petunia had just been hanging out, and in conversation, Lily told her about the incident with Severus at the end of last term. Petunia, feeling all superior, had annoyed her so much (spouting _I-told-you-so_ at least ten times), that they ended up having a huge fight again. They hadn't said their goodbyes properly, and Lily had been feeling quite guilty. She had shared all of this with Remus and he had advised her to write to her sister.

"It's important to resolve family disagreements. Otherwise they fester. That's what mum always says. Just be completely honest in what you write," Remus had told her, when they were coming upstairs. So she dipped her quill in the ink, and paused, thinking about how to start the letter.

"Remus, I ate all the chocolate you had stashed away," said Sirius, and Lily looked up in alarm, but Remus didn't even look up from his book. She looked back down at her parchment, smiling to herself. Remus was managing to tease Sirius without even saying a word.

 _Dear Petunia, how are you?_ Lily began. _How is married life treating you? I-_ She looked up when she heard an annoyed grunt from Remus, and saw Sirius put his wand away. He had been making it snow above Remus.  
 _I am sorry about the way we had left things when we parted,_ she continued to write, and then paused again. She wondered if Petunia was even feeling bad about the fighting. It seemed like the 'festering' Remus mentioned, had already begun, and she wondered if there was any use writing at all.

"Sirius, stop it!" said Remus. He looked genuinely irritated. "You know I've been waiting all day to finish this book."

Lily looked up again. _Hmm, he must have done something annoying again._

Sirius scowled. "Well, I've been waiting all evening for you to come back from your stupid Prefect duties!" he said. "I might as well go to bed."

"No, stop," said Remus, finally closing the book. Sirius got to his feet anyway and made to walk away. Remus stood up and quickly grabbed his elbow.

"Let me go!" Sirius said curtly, trying to pull himself free, but Remus wheeled him around and pushed him back onto the couch.

"Ah!" Sirius cried, as he fell onto the couch.

"Hmm?" said Marlene, waking up suddenly to the noise, but Peter was still snoring. Everyone looked around at Marlene, and she looked around at everyone, blinking sleepily.

"Oh, hey Lily, Remus, you're back... must've dozed off," she said, yawning, but Remus ignored her.

"You great, attention-seeking _prat_ ," he said in a low but dangerous voice, standing over Sirius. He still looked pretty mad and Lily was a little uncertain as to what was going on. She stared at them, her letter forgotten. Marlene looked excitedly between Remus and Sirius.

"I…" Sirius began, but Remus straddled him. "No talking," he told him.

Sirius looked both scared and excited. He looked around the Common room to see if it was indeed just the six of them there. "Pete's right there…" he whispered.

"I _said..._ no talking," replied Remus with a deadpan face, and proceeded to kiss him.

Lily gasped, almost inaudibly but James heard it and looked up at the girls. He was too used to his friends' behaviour to care, but he wondered how the girls would react. Marlene smiled to herself, blinked sleepily a few more times, and closed her eyes again. He wondered if she was being polite or was merely feeling sleepy. But he noticed that Lily could not take her eyes off Sirius and Remus. She stared at them.  
 _Is she disgusted by them, or does she just disapprove of public displays of affection?_

She suddenly seemed to realise what she was doing, and hastily looked down at her parchment. There were two large ink drops on it over where she had let the dipped quill hover. She sighed and started writing again, and James went back to his essay on Tarot cards.

Remus whispered something into Sirius' ear, making him giggle. This made James and Lily look up again. Sirius ran his fingers seductively through Remus' hair and he closed his eyes and hummed in response. James watched Lily stare at them with her mouth open as Sirius grab a fistful of his robes and pulled Remus closer into a kiss again.

"Boys, knock it off," said James. "You might be making others uncomfortable."

Lily shot him a surprised look.

Sirius looked hurt as he gently pushed Remus away, but Remus smirked at her, and her cheeks turned slightly pink. Marlene opened her eyes and looked around at everyone awkwardly with her eyebrows raised.

"She's not uncomfortable, James," said Remus, still smiling slyly. "Are you, Lily?"

Lily blushed furiously. "Not at all, it's all good!" she replied, her voice trembling a bit. James was looking at her curiously now.

"Are we turning you on, Lily?" asked Remus, grinning more broadly. Marlene giggled.

"Wait, really?" asked Sirius, raising his head to look at her.

"I- I'm not..." she mumbled hopelessly.

"Lils, you never told _me_ you liked watching two blokes make out?" Marlene teased her. Sirius and Remus grinned at each other. "Kinky… nice."

"I don't!" she panicked and Marlene laughed out loud.

"No?" Remus asked her, raising an eyebrow, and she understood. He could smell her.

"No, I can see what's going on," said Marlene casually. "I feel really horny when I'm on my period sometimes, and I get easily turned on by _anything_."

"Wha.." said James, and Marlene turned to look a him sharply.

"Got a problem with what I said, James?" she asked him curtly. Remus slid off onto the floor and Sirius sat up, grinning.

"I didn't say anything!" he said hurriedly, holding his hands up, and Peter finally snorted awake. He looked at Marlene's menacing face in confusion.

"Hmm…" Marlene said, standing up. "You didn't need to. Seems like you're okay with people expressing themselves, just as long as it's only boys," she continued, folding her arms.

Lily tilted her head a little to watch James from behind Marlene.

"No, I- I don't… think like that! Really," he said, looking at Lily.

Marlene followed his gaze and turned around to face Lily. "I see what you mean now, Lily. He really _is_ immature," she said, gathering her things up. Lily stood up too.

"Marly, wait a second," said Sirius.

"Yes?"

"Give him a chance to explain, at least," said Sirius, looking at Lily.

"Explain what?" asked Lily, turning to face James. "The fact that boys are so uncomfortable when girls express themselves as sexual beings, but at the same time, you..." her voice trailed away. "You want it," she said, almost inaudibly. Her expression was really sad, and it made James even sadder. Peter had no idea what was going on, he watched Lily with a shocked expression.

Marlene edged away from between them.

"I _don't_ think like that, Lily," said James, with an appealing look. "You misunderstood."

"Yeah, like Mary did the other day," said Peter. Which was a huge mistake.

"Mary?!" said Marlene, with a dark look on her face. "Mary didn't misunderstand anything! She told us what Pratap said, he was being very clear!"

"Obviously not!" said James. "He likes her! A lot! He told her that too, but she didn't want to listen, just like you're doing right now!"

Lily and Marlene looked at each other incredulously. "Because he was being super-rude to her and made her feel really bad!" said Marlene.

"He's been apologising ever since! He sends her notes everyday," said James.

"James, just because he's apologising, does that mean she suddenly _has_ to go out with him?" Lily asked him.

James tried to understand what that statement meant. "But, doesn't she like him too?" he asked.

Lily shook her head. "So that means you think she should just forget all the things he said to her? You still don't get it," she said. "All boys are the same!"

"That statement is _so_ generalised," said James angrily.

"Really? So you think it doesn't apply to you?" asked Marlene, glowering at him. "What about the last two years you spent asking Lily out? _You_ didn't take no for an answer either, did you?"

James just felt so attacked."That is different..." he tried to say. Sirius and Remus exchanged tense looks.

"How is it different? Think about it, James," said Marlene.

"You boys," said Lily, with pain etched on her face. "You just want everything to be on your terms. No, you don't want it to be, you just _expect_ everything to be on your terms."

I _don't_!" he said, and his eyes shining with tears now. Lily blinked. She suddenly felt the need to hug him, and surprised herself.

"Stop yelling at James," said Sirius, suddenly standing up. Lily looked up at him, he looked a little menacing.

Lily looked back at James, who had hung his head over his textbook, with his messy hair covering his face so she couldn't see his expression. She looked at Peter, who was glaring at her.

"Then ask him to prove it. Prove that it doesn't have to be all on his terms," said Marlene. Sirius and Remus couldn't say anything. They just looked at the two girls helplessly.

"Come on, Lily," she said, picking up her bag, and walked off towards the staircases.

Lily sullenly picked up her unfinished letter, folded it and put it in her pocket. Then she picked up the quill and ink pot that James had given her and carried them slowly and placed them beside his textbook, her hand lingering there for a few moments, But James couldn't face her. She walked away briskly. Sirius and Remus watched as Marlene put her arms around Lily's shoulders and whispered something to her. Lily nodded and they slowly made their way up the stairs. _  
_

"Prongs, you okay, mate? said Peter, cautiously putting his hand on James' arm, and Sirius and Remus looked up at him. James was never weepy. He'd been rejected by Lily about fifty times before, and in ruder ways than that. But this time it seemed, he'd finally succumbed. Not because her words had stung, but because he had been unable to explain himself. Sirius walked around the table and stood beside James' chair, putting his hand on his head.

"James," he said.

James roughly wiped his eyes. "I'm fine," he said, through gritted teeth.

Peter looked really shocked. "I have no idea what just happened," he said to Remus.

"I don't think you should have mentioned Mary and Pratap," said Remus.

"Shit, so this is my fault?!" said Peter, looking more shocked than before.

"No, I think Lily has had all this on her mind for a long time," said Sirius crossly. "And somehow she morphed the conversation into whatever she wanted it to be."

"Actually-" Remus began, but Sirius cut him off.

"You're not actually going to support Lily now, are you?" he asked. James looked up at Remus.

"I was just saying that she didn't morph the conversation or anything, it was heading there anyway," said Remus, and Sirius looked at him angrily. "None of this is your fault, James," he added.

"It sounds like she _hates_ me!" said James. Sirius put his arm on his shoulder. "Like she's _hated_ me for a long time!"

"She doesn't hate you, James," Remus said.

"I love her! And _this_ is the opinion she has of me?!" said James forcefully. "I am not fucking... _Lucius Malfoy_! Or... or..."

"Or my father," Sirius finished the sentence for him. Remus and Peter looked at each other sadly.


	74. Pumpkin Juice

"What I don't understand, is why they're acting like James tied up her arms and legs and dragged her down to Hogsmeade on a date!" said Peter tersely.

"I know!" said Sirius, but Remus had a strange expression on his face. "What is it, Moony?"

"Nothing!" said Remus.

"I know that look, Moony, like you're bristling with dissonance... with perplexities," said Sirius.

"Just spit it out," James told him.

Remus swallowed. "Okay, look," he said. "Just don't be mad at me, alright? Lily isn't an irresponsible person with a devil-may-care attitude. Every time you asked her out, she didn't say no without thinking about it first, you know?"

"So what?" asked Peter.

"Saying 'no' to someone takes a toll on you," said Remus. James looked even more depressed.

"But James felt infinitely more bad every time she said no," said Peter. "Rejection hurts, you have never experienced it, so you wouldn't know, would you?"

"I haven't, I know that. But I'm not saying he didn't feel bad-"

"What then? It sounds like you don't care about that at all," said Sirius.

"How can you say that, Sirius? Why wouldn't I care about him?" said Remus. "James, look, I'm not saying this to make you feel more awful. I'm just giving you their perspective! To see why she may have acted like that tonight."

But James didn't think he could listen to Remus telling him more about how he had made Lily feel uneasy or discomfited. And he especially didn't want this whole thing to become a stalemate because he'd done that. _I don't want to let her go. I cannot. I love her._

The three Marauders stared at Remus, and he turned away from them, feeling extremely guilty for saying anything. _Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut? I must have hurt his feelings._

"You are probably right, Moony," said Sirius, watching Remus' expression. "You always are. But perhaps this wasn't the best time to say that."

"Sorry," Remus mumbled.

"No, perhaps it is the right time... perhaps-" James started to say, but then at that moment, the Portrait hole opened again, and they all looked over. The Head girl stepped in, looking exhausted, but she smiled when she spotted the boys. Then her smile changed into mild concern when she saw their expressions, and walked over to them. "What happened?"

"What else? Lily happened," said Sirius crossly.

Dorcas frowned. "James, can I just say something?"

He wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve and looked up at her dejectedly. _Please please, don't tell me to forget her.  
_

"James, you're a genuinely good bloke," she explained. "Don't let this get to your head, but I honestly sometimes wonder why they stopped making them like you anymore... heck, whatever. The issue is, you don't know the meaning of being humble... or rather, you don't see the need to be humble."

James looked at the others, Peter was trying not to laugh and Remus was avoiding his eye.

Sirius just grinned. "She's got you there, mate."

"As if you're any more humble, Padfoot," said Remus.

"Are you saying we're a couple of show-offs?!" asked James.

"I'm not finished!" interrupted Dorcas. "All I'm saying is, your lack of humility just comes from being brutally honest, alright? You tell it like it is, and the people closest to you," she continued, gesturing at the other boys. "They get the real you, they don't care or notice it. In fact, most of the time, they appreciate you being so straightforward."

James looked at Remus for confirmation, he nodded and smiled.

"But not everyone can do that... others, when they hear you talk, they don't know the real you, and it's hard for them not to take your honesty as arrogance- _Oh hey, look at me, I don't even have to try..._ Do you see what I mean?" she said. She looked at the boys processing the information. They slowly nodded at her. Peter looked like he still thought it was arrogance as he gave James the side eye.

"That's exactly what my parents told me, as well! So, what do I do?" he asked her, a little desperately. "I don't realise I'm doing it! How do I change?!"

"You don't."

James looked up at her sadly. "So I should just forget about Lily?"

She smiled and touched his cheek in a loving way. "Did I say that? Give it time."

"What do you mean, Dorcas?" asked Sirius. "Don't give him false hope."

"It's not false, she just needs to get to know him like the three of you do," she said patiently.

James felt a weight lift off of his chest. "Thanks, Dorcas. You're like the big sister I never had."

She grinned. "That's quite the honour."

"The honour was ours when you decided to trust us enough to make us part of your crew."

She nodded. "We _will_ win this war. And Lily _will_ come round," she said determinedly, her eyes blazing. The boys nodded again, inspired all over again by her strength. Then she waved at them and walked off to the girls' dorms.

"See, all you have to do is prove those girls wrong. What was it they said, Remus?" asked Sirius.

"Prove that everything doesn't have to happen according to how you want. Just let the chips fall where they may..." said Remus, shrugging.

"And what does that mean, exactly?" asked Peter uncertainly.

"It means you're not going to ask her out again, or flirt with her, or make a move on her in any way," said Remus. "You will behave like a good friend to her and nothing more. She knows full well by now, that you like her. In fact, the whole school knows-"

"Does that matter?" asked Sirius, cutting him off.

"Does what matter?"

"The whole school knowing. Why are you even mentioning that right now?"

"I'm mentioning it, because the whole school actually knows. And the whole school has an opinion on how Lily should be acting. And the whole school, are bombarding her with their opinions. How is a gal to think clearly about what she actually wants, with so much pressure?"

But Sirius still looked unconvinced. He hadn't at all appreciated the way Lily and Marlene had ganged up on James like that. He was going to speak his mind to them.

"That's... quite a difficult position to be in, I guess," said Peter.

" _We_ cannot do anything about that. But as I was saying, she knows that you like her. Let her make up her own mind. And meanwhile, you just be yourself, yeah?" said Remus.

James nodded, smiling a little, and Sirius chuckled. "I can't believe the famous _James Potter_ just cried over a girl!" he teased.

"I didn't cry! There was like one tear!"

A couple of days later, Remus and Lily were looking over the courtyard at break time. Lily kept glancing up at Remus' face, but she couldn't gauge how he was feeling, if he was angry at her or not.

"Smethwyck, if you do that again, I'll put you in detention!" he shouted suddenly, and Lily jumped. The Hufflepuff firstie quickly stopped poking his friend in the ear with his wand and walked away as fast as he could.

"Remus."

"He could have perforated his eardrum, you know!" he said, looking grave.

She stared up at him for a long moment. "Are you mad at me?" she asked.

He immediately looked away. "Not really."

"Then what are you thinking about?"

He inhaled deeply and looked back at her. "I don't know what to think, to be honest."

"What do you mean?" she asked, a note of desperation in her voice.

"Does it matter what _I_ think, Lily?"

"You're my friend, of course it does!"

"It shouldn't really!" he told her. "What anyone else thinks is completely unimportant. What you think about it, should be the only thing that matters."

She looked really confused. His expression softened. "Lily... I'm not judging you."

James, Peter and Sirius stood, watching them from the other end of the courtyard. "Do you think they are talking about the other night?" whispered Peter.

"Obviously," replied Sirius testily. "He's probably on her side too, being all supportive." James looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed and back at Lily and Remus thoughtfully.

"Unbelievable!" said Peter and Sirius nodded.

"Pete, didn't you forget your Divination homework in the dorm?" James asked him.

"Crap. Yes," said Peter, turning around to go upstairs and Sirius made to follow him.

"Coming?" he asked James.

"I think I'll stay here," James replied. "See you in class."

Sirius patted his shoulder, smiled and ran after Peter.

"It's not that..." Lily mumbled to Remus.

"You're upset about the other night, I can see that," he said, looking at her.

"I didn't mean to make him cry!"

He put his arm around her shoulders and sighed. "He didn't exactly cry."

"I saw the tears!"

"Well, if it upsets you that much, just tell him you're sorry."

"But I still want to maintain my point of view, doesn't saying sorry make my point inconsequential?" she asked him.

"Remember that fight Sirius and I had about his mother's letter?" said Remus. "I'd kept thinking that because I was right, I needn't be the one to make the first move. But the reality was, that I had _hurt his feelings,"_ he said with a meaningful look. "So, I apologised. Just because you're right, doesn't mean you don't have to apologise for hurting someone's feelings. Do you get what I'm saying?"

She nodded. "Thank you Remus," she said with a small smile. "For the advice."

" _De nada_ ," he said, and she grinned.

Then she sighed. "Oh, look what Toke's doing..." she said, and walked over to the Ravenclaws, sitting on a low wall. Remus watched as she reprimanded them. He didn't like how guilty James' behaviour had made her. _Is this what she gets for expressing herself?_ It made him really annoyed at James' narrow point of view. He kicked a small pebble away in frustration and looked up to see whom it had rolled towards. He saw James walking towards him, and rolled his eyes and looked away.

"You're angry," said James, coming to stand beside him. Remus said nothing. "Moony. Please tell me why."

Remus took a deep breath and turned towards James. James looked sincere, so he decided to tell him. "Prongs, you have been telling her how you feel since fourth year. And for the first time, she tells you how she feels about it all, and once again, you manage to make this all about you? How is that okay?"

James looked surprised.

Remus continued. "Why cant you see, James? This is not about you. It's about her; how she feels, how she has felt all along. She told you how she felt so that for once, you can put yourself in her shoes, and now, you make her feel almost ashamed for it, for feeling those things."

James blinked in realisation. "Oh," he said softly.

Remus shook his head and looked away towards a group of girls laughing. "You claim to be in love with her. And she believes it. And hence deems you worthy of knowledge so personal, and you reject it."

"Moony."

Remus turns to look at his friend. "Oh Prongs, don't look so miserable, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that. But, what do i do?"

"You try to accept everything. You try to understand and make sense of it all, even if it is hard. Take Sirius and I-"

"But that's Sirius!"

"And _me_."

James grinned. "Right. But you two make it look so easy."

"No relationship is easy, James."

"But it definitely helped that you were best friends before, though."

"Yes, I guess we know how the other operates. But even so, there are _tonnes_ of things Sirius and I learnt about each other and about ourselves that we would have never known, had we not been together," Remus informed him, smiling. "And every time, it changes the way we view our relationship a little more, the feeling, it's... it's _incandescent_."

James smiled at him.

"Perhaps it would help if you took this disagreement as a positive sign. You now have an insight into her soul that no other boy has. And she told you that for a reason. Make your response worth her while."

James didn't exactly know what that meant, or what he was supposed to do. But he knew it was up to him to figure it out. So he nodded. "Okay."

Remus nodded too.

"Thanks Moony."

Remus chuckled. "You're welcome."

James' and Peter's heads were spinning a little. They leaned on each other as they stumbled into the Great Hall for lunch. Other sixth years who'd just come from their Divination class were in the same condition. Sirius and Remus were sitting opposite to each other, laughing at a joke, when James gingerly sat down beside Remus, heavily leaning on the table.

"What's up with you two?" asked Sirius, seeing that Peter was in the same condition.

"We learnt what Hypnotism in Divination today," said Peter, while James gulped down some water. "Zhao basically hypnotised all of us, one-by-one."

Remus and Sirius chuckled at them. "Don't laugh, you heartless brutes," said James, and they chuckled again.

"Everyone's feeling the same," said Peter, pointing at Pratap, who was sitting a few seats further up the table, wanly holding his head. "Professor Zhao said the odd dizzy feeling will be gone as soon as we eat something, so let's do that."

James tried to put some of the trennette and cheese onto his plate, but half of it ended up on the table. "You're wasting precious food," said Peter.

"Why don't I do that, Prongs?" said Remus, taking the pasta spoon and bowl from his hands. Then he put some on the plate and put the plate in front of him. "There you go."

"Many thanks, you savage brute," said James, and he and Sirius laughed again.

After eating for five minutes, James and Peter began to feel better. Peter grinned ecstatically. "Evans is coming our way," he announced, looking down on his plate. James stared at Peter, resisting the urge to look up towards Lily.

"What does she want with us, now?" said Sirius angrily. "And I saw you at break, cosying up to her. I thought you were on _our_ side?"

"I'm not taking sides! Besides, she was feeling pretty bad about the other night-" said Remus.

James nodded purposefully.

"Prongs! You're hopeless. Don't you dare start that again, I am so mad-" Sirius stopped abruptly as Lily and Marlene walked up to them slowly and took their seats on the other side of Remus.

"Hey Lily," said Remus.

"Hi," she said, looking at all four of them.

Hi," said James and Peter together. Sirius just moodily played with his pasta.

"Er," she began, and James bent a little to look at her, and Remus leaned back a little so that they could look at each other properly.

"I'm sorry about the other night," she said softly.

But before James could reply, Sirius said, "Are you, Lily? Are you _really_ sorry?"

"Yes! I didn't mean for it come out like that!"

"Come out like what?"

"Come out so rudely..."

"So, you didn't mean to be rude. But you still meant what you said, didn't you?" Sirius said pitilessly.

"She did," said Marlene.

"There. See, James?" Sirius said to him, pointing at Lily.

Lily didn't know what else to say. She sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"D'you want to know what I think, Lily?" Sirius continued.

"No actually, we _don't_ want to know what you think, Sirius," said Marlene loudly.

"Well, I'm just going to go ahead and tell you anyway," he replied. Marlene looked livid. "I think you're prejudiced against James because he's a pureblood, because so many purebloods aren't good people in general."

Lily looked up at Sirius, and he saw that she was actually considering what he was saying.

But then Marlene asked, "You mean purebloods like the Ancient and Most _Noble_ House of Black?"

"Shut the _fuck_ up, Marlene!" said Sirius through gritted teeth, and Marlene took her drink and threw it at Sirius' face.

"Whoa!" said James, but everyone else was too shocked to say anything else. People around them looked over curiously. They all just stared at Sirius. He wordlessly wiped the pumpkin juice off of his face and slowly stood up and started walking away.

Remus turned towards her. "How could you say that to him, Marlene?! You, of all people!"

She suddenly looked extremely guilty. She stood up and ran after him. They watched her catch up to him near the staff table. Remus saw Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore looking down at them curiously.

"Sirius! Sirius, wait!" she said, and Sirius stopped and turned around. "I'm so sorry! Please, I really am!" she begged.

"For what? Throwing the drink at me? Or for putting me in my place?"

"I wasn't putting you in your place! Please don't say that."

"But you should be. I'm glad you did. What right do I have, to be talking about changing someone's worldview?"

"Sirius Black. You are the perfect person to be trying to change someone's worldview. Your situation in life uniquely enables you to see both sides of the coin. Believe me, I am the fool, for not seeing that before," said Marlene earnestly.

Sirius stared at her. "You really mean that?"

"You know I never lie..." she said, and he smiled.

"Does this mean you've forgiven me?"

"Of course!" he told her, putting his palm on her cheek.

"Oh!" she said, and hugged him tightly. He chuckled and hugged her back. They broke apart and then they realised everyone was watching them.

"I better go and get changed, or I'll be late for Herbology!" he said.

"Yeah, go!" she said, and he left. She slowly walked back to their spot, aware that many girls were watching her enviously. Only Marlene McKinnon could get away with throwing a drink at Sirius Black's face. And then get a hug from him! Marlene smiled to herself. _If only they knew..._

She saw that there was some juice on the bench and table, and she vanished it with her wand. "Sorry," she told Peter, as she sat down beside him. He pursed her lips and turned away. "Erm, you still have some juice on your ear, Peter," and tried to wipe it with her sleeve.

"I'm good, thanks," he told her, tilting away from her awkwardly.

"I can't believe I said that to him," she said, looking around at the others.

"Well, you apologised, so it's okay," said James. Lily gave him a shy smile.

"Sure. But unfortunately, I'm putting you in _detention_ , McKinnon," said Remus.

"What?" said asked, smiling uncertainly at him.

"Detention," he said, grabbing his and Sirius' unfinished plates and putting them in an empty place.

"More wastage of precious trennette and cheese," said Peter, shaking his head.

"You can't throw drinks at people in the Great Hall. I'll tell Filch to expect you at _eight_ , tonight," Remus said curtly to Marlene, ignoring Peter. Then he took Marlene's plate and placed it in front of her, and took Lily's plate and put it in his own place. Marlene sat speechless, watching him. "I'll see you boys in Herbology," he told James and Peter, and grabbed his bag and walked away.

Lily burst out laughing at Marlene's expression. James and Peter started laughing too. She slid across to sit beside James, and picked up her fork and knife. James tried not to be hyper-aware of her as he ate, and Peter tried not to laugh at him.

"I can't believe he gave me detention!" said Marlene, still surprised.

"Totally serves you right, me thinks," Peter told her, and Lily chuckled again.

" _Lily_ ," said Marlene indignantly.

"It's for the firsties, Marlene. They need to learn that they can't get away with bad behaviour," she replied matter-of-factly.

"So I was an example, huh?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Pretty much," said James, smirking at her. "Of what happens to people who mess with Sirius Black."

Marlene stared at James for a long time, with a brooding look. Then she finished her meal hurriedly and waited impatiently for Lily to finish eating. Lily, on the other hand, quite liked sitting beside James, and they were both eating as slowly as they could.

"Lily, if you'd eat any slower, you'd be going backwards," Marlene chided her.

Lily stuffed the last few bites quickly into her mouth and drank some water. She got up to leave, but she paused again. Marlene rolled her eyes. "Er, James..." she said tentatively.

"No," he replied.

"Huh?"

"You shouldn't be sorry, Lily," said James, and Lily stared. "I'm sorry. I... I don't know a lot about many things, Lily, but I swear I'm trying to learn."

Marlene raised her eyebrows in surprise.

Lily smiled what felt like the first real smile in three days. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah," James replied. "So, what were you going to say?"

"Er, yes. I was wondering, why we can't just be friends? Like normal friends? You know... pals," she asked him.

James nodded. "I'd like that, yeah. Friends," he said, shaking her hand cautiously. Lily smiled at him, and when the two girls left, James put his head on the table and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Sorry, what was that, Prongs?" Peter asked him, grinning.

"I can't be _just-friends_ with her!" he moaned.

"It's a start, James!" Peter said, chuckling at him.

"I'm never washing this hand again."

"Disgusting."

"No. Passionate."

"Creepy."

Sirius changed his robes as soon as he could and almost ran all the way down to the side doors leading out to the greenhouses, and slowed down when he saw Remus waiting for him there.

"Moony!"

"Hey Sirius, are you okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, nodding, and taking Remus' elbow and nudging him to start walking towards the greenhouses. Remus started walking, but he was still looking at Sirius' face with concern. "I'm fine, Moony. Really. Marlene and I talked, and she agrees that what I was telling Lily actually made sense. She felt bad about saying... what she said."

"Well, I wasn't fine, actually. I gave her a detention for throwing the pumpkin juice at you," said Remus.

"You did what?!" asked Sirius, starting to laugh.

"Yeah…" said Remus, smiling guiltily.

Sirius just laughed and laughed. "Oh, Moony... that's... that's so good!" he said, clutching his sides.

"Come on, we're gonna be late," said Remus, pulling his sleeve and breaking into a run. They both ran down to the greenhouses.

"I just love you so much, Moony. Like a lot."

"I love you more than that."

Mary, Lily, Alice and Marlene were already standing around their table, looking at the black-stemmed potted plants in front of them, waiting for Professor Sprout to begin her lecture. Pomona seemed to be busy searching for something in her bag.

"Are you okay, Marlene? You seem awfully quiet," asked Alice, looking at the plants' beautiful white flowers.

"Yeah, she was like this since lunch. Are you still feeling guilty about the whole juice thing?" asked Lily. The other two had been filled in about what happened, during their walk down to the greenhouses.

"Um, no. It's just-"

Sirius had just appeared at the doorway with a stupid grin on his face. Remus skidded to a halt beside him and bumped into Sirius' side, and Marlene saw Sirius put his hand on Remus' waist to steady him. They chuckled and walked over quickly to their table to join James and Peter.

"Marlene?" asked Alice. "What is it? You seem sad."

Marlene turned to her friends again, they were looking at her closely. She took a deep breath and decided to tell them the truth. "What James said about what would happen to people who mess with Sirius... It made me feel like such an outsider. I mean, it's always been just Sirius and I, you know, growing up. At every family trip, at every party, even at school, when we hung out just the two of us-"

"Okay class, can anyone tell me the name of the plants in front of you?" said Professor Sprout beginning her lecture, and Marlene couldn't continue anymore.

Alice put her hand up.

"Yes, dear?"

"They're called Moly," she answered. "The leaves of this plant can be eaten to counteract enchantments."

"That's right, five points to you," said Professor Sprout. "Has anyone heard of Moly before?"

"It's mentioned in the Odyssey, Odysseus eats it to protect himself from the Dark magic of the witch, Circe," said Remus.

"That's exactly right," said the professor, grinning. "Take another five points. Now, the Moly is a very important plant in the field of _Spagyric_ , or plant alchemy. Where you make herbal medicines using alchemial procedures. Today you will learn how to handle these plants, begin by..."

But the girls weren't really paying attention. All through the class, they were really distracted. "Alice dear, I said use a brass trowel only," said Professor Sprout sternly. "This is the second time I've had to tell you girls that."

Alice, who was usually very good at Herbology, was too distracted with asking Marlene to continue with her story, and ended up using the wrong tool entirely. Everyone turned around to look at them. "Sorry professor, won't happen again," she said, walking over to the main table to pick up a brass one, and Frank joined her.

"Everything okay, babe?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just Marlene... Something's bothering her," Alice told him.

"Now girls, I want you to concentrate," Professor Sprout told them when she returned.

"Yeah Marly, you don't want another detention, do you?" said Sirius from across the room, and everyone laughed. James hit him on the back of his head.

Marlene stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to the girls dejectedly.

"Mr. Black, focus on your _own_ work, please," said the Professor, bending down to examine the leaves on Mary's plant.

"Professor, may we please be excused for five minutes?" Lily asked her. Professor Sprout looked at their faces, and nodded. They quickly walked out of the greenhouse to an oak tree nearby.


	75. Ginger Newts

"Now, tell me. You were saying you felt like an outsider. Why?" said Alice, putting her hand on Marlene's shoulder.

"It's just... like I said. It's always been him and I. And now there's _Remus_... and-" said Marlene, now close to tears.

Meanwhile, inside the greenhouse, the Marauders looked at each other curiously. "Wonder what's going on?" said Peter.

"Yeah, even Alice was distracted, and she loves Herbology," said James, looking at Frank.

"Alice said something was bothering Marlene," replied Frank.

"What?! Did she say why?" asked Iker, extremely concerned.

"No, but they're probably talking things out, right now," said Frank.

"Maybe I should go check on her," said Sirius, taking off his gloves.

"No, I think _I_ should go," said Iker.

"You know what? Neither of you should," said Pratap, shaking his head slightly. "Do _not_ get involved, I'm telling you."

"I could help..." Sirius replied, creeping towards the door.

Iker stood in his place, biting his lower lip worriedly. " _Una mala idea_..." he muttered, and Pratap nodded at him.

"Sirius, come back! It might be private!" Remus whispered angrily, but Sirius crept to the door and snuck out.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked Marlene, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

"I never realised it until now. I feel like I'm losing him," she replied.

"What, are you saying you're in love with Sirius?!" asked Mary immediately, and Sirius froze in his steps, stunned.

"Mr. Black!" a voice suddenly called and the girls jumped. "I haven't authorised you to leave the greenhouse!" said Professor Sprout, and to their dismay, they saw that Sirius was standing only a few feet away from them. He wheeled around and stared at Professor Sprout as if he was seeing her for the first time.  
She was standing at the door. "Get back in here!" she ordered, but he couldn't move. " _Now,_ " she said, looking uncharacteristically irate, and he hurried back inside. He was so speechless, he didn't even apologise to her as he rushed past, back to his place.

"I told you," whispered James.

"What happened?!" Iker asked him.

"Everyone will _please_ carry on with the given task," she said, glaring at the Marauders' table.

Outside, Marlene put her hands on her mouth. "I think he heard us!" She definitely had tears in her eyes now.

"Marlene, Marlene, look at me," said Alice, trying to meet her eyes, but she was mortified. She shook her head, and turned and ran off towards the castle.

" _Marlene_!" said Mary, and made to run after her, but Alice held her back.

"We can't just leave in the middle of lessons!" she said.

Lily took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay, let's just look for her after classes then."

"That's more than two hours! She would never leave one of us like this!" said Mary vehemently.

"I know. But we also have Sprout to think about. She already seems pretty angry. I think we should head inside," said Alice, and the girls returned to their table, glowering at Sirius all the way there.

"They're not happy, mate," said Frank, looking back at the girls. "They look like they might strangle you with a Devil's Snare if they could."

Sirius looked up at Frank. He felt embarrassed. This was a secret he wasn't supposed to hear. It was something so private that he felt like he had broken into someone's house or something.

"Where's the hell is Marly?" demanded Iker, looking over at the girls.

Sirius turned around. She wasn't there, but the other three were still shooting him evil glares. He didn't understand. _Marlene's in love with me? It can't be, she's my best friend, I've known her almost my whole life._ I _would know if she was in love with me, I'm not stupid. She's in love with Iker. The way she's with him, there's no mistaking that... But then, why did she run away? Where has she gone? So, what, now she's too embarrassed to face me?  
_ He felt an ache in his heart. Normally he would do everything in his power to help her. But now, it didn't look like there was anything he could do.

James elbowed him in the ribs. "Mate, get on with it, you'll fall behind," he said. Sirius picked up his quill to draw the buds of the plant.

A few minutes passed, and they head someone clear their throat pointedly. The boys looked up to find Alice. Her normally friendly face was gone, she was looking at Frank through narrowed eyes.

"Alice?" he asked nervously.

"When I told you that something was bothering Marlene, that was to assure you that _I_ was fine. Not so you can gossip about it with your friends," she said in a low voice.

"What's bothering Marlene?" asked Iker immediately.

Frank swallowed. "Boyfriend, best friend, I think they have a right to know?" he said, gesturing at Iker and Sirius.

"I don't care! You cannot be telling your friends, things I share with you in private! Especially when your friends are _this_ idiotic!" she whispered angrily, glaring at Sirius.

"You never told me this before," Frank tried to reason, but she was just too mad.

"What happened?!" asked Iker frustratedly. _Por qué me ignora?! Yo soy el novio!_

"Oh, get _fucked,_ Longbottom!" she muttered crossly and stalked off. The other boys awkwardly shared glances before looking away.

Iker was furious. "You're an arsehole, Sirius," he said, and walked over to the girls to inquire after Marlene.

Sirius sighed. _That I am. I wonder what he'll think of me when he finds out the truth. What a predicament this is!_

"What the hell did you do, Sirius? I've never seen her this angry before," Frank asked, glaring at his plant. Sirius was too ashamed to even say a word.

"Girls, where is Ms. McKinnon?" asked Professor Sprout in a low voice.

"She- we're sorry, Professor. She isn't feeling that good, she left," Alice told her.

"I see. Has she gone to the Hospital Wing? I must inform your Head of House if that's the case," said the Professor.

"No!" said Lily and the Professor tuned to her with a quizzical brow. "I mean... she's not in the Hospital Wing, Professor," answered Lily, blushing a little.

"Where is she, girls? Is she okay?"

"She... Professor, something's going on in her personal life, and she's..." said Mary awkwardly.

"You teenagers and your _angsty_ lives. Too much drama! Don't tell me it has something to do with Mr. Black over there?" she asked , looking at all four of them. They all looked away, trying not to meet her eyes. "For Merlin's sake, girls! Okay, if you see her, tell her she must meet with me when she can. To discuss today's lesson," she said, and they nodded quickly and she walked away to a different bench.

"Where is my girlfriend?" demanded Iker, and the girls turned to look at him, with wide eyes. He scanned their faces. "What is going on, you will tell me immediately. Also, what does it all have to do with Sirius, exactly?"

The girls exchanged terrified looks. They couldn't tell him anything yet, it would create a quagmire of misunderstandings. "Listen, Iker-"

"I want the truth," said Iker, holding up a hand.

"The truth is, that Marlene is really confused about something, and when Sirius arrived, she just ran away," said Mary.

"Yeah," said Alice, nodding.

"Well, what was she confused about?"

"We don't know exactly," said Alice.

"Tell me what you know, then."

"We don't know anything, actually," said Lily, she felt guilty for lying. _It's alright... white lie..._

"Where did she go?"

"We don't know that either," said Alice. _That's the one thing we actually don't know._

Iker returned to his own table looking really disgruntled, and glanced angrily at Sirius, who hung his head.

A bell rang in the distance, finally signalling the end of the class. Everyone started packing up.

"Okay class, drawings are to be submitted as part of your essay, which I will set in the next class. Make sure they're accurate. Now you can go, all except you, Mr Black," she said. "I want you to go and see your Head of House."

Sirius sighed. He'd known this was coming. The other Marauders walked up to McGonagall's office with him. "What happened?" asked Peter.

"I can't tell you," said Sirius.

"Why not?"

"Because even I don't know what the heck is going on!" he replied meanly, and Peter fell silent.

When Sirius knocked on Minerva's door, she told him to enter, and was unsurprised to see the other Marauders walk in with him. "Fine. you may stay as well. What I say, may benefit you too," she said, and look a deep breath, and they exchanged questioning looks.

"Sit down," she told them, making three more straight-backed wooden chairs appear with a flourish of her wand.

Sirius appeared very tense as he sat down. He looked around at the things on her table. There was a plate of macadamia cookies on it.

"Would you like a cookie?" she asked, pushing it towards her.

He shook his head.

"Do you have those newt-shaped ones?" asked Peter thoughtlessly.

"How did you know I keep those in my office?" she asked him, and he suddenly looked guilty. "Mr. Pettigrew?!"

No one answered. Obviously she understood that they must have tasted them on one of their break-ins. She sighed and took out the tin of ginger newts from inside the drawer, and opened the lid. "Here, take some."

Peter happily took some, even Remus and James took one each. Sirius didn't.

"Go on, have a biscuit," said Minerva, holding out the tin.

"Take one, Sirius," said James.

"Go ahead," said Remus.

"Alright, alright!" said Sirius, taking a biscuit. "What is the deal with the biscuits, anyway?" Then he popped it into his mouth. "What are these?"

"Ginger newts," she said, and Sirius popped a few more into his mouth. He didn't seem as tense as he was before.

"Is it true you were eavesdropping on a private conversation?" she asked him seriously.

Sirius stopped chewing for a moment and nodded. Then he chewed again.

"Mr. Black, sneaking out like that and listening in on other people's conversations is extremely impolite," she began. The boys expected him to protest, but he didn't.

"But Marlene and Sirius have been friends since they were children, professor," said James, but she held up her hand to silence him.

"That may be the case, Mr. Potter, but he hadn't been invited to the conversation," she said sternly.

James looked unconvinced. "Frank said that something was bothering Marlene and so he just went to check-"

"Mr. Potter. Be that as it _may._ I don't have to tell you that you'll soon be leaving school, so you should be aware that there are certain rules to abide by, if you want to be part of civilised society, and especially when interacting with the fairer sex."

The other three nodded dutifully, but James grimaced. "You could have just said 'girls'."

"Sometimes, it is required that I use the correct terminology-"

"To make it cringe?" asked James.

Minerva set her mouth into a thin line. "To communicate the idea clearly, Potter," she said. "The very fact that you see it as 'cringe' shows how immature your thinking really is."

"It's not, James would _never_ do such a thing," said Sirius. "He's so honourable, he's literally Godric Gryffindor reincarnated."

At that, the portrait of Godric Gryffindor on the wall behind them, who had been pretending to be snoozing up until now, opened his eyes. He and Minerva shared glances, and she looked back at Sirius. "You are a Gryffindor too, Mr. Black, why don't you hold yourself to the same ideals as your friend does?" she asked him.

"Maybe I was never meant to be in Gryffindor... my whole family have been in Slytherin. Even Regulus," he said dejectedly.

"Family doesn't determine your house," said Minerva.

"Yeah, my dad and grandparents were all in Ravenclaw," said Remus.

I meant, the only reason I'm in it is cos James said he wanted to be in it," said Sirius, remembering their Sorting.

"That is a good enough reason to be in Gryffindor," she said. "There are different qualities that make you one, bravery and honour are just two of them."

"Yeah, you only went out there, because you wanted to see if you could help," said James.

"You're right, I guess," said Sirius. "I mean, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I heard it by accident!"

Minerva nodded, observing him. "And sometimes being too curious might result in too much information-"

"I know, I know!" said Sirius, holding his forehead. The others stared at him.

"Hence, the rules, Sirius," she said, and he looked up at her.

"I get it."

"And you will do well to remember it!"

He nodded at her, and she finally sent them off.

"Sirius, did you overhear anything you weren't supposed to?" asked Remus tentatively.

"No time, I have to get to Muggle Studies," said Sirius, and ran off towards the West Wing. Remus turned right for Arithmancy and the other two slowly made their way to Divination.

After his class was over, Sirius found out from Arvid Larsen, that Marlene hadn't attended Arithmancy like she was supposed to. Neither was she in the Common room. Then he spotted Mary coming down from the staircase and swiftly went up to her. "Where is she?" he asked.

Mary merely looked at him, and said nothing.

"Nowhere!" he heard Lily's voice and whipped around. "We've done all the toilets, and the Owlery, and the Hospital Wing. we couldn't find her anywhere!" she told them anxiously. Alice and Iker were with her.

"She isn't in any of the rooms upstairs either. Or the toilets," said Mary, as the other Marauders walked up to them.

"You don't think she's in the grounds, do you?" asked Lily, worriedly. "Or the Forest?"

"Do you guys often go to the Forest?" asked Peter stupidly.

"Of course not! I was just... Do you?" she asked, eyes narrowing.

"No! What are you talking about?" said James, trying and failing to grin.

"Does that matter right now?! Where is Marlene?" said Iker, enraged.

"Shall we tell McGonagall?" asked Alice, looking at Frank.

"No, wait. She has her detention at eight, tonight. One of us can go down at eight and see if she goes to Filch's office. If she doesn't, then we can go to McGonagall," said Remus.

"Please, let me! Please?" said Sirius.

"Sirius, you have to understand that she- I think it would be best if you left her alone for some time," Alice told him.

"Yes, I think I will go down at eight and check," said Lily with a finality in her voice, that Sirius couldn't argue with. He sighed and sat down at a table.

"Sirius, what-" Peter began.

"I cannot tell you guys, I'm _so_ sorry, but I just can't!" Sirius replied, he was beginning to get all worked up.

"Okay, you don't have to," said Remus.

"I know I don't have to, I don't want to either," said Sirius.

"Fine, don't then."

"Fine!"

"That's enough!" said James, putting up his hands between them. "Let's not fight over this."

"No one's fighting," said Sirius, annoyed.

"Merlin," whispered James to himself, and took out his Potions textbook. "Why don't we just start on that essay on antidotes?" he asked Sirius.

"I can't do anything right now," said Sirius.

"Pads, there's nothing to be done until she returns anyway, you might as well start your homework," said Remus.

"Yeah, if we finish some of our homework now, we can go to Hogsmeade this Saturday," said Peter, opening his bag. Sirius didn't feel like studying at all, but he opened his books too. _Ugh, this chapter on antidotes is the worst thing ever._

A little while later, James remembered the Marauders' map. _How did we all forget about its existence?_  
They could easily see where she was on it. He went upstairs and came back with the Map. "She's nowhere in the castle, Sirius," he told them.

"What? So, she's actually somewhere in the grounds?" he asked.

"Maybe, we need to draw the grounds soon," said James, looking at the white expanse. "Remus, you're good at drawing trees, right?"

"Not at all, I'm horrible," he replied.

"I can draw trees," said Peter. "But are we going to do the whole _Forbidden Forest_? That would take ages!"

"There's no space for that. No, we just need to draw up until the boundaries of Hogwarts," said James.

"I can do that, I'd enjoy drawing the _Whomping Willow_ ," said Peter excitedly.

"We'll go and explore the Forbidden Forest next time," said James. "When is it, Moony?"

"Next Friday, 8th of October," he said, giving them a watery smile. He wished he remembered at least some of these adventures he had with them, but no. The wolf took over completely during those times and he usually remembered nothing except certain impressions, smells or heightened emotions.

"Perfect," said James, already making plans, but no one was really listening except Peter. He went on about discovering the hideout of the Centaurs, maybe even spotting a unicorn. Sirius watched as Remus took the Map and pretended to look at it, but he was actually trying hard to remember what had happened during the full moon, last month. He remembered a blade of grass stuck in his paw. That was _all._ It was quite frustrating. The other three told him that they always made the wolf wipe its paws on some grass before entering the shack again, so as not to make Madam Pomfrey suspicious when she came to check on him, the next morning. Maybe that was from where he remembered the blade of grass.

Just before 8 o'clock, Lily went downstairs and returned quickly. "She was just at Hagrid's," she told them, smiling.

"Oh," said Sirius, feeling a little relieved. Marlene and Hagrid both loved magical creatures, and she usually spent some time with Hagrid every week, talking about different kinds of beings and beasts. _  
_He looked up at Lily. "Right," he said. "How is she? I don't understand, did you talk to her about it? Did she-"

"There wasn't much time to ask her anything, Mr. Filch was already waiting for her. But, she's okay," she said.

Sirius looked really confused. "What am I supposed to do now?" he asked her. "Where is she doing her detention? Maybe I could go talk to her-" He wanted to go down to her so badly, he had so many questions for her. _She knows I'm with Remus. She knows I'm a homosexual, she still... oh, that's why she never said anything. But what is she doing with Iker? She loves him too?_

"No, let her finish the detention... you know, doing manual work really gives you time to think," she said. Then, to their surprise, she grinned. "I'm sure you all know that very well?"

The other three chuckled. "Can't argue with that," said Remus.

Sirius remembered what Professor McGonagall had just told him. It wasn't right, he wouldn't go down. He would talk to her only when she was ready. But he looked so forlorn, like a sad little puppy, and she felt a little bad for him.  
 _Wow, Alice is right, he definitely has got the puppy-dog face down to a tee, even I can't resist it._ "Er, did you tell them what happened?" she asked him.

"I can't believe you even have to ask me that, Lily-"

"Good, come here," she said, and took him aside. "Look, I don't know how much you overheard..."

"Don't ask me to repeat it, I don't think I can say it out loud," he said dejectedly.

"Well, you wouldn't be in this state if you didn't sneak up on us-"

"Did you just call me over to snipe at me, because I'm not in the mood-"

"No, I just wanted to say... we know Marlene, right? It-"

"I thought I did-"

"Will you stop interrupting me?" she said.

"Fine, I'll just shut up," she said grumpily, folding his arms.

"Listen, it might not even be what you think. Just remember that nothing is more important than your friendship," she said softly. "Don't let this get in between you two."

Sirius stared at her for a few moments. He knew she was talking from experience. She and Snape had been really good friends too, but they let small things come in between them. He nodded at her. She smiled again, and walked away towards the staircase. He stared after her thoughtfully.

Later that night, Sirius lay in bed and stared at the dot labelled Marlene McKinnon. It was in the Trophy Room. _Filch is probably making her polish those stupid shields and medals again. Why bother? No one looks at them anyway._

James came out of the bathroom. "We're almost out of toothpaste," he said.

"Your mum packed some in my trunk," Sirius told him.

"Marlene still polishing trophies?" he asked, grinning.

"Yeah, the git, looks like he's not letting her go," said Sirius. "I mean, it's half-past eleven."

"What!" said Remus, checking his watch. "I can go remind him that he should be sending the students back at eleven."

"You can do that?" asked Peter.

"Not officially, but then, I do many things unofficially," said Remus, grinning. The others chuckled.

"You know, James, all this time, I thought she was just this annoying, prissy little girl, but she's not."

James looked quizzical. "Marlene?"

"No, Lily," said Sirius. "Why would I ever think that about Marly?"

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," said James, while Remus and Peter laughed.

"Is that so, Padfoot?" asked Remus, and Sirius grinned sheepishly.

"How did you know, James?" he asked.

"Know what?"

"I mean, you've liked her forever," he said. "Even when you've never spoken to her properly... how did you see her? I mean not see, but you know, really see her?"

James just smiled at him and shrugged.

"I think I will go down and get Marlene now, is she still in the Trophy room, Pads?" asked Remus.

"Yeah," said Sirius, checking the Map.

"Cool, want to come, Peter? We could grab something from the Kitchens too-"

"Yes!" said Peter, jumping up. "James can we borrow your cloak?"

"Sure," said James, taking his Invisibility cloak out of his bag and handing it to them. They took it and left.

"Moony can sometimes read minds," said James, smiling and shaking his head.

"Huh?"

"He just knew that what I needed to say was private, so he just took Peter and left," said James, pointing at the door.

"Wow..." said Sirius, looking over at the door and back at James. "Plus, he's bringing Marlene back up to the Tower. If I ever forget that I'm surrounded by all these beautiful people, just kick me, please."

James chuckled and said, "Sure, mate."

"What was it you wanted to say? Sirius asked him.

"Yeah... well, you may think that I'm being cheesy, Sirius, but when you and McGonagall mentioned the Sorting earlier, it got me thinking," said James.


	76. Bust of Parcelsus

"Yeah?" asked Sirius.

"About people," said James.

" _And?_ "

"Even though they fall in love in different ways and realise things in their own unique ways, I think that _souls,_ when they meet their mates, they recognise each other the moment they meet," said James.

"You're right, that was so cheesy, I can't taste anything else in it," said Sirius, chortling.

"Laugh if you want, but I know I'm right," said James, crossing his arms. "I'm not saying the moment you meet your soulmate, you instantly know. That would be weird, we were eleven. I'm saying the souls know. When we met Lily on the train, nothing magical happened. We just annoyed her so much, she left!"

Sirius laughed. "Yeah!"

"Do you remember the first time you met Remus? The first time you ever laid eyes on him? After the Sorting?"

"But that wasn't the first time I laid eyes on Moony," Sirius said, grinning.

"What? You've met before?"

"Remember when we were by the boats, and Hagrid was asking us to get in?" said Sirius.

"Yeah, I was so excited," said James, chuckling. "I slipped and fell in a puddle!"

"You splattered everyone around you with mud!" Sirius told him.

"I did, Lily and Snape were there, I think I drenched Lily's shoes," said James.

Remus was actually with them-"

"Moony was with Lily and Snape?!"

"Yeah, I think after they left our compartment, they went to sit in his."

"I didn't even see him…"

"I did. D'you remember what Snape was saying?"

"No?"

"I was helping you up and he said something like, 'Well, that's Gryffindors for you'. I wanted to say something back, but Moony's sneer distracted me."

"He was sneering at us?!" asked James, surprised, and Sirius nodded, laughing.

"He was judging us!" he said. "I think he was expecting to get sorted into Ravenclaw like his family."

James smiled. "But then both of them ended up in Gryffindor!"

"So did I!" said Sirius. "There I was, sitting all alone, the first Gryffindor to be selected, and all the older students were ogling at me, it was really frightening. Do you remember how scared I was? I thought I'd be murdered in my bed that very night!"

James laughed. "Yeah, we all had to calm you down," he said, with a far-away look on his face.

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, it was me, then Lily showed up, but she obviously wasn't interested in talking to me. Then Alice, then the Larsen twins, the Frank. He said hello to me," said Sirius.

"Franks' the best," said James.

"Then Remus came along, he also looked really nervous. He took one look at me and looked away immediately. I could see he was trying so hard not to grin."

James smiled at him. "Lily... she's my soulmate, I know it. She doesn't think that... maybe she'll never think that. But I think that. And I don't think I can just forget about her like she expects me to," he said, rubbing an ink stain off his finger. He looked up awkwardly, thinking Sirius would make fun of him, but he was smiling.

"I completely get it, James," he said. And Sirius really did get it completely. It was the way he felt about Remus. The concept of him and Remus being soulmates sounded kind of dreamy, but it also made sense to him. "Just don't turn that into one of your poems, please."

James grinned. "Fine," he said, looking at the Map. "Look, they're coming up now."

"I'll go talk to her."

"Okay."

Sirius didn't need to wait long, Marlene finally walked wearily through the Portrait hole with Peter and Remus. They went upstairs immediately, but she didn't, Iker stood up from one of the couches near the front, and walked slowly over to her. Sirius saw him cup her face with his palms and ask her if she was okay. Marlene nodded, and he was probably asking her what had happened, but then she spotted Sirius. He waved awkwardly at her.

"Babe, I'll talk to you tomorrow, it's nothing big," she said, removing his hands from her face. "I really need to talk to Sirius first."

"Why? Please tell me," said Iker.

"I'll tell you everything tomorrow, Iker, I promise. Go to bed, alright?" she said, and walked over to Sirius. Sirius could see that Iker was feeling really insecure as he watched Marlene walk over to him. He didn't go to bed, he sat on the staircase and waited for Marlene patiently.

Marlene sat down on the couch in front of Sirius, but she didn't say anything. They stared at each other for a long time.

"I'm not in love with you, Sirius," she said, after a while. "I've thought about it all day," she continued. "I was at Hagrid's."

"Yeah, Lily said," he said. Then there was silence again. He got up and walked over to her, and sat on the arm of the couch. "I'm sorry for eavesdropping, I had no right to just barge in like that. You don't have to explain anything, Marly. You're my friend, and nothing's changed," he told her.

"But I want to explain. Just hear me out," she said, and he nodded. She leaned back in her chair and sighed. "I know nothing's changed. I know that. But it's always been you and I, right? Marly and Siri? You're my oldest friend."

"You're my oldest friend too," he said.

"Today... even when Remus gave me the detention, I didn't think anything of it, because… I knew I deserved it. But then, James said that I was an example of what happens to people who mess with Sirius Black," she continued.

Sirius had a slight crease in his eyebrows. "Marly, what are you saying?" he asked her.

"I know what James meant. That Remus cares about you so much, that he won't tolerate people messing with you," she said, looking at her feet.

"Yes, but I don't- Marly can you look at me, please?" he said. He sounded annoyed and she looked up at him. He was looking searchingly at her.

"It's just the way he said it, you know. He called me, 'people' like I was an _outsider_. Like I was one of those people Remus had to protect you from. It just made me feel so lonely!" she said, tearing up.

"Marly, he didn't mean it like that," he said.

"I know he didn't, but that's what I felt when he said that, okay!" she said forcefully.

"Okay, okay," he said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I know Remus is your boyfriend, and he'll always be there for you, but I like to think of myself as one of the people who would protect you too, you know? Not one from whom you need saving!" she cried.

"I know that!" he told her.

"Do you? Sometimes I feel like I've just become _one-of-the-girls_ to you now!" she said, tears now rolling down her face.

Sirius hugged her tightly. "You are not! Please don't _ever_ think that. The place you hold in my life will never change, Marly! Until I met you, I was so alone… when I met you, I realised that if a person has just one friend, they'd be happy, they won't be lonely anymore."

Marlene smiled at him.

"You don't get it, I would have just been an empty shell of a person if you hadn't been there for me!" he said.

"Merlin, don't talk like that Sirius!" she said, looking up at him.

"I know I do get carried away, playing pranks with the boys and… I'm really sorry. I made you feel like this."

"No! No, you haven't," she said, patting his chest.

He hugged her again, and held her in that position for a long time. Then he looked into her eyes and said, "I love you, Marly,"

"I love you too, Siri," she said, finally smiling.

"Iker's waiting for you," he told her and she stood up.

"What? Where is he?" she asked, and spotted him on the staircase "Oh, there he is, I told him to go to bed... he's been so patient with me."

"Go talk to him," Sirius told her.

She nodded and turned to walk away, but he grabbed her ponytail and pulled it playfully. "Ouch, you're so annoying!" she said and kicked him on the shin.

"Ow!" he said loudly. "That was way harder that what I did!"

Iker looked over at them, and he was a bit relieved to see them fighting as usual. He hurried down the stairs towards them.

"You don't make the rules!" she said to Sirius.

"Hey. Hey, Marlene," Iker said nervously.

"Goodnight," Sirius said to them, and walked up the stairs. When he looked down at them before going through the door, they were sitting on the couch and talking. _Silly me. Of course she's not in love with me. Thank Godric! Got all worried for nothing... well, not nothing..._

When he opened the door to the boys' dormitories, Remus was coming down the stairs. "Hi," he said, walking down to him. "I was just coming to check on you."

Sirius smiled at him. "Hi. I'm so happy to see you."

"Is everything alright?" Remus asked, as they walked up the dorm.

"Yeah," he said.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I do, I have something to tell all of you," said Sirius.

"Cool."

"Moony?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

"Shh!" said Remus, looking around. "Here? What if someone catches us?"

"Look, there's no one here," said Sirius, checking up and down the spiral stairs. "Come on, just one kiss."

"There's someone just up there," said Remus, and when they reached their landing, Frank was there, just about to walk into his own dorm.

He turned around and nodded at them. Sirius and Remus couldn't tell at all, if he had heard them. "Did Marlene come back?" he asked normally.

"Yeah, she did, it's all good now," said Sirius.

"Good, that's good," said Frank, and grinned. "Alice may forgive me soon!"

They chuckled at him, and he said goodnight to them and walked into his room. Sirius looked quizzical. "I have idea if he heard us-"

Remus leaned in and kissed him.

"Everything okay?" asked Peter, when they walked in, five minutes later.

Sirius sat down on his bed and remained quiet for a few moments. "Everything's fine, but the thing is, Marlene and I..."

"You're in love with each other," said Peter matter-of-factly. Remus made the most perplexed face ever.

"Peter! No!" said Sirius, frowning. James smirked at Remus.

"Then, what? Get on with it!" said Peter.

"You guys must know this. Marlene, she's like the closest thing I have to a sister. She's my oldest friend. She's the only one other than Regulus who truly understands what I've been through, no offense to you guys," he said, and the others shook their heads.

"None taken, mate. Go on," said James.

Peter felt terrible. This whole time he'd thought they were secretly shagging, but turns out, that wasn't true at all. _Sister?! I should be ashamed of myself!_

"It's like... everything sensible about me, exists only because of her!" he explained.

"Not that there's a lot of that, but yeah," said James, grinning.

"When I was younger, I couldn't understand my parents at all, and they couldn't understand me. It was all so confusing, but she really helped me," said Sirius.

"We get it. We get it, now," said Remus, nodding. The others nodded too.

"Okay," said Sirius, looking away.

" _Okay_ , and?" asked Peter.

"And, she's not one of the _people_ who messes with Sirius Black. Don't don't treat her like one!" said Sirius, looking angrily at the the three of them.

Remus looked bewildered, but James said, "Ah," and Peter looked pursed his lips and looked at James.

"What happened? Can someone please tell me?" Remus asked.

"So after you gave Marlene detention and left, we were laughing at her. Peter said she totally deserved it and she just shrugged. Evans told her that it was so the firsties would learn not to behave badly in the Great Hall…" said James, and looked quite guilty.

"So?" asked Remus, and James looked at Peter and he continued.

"Well, Evans said she was an example to the firsties. But Prongs here told her that she was an example to people who wanna mess with Sirius Black. But I don't get what's so bad about that?"

"Oh... oh no!" said Remus, grimacing at Sirius.

"What? What did I say?" asked James nervously.

"I don't know how to explain this, Remus," said Sirius.

"Well, you see, before the Marauders, before Hogwarts, before anything, there was Marly and Siri. Best friends, always looking out for each other, always there for each other. And then we come along and have the nerve to give her detention for throwing a drink at his face, and tell her that she can't mess with him," said Remus.

"Oh! Ooooh!" said James, in dawning comprehension.

"But it was just a joke, I don't get why-" Peter began.

"It was. And normally she would take it as a joke, but we all have to agree that, lunch today was quite an emotionally charged time for all of us," said Remus.

"What do you mean?" asked Peter, now sounding frustrated.

"Take Sirius. He makes jokes about his family all the time. He laughs when we tease him about it. But he still got pretty mad at Marlene today, for mentioning his family," he explained.

"So what?" asked Peter.

"So, just like Sirius didn't appreciate people mentioning his family at a time like that, she didn't appreciate us making her feel like an outsider, telling her what to do in regard to Sirius, especially when she was already feeling guilty about saying that to him," said Remus, patiently, as James nodded sagely at Peter.

"Oh," said Peter, finally.

Sirius smiled at Remus. "You're perfect," he said.

James pointedly cleared his throat. "So, should I apologise to her? Clearly, it was all my fault," he said.

"No!" said Sirius and Remus at the same time.

"I didn't tell you guys all this to make you apologise to her. I just wanted to let you know what she means to me. She knows me. I mean, really knows me. For Sirius Black, Marlene and the Marauders have an equal footing. So even if she does something stupid like throw a drink at my face, you can just sit back and laugh at me. No need to get all protective," said Sirius, grinning at them.

Remus rolled his eyes, and Sirius laughed. " _Moony_!"

"What? Would you just sit back and laugh if someone... Lily threw a drink at my face?" he asked.

"Lily's different," said Sirius.

"Not really," said Remus. "Lily's my Marlene."

Sirius nodded. "Okay, if Lily ever throws a drink at your face, I'll try to laugh," he said, grinning.

"We'll see."

A few days later, Lily and Remus were doing their Prefect rounds at night. "I'm so tired, that Arithmancy test sucked all the life out of me," said Lily, yawning. "I need to go to bed."

"Okay, why don't you go check the Owlery and I'll go this way, meet back here when we're done? That way, it'll be over quicker," said Remus.

"Yeah," said Lily, turning right into a new corridor, while Remus walked straight. She walked along the corridor past the bust of Paracelsus to the Owlery, but then-

" _Yoohoo!_ " she heard someone say in a sing-song voice.

 _Peeves!_ She whipped around and shrieked. The bust of Paracelsus was floating in mid-air.

"I won't drop this on your head, if you answer my riddles," said Peeves, popping back into visibility and moving the heavy bust around dangerously.

"Fine, I'll answer them!" she said nervously.

"What flower rhymes with hill?"

"Er, daffodil."

"Ooh, clever little girl. What flower rhymes with fancy?"

"Pansy."

"What flower rhymes with willy?!"

"Peeves!" said Lily indignantly.

"Wrong!" he said, and darted towards her in a millisecond.

"AAARGH!" she yelled and turned around and ran towards the owlery, hoping barricade herself in it. Peeves zoomed after her, holding the bust and chortling like a maniac, which he probably was.  
Four people heard the scream. Remus heard it and ran in her direction. Filch, who was forever trying to get Peeves expelled, heard it and immediately knew it had something to do with him. He ran up the stairs towards the corridor, with Mrs. Norris at his heels. Professor Arsinoe, who had been brushing his teeth, heard it, but he couldn't be too sure, it had been so faint. He quickly rinsed his mouth and put on his dressing robe and picked up his wand. James, who had been inside the Owlery, sending a letter to his parents, also heard it, and put his invisibility cloak on and curiously opened the door.  
Lily didn't know how or why the Owlery door had opened of its own accord, neither did she care at that moment, she just plowed on ahead. James was so shocked to see her running at him, that he didn't move out of the way fast enough, and she crashed into him. They both fell to the floor.  
"Ew," she said, opening her eyes and realising she lay sprawled on the Owlery floor which was covered in owl droppings and skeletons and some half-eaten bodies of rats and voles. Then she tried to sit up, but she couldn't, she had sprained her wrist. "Ow," she moaned.

James motionlessly lay watching her, hidden under the invisibility cloak. He wanted to help her up, but he didn't want to reveal himself either.

A moment later, she suddenly remembered that she had bumped into someone, and quickly sat up, ignoring the pain in her wrist and looked around the room wildly. "Who's there?" she asked uncertainly.  
Some of the owls hooted back to her, thinking she was asking for them. "Not you guys," she said to the owls and slowly stood up. She was so sure she had bumped into someone, cos it had definitely felt solid. Then she heard footsteps outside the Owlery.

"Peeves, put that bust back, that's an antique," she heard Remus say.

"Oooh, Loopy-Lupin and Lily-Willy?" asked Peeves, and made loud, distasteful kissing sounds.

"PEEVES!" shouted Filch and ran towards them. "I've got you this time! And I have witnesses too, it's perfect!"

Professor Arsinoe then appeared at the end of the corridor. "Mr. Filch, please may I ask what all this commotion is about? Why are you shouting so loudly, it is the middle of the night!"

"But professor! The poltergeist! He has the bust of Paracelsus!" he said, pointing dramatically at Filch, who had already taken this opportunity to put the bust back in its place. "No, but he had it! He had it! You, Lupin, you saw it, didn't you?"

Remus nodded. "He had it, professor, I think he was threatening to drop it on Ms. Evans," he said, and entered the Owlery, covering his nose. He took one look at Lily, covered in owl doo-doo, and burst out laughing at her.

"It isn't funny, I think I sprained my wrist," she said. They could hear Filch arguing with the professor outside.

"You have some pieces of rat skeleton in your hair," he said, pointing at her and laughed again.

"Yuck!" she said, checking her hair immediately. Then she looked fearfully at him. "Remus, is there any other ghost at Hogwarts that can turn invisible other than Peeves?"

"No, I don't think so, why?" he asked her.

"When I ran in here, I crashed into someone, that's why I fell, there was someone here," she said worriedly. "There was someone standing right where you're standing."

Remus took out his wand and scanned the room. It wasn't completely dark, but he still lit his wand. "There isn't anyone here, Lily," he said, breathing deeply. Then he glanced in James' general direction, and James realised that Remus probably hadn't been able to smell him earlier because of the uric acid in the owl excrement and overwhelming stench of the rotting bodies of small mammals.

"No there was, Remus, I could have sworn there was," she said.

"But there's no one here Lily," he repeated, glancing angrily in James' direction, because he didn't like lying to Lily.

"No, there was!" she said again. "Because I bumped into them, and- and-" She remembered the other reason why she was so sure. She had smelled them when she had bumped into them, and they had the same scent she smelled in the love potion Slughorn had prepared. "The smell," she said to herself.

"What smell?" he asked her.

But she didn't want to tell him, the whole thing was something really odd. Amortentia smelled of the things you liked and the people you liked. Not ghosts. _So, does this mean I'm in love with some ghost?! Noooooo!_ She had no idea what was going on. _It's not possible!_ "This is really creepy," she said. "Is there a spell that can make a human invisible?"

"There's the _Disillusionment Charm_ ," he said.

"Can you cast it powerfully enough to make yourself completely invisible?" she asked.

"Lily there's no one here except us, trust me," he said. Outside, Filch and the professor were still arguing.

She scratched her head frustratedly. Now she was less sure of herself. _Was it just my imagination?_ "Perhaps there's a spell in place to prevent students from entering the Owlery after hours," she said. "Or maybe Peeves did something to block the area? To prevent me from escaping?" she asked Remus. But none of those reasons explained the nice smell.

"Lily, are you alright? Did you hit your head or something?" Remus asked, walking towards her.

"No, but I sprained my wrist," she said.

"Ouch, that looks painful, it's starting to swell," he said, examining her wrist with two fingers. "Come on, let's get you to the Hospital Wing. But don't touch me, we can keep a distance of two feet," he said, dodging her hand. He laughed and exited the Owlery and Lily followed him out, casting a final careful glance around the place.

"My dear, are you alright?" asked the professor, walking up to them, and vanishing the bird-poo off of her. Peeves appeared long gone.

"She's sprained her wrist," Remus told him.

"Because the poltergeist was chasing her, wasn't he?!" asked Filch, he looked almost mad with anger.

"Yes, he was, he was going to drop the bust of Paracelsus on top of me," she said.

"Hah! See?" said Filch triumphantly.

"Well, why don't you lodge a complaint with the Headmaster, then? You can have all of us as your witnesses," said the professor, eager to get rid of Filch.

"Yes!" said Filch, and turned around.

"Not _now_ , you can do it tomorrow morning, no need to disturb the Headmaster at this late hour for something so trivial," said Professor Arsinoe.

"Trivial?! Why..." said Filch, he was extremely frustrated, no one understood the dangers Peeves posed to the school.

"Will you be able to take her to the Hospital wing?" the professor asked Remus.

"Of course, sir," he replied.

"Alright, go on, then," he said.

As Remus led her to the Hospital wing, he could hear James' soft footsteps close behind them. Lily didn't hear them, she was still thinking about the smell. That fresh smell. James just hoped that by 'smell', she hadn't meant his cologne, which his mum had got for him from France, which smelled of the ocean breeze. But that was the exact smell she was thinking of.


	77. Long-thorn Kiawe

**Author's note: To the guest who reviewed, saying this is the best fanfic they've ever read, I am so incredibly honoured! Thank you so much, you have no idea how happy I am right now, just jumping with joy!**

* * *

"Hmm," said Madam Pomfrey, taking a look at Lily's wrist. "Take a bad fall, did you?"

"Peeves," said Lily simply, which explained everything.

Madam Pomfrey nodded gravely at her. "I have no idea what the Headmaster was thinking when he let Peeves stay on," she said. "Well, there's nothing much we can do for immediate relief, I'll just bring you a potion to reduce the swelling. Does it hurt a lot?"

"Only when I move it," answered Lily, trying to move her wrist.

"Better not move it then," Poppy said, smiling and placing a hand on her wrist. "Is this your dominant hand?"

"Thankfully, no," said Lily.

"Good, I'll get you that potion then," said Poppy and walked over to her chamber.

The two of them sat silently for a few moments, and then Remus snorted, chuckling to himself.

"What?" she asked crossly.

" _Lily-Willy_!" he said, laughing.

"Well, how about your nickname, Loony-Lupin?" she said.

"It's actually Loopy-Lupin, but that's an old one, everyone knows it. Lily-Willy on the other hand, is _hilarious_! Nice and fresh!"

"Remus, you're so mean!" said Lily, punching him lightly on his arm. He didn't feel a thing.

 _Yeah, you meanie_. James agreed with her internally.

"Swear you won't tell anyone about that nickname?" she said. "That Peeves have got it in for me these days, and I have no idea why... the other day he grabbed my nose, and today, this!"

"Well, what's in it for me?" he asked, grinning.

"Are you blackmailing me, Remus?"

"Why, yes I am, Lily-Willy," he replied.

"Alright, what do you want?" she asked resignedly.

"Take my next shift, please?" he said, with pleading eyes. "You have no idea how much homework I have, and the _full moon is approaching_ ," he whispered.

"Jesus, okay!" she said.

"Thank you Lily, I love you," said Remus happily. James shook his head.

"Right now, I hate you to the core!"

Remus laughed.

"Here you are, dear," said Madam Pomfrey. She was back with two brass bottles of potion and a tablespoon. She poured some into the spoon and gave it to Lily.

Lily swallowed the potion, it tasted alright. "Alright, we should get going now," said Lily, jumping to her feet. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey."

"Not so fast, young lady," said Poppy, pushing her back onto the bed. "You're not done yet, you don't look so good. You need to take this second potion as well," she said, pouring a spoonful and shoving it into her mouth before she could protest.

Lily grimaced as she swallowed the potion. This one tasted terrible. "That was disgusting, what was that Madam Pomfrey?"

"It's a little Strengthening Solution, dear, nothing much," said Poppy.

Remus smiled at Lily, he knew how bad Strengthening Solution tasted. But Lily thought he was making fun of her. "What are you smirking at, Remus? Madam Pomfrey, you ought to give Remus some of this too, he's so overworked and fatigued, that he practically begged me to take his shift just now," she said immediately.

"Is that so?" asked Madam Pomfrey, turning menacingly towards him, holing the damned bottle.

"No, I'm perfectly fine," said Remus, backing away.

"No, I suggest you have some too," said Poppy, pouring some for him too.

Lily quickly got up and held onto hm to prevent him from running away.

"Wow Lily, your upper body strength is- wait, that's just cos of the Strengthening Solution," said Remus. _What an idiot I am._ "Noooo," he said, as the spoon came nearer and nearer. James had to cover his mouth to prevent himself from laughing out loud.  
Then the spoon touched his lips and he had to open his mouth. "Ugh, that was vile," he said, swallowing the potion. "Are you happy now, you little _hag_!"

"Very," said Lily, with an evil grin.

"No thanks to you, Madam Pomfrey," said Remus crossly.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Remus, this isn't the first time you've had this potion," said Poppy, and Lily suddenly felt bad for him. _Oh, he must have had to drink this potion many times over the years. Perhaps after every time he transformed._

"Come on Remus, let's go," said Lily, taking his hand, and the two of them went to finish their rounds, while James went to bed, smiling to himself. It was a treat for him, every time, to watch Lily's and Remus' interaction. There was something about the two of them together, that made him very happy to be in their presence.

It was early on Saturday morning, a few hours after midnight. Dog enthusiastically ran after Wolf and caught up to him. Stag could easily run as fast as them too, but he had to be careful not to get his antlers caught in one of the branches. The trees in this part of the Forbidden Forest were so wild-looking and grew so close together, that it was difficult for even an animal to navigate through them. Then it heard sounds of a playful scuffle and stepped into a clearing, where Wolf and Dog were chasing each other. Stag was happy to watch them. Sirius had it good here. As human, he got to experience Remus, and as Dog, he got to experience Wolf. And Stag felt that after suffering so much at the hands of his parents, Sirius really deserved to be happy.

Rat scrambled down from the top of his head to the end of his snout, and jumped down to the ground. He looked at the wristwatch strapped to Stag's leg and squeaked.

"What, is it time already?" asked Stag, and the rat nodded. "Come on, Dog, Wolf, we have to go," he told them. Miraculously, both Wolf and Dog obediently trotted back to him, with minimal fuss. But as they were walking back to the Shrieking Shack, Wolf slowed down, sniffing the air. The others tasted a new smell int he air too. Suddenly, an all-brown Centaur jumped out from behind a tree. He was carrying a tiny pure-gold unicorn foal in his arms, the foal looked injured. He looked at the werewolf, who was softly growling at him, the dog and the stag, who looked ready to intervene if something happened, and he didn't miss the rat, sitting on the stag's head.

"Are you three in charge of this werewolf?" he asked.

Stag nodded.

"I thought the werewolf stayed in the house on the hill?" he asked. Dog and Stag exchanged looks. _What did he expect? How could they answer him?_

"I can understand creature, you know," said the Centaur.

"He gets restless, cooped up in the house," said Stag.

"Be careful, this part of the forest belongs to the Centaurs," said the Centaur, and then he turned around and left. Wolf was still growling at the Centaur's retreating back.

"Come on, we have to go," said Stag, poking it in the side with his antlers. Wolf pretended to bite at the antlers, then he ran a little ahead.

"Slow down," said Dog, hurrying after him.

Stag quickly followed them. "No need to slow down, we have to reach the Shack before Moonset," it was saying, but then it heard a loud yelp. Rat squeaked worriedly. When Stag caught up to the two canids, it saw that Wolf was limping. There was a three inch-long thorn, sticking out from its paw.

"Where did that thorn come from?" asked Stag.

"Look at this tree, it's full of those thorns," said Dog, and Wolf whimpered.

"It doesn't look like a native tree, does it?" said Stag, looking up at the tree's leaves and pods. They had no idea why this tree was there, or who may have planted it. If Alice had been there, she would have told them that the tree was a Long-thorn Kiawe, native to South America, South Asia, and was considered a pest in the Islands of Hawaii. The cylinder shaped spikes of this tree could grow up to four inches long, and were able to entirely pierce through rubber slippers, boots, and car/lorry tires. So it was no wonder they had pierced through the footpads of the werewolf.

Wolf whimpered pitifully again, and they realised the wound was bleeding. Stag tried to examine the wound, but Wolf kept pulling his paw away.

"I just want to see," said Stag.

"No!"

"To see, Wolf," said Dog, and looked at the wound closely. The thorn had pierced through the paw and was sticking out from the top!

"We have to remove this!" said Dog.

"No!" said Wolf.

"The lady must not see it," said Stag.

Wolf knew who the lady was, partially, but he didn't care right now. The wound hurt terribly. "No," he repeated.

"Let's go back to the Shack first, then I'll try to remove it gently with my front paws," squeaked Rat in Stag's ears.

"Let's go to the Shack," said Stag, and they slowly walked back to the Shack, Wolf limping along mournfully, dripping blood everywhere.

When they entered through the door, Dog and Rat tried to calm Wolf down, while Stag searched for something to wipe the drops of blood, leading from the front door to the living room. But there was literally nothing in the house that could be used to wipe it up. The wound looked really painful now, the area around it was starting to swell up, but at least the bleeding had reduced. What they didn't know, was that the tips of the spikes of the Long-thorn Kiawe were covered in poison, and often caused bad swelling and bruising. Rat really wanted to get the thorn out before Remus transformed back, because it would probably hurt more for the human than for the werewolf, but Wolf didn't let Rat anywhere near the wound, it kept nudging it away with its snout. And when it started to transform back, there was nothing the others could do except wait and watch.

Stag never watched the transformation, it couldn't bear it. So, it transformed back to human, and went upstairs to bring his wand down. He vanished the blood trail and transformed a piece of splintered wood into a rusty nail. When he returned, Remus was almost back. He took the nail and dipped it in the blood near Remus' leg.

"By Jove, Prongs, what are you doing?!" asked Peter, horrified.

"It's for Pomfrey, she'll wonder where he got the wound from," said James, placing the nail near Remus' leg.

When Remus fully transformed back, Sirius let go of him and covered him with a blanket. "Remus, are you okay?" he asked.

"Ow," said Remus, feeling his foot, without opening his eyes.

"No!" everyone shouted, and he snapped his eyes open. "What?" he asked, looked down at his foot and was horrified. "Oh, _Godric_!" The large spike was in his foot, it had pierced the middle of the foot through to the other side. "What the hell is that?"

"You stepped on the thorn," said Sirius. "There's a tree full of these thorns in the Forbidden Forest."

"Oh God, it hurts so much!" said Remus.

"We wanted to pull it out, but the wolf wouldn't let me," said Peter.

"Pull it out! Pull it out now!" said Remus.

"Okay," said Peter, crouching at his leg.

"Don't look at it, James," Sirius told him, but James couldn't look away. Remus braced himself, and Peter held the foot in place and started counting. "One, two, three, four..."

"Are you counting till ten- OW!" yelled Remus. Peter had pulled out the thorn unexpectedly, and the wound started bleeding freshly again.

"Oh, Merlin!" said Sirius, putting his arm around Remus, who was almost panting, trying to bear the pain.

"Wow, look at it's size!" he said, showing it to everyone.

James turned away, feeling nauseous. "I told you not to look," Sirius said to him.

"Ow, it hurts so much," whimpered Remus, and Sirius felt really bad for him. "I know, Moony," he said, hugging him again. "Madam Pomfrey will be here soon, and she can heal it instantly."

"Should we like, stick the nail into the wound in the thorn's place to make it look more realistic?" asked James, grinning, he was trying to distract Remus from the pain.

"Have you gone insane? It will turn gangrenous!" said Remus angrily. "If it's not already infected with _Clostridium tetani_!"

"I have no idea what you just said," said Sirius.

"Sometimes I just hate purebloods," said Remus crossly, nursing his foot. "Why is it bruised so much? Give me that stupid thorn," he ordered Peter. "What kind of tree is this from?"

"We have no idea, the tree didn't look native, it was covered in these spikes," said James.

"We'll go back today, and you'll show me where the tree is," said Remus.

"Okay, if your leg heals," said James.

Remus only huffed indignantly in response.

"Er, Padfoot, you do realise that Remus is naked underneath that blanket, right?" said Peter, looking at the way Sirius had his arms around Remus, _inside_ the blanket. Remus and Sirius smiled at each other. There probably wasn't a better time than now, to tell him that they were together.

"Pete," said Remus. "Do you remember everything we talked about when we were smoking weed at James'?"

"Yeah, I think so," said Peter. "We talked about the right word for 'vagina'. And... dogs?"

"Also about me," said Remus, trying to focus, but the pain was too much, the wound was throbbing. "Remember that?"

Peter looked at him, trying to remember, but then they heard a noise. It was Madam Pomfrey, trying to come through the trapdoor! The other Marauders silently went and hid in the upstairs room.

"Oh, Remus! What happened?!" asked Poppy, horrified to see the blood everywhere.

"This nail, I think the wolf stepped on it," said Remus, showing her the nail.

"Oh dear," she said, putting her bag down and examining his foot. "It looks really deep, it looks like it pierced the foot completely."

"Ow, careful, it hurts," said Remus. "Yeah, I think it did."

"Did you remove the nail yourself?" she asked.

"Er, no," he said, truthfully.

She opened her bag and took out a small glass bottle labelled, ' _Essence of Dittany_ ', and carefully applied it to the wound with a cotton ball. It started healing immediately, but painfully.

"Ouch!" he said.

Madam Pomfrey vanished all the blood on his foot and around him. Then she examined the wound again. "Hmm, looks good, now, can you stand?"

Remus carefully stood up, holding the blanket in place. "Yeah, it only hurts a little now." he said.

"It still hurts?" asked Poppy, confused. "That's not supposed to happen."

Remus felt guilty. _It's probably still hurting because it's a thorn and not a nail. Was that thorn venomous or something? Did it have like a secretion that prevented healing?_ "It's really not that bad," he told her.

"Okay, put your clothes on and I'll examine your foot again," she said. And when Remus put his clothes on, she took him back to the castle, to the Hospital wing to check the foot again.

"It's a good thing today is Saturday," said James, stretching nicely.

"Yeah, we can sleep!" said Sirius.

"I think I'm gonna drop off right here," said Peter.

"Don't worry, Peter, I'll carry you up to the castle," said James. Peter grinned with relief and transformed back into a rat and James put him on his shoulder.

On Monday, at lunch, Peter and Marlene arrived to the Gryffindor table and sat down excitedly, next to the Marauders. "We just had the most _amazing_ lecture on Mackled Malaclaws by this fantastic-"

"Out-of-this-world!" said Peter.

"-guest lecturer named Mica Bartholomew!" said Marlene.

"Wow, really?" said Sirius.

"Yeah! It was insanely good!" said Marlene.

"Yeah, I remember the whole lesson! _Me!_ " said Peter enthusiastically. "Ask me anything about Malaclaws and I can tell you!"

"Okay, what are they?" asked James.

"That's a silly question! We used their tails in Potions just the other day, they're-" began Sirius, but Remus shushed him.

"They look kind of like lobsters, the adults grow about this big," said Peter, showing them the length with his hands. "And they're grey with green spots!"

"If one of them bites you, you'll have misfortune for a whole week!" added Marlene.

"Hope it didn't bite any of you, then," said Remus.

"No, they didn't," said Peter, chuckling. "And if you accidentally eat them you'll fall ill, you'll get a fever and a rash!"

"He was so amazing, he had this whole adventurous vibe about him," said Marlene, and Peter chuckled again.

"She was mesmerised the whole time," he told them. "She kept asking him questions, just so he would talk to her."

Marlene didn't deny it. Instead, she just laughed. "Well, I did have many questions," she said.

"And he kept calling Kettleburn, Silvanus," said Peter. "It was weird."

"Well, that is his first name," said James.

"But it's still weird hearing someone call him that," said Marlene. "Oh, also, they've confirmed the ball at Christmas, apparently it's only for the professors, delegates and NEWT students, though."

"But we're NEWT students," said Sirius, frowning.

"That's what I meant, nitwit," said Marlene. "It's for us and the seventh years only."

"Ah," said Sirius. "I've been to many balls over the years, they're quite fun, if you have the right company," he added, glancing at Remus.

Remus grinned. "Is that so?" he asked.

"Yes," said Sirius, nodding.

"I've never been to a ball before," said Remus.

"Never?" asked Sirius, and Remus shook his head.

"No, I can't even dance," he said, smiling at Sirius.

"Well, stay close to me on the dance floor then, I'll teach you all my moves," said Sirius.

"Sounds like a plan," said Remus, and they both chuckled, completely forgetting about the people around them.

James and Marlene exchanged looks, amazed at how easily Sirius had asked Remus to the ball. "I guess you have to be born with such talent," said James.

"It helps that he's such a chronic flirt," said Marlene.

"I don't get it," said Peter.

"I'm talking about asking someone to the ball, Wormy," said James.

Marlene was just about to make fun of James, saying they all know whom _he_ wanted to ask to the ball, but then she decided against it. _I should just keep my mouth shut._  
"Alright, I'll go see what the girls are up to now, they're probably already discussing outfit ideas, ugh," she said, getting to her feet.

"You're a girl too," Peter reminded her.

"I know, but they sometimes take it too far. I see a dress I like, I buy it, I wear it, simple," she said. "But they do research. Magazines, I'm sure I'll see copies of that rag called Witch Weekly, floating around over the next couple of months!"

The boys laughed. "My mum gets it for recipes, sometimes," said Remus innocently, and they laughed again.

"Aw, Remus, you're so sweet," she said, ruffling his hair. "Yes, the recipes in there are good, I agree. And Pete, no need to worry, I'll look out for a girl who likes pranks and hook you up," she added, then she winked at him and walked away.

"Seems like you two have become good friends, Pete," said James.

"Yeah, she's pretty cool," said Pete, helping himself to some Shepherd's Pie. "If she didn't have a boyfriend, I would mind spending an evening with her. Just as friends, mind!"

"Yeah, we get it, Pete," said Sirius. "And if she wasn't going with Iker, I'm sure she wouldn't mind going with you."

"That was awfully nice of her to offer help to find a girl for you," said James.

"The younger years aren't allowed, but if we ask someone, they can come, so I'm sure some girl will be curious enough about the ball to come with me," said Pete.

"Well, even if she's just curious, we can make sure she has a good time, right?" said Sirius, and Peter grinned.

"Yeah," he said, and started eating his pie again.

'Good job', James mouthed to Sirius. He grinned at James, and then he and Remus went back to smiling at each other again.

Minerva McGonagall stared at her office door thoughtfully. _Hmm_. She had completely forgotten about getting back at the Marauders in case they pranked her again, but when Pettigrew had asked her for Ginger Newts the other day, she was suddenly reminded of it again. There was a lull in the Marauders' pranks right now, but it wasn't the time to relax, because she knew they always struck in the most unexpected of times. What she needed, was a retaliation plan, so that if they pranked her, they would get pranked instead. But just like their own pranks on her, it needed to be something simple, yet effective, there wasn't a need for elaborate schemes. Then the perfect idea came to her. _Muggle Electoral Ink! Hadn't an illegal container of Electoral Ink been confiscated by Apollyon Pringle in 1968?_  
From inquiring Argus Filch about it, she found that all the previous years' less-dangerous confiscated items were stored somewhere on the seventh floor, but he didn't know where. He gave her the name of Tory the house-elf, who was in charge of the move every year, and upon meeting Tory, an ancient house elf with mottled hands, he politely sat her down at one of the kitchen tables, handed her a cup of tea, ran off to the seventh floor and came back with the container for her.  
Delighted, she went back to her office and smeared the door with the Ink. Then she performed a complicated charm on the door, and the ink was immediately absorbed by the door. Then she performed another charm on it, so that, if anyone other than her tried to force their way into her office, the ink would ooze out from the door and stain their hands. And since the ink was indelible from two to three days, she'd tell everyone what had happened, and thus everyone would know that they'd tried to prank her, but had been unsuccessful. _That'd teach them to be careful with professors._  
But this brilliant plan of hers backfired gloriously, and Professor Dumbledore and Aslaug Velum, one of the delegates, were seen walking around, their hands and the sides of their faces, covered in black ink for three days. It was completely absurd. All the students wondered what must have happened, and started spouting various theories about it, each more outrageous than the last. But soon, most of them were exhausted, and as most teenagers do, they all reached one conclusion. Kinky sex. Dumbledore and Velum must have been doing the deed in some store room, and the ink must have fallen on them, they all decided.

The Marauders were divided in their opinion. Remus and Sirius thought that that was the most implausible thing ever, while Peter and James thought it was the most probable thing, and they debated over it. Finally, it was decided that they would find out the truth for themselves. It was easy, they had the invisibility cloak. Sirius and James hid under it and discreetly entered the Staff room. The two annoying gargoyles on the either side of the Staff room door, creakily turned their heads, suspiciously searching for rogue students, but they didn't spot anyone. There were only two people in there, sat in two of the mismatched wooden chairs, the ghost of Cuthbert Binns and Kettleburn, and they were both snoozing. Sirius and James sneaked into an old wooden wardrobe and waited there.


	78. Redcurrant Rum

"Why, James?" Sirius whispered, hidden inside the old wardrobe in the Staff room.

"Why... this whole wardrobe smells like Citronella oil? Apparently it repels doxies," said James. "Jani told me."

"Not that!" said Sirius.

"Then what?"

"Why does everyone cry over the destruction of the library at Alexandria, but no one cries over the destruction of the library at the University of Nalanda?" asked Sirius, and James could tell from his tone, that he was really serious.

"Oh, I know about it, Professor Zhao mentioned it when he was teaching us about Tantra. It was a university in Northern India, right?" said James.

"Yeah, it was the first of its kind - circa _fifth century CE_. Scholars from all over the world traveled there to study," said Sirius. "Oh Merlin, look at some of these cloaks," Sirius then said, lighting his wand and making a face. "They're all so old-fashioned!"

James laughed at the abrupt change of topic. "Only you would point out something like that in a place like this," he said.

"Well, they are, look at this one! There's a portrait at Grimmauld Place from the _1600's_ , and I think someone was wearing something like this in it!"

"Well, I agree, that's very old," James had to say.

"It's ancient!"

Suddenly, they heard the Staff room door open and someone walked in. "Filius, what are you saying?" they heard Professor Sprout say, in shocked tones. They thought it was something serious, until she started laughing.

"It's the truth, Pomona, I heard it from the Headmaster himself," they heard Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice say. "He said that when he asked Minerva about it, she had told him that-"

Professor Kettleburn suddenly snorted awake. "Are you talking about the ink on their faces?" he asked them.

"Yes, let me tell you what happened exactly," said Flitwick, and fifteen minutes later, the two Marauders were running up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower as fast as they could.

Remus was sitting in a cosy armchair by the fire, pleasantly reading an article named 'Lycanthropy vs. Werewolfry', by ex-Hogwarts professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts, Arsenius Jigger. It was printed in a vintage copy of _Transfiguration Today_. Peter was on the couch opposite him, lazily flipping through another copy.

"You will never believe what we've found out!" yelled James, skidding to a halt in front of Remus' armchair. Remus looked up at him, startled. All the students around them looked over.

" _SHSHSH!_ " said Lily, for the nearby table.

"Sorry!" whispered James, taking the journal out from Remus' hands.

"Hey, my book!"

"You'll get it back after you hear this!" said Sirius.

"So did you find out?" asked Peter eagerly.

James beckoned at him to come closer. "Apparently, Dumbledore's been so busy lately with security for the castle and handling the delegates, that he'd completely forgotten about McGonagall's birthday, which was on the fourth!" he whispered.

"So he and Velum got her a birthday cake and went to her office, but she didn't open, so they tried to listen through the door-" said Sirius.

"She had this charm on her door, if someone other than her tried to get in, ink would ooze out from the door and stain whatever part was touching the door!" said James.

Holy Merlin! They'd put their ears to the door to listen and got stained?!" said Peter avidly.

"Yes!" said Sirius.

Remus gasped dramatically. "You know what this means, right?" he said conspiratorially.

"What?" asked all three of them.

"She did it for _us_! So, we couldn't get in!" he said excitedly.

"By Godric, you're right! Remember her expression when Pete let slip about those Ginger Newts?!" said James.

"Exactly!" said Remus.

"I knew you'd have an interesting take on this, Moony," said Sirius, grinning at him. "Also, I wanted to prank her for not giving James full points for the -fig lesson, but never got around to it!"

"She was prepared for us this time!" said Peter.

"But it backfired!" said James, and they all laughed. "This is so good."

"No, no, it's brilliant, this brings a new challenge to us," said Remus. "Now, we have to prank her despite the ink-door!"

"But don't you think she'd have taken it down after the backfire?" asked Peter.

"She mightn't have, cos it worked so well, plus she thinks it will deter us, cos now we know we can't get in," said James.

"She's an enchantress," said Sirius.

"Did you just call Professor McGonagall, an enchantress?!" said James, completely weirded out.

"That is so inappropriate," said Remus.

"She is teasing us," said Sirius, completely ignoring his friends' grimaces, and sat down right there on the floor, in front of the armchair. "We need to come up with a plan."

"We do," said James, also sitting down.

"What do you boys know about _Nruul_ tattoos?" asked Remus, and the other three exchanged grins. The copies of _Transfiguration Today_ lay forgotten beside the armchair.

"Huh? Neural?" asked James.

Remus shook his head. "Nruul. N-R-U-U-L," he spelled it out.

"What are Nruul tattoos, Moony?" asked James.

"Nruul tattoos are specialised tattoos that can only be obtained from Nruul tattoo artists. I've read about them in the _Book of Shadows_ ," explained Remus.

"From the Restricted Section?" asked Peter nervously.

"Yes, but listen. No one knows where Nruuls come from, " said Remus. "Some say they are from another planet, but the author believes that they're from a group of seemingly uninhabited Sub-Antarctic Islands called the Antipodes. The Ministry don't have a record of them, because they think they are Goblins, because they look similar."

"Wow," said Peter.

"There's a Nruul tattoo shop in Knockturn Alley," said Remus.

"I'm sorry, _Knockturn Alley_?" said James.

Remus grinned. "Yeah." Peter looked a little scared. "We're not going there, Wormtail, we're just buying a tattoo from them. We can mail-order it, the tattoos come in a sealed lead box."

"A sealed lead box?! Why?" asked Peter.

"They're Charmed, that's why."

"Moony, if my parents see 'Knockturn Alley' on my Gringotts statement, they'll be really alarmed," said James. Because he was the one who made all the mail-order purchases, and the others paid him back in cash, because he was the only one with his own bank account.

"That won't be a problem, I'll write to Uncle Alfie to buy it for us, and then we can pay him back later," said Sirius.

"Perfect!" said James. "Okay, so how does the Charm work?"

"We'll need to modify it a bit, but -"

"Is it one of those moving tattoos?!" asked Peter excitedly.

"No, those are just Wizarding tattoos," said Remus. "Nruul tattoos remain stationary, but they can move where they are, and they change shape every set time, and they last only for like a week or two."

James and Sirius grinned identically and exchanged glances, understanding where Remus was going with this, and Remus nodded. "All we need is one of McGonagall's hair for the charm to work."

" _Excuse me_?" they heard someone say, and looked up. Lily was standing there with her arms folded. She looked angry. "Did I just hear you say 'one of McGonagall's hairs?!" she whispered hotly.

"No!" said James immediately.

"Don't lie, I heard him," she said, glaring at Remus. "Remus, _you are a Prefect_!"

"We're not doing anything illegal, Lily."

"Are you four brewing Polyjuice Potion, because-"

"We are not!" said Sirius. "Why don't you just mind your own business, Lily, instead of eavesdropping on us?!"

"I wasn't, I only came here because I had a doubt in our Transfiguration homework!" she told him. "I thought I'd ask James, because he proclaims to be such an expert in it!"

"What's your question?" asked James.

"I can easily ask Professor McGonagall," she said slowly. "When I go to tell her WHAT YOU FOUR ARE UP TO!" Then she whipped around and quickly walked towards the Portrait hole.

"Stop her, McGonagall mustn't be warned!" said Peter, and the four boys ran after her. Everyone in the Common room looked over curiously.

"Lily, Lily wait!" said Remus, pulling her hand to make her stop, while James and Peter blocked the Portrait hole. "It's just a silly prank, it isn't dangerous or anything!"

Lily pulled her hand out from his grip. "Anything that involves the person's DNA is dangerous _and_ illegal!" she said. James and Peter exchanged glances. _What is DNA?_

"We just need her DNA for the charm to be able to recognise her, nothing else!" said Remus.

"Yeah, listen, I'm sorry I thought you were eavesdropping, okay?" said Sirius. "I know you would never do that."

"You're just saying sorry cos you have to, not because you want to!"

"What?" said Sirius, not understanding.

"Lily, it's just a silly prank, you don't want be a squawker, do you?" said Peter, as usual, displaying his knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

"First you say I'm eavesdropping, now you call me a squawker?!" she asked furiously. "Move out of the way now!" She used non-verbal Trip Jinxes on both James and Peter, and they fell out of the way in an instant. Then she quickly dodged Remus and stepped out of the Portrait hole and walked away.

"How the hell did she do that?!" asked James, getting to his feet.

"Who cares? Follow her!" shouted Sirius, but the Portrait hole won't open. They banged on it.

"Fat Lady, what are you doing?! Open your portrait!" said Peter loudly.

"I have strict instructions not to open the portrait for you four," said the Fat Lady from the other side.

"Come on, Fat Lady, don't be like this," said James.

"Fat Lady, I will burn a hole through you! Where's my wand?" said Sirius, searching his pockets and taking his wand out.

"Sirius, calm down!" said Remus. "Fat Lady, I'm a Prefect too, and you can't bar my access, you know."

The Fat Lady sighed. "Fine," she said, and pushed forward. They all rushed out.

"You have a terrible temper, son," she said as Sirius walked through.

"I will rip you apart!" he said, and Remus held him back.

"Pads, what is the matter with you?! She's a portrait!" he scolded.

"She drives me insane, this is not the first time she's done this!" yelled Sirius.

"Come on, you two, Lily's probably half-way down to McGonagall's office by now," said James, and they ran down the stairs and caught up to Lily.

"Lily, how about if we tell you what we are actually doing? Will you stop, then?!" shouted Remus.

"Remus!" said Sirius and Peter, but it worked. Lily stopped and turned around, with her eyes narrowed. "Will you tell me the whole truth?"

"Yes!" said Remus.

"I'm listening," she said, folding her arms.

"We'll tell you, but you have to promise to keep an open mind, alright?" he said, and Lily nodded. Remus nodded at James, who began telling her everything, from when Sirius decided to prank McGonagall, to the Indelible Ink to the Nruul tattoo.

"So, they're not permanent? Are you a hundred percent sure?"

"Yes, positive!" said Remus.

"Fine, I won't tell her, but I still need to see her for this question," she said.

"I can explain it to you," said James quickly. "Come back to the Common room."

Lily looked at all their faces for a few moments and then started walking back to the Common room. She didn't admit it to them, but she quite liked the idea of the temporary tattoo. The Marauders heaved a sigh of relief and followed her back to the Common room.

 _Dear Sirius,_  
 _I was overjoyed to receive your letter. I'm happy to purchase the Nruul tattoo for you, but you don't have to pay me back, it only costs like three galleons. Don't hesitate to write if you need anything else. Boris says hello._  
 _Yours,_  
 _Alphard._

Two weeks later, Minerva sat down at her desk to grade the sixth-year essays. As soon as she picked them up, her left forefinger touched Peter's essay, and the tattoo charm was activated. A tiny, crudely drawn picture of a wolf appeared on the forefinger. The minuscule wolf appeared to be howling to the moon.

"What in the name of-" Minerva said, and tried to rub it off with her other hand. But it didn't budge. Then she tried vanishing it, but it didn't. She tried ever removing/ erasing charm she could think of, but it didn't go.

" _Marauders!_ " she said to herself petulantly and went over to Professor Flitwick's office and showed him the tattoo.

"This isn't a wolf, Minerva, it appears to be a deer, grazing," said Flitwick, wondering how Minerva was so grossly mistaken. "It might not be them at all."

"What!" said Minerva, taking her hand back. "I could have sworn it was a howling wolf just a moment ago!"

"Well, I'm guessing it changes then," said Flitwick.

"I know it's them, Filius, now can you help me or not?" she said.

Even he tried every erasing charm he knew, in many languages too, but nothing worked. He even tried several stain-removal charms, but they didn't work either. Neither did making it invisible. "I'm afraid this seems to be made with permanent ink, Minerva," he said, in the end.

"Unbelievable, they have really crossed the line this time!" she said irately. "We'll see what Albus has to say about this!"

"Suspension?!" asked Albus, appearing only pleasantly surprised. "A permanent tattoo doesn't seem like their style, may I see it?"

Minerva gave him her left hand. "That's looks like a dog, trotting along," he said.

"Yes, and earlier, it was a howling wolf, and a grazing deer," she told him, and he chuckled. "You seriously don't think this is funny, Albus? I want all four of them suspended today."

Albus grinned up at her. "Is this because they've managed to prank you, despite your Ink-door fiasco?"

"Very funny. No, it's because this hideous thing is permanent!"

"I quite think it's adorable," said Albus. "I think I want one now- Oh!" And as they watched, they dog morphed into a rat, sniffing the air. "Hold on, I think I know what this is, this is a Nruul tattoo! Ingenious!"

"I thought Nruuls were fictitious characters found in fantasy novels!" she said.

Albus chuckled and shook his head. "Nruuls are similar to Goblins. They can live both on land and water, they're mostly found in Antarctica and the islands surrounding it," explained Albus. "They specialise in pottery, stonework, paintings, and all type of body art, including piercings and tattoos."

"So this is a Nruul tattoo?" she said, looking closely at it again.

"Yes, you can tell by the way the ink shimmers in low light, observe," he said, extinguishing all the candles in his office. The rat shimmered very slightly.

"They're not permanent, they last around a week and a half or so," said Albus.

"That's a relief," said Minerva.

"The Marauders are very talented," said Albus, lighting all the candles with a wave of his wand. "I can think of other ways their talents can be put to use."

Minerva nodded. "They can be serious when they want to," she said. "Anyway, thanks Albus, I'd better get back to grading their essays now."

"So soon? I was just about to open this bottle of fine Redcurrant rum, and was wondering if you'd join me?" he said, showing her the bottle.

"Don't you have Order business to attend to?" she asked.

"Alastor sent me his _Patronus_ , says Caradoc Dearborn has been detained at the Ministry, for some reason," said Albus gravely. "So, there's nothing much to be done until he shows up."

"Okay, go on then, I guess one goblet won't hurt," she said, sitting down.

"Music to my ears, Minnie," said Albus, pouring her a glass.

"Don't call me Minnie," she said.

"Why, is that only reserved for the disowned Black brother?" Albus asked, chuckling.

"Sirius no longer the heir?!" asked Minerva, shocked.

"How can he be? Dorcas Meadowes tells me that Regulus Black has replaced him as the heir now," said Albus.

"A heavy burden on such young shoulders," said Minerva, drinking some rum.

"Very true. But he can play the part admirably well," said Albus.

"Play the part?"

Albus nodded, looking down into his goblet. "There are many people on both sides, already playing many parts in this game. And many of them are young ones, all required to grow up too soon."

Remus entered the library, looking for his two friends, and found them in the Magical Creatures Section, instead of the Defence section, laughing together over what looked like book on dogs. Godric only knew where they had found it.

Sirius laughed. "I don't think I can ever own a bulldog," he said, showing James the picture and laughing again. "Look! Look at it's face... the pushed-in nose and the wrinkles, it looks melancholic. I'll be constantly worried by its expression, thinking it was depressed about something!"

"But you could just ask it if it was, you idiot!" said James.

"I know, but I think I'll be in a constant state of an inert... subtle restlessness because of that face," said Sirius.

"Hmm, I guess you're right," said James. "In that case, you definitely don't want to meet basset hounds," he said, turning the page.

"Oh boy, they're worse!" said Sirius. "These look like they've just endured overwhelmingly terrible Opera for three hours!" And both of them laughed again.

"But if you think about it, Sirius, you'd be the best dog-owner ever," said James. "You'd understand its every need, you could talk to it, you could explain things to it."

"You're right!"

"What are you two reptiles doing?!" Remus asked them, moving in front of them.

"We are _mammals_!" said Sirius indignantly.

"Wasting time, looking at dog pictures while you're supposed to be reading Theory of Defence?" asked Remus.

"We were doing research!" said Sirius.

"For what? What dog you'd own when you get a house? You're already a dog, I don't need more dogs," whispered Remus, sitting down.

"Are you asking me to live with you?" whispered Sirius happily.

"Theory of Defence, Sirius," said Remus. "Come back to the present. Defence."

"Look Moony, this is a Basenji, don't you think it's cute?" asked Sirius, smiling adorably at him.

But Remus resisted his charms. With difficulty. "Where are your books?" he asked him.

"Er, they're in the Defence section," he said sheepishly.

"Come, let's go back there," said Remus. " _Leave the dog book, Padfoot._ "

"Fine!"

And they all stood up and walked over to the corner table. It was now occupied by Pratap and Frank. "See, Pratap and Frank are studying."

"Actually, we aren't, Remus," said Frank guiltily, showing him a copy of the comic, _The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle._

"Hah! See!" said Sirius triumphantly, and Remus looked at him with a poker face.

"Just because others are not studying, doesn't mean you don't need to."

"I prefer _The Phantom_ ," said Pratap, showing them the muggle comic book.

"Very nice," Remus told him. "Now, Sirius, grab your books and let's go."

Sirius picked up his books, and he and James and followed Remus to another table.

"Very bossy, isn't he? Remus," said Pratap, looking over at them. "And Sirius just does everything he's told."

Frank smiled to himself. _  
_

A couple of days later, Sirius sat on his bed and waited for Remus to come out of the bathroom. "Moony, are you done?" he asked loudly.

"No!" came the reply from inside the bathroom, and Sirius and James laughed.

Then James showed him the Marauders' map. "When Peter returns, we should make draw the trees in the grounds," he said.

"Yeah, he's been procrastinating. So, Tugwood wants you to help him teach the firsties to fly?" Sirius asked James.

"Not all of them, there are some firsties who are keen on trying out for the house teams next year," said James. "I'm glad I'm not doing Astronomy any more, cos teaching people to fly properly is tough business, I don't fancy going to Astronomy practical right after!"

"Astronomy? But- When did you say you had to meet Tugwood?" asked Sirius.

"Thursday at seven, why?" said James.

"James, today's Thursday! You should've been there ten minutes ago!" said Sirius, looking at the clock.

"What, I thought today was Wednesday!" shouted James, taking his uniform off and throwing his team jersey on. "Aargh, he'll think I'm showing off cos I'm the star chaser or whatever! Which I am, but I'm not showing off for it!"

Sirius laughed. "Just go."

"Okay, bye, bye, bye!" said James, and ran down the stairs. Sirius laughed to himself.

"What happened?" asked Remus, emerging from the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth.

Sirius smiled at him. "James' training session with the firsties is actually tomorrow, but I fooled him into thinking it's today, he's gone down to the Quidditch pitch," he said, and laughed.

"You're a terrible friend!" said Remus jokingly, and went back in to rinse his mouth.

When he came out, Sirius got up and walked over to the door. "And Peter's studying downstairs with Marlene for their Creatures Quiz," said Sirius, shutting the door and leaning on it. "We're alone."

But what they didn't know was, Peter wasn't in the Common room. He was actually in the wall in rat form, thrilled that he'd discovered an alternate route up to the dorm. There was a small mouse hole underneath James' bed, and Peter squeezed out of it into the room.  
 _This is great. They will be shocked when they see me in the dorm! This is such a fun surprise!_  
Peter came out from underneath the bed and looked innocently up at his two friends.

"Oh? What do you propose we do?" Remus asked Sirius.

"We could always study Theory of Defence," said Sirius, grinning.

"Are you getting back at me for the other day?" asked Remus.

"Alright, what do you suggest we do?" asked Sirius.

"Gain carnal knowledge," said Remus, and a second later, they were snogging. Peter squeaked, and transformed to human mid-squeak, so that when he turned human, he was screaming.

Remus and Sirius screamed too.

"Pete, what the hell, where did you come from?!" yelled Sirius.

"From the- the mouse hole, but what the hell?! What the hell?!" he shouted, pointing at the two of them.

"Wormy, we're-"

Peter couldn't bear to be in the same room as them, he tried to walk around them to the door, but Sirius grabbed his shoulder.

"Pete, wait please-"

"Don't touch me!" he yelled, pushing his hand off roughly. "Don't touch me." Sirius retracted his hand.

He opened the door, and there James was, and he walked in, filled with wrath. "Sirius, you're such an arsehole!" he shouted.

"Don't talk about arseholes!" shouted Peter, pushing James out of the way.

"What happened?" James asked Sirius and Remus, but they said nothing. "Wormtail, where are you going?" he called after Peter.

"I'm going to the Kitchens, to brûlé my eyes with a _fucking_ blowtorch!"

* * *

 **Author's note: I feel the same way Sirius does about bulldogs. And especially about pugs. Met a pug yesterday, and realised I could never own one, cos looking at its inherently sad face made me a little anxious lol. _What is bothering you, O cute one?_**


	79. Five Centaurs Partying

James was so utterly nonplussed, his face looked almost comical. He watched Peter thunder down the stairs and turned to the other two. From at their morose expressions he understood what had happened. "I should probably go after him," he said, and dumped his broom on his bed, grabbed the Marauders' map and his cloak, and went back downstairs.

"This is my fault, James kept saying, 'tell him,' but I was too scared," said Remus.

"For a good reason, you saw how he reacted," said Sirius.

"Sirius, don't feel so bad, he was just in shock," said Remus.

"He said, 'don't touch me'. He said it, those words came out of his mouth," said Sirius, and Remus hugged him.

"Don't be upset, I'm sure he didn't mean it," said Remus.

"But it still hurts like mad," said Sirius. "Now, I think I understand why Mary was so upset that day."

"Oh my God."

James caught up to Peter on the third floor. It would have been sooner, but he had to double back near the library to escape Mrs. Norris. "Pete! Pete!"

"What?" asked Peter, turning around to look at him.

"What happened?" asked James.

"Don't act like you don't know!" said Peter, disgruntled.

"Yes, but why are you mad?" he asked.

"You didn't see them, Prongs, they were kissing each other. On the _mouth_ , it was disgusting!" said Peter.

James checked the Map again and saw Yaxley coming in their direction. "Get under the cloak first," he said, and they both covered themselves with the cloak and waited. "Were you going to the Kitchens?"

" _Yes._ "

"Let's just go there then," said James and they slowly made their way down. Pete stepped out from under the cloak and grumpily tickled the pear and walked in.

"Hello, young masters! Would you like something to eat?" asked a cute little elf.

"Can I get a strong tea, please?" said Peter, sitting down at one of the tables.

James sat down in front of him. "Look, I know this is a lot to handle, but it was probably just disgusting because they are our friends," he said. "I know you, Pete. You're not homophobic."

Peter stared at James. _Does finding that whole scene disgusting, make me homophobic?_ "No James, I think I am. I'm homophobic and I'm not sorry about it," he said.

"Here you go!" said the little elf excitedly, and they couldn't help chuckle at her.

"Thanks!" said Peter, taking the tea.

"Pete, this is not a hard concept to understand, when two people love each other, they should be together," said James, watching him sip the tea. "It's as simple as that."

"Nothing about that is simple," said Peter. "And don't spout those cliched, overused dialogues about homosexuality."

"You said you were okay with homosexuality," James reminded him.

"When did I say that?" asked Peter.

"At my house, at New Year's."

"I remember, but it's different when it's your friends, I guess," he admitted.

"Pete, why is it, though? They're just humans, just like anyone else? Why shouldn't they be allowed to be themselves?" James asked him. The elf placed a large goblet of water in front of James and he smiled at her. Perhaps she'd been feeling bad that he hadn't asked for anything to drink.

"Be themselves? It's wrong, it's perverted, what they're doing," said Peter defiantly, and James sighed.

"Pete, do you remember the conversation you and Moony had, when we were smoking that hashish?" he said.

Pete remembered that this conversation had also been mentioned a few weeks ago, right after full moon, when Sirius was- "Oh, God! Ew!" he said, out loud. He remembered the way Sirius had been holding Remus.

"What? Don't you remember? You said to Remus that you had always thought he was gay, and he admitted to you that he was," said James. "And you were perfectly okay with it."

"I was?"

"Yeah, that's why I said you're not a homophobic person!" said James.

Peter was still grimacing. "I don't remember any of that," he said. "Are you sure it happened?"

"Yes, we all remember except you," said James. "Wormy, perhaps you're not as homophobic as you think you are. At times, people think they have to be homophobic as a matter of principle, for some unknown righteous reason, but you don't have to be. You can just accept-"

"James, it might be easy for you to accept seeing Remus' tongue down Sirius' _throat_ , but it's not for me!" said Peter, a little loudly.

"Pete, that's what I'm trying to say, maybe you're just disgusted because they're our friends. Trust me, I'm not particularly interested in grabbing front-row tickets to their snog-fest either," said James. "But think about it, we hate seeing Marlene and Iker, when they're all over each other, don't we? It's the reason Frank and Alice never indulge in PDA, which I am so thankful for."

Peter was shaking his head, unable to accept it. "It is against nature!" he said. "They should stop!"

James frowned. "Why should we have an opinion about them anyway? Who are we to tell them what to do?" he said.

"We are their friends, of course we should have an opinion!" said Peter.

"Really? Are you actually going to tell them to stop being homosexual?" asked James. " _Hey Sirius, Remus, listen up. What you're doing is wrong, stop it. Oh, it's wrong? Okay, we'll stop_ -"

"I'm not going to say anything to them," Peter decided, getting to his feet. "Anything at all, I'm not talking to them."

James also stood up. _Perhaps, he just needs a few days to calm down._ When they went back to the dorm, Sirius and Remus were sitting on their own beds, waiting for them. But, Pete didn't look at them, he just walked over to his bed and closed his curtains.

"Oh, now you can't even change in front of us? Cos we're gay? Do you think we'll molest you or something?" Sirius asked him angrily.

Peter opened his curtains a couple of inches. "Will you?" he asked, succeeding in rankling Sirius further. Sirius threw a pillow at him in frustration.

"Piss off, Sirius," Peter, said, calmly dodging the pillow. Then he shut his curtains again.

Remus slowly got up and picked the pillow up, dusted it and placed it back on the bed beside Sirius. "At least we don't have to hide anymore," he said, and gave Sirius a loud, sloppy kiss, which was sure to annoy Peter. Sirius grinned at him.

James facepalmed, smiling to himself. His roommates were just one of a kind, each. They should all be kept for display at those muggle museums where anthropologists could study them.

Couple of days later, the day of Lily's extra shift came up, the one she'd promised Remus she'd do for him, and her partner that day was none other than Slytherin seventh year, Salima Shafiq. Lily had never spoken to her much, other than in Prefect meetings, but it didn't bother her, she wasn't a shy person. But she wondered if Salima would feel awkward around her, but then she decided she was overthinking. She went down to the Entrance Hall and Salima was already waiting for her there.

"Hi Lily," she said.

"Hey Salima, ready to do the sweep?" said Lily, pretending to sweep with an imaginary broom.

Salima laughed at the joke, even though it was a weak one. "Yeah, dungeons first?" she asked.

"Sure," said Lily, falling into step next to her. "So," said Lily, trying not to say anything that involved James, Egypt, or that fucking cruise, but those were the only topics popping into her mind. "Er, how is it like, being in seventh year? Is the workload intense?"

"Well, personally I find it similar to the sixth year workload, but since I've become more proficient in non-verbal spells, it's a little easier," she said. Then she smiled, twirling her curly hair with her finger.

"That sounds relieving," said Lily. "You have beautiful hair, by the way, it's so curly."

"My hair! You're hair is so pretty, it's so straight and red, and shiny! Even the red is so unique, it's a dark red, not orange-ish," said Salima.

"Thanks," said Lily. _This is so cliche, girls bonding over compliments... but whatever..._

"Wait a second," said Salima suddenly. They heard noises coming from a locked classroom, but as they walked nearer, they turned out to be rhythmic...like...

"Someone's having fun," said Salima, grinning. She didn't seem to have any qualms about unlocking the door and opening it a little.

"Ah, Shafiq, get lost, will you?!" shouted the boy, not moving from the position.

"Time to er- dismount," Salima replied brightly, through the door. "Come on, chop chop." The boy turned his back to them, zipping up his pants.

"Salima, you only do this cos you've never done it!" snapped the girl, putting her bra back on. In conclusion, Lily found out that Salima and James never did have sex on that cruise, after all.

"You're right, Peony, plus _this is my job!_ " she replied sternly. "Get back to the Common room, or it's detention for both of you."

"No need to get hysterical there, Shafiq," said the boy, grinning.

"Then get a move on, Travers."

"We're going. See ya," he said. Then he winked at Lily and left. Lily felt disgusted.

"And who are you, little one?" asked the girl named Peony, buttoning her shirt.

"Lily Evans," said Lily.

"Ah, the famous Ms. Evans," said Peony. "Been a lot of talk about you in the Common room lately."

"What are they saying?" asked Lily.

"Oh, first everyone bashed Severus for being in love with you. Then, um, I think a few people think you're too bold for a muggleborn, they want to _squash_ your pride with their feet! Oh, how they would love to get their hands on you in some lonely corridor... but it's mostly just Ulna being jealous of your Potions skills, she won't shut up about it, actually," Peony told her.

Lily didn't know what to say, she just gaped at her.

"Close that mouth, lovely, you don't want billywigs flying in," she said, pushing Lily's bottom jaw up to close her mouth. "Ow, ew, did I just touch a muggleborn, now I have to wash my hands," she said, simpering at her.

"You go do that, maybe I'll wash my face too, cos such a bigot touched it," said Lily ired.

"Fiery, they're right," said Peony.

"Peony, just get back to the Common room!" said Salima loudly.

"Going... since you didn't let me come," said Peony, then she winked and walked away.

Salima huffed a breath. "Peony Parkinson, one of Slytherin's finest, and receiver of the Heliotrope Wilkins Award for Excellence in Charms, but in reality, a bigot," she said. Then she turned to Lily. "I hope you don't think all Slytherins are like her."

"What are you talking about? She's such a good-hearted girl!" said Lily, making Salima laugh again. Then Lily smiled. "I don't think that," she said. "I know you're not like them. And Clarice Gladstone, she's really nice too. And Altham."

Salima nodded. "Yeah, those two are our saving grace," she said, as they walked to the upper floors. "And Yi, she's in your Potions class, she's nice too."

 _Slytherin Chaser Lee Ga Yi, the one who always sits next to Ulna Urquart and laughs at me? Oh, well. She's never called me a mudblood, I guess that counts as nice, for Slytherin standards._ "Um, yeah, I've never spoken to her," said Lily.

"Did you want to go to the West Wing? I'll join you as soon as I'm done here," said Salima.

"Good idea," said Lily.

"Be careful," said Salima, remembering Peony's warning.

Lily nodded and turned left. As she walked along the corridor, she heard the sound of someone crying. It sounded like a child, a first year student. She quickened her step and turned left, but she stopped, and took a step back. She saw James approaching a small girl, who was sitting on the plinth of a statue, sobbing. For a horrifying moment, she thought James had said something to make the girl cry, but then he knelt in front of her.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked her gently. The girl looked up at him, and appeared to be terrified. In front of her, was the famous James Potter, sixth year, star chaser of the Gryffindor team, bona fide prankster, and head Marauder! She stared at him with her eyes wide, and James seemed to realise why.

To Lily's surprise, James' demeanour changed completely. It was like he became someone else. He sat down cross-legged in front of her. "Are you feeling homesick?" he asked her, a little awkwardly.

Somehow, all this made the girl feel less shy. she nodded, looking down at her knees.

"Do you want to know a secret?" he asked, and she looked up.

"I was homesick too, in first year," James told her. "I'd never been away from home before, and I cried every night, for three weeks." Lily was surprised.

"You did?" the girl asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah."

"What made you stop?" she asked.

"My friends," he said. "Sirius. He didn't understand why I was sad to be away from home, because he was actually happy to be away from home. Be he was there for me anyway."

"He didn't make fun of you?" she asked.

"No. It's okay to tell your friends things," said James.

"But my friends are all so brilliant, they can do magic so well," she said. "I can't even do one charm properly!"

 _Oh._ James understood what was going on. She was already bad at spells, and now she was too proud to show them her weaker side, for the fear of descending further in their eyes. _Merlin, Ravenclaws have a lot of pride when it comes to academics._

"I could teach you if you'd like," said James.

"Right now?" she asked.

"Yeah. _Wingardium leviosa_?" he said, pointing his wand at the helmet of a suit of armour nearby, and it rose into the air.

The girl took out her wand and tried it, but it didn't move. And Lily smiled to herself as she watched as James sat there for ten minutes, patiently teaching her the spell, when Salima appeared from the other end of the corridor. Lily realised that she must know a shortcut. The little girl levitated the helmet successfully and placed in over James' head, and they were laughing together.

"What's going on here?" she demanded, mock-angrily.

"We're practicing Charms," said James happily, from inside the helmet. Salima lifted his face flap, and he grinned up at her. "Hi."

"Hi," said Salima, sitting down next to them. "I'm Salima," she told the little girl. "What's your name?"

Isabella Wildsmith," she said.

James removed the helmet. "And I'm-"

"We know who you are," said Isabella. James grinned at her and she blushed slightly. James and Salima grinned at each other at that.

"You know, you two shouldn't be here, it's against the rules," said Salima.

"Oh, come on, Prefect Shafiq, just for a little while? I was going to teach Isabella how to perform an all-body bind," said James.

"Fine, but after that, I'm taking you back to Ravenclaw Tower," said Salima.

Lily decided to leave them there and finish her rounds on her own, probably catch up with Salima in another half hour, somewhere, if it happened. Her mind was full of thoughts, she had seen the way Salima and James were looking at each other, something was definitely going to happen between them. And that's why she hadn't interrupted them. Her entering the scene would've made things awkward for sure. But she was definitely proud of the way James had calmed the little girl down. It actually showed how much he had matured over the past year.  
 _Or, he was probably always like that, and I had been too prejudiced to take notice._  
Then she felt a little ashamed of herself for thinking he might have made the little girl cry.  
 _See, that is the difference between you and Salima. She would never think that about him. And that's why she deserves to be with him. Yes_ , she nodded to herself as she checked an empty classroom. _They're both good people, and they deserve to be happy._

The next day in Transfiguration class, James noticed something odd. Professor McGonagall had no tattoo as she returned their essays to them. But he had been so sure that Nruul tattoos don't come off with spells, Remus had done the research, and Remus' research was usually flawless.  
 _Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe he has missed something._  
"Have you guys noticed?" he asked the others.

"Yeah, no tattoo," whispered Sirius.

"Maybe she knows a counter-spell," said Peter, talking only to James.

Remus didn't want to appear boastful about his research abilities, so he said nothing. He looked around at the class, thinking hard. Everyone was looking over their essays, and then he spotted it. A beige fingerprint on Severus' essay, and he understood. He remembered that big container of magical make-up that Mary had unboxed two nights ago, it was a whole thing, their friends from other houses had come over to take a look at the various make-up items. Then he looked over at Lily, she was looking back at him, and accidentally grinned.  
Remus hit the table lightly. "She's put foundation over it!" he whispered.

"Foundation?" asked Sirius, thinking of pillars under houses.

"It's like a cream girls put on their faces," Remus explained. "It _hides imperfections_."

"Interesting," said Sirius. Make-up was interesting. He'd seen how David Bowie, the singer, used it to create singular and unique looks for himself in his songs. _Oh, he's so hot._ Make-up artist Pierre LaRoche had once said that David Bowie had the perfect face for make-up. _Hmm_. He wondered if Marlene would show him something. Anything.

James stood up. "Cheating!" he called out to the professor.

"What?" she turned to face him.

"You're cheating," he said, pointing at her hand.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Potter, now sit down and don't talk nonsense," said Minerva.

"Or what? Will you put me in detention?" he asked, and everyone around him braced themselves for the hellfire, i.e., Professor McGonagall's wrath unleashed.

Minerva knew, if she put the Marauders in detention for this, they'd somehow think they'd won. So, she didn't. "Mr. Potter, no matter now many times Mr. Filch has made you clean the Entrance Hall, or dust all the broom cupboards, it doesn't seem to have any effect on you," she said, and the students chuckled. "Would you like to teach another lesson? Next in the syllabus, we have-"

"No thanks," said James, quickly taking his seat again. "Merlin's balls, this has all been so anti-climatic!"

"But you're so good at teaching, James, you should go for it," said Lily, unable to resist. "Wildsmith recommends it."

James grinned at her, surprised that she knew about it. Sirius glanced at her too, thoughtfully.

"You sneaky thing, you gave Professor McGonagall that foundation to cover up that tattoo, didn't you?" Remus whispered to her.

"You were on her side the whole time, and we didn't even know!" Sirius whispered to her.

"You narc," Peter said to her.

"Some things just happen that way, boys," she said. Then she chuckled as she remembered how she had placed the bottle of _Mrs. Allyboll's Fantastical Foundation_ on the professor's table and told her to not let the boys get the satisfaction. The smile Minerva had given her had been priceless.

Couple of days later, Marlene and Peter walked down to Care of Magical Creatures together. "Peter, don't you think your stubbornness has gone on long enough? Why aren't you speaking to Sirius and Remus? They feel terrible, you know?" she said to him.

"Marlene, don't you think it's none of your business? It's kind of personal," he told her.

"Well, I'm your friend, aren't I? And I have an opinion, and I'm going to tell you that opinion!" she said primly.

Peter glanced sideways at her. That had been the same dialogue he had given to James the other day. _I guess friends' opinions don't have complete weight over you, ultimately you made your own choices._ "Look, I don't think what they're doing is right, and I don't need you to tell me what to think about it," he told her plainly.

Marlene sighed. It was hopeless. When she told Lily about it in the evening, Lily didn't look very happy about it either. "I know, I tried to talk to him too, but he called me an idiot for interfering," said Lily. "He said, 'you my lady, are a bumbling idiot'."

Marlene laughed. "First he calls you an eavesdropper, then a squawker, then a narc, now a bumbling idiot!" she said.

"I don't know how many more nicknames has has in store for me," said Lily. "Oh Jesus, what are those girls doing upstairs?! Why does it sound like they're learning to tap dance?"

"Not tap dance, River dance. But not the girls, it's trolls River dancing upstairs," said Alice, walking into the dorm. The girls chuckled. The fourth year girls in the dorm upstairs, were always running around, probably exercising or tickling each other for laughs, but Lily and her friends liked coming up with unique theories as to what they might be doing. - perhaps a was yeti lifting weights, or they were re-grouting the tile (even though they were stone floors, carving the floor with chisel and hammer, moving around the heavy trunks for fun, thestrals stampeding, the yeti skipping for exercise, five centaurs partying, nine ladies dancing, but no leaping lords though, cos men couldn't come into the dorms. Ten leaping lechwes were more likely.

Saturday was Halloween, and once again, the entire castle, especially the Great Hall was covered in spooky decorations, with realistic cobwebs and gigantic spiders crawling around in them. But it was also a Hogsmeade weekend, and the windiest day ever.  
"Moony and I are going to Hogsmeade," said Sirius, putting his scarf on.

"It's so windy though," said James, cracking the window a little and shivering when the breeze brought the cold in.

"We have important business to attend to," said Remus.

"What? Going on a date? Dates can't be postponed, I know that," said James, grinning at them.

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks. "Yeah, it's a date," said Sirius, nodding at James. "See you guys, we'll be back for lunch," he said out of habit, and then the two of them left.

"They'll be back for lunch? Then what is the date for?" asked Peter.

James looked at Peter, at how his curiosity was already outweighing his prejudice. "No idea!" he replied casually. "Did you want to go down and see what the girls are up to?"

"Okay, but let's check the Map first," said Peter. On the Map, he saw the girls in their room. It looked like they were all sitting on the floor in a circle. "It looks like they're performing a seance."

"Peter, ever since you've come back from Transylvania, your thoughts have really taken a dark turn!" exclaimed James, taking the Map from him. "They're probably just playing cards."

"I wish we could join them, you know," said Peter. "Why can't we go to their dorms like they can came into ours?"

"Well, maybe we should start inviting them up to ours more often," said James. "Come, let's go see what Frank and Buach are doing."

"Cool," said Peter, taking a last glance at the dots labelled Remus Lupin and Sirius Black going down the stairs. "Yeah, I'm coming."


	80. Autumnal Cornucopias

"Haaaappy Birthday to you," sang the girls, walking into the Marauders' dorm with a chocolate cake. "Happy Birthday to youuuu," they sang, and James grinned and lit the candles on with his wand.

"Happy Birthday dear Sirius," said Marlene, sitting on the edge of Sirius' bed. Sirius opened and eye, grinned and sat up. "Happy Birthday toooo youuu! Make a wish, sweetie!" she said. He glanced up at Remus, and Remus knew he could wish for anything at all, but he was going to wish for Pete to start talking to them again. Then he blew out all the seventeen candles.

Lily looked up at the ceiling, wondering if there were any smoke alarms that would detect the smoke of the candles, they she remembered how stupid that was, cos it was Hogwarts. These rooms probably had more sophisticated smoke detection charms which would only go off in the event of a real fire. "Here you go," she said, handing him a knife to cut the cake.

"Thanks, Lily," he said, cutting the cake, grinning the whole time. He fed the first piece to Marlene. Everyone clapped. Peter saw that even Frank and Iker were there.

"Time for presents!" said James, excitedly dropping a small box into Sirius' lap.

"No! We want cake!" said Frank.

"Si, we are here only for the cake," said Iker, and everyone laughed. Marlene cut the cake, Frank, Pratap, Mary and Iker took the cake and left.

"See ya Sirius, happy birthday!" "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you," said Sirius, giving Remus the biggest piece of the cake. Even Peter accepted his piece gracefully.

"Okay, now open your present!" said James, he seemed to be reverberating with excitement.

"Okay, okay!" said Sirius, laughing. When he opened it, there was a nice watch in it, with a leather strap and a silver dial.

"It's from mum, dad and me. Mum says it's customary to give a wizard a watch when he comes of age," said James.

"Thanks, mate," said Sirius, hugging him. "This means more than I can say." Then he opened his other presents, Remus had given him new gloves for his motorbike and Marlene a flask for storing his alcohol. "Just don't keep Firewhiskey in it," she said, and everyone laughed.

Lily and the other girls gave him a large uneven wrapped present, inside which there were about a hundred Fizzing Whizzbees. Peter had no present for him this year, but Sirius was delighted nevertheless. "Thank you, thank you girls," he said, opening a Whizzbee. "Have some," he told everyone.

"And finally," said Marlene, gesturing to Lily, and Lily carefully brought out a basket with a lid on.

"Yes!" said Sirius excitedly. "Prongs, come here."

"What's that?" asked James.

Sirius opened the lid to reveal a brown kitten, snoozing under a handkerchief."James Potter, meet Coco."

"Merlin's top hat!" said James. "He's so cute!"

"It's a she," said Remus, smiling.

"I'm guessing you're the one who named her?" asked James and laughed. "Good choice, she's so brown."

"How is she so brown?" asked Peter, grinning at the kitten.

"She's a Havana Brown," explained Remus.

Coco opened her eyes and looked up at James. " _Mew_." Everyone went 'Aww'.

"Hi Coco, hi, I'm glad you're awake," said James, picking her up. "This is your place now," he said, settling her on his shoulder.

"They went to Hogsmeade on Saturday to pick up Coco," Lily told him. "I'm glad you like her. She's yours."

"What?"

"Yeah, we got her for you, I told Madam Rosmerta to keep an eye out for strays or anyone who was selling cats, and she sent me a letter last week saying there was a Mrs. Dubbins on Cthulhu Street, whose cat Missy, had given birth to three kittens."

"Wait a second, you're giving _me_ a cat for _your_ birthday?! That's crazy!" said James.

"It's not, you said you wanted a cat," said Sirius.

"When did I say that?"

"Er, once or twice... or every time you see a cat!" said Marlene, and everyone laughed.

"Padfoot, thanks," said James. "Ow!" The cat was trying to climb into his hair with its sharp claws. Everyone laughed again. Lily smiled to herself as she watched James play with the tiny kitten.

"Are you in love?" Sirius asked Lily. But when she glanced at him, he turned to James, pretending he had directed the question at him.

"Yes, I am head over heels!" said James, stroking Coco's head with a finger.

Lily put some of her hair behind her ears, not knowing why she was feeling awkward. _Why did I think he asked me that?_

Saturday arrived, and brought with it, the most eagerly waited Quidditch match of the year - Gryffindor _vs._ Slytherin. Many of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had excitedly dressed in red and gold, all of them supporting Gryffindor, but now a bit of the enthusiasm was beginning to wear out, because the match wouldn't end. It had been going on for more than three hours now, and everyone was hungry and tired. Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting in the stands, excitedly watching the match's progress.

"I'm telling you, there's no way Gryffindor will win, your brother's too good," Remus said loudly to Sirius.

"James is better, we'll win, you'll see!" Sirius shouted back amid the chants and cheers.

"He's spotted the Snitch, look! He's gonna catch it!" said Remus, pointing at Regulus.

"Moony, wanna bet we'll win?" said Peter, forgetting that he wasn't speaking to them. "If we win, you get drunk with us tonight!"

Remus turned to Peter, delighted that he was talking to them again. "You're on, Wormy!" he said. Sirius laughed with excitement.

"Slytherin seeker Black, is quickly gaining on Bronte. If he catches the Snitch now, Slytherin will win!" Commentator Bellchant's voice boomed out of the magical microphone.

"And Potter will lose!" said Severus emphatically.

Avery glanced sideways at him. _This bloke is more concerned with watching Potter lose than Slytherin winning._ "Go Reggie!" he yelled. All around him, the Slytherins were chanting, 'Regulus, Regulus, Regulus!'

Regulus Black easily zoomed past the Gryffindor seeker on the best broom money could buy, and pursued the Snitch as it flew higher and higher into the sky. Bellchant was screaming something into the microphone now, but he didn't hear it, and his palm closed around the Golden Snitch.  
But when he looked down at the game, red-clad supporters were spilling onto the pitch and surrounding their team, instead of the green. It took a minute for him to realise what was going on. He couldn't believe it. As he slowly made his way down to the ground, he saw that his Captain, Gabriel Kennedy, was trying to make his way towards him, but was being shunted aside by the ecstatic, cheering Gryffindor crowd. Regulus looked around and saw Potter being hoisted onto the shoulders of his supporters and carried back to the castle.

"Reggie, it's not your fault," he heard someone say, and turned around. Avery was grimacing at him.

"I don't get it, what happened? Bellchant said-" Regulus started to say, but someone roughly turned him around.

"Are you deaf?! Why did you catch the Snitch when Potter scored?!" Kennedy screamed in his face, spit flying.

"What! How- Potter scored right before I caught the Snitch? But didn't they need twenty poi-"

"He scored twice, you idiot! Oh, I have a team full of _buffoons_ , that's what I have!" Kennedy yelled and stormed off towards the changing rooms.

Regulus was really confused. "I don't get it, how did Potter score twice in the time it took me to catch the Snitch?! That's impossible!" he asked Avery.

"Apparently not for him," Avery said. "He scored once, then somehow the Quaffle was passed to him in a split-second and he just scored again. It all happened so fast that it's kind of a blur... it's not your fault, Kennedy's just frustrated. No need to take him seriously."

Regulus blinked at him, trying to understand. "Right…" he then muttered, as Mingus Prickle and Rabastan Lestrange joined them.

"We'll see you back in the Common room, yeah?" said Avery, and Regulus nodded and walked vexedly over to the changing rooms. _How the hell did Potter do that? Aargh, I wish I'd paid more attention to what Bellchant was saying!  
_ When he entered the changing room, a few of his teammates glared at him, the others looked at him with pity. He waited in the toilets until they were all gone, then slammed his locker shut, forgetting to change out of his Quidditch robes, and walked out frustratedly without paying attention to where he was going. Suddenly he felt a magical blindfold cover his eyes. He panicked and tried to remove it, but it wouldn't budge. He heard laughter around him, but something was different. The voices sounded distorted...

"Hey, Black," he heard someone whisper in his ear. He felt around him with his arms stretched out, but the person had swiftly moved away. "Nice going with the match," they said and punched him hard in his stomach.

He grunted and bent over in pain, clutching his stomach. Two pairs of hands straightened him, and they punched him again, then again, then again. He fell to the ground, whimpering in pain as people jeered around him. "Stop," he begged them.

"Why do I feel like you lost on purpose, Black?" the voice whispered again.

"I didn't lose on purpose-" he tried to tell them.

" _Realllly_?" the voice drawled.

"Really! I swear, I-"

"Didn't you hear Bellchant say that Potter had scored?"

"I didn't! I swear! The wind was blowing and-"

"You know, somehow I get this uneasy feeling in my gut... wanna know what it is, Black?" a second lilting voice asked.

Regulus really didn't want to ask 'what', but his stomach really hurt. "What?" he asked. His voice sounded so pitiful and the people around him laughed. He pulled at the blindfold again, but to no avail.

"I think that you let Potter win, to make your blood traitor brother happy," the lilting voice spoke again.

"No! I didn't!"

"Are you still loyal to your brother, Black?"

"I'm loyal to Slytherin- ow!" they kicked him in the stomach.

"ARE YOU?!"

"Please! I'm telling the truth, I didn't hear the commentator, I thought we'd win!"

"How loyal are you, Regulus Black? How loyal are you to Slytherin and its principles? Are you willing to prove it?" the first voice asked.

"I'm loyal! I am," Regulus shouted.

"Are you willing to prove it?" the second voice asked, and Regulus felt a shiver run down his spine. But then suddenly, he heard one of them yell something, and the people around him all ran away. He tried to sit up, but his stomach hurt too much.

A few minutes later, he heard heavy footfalls approaching. "Mr. Black?!" It was Slughorn.

"Sir," he wheezed.

"Mr. Black, what- Oh, Merlin! Are you alright?!" he asked, trying to pull him up.

"Ow, sir I-"

"There, there, I will conjure a stretcher."

"Sir, if you could please remove this blindfold…"

"Oh yes, my boy! There," he said, and Regulus blinked, clearing his eyes. "What happened?" the professor asked him.

It was a question he had to ask himself. _Who were they? Why did they not want to be seen?_ The way they'd emphasised the loyalty bit, he had a feeling it wasn't over yet. He could feel it in his bones.

"Regulus? Oh, the boy's nearly unconscious," Slughorn muttered to himself, and magicked his beloved student onto a stretcher. "We're going to the Hospital wing," he said, and Regulus just lay back on the stretcher wordlessly and closed his eyes. He was tired. So tired of constantly being on alert and needing to defend and prove himself. And now, at least for a small amount of time, he would let the adults take care of him.

The din in the Gryffindor Common room was almost deafening, and Dorcas was halfheartedly attempting to control the revelers. "Store-owners over by Hogsmeade will start complaining about the noise soon!" she yelled at the students around her, and slowly they calmed down a bearable level.

"Dorcas, do you need some help?" asked Lily, but Dorcas didn't seem to hear her.

"Towler, what are you doing with that cactus? Is that Peyote?! Hand it over," she said, snatching the small spineless cactus from the boy. "Towler, you were already on thin ice when Jordan caught you with those Ganja leaves, last year. I'm sending you to McGonagall."  
She pointed to the Portrait hole, and a desolate Towler walked slowly towards it. He looked like he was trying to see how slowly he could possibly walk. "Get a move on!" she yelled, and he jumped and quickened his step.

" _Dorcas?_ " Lily asked again.

"Actually, Flitwick needs help with some firstie test papers, if you're willing?" said Dorcas, turning to face her.

"Yeah, sure. Right now?" she asked.

" _Yes, now,_ " she said, a little scathingly, and turned around and walked swiftly out of the Portrait Hole, and Lily hurried after her.

Just before they turned the corner into the Charms corridor, they saw Slughorn guiding a stretcher in front of him. Dorcas's heart skipped a beat as she recognised the hair and the Quidditch robes, and she ran towards them. Regulus was holding his stomach gingerly. "Professor! What- what happened?!" she asked worriedly. Lily followed her quickly.

"Ah, Miss Meadowes, Ms. Evans, I found Mr. Black injured outside our changing rooms... I think someone beat him up," Slughorn told them as they walked quickly to the Hospital wing. "On account of the unfortunate outcome of the match, I presume."

"Beat him up? As in Muggle dueling?!" she asked.

Lily saw Regulus open one eye and look at them. "They were mad because I caught the Snitch too early," he said, closing his eyes again.

"Who are 'they'?" Slughorn asked.

"They blindfolded me, remember?" Regulus said.

"What did they do to you?" Dorcas asked, trying to push his jersey up to check his abdomen.

"I'm fine, Ms. Meadowes," he replied with a finality in his tone, and covered up his stomach again. Dorcas stopped abruptly, remembering herself.

Lily bumped into her. And as they watched the professor lead Regulus down the Infirmary corridor, she wondered what was going on. "Dorcas?" she said tentatively.

"Yes, let's go," Dorcas said, and turned around and walked back towards the Charms corridor.

"Ladies, good of you to come and help me," said Professor Flitwick, as he opened the door.

"Not a problem, professor," said Dorcas.

"I've actually finished marking the test papers, dear," he told them.

"Oh."

"But I do have something else you might be able to help with," he said.

"Sure, professor," they both said, and he clapped his hands together in delight and ushered them through his office into his personal chambers. As they stepped through the threshold of the living room, suddenly they were hit with the scent of potpourri. On a large table were a couple of half-finished cornucopias, with fruits and vegetables and flowers scattered around.

"I was wondering if you'd help me pack these cornucopias. They're an autumnal gift for all the teachers," he said. The two girls looked at each other. Lily would've rather spent her time partying, but they'd agreed to help him, so they graciously set to work.  
Almost three hours had passed since they'd arrived, and it was nearly nightfall by the time they finished. Lily was itching to get back to the celebrations. _I just want to congratulate James! Ugh, and maybe have a butterbeer or two.  
_

"Professor, isn't there a charm for arranging them? Why did we do it by hand?" she asked, as they were leaving.

"Oh yes, my dear. There is a charm, but the only problem with the standard charm is, I can never get the oranges to be visible," Flitwick told her, smiling, and Lily saw Dorcas roll her eyes and walked towards the door.

"Dorcas, have I done something wrong?!" asked Lily finally.

The Head girl stopped in her tracks and turned around slowly. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

"You. You've been ignoring me completely. And if we talk, you're just so cold… what have I done? Please, just tell me!" said Lily.

Professor Flitwick tried to melt into the background.

Dorcas stared at her for a few moments, and then sighed and looked down at her shoes. "I didn't realise I was doing it," she muttered, and then she looked up to face Lily again. "Actually, I think I did. I'm sorry, its childish."

"You've been ignoring me for almost a month. What have I done?" asked Lily again.

"Walk with me, I need to see the Headmaster for an update," she told her and started towards the exit again. Lily hurried to keep up with her.

Flitwick heaved a sigh and got back to charming some flowers.

"Lily…" she began, and then she didn't know what to say.

"What? Say it, it's okay I can take it. I'm a big girl," said Lily.

"Okay. The Marauders, as you know, have worked hard as part of this crew. I've been in their company a lot over the past year, and I must confess that they've become quite dear to me," she said.

"Yeah? Go on!" Lily prompted. _Oh my God, tell me more._

"I've seen their personal ups and downs this past year, and... and anyone who thinks the Marauders are arrogant show-offs can go to hell, alright!" she said vehemently. "I mean, if you knew what they do for each other!"

Lily felt discomposed. "Tell me, Dorcas," she asked.

"I-"

"Please!"

The two girls stood facing each other in front of Dumbledore's gargoyle. "You're best friends with Remus, I assume you know of his troubles?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you also know that James, Sirius and Peter have risked their _lives_ to help him?"

Lily was nonplussed. She glanced at the stone gargoyle and it shrugged nonchalantly at her. "What do you mean?" _How could anyone help his Lycanthropy?_

"You know what 'risking lives' means, I assume. That 'they could have died'..."

"I know about the whole James-Severus thing, but you're not talking about that, are you?"

"No. Remus included the others as well when he talked about it... I don't know the details. Later, I was talking to James and I said to him what a loyal friend he was. I'll never forget what he said to me." Dorcas said.

"What did he say?" Lily asked quickly.

"He told me that loyalty came easily to him. Like it wasn't something he had to strive for."

"I know he's loyal-"

"My point is not his loyalty. It's the way he said it. What did you think of that statement?"

"Sounds a little full of himself as usual."

"Lily. Think like a parent or a teacher. That was just an observation he made about himself, I could see that. But taken out of context or heard by someone who doesn't understand his true nature, that simple observation may appear like arrogance. Don't you see that? It's just pure honesty. His heart is so unsullied. Not cunningly lying or sugarcoating things to appear clever. He's... he's just something else, Lily, you just _don't_ get it. It would be a privilege for any girl to date James Potter!"

Lily blinked.

"I came across him right after your argument last month, he looked pretty down. I- I guess I was mad at you for that," Dorcas finished guiltily.

"I know he was... I apologised for that," Lily replied sadly.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I'm literally the last person in this school who should be lecturing someone about falling in love with Mr. Right… I know love doesn't work that way," Dorcas said, smiling humourlessly.

"Oh come on, just because you're single, doesn't mean you can't give me dating advice. But I don't understand, why are you telling me all this?" Lily said sadly.

Dorcas' eyebrows furrowed. "You're really a stubborn girl, aren't you?" she said.

"No, what I mean is-" Lily began to say, but at that moment, the gargoyle jumped aside and Dumbledore appeared at the base of the stairs.

"Ah, Ms. Meadowes, there you are. Ms. Evans, you look confused, is anything the matter, if you don't mind my asking?" he asked joyfully.

"We were just talking about James Potter, sir," said Dorcas immediately.

"Ah, an exceptionally brilliant young man," replied Dumbledore, smiling at the girls. Lily gaped at him. _Did Professor Dumbledore just wink at me?_

"Sir, I was wondering if you would tell me if you've had an update from Ms. Grimblehawk at all?" Dorcas asked, and the Headmaster beckoned them up the stairs.

As the stairs moved upwards, Lily's brain was in overdrive. When they reached his office, the Headmaster and Dorcas proceeded to discuss security measures for the castle.

"... was talking about placing security trolls at the gates, which doesn't sound too bad, what do you think..." Dumbledore was saying, but Lily's brain kept going over what Dorcas had just told her. ... _risked their lives to help Remus…_ She shook her head and tried to concentrate on the discussion going on in front of her. After all, if there was a chance, she would be made Head girl next year, she needed to observe and learn as much as she could from Dorcas.

After they were finished with the discussion, the girls took his leave and descended the stairs, and walked in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. "Trolls at the gates of a school! This is what it has come to!" Lily exclaimed.

"Just be glad they aren't Sphinxes," Dorcas replied. "Did you know Sirius met a Sphinx when they were in Egypt?"

"Yeah, pretty amazing. Imagine dementors," Lily said, and the girls looked at each other darkly.

"I hope that never happens," said Dorcas, shuddering involuntarily. As they passed the Charms corridor, she dawdled.

"What's wrong?" asked Lily, turning around.

"Um, I just want to check on the student who was injured, do you mind accompanying me to the Hospital wing?" Dorcas asked.

"Yeah, of course," Lily said, and they turned the corner to the Hospital wing. "That was Regulus Black, wasn't he? Sirius' brother?"

Dorcas glanced at Lily. "Yeah."

"Do you think he was very badly injured?"

"Er, I'm not sure. I hope not," said Dorcas.

"Marlene and Sirius worry about him a lot," said Lily.

Dorcas didn't say anything to that. They reached the Hospital wing, and before they entered, she pushed one of the doors open a sliver and peeked in. Lily looked in too, and they saw two Slytherins (Avery and Lestrange) sitting at Regulus' bedside. Dorcas thought she would wait for the Slytherins to leave, but they heard footsteps and turned to see a bunch of Slytherins walking up the corridor. Dorcas quickly pushed the doors open and the two girls hurried in. Dorcas walked directly into the Matron's office and shut the door and peered at Regulus through the glass panel on the Matron's office door.

"Dorcas dear, what can I do for you?" asked Madam Pomfrey, but she didn't respond.

Lily smiled awkwardly at Madam Pomfrey and nudged Dorcas. "Why are we peeping through this glass?"

"What happened to him, Madam?" asked Dorcas, ignoring Lily's question.

"Are you talking about Regulus Black?" asked Madam Pomfrey, confused, even though there was no one else there.

Dorcas nodded, still staring at him through the panel. The Slytherin team had joined his bedside.

"Professor Slughorn brought him in, he had huge bruises across his abdomen. It looked like he'd been used as a punching bag," Madam Pomfrey explained.

Lily was horrified. " _Jesus!_ " she said.

"Oh," Dorcas said woefully, as a lump formed in her throat. Lily and the Matron exchanged glances.


	81. Monogrammed Handkerchief

Poppy Pomfrey immediately understood what was going on here. "I've applied a healing salve over the bruises, they'll be gone in a couple of days. Luckily, there were no broken bones, so I could give him three tablespoons of Pain potion as he requested," said Poppy, and Dorcas turned around to face the Matron.

"Wait, if he had broken bones, couldn't you have given him the Pain potion?" asked Lily.

"No. Unfortunately, if a person has broken bones, they're required to drink Skele-Gro to regrow their bones, but Pain potion makes Skele-Gro useless, so we can't administer it," explained Poppy, and Lily nodded.

"He requested the Pain potion?" asked Dorcas. She wondered how much pain someone had to have been in to request that, especially if that someone was a proud one like Regulus.

"Yes, so you can be sure he's not in any pain," Poppy told her kindly. "Pain potions numb the whole painful area. He'll be fine, I'm just keeping him here, so he'll get some rest."

 _Yeah, keep him safe here from other serpentine attackers!_ Lily peered out of the panel again. "He doesn't look like he's getting any rest at all, Madam Pomfrey," she said, looking back at the Matron.

"You're right. I'll shoo them away," the Matron said, and they stepped aside so she could go outside. "He needs his rest, students. Go back to your business, I'll discharge him soon," she told the Slytherins.

"Take care, mate," said Avery, and Regulus nodded. Then the two Slytherins reluctantly left.

Then Madam Pomfrey came back into the office. "You can go talk to him if you like," she told Dorcas.

"Thank you, Madam. Lily, come with me," Dorcas said, opening the door.

" _Me_? Are you sure?" asked Lily.

"Yes, just for the support… I mean, only if you want-"

But the double doors swung open again and a bunch of girls entered and hurried over to Regulus' bed. "Sweet Salazar, Black! What happened to you?" asked a girl.

Before he could answer, another girl interrupted. "Are you going to be alright?" she cooed.

"Yeah, thanks Angela. I'll be fine," he said, smiling awkwardly at all of them. Then they all started talking at once, telling him how they'd felt that Potter had cheated, that the Professor Tugwood should've announced a rematch, etc., etc. Regulus, though he was grateful for their support, really didn't want to hear all this right now. He rubbed his forehead. His head was spinning.

Madam Pomfrey watched for a few more minutes as the girls delivered their presents. Then she went over to him again and sent them away. They all complained and moaned, but finally left, the girl called Angela even blew a kiss at Regulus and he blushed a little. When they left, he reached for the bag of sweets the girls had brought for him. _Maybe I'll have a Liquorice Wand_. But when he looked at it, he didn't feel like eating anymore. He put it back and lay down.

Lily understood the fan-following. Regulus was a lot like Sirius, good-looking but in a subtler way. And he was quite charming, and his manners screamed of high-class sophistication. Plus, he was the star seeker of the Slytherin Quidditch team. Obviously, he'd have some girls flocking around him. "Come on," she said to Dorcas, as the doors finally closed again. The two girls walked slowly towards Regulus' bed. Dorcas waved her wand at the Hospital doors, locking them.

Regulus' eyes were closed. Dorcas approached him and touched his shoulder. He opened his eyes and smiled up at her. Then he frowned and blinked. _Wait, this isn't a dream!  
_ Then he suddenly sat up and Dorcas and Lily took a step back. "Ms. Meadowes! What-" he asked, panicking slightly.

"Don't worry, I've locked the doors," she assured him. He looked doubtfully at Lily. "She's fine, she's part of the crew."

"But Ms. Meadowes, you said you weren't going to tell _anyone_ -"

"It's alright, I- I trust her more than anyone else," Dorcas told him, and he relaxed a little.

Lily was touched at this. "Dorcas-"

"I'm not saying it just to make amends for ignoring you. I know I don't say these things out loud, but it's true, Lily," Dorcas said, touching her wrist and smiling. "Lily Evans meet Regulus Black. Regulus, Lily," she introduced them.

"I know. Marlene's friend," said Regulus, extending his hand politely. "How do you do?"

Lily was surprised that he remembered her, she shook his hand. "Hi."

Regulus looked up at Dorcas again. "Ms. Meadowes, I still don't understand what you are doing here," he said.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said.

"Really?" he said, smiling hopefully, and then the smile disappeared as soon as it had come, and he cleared his throat. "I'd already told you, I'm fine," he told her in a dignified manner.

"Right," she said awkwardly.

Regulus quickly pulled a wooden chair closer to his bed. "Please," he said, gesturing to her to take a seat. Dorcas sat down. Lily sat down in the second chair, still unsure of why her presence was required there.

"Regulus, who did this to you?" Dorcas asked him.

"Who are you asking as? Head girl or Head of the crew?"

"Crew, now tell me."

Regulus hesitated. Then he said, "They blindfolded me... voices were distorted."

"Tell me everything that happened."

Regulus told her everything, and at the end of his monologue, Dorcas realised that she'd put her hand on his. She quickly removed it and Regulus wished she hadn't.

"What do you think all this means? Surely, you have an idea…" Dorcas said nervously.

Regulus looked fearful for a moment, but then his features turned neutral again. Lily frowned. _It's like he was taught not to show any emotion… wait, he's a Black. He was probably actually taught not to show any emotion. Christ!_

Dorcas put her hand on his again.

"They were asking me how loyal I was to Slytherin…" Regulus began.

"And how far you're willing to go for your family's honour?" Dorcas continued.

Regulus nodded. "Essentially, whether or not I'd be a good death eater," he finished, and they stared at each other. Lily was shocked. No one spoke for several minutes.

"You don't have to do this," said Dorcas. _Please don't do this, Regulus. Please._

"You don't understand- they'll kill him!" he said to her.

"We'll protect him."

"You really don't understand, Ms. Meadowes. I'm not worried about Voldemort. I'm worried about my family."

"What do you mean?" she asked worriedly.

"The Noble and most Ancient house of Black? They need an heir, Ms. Meadowes. The situation was only salvageable after they'd lost the heir, because they've got a spare. But they won't be happy if they lose the spare too," he said to her.

Dorcas shook her head in denial, her hand was clasping his tightly. "No! Who told you this? It was Bellatrix, wasn't it? Sirius is always saying how she's trying to brainwash you-"

"It wasn't Bella. It was Cissy."

"Narcissa?"

"Obviously she's tried to snake her way out of this whole thing, but she's been warned... and on top of that, she's going to get engaged to Lucius-"

"Oh, Merlin!" exclaimed Dorcas, holding her forehead.

Regulus nodded. "Cissy never lies."

Lily knew Narcissa Black only as a Slytherin Prefect who'd graduated along with Lucius Malfoy when Lily was in her third year. "There has to be another way…" she blurted out, even though she hardly knew anything about the matter.

Regulus shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something, they he closed it again. It seemed like he couldn't say whatever he wanted to say if front of Dorcas. But he had to say it, so he said it, looking at Lily. "If I don't do this, they'll blame Sirius for it... Bellatrix will convince everyone that he must've done something to influence me. And then, they'll go after him. They'll group together... It'll- it'll become a Black family vendetta. They'll systematically work together to find him, they'll smoke him out of all the holes, never tiring, never stopping…"

"Regulus, please think about what you're saying. This is Voldemort, we're talking about!" said Dorcas.

"No, this is my brother we're talking about. He's my _brother._ "

Lily swallowed, she was aghast. But after everything Marlene had told her about the Black family, she could see why Regulus had to do this. But Dorcas' eyes filled with tears.

"Ms. Meadowes!" said Regulus, concerned. He searched his pockets and took out a handkerchief and handed it to her. She accepted it and wiped her nose daintily.

Lily saw that the handkerchief had a small monogram, _R.A.B,_ embroidered on the corner. She looked at the two of them and felt like she was watching a black-and-white motion picture from the 20's.

"Ms. Meadowes," said Regulus in a small voice. "If you grow weak now, how can I remain strong?" Dorcas looked up at him in surprise. "Did I say too much? I apologise-" he added quickly.

"No. No, you didn't," Dorcas said. Lily wondered yet again, why she was sitting there, intruding upon their conversation, which was clearly personal.

"I have to go, there's a party in Gryffindor Tower-" Dorcas said suddenly, glancing at her watch.

Regulus looked like he didn't want her to leave, but he nodded politely. "Wonderful. Why don't you two have a shot of firewhiskey in my name?" he said, grinning exactly like Sirius.

Dorcas looked stricken.

"Because I caught the Snitch too soon and let Gryffindor win!" he said quickly.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't _let_ Gryffindor win, alright? James scored and _made_ Gryffindor win," Lily told him, catching his drift to lighten the mood.

"Oh please, you're just saying that, because you're in love with Potter," Regulus countered, and Lily gasped. "I'm the best seeker this school has seen till date. If I hadn't ended the game too soon, we'd have won."

"Keep telling yourself that, Black. Don't think we didn't see how Kennedy was yelling at you after the match," Lily said, and Regulus pretended to be highly offended.

"For your information, Ms. Evans, Kennedy just apologised to me. He seemed to think it was his own fault for leaving me alone in the changing rooms," said Regulus. But that was the wrong thing to say, Dorcas didn't think that was funny at all. She suddenly got to her feet and started walking away. Lily quickly stood up and followed her.

"Ms. Meadowes?!"

"Billywig painting, Tuesday. Don't forget," Dorcas called to him without turning around. Then she undid the locking charm on the double doors and practically ran out.

Lily looked back at Regulus before she walked through the doors. He was looking at her worriedly. "Ms. Evans, please do not tell my brother-"

"Of course not, I quite like a living, breathing Sirius myself," she said, and shut the door and ran after Dorcas. Dorcas kept walking swiftly till she reached an empty classroom and walked into it. Lily entered it to find her sitting at a desk, sobbing.

"Oh, Dorcas," said Lily, and ran over to her. She sat down beside her and hugged her. Dorcas wept on her shoulder.

"Lily, I'm so so scared!" she said, between sobs. "I don't want him to become a death eater!"

"I know," said Lily, patting her back.

"He wouldn't be if it wasn't for that family! I should- I should tell Dumbledore, right? Maybe he'll talk some sense into him?"

"I'm pretty sure he already knows. Weren't you the one who saw that list? That list of potential death eaters that Dumbledore had?"

"So?"

"So, Regulus will probably already be on the list."

"Oh Merlin, Regulus on a list of death eaters!" said Dorcas sadly. She looked so discouraged. Even her eyebrow hairs looked droopy.

"Hey..." said Lily, rubbing her back. "Listen, if you think it's important to tell Dumbledore about this specifically, you should. But…"

"What?"

"Regulus looks like he's made up his mind about it."

"He has," said Dorcas miserably. They sat silently for several minutes.

Then Lily spoke. "And I wonder what Dumbledore will say about your relationship. Because you know what they say in all the spy novels, that love clouds judgment."

"Relationship? What relationship?!" asked Dorcas.

"Dorcas, it's so obvious that you and Regulus like each other-"

"Don't even say that! Don't even mention it, I don't want to think about that!"

"But why not?" Lily asked.

"What do you mean, why not? He's going to become a death eater! And I'm going to join the Order when I graduate… where are we going to go on dates? Malfoy Manor?"

Lily chuckled and even Dorcas gave a watery smile and wiped her nose with Regulus' hanky.

"I get what you're saying. But you have this year to be together," said Lily.

"But that'll just make it harder when we go our separate ways! Even though we might meet again, it won't be like this, right?" said Dorcas.

"It will never be like this for anyone, Dorcas. Even if there was no war. We'll all be going out on our own adventure soon, when we graduate. At least you two will have these memories to look back to... until you can be together again."

"I don't even know if he likes me-"

"You've got to be kidding me, Dorcas! 'Ms. Meadowes, please take a seat, Ms. Meadowes this, Ms. Meadowes that," Lily imitated Regulus and Dorcas laughed. "I felt like I was reading a novel from the 1800's!"

"Oh come on!"

"I'm serious," said Lily, chuckling. "Plus, you are his strength, Dorcas. All he needs is your support. He loves you, he's just being a Black," Lily said, grimacing.

Dorcas chuckled. "Oh Godric, I know what you mean. Everything we all went through to get Sirius to tell Remus," she said and laughed again.

Lily smiled and put her hand on her shoulder. "You should tell him how you feel," she said.

"Okay," said Dorcas, nodding and grinning. "But on one condition."

"Oh no, don't tell me I'll have to snog James or something!"

"Just consider him. Only consider. Think about it?" said Dorcas.

But Lily shook her head. "No, Dorcas. He likes Salima Shafiq now," she said.

"What? _Salima_?" asked Dorcas, completely thrown. "Slytherin Salima?"

"Oh, which other Salimas do we know, Dorcas?" said Lily edgily.

"But how, though?!"

"They hung out in Egypt... and they have chemistry, I've seen them together," said Lily shortly.

Dorcas tilted her head thoughtfully. "Wait, you like him, don't you?" she said.

"No! That's not what I said," said Lily quickly.

"Oh my God, Regulus was right. You _are_ in love with him!" said Dorcas.

"I'm not! I just think of him as a good friend!" said Lily.

"Good friend, my arse! But what I can't figure out, is how Regulus knew it before I did! He's so perceptive!" said Dorcas, grinning.

"I'm really not, Dorcas!" maintained Lily.

Dorcas grinned again. "Fine. How about we go get those shots Regulus talked about?" she said. "I definitely need a drink or two after tonight's events. Or maybe ten."

"We're getting drunk tonight Ms. Meadowes, come on!" said Lily and the two girls ran back to Gryffindor Tower.

They stepped through the Portrait hole and the noise was, if possible, louder. "Dorcas, where were you?!" Jones had accosted them.

"Well, first we were with Flitwick. Then Dumbledore. Then Pomfrey. And now, firewhiskey," Dorcas told him, and he gaped at her.

"Who are you and what have you done with Dorcas Meadowes?" he asked.

The girls chuckled. "You're in charge, Jones. Do me proud," Dorcas told him. "Now, where is Mason? Doesn't he have a crate in his room?"

"A crate of firewhiskey?! Are you joking?!" asked Lily, astonished.

"Er, how do you even know that? The lads were keeping it a secret…" mumbled Jones, very baffled.

Dorcas winked at him. "I also know about Gomez' tequila stash, don't get me started, Jones! Just point me in Mason's direction!"

Jones pointed resignedly to the stairs, Mike Mason and a couple of his roommates were descending the stairs, all hiding something under their robes, thinking they were being discreet.

Dorcas grinned. "Let's go."

Mason saw Dorcas and Lily walk towards them and they hurriedly hid the firewhiskey bottles behind their backs.

"What's that behind your back there, Towler?" asked Dorcas, trying very hard not to grin.

Towler made a pouty face. "Ugh, come _on_ , Meadowes. You're always on my case! It's a party, why don't you try and have some fun, yeah?"

The girls grinned at each other. "We were trying to," said Dorcas. "You know Mason, I was told that you were the guy to go to if I was in need of firewhiskey, but Towler here thinks I'm a wet blanket-"

"You heard right!" said Mason jubilantly. "Here," he handed over the bottle he was hiding.

"Mason, you dolt! It's a trap!" Towler whispered.

"Thanks very much," Lily said, taking the bottle from Mason.

"Ugh, Towler, it's a party. Why don't you try and have some fun, yeah?" Dorcas repeated his own dialogue to him and everyone laughed, while he stood there, dumbstruck.

Lily looked around on the table and transfigured a couple of empty butterbeer bottles into shot glasses.

"Nice!" said Dorcas and poured two shots. She held hers up and said, "No regrets."

Lily couldn't face Dorcas as she repeated the phrase. Somehow, she felt like she was going to have loads of regrets. She felt really burdened. "No regrets," she said anyway, and they clinked their glasses and downed the shots.

Upstairs in the Marauders' dorm, Sirius was refilling Remus' goblet with Berry Ocky Rot, a type of alcohol that James and Sirius had smuggled from home. From Monty's collection.

"Hey, I didn't agree to this!" drawled an already drunk Remus. His cheeks were flushed.

"Don't lie, Moony. Peter told me what you said," said James, grinning widely. "You said that if Gryffindor won, you'd happily drink anything we'd give you all night!"

"I agreed to get drunk, which I think I already am, I didn't agree to drink all night!" said Remus, sipping more of the Ocky Rot.

"You thought there was no chance we would win!" accused Sirius, drinking some of it.

"I was kidding…" Remus tried to explain, taking another sip. "I knew you'd win, James. You're James Potter!"

The other three laughed. "Sure, Moony," said Peter, drunkenly patting his shoulder.

"Just you wait, I'll tell Mrs. Potter you stole that bottle," said Remus.

"And I'll tell her you were the one to drink it all," said James.

"Hello little one," said Remus, picking Coco up. "Would you like some Ocky Rot to drink?"

"Are you mental, Moony?!" said James, snatching Coco away. "Don't give the cat alcohol!"

"He was joking, James," said Sirius, and he and Remus laughed.

Just then, they heard some people thundering down the stairs, and James went to see what the commotion was all about.

"What are you guys doing in here?!" shouted Frank. "Come down to the Common room, we're playing a modified version of Exploding Snap, it's ridiculous!"

"Oh my gosh, is it Double Snap?!" asked Peter and Frank nodded frantically.

"Come on!" he yelled and raced after the others.

"Go ahead, I'll catch up!" said Remus, clutching his tummy. "I might be sick if I run like that."

"Okay, come soon!" said James and the other Marauders ran down the stairs, leaving a grinning Remus behind.

He put his hands on his hips and sniggered at the doorway. "Idiots!" he muttered to himself, and jumped on his bed and pulled a book out from under his pillow.

"Ack! This is worse than rum!" said Lily, grimacing.

"I'm sorry, did you say _rum_?!" asked Ronan gleefully.

"Oh yes!" said Lily, moving to sit cross legged on their table. "My uncle went to Barbados and brought back some rum. My cousin Brad and I stole some and drank the night away!" She laughed at the memory.

"Wicked!" said Mason, pouring her another shot, which she downed quickly.

Then Robbie Ronan launched into a rundown of all the types of alcohol he'd had on a trip round Europe last year. Dorcas grinned and poured herself a shot as well and sat down beside Lily.

"Rum is nothing compared to Mezcal, my dear," said Iker, appearing out of nowhere with Marlene attached to his waist.

"The one with the worm in it?" asked Marlene, plonking into a chair beside the girls. "Stop it, Iker. it isn't that great, alright?"

"Isn't that great? Mezcal is only the best drink in the world, Marlene," Iker told her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Iker passionately supports Mezcal because his family's into the worm business, isn't that right, baby?" Marlene said to him and everyone guffawed. Dorcas rolled her eyes at Lily.

"First off, I'm Ecuadorian, not Mexican! And secondly, that's racist!" Iker said angrily and grabbed the girls' bottle and drank some firewhiskey.

Then Bette Spinnet and Ora Bronte walked over to their table. "Ah, here comes the Woman of the Match!" said Robbie, raising his goblet to her.

"Seriously, Spinnet, you were spectacular today!" said Towler.

"Thanks boys, then I hope you won't mind if I bring one of my friends over?" she said.

They all looked behind her, and Lily nearly spit our her firewhiskey. "Oh my God, Salima, what are you doing here?!" she asked.

"But she's a Slytherin!" shouted Towler.

"Go away, you snake!" said Eva Barclay, a seventh year Gryffindor, but she was grinning.

Salima laughed. "Fine, I'll slither away. I was just passing by, and Bronte grabbed me," Salima replied sheepishly. "I know I'm not allowed to be here, especially since I'm from the rival camp!"

Everyone chuckled. It seemed like the seventh years were less passionate about House loyalties, cos they spent so much time together in mixed classes.

"Nonsense Salima!" said Dorcas loudly. "You're staying! We're gonna play a drinking game now! You can join us, or just watch... Drink every time McKinnon says something rude or inappropriate!" and everyone cheered and held their goblets and bottles at the ready.

"Okay, I'll watch," said Salima, sitting down in Bronte's lap. Lily looked down at her shot glass. _Fantastic._

"If you want to get sloshed, I can be of assistance, my people," said Marlene, glaring at Dorcas menacingly.

"Bring it," said Dorcas, grabbing a goblet and pouring herself a large amount.

"Is it true you're a lesbian, that's why you haven't had a boyfriend all this time?" asked Marlene.

Everyone was stunned into silence, they looked between Dorcas and Marlene. No one had ever had the nerve to be rude to Dorcas before. But Lily couldn't stop herself from laughing at that, after what she'd found out just before. Then Dorcas lifted her goblet slowly to her lips and took a sip. The others exhaled in relief, and everyone hooted and cheered and took a sip from their own goblets. Some other older students drifted over to their table, attracted by the noise.

"Is it true you had an affair with Sirius Black?" said Dorcas loudly and everyone went nuts. Iker was enjoying himself now. He knew Marlene hated it when people linked her up with Sirius. He took a sip.

Marlene grinned. "Is it true you had an affair with Amos Diggory?" Everyone chuckled and took a sip again.

Ya Allah!" said Salima, slightly repulsed. "Please don't tell me that's true!"

Dorcas shook her head at her. "Of course I didn't," she told her, chuckling. "You're so innocent, Salima."

Lily glanced at the two of them. _Innocent?_  
She knew the excuse Salima had just given them was a lie. _Why would she be passing by here on her day off?_ _She's purposely come here to see James, probably to congratulate him. To take advantage of his drunkenness... Oh Merlin, Lily, stop it_! Lily shook her head and drank some more firewhiskey.

* * *

 **Author's note: It's canon that Regulus discovered Voldemort was creating horcruxes, _way_ before Dumbledore even considered it. So this is what I think lead to it.  
**


	82. Candiru

Dorcas turned to Marlene superciliously. "Is it true you declared that you wouldn't get back with Gomez unless he asked you to marry him?" asked Dorcas, and Marlene was stunned.

Iker chuckled along with everyone, thinking it was a joke, until he saw her expression. " _Eh? En serio?_ " he asked her, forgetting to speak English. Marlene glanced nervously at him. " _Diga la verdad_ , Marlene."

Dorcas sniggered. She was quite tipsy. "Yeah, what he said, Marlene."

"You're like a fucking Candiru, Meadowes," Marlene said spitefully. "But you win," she admitted and everyone cheered again. She glanced at Iker, who was storming away, feeling really insecure. "Iker, escúchame. _Por favor!_ " she called and ran after him.

"Savage," said Salima, and Dorcas winked at her.

"Was that really necessary, Meadowes?" asked Eva Barclay.

"Look, that girl says inappropriate things all the time," said Dorcas. "I once heard her say to a person of African origin, that her grandfather is really racist and doesn't give a fuck about anyone. And then she said she couldn't wait to become carefree and racist just like him!"

Everyone ooohed uncomfortably. Salima raised her eyebrows judgmentally, and Lily didn't like it one bit. _You don't know Marlene, Salima!_

"I know," said Dorcas. "And when I told her it was wrong to say such stuff, she told me she was just kidding. You all heard how she made that completely awkward joke about the worm business, right? For once, I just wanted to make her see, that what you think is funny may not be funny to the other person."

"True," said Eva, nodding.

"You know what a Candiru is, Dorcas?" Lily asked, changing the topic.

"Oh yeah, she said I was one, didn't she? What is it?" asked Dorcas.

"It's a parasitic little fish that lives in the Amazon, and can swim up people's urethras. Men's utrethras," said Lily, grinning. It was crazy that she knew so much about Ecuadorean geography. And History, ecology, and even natural history.

Everyone laughed. The boys made pained faces. "I guess I deserved that after what I did," said Dorcas guiltily.

Lily didn't like gossiping anyway, she wanted to change the subject. " _Tiny bubble…_ " she sang, looking at the firewhiskey bottle. " _In the whiskey…_ "

"Isn't it supposed to be 'In the wine'?" asked Spinnet.

Lily grinned wolfishly at her and continued to sing. " _Makes me happy… makes me feel frisky…"_ Everyone laughed. Mason and Towler exchanged looks.

Suddenly, there was a loud cheering from the group that was playing Double Snap, and they all looked over at what was happening. "Take it off, take it off!" they were all chanting.

"I'm happy to oblige," said Sirius, getting to his feet. Then he took his jumper off. "The mirror does tell me that I'm the fairest of them all," he added, and then he took his t-shirt off. Everyone in his group cheered again. Ora and Eva shared grins, so did Lily and Dorcas. Lily laughed to herself. _He's really_ too _good-looking._

"Oh, did I tell you all about the time I went to Northern Territory, Australia?" Mason asked everyone loudly, to try and bring the girls' attention back on himself. They did turn to look at him. "Wizards there are utterly amazing! Met this bartender there, his name was Kyle, I think. He told me his speciality was adding a potion he'd created using the venom of the Inland Taipan, to his drinks!" said Ronan, and everyone at the table exclaimed.

"No way!" said Dorcas.

"Isn't the venom from one bite of that snake, enough to kill a hundred fully grown men?" asked Ora.

"It is, but the drink was pretty good, it gives you a sort of a high," said Mason.

"And it was probably illegal too, then," said Dorcas, and everyone laughed.

Lily turned to look at the other group again. James was pulling the jumper back over Sirius' head. "That's enough, you've completed the task," he told him, bringing his hands through the sleeves. "Don't want him to get targeted by the evil-eye, do we?" he said jokingly to the others.

Salima was also looking over at them, and she chuckled at James' joke. Lily glanced at her. _She really likes him.  
_ 'Bachelor Boy' by Cliff Richard was playing on the magical radio. _How ironic!_ The lyrics seemed to be speaking to her- _when I was sixteen, I fell in love with a girl as sweet as can be... I'll be a bachelor boy and that's the way I'll stay..._  
And when Lily looked around at the two boys again, Sirius was telling all of them that he'd be right back, and was heading upstairs. She watched as he ran up the stairs, glanced back at the group, and then disappeared behind the boys' door. Lily looked back at James. _He really does take care of Sirius like a brother.  
_ Then her sluggish brain remembered everything that Regulus had told her. What James had done for Sirius was nothing compared to what Regulus had done for him. It was insane. If Regulus became a death eater, it would satisfy everyone around him, of course. But what about all those horrible things he might be made to do? Would he do them? Or would he back out? She was sure there was no backing out from something like that, it was a lifetime thing, or death. Especially if dear old Bellatrix was keeping an eye on you. This war. It didn't make sense to her. Why would anyone hate someone just because they came from different people? Why the hatred? Muggleborns were people too, right? And they had magic in them from birth, it was not as if they had stolen the magic from someone. Still, this group of wizards wanted to scare them, put them in their place... It was really insanity. These people disapproved of muggleborns so much, that they were willing kill them too, based on the recent reports in the Prophet. But they weren't killing all of them, they were just killing a few of them as an example to other muggleborns. To scare them. To keep them hidden, or make them flee. And that was as dangerous as the murdering. Because these wizards weren't a threat to their _lives_ , they were a threat to their _way of life_. They were essentially terrorists. She remembered what Peony Parkinson had told her, 'Oh, they'd love to get their hands on you in some lonely corridor, and squash all that pride out of you.'  
Lily looked down at the bottle of firewhiskey, and she raised to her lips again and took a few sips. The liquid burned her throat as it went down, but it was somehow satisfying. It felt good. _  
_Lily looked at Dorcas, who was laughing at everything Mason was saying. _She's trying to forget. Poor thing._  
But Lily couldn't forget. She internally chuckled to herself. She _couldn't believe_ that just a few minutes ago, she had been worried about something as trivial as who was dating whom. _Ask him out, for all I care. Date each other! Go to Hogsmeade. Go to the Christmas ball, if you want._

Sirius walked back up to the dorm, still nice and mellow from the Ocky Rot they had drank some time ago, plus a few additional butterbeers he'd drank in the Common room. The door was open, and he silently peered in. _I knew it!  
_ Remus was lying on his stomach, reading a book. He was giggling to himself as he turned the page eagerly. Sirius smiled to himself. H _e's so perfect.  
_ Sirius' eyes lingered for a moment on the sliver of skin that was visible from under his jumper, and then landed on his bum. _He really does have the best arse at Hogwarts.  
_ Remus was so drunk still, that he didn't sense Sirius at all when he walked up behind him silently, and bent down to read the page. This wasn't a normal book. His jaw dropped as he read the lines on top of the page- _We bucked into each other, both panting, grasping at each other's sweaty bodies. I tightened all my muscles around him and could feel the familiar wave of heat starting in my stomach…  
_ " _Remus_!" he shouted, scandalised, and Remus nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Pads, you gave me such a fright!" he yelled, looking back at him, clutching his chest.

Sirius folded his arms and wore a cross expression. "You said you were sick."

Remus smiled guiltily and moved to sit up, but Sirius climbed onto him and straddled his legs. "Don't move," he said sternly and pushed him down again, making him chuckle.

"Sorry, I really didn't feel like playing Double Snap," Remus told him.

"You could've just said... anyway, it's funny you didn't sense me," said Sirius.

Remus laughed. "I'm as drunk as a Hinkypunk!" he said, twisting his neck to look at Sirius.

"Is that why you're reading pornographic material?" asked Sirius, smirking.

"This is not- it's just a novel I borrowed off the girls!" Remus said, blushing. He tried to hide the novel under him, but Sirius had already seen the picture on the cover, it was of a girl and a guy clad in nothing but a maroon blanket.

"Oh, really?" Sirius said sarcastically and put his arm under Remus. "Is that why your pants feel like you've stuffed a butterbeer bottle down-"

"Oh, fuck off!" said Remus, halfheartedly trying to wriggle free.

"Where's Coco?" asked Sirius.

"Asleep on James' pillow," said Remus, pointing.

"Perfect. Now... since you're in the mood, Remus, I want to try something, but only if you're game," Sirius bent down and whispered in Remus' ear.

"Oh no, what?"

"Relax," Sirius said. He took out his wand and waved it, locking the door shut. Then he started unbuttoning Remus' trousers. "Have you ever heard of the word, Anilingus?"

"What! No!" said Remus immediately, trying to flip over.

"You haven't?" asked Sirius, grinning and holding him in place.

"Of course I've heard of the word, Sirius, I have a boyfriend," said Remus. "But no."

"Why not? Do you feel uncomfortable?" asked Sirius.

"No, but..."

"If you don't like it, I'll stop. Is that okay?" said Sirius.

"Fine," said Remus, and Sirius pulled his pants and boxers off completely. Remus blushed bright red and grabbed his wand and extinguished all the candles in the room.

"Moony! Why'd you do that?"

"I feel so exposed!"

Please, Moony? Please, will you light them again? I want to see…" begged Sirius.

Sober Remus would never have relented, but since he was drunk, he lit them back on.

"Holy Hippogriffs, you're so beautiful, Moony," said Sirius, kissing his bum. Remus blushed and blushed.

"You've seen me naked dozens of times after transformations," said Remus.

"Never up close," he said, biting him lightly.

Remus gasped. "Oh my God, what are you doing!" he asked.

"Taking in everything. Moony, your arse is a work of art, I swear," said Sirius, and Remus buried his face into the pillow out of embarrassment. It felt so dirty, but at the same time, extremely pleasurable. He could feel his erection, pressing into the mattress, burning for release.

"This is terrible," said Remus.

"Why?"

"You can't be doing this sort of thing in front of Coco, it'll traumatise her," said Remus.

"She's fast asleep," said Sirius.

Downstairs, Mason looked curiously at Dorcas. "It wasn't really true, right?" he asked her.

"What wasn't true?" Dorcas asked him.

"Gomez and McKinnon, thinking about marriage at this age. That would be crazy, right?" he said.

"Nah, it's not true," lied Dorcas. Lily smiled at her.

"And you're not a lesbian, are you?" asked Towler.

"Ah, that's what you boys are after, aren't you? Your debased needs fulfilled?" Dorcas asked him. "Come on, Lily, let's find another table." The boys booed and shoved Towler.

"Ignore him, Meadowes," said Mason, holding Dorcas' hand.

"Yeah, do stay, Meadowes," someone said mockingly. "Have fun. It's all good." The two girls turned around, a harassed-looking Jones was looking down at them.

"Jonesy!" said Dorcas, hugging him tightly. "Why do you always look like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown?"

"Look Dorcas, I don't think I should be in charge. I've just spent the past half hour catching firsties who were sliding down the banisters! They won't stop!" he said, with a tortured expression.

"What are you talking about? It's past nine! They should be in bed already," she drawled.

"What?! You didn't tell me that-"

"Ugh, why do I have to do _everything_ by myself?" asked Dorcas and tried to stand. "Help me up, Jones!" She stood on the table and put her wand to her throat and muttered, " _Sonorus_ ," and her voice was magically magnified. "Listen up, students. Everyone under fifth year must promptly go to bed now," she said, and there were groans and whines heard everywhere in the Common room. "Anyone who doesn't comply will spend the next two weeks in detention…" she looked down at Lily questioningly.

"Mucking out Kettleburn's stables," whispered Lily, laughing.

"Mucking out the stables for Kettleburn," Dorcas added loudly and there was a rush to get to the dormitories. " _Quietus_." She sat down, giggling to herself.

Upstairs, they heard Dorcas' announcement and Sirius frowned. "Typical Dorcas," he complained. "Ruining the mood."

Remus turned to lie on his back. He put his foot on Sirius's chest and pushed him back slightly, grinning. They heard the hordes of boys climbing the stairs. "You locked the door, right?" he asked.

"I did, but I can't guarantee no one will be coming upstairs via other passages," he said, grinning.

"I don't think Wormtail will _ever_ try that again," said Remus, and they both laughed. "Poor kid, he must have been traumatised."

Sirius took his foot and kissed it, and Remus inhaled sharply, it was so erotic. Then he blinked and pulled his foot away.

"What?" asked Sirius.

"That's my foot!" he said, raising himself to a seated position.

"So, what? You have no reason to feel insecure," said Sirius.

"I'll feel much better about this whole thing after a shower," said Remus, grinning and taking off his shirt, and sitting there in all his naked glory.

"What? Noo..." said Sirius.

"You're welcome to join," said Remus, and Sirius grinned. "Take off your clothes."

Sirius swallowed. _Right. A shower means being completely naked._ He hesitantly got to his feet and took his jumper off. All of a sudden, the candles did seem too bright.

"What happened to you t-shirt?!" asked Remus, laughing.

"It's downstairs, we were- we were um-"

"What's wrong?" asked Remus, thinking he'd done something.

"Nothing," said Sirius, putting his arms around Remus' waist and pulling him closer to kiss him. Remus ran his hands along Sirius' shoulders and down his arms as he kissed him back. Then he slowly reached down and started to unzip his pants, but Sirius caught his hand.

Remus looked at him curiously and Sirius glanced away, thinking about what to say. Remus held his face firmly and turned it to face him again. "Pads, I know about the scars."

Sirius looked mortified. "How?"

"It was at James'... you were unconscious, and the healer had to check for injuries…"

Sirius removed Remus' hands from his face and turned around, away from him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, you still recovering, and we didn't think it was a good idea."

"We? James saw them too?"

"And the Potters too, I'm sorry," said Remus. "You've nothing to be ashamed of."

Sirius just stared desolately ahead. He hated this. He hated making other people feel bad for him.

"Why are you so afraid of a few scars? My whole body is covered in them," said Remus.

"But they haven't been inflicted by your mother! Someone who is supposed to protect you!" said Sirius vehemently, and Remus looked at him with a pained expression.

"You're right," he said.

"I didn't want this. I don't need your pity," Sirius said, turning away.

"You think this is pity?" Remus asked softly, hugging him from behind.

"What else is there?"

"Empathy," Remus told him.

"What's the difference?" Sirius asked, his hand closing on Remus'.

"Tell me, did you pity me when I got that thorn stuck in my foot?" Remus asked him.

"No," he said, finally understanding. He turned around and smiled at him.

"Can I take off you pants now?" Remus asked him.

"You are so horny," said Sirius, laughing.

"It's your own fault, you know what you did," said Remus.

Downstairs in the Common room, Dorcas handed Jones the half-finished bottle. "Here, Jonesy. Drink your troubles away," she advised him.

"Thanks," he said, taking a sip.

"Damn, you two rock!" said Mason. "Where have you been all these years?"

"On the sidelines," said Lily, smiling.

"But tonight, the party scene was beckoning…" said Dorcas, taking another sip.

"No regrets, right?" said Mason, moving closer to her, and Dorcas grinned.

"That's right," she said, nodding. Then she turned to Lily. "Lily, I was thinking, why wait till Tuesday, right? Let's do it today!"

"What!" cried Mason.

"Your wish," said Lily, holding out her hand. Dorcas took it and they got off the table and walked away.

Mason and Towler stared after them with longing. "Did they just leave to fuck?" asked Towler.

"Oh, don't be so crass, Towler," said Spinnet.

"I do apologise, madam. Are they going to be carnally liaising?" asked Towler, and everyone chuckled.

"They _are_ lesbians," moaned Mason.

"Ouch. The betrayal of the erect dick," said Jones and everyone laughed.

"Whatever Jonesy!" said Mason grumpily.

"Mates," said Ronan, grinning.

"What?" asked Towler.

"Wait till Potter hears this!" he said, and everyone laughed. Jones frowned and Salima looked curious.

"Yikes, that's got to hurt," said Towler, and scanned the room for James.

"There he is, HEY POTTER!" he yelled, and James waved his hand and walked over, grinning, with Peter in tow.

"What's going on, lads?" he asked them, and looked around. "Salima? What are you doing here?"

Salima smiled at him. "Just chilling with my friends, I get bored underground."

James smiled at her.

"Watching Frank and Alice slow-dance is boring, that wasn't even a proper dare," said Peter to the others.

Towler and Mason grinned at each other. "Well, let us tell you something which will throw you for a loop. Promise you won't be bored anymore," said Ronan, grinning.

"Okay?" said James.

"You see... no matter how many goals you score…" said Towler.

"How many matches you win…" said Mason.

"Even if you become the Quaffle king…" said Ronan.

"A professional Quidditch player!" said Towler.

"Defeat He-who-must-not-be-named…" said Mason.

"Stop annoying him and get on with it!" said Peter, annoyed.

"Yeah yeah, Pettigrew, we already know you're in love with Potter," said Towler, and some people sniggered.

Peter turned pink. "Am not!"

"Yeah, we're friends. Best friends," James told the boys.

"I'm... I'm straight," said Peter clearly, as if to erase any doubts anyone had.

"Well that's nice, but guess what? Evans isn't!" Ronan said, and the other two chuckled.

"Isn't what?" asked James, confused.

"He's so clueless," Ronan said to Towler.

"Evans isn't straight, Potter," Mason said slowly, as if teaching a small child. "She's a lesbian. She won't go out with you."

James and Peter glanced at each other. "Yeah, right," James said to them.

"It's true, Potter. I hate to tell you this, but she and Meadowes just left to shag," said Bette Spinnet, grimacing.

James blinked.

"I'm sorry, did you just say, Meadowes? Nope. There's no chance that's true," said Peter immediately.

"How are you so sure?" asked Towler. "Merlin's pelicans, did you and Meadowes-"

"No!" said Peter. Then he turned to James. "I'm so done with these idiots, James. Don't believe them."

"What a sly thing that Evans is, yeah? said Adelaide Fulton, another seventh year. "If she'd only been straight with you, it wouldn't have come to this… Wait, she isn't straight, is she!" Everyone laughed. "Sorry, Potter, couldn't resist."

James glowered at her. He didn't know what to say. "Right," he said in the end. Then he looked at Jones for confirmation.

"Sorry, mate," said Jones awkwardly.

Others around the table fell into conversations of their own and James sat down heavily in the chair next to him. Peter did the same. "I don't get it, what happened?"

Jones told them the girls' weird behaviour that evening. "So, what? Did they have a sexual awakening or something, today?" James asked him.

He just shrugged. "I don't know, mate."

James leaned back on his chair desolately and Jones put the girls' firewhiskey bottle in front of him.

"Drink away your troubles, that was Dorcas' advice for me today. I'm giving you the same." he said and went up the stairs to bed.

James picked up the bottle, not really looking at it. _Don't really want to walk in on Sirius and Remus with another Evans-related crisis for the tenth time this year…_ He took a long chug from the bottle. Peter looked at him worriedly.

"Prongs!" he said and pulled the bottle down. "It's crupshit! Look, I don't know about Evans, but this is Dorcas we're talking about. She'd never do this to you."

"It makes sense, Wormy," said James, "I mean it could be the reason she never felt like going out with me, you know?"

"Are you seriously going to believe anything that comes out of Gareth Towler's mouth? The bloke's always high off his mind!"

"But Spinnet and Jones were saying it too!" James said, putting the bottle back on the table.

"Hmmm…" said Peter, scratching his head. "Okay, why don't we check the Marauder's Map?"

James opened his mouth, but Peter spoke quickly again. "I know what you're going to say, that it's wrong. But it might confirm our suspicions, right?"

"Yeah, it's wrong, but I was gonna say, we don't have the Map," said James.

"What do you mean? Who has the Map?" asked Peter.

James took another swig of the firewhiskey and looked at him with an oddly neutral expression. "Dorcas."

Peter's eyebrows went up. "That's… er... that's a _bit_ suspicious," he said.

"She always borrows it when she has rounds... these days…" James said, his eyes widening.

"Gimme that firewhiskey, James," he said, and took a long sip. "Why the bollocks is everybody gay?!"

Meanwhile, Dorcas and Lily were still on their way to the Hospital wing. "Oh God, Dorcas…! I've never been this drunk before, I can barely walk in a straight line!" said Lily.

Dorcas tittered. "I did once in fifth year. And made out with Fabian Prewett. Woke up the next day with the _worst_ headache ever, I thought I was going to die. Pomfrey wasn't impressed," she said.

"You think she's gonna be impressed now when we walk in like this?" asked Lily, and Dorcas sighed.

"Walk in where? We're outside the Great Hall."

"Bollocks! We came down here like a couple of _imperioed_ idiots!" said Lily. They laughed, then shushed each other.

"Let's go before someone catches us," said Dorcas. "It's dangerous here, we are not in a state to duel."

"Like any of the Slytherins!" said Lily, hurriedly climbing the stairs.

"This is _not_ model behaviour for current and future head girls!" said Dorcas.

"I'm gonna be head girl?! Really?!" asked Lily.

"Oh shit, you're not supposed to know that!" said Dorcas and giggled.

"Who is the head boy, then? Tell me, pleeeeease," Lily begged.

"Er… I don't know. Let's concentrate on getting to the imfinramy," she replied.

"Huh?"

"I mean infirmary."


	83. Bambi

When the girls reached the Hospital wing, Regulus wasn't there, only a bunch of third years who'd suffered horrible potion burns from some unauthorised brewing session. Their heads were completely bandaged like mummies, except for small holes for breathing, and they were all put under potion-induced sleep.

"Where is he?" asked Dorcas loudly. A second later, the Matron came striding out of her office, and as expected, she wasn't impressed with their state. "I really didn't expect this from the Head girl, Dorcas!" she scolded.

"We're sorry, Madam Pomfrey. We'll be going now," said Lily.

"Why did you come here? I thought you needed an antidote for tomorrow?" asked Poppy.

"Yes, that's why we're here," replied Dorcas, nodding endlessly.

Poppy shook her head and went back in to get the antidote. But she knew how hard Dorcas worked every day, and even Head girls needed to let their hair down sometimes.

"What do we do now?" asked Lily, gazing around the Hospital wing. "Looks like he's gone back to the dungeons."

"Don't worry, I have just the thing," said Dorcas and took out a folded piece of parchment.

"What is that?" asked Lily.

"It's the Marauder's Map," said Dorcas, waving the parchment about.

"A Map?" asked Lily.

"Map of Hogwarts. A real-time map of everyone in the school," said Dorcas.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll show you in a minute, there's Poppy with the potion!"

"I heard that, Dorcas," said Poppy. "I'm still Madam Pomfrey to you." She handed them the vial of antidote.

"Sorry, Madam. And thank you," said Dorcas.

"Be careful. Go back to your Tower," Poppy told them.

"Okay!" both girls said and left the Hospital wing, and went back to the same classroom they had sat in earlier and spread the Map on the floor.

Lily was beyond impressed. "This is amazing! This Charms work is just ...wow! And you're saying the Marauders created this Map?"

"They did for sure. I'll show you. Mischief managed," said Dorcas and everything immediately disappeared off the parchment. "Okay... now, watch this."

"I want to look inside," she told the Map, poking it. Writing appeared on the front.

"That's Remus' handwriting!" said Lily.  
 _Mr. Moony says, hello Dorcas you sly thing. If you have this with you, you obviously know what to say._ Lily laughed. Then a second hand.  
 _Mr. Prongs would like to ask Ms. Meadowes if she is honestly ever going to use this to get up to no good._ Another hand.  
 _Mr. Padfoot wonders if Ms. Meadowes' head is perhaps filled with Wrackspurts?_ And Finally,  
 _Mr. Wormtail would like to take this opportunity to remind Dorcas to brush her teeth after smoking all those ciggies._

Dorcas yelped. "How do they know I smoke! I'm always _so_ careful!"

Lily hugged the Map. "Oh, I love this Map! I just love it!"

Dorcas laughed. "Okay, you love it. But I know you only love it now cos you're still drunk. Now help me look for Regulus. Let's check the dungeons first... _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._ "

The Map appeared again, and they searched and searched. "Look, there's Severus... why is he sitting alone in a classroom?" Lily wondered aloud.

"We're looking for Regulus, concentrate please!" said Dorcas.

"You're right," said Lily, but she, very quickly grew tired of the searching. "He's not in the castle!"

"No no, we haven't checked the library yet!" said Dorcas, and there he was, wandering the Restricted section. She stared at the dot labelled 'Regulus Black'.

"You don't need me. Go over there," Lily said.

"Go back to the Tower," Dorcas told her, nodding.

"There you go, Mr. Prongs. She's definitely up to no good now!" Lily called after her. Dorcas laughed as she turned the corner.  
Then Lily got lost in thought as she walked back to Gryffindor tower. Her brain was ready to explode, she needed to talk to someone about what she knew. She couldn't _not_ tell someone.  
 _I can't tell Sirius. Regulus told me not to. But what if I should? What if there was a way out for Regulus? What if they could somehow get him out of this whole thing?_ _But what if I tell Sirius, and the whole thing backfires and both brothers end up dead? NO! DO NOT TELL HIM LILY._  
Then she thought about Remus. Sensible Remus. But then she remembered the conversation they'd all had about Regulus, back at James' estate. Remus could guess correctly how Regulus was feeling, but he knew nothing of old pureblood politics. So, he would never be able to predict how the family would react to a particular situation. Then the answer came to her. It had been there all along, and she wondered why it took so long for her to see it.  
 _Mr. Prongs._ _Of course. The perfect person to talk to.  
_ As soon as she stepped through the Portrait hole, she looked around for him, hoping he wasn't already busy with Salima. And luckily, he wasn't. James was sitting at a table with Peter, and saw him turn to look at her as she walked towards them. He shakily got to his feet and strode in her direction, holding the firewhiskey bottle. Peter followed him nervously. _Is he coming to talk to me?  
_ "Hey James!" she smiled up at him. "Hey Peter."

"Hi Lily," James said. Peter nodded at her.

"Great job with the match!" she said to him.

"Thanks." He looked sulky.

"It was really amazing how you scored so quickly at the end… you pulled a blinder there-" she said but he cut her off.

"Yeah... Spinnet's the one you should be saying that to. She's the one who passed me the Quaffle so I could score a second time," he slurred. "Not to mention Baby Black - if he hadn't caught the snitch too early…"

Lily grinned, thinking about how _Baby_ Black might have his tongue down Dorcas' throat right now. "Right."

"Where were you?" he asked her.

"I was with Dorcas," she said, and James and Peter exchanged glances."She showed me your Map, it's brilliant! Did you use a modified _Homonculus_ charm?"

"We did. Remus' idea," said Peter, and Lily grinned and nodded.

A minute passed in silence. "What were you doing with Dorcas?" asked James and Lily saw Peter nudge him.

About that, I need to talk to you. It's really important," she said.

"I already know what you're gonna say," said James.

"I don't think you do, James," she said dubiously.

"Oh, I think I do, Lily," said James, and she sensed this chill in his expression that she'd never seen before.

"Did Dorcas tell you?" she asked.

"No, but everybody else did," said James, pointing to the table in the back, where the seventh year students were sitting.

"What? How do they know- wait, hang on, what are you talking about? What did they tell you?" she asked worriedly.

"What you went and did with Dorcas," he said, and she stared at him, confused. It was a lousy situation, neither of them knew that they were _not_ talking about the same thing.

 _How does he know? How do they all know?_ "What exactly did they _tell_ you?!" she demanded to know.

"The fact that you are a lesbian," said James in a disdainful manner.

"Whaaat..." she said. What he'd said didn't make any sense whatsoever. She guessed that her tipsy brain was probably making her hear things.

But that made James feel even more annoyed. He thought she was still trying to hide it. "Look, there's no need to hide it, if you were off shagging Dorcas, that's your business, but I just wish I'd gotten a heads-up, you know," he said to her.

Lily blinked up at him. "Me shagging... what are you on about?" she asked, perplexed.

James inhaled angrily. "I'm saying, that you could have told me once, Lily. Just once would have been enough," he said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, James!" she said.

"Stop trying to hide it, everyone knows!" he said loudly.

"Knows what?!"

"That you're a lesbian!"

Lily was really angry now. _Can this person be any more immature? I had come here to talk about something so important, and this bloke decides to make a drunken rant, just right now._  
She could see that he was in no state to listen to her or take anything she says seriously. "I'm going to bed, please move," she said to them simply.

 _I cannot believe this girl! She is so stuck-up. Doesn't she feel even a little bad for me?_ "You're a real bitch, you know that?" said James spitefully.

"James!" Peter said emphatically. "What he means is-" he tried to say to Lily.

But Lily was outraged now. " _You_ are an immature, completely unfeeling person, with no regard for anyone else's feelings but your own! Just because I didn't go out with you, doesn't make me a lesbian," she snapped.

" _I_ have no regard for other people's feelings? Do you even hear yourself?" he asked her, unable to believe the words coming out of her mouth.

"I have nothing more to say, I am done here," she said. She was completely exhausted. She had no energy for senseless arguments.

James shook his head. "No, no, Lily Evans. _I_ am done with _you,"_ said James, and plonked the firewhiskey bottle down on the table with such a finality, that it made her afraid and somewhat abandoned.

"What do you mean?" she asked him.

James pointed to the staircase. "You wanted to go to bed, so go," he told her, not looking at her.

"But-"

"Please, just go," he said.

Lily had no idea what was going on, but she felt dreadful. She looked down at the firewhiskey bottle which, unknown to her, had made its way back to her after changing a few hands. She picked it up and made her way towards the staircase.

James went back to the group of seventh years, but Peter followed Lily. "Lily? Lily, listen-"

Lily turned around suddenly. "Peter, I'm fine," she said, even though she was not at all fine, and had no idea why she was telling him that. If she'd thought her head was going to explode earlier, it was nothing compared to how she was feeling now. Peter looked at her and she knew, that he knew, that she wasn't fine. But as per usual, when a person is hiding many things, they forget the art of small talk. "Goodnight," she told him and walked up the stairs.

By the time Peter walked back to the seventh years' table, he saw that they were talking about it, but not in a kind way. Eva Barclay and Adelaide Fulton were making fun of homosexuals, and he found that he was actually angry at them.

"They're addled in the head," said Adelaide.

"It's really none of our business what they choose to do," Bette Spinnet told them angrily.

"Don't feel too bad, Potter," said Ora Bronte. "You know, if you're looking for a date for Hogsmeade next weekend, may I suggest Salima?"

James looked up at Ora and Salima, Salima elbowed her friend in the side, mumbling something like, 'now's not the time...'.

"James, let's go to bed," said Peter, in the hope of preventing James from making any hasty decisions.

James looked up at him. "Yeah, okay," he said, and got up and went back to the dorm with Peter.

"Aw, poor Potter," said Bette. "He looks so forlorn."

"Like Bambi," said Adelaide, and both she and Eva started laughing.

"What the hell is _Bamby_?" Towler whispered to Mason. Mason shrugged. "Haven't the faintest."

Meanwhile, Dorcas was stood outside the library, contemplating whether or not to go in. Then she took a deep breath and whispered, " _Alohomora_." The doors didn't unlock. _Ugh!  
_ She racked her tipsy brain to remember other unlocking spells. " _Aperio._ " Nothing happened.  
" _Vula!_ " Didn't budge. _Damn it!  
_ "Open Sesame!" she said angrily, even though she knew that wasn't going to work. But to her disbelief, the library doors unlocked and opened with a swish. "What the _fuck_?" she said to herself, and then she realised that Regulus must have already undone Madam Pince's locking spell and put up a locking charm of his own, which coincidentally worked with 'Open Sesame'. _Did he also read_ Alibaba and the Forty Thieves, _the muggle story? Did he invent his own locking charm?!  
_ She stepped through the doors and closed them behind her, and looked around. It was pitch black. She lit her wand and walked slowly forward, her footsteps resounded eerily in the silent library. She paused for a moment, then opened the door leading to the Restricted section, and stepped in. She passed empty aisles and just before she reached the last one, she heard a nervous voice.

"Who's there?!"

She turned into the aisle and Regulus had his wand pointed in her face. He recognised her after a second and sighed. "Oh, Ms. Meadowes," he said, lowering his wand.

"Dumbledore says we might need to start using security questions," she said to him.

He nodded. "That's a good idea," he agreed.

She angled her wand light to look at his face. His face looked filthy, like he'd been rolling around on the floor, and there were tear tracks cutting through the dust on his cheeks. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, moving closer to him.

He held his hands up to stop her. "I'm fine."

She moved closer anyway. "Regulus, you're clearly not fine," she said, raising her hand to wipe his face, but he moved his face away.

"Ms Meadowes-"

"Regulus, look. I'm here for you. You can- you can share things with me, it's alright," she told him.

He moved past her and walked to the end of the aisle, and stood facing the wall. "Ms. Meadowes, I'm okay. I… I wish you'd stop checking up on me."

"But why? Can't we at least be friends?" Dorcas asked, her heart sinking.

"We don't have to be friends," he said.

"Why not? Isn't it better-"

"Because I can't!" he said, and turned around. "I've fallen in love with you, Ms. Meadowes!"

Dorcas' heart skipped a beat. She realised what Lily had meant when she'd told her that watching the two of them felt like reading a novel from the 1800's. This confession sounded a lot like Mr. Darcy's confession to Elizabeth from the Jane Austen novel, _Pride and Prejudice - In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you._

"But it's not your problem, it's mine. I promise, I'll never conduct myself in an indecent manner with you," Regulus was saying.

Dorcas slowly walked up to him. "But that's not enough," she told him.

"No, I won't let it compromise our arrangement," Regulus continued assuring her. _At least I'll get to be in your company for a few minutes..._

"But I was hoping you'd conduct yourself in an indecent manner," she said. Regulus was short, but he was still a lot taller than her. She stood on her toes, pulled his face towards her and kissed him.

He hummed and kissed her back, his arms hugging her close. But a minute later, he broke away. "Wait! Ms. Meadowes, how did you find me?"

"With this," she said, showing him the Map.

"Sirius' Map! He told me when he came back after his second year, that him and his friends were making this Map of Hogwarts, and I said to him how amusing it would be if they could track people on it as well. I can't believe he actually listened to me! And I thought he never takes my ideas into consideration!" he said, looking at the Map fondly.

Dorcas smiled. "He listens to many things you tell him, Regulus," she said. "Didn't he walk away from the family because you told him to?"

"Yeah," said Regulus sadly, handing the Map back to her. "You know, he told me that when I would come to Hogwarts, we would both play pranks on the teachers together…"

She stowed it back into her pocket and kissed his cheek. He enthusiastically picked her up, sat her down on the dusty writing desk behind them. Swoony sensations filled her and she moaned as he kissed her neck. His hands slowly drifted down to her shirt buttons. "Regulus," she said, and he stopped abruptly. "I love you too."

He grinned at her, looking disturbingly like Sirius. "I have _got_ to be the luckiest person on the planet!" he said, and resumed what he was doing.

As Lily climbed the stairs up to her room, she wanted to cry - Weep loudly to release all these emotions inside of her. But for some reason, tears wouldn't come. So she just went into her dorm room, and sat down on her bed and said nothing. The other three girls were still awake, and they stared at the firewhiskey bottle in her hands. Prefect Evans was acting weird today.

"Is it Severus again?" asked Marlene savagely. "He just doesn't understand the meaning of the words, ' _Fuck off_ ', does he?"

Lily glanced at her, too exhausted to correct her or make up a lie. So she just started chugging the firewhiskey.

"Whoa, Lily!" said Mary, walking over. She tried to wrench the bottle out of Lily's hands but she just slapped her hand away and finished it. There hadn't been much in there anyway.

"You can have it now," said Lily, putting the empty bottle in Mary's hands. Mary gave her a patronising look.

Alice, ever the kindhearted one, walked over and sat down beside her. "Lily honey, what did he say?" she asked.

"It wasn't Severus," Lily said, lying down against her pillows.

Marlene looked angrier. "Then who? Petunia? I'll send her a howler this time-"

Lily shook her head. "It was James..."

The girls glanced at each other. "James? What did he do now?" asked Mary. Marlene also walked over and sat on her bed.

"He called me a _lesbian_ because I won't go out with him," said Lily, holding her head.

"What!" they shouted, all at once, and Lily nodded.

"How ridiculous!" said Marlene. She found it baffling as to how James was mannerless enough to use homosexuality as an insult, especially when his two best friends were gay.

"Doesn't sound like James at all," said Alice.

"He was drunk," said Lily. "He told me some seventh years told him that."

"Why would they do that?" asked Alice.

"I have no idea," said Lily.

"Still, that's so immature," said Marlene, frowning.

"I know, I tried to ask him what was going on, but he didn't give me a chance," said Lily. "Then he said, he was done with me." She looked at all their faces.

"Done with you?" asked Mary.

"Yeah. I think he won't be talking to me anymore," said Lily.

"You don't have to be sad about that," said Alice. "The moment he finds out that you're actually not a lesbian, he'll give you a grovelling apology."

Lily glanced at Alice miserably. "Who needs his apology?" she said.

"Well, you can't expect anything else from boys," said Mary, folding her arms and sitting down beside Marlene. "They. Are. Imbeciles."

"I never said I expected anything else from him," said Lily immediately.

"They won't give you what you really need," continued Mary, and Lily realised it wasn't about James anymore. It was about Pratap.

"Yeah, who needs apology notes when you're craving love notes?" said Marlene, grinning.

"Lust notes would do, too," said Mary, and they all laughed.

"Yeah gimme some lust notes over some love notes any day," said Alice.

"I don't think you mean that, Alice," said Marlene.

"Oh yeah, what happened with you and Iker today? I'm so sorry about that," said Lily.

"I know why she did that, the hag," said Marlene. "And I still have no idea why he overreacted that way, but I somehow managed to convince him that I hadn't been serious about it... Heck, I don't even remember saying it, and everyone's constantly giving me shit about that. Who told Dorcas that anyway?"

"Perhaps, James," said Lily.

"How does he know that?" asked Marlene.

"He was there that day, remember, eavesdropping on our nice little picnic?" said Lily.

"Oh yeah," said Marlene, nodding.

"Yeah, he was," said Mary, nodding.

"James has no business telling Dorcas things about your love life," said Alice, a bit angrily.

"Yeah, I guess that's true too," said Marlene.

"You constantly try to find faults in everything he does, it's not fair," Alice scolded Lily. "Have you ever thought about that?"

"Come on, Alice, he just called her a lesbian for not wanting to go out with him," said Mary. "I think she's earned the right to look for his faults."

"Yeah," said Marlene.

"Fair enough," said Alice, but Lily disagreed. It was an honest observation, and it was also true. _I_ do _do that. It's like I walk around with a magnifying glass, hyper-focusing on his micro-flaws and picking an argument over every single thing he does.  
_

"He's never going to grow up, Oh my Godric!" said Mary.

"Also, that Dorcas... Dunno why you hang out with her, Lily! She's a mental case!" said Marlene vehemently, remembering how she fought with Iker again, because of her. Lily wanted to tell her the reason Dorcas had done that, but perhaps another day.

"Can I just say something?" said Alice. "Not me, well not right now anyway, but you have a problem each, and all three of the problems are related to boys."

"Yeah, you're right," said Marlene. "We have our own lives, I mean we don't need to be consumed by boys!"

"True," said Mary.

Lily couldn't help smiling as she looked up at their faces. "You're really sensible, Alice."

"You know what else they call me?" Alice asked her.

"What?"

"The tickle monster!" she exclaimed and starting tickling her, while Lily squealed and tried to get away. The other two laughed.

Remus and Sirius were sitting on the floor at at Sirius' trunk along with Coco, eating Fizzing Whizzbees, when James and Peter entered.

"Hey boys," said Remus. "Want a Fizzing Whizzbee?"

"Yeah," said James, holding out his hand.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked him, noticing his expression.

"Oh, nothing's wrong, you two carry on living in your own little world, blissfully oblivious to everything outside of it," said Peter sarcastically.

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other. _He's back to hating us._

"Peter, don't. Please," said James, in a tired voice, falling on his bed. Coco ran over to him in a flash and jumped on his bed. "Hi Coco," he said, picking her up.

"What happened?" asked Sirius, getting up and walking over.

"Lily's a lesbian," said Peter.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" asked Sirius.

"Oh Ha Ha..." said Remus.

"It's true," said James, and then Peter told them everything that had happened downstairs.

"What the weeping Wampus cats?!" said Sirius, appalled.

"Lily is not gay," Remus told them.

"Then why did she shag Dorcas?" asked James.

"She is not, she and I spent quite a few times admiring good looking blokes in the library, she's- she's not gay," maintained Remus. Sirius gave him a surprised look.

"Then why didn't she protest?" asked James.

"Maybe she was so annoyed, she didn't say anything," said Remus.

"Can we be friends, James?" said James in a mocking high-pitched voice, imitating Lily and made a few sobbing noises. "This is why she wanted to be friends." Peter grimaced at the other two.

"Prongs, are you crying?" asked Sirius, sitting down beside him. But there weren't any tears in his eyes.

"I'm past that stage, Padfoot," said James gravely, and Peter and Sirius glanced fearfully at each other. "No, you know what? I meant what I said to her," said James seriously. "I'm done."

"Huh?" said Sirius.

"I'm asking Salima out tomorrow," said James determinedly.

"What? No," said Sirius.

"Why?" asked James.

"Cos you don't really like her."

"I _do_ like her. For once I want to ask someone out, that actually wants to be with me, you know," said James, looking at Sirius' face.

Sirius sighed. "Yeah, I understand," he said, nodding.


	84. Anuses of Bullfrogs

On Monday morning, the Marauders went down to breakfast, where they met an uncommonly cheerful Dorcas in the Great Hall. "Hi boys!" she said, grinning at them.

"Hi Dorcas," said Remus to be polite, because the others maintained a stony silence. Not that she noticed.

"Here's your most treasured item," she said. "Really helped me a lot on Saturday night," she told them and handed them the Map. Remus took it and put it in his pocket, nodding at her.

"Alright, see you around," she said and joyfully walked away.

" _'Really helped me on Saturday night.'_ Bloody Hell!" said Peter. "I never would have believed this of her!"

"Me neither," said Sirius.

"I'm not hungry anymore," mumbled James, quickly exiting the Great Hall.

"Oh, no you don't, bucky," said Sirius, grabbing his arm and pulling him back in. "You have to eat something, come on."

"I don't feel like eating bacon and eggs!" moaned James.

"There's also cereal, and toast," said Peter.

"I don't want any of those," said James. "I want something fresh!"

"Why don't you transform and go, have a graze and come back," said Sirius, grinning. "We'll be waiting for you right here."

James was unamused. He grabbed Sirius' neck in a brutal choke-hold right there in the Great Hall.

"Cut it out, James!" said Peter, and tried to pull them apart, but James wouldn't let go.

"C _an't breathe! I can't breathe!_ " wheezed Sirius, tapping James' arm.

"Gentlemen, please!" said Professor Sinistra, walking into the Hall. "You're sixth years, you're supposed to be role models to the lower years!"

But he didn't let go. "Prongs, McGonagall is glowering at us, you'd better let go if you don't want detention for a week!" Remus whispered furiously and he reluctantly let go of Sirius.

Sirius took great gulps of hair. "You're insane... trying to kill me!"

"You're a fucking cretin!" said James, poking Sirius' chest with his finger.

"Well, you're a schmuck!" said Sirius, massaging his neck.

"I think it's just the hunger talking," said Remus, coming in between them. "Let's just go to the Kitchens and you can have whatever you want."

"Nice!" said Peter, rubbing his hands.

"My neck hurts so much," Sirius whispered to Remus on the way to the Kitchens.

"Go to Madam Pomfrey then," Remus told him pitilessly.

"I could have lost consciousness!" said Sirius.

"Honestly, I think you sort of deserved it," said Remus. James heard it and smiled to himself.

"How can you say that, Moony?!" whispered Sirius furiously. "I could have died!"

" _Died_? Stop being so dramatic!"

When they entered the Kitchens, everyone there was super busy, refilling the large trays and bowls on the four long tables. But still, a house elf came over to ask what they wanted. Remus made the two of them sit in opposite ends of a small table. "I want a salad," ordered James, grumpily folding his arms.

"James, a salad doesn't contain enough calories to last you until lunch," said Remus. "You need carbohydrates and protein too."

"Fine, I'll have a lentil soup. And a salad," James told them house-elf. It nodded and quickly left to make it.

"I didn't think they'd have lentils here," said Remus.

"Oh, they do have," said Peter. He, very distinctly remembered the embarrassing day last year, when he had entered the Kitchens one night in rat form , and eaten some half-cooked lentils, and spent the entire day farting. Remus had been so annoyed with him, he'd decided to sleep on one of the couches in the Common room.

"What is a lentil?" Sirius asked Remus.

"They're like legumes, but they're grains," Peter told him. "Contain loads of protein."

"Mum makes a Sri Lankan dish from it sometimes," said James, unable to resist joining in the conversation. "It's called Dal, and it's really delicious."

"Doll?" asked Sirius, who knew nothing about Asian cuisines.

"Not doll, Dal," said James. "I'll ask mum to make it for you next time."

"Cool."

James looked like he had calmed down, but internally, he still felt like a volcano about to burst, the magma slowly rising upwards. But he constructively channeled all this rage into the day's tasks and performed nonverbal spells exceptionally well in Transfiguration.

"Well done, Mr. Potter," Minerva said. "Look here everyone, Mr. Potter has perfectly transfigured the log into a ladder."

But in Defence Against the Dark Arts, it had the opposite effect. Their professor, Alex Arsinoe was from Cyprus, and he was extremely stuck-up. Unfortunately for him, he also had a huge arse, which made him and his name the _butt_ of many jokes. Not to mention, he was really really picky and impossible to please. Thus, as it goes in most schools, the teenagers had christened him with the a new name, 'The Arse'.

"Nice one, James," said Sirius, patting him on the back, as James non-verbally stupefied Remus twice in a row. He muttered _Rennervate,_ and Remus came back into consciousness and grinned, rubbing his head.

But the professor was displeased. " _Mr Potter_ ," he called.

James rolled his eyes and turned to face him. " _Yes_?"

"It would be nice if you would stop showing off," said Arsinoe.

"I wasn't trying to show off, I did what you asked us to-"

"Don't talk back to me, get back to work! And I also notice you are yet to use _Rennervate_ non-verbally, so learn that, first!" said the professor and James turned back to the boys.

"That's right, Prongsy. You don't need to take any shit from that arsehole," said Sirius in a carrying whisper and everyone around them sniggered. Unluckily, the professor heard it too and they both ended up in detention that evening, enjoying the most pointless punishment devised by teachers, ever - Writing lines.

"What a _bummer!_ " said James, grinning.

"Guess it's better than pickling _anuses_... of bullfrogs," said Sirius and shrugged.

James chuckled silently as they wrote, ' _I must not refer to my professors with derriere-related humour like a five year old._ '

"Look at what he's making us write. _Fundamentally_ , he's asking us to step up our game, Pads," James whispered.

" _Fanny_ -tastic!"

While Sirius and James were dealing with aching hands, Remus was waiting for Lily so they could do their rounds. But instead of Lily, Jones came along. "Where's Lily?" Remus asked him.

"Sorry, mate, you're stuck with me tonight. She's too hungover from Firewhiskey on Saturday night, _apparently_ ," said Jones.

"What! No one is hungover for two whole days!" said Remus as they stepped out of the Portrait hole.

"Yeah, I think Dorcas is trying to protect her girlfriend," said Jones, winking at him.

Remus frowned. "From what?"

"From your questions about Saturday night."

Remus nodded, but it seemed so unlikely that Lily Evans, ever the fierce tiger, would hide away like this. It was more likely that she was mad about something.

Peter managed to convince poor Frank to ask Alice after Lily, and he did so nervously. But luckily, Alice wasn't mad. "Oh, she's just hungover from drinking too much firewhiskey," she told them, coming down the stairs.

"Nothing else?" asked Peter, and Alice glanced at him.

"Maybe, but it doesn't really concern you lads," she told him.

"It does if it was because of their fight-"

"Fight?" asked Alice coldly. "Is that what you call getting drunk and behaving so utterly childishly?"

"I give up," Peter sighed exasperatedly and walked past her, up to the dorm.

After his rounds, Remus looked around the Common room, and spotted Alice and Frank, sitting on a couch, talking. "Alice-" Remus began.

"What do you want, Remus?" she asked. Beside her, even Frank looked a little cross.

"I just wanted to ask if Lily was alright. Jones said she was hungover," said Remus.

"She's fine."

"Can you ask her to come downstairs, then? I want to talk to her," he said.

"No. You'll only try and convince her by giving some excuse for James! It's what you always do!" said Alice, now getting a little angry.

"No! I can understand her position," he explained in a low voice.

Alice looked a bit confused. _How can he understand her position?_ "Well, I'll let her know, but just give her some space if she needs it, alright?" said Alice, and he nodded.

"Thanks, Alice."

Because the workload for the sixth years increased so much, even the Marauders had almost no time to talk about anything to each other. They spent their time eating, working and sleeping. Almost a week passed in such confusion, and before they knew it, December had arrived. The Hogsmeade weekend was right in front of them. So, when the Marauders walked down to the Great Hall for lunch that Friday afternoon, James declared that he was going to ask out Salima.

"Er, are you sure, Prongs?" asked Peter.

"Yes, I actually am," he replied.

"Don't know if this is a good idea. Maybe you should wait until you're properly over Lily," said Remus.

"The only way I can move on, is by moving on. Onto another girl," said James.

"Look, why don't you two let him do what he wants?" said Sirius.

"Fine," said Remus, nodding.

James scanned the Slytherin table. "Looks like she's not here, yet. I'll wait for her outside. You guys go ahead and have your lunch," he said, and stepped out into the Entrance Hall again.

"Sirius, you said it yourself, that you don't think he really likes Salima," said Remus, as they walked to the Gryffindor table.

"I just want to see him happy."

"If he doesn't like her all that much, no one's going to be happy," said Remus. Peter didn't say anything. He even sat a little separately from them at the table, but they didn't notice.

"Look Moony, this is something he has to do, so I think we should let him do it," said Sirius.

"I get that, but it's not fair on Salima's part," said Remus.

"You didn't see them together, they really do have chemistry," said Sirius.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Outside in the Entrance Hall, Lily and Mary walked past James to the Great Hall. James didn't even notice them, and Lily realised that he must be waiting for Salima. She remembered him waiting like that for her over the years. Sometimes to just say hi, sometimes to ask her to Hogsmeade. _That's probably what he's doing right now, waiting to ask Salima to Hogsmeade._  
Then Lily remembered when he had waited for her last year, to ask her to ask Remus if he liked anyone, and smiled to herself at the memory.

Then James saw Salima walking down the stairs. She spotted him and waved to him. He waved back. "Hi James," she said, approaching him.

"Hi Salima, how are you?"

"Good, I'm good, and you?" she asked, grinning. James noticed Travers and a few of his cronies give him mean looks as they walked past them.

"Great," he said, suddenly feeling really nervous. "Er, do you like beef stew? It's beef stew for lunch today."

"I find it quite bland, but it's alright," she said.

"I see," he said.

"I know you won't want to eat it, I remember you said you're preferring vegetarian food recently," she said, and James smiled, feeling happy she remembered that.

"Yeah, did you want to go to the Kitchens to get something else to eat?" he asked.

"That's a good idea," she said, peeking into the Great Hall. "I'll just... I have to... No, sorry, I can't, I'd said I'd work on our Charms essay with Lottie - Charlotte that is."

"That's okay," he said. "Er, how about tomorrow? Do you want to go to Hogsmeade to get a proper lunch?"

She grinned. "Yes, I'd love to," she said happily.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then, say at ten?" he asked.

Salima nodded. "Yes, see you, James," she said, and walked into the Great Hall, nearly skipping with joy.

But when Saturday morning actually arrived, James Potter sat on his bed with a helpless expression. "I can't believe it's here already," he said, and the other three laughed.

"It's literally your own fault, James!" said Peter, shaking his head. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I wanted to, but I'm really nervous!" he exclaimed. Then he punched his pillow. "I have no idea what to talk to her about."

"You don't have to prepare, just let the conversation flow naturally," said Remus.

"This isn't like you and Pads, you two have known each other for a long time before you- you know..." said James. He felt awkward to talk about it in front of Peter and Remus understood that.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. "Erm... She's brilliant at Gobstones. You could probably start talking about that if there is a lull in the conversation."

"Cool, thanks," said James.

"You could always talk about Egypt," said Sirius.

"No, we talked a lot about Egypt that night," said James.

"What night?" asked Peter.

"That night when I met her near the Ravenclaw Tower," said James. "Didn't I tell you?" Peter shook his head. "Oh well, you can ask Sirius about it... anyway, what else?"

"She's hot," said Remus, grinning at James, and James grinned back.

"She definitely is," said James.

"Well you can tell her how pretty she is," said Remus.

"...and she's Canadian, so I think her Quidditch team is... something related to mooses," mumbled Peter.

"The Moose-jaw Meteorites?" asked Sirius, chuckling. "They have the record for the most broken bones due to Bludger-hits ever!"

"Moose-jaw- guys, you're thinking of Eva Barclay, she's the Canadian one," said James. "Salima is not Canadian."

"Oh yeah," said Sirius. "Where is she from?"

"Kent," said James.

"Right," said Sirius. Coco ran after them out of the open door. "No Coco, you're too young to come down yet," he said, and put her back in the room.

"Just be yourself. But don't stereotype. Don't talk about Islam or about Lebanon until she mentions it, okay?" said Remus, as they descended the stairs as a group.

"Er…" James uttered, unable to say anything else.

They met Mary and Alice down in the Great Hall, they were wearing cross expressions. "So, it's true, is it?" Mary asked.

"What is?" asked Sirius.

"That you asked Salima Shafiq to Hogsmeade?" asked Alice.

"Yes, it is," Peter answered for him.

"Just... I have no words at the way you spoke to Lily," said Alice, shaking her head.

"Then don't say anything, thanks," said Sirius, smiling mockingly.

The two girls glanced at each other, shocked. "Let's go, not even worth it!" said Mary and they flounced away.

The boys looked at each other. "Seriously, Lily is in the wrong here. What are they mad at him for?" asked Sirius.

But before anyone could reply, Salima waved at them and walked over. "Hi James, ready to go?" she asked confidently, and he felt at ease.

As the two of them walked across the Great Hall, many heads turned to stare at them. "Feels like I'm under a spotlight," she said, grinning. "I guess it comes with the territory."

"What's a spotlight?" he asked her, and she laughed at his blatant wizardishness.

"It's like a really focused light which is used on stage, during muggle concerts and stuff. When they want you to look at only the one person. The others on the stage are basically in the dark, and it has a nice effect to the performance," she explained.

"Oh yeah," he said, nodding. "I've seen those at the concerts I've been to, they're pretty cool."

Salima smiled. _He goes to muggle concerts_.

"How did your Charms essay go, by the way?" he asked her.

"Oh, we're not done yet, we begged Professor Flitwick and got an extension for it," she said, grinning.

"Professors never give us extensions!" said James. "It's really annoying."

"Yeah, it's almost like they can see right through your excuses," she said, and he laughed.

"So, what do you want to do first?" he asked her.

"Shall we go to Honeydukes? I've a surprise for you," she said.

"Sounds exciting," said James, taking her hand.

The Honeydukes date ended up being a big success. James was very happy when he came back to the Tower. "Mrs. Flume is Salima's mother's friend, and she arranged this sweet-tasting thing for us," he told the others. "They'd just imported dozens of candies from different countries, and we just spent most of the day tasting the weirdest and most exciting new sweets."

"That sounds so fun!" said Peter.

"Yeah, I'm so glad you had fun with her," said Remus. Sirius nodded. All three of them were genuinely very happy for him.

On Monday, Remus, James and Sirius spent all evening practicing Charms for a test the next day. By nightfall, they were completely exhausted. Sirius fell asleep immediately, so did James. But Remus couldn't sleep. He had Restless Leg Syndrome, and right before full moon (which was tomorrow night), his legs sometimes became so restless, it was impossible to sleep with the uncomfortable feeling. Peter, who didn't take Charms, had no homework that day, and had spent the whole evening sleeping. So he was awake at night, and he heard Remus toss and turn for the longest time, trying to find a comfortable position for his legs. But they wouldn't stop doing the thing - being restless. So he finally got up and lit a few of the candles in the room.

"What's going on?" Peter heard James ask Remus.

"It's my legs again," said Remus, putting on his jumper over his pajamas.

"Restless?" asked James, sitting up.

"Yeah," said Remus, flexing his toes before putting his shoes on. "I'm just going to see Madam Pomfrey."

"Do you want me to come with you?" asked James.

"That's alright, Prongs," said Remus, smiling. "She might make me stay the night, so I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Okay, take care."

"Yeah," said Remus, and shut the door. Peter heard James get up to drink some water and then go back to sleep.

 _This sucks. Why did I sleep in the evening? Now, I'm gonna be up all night, and be nodding off in classes tomorrow! I hate this!  
_ A couple of hours later, Peter began to drift off. But suddenly he heard someone roughly change their position on their bed, and it brought him out of sleep again. _Damn it, who was that?  
_ Then Peter shut his eyes again. But it happened again. And then he heard a whimper. _Sirius_.  
Peter opened his curtains and peered at Sirius. His curtains were half-closed, and he could see the outline of his face, but not much else. He saw Sirius' head move and gasp in his sleep. _He's having a nightmare._  
Peter knew James would always wake him up if he was having a nightmare, but he didn't feel like doing that right now. _Perhaps, James will wake up if he makes more noise._

And James did. "Sirius?" he called, opening his curtains, and Peter heaved a sigh of relief. Sirius didn't respond, so James got up, lit some candles, and walked over to his bed and shook him. "Sirius, wake up, you're having a nightmare."

Peter could clearly see Sirius' expression, it looked bad. He looked like he was jerkily shaking his head, as if to say no to some invisible person. Then he gasped again, trying to grab something that wasn't there.

"Sirius! Padfoot, wake up," said James, slapping his face, and then he finally woke up. Even Coco looked concerned. She sat on the floor next to James' feet, looking up at Sirius.

He opened his eyes and blinked up at James. "James, what?"

"Are you okay? You were having a bad dream," said James.

"Um, yeah, good to know it was just a dream," said Sirius, chuckling awkwardly.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, go back to bed," said Sirius, nodding and smiling at James.

"Sirius, you don't have to pretend with me, you know that," said James. "What happened in the dream?"

"I er... don't actually remember much of it, there were some people trying to- I don't know, it was weird, it wasn't Hogwarts... I think I was in the Forbidden forest," said Sirius.

"Do you want some water?" asked James.

"Okay," said Sirius, and James poured him a goblet. He drank it and handed the goblet back to James. "Thanks."

James watched as Sirius lay back down and covered himself with his duvet. Then he went back to his own bed and shut his curtains. Coco jumped up onto Sirius' side table and lay down there.

Peter watched the whole thing and it surprised him every time, how much of a light sleeper James was. Then he turned to his side and shut his eyes. _Now, I definitely have to get some sleep._  
But around ten minutes later, he heard a shuffling noise and opened his curtains again. He saw Sirius open his curtains and walk over to Remus' bed, only to see that he wasn't there. Sirius looked around and walked to the bathroom and looked inside, it was empty, also. Then he came back to his bed, grabbed his wand off the bedside table and went downstairs. Two minutes later, he was back. Peter watched curiously as he opened James' book bag, he appeared to be looking for something. But it probably wasn't there, so he checked James' trunk, but didn't find what he was looking for. Peter watched as he got agitated, and looked around the room again, running his hands frustratedly through his hair. Then he opened James' curtain and shook him awake.

"Prongs!"

"What is it? Are you okay?" asked James patiently, sitting up for the third time and putting his glasses on. Peter wondered how he wasn't annoyed by it all.

"Moony isn't here, I checked the Common room, but he's not there either, and I can't find the Map-"

"He's gone to the Hospital wing! He probably took the Map with him," said James quickly.

"What! What happened to him?!" asked Sirius worriedly.

"He's fine, it was just his restless legs again," said James. "Don't worry."

"I have to see him," said Sirius immediately, putting his coat on.

"But he's fine, he'll probably be sleeping," said James, getting to his feet. "Was the nightmare about him?"

"Y-No. Yes, I'm not sure, but I just want to see him, I need to see him once!" said Sirius.

"I'm coming with you," said James, putting his shoes on, and Peter sat up automatically.

"Me too," he said, getting out of bed and putting his shoes on as well.

When they opened the door, Coco ran out first. "Fine, you can come as well, Coco," said James, and picked her up and put her in his pocket.

When they reached the Hospital wing and peered through the double doors, they saw Remus sitting grumpily on one bed, with his arms folded. Madam Pomfrey was putting a blanket on him. Then Sirius couldn't wait any longer, he pushed the doors open and walked in.

"What are you boys doing here?" Madam Pomfrey demanded.

"I have a stomachache," Peter replied immediately. Everyone in the room knew that was a lie, but no one said anything.

Poppy sighed. "Since when?" she asked. She knew it was not true, but she had to ask in case there was a 0.1 percent chance it was.

"About half hour," said Peter, and she sighed again and went back inside to get him a potion for it.

"What are you three doing here?" asked Remus, wrapping the blanket around him more tightly, and as they approached his bed, they realised that he had his feet in a bucketful of ice.

"Yikes, isn't that cold?" asked Peter.

"It is, but it's helping with the legs," said Remus.

"Sirius woke up, and he just had to see you," said James. "Look, Coco came too," he said, handing him the brown kitten.

"Aww really?" said Remus, taking Coco and smiling at Sirius, who sat down on the bed beside him.

"Yeah... well," said Sirius, looking at his feet in the bucket. "How are your legs now?"

"Better," said Remus, and reached out and put a lock of Sirius' hair behind his ear. Sirius smiled at him. And suddenly, Peter understood.


	85. 53rd and 3rd

This gesture which Remus had just done, putting Sirius' hair behind his ear: Peter had seen him do that probably dozens of times before. But he had never thought it odd. And all those things he'd seen them do for each other, like Sirius practically asking Remus to the ball (which he now realised, he probably was), Sirius hugging Remus in the Shack, Remus magically absorbing Sirius' wounds that one time, Remus telling Amanda Wallace off, Remus getting jealous and punching Sirius because he'd given all his dark chocolate to Hristov, Sirius losing sleep, worrying about Remus, Remus doing Sirius' Clabberts essay, Sirius giving Remus only the sweet grapes, the socks thing, and the millions of other gestures they'd done for each other over the years... Peter had never thought any of them were wrong. Because they had felt so natural. Because they were Sirius and Remus, they were close like that - they'd always been on a different level of close, it was only Peter who'd noticed it so late. They really did complete each other, like two adjacent pieces in a puzzle.  
And it finally clicked for Peter. This was what true love looked like. _This_. James had been right. It _wasn't_ about Peter's opinion, or anyone else's for that matter. Because this was about them, and them alone, not about other people. It really didn't matter whether they were different genders or not, just like it didn't matter if people were the same race, level of blood purity, class etc., if two people were in love, they should be together. It really _was_ as simple as that.

"Don't ever do that again," said Peter, and he watched as their smiles sagged and felt quite ashamed of himself. "I meant, don't ever go anywhere without telling him first. He was worried."

"What?" said Remus, looking at Sirius.

"Yeah, he had a nightmare," said James.

"Wasn't... no," mumbled Sirius.

"It was," said Peter, nodding. "He searched for you, and when he didn't find you, he panicked."

"Wormy," said Sirius, glancing at Peter pointedly. "No I didn't."

"Yes, he did," said James, grinning.

"Padfoot, I'm so sorry," said Remus, and hugged him. "I just thought I'd see you in the morning."

Sirius happily hugged him back, and watching them like that made Peter's heart feel light and floaty. _This is what it should be like._

Then, Remus kissed Sirius on the cheek, and they heard a loud crash behind them. They all jumped and looked over. Madam Pomfrey had dropped the silver tray and the glass bottle of green potion she'd been carrying on it. They saw her cheeks turn slightly pink as she hastily took out her wand and muttered _Reparo_. Peter closed his eyes and sighed to himself as he realised she'd probably seen the kiss and dropped the tray in surprise. It had taken so long for Sirius and Remus to convince one person (himself) to accept them, and now, here was another person.  
 _Merlin, this is hard. But she's probably more understanding than I was._  
And he felt even more guilty for his behaviour over the past few weeks.

Madam Pomfrey went back into her stores and brought out another bottle of potion. "I'll give you very little Mr. Pettigrew, only half a teaspoon," she said, pouring a few drops of potion onto a spoon and shoving it into his mouth. "This potion will digest all the food in your stomach. You may be very hungry as soon as you wake up, but remember not to gorge at breakfast again, otherwise the stomachache might be back."

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey," said Peter, swallowing the minty potion.

Then she noticed the kitten in Remus' hands. "What is that cat doing here?" she asked angrily. "No animals allowed in the Hospital wing. Take it away now."

Sirius grinned at the others. Technically all four of them could be considered animals.

"Sorry Poppy," said James, grinning and taking Coco back.

"It's Madam Pomfrey to you," she said. "Alright then, you three better head back to the dorm now."

"Okay," said James, and started walking out, Peter walked out with him.

"Will you attend classes tomorrow?" Sirius asked, getting to his feet.

"Of course," said Remus. "Can't miss classes, it won't make sense."

Sirius smiled at Remus. "I think Pete doesn't hate us anymore," he said, and Remus nodded and smiled.

Peter and James waited outside for Sirius. "I was right, wasn't I?" said James.

"About what?"

"About them, you can't help but love them," said James, grinning at him.

"Fine, you were right, no need to gloat," said Peter.

"I'm always right," said James, gloating anyway.

"You're almost always wrong about things," said Peter, just to annoy him.

"When was I wrong?" demanded James.

"Remember that time you thought all ladybugs were female?" said Peter.

"That was a joke!"

"It wasn't, you were being completely serious. And what about that time you predicted that my animagus would be a horse, and Sirius' form, an elephant shrew?"

"Those were just guesses, we were all wrong!" said James, and the argument continued even after Sirius joined them and all the way back to the dorm.

A week later, Marlene, Mary and Alice were sitting in the Common room, studying, and Lily ran up to them. "Ladies, you will never guess what's happened just now!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, about the attack on those Ministry workers? We read it," said Alice sadly.

"What? What happened?" asked Lily, sitting down beside them.

"Madam Cronk was murdered in an attack outside the visitors' entrance to the Ministry," Mary told her. "In broad daylight, in muggle London too. The Ministry had to send out many obliviators."

"Was she a muggleborn?" asked Lily fearfully.

"No, she was a pureblood," Mary told her.

"Oh."

"Someone else was also injured, who was that?" asked Marlene.

"Two others, Jack Simpson and Lola Knightley," said Mary. "They're both at St. Mungo's. But the healers say they are going to be alright."

"That's good," said Lily.

"The _Daily Prophet_ says, Madam Cronk was working on devising a strategy to identify spies in the Ministry, and she was probably killed to halt it," said Alice.

"Ah, I see," said Lily.

"It could also be, that the strategy was already in place and she'd discovered someone, and was killed because they wanted to silence her," said Marlene.

"That's entirely plausible, we all know the _Prophet's_ behind the times sometimes," said Alice.

"I gave my copy to Magdalena, she's over there if you want to read the article," said Mary, pointing to the nearby table.

Lily got up and took the newspaper from Magdalena and read the article. It was terrible, Madam Cronk was apparently a very capable woman and had been on her way to become head of Aurors next month. It was like the death eaters were picking out and killing all potential threats. Lily's issue hadn't been this, but to discuss what she'd found out sounded silly now. Every time she tried to delve into her feelings and stuff, some big and more important issue came along to make her forget about it all.

When she came back to her table, her friends were seriously discussing their futures. "Frank and I are joining the Auror-training programme right after we graduate," said Alice.

"I always assumed you'd study to become a researcher in Herbology," said Mary.

"I love Herbology, yes, but I think right now, I want to help defeat whoever these death-eaters are," said Alice. They she smiled. "Maybe in a different life, I could pursue Herbology."

"Well, you could always do that after the war is over," said Lily, sitting down. "Cos it will be over one day."

The other girls smiled at her. "That's a really nice thought, Lily," said Mary.

"Yeah," said Alice. "Hopeful. Quite different from your usual take on things."

"Are you saying I'm a pessimist?" asked Lily, laughing.

Er, not exactly, but you do have a set view on things," said Marlene. "So do I, in fact."

"I think I'm changing a little," said Lily. "I'm learning to see that things are not always as they seem."

Alice smiled in a knowing manner. "Is there something specific that made you change?"

"Yeah, James-"

"Holy _Merlin_ , Lily-" Alice began to say.

"No, hear me out!"

"Okay, fine," said Alice, folding her arms.

"Dorcas and I-"

"You're still hanging with Dorcas?!" asked Marlene.

"Dorcas isn't that bad, Marlene," said Lily. "In fact, she's quite sensible, even if her manners aren't always polished."

"Oh please, Lily," said Marlene. "You always get influenced so easily."

"Perhaps that's true, but that day when she told Iker about what you said, she was doing it on purpose."

"I know it was on purpose, she hates me, that's why," said Marlene. "I have no idea why, but I think she wants to ruin my relationship with Iker."

"Perhaps she's jealous that you're so happy with him," suggested Mary.

"Will you two stop it?! She's not jealous at all, and no, she doesn't hate you!" said Lily loudly. "She only did that, that day, because she wanted to make you see how it feels when you say the things you say!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Marlene.

Lily took a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but Marlene, sometimes, you say these things that you think are funny, but you don't realise you're hurting the other person," she explained.

"What? Everyone finds my jokes funny!" said Marlene. "It's only that Dorcas feels the need to judge everything I say."

"Actually Marlene, there are some occasions when you do end up making people feel uncomfortable," said Alice awkwardly. "I never told you this, but when you made fun of my last name in front of everyone, I felt really bad. We've all forgotten it, but the Slytherins still use it and I hate it."

"Oh," said Marlene. "But why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to make you feel bad," said Alice guiltily.

"Yeah, and also, I don't really appreciate the fat jokes," said Mary. "I know I'm fat."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, girls," said Marlene. "I'll try to keep that in mind. But next time, in case I'm being stupid, I'd like if you didn't tiptoe around me, and just gave me a plonk on the head instead," she said, laughing awkwardly.

"Okay," said the other two, grinning.

"Do you girls know what I found out earlier?" said Mary.

"What?" asked the other three curiously.

"Amanda Wallace is now dating Henry Cadwallader," she said.

"Really?" asked Alice. "I thought she'd declared that she wouldn't date anyone who was ginger?"

"Why did she say that?" asked Lily.

"She doesn't want her children to have red hair," said Alice.

"That is just silly!" said Marlene.

"I know," said Alice, and they all laughed.

"Apparently she fell in love," said Mary. "She told Patricia Adams that she's never met a kinder soul in her life."

"Well, that's nice," said Marlene sardonically. "Are you sure she didn't use a love potion to trap him?"

"Marlene, how can you talk like that! Where's the feminism?" said Alice.

"Well, you three may have forgotten what she did to Sirius, but I didn't," said Marlene, crossly folding her arms.

"Wait, before we get carried away with passionate debates about feminism, will you please listen to what I came here to tell you?!" interrupted Lily as Alice opened her mouth again.

"Oh yeah, you were saying something, before Marlene rudely interrupted you," said Mary, laughing.

"Okay, okay, go ahead," said Marlene.

"Dorcas, Jones and I were just walking back from McGonagall's office just now, and this little girl, firstie I think... Everly Creevey, that's the one!"

"What about her?" asked Mary.

"She came right up to us and asked me if it was true that Dorcas and I were in a relationship!"

"What!" the three girls exclaimed.

"I know! Apparently, the story's been going around since the Quidditch party! And then we realised what had happened. Mike Mason was coming onto Dorcas pretty strongly, so we pretended to be gay, we held hands and got out of there before anyone could stop us!" said Lily.

"Oh no!" said Alice.

"Mike Mason? Ew," said Mary.

"I know! I completely forgot about that! Jones casually told us that everyone had called James over and told him that I was a lesbian and had just gone off to shag her!" Lily told them.

"Gulping plimpies!" exclaimed Marlene.

"He wasn't being rude! He was actually, genuinely asking!" said Lily.

"Oh no!" said Alice again.

"Merlin, boys really _are_ stupid!" said Mary, rolling her eyes.

"He's not an awful person, he was just asking…" said Lily sadly.

"Lily, I'm so sorry. Ugh, this is all so fucked up!" said Marlene.

"Yeah... but it really got me thinking, you know," said Lily. "Every time James and I try to be proper friends, something comes up, some bloody argument, and we end up fighting."

"I have noticed that," said Marlene. "It's almost as if the fates are playing a game with you."

"No," said Lily. "The fates are being very kind to me, it's me who keeps fucking things up. You were right, Alice."

"About what?"

"About me always trying to find faults in everything James does," said Lily. "It's true, I have no idea why I've become so prejudiced. I take everything he does in the wrong way!"

"I think I know why," said Mary.

"Why?"

" _Severus!_ He brainwashed you," said Mary.

"Yeah!" said Marlene. "Now that you've said it, it makes sense. Cos every time you were off hanging with Severus, you'd come back full of gossip about the Marauders."

"That's true, I think your head would be so full of crap he'd told you about them, that you'd get doubly angry at everything James did, and he'd have no idea why you were overreacting," said Alice.

"Well, that might be true, but I can't just blame Severus for the whole thing, it was mostly my fault," said Lily.

"Hmm... it's like you've named the book without reading a single page of it," said Mary.

"Exactly."

"So this is what made you change?" asked Alice. "Made you hopeful?"

"Yes! That was what I was trying to say before," said Lily, snapping her fingers. "Things are never as they seem. There's always something to be hopeful about in every situation, and I think we should never lose sight of it."

"Well said, Lily," said Marlene.

Lily smiled at her. "I'm going to find Remus now," she said, getting to her feet. "I don't know why I keep punishing _him_ for things I think James has done."

The girls laughed.

Lily found Remus studying in the Astronomy section. She simply went over to him and sat down next to him, and he looked up at her in surprise.

"Hey Remus," she said, smiling awkwardly.

"Would you like to tell me why you needed 'space' from me?!" he asked loudly. People around them shushed him.

"Well, the thing is..."

" _Yes_?"

"Remus, I'm not a lesbian," she said in a low voice.

Remus closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "What the bloody fuck is going on?"

"That night, Mason was coming onto Dorcas, so we pretended to be lovers to escape," she said guiltily.

"Oh my God," said Remus.  
 _How do I tell James? Should I tell James? Would he have asked out Salima if he'd known she wasn't gay? Would he start regretting his decision if I told him now?  
_ He exhaled deeply through his mouth. "Um, okay," he said. "But that still doesn't explain why you weren't talking to _me_."

"Alice said you'd somehow convince me that James was innocent," said Lily.

"Ah, so you figured you needed to make up your mind on your own," he said, and she nodded, blushing with guilt and mortification.  
But he is," he said. "He is innocent. And you found that out without me needing to 'convince' you. This proves only one thing. That I'm always right, and that you need to be _listening_ to me, not avoiding me."

"Yeah, okay," she said.

"Plus, if you hadn't been avoiding me, I would have found out sooner that you weren't actually gay," said Remus, gathering his books up.

Lily stared at him.

"Lily, if you would excuse me, I need to go find Sirius," he said, putting his books in his bag and standing up.

"Is this about Salima?" she asked him directly.

He paused and glanced at her. "Why would you think that?"

"No reason," she said, shrugging casually on the outside, but internally cursing herself for blurting that out.

He continued to pack his bag. "I'll see you around, Lily," he told her, and he left her there to bang her head on the table.

When he reached the dorm and opened the door, the song _53rd_ _and_ _3rd_ was playing on the magical radio. Sirius and James were playing what looked like a very serious game of chess. Beside them, sat Peter, pink in the face and sweating. "Er, are you alright, Wormtail?" he asked.

"Wormy has been ruining the game for us by giving us un-sought suggestions," said James, looking up at Remus.

"So we told him to shut the hell up," said Sirius thoughtfully. "Hmm... knight to- wait wait, no."

"Ah," said Remus. So, Peter was literally bursting with un-given advice.

"Make your move!" said James.

"Wait," said Sirius.

"If I could just say..." said Peter, bending forward.

"No Pete," said James. "If you tell him what the best move is, he'll never learn."

"Padfoot, I have to talk to you," said Remus.

"Whatever it is, it'll have to wait," Peter told him. "This game is of monumental significance."

"Sirius, it's been ten minutes," said James.

"But he needs to think," said Peter.

"Pads, I really need to talk to you," said Remus.

"If everyone could please be quiet!" said Sirius loudly.

Remus rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed to watch the game. Finally, Sirius told his knight where to go.

"What the heck is that?" asked James. "Is that move even legal?"

"Yes it is," said Sirius.

They both looked at Peter, and he nodded. "It is, and luckily for my sanity, it was the move I was going to suggest," he said breathlessly. Now it was James' turn.

"Why are you holding Coco so tightly? You'll hurt her," said Remus, taking Coco from James' hand.

"I wasn't holding her _so_ tightly," said James. "Only a little tightly. And that's only because she was wriggling out of my hand, pouncing on the chess pieces and trying to eat them."

Remus laughed. "Good Coco," he told her. "Is that song by the _Ramones_?" he then asked, a little while later.

"Yes, it is!" said Sirius excitedly.

"How did you get muggle songs to play on the radio? I noticed they were playing on the day of the party as well," said Remus.

"We tuned it so it catches the specific radio waves," said James.

"But doesn't Hogwarts have a block against muggle technology?" asked Remus.

"That's what makes us such experts," said James. "Notice how I'm patting myself on the back 'cos none of you are doing it?"

"Let me pat you on the back there Prongsy," said Sirius, moving to hit him hard on the back.

"OW!" yelled James and pushed Sirius away, who accidentally upset the chess pieces. The chess pieces started yelling at him.

"Well, get back to your places then," he told them.

"I don't remember where I was," said the white King.

"Great, now that it's ruined, please Sirius, can I talk to you?" said Remus, grabbing his arm and leading him out of the dormitory.

"Don't put Coco down outside," James called after them.

"Okay," he heard in reply.

"Wonder what's so urgent?" he said to Peter, packing up the chess set.

They reached the common landing of the staircase and Remus stopped there. "Sirius, Lily just-" he started to say, but some third years were coming near them to go upstairs, so he stopped. After they left, he spoke again. "Lily just told me she's not a lesbian!"

"What!" said Sirius. "I don't get it. Why did James think she was?" So, Remus told him what Lily had said. "Why didn't Lily correct him when he asked her about it?"

"No idea," said Remus. "It was obviously a misunderstanding. Perhaps she was mad at him for asking her that." Then they had to pause their conversation again, because some student was walking past them again.

"Why does Lily get mad at everything?" asked Sirius, annoyed.

"I know, but what should we do? Should we tell James?"

"Oh Godric!" said Sirius, realising.

"Yeah," said Remus, nodding. "It's fucked up."

"It is, but it's also ultimately his decision, so we should tell him," said Sirius. "Also, he'll find out in some way or the other anyway."

"But just listen to this," said Remus. "When I heard what Lily said, I told her I needed to find you, and you know what she asked me? She asked me if this was about Salima."

"What?" asked Sirius, not getting it at all. But Remus couldn't explain, because Buach and Pratap were walking past just then.

"Alright, guys? Coco?" said Pratap.

"Hi," said Remus and Sirius. Coco was busy trying to wriggle out of Remus' hand.

"When they left, Sirius turned to Remus again. "This is not a good place to talk," he said. "Anyway, what were you saying?"

"When Lily told me the truth, I wanted to find you and discuss it with you, but she seemed to guess it. She asked me if it was about Salima. Which it is, right?" said Remus.

"So?"

" _So_ , the only reason she'd be interested to know if it was about Salima, is if she likes James!" said Remus. "Ouch! Coco, please don't bite me."

He had expected Sirius to be extremely shocked or at least surprised to hear that, but Sirius just stared at him contemplatively for a few moments. "Yeah, I did think that too. Which is why I didn't believe them at first, when they said she was gay," he said.

"You knew?!" asked Remus. "How did you know?"

"Remember that night you had to do your astronomy project with Sylvia? And James and I went down to the Kitchens to get snacks for you," said Sirius.

"You didn't go down to get snacks for me, you went down to prank Flitwick!" said Remus.

"Yeah, but we did get snacks for you too."

"Fine."

"So we pranked him, but remember we saw that little girl crying," said Sirius.

"Yeah, and Salima came over," said Remus.

"Yes, but before that, while James was consoling that little girl, I was under the Invisibility cloak, and I decided to come back to the Tower, so I turned the corner, but who do I find, standing there? None other than Lily!" he said.

"Lily? What was she doing there?"

"She was secretly watching James comfort the little girl," said Sirius, grinning. "She was smiling to herself."

"Oh my God," said Remus.

"I know," said Sirius, chuckling. "She likes him."

"Oh my God!" said Remus loudly, and some people looked up at them. Sirius shushed him, opened the door to the boys' staircases and pulled him in.

Marlene and Mary looked at each other and laughed. "The Marauders," said Mary. "Always discussing something sensational."

"Yeah!"

When Sirius and Remus entered the boys' staircases, they came face to face with Frank. Sirius immediately let go of Remus' hand. "Oh hey Frank."

"Hey guys," said Frank and walked past them out the door.

"Why did you let James ask out Salima then?" asked Remus.

"Because! If Lily did like him, she should have told him by now. But obviously, she hasn't, and there can only be two reasons for that."

"What are those?"

"Number one, because she doesn't know it yet," said Sirius.

"Lily doesn't know she likes James?" asked Remus.

"No, she doesn't," said Sirius."Or, number two, she's too full of ego to tell him. In which case, she doesn't deserve him at all, and he's better off with Salima."

"I hope not..."

"What do you mean you hope not? You want James and Lily to end up together?" Sirius asked him.

"Well... yeah. Don't you?"

Sirius didn't reply, he just looked down at his palms.

"What is it?" Remus asked him.

"I don't trust her."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I know she's your best friend, and I don't want to say anything bad about her, but you know their history," said Sirius. "What if we told James that she likes him now and they start going out, but then for some petty reason, she dumps him, _breaking his heart_. What then? How will he recover? It will be the _end_ of him."

"What do you suggest we do?" asked Remus.

"We tell him that Lily's not gay, but that's it," said Sirius. "Not anything else. He's happy with Salima now."

"Yeah, he is," said Remus, smiling.

"Yeah, so let him be."

When they went back to the dorm, Peter and James grinned at them. "Done snogging so soon?" asked James.

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other nervously.


	86. Ornamental Beard-ties

"Merlin's saggy left testicle!" said James to Salima, as he walked out of the classroom with sixty other people. "I didn't know a person could talk for _three hours_ about one Charm!"

It had only been two hours, but nevertheless, James was offended. The sixth and seventh years had spent the two hours listening to Robert Holloway, one of the delegates, talk about the mechanism and history of the _Patronus Charm_.

Salima laughed. "I didn't care about that," she said, taking his hand. "I enjoyed sitting next to you and your friends."

James smiled. "Yeah, they're hilarious. They're also arseholes-"

"James!"

"Cos they're walking right behind us, eavesdropping on our every word," said James, turning around and pushing a chortling Sirius away. "Fuck you trilobites! Get lost!"

"Are you going to be sitting at the Slytherin table for lunch? We don't mind, but we think Snivellus might," said Peter, and the three of them laughed again.

Salima turned to James and smiled again. "I'll see you in the evening, babe," she said, and kissed his cheek and walked away. James stood there, touching the place where she'd kissed him.

Peter and Remus laughed at his reaction, while Sirius said, "Come on babe," and put his hands on James' shoulders and directed him into the Great Hall.

"You know what I'm thinking?" said Remus. "If he's acting like this just for a kiss on the cheek, then that means..."

"They haven't snogged yet!" said Peter, and the three of them laughed again.

"Remus, you think too much, it's not good for your health," said James, sitting down next to a third year girl. The girl blushed and moved away a little, but he hardly noticed it.

"I'm aware of that, James," said Remus, smiling and sitting down next to him. "But it's a chronic addiction, I can't help it!"

The other two laughed at that. "Hey Pete, he says he's aware. You know, like a-were?" said Sirius and they laughed again.

"One good thing about this ball that's coming up, is that all the delegates will be gone after it," said James, ignoring his sniggering friends.

"Oh really? Is that the only good thing about it?" asked Remus.

"Well, no. One of the good things, then," said James, grinning at last.

"I don't get you, I love these lectures," said Remus. "I'd love to be able to talk about a single topic for two hours like him! It's incredible."

Sirius frowned at him. "Why am I with you?" he questioned.

"Now that's what's really incredible, that you're in love with that nerd," said Peter in a low voice, and he and Sirius high-fived and laughed again.

Remus nodded. "Is that so, Padfoot?" he asked menacingly. "I'll remind you of this next time you want my help with homework."

"No, we were just joking, Moony," said Sirius hurriedly.

"But I'm not joking at all."

"Ha Ha," said James to Sirius, while his mouth was stuffed with mashed potato.

Sirius turned to him. "Oh yeah? Have you asked Salima to the ball yet?"

James' eyes widened and he struggled to quickly swallow the mashed potato. He then dropped the spoon with feeling. "I have to ask her?!"

"Look at this bloke!" said Sirius, gesturing at him. "Yes, you do!"

"But she's already my girlfriend!"

"Doesn't matter, it's just a nice formality," said Remus. "Relax."

"And please kiss her when she says yes. Do it as a favor to the rest of us," said Peter, reminding James yet again, that he was the only one amongst their group who hadn't even kissed a girl yet.

"I'll do it today," said James, with determination and picked up his spoon again.

Remus glanced at him as he cut his chicken. James had taken the news of Lily's 'straight-ness' well enough. Or rather it had appeared so. When Remus had silently mentioned it to him a couple of nights ago, both Peter' and James' mouths had hung open for a few moments. When Remus explained the whole thing, they watched as James collected himself and slowly put his hand to his forehead. But then he quickly removed it.  
"Look... whatever, okay? Whatever," he had said. "I'm with Salima now, I don't want to think about anyone else," he had said, and they had immediately agreed with him.  
"Yeah."  
"Absolutely."  
"Makes total sense."  
"Salima's the best!"  
But they hadn't been able to gauge his reaction at all, he seemed like he was wearing a mask. Sirius had later commented to Remus, that perhaps James hadn't been able to process the information yet, and that he needed more time.

Remus looked around at his friends now as they ate, and he realised that James probably thought it didn't matter if Lily was straight or gay, because she wouldn't want to be with him either way. Perhaps Sirius and Peter knew this and that was why they were pushing for more intimacy with Salima. But James didn't know the staggeringly ambiguous secret about Lily that Sirius and Remus were keeping from him. Remus didn't even know if it was the right thing to do, but James was Sirius' best friend, and Sirius understood him more. So, he'd have to trust Sirius and listen to him on this one.

Later that evening, when Salima and him were in the library to study, he somehow lured her into a lonely Potions aisle on the pretext of looking for a reference book. "I don't think it's here," Salima said, scanning the top shelf. "Come to think of it, Slughorn never recommended any such book to us last year."

James smiled. "I'm not actually looking for any book, Ima," he said, and she looked at him.

Salima was not at all good at flirting. "What then, are we doing in this aisle? What are you looking for? " she asked, her voice sounding cross rather than flirtatious.

But James didn't mind at all. "For your answer. I was er- wondering if you will ball to the go with me?" he blurted out. "Wait, what the heck did I just say?! Go ball with the me? _Go to the ball with me_! Oh, don't make me say it again, please!"

Salima laughed. James loved her laugh, she laughed so freely and openly. "Of course I'll go to the ball with you!" she said, and hugged him. And when they broke apart, they stared at each other for a long time.

Then suddenly, James gasped for air.

"Oh, what happened?!" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing, I'd just forgotten to breathe," he admitted, making her chuckle again. "You are just so beautiful!"

She smiled at him and leaned forward, and they finally kissed.

Remus Lupin had a wicked cold. It was rare for werewolves to get viral infections like colds, but it did happen sometimes. He was completely frazzled, but jittery at the same time, and panted as he dragged himself up some stairs to finish his Prefect rounds. Remus thought he knew the whole school really well by now, he'd lived here for six years, and had explored most of it with his friends.  
But this staircase. This particular staircase, he forgot every time that this staircase always lead to the North Tower on Fridays. You climbed onto the staircase in main school, but when you stepped off it at the top, you wouldn't be in the sixth floor as you'd expect, you'd somehow end up in the middle of the North Tower.  
 _This dumb staircase! Why do I always forget?! This has got to be the dozenth time this has happened! AAARGH! And d_ _amn these stairs. Seems like they're all the castle is made of. Stairs after stairs after stairs!  
_ Then he couldn't climb anymore. He lowered himself onto the steps awkwardly and sat down, breathing heavily. _Need to take it slow...  
_ He then slowly got to his feet and reached the next landing. He carefully walked along the corridor and spotted Sir Cadogan and his pony trotting in his direction through another painting, so he swiftly turned right along a long corridor and pressed against a depression on the wall. The stone wall slid aside to reveal a secret room. He slipped inside and shut the door. The room had been a classroom, evidently a long time ago, since it had these ancient wrought iron benches instead of the wooden school benches they had these days. He walked to the back of the classroom and lay down on a bench. Sleep came rapidly.

Remus didn't know how long he'd been asleep for, or even if he was actually awake or not. All he knew was that the air now smelt of blackcurrants and cigarettes. Remus smiled, recognising the scent. He inhaled, and his sensitive nose also picked up the sweetish outdoorsy smell of mossy tree trunks and damp wood. Remus sniffed again.  
 _Wait… that's obviously not natural scent in a tower this high._ _She's not alone.  
_ Then Remus heard soft moaning sounds. _What…_

"Tell me what you want," he heard someone say.

"I want you to fill me, Black…" he heard the girl say breathlessly.

The wolf's curiosity piqued, an instinct to investigate surged through him and he relented, opening his eyes and sitting up. Through his blurry eyes, he was a girl sitting on the edge of the teacher's desk. Her skirt had ridden up almost completely, and she had one thigh on the shoulder of a someone who was evidently performing oral sex on her. Remus blinked again, and his eyes cleared. The guy's face moved into his line of vision and he screamed.

Dorcas Meadowes and Regulus Black jolted apart, yelping in shock.

"Remus! Oh, Godric! _Oh no_!" Dorcas panicked, smoothing her skirt down.

" _Godric_?" Regulus said, perplexed.

"Yes, that's what Gryffindors say, Regulus!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I was sleeping," Remus explained frantically.

"Why were you sleeping here, you creep?!" Regulus demanded.

"It's unfortunately a habit of mine… sleeping in classrooms," he told them calmly.

"But why are you in this particular classroom?" she asked suspiciously.

"I was making rounds, and I saw Sir Cadogan in that painting of the three Flamenco-dancing fairies, and I decided to come in here before he could order to have me clapped in irons… and then I fell asleep," he told her truthfully.

"Remus…" Dorcas began, and he knew what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry, I- I thought he was Sirius, that's why I- yelled-"

Dorcas folded her hands angrily.

"Your side profiles are identical!" Remus said to Regulus.

"Do you boys think I have no other job, other than shagging your lovers? First Sirius thinks I'm shagging you, then everyone thinks I'm shagging Diggory, then James thinks I'm shagging Lily, now I'm shagging Sirius?!"

"Lily?" asked Regulus.

"It was a _misunderstanding_!" Dorcas said, getting angrier.

"Alright! My apologies," said Regulus hurriedly.

Dorcas and Regulus stared at him nervously as he walked up to them. "Relax," he told them.

"So, you're not going to tell anyone, right?" said Dorcas, quickly.

Remus glanced at Regulus, who looked haughty. "Surely, you won't mind if I tell Sirius?" he said to them.

"It's none of his business!" Regulus said immediately. Remus huffed exasperatedly. "Dorcas doesn't want anyone to know."

"I'm sure you can imagine his reaction if he found out that I knew and didn't tell him?" Remus said to both of them.

"He's a big baby," he said to Remus, who smiled, despite himself.

"Regulus, it's fine… Sirius is fine," Dorcas said, gently putting her arm on his.

"Wow, so you guys are the real thing, huh?" he said, grinning. "Enemies in love, a regular Romeo and Juliet… very angsty, I like it."

"I'm sorry, are _you_ calling _us_ angsty? What about you and Sirius? The word 'angst' has been invented for you two," Dorcas replied.

"Dramatic, maybe, not angsty," Remus said, grinning.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Dramatic is right."

After a few moments of awkward silence, Remus said, "I guess I should probably go now…" and walked towards the door, which was pretending to be a wall.

"Who do you think you are?" Regulus asked meanly, and Remus turned around. Dorcas looked at him curiously. "What makes you think you deserve Sirius?"

Remus was surprised at the protectiveness. The question really attested the fact that Sirius and Regulus really loved each other, despite their disagreements. "I think you should ask Sirius that question," Remus told him.

Regulus narrowed his eyes. "Why Sirius?" he then asked. Remus understood what he meant. _Why did you choose Sirius?  
_ "He remembers the smallest details about people, their simplest likes and dislikes. His presence makes you feel like there are twenty people in the room, not one. Twenty people who love you and are happy to see you. He was the one who first accepted me-"

"-without judging you," Regulus finished for him.

Remus stared at his face, it was sad. "Yes," he said. He waited for Regulus to say something else, but he didn't. So, he nodded at them and left. It was quite late by the time Remus finished his rounds and got back to the Marauders' dorm, and he found them all fast asleep. _Perfect.  
_ He slowly crept to James's bed and pushed the curtains back slightly. "Prongs, mate! Prongsy," he shook his friend. James stirred and Remus grinned. _It's so easy to wake James up._

"I know you're horny... if you want a shag, you've got the wrong bed, my friend," James murmured, grinning.

Remus chuckled. Then he stopped chuckling and shook his head. _Unimportant now._ "Need to talk to you," he whispered.

"About what?" asked James, reaching for his wand and glasses.

"Come down to the Common room," Remus said, and the two climbed down the stairs soundlessly.

"What is it?" asked James, sitting down cross legged on a couch.

"I just saw Regulus... James, do you ever get the feeling that Regulus has stepped into Sirius' shoes for his family's sake?" asked Remus, warming his hands over the dying remains of the Common room fire.

"Huh?"

"I mean he took his place as heir so that it would keep the focus off of Sirius? So, Sirius can go and live his life?"

"Yes," said James. "For the longest time, whenever Regulus was mentioned, I'd be angry at him for abandoning Sirius. But really, he didn't."

"Do you think Sirius realises that?"

"Yeah, sometimes when he talks about Regulus, I feel like he knows," said James. "I can't even imagine someone being so selfless," he said, after a while. "How does he do it? I didn't know such love could exist…"

Remus smiled. "Maybe we'll only fully understand it when we have children, one day," he said. "Cos neither of us have siblings, right?"

"Hmm…" said James, nodding. Then they heard someone coming down the stairs and turned to see. It was Sirius. "But I do have a sibling," he whispered as they watched Sirius wave at them as he walked over. "Sirius is worth the sacrifice. He's worth any sacrifice." They smiled at each other.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, jumping onto the couch beside James.

"Pads, I was making rounds today, and I ended up in the North Tower because of that damn staircase again."

"Ugh, that route's horrendous!" Sirius exclaimed. "Aren't you tired, though? Your voice sounds like your cold's gotten a lot worse."

"Yeah, how are you still awake?" James asked him.

"I'm awake only because I was _traumatised_ by something I saw up there," Remus replied, kneeling and warming his face.

"What did you see?" asked James.

"Someone having sex, obviously… was it someone we know?" asked Sirius happily, and Remus nodded with dramatic joylessness.

Sirius chuckled. "Was it Filch and Pince?"

"That's vile," said James, shuddering at the thought. Remus shook his head.

"Sprout and Slughorn," James said, he shook his head again.

"Kettleburn and Poppy," Sirius said, earning noises of disgust from his two friends. He chortled.

"Eww! Poppy would never! She's so young and… normal!" said James.

"Fine! Sinistra and the Arse," said Sirius.

James and Remus looked at each other. "You know, I do see the potential in that relationship," said James.

"She talked about him in a nice way the other day in class," Remus said and James nodded.

"They have chemistry... they always sit together at the staff table," said James. Remus smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Was it them?" asked Sirius, confused.

"No, Padfoot."

"Dumbledore and McGonagall," said James.

Remus and Sirius looked at him incredulously. "Mate…" said Sirius.

"What?" James asked them.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. "Erm, I always thought Dumbledore was gay," he said.

"He's not!" James exclaimed.

"He _is_!" Sirius maintained.

"You gay people are always like this, you just want everyone to be gay," said James casually.

Sirius's jaw dropped. "That's not true!"

"It is. Even Volkov is like this," said James, grinning.

"Er... James, that's a slightly inappropriate thing to say," said Remus.

"Why? It's true, isn't it?" said James.

"No. I don't think everyone is gay," said Sirius. "I don't think Slughorn and Kettleburn are gay."

"Okay, fine. Why are you assuming Dumbledore is?" asked James, and they realised he was genuinely curious. They grinned at each other. Sometimes they forgot that James was so open and innocently honest.

"His robes should give you a clue," Sirius told him.

"I just thought he was eccentric," James said.

"Prongs, he wears ornamental beard ties… which match his outfit everyday," said Sirius.

"Well, sometimes when you look at people, you get this feeling, you know they're gay. And he's one of them," Remus explained.

"Oh," said James. _Ugh, why the hell am I so clueless all the time?_

"Also, I think Freddie Mercury is gay too," said Sirius.

"Aha! See! That's what I meant! You do want everyone to be gay!" said James, pointing at Remus, who chuckled.

"James, what is this 'wanting everyone to be gay'? That doesn't make sense," he asked.

"Yeah, it's like you saying you want everyone to be straight," said Sirius, and James grimaced.

"See, it doesn't make sense. I hope you didn't say that to Volkov," Remus told him, grinning.

James looked sheepish, and Sirius and Remus laughed.

"Wait, we still don't know who you saw shagging though," said Sirius and Remus nodded.

"It's not the professors! You two have no brain. Why would the professors be shagging in random classrooms like a couple of lovesick students, when they have their own personal quarters?" he said, as if he and Sirius weren't those lovesick students who regularly did it in random classrooms. James smirked at him.

"Oh yeah…" said Sirius.

"That's not a clue, though. There are about 500 students at this school," James said.

"Gryffindor and Slytherin," said Remus, grinning wildly.

"Lily and Snivellus?!" asked James, horrified.

"No! Neither were there," said Remus quickly, although he found it interesting that James' mind immediately went there. The other two sighed in relief, James clutching his chest.

"Whoa. Gryffindor and a Slytherin?" said Sirius. "I like it, though."

Remus chuckled to himself. _I wonder if you'll like it when you find out._

Then they started guessing. "Marlene?"

"No."

"Mary?"

"No."

"Alice?!"

"No."

"Frank?!"

"No!"

"Jones?"

Remus shook his head.

"Robbie."

"No."

"Gomez?"

"Female."

"Dorcas," said James, without real conviction. Remus smirked.

" _Dorcas?!_ " yelped Sirius. Remus nodded.

"You saw Dorcas shagging someone from Slytherin?! That's impossible," said James.

"Believe it, mate. It happened."

"That's crazy, why would she…" Sirius's voice trailed away as he remembered his conversation with Remus about Regulus being a spy. _Could it be Reggie?! Nah...no way..._

"Gladstone?" asked James, she was first in a short list of decent Slytherins he could think about.

"Nope."

"Altham?"

"No."

"Flint?"

"Flint graduated last year, James."

"Oh, yeah..."

"Kennedy."

"No."

"Travers?!"

"No."

"Macmillan?"

"Macmillan's in Hufflepuff, you idiot! Also, it was a guy."

"Who was it, then? I can't imagine her sleeping with a death eater…" said James, really bewildered.

Remus had a small smile playing on his lips, and when his eyes flicked towards Sirius, he knew. "Regulus," said Sirius with certainty.

Remus nodded and burst out laughing.

"What! What the hell?! Reg-" James was saying loudly.

" _Shshshshsh_!" said Sirius.

"Sorry," said James in a low voice. _He literally just told me he saw him… I really am a clueless idiot!_ "Isn't this crazy, though?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius glanced at Remus. "It sure is."

"Wait, they were shagging? Did you walk in on them?" asked James.

"Well, I fell asleep in that prehistoric classroom and woke up to them…" he said, implying the obvious.

"To them shagging? Were they... like actually fucking?" asked Sirius.

"You don't want to know," said Remus uncomfortably, remembering the state of Regulus's swollen lips and feeling somewhat nauseous.

"I want to know! He's my brother."

"But that's what will make it-" Remus began.

"You always say, 'you don't wanna know,' but we do. How will I learn the ways of the world if you guys won't tell me anything?" asked James, pouting. "That's one of the reasons I was fumbling the other day when Marlene mentioned her period… I mean I don't have _any_ sisters or female friends like you two... how was I supposed to react?"

"What's your point?" asked Sirius.

"Just tell us," James said, shrugging.

"Fine. I woke up to see Regulus performing cunnilingus on-"

"Oh, Sweet Salazar!" Sirius said loudly, covering his ears.

"His _baby_ brother!" said James emphatically.

"Baby Reggie!" wailed Sirius.

"Not so baby anymore," said Remus, giggling at their reactions.

"No...no…" said Sirius, dramatically rising from the couch. "What will mother say?"

Remus laughed. "He said you'd act like this, when I told him I'd tell you. He called _you_ a big baby," Remus told him.

Sirius crossed his arms and sat back down on the couch, pouting.

"Isn't he like fourteen, though?" asked James.

"Fifteen," Sirius corrected him immediately. Then, "Oh Merlin, I just imagined it. I'm traumatised now."

" _You're_ traumatised? I'm the one traumatised! I actually saw his tongue-" said Remus and gestured with his fingers.

"Darling, have mercy on my soul," Sirius begged, making Remus smile at the use of the pet name. "What else? Did he say anything else?"

"Well he did wonder why you chose me, so I reckon you have to explain that to him yourself," said Remus. "Also, Um… they looked quite close... I mean they aren't just shagging, they're together," Remus said, turning to warm his hands in the fire again.

Sirius grinned. "This makes her your sister-in-law."

"None of you are married," James pointed out.

"It's implied," Sirius said. Remus smiled to himself, without turning around.

James and Sirius looked at each other. "Er, isn't it?" asked Sirius awkwardly, when Remus said nothing.

Remus smiled again and walked over to him and warmed Sirius's cold ears with his fire-warmed hands. "Yeah."

"Is that all you're going to say?" asked Sirius.

"What else should I say?" asked Remus.

"Say anything, Moony."

Remus smiled. "Okay, I'll tell you something. Do you remember Easter holidays, third year?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, grinning. "What a week we spent, gorging on those chocolate cupcakes your mum sent us!"

"Peter's probably still sore you guys didn't save us any!" said James and they chuckled.

"On the last night of the holidays, I remember you telling me that you had a blast, that it was one of the best Easters of your life," said Remus, and Sirius grinned.

"It was!"

"You know, you three would always tell me how fun I was and what great ideas I came up with… I did appreciate it, but I don't think I believed it a hundred percent," Remus continued. "I mean, as you know, it's so hard for me to change my mind about things, especially about myself. I don't know how you did it, but when you said it then, I believed it. I actually felt like you were telling the truth."

As he was saying this, the girls' dormitory door opened, and Remus reluctantly let go of Sirius. Some seventh-year girls were coming down the stairs to revise. Eva Barclay and Adelaide Fulton were amongst them, they winked at James.

"You made me feel like I was enough, Sirius," Remus said, picking his jumper off the floor, "I saw you differently that day."

James knew that if they were alone, Sirius would have jumped on Remus and kissed him. Then he felt a bit bad. _Salima and I never have to stop ourselves like this._ _But these two have to hide everything. Gosh it must be so difficult._

Sirius simply smiled, conveying a hundred things through it.

"Well, that was _extremely_ corny," teased James.

Remus felt himself blush and the other two sniggered. "See, this is why I never say anything," Remus said, pretending to be offended. and they chuckled again.

"Cunnilingus," he said, and laughed at the other two as they collapsed with disgust.

* * *

 **Author's note: It's what I feel when I see all these memes on Instagram saying, why would hot, three piece suit-wearing Jude Law Dumbledore be lusting after the Coleslaw-head Johnny Depp Grindelwald? But if you really think about it, Albus Dumbledore is the most eccentric man you'd ever meet, of course his choice of lovers would be as eccentric and unconventional. If you're still in doubt, remember the beard-ties.**


	87. Bond Villain

James frowned as he read the letter he'd received.

"James, is everything alright?" Peter asked, his mouth full of bacon. A bit of bacon flew out and landed on Sirius' hand.

"How odious you are, Wormtail," said Sirius, wiping his hand on Peter's shoulder.

Peter swallowed quickly. "Sorry, sorry!"

Someone giggled nearby, and they turned to look. It was Lily. "Something you find funny, Lily?" asked Sirius.

"Well, it's just the way you said it… very posh, just like-" she stopped herself. She had been about to say, 'just like your brother'.

"Well, yes… but this letter… Sirius read this," James said, letting the letter fall on the table.

Lily sighed in relief, that they didn't think it odd. But she couldn't help feeling a tiny bit bad that they had ignored her like that.

Sirius caught the letter and read it. "What about it? You're sad cos they cancelled the New Years' party?" he asked, sniggering. "What a spoilt brat you are." Remus and Peter chuckled.

"It's not that, mate. Look at the reason they gave," said James, pointing at the letter.

"Yeah, they're going to Poland, what about it?" asked Sirius. "Did you want to go as well? You'd miss the Ball if you went."

"Well, I'd rather stay at Hogwarts than be surrounded by a group of tiny screaming humans, but look," said James, snatching the letter back. " _I'm sure you'll enjoy Christmas at Hogwarts_... they literally haven't invited me!"

"So?" asked Remus.

"No, you guys don't get it. It feels fake," said James, holding the letter's corner as if it was a filthy rag.

The other two grinned, but Sirius took it and read it again. "If you feel like it's fake, then they're clearly hiding something," he declared.

"Hiding something?" asked Remus, taking the letter and reading it as well. But he didn't find anything odd about it. "Well, I really can't tell."

"That's cos you don't know the Potters like I do," said Sirius proudly. James grinned. "Either they're not going to Poland, or they're not going to Danielle's house," said Sirius.

"As in, they're going to Albert's house?" asked James, confused.

"No, you idiot. They might have some other business in Poland, which they don't want you to know about," said Sirius.

James looked a little worried. "What do you think it might be?" he asked.

Peter shrugged. "No use worrying about it. I'm sure you'll find out in due time." Sirius and James both glanced at Peter and nodded, wondering when he had become such a wise old owl.

A couple of days later, the winter holidays started, but the castle wasn't as empty as the other times. The younger students had all been encouraged to go home, and almost all of them were gone, except those who were unable to. All the NEWT students stayed back for the ball.  
On the first day of the holidays, the Marauders and a few other students had been playing in the grounds, throwing snowballs at each other, when Sirius and James had decided to make Hagrid's cabin an ambush zone.  
But then things happened, and Remus ended up leading a bleeding Sirius to the Hospital Wing. "This is what happens when you keep making bad decisions, Padfoot," he admonished. Behind them, Peter was hurrying along, silently freaking out, and James was feeling a bit dizzy and nauseous.

"I slipped and fell by accident, Moony. I didn't do it on _purpose_!" said indignantly, wincing as his temple throbbed.

"When you fell, you also crashed into the wooden wall of the cabin, and caused these huge icicles to fall down all around you! Imagine if one of them had impaled you?!" Remus said.

"You have to maintain situational awareness when dealing with ice, Mr. Black," said Professor Flitwick, who was walking with them. "Games can turn deadly very easily."

"That's true professor, one time I saw a thestral fall through the ice in the pond by the fir trees," said Hagrid. "Tried my best to save it, but it'd gotten cut too badly by the ice!"

"How unfortunate, Hagrid!" said Flitwick.

"Oh alright, next time I fall and crack my head open, I'll make sure it's not under a row of icicles! Happy?!" said Sirius.

"Very funny, Sirius," said Remus.

Madam Pomfrey had been treating a couple of Hufflepuff seventh years who had colds. She turned around when she heard the doors swing open and everyone walk in. "Oh my goodness! What happened?"

"Sirius being careless as usual," said Remus.

"He slipped and hit his head on a rock outside Hagrid's hut," Peter told her, as she made Sirius sit down on a bed.

"Oh my poor boy," said Madam Pomfrey. "Wait here, I'll be back in a moment!" And she went inside to get first-aid things. She brought out towels and started mopping up the blood around the wound.

"Why not just vanish the blood, Madam?" asked Peter.

"Vanishing blood is not recommended for deep cuts," she said, tilting Sirius' head and showing him the gash. Then they all heard a loud thud and turned around.

"Oh no, James!" said Peter, running up to James, who lay unconscious on the floor. "He's fainted, Madam Pomfrey!"

Sirius tried to stand in concern, but Madam Pomfrey pushed him back down. "Oh dear, looks like he has vasovagal syncope," she informed them. "It's alright, he'll come to, soon." Then she applied Essence of Dittany to Sirius' temple and the wound slowly healed.

James stirred, and opened his eyes. "Why am I on the floor?" he asked.

Peter laughed. "You fainted, mate!" he told him. Hagrid easily raised him into a standing position using the front of his robes.

"Thanks Hagrid," said James.

"No problem, James," said Hagrid.

"Okay Hagrid, come on, we still have loads to do for the upcoming celebration," said Flitwick, and they both left.

As they left, Madam Pomfrey noticed the muddy, watery footprints everyone had left, and disapprovingly vanished it all. "Still feeling faint?" she asked James, as she then vanished the rest of Sirius' blood on his face.

"No, I'm good," he replied.

"Okay, drink a goblet of water," she told him, pointing at the jug. "And what about you? How do you feel?" she asked Sirius.

"My head _hurts_!" he told her weakly, holding his head.

"Hmm yes, that is normal, the pain tends to linger for a while, why don't you boys go down and get something to eat? It's lunch time," she said.

"But it hurts really badly," he moaned.

"I'm not giving you unnecessary potions, you can go," she told him sternly. "And they call _us_ the hysterical sex!" she muttered under her breath.

"So, what is vasovagal syncope, exactly?" Remus asked her.

"Some people, when they see blood or hear bad news, their blood pressure suddenly drops, and they lose consciousness," she explained.

"Like those sensitive young ladies in novels," said Sirius, and both he and Peter chuckled at him.

"This is not a thing to joke about!" Poppy scolded him.

"Yeah!" agreed James.

"Wow, imagine if I had vasovagal syncope," said Remus, and he and Poppy exchanged meaningful looks.

"That would be an unfortunate thing indeed," she said, and he chuckled.

The two Ravenclaw girls finished their Pepper-up potions. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," said one girl. "See you later?"

"Yes, at ten," Poppy said to them.

"Why are you seeing them at ten?" asked Sirius curiously.

"That is between me and my patients, Mr. Black," said Poppy. "Now you may go."

"Thanks for fixing me up," he told her, and they walked down for lunch.

"Does it hurt if I touch it?" asked James, prodding Sirius' forehead.

"Ouch! James, yes, it does!" said Sirius.

"This would never have happened if you were more careful," said Remus. "Not just in this, but in most things. You are too reckless and you never think at all before acting!"

"I think!" said Sirius.

"Oh really? Then tell me what you thought when you decided to bring a swarm of bees into the Great Hall the other day?!" Remus demanded to know.

"Those were Kolobian wasps! They don't have stings!" said Sirius.

"They are attracted to human sweat, you scared the heck out of everybody that day!" said Remus.

"No one got hurt!"

"Nevertheless, I think you need to re-evaluate your attitude and your decision-making skills. You need to think properly, _use_ that big brain of yours every once in a while," said Remus.

"Stop saying I don't think! I can think!" said Sirius crossly. "You're being so hurtful!"

"Oh, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, Padfoot!" said Remus sarcastically.

"You're not really sorry!"

"I am," said Remus, trying hard not to roll his eyes.

"Normal people, when they're sorry, they actually act sorry," Sirius informed him. "You look like Narcissa when she's refused an ice cream."

"Does Narcissa like ice cream a lot?" asked James.

"She loves it, strawberry's her favourite," said Sirius.

"Instead of telling me to be more sorry, you could argue with me," said Remus. "And try and prove me wrong."

Sirius looked at him like he really wanted to argue, but he couldn't think of anything to say. He sighed. "This does not mean, you've won."

"Sure," said Remus, nodding. Peter and James smiled.

"Really."

"Okay."

James!" said someone and they turned around. Salima was walking swiftly towards them.

"Hi," said James, smiling.

"Hi. Hi boys." she said.

"Hey Salima," said the other three.

"Are you okay?" she asked James, feeling his forehead. "Patricia told me you'd fainted."

"I'm absolutely fine," said James, putting his arms around her.

"Yeah, he fainted because he can't stand blood," said Peter, and the other two sniggered.

"Shut up, Pete!" said James angrily.

Salima laughed. "Come with me," she said, taking James' hand. "A bunch of us are having pizza in the Descartes classroom with some of the delegates."

"Er, alright," said James and the two of them walked away.

The other three laughed. "He looked constipated when she mentioned the delegates!" said Remus, as they walked down to the Great Hall for lunch. They laughed again.

"He did not want to go _at all_ ," said Peter.

When they entered the Great Hall, Peter spotted the girls. "Oh look, there's Marlene." They walked over and sat with the girls.

"Hi, hi," said Mary, grinning. "We heard what happened, are you alright?"

"How did you already hear what happened?" asked Sirius, amazed. "Your spy network is probably better than the Secret Service."

"Olive told me, she was out playing in the snow with you," said Mary, laughing.

"Wait, are you talking about Sirius hitting his head, or James fainting when he saw the blood?" asked Peter, and everyone laughed.

"Not so much the tough guy, is he?" said Marlene.

"Where is James anyway?" asked Alice.

"Hold up, before you answer that, please tell me who is this person in our midst?" asked Remus, gesturing at a girl with brown hair, sitting between Marlene and Lily.

"Oh, this is Tamara, Peter," said Marlene, with a meaningful look.

"Oh, hi Tamara. I'm Peter," said Peter, a little breathlessly.

The girl smiled. "Hi."

"Enchanté, Tamara," said Sirius, shaking her hand. "You are the cutest person I have ever met!"

The girl giggled. "Thank you," she replied.

"Hey I know you," said Remus. "You're that girl who got three hundred and sixteen percent on her Defence Against the Dark Arts final last year."

"Wow, really?" asked Peter.

"Er no, that was my twin sister, Rita," she said, pointing to the Ravenclaw table.

"Ah, okay," said Remus, nodding.

Everyone talked to Tamara about many things, everyone except Lily. She ate her steak-and-kidney pie silently. Even though no one answered Marlene when she asked after James, Lily could guess where he was. But that didn't matter at the moment, her mind was occupied by another matter. She'd been hanging out with Dorcas earlier, and she'd been telling Lily that Regulus had gone home for Christmas, and how much she was already missing him. And Lily thought about it. It was lucky on the day of the Quidditch party, that she hadn't ended up telling James about Regulus' situation. Because, in such a drunk state, there was no telling what he might have done. He might have accidentally blurted it out in front of Sirius, and that wouldn't have been good for anyone.  
Lily was inspired by Regulus. Even though the Black brothers weren't the world's most ideal siblings, she could guess how much affection existed between them for Regulus to have done something like that. So, she decided that if he could make such a big sacrifice for his brother, Lily could _write a letter_ to her sister. She could do that much.  
So after lunch, she went up to the Common room, sat down at a corner table, and wrote a long, honest letter to Petunia, telling her everything. Then she went up to the Owlery and sent the letter off, along with a Christmas card and a few chocolates she'd bought in Honeydukes.

Over the next week, James spent almost all his waking time with Salima. And Peter would go and hang out with Marlene and Tamara, often leaving the other two to their own devices. They realised that they'd probably made him feel like a third wheel, not that they were complaining, or feeling guilty. This gave them ample opportunity to do various things in many places in the castle. And one such place was the Prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor.  
The mood in the bathroom was what you could only call steamy. It was dimly lit, and the pool was filled with warm water, and thick fumes of water vapour were rising from it, making visibility almost an issue. Almost. It didn't prevent Remus from leaning back on one side of the pool and admiring his boyfriend's body as he swam laps in the pool.

"This is fun," said Sirius, standing up straight and pushing his long black hair back with his fingers, looking even more sexy.

"Wow," Remus said to himself. _How is_ he _my boyfriend? This... this Greek God._

"Do you think I could come here even after school starts back?" Sirius asked him, walking over. "I know I'm not a Prefect, but swimming in the warm water is quite different to swimming in cold water. The water is massaging all the muscles in my body, relaxing them."

Every word he was saying seemed to turn Remus on even more, especially 'massaging' and 'muscles in my body'. "Yeah," he said, nodding.

"Yeah? Great," said Sirius, grinning.

"Yeah, but I can think of other things we could do in the warm water," said Remus with a smile. The beautiful Siren in the stained glass window smiled to herself as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"Looks like you already have a plan," said Sirius. Remus beckoned to him to come closer. Sirius took a step and felt something touch his stomach. "Oh hello, what have we here?"

"That's my plan," said Remus.

"I like it already," said Sirius, grinning and gripping it with his hand.

Dumbledore had called for a meeting with the Heads of the Houses and the Head girl and Boy. Dorcas had insisted that Lily attend it along with her, so she did. And by the time they were done, it was a little late. Dorcas was exhausted, and as soon as they stepped through the Portrait hole, she turned to Lily, and said, "I'm off to bed, Lily. Goodnight!"

"Sleep tight," said Lily and watched Dorcas walk up the stairs. Then she looked around, the Common room was almost empty, except for a couple of tables in the far end of the room where some seventh years were sitting. Lily didn't think she could handle talking to seventh years again. _Bronte,Towler and Fulton, please no._  
Then she spotted James sitting alone on a couch by the fire, staring into it pensively, the firelight reflecting in his glasses. She walked over to him and sat down on his couch.

He looked around to see who it was, and was a little taken aback. "Hey Lily," he said, a little awkwardly, since this was the first time they were properly speaking, after that weird fight. Then he grinned at her, and it caused her heart to warm.

She smiled back automatically. "Hey."

"Done with your rounds?" he asked her.

"Nope, no rounds for us Prefects over the holidays," she said happily.

"That's a relief!" said James.

"Yeah, Dorcas and Williams figured, the sixth and seventh years would be able to take care of themselves," she said, grinning.

"Oh, they can do that, alright," said James, and they both laughed.

"If you put it that way, it seems like they're the ones who need to be disciplined the most," she said, and they laughed again.

"Well, if you didn't have rounds, what were you doing?" he asked.

"I was just at a meeting," she said

"What kind of meeting?" he asked curiously. "Oh, am I allowed to ask?"

She chuckled. "Of course. It was with all the heads, Headmaster, Heads of houses, and Head girl and boy," she told him, smiling again.

"Prefect business?" he said.

"Yeah, just about school security during the Ball... amongst other things," she told him.

"What does Dumbledore say?"

"He says we will have junior Aurors for extra security, so that we don't have incidents like last year," she said. "And that will allow the teachers and Prefects to let their hair down for the night," she said.

He smiled again. "Yeah, wouldn't be fair on them to have the graveyard shift while the everybody else is having the time of their lives," he said, and she nodded.

"Ugh, I need to go to bed soon, I'm absolutely knackered," she then said, stretching and yawning.

Normally, James would've said something annoying, like 'Can I join you?', but he thought the better of it. He rested his head back on the couch and looked at her. Lily copied him.

"Where are your mates?" she asked. "I think this is literally the first time I've seen you on your own."

"Long story…" he said.

"I'm listening."

"Didn't you have to go to bed?" he reminded her.

Lily grinned. "I like stories."

James grinned too. "Well, it's my own fault, really," he said. "I'm always off hanging with Salima, so the others have found their own occupations. I think Sirius and Remus are somewhere in the castle, I have no idea. And Pete's upstairs, teaching Tamara and Marlene to play chess."

"Right," she said. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Hmm?"

"I saw you when I came over. You were thinking hard about something," she said.

He looked at her thoughtfully, and she knew he was considering whether to tell her or not. Then he decided he would. "People often say I'm really clueless," he said.

"Clueless in what?" she asked.

"In about everything," he said. "For example, Remus being a werewolf. I didn't even know until Sirius and Peter told me of their suspicions. They guessed. Even you guessed."

She nodded. "Yeah," she said.

"And about Sirius liking Remus, I had no clue about that until Sirius told me himself," he continued. "And so many other things that happen right in front of me, but I don't seem to notice."

Lily chuckled. "It's okay. It just means you're not a Bond villain," she said.

"But it happened today as well," he said. "Salima was talking about something that had apparently happened right in front of us, but I had no idea about it. She was pretty annoyed by it."

"Oh," said Lily. "Does it happen all the time?"

"Not sure," he said.

"Perhaps you have too many things on your mind at any particular time," she said. "And then what happens is, you have the capacity to focus only on one aspect of your immediate surroundings. And you end up missing a lot of other things.

"Hmm," he said. "You might be right, but I don't know if I'm like that or no."

"You know what could help figure it out? Maintaining a diary," she suggested.

"A diary?"

"Yeah. Don't think of it as something only girls do," she said. "Writing in a diary every night allows you to put all your thoughts of the day onto paper. And even your unprocessed thoughts get sort of processed while you try and put them into words. It helps."

"That sounds like a good idea," he said. "Thanks Lily, I'll try it. I'll buy a diary for the new year."

"Good plan," she said.

"Oh, by the way, did you notice how I didn't ask you what a Bond villain was? It's cos I know what that means," he said proudly. "Salima and I watched a James bond picture over the summer."

"Oh yeah? Which one?"

" _On her Majesty's Secret Service_ ," he told her and grinned.

"Ooh I love that one, did you like it?" she asked him.

"Absolutely!" he said.

"Which part's your favourite? Mine was the chase on the skis, that must have been really hard to film," she said excitedly.

"Yeah, I loved that. I think mine was the muggle dueling between Tracy and that bloke on Piz Gloria," he said. "But the whole time I was watching it, I kept thinking how much Sirius would enjoy it, but he was sleeping out on the deck that night."

Lily laughed.

"Lily, can I ask you something?" he said, after a while.

"Sure." At that point, if he'd asked her out, she'd have said yes, but neither were thinking about that.

"Do you sometimes feel like you don't have a purpose?"

"Yes. I totally feel like that. And it's not just us, James. Most people are feeling like that now. It's because of the war. It keeps giving people the feeling that something's missing from their lives," she said.

"Yeah, you're right. If there had been no war, I would've probably joined a Quidditch academy, Sirius wouldn't have...nah he still would've run away from home…"

"And Regulus wouldn't have to become a death eater…" Lily added without thinking.

James sat up straight. "Lily."

 _Fuck._

"Regulus is becoming a death eater? How do you know this? _Why_ do you know this?" he asked her.

"I- I don't know anything! I'm just saying it's an eventuality!" she said quickly.

"Tell me!" he asked her.

"No! It's not my secret and I can't tell you anything!" she said.

"Wait, did Dorcas tell you that?" he asked her.

"She told you?!"

"She didn't. Remus walked in on them shagging, last week I think."

"Oh! So, you know about them!" she said, and heaved a sigh of relief. "I- I did something, James. And I'm still not sure it was the right thing to do…"

"What?"

She told him how she'd persuaded Dorcas to tell Regulus about her feelings.

James smiled. "That was the right thing to do, Lily. Seriously."

"Thank God. I'm glad you think so," she said, looking down at her fingernails.

James was surprised that his opinion meant something to her. "Did Dorcas tell you he's becoming a death eater?"

Lily groaned. "James, I really want to tell you everything, but really, you have to ask Dorcas."

"Okay."

"But I can tell you something else that Dorcas told me about, it's called the Order of the Phoenix," she said, looking very serious.

"What's the Order of the Phoenix, Lily?"

"Something that might give you purpose."


	88. Marmorated Orchid

Downstairs in the Prefect's bathroom, Sirius sat at the edge of the pool and looked over at Remus, who was trying on one of the bathrobes on the bench. "You look cosy."

"I'd like to live in this, it's so soft," said Remus, walking over and sitting beside him. Then he turned to Sirius and kissed his collarbone twice. "Why are you so kind to me, Sirius?" he asked.

"I'm kind? That's a first," said Sirius, chuckling.

"You are."

"Because I love you," said Sirius. "Obviously."

"But I'm _me_. Why do you love me? asked Remus.

"Well, let's see. Yep, because you have a great arse," said Sirius, and Remus chuckled.

"Also because you're a paradox," said Sirius.

"I'm a paradox?"

"Yeah. You're a paradox. An enigma," said Sirius. "As in, you're both the knight in shining armour and the fragile princess that needs saving."

Remus chuckled again. "What?"

"You're so strong, you can punch through wooden doors, and you can incredibly fast. Plus, you figured out what Wallace did and told her to stay away from me - thus, you're my knight in shining armour. But at the same time, you're allergic to bread and a couple of leaves - the fragile princess," said Sirius.

"And you like that?" Remus asked him.

"I love that," said Sirius, and Remus smiled.

Sirius inhaled the pine-scented air and looked around again. "Say, Moony."

"Hmm?"

"Did you notice that Christmas tree earlier?" Sirius asked. "Cos I didn't."

Remus chuckled. "Yes, I did."

"Good, cos otherwise, that would've been weird," said Sirius, grinning.

"You mean if someone had come in and placed that Christmas tree there while you had your dick in my-"

"Atchoo!" They whipped around. Someone had sneezed right outside the door!

"We are so getting suspended!" Remus said as they got to their feet and ran to hide in one of the cubicles. The bathroom door opened, and they heard voices. "Why is it so misty in here? It's fogging up my glasses," said a boy.

"No idea, perhaps someone was using it earlier," said a girl, and Remus and Sirius exchanged shocked looks. It was Salima.

"I'll clear it then," said the boy and all the steam disappeared from the air in a flash.

"Well, yeah, so this is it," said Salima. "The Prefect's bathroom. You always wanted to see it, and today you have."

"It's really pretty, but not as pretty as you," said the boy, and inside the cubicle, the two Marauders had so many questions. _Who is she with? Why is she with him? Why was this boy flirting with her even though she had a boyfriend?_

"You mean I'm pretty compared to a bathroom?" she asked.

"No! I meant you are beautiful," he said.

"I've heard that a hundred times before, Gibbon," she said nonchalantly. "From a hundred different boys."

'Gibbon?' Remus mouthed to Sirius. 'Ew.' Sirius got angry and flushed the toilet in the cubicle.

"Who's there?" Salima asked immediately.

'Why'd you do that?' Remus mouthed to Sirius. Then he angrily opened the cubicle door and stepped out.

"Oh, hey Remus," said Salima, a little nervously. A tall, studious-looking boy with glasses, was standing next to her. He leered at Remus from head to toe, making him feel extremely self-conscious for wearing just the bathrobe. _So that's Gibbon. Ugh. Now I know how girls feel when men leer at them._

"Hey Salima," said Remus. "I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?"

"Huh? No, of course not, Gibbon just wanted to see the bathroom, so I brought him along," she said, grinning awkwardly.

"Oh."

Sirius and Remus argued all the way back to the Gryffindor tower. "Like I said the other day, Padfoot, you have to stop and think before you act!"

"I did think!" said Sirius indignantly.

"We could have just kept quiet!" said Remus. "They would have left soon. Why did I need to show myself in a stupid bathrobe?!"

"You said you'd live in it!"

"Sirius, it's just weird that someone went down there to have a bath on their own, no one does that," said Remus.

"I'm sure loads of people do it all the time, but you don't know that, because you've never done it!" said Sirius. "And even if they don't, why do you care so much what other people think of you?"

"What?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows pointedly.

"It's what I've done my whole life," said Remus.

"You don't have to. The lycanthropy, yes, but not for anything else... I mean who cares if that idiot Gibbon thinks you bathe?" said Sirius.

"Well if you put it like that..." said Remus, glancing at his boyfriend, and then they laughed. He understood what Sirius meant. People stared at Sirius all the time. But he never complained, he just took it in his stride. Remus was new to people looking at him, he had avoided people's looks all his life. "Wait, no. That's not my point though."

"Then what?"

"If you wanted to do something, you should have asked me first. We were in that cubicle together, so we both get to make the decisions," said Remus.

"I flushed a toilet. So what?" asked Sirius.

"You heard them. It made me suspicious," said Remus.

"You mean you thought they were about to shag?" asked Sirius, now worried.

"Maybe, I don't know. I've heard that Gibbon is a pig."

"Salima isn't. Plus, even if they'd shagged, what would James say to her? How would he tell her, how he found out? Isn't this better?" said Sirius.

"Snowflake," said Remus to the Fat Lady, and she swung forwards with a wine-drunk smile.

"Still, please include me next time," said Remus.

"You know, James would have just gone with it," said Sirius, making Remus think that he wished Remus were more like James. "No no, I didn't mean it like that," said Sirius, watching his expression. "It was just an observation."

"Yeah okay," said Remus, trying not to look too dejected.

"I'm sorry. Really Remus," said Sirius, as Peter walked up to them, grinning.

"Guys, look at those two," he said, pointing to the couch by the fire. James and Lily were fast asleep on the couch. Sirius and Peter grinned at each other.

"I didn't want to wake them up," said Peter, who was sitting in an armchair nearby. "They look so cute."

Sirius chuckled. "Cute? Hmmm, in that case, we _have_ to wake them up."

"Then let me do it, you'll just embarrass them and drive Lily away," said Peter, as they walked over to them.

"But that's my favourite part," said Sirius, forgetting to whisper and James opened his eyes.

"What... what time is it?" he asked.

"A little past twelve," said Peter, smirking.

James grinned back and gently shook Lily. "Gimme five more minutes, Marlene," she mumbled, not waking up.

Sirius couldn't resist. He bent down and whispered in her ear, "Marlene isn't here, but I'll gladly give you five more minutes-"

Lily snapped her eyes open and looked up at Sirius, grinning roguishly at her. She blinked for a moment, then pushed his face away. "You're terrible!"

The boys laughed. "So I fell asleep and you didn't wake me?" she asked James.

James opened his mouth to reply but Sirius beat him to it. "He was watching you sleep, Ms. Evans."

Lily made a horrified face and stood up.

"I wasn't!" James yelled. "I fell asleep as well," he hit Sirius on the shoulder.

"Disgusting," she said and started walking swiftly towards the staircase.

James stood up and called after her, "Lily, I swear-"

"I know, James," she said, looking back at him. There was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Yeah. I have a girlfriend," said James, as if reminding her. Sirius and Peter exchanged tense looks.

"I know," said Lily, and walked up the stairs a little self-consciously. _As if I needed reminding._

"Prongsy," said Sirius, when James unconsciously messed up his hair as they watched her disappear behind the girls' door. "Remember, it's a dangerous affliction."

"What is?" asked James.

"Love-itis," replied Sirius and Peter chuckled. "We'd thought you had recovered, but apparently not."

"What the hell are you talking about? Get lost," said James. "We were just talking."

Peter sighed pointedly, shaking his head. "Is there a cure, Padfoot?" he asked.

Sirius looked around and suddenly noticed that Remus was gone. "Oh no."

James sniggered at him. "No, Wormy. There's no cure at all."

"Moony!" said Sirius, entering the dorm and walking to Remus' bed, where Remus lay, with folded arms and a neutral but ireful expression. "I didn't mean it like that."

Remus refused to reply or even look at him.

"It was just an observation, I'm not asking or wishing for you to become like him," he said. Still nothing.

"Trouble in paradise? Cos of _moi_?!" asked James, pausing in the middle of changing into his pajamas.

"How do you know he was referring to you?" asked Peter.

"Who else would Sirius choose to compare someone to?" said James, walking over to Sirius. "Isn't that right?" he asked the two of them delightedly.

"Yeah, you're right, why don't you two date each other then?" said Remus. Then he simpered and turned his back to them.

"That sounds perfect," said James, putting his arms around Sirius. "I'll happily dump Salima for you, Pads."

"No Moony, don't do that!" said Sirius, removing James' hands from his waist and walking around the bed to face Remus.

"Oh no, the deadliest move, the turning-of-the-back!" said James dramatically, and Peter laughed.

"Get fucked, James!" said Sirius, closing Remus' bed curtains, and James and Peter laughed.

"You know, if you two are going to be doing things instead of talking, we'd prefer if you used a Silencing Charm," said Peter.

"Fine! Now shut up!" yelled Sirius, and James and Peter laughed again.

"Then the curtains whipped open again. "For your information, it's impossible to use a perfect Silencing Charm for these curtains, cos it's not a room," said Remus. "The best it could do is blur out the sounds."

Peter grimaced. "What use is that?" he asked, now very afraid.

Sirius laughed. "We'll try not to make you vom, Wormtail," he said and shut the curtains again, and performed the charm. "Moony, I'm really sorry."

Remus merely looked at him as he lay down beside him.

"I know what I said, but so what? I'm in love with you, not him," said Sirius.

"Okay," said Remus. "I know. I hate it when I get so insecure... I think I have an inferiority complex."

"You think?" said Sirius, chuckling. "Well, remember what I said earlier? From tomorrow, you're going to do everything you like, and not worry about what anyone says. Okay?"

"Okay, I'll try," said Remus, smiling.

"And don't doubt the things you know for sure," said Sirius, climbing on top of him like an adorable puppy. "Don't doubt me."

Remus nodded, and Sirius kissed him all over his face, muttering an 'I love you' for every kiss. Then he stopped and looked at him. "Hey Moony, did you notice what James said earlier-"

"That he'd break up with Salima? I did," said Remus. "But do you think we might be reading too much into it?"

Sirius laughed. "Perhaps, you're right."

The next afternoon, Sirius was perfecting his chess skills with the help of Peter, while James and Remus went downstairs to get some snacks. "Boom! Check out the loot, boys!" said James, dumping all the snacks in his hands on their table, and noticing too late that Lily was at the next table.

"James!" she exclaimed, looking at the all the cakes.

"Oh, er… hi Lily!" he said.

"And where may I ask, did you get all these snacks?" she asked him, standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

"You may…" James mumbled, and the other Marauders started laughing.

"Cream cake, Lily?" Peter said, offering her one.

"Am I to understand that the two of you broke into the kitchens to steal this food?" she asked, walking over, trying to keep a straight face.

"Not steal, exactly," said Remus. "We _asked_ the house-elves..."

"I see. And you being a Prefect, instead of telling them off, are now going along with it?" she asked, now turning to him.

"Let them go, Lily, just this once?" Sirius pleaded, putting on the most innocent puppy face he could muster.

"What I can't understand is, you had lunch less than two hours ago," she said. "I saw you gorging on those chipolatas, Remus."

Remus just grinned.

"We just wanted to eat bakery products," said James.

"Fine. But if I see this happening again, I will put you _all_ in detention!" she said sternly.

"You can't put another Prefect in detention," said Sirius.

"You have no idea what I am capable of Sirius, you'd better be careful," she told him menacingly.

"Alright, alright," said Sirius, holding his hands up in defeat. She grabbed the cream cake out of Peter's hands, and went back to her table.

"I cannot believe she didn't give us detention," said James.

"Indeed. She's changed," said Peter, and Sirius and Remus avoided each other's eyes.

Later that evening, Marlene walked into the girls' dorm with a tawny owl on her shoulder. "Lily," she said, but Lily was napping. "Oh boy, Lily, Lily Evans!" said Marlene and finally Lily grunted awake.

"What... what happened to the fish and chips?" she asked, blinking sleepily. Alice laughed. Lily always had super-specific dreams.

"I have no idea what happened to the fish and chips in your _dream_ , Lils, but this handsome boy has come back with your reply," said Marlene, and Lily sat up and took the letter from the owl. The owl hooted what sounded like 'finally,' and flew out the door.

"It's from Petunia," said Lily, getting to her feet. Then she held the letter to her chest and exhaled excitedly. Alice and Marlene smiled at her encouragingly. "Okay, I'll go downstairs and read it, an maybe even answer it," she said, grabbing her outdoor coat and stationery.

"Hope it's a positive reply," said Alice, as they heard her go down the stairs.

"Lily seems hopeful, so I guess it will be," said Marlene, plopping down beside her.

Lily sat down at a table near the bookshelf and opened the letter, he heart was thudding.

 _Dear Lily,_  
 _thank you for your letter, and especially thank you for the chocolates, although we couldn't eat them because, in case you don't remember, Vernon's allergic to macadamia nuts. So we gave them away to the milkman._

"Motherfu***!" said Lily loudly, but there wasn't anyone near her to glare or ogle. "Why didn't _you_ eat them?! You love chocolates with nuts in it!" Then she shook her head at how filthy her mouth had become ever since she'd started hanging with Remus.

 _Anyway, in reply to your letter, I'm happy you shared everything that has happened with you over the past two years, and all your feelings. But-_

 _Oh, boy, there is it. The 'but'._

Three hours later, Lily found herself in Greenhouse 3, staring at a wilting Marmorated Orchid. She sighed loudly and picked up the watering can and opened the tap in the sink. Nothing came out. Oh yeah these taps freeze in the winter.  
She took out her wand and performed a non-verbal _Aguamenti_ charm. Water flowed from her wand in an irregular but thin stream, and the orchid immediately absorbed the water and shook itself happily, and Lily chuckled, feeling proud of herself. Then, words from her sister's letter came back to her and she sighed again, delicately this time.

 _...love the idea of maintaining a close sisterly bond, but that is all wishful thinking right now. I think the time for that has passed, and we should be practical about it. I'm not saying we should sever ties or something. I still love you, you'll always be my sister. But, I don't think we can bring back the affection we shared as children, because I don't think I can ever get over the fact that you abandoned me and went away to that school. I'm really starting to abhor 'magic', so please don't tell me more about your classes and everything. We can talk about other stuff, you're always welcome to ask me advice if you'd like. But I'll understand if you prefer the advice of your confidantes at school, like the girl who came to our house, Martha. I have my confidantes here too, I know what it's like having a close-knit group of friends who share everything with each other..._

It sounded so much like Petunia didn't need her anymore. And it hurt a lot when she saw it that way. But then she remembered how Petunia had felt abandoned when she'd come to Hogwarts.  
 _So, what? Is this some kind of revenge? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she share things with me? Maybe she thought I didn't need her anymore. But I did. I always needed her. She's my big sister!_

Lily had wanted to tell her friends about the letter, but it was Christmas, everyone was in such a good mood, and she felt like was always talking about the bad things Petunia had done. She didn't want to bore them or bring the mood down. But before she could tell the others, she needed to know how she was feeling first. And the strange thing was, she didn't know how to take the news. Should she be sad? Should she mourn the demotion of the relationship from sister to distant cousin? Or should she be practical like Petunia had suggested?  
 _Yeah, I can be practical. I've been practical about many things - I've been practical about Severus, about my Astronomy OWL, about the war, and even about James. I can absolutely be practical about this._  
It was also extremely vexing that Petunia couldn't remember Marlene's name even after she spent a week in the same house. _Martha_. _Humph_!  
Perhaps she was doing it on purpose. There was so much passive-aggressive energy in the letter. It was so confusing.

The Marauders were joined by Marlene as they went down to dinner. "I love this pie!" said Marlene, tucking in, as Professor Dumbledore was reminding everyone to have fun with the firecrackers. There were loud bangs from all over the Great Hall and many puffs of multicoloured smoke and yielded hats of various kinds. James was wearing a boater hat and grinning broadly. It wasn't sitting on his head properly though, his messy hair prevented that.

"Oh look, Minnie's wearing a beret, _it is unreal_ ," said Sirius.

"Oh my God, it suits her!" said Remus, and everyone laughed. "Where's Alice?" he then asked. "I wanted to ask her if she was done with that Lotus book?"

"Yeah, I'll ask her for you if you'd like. But she's just over there at the Hufflepuff table," she said, pointing. "With Doris and Balbina."

"Okay," said Remus. "Where are the other two?"

"Lily was supposed to be in the Common room, I looked for her when I was coming down for dinner, but she wasn't there. Maybe she's in the library," said Marlene. "And Mary, I have no idea. Nil. She's been gone all day."

After dinner, just to be sure, Remus went to the library to check if she was there. She wasn't. "Never mind, let's go back to the Common room," he said to the others.

When they went back, a bunch of the boys from both years decided to play Gobstones, so the Marauders joined them. During the break, Remus walked over to his bag, took out the Marauders' map and searched for Lily on it. "Did you find her?" asked James, walking over to him.

Remus smiled. "Not yet."

They both searched, but she didn't seem to be anywhere in the castle. "We should ask Sirius to take a look, he has a good eye for this," said James, squiting at the names in the Great Hall.

"There she is," said Remus, pointing at Greenhouse 3. They looked at each other.

"What is she doing there?" asked James.

"Something's happened," said Remus, folding up the Map. "I'll go check on her."

"Moony," said James, putting his hand on Remus'. "Do you mind if I go?"

And this put Remus in a dilemma. Should he allow James to go? That will make him very happy, but what would Sirius say if he found out? What would Salima say, was the real question.

"Please?" said James, and Remus nodded automatically, because James only used the word 'please' in very rare, very serious occasions.

James smiled. "Okay!" he said, a little feverishly, looking at Remus' dubious expression. "D- Don't worry Moony, I won't annoy her, I'll just ask her what's wrong, and if she wants to be alone, I'll come right back. Okay?"

"Yeah," said Remus., still thinking how much of a bad idea this was.

"Don't worry, everything's gonna be fine!" he yelled as he quickly ran towards the Portrait hole.

Peter and Sirius saw that and walked over. "What?" Remus asked them, a bit too casually.

"Do we have to ask?" said Peter, gesturing at the Portrait hole, and Remus' eyes flicked nervously to Sirius.

"Er, we checked the Map for Lily and found her in one of the greenhouses, er, all alone... So James went to check on her," he replied.

"Why did you let him go?" asked Sirius immediately.

"He wanted to go," said Remus guiltily. "I couldn't stop him."

"You couldn't stop him? You have brute strength. You should have pinned him down to the floor!" said Sirius loudly. "You should have sat on him!"

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Peter.

"The obvious reason, Wormy," said Sirius. "Don't think a bloke and his ex-crush should be alone in a room for too long!"

"You don't think anything will happen between them, do you? Lily's not interested in him at all, she's made that perfectly clear," said Peter. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," said Sirius, nodding. "Still, I'm just going to sit here and keep and eye on the Map," said Sirius, snatching the Map out of Remus' hands.

"Oy Pettigrew, you coming?" called Wetherby.

"No, you lads go ahead," Peter told him, and sat down beside Sirius.

"Well, open the Map then," said Remus, sitting back down resignedly, and Sirius did as he was told.

"There he is on the third floor staircase," said Peter, pointing at his dot.

James went down the dozens of staircases and finally reached the Entrance Hall. Professors Arsinoe and Flitwick were decorating a gigantic Christmas tree there. It was already looking beautiful, it had hundreds of glittering never-melting icicles all over it. He cursed himself for forgetting his cloak, but he had to still try. He tiptoed down the stairs, and luckily for him, someone from inside the Great Hall called for Professor Flitwick, and they both walked in. James took this opportunity to quickly run to the double doors. They were still unlocked, so he slipped out with ease. As soon as he put his foot out, he felt the biting cold, and shivered. He looked around and saw the large tracks in the snow, leading to and from Hagrid's hut. Then he took out his wand, lit it, and slowly made his way to the greenhouses. He reached Greenhouse 3 and opened the door, and Lily looked up from the small potted plant she'd been playing with.

"James?"

"Hey Lily," he said. "What are you doing?"

"Er, nothing, I was- I was just- watering some plants. This one looked really wilted earlier," she said, pointing at the Marmorated Orchid. She smiled at him, but James could see she was a bit overwhelmed.

He walked closer to her and she unconsciously put down the pot on the table. "Are you okay?" he asked her.

["Looks like they're talking," said Sirius. "Yeah," said Peter.]

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said automatically. Then her eyebrows furrowed. "How did you find me? Oh, that Map of yours... why are you here?"

"Why are _you_ here all by yourself?" he asked, and she impatiently clicked her tongue.

"Why do you think, James? I'm here because wanted to get away from everyone for some time," she told him. "I want to be alone," she told him, hoping he would take the hint and leave.

But James was _James_. Too caring too see other people upset. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked. Now he was two feet away from her.

"I'm fine," she said again, a little irritated now.

"You don't look fine," he said. Lily said nothing, she just scowled up at him. "Do you want a hug?" he asked her.


	89. Huskies from Qaanaaq

"Excuse me?" said Lily incredulously.

"Hugs always make people feel better," he said, holding out his arms.

"I'm good, thanks, James," she said.

"Sirius says I give the best hugs," he said, coming closer. Then he proceeded to put his arms around her. But it wasn't great. She didn't relax into the hug, she just stood there, awkward and stiff, with her hands by her side. "Relax Lily, I'm not going to eat you," he said jokingly and she put her head on his chest.

["Why are the dots touching?" asked Peter, grimacing. "They're probably hugging? James is a hugger," said Remus. "Yeah," said Sirius, raising an eyebrow at Remus before looking down at the Map.]

It wasn't actually that bad, but it did feel a little dishonourable. But she didn't understand why it felt dishonourable. Then she took a deep breath and froze, her eyes wide open. _Ho-ly-Mer-linnn!_  
Here was that smell! That damn smell she'd smelt in that damn potion! She took several other breaths.  
 _No, it can't be. It can't be, I don't love James Potter! I don't! I really don't! I_ actually _don't! This is bollocks!_  
"No!" she said, pushing him away a little. Then she remembered something else and narrowed her eyes. She'd smelt this very smell in the Owlery that day. This fresh beachy smell, it was probably his cologne. She wanted to ask him, but what would she ask? _Can you become invisible?_ It sounded so ridiculous even in her head... but she also felt a little scared too at the possibility that he might know magic, none of the others knew.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, and she felt his hazel eyes pierce through to her soul, momentarily distracting her.

 _No_. She needed to find out everything about invisibility first. Then she would ask him. "Nothing," she said, walking past him towards the door.

["Oh, what? Something happened," said Sirius tensely. "She's leaving," said Peter. James' label swiveled around with the dot, so they knew he had turned around.]

"You don't have to take this the wrong way, I'm attempting to comfort you cos you're my friend," he said to her.

"I am aware of that, James," she said, opening the door, bringing the falling snow in. "I'm not taking it the wrong way, I promise. But I don't need comforting."

"I know something's bothering you," he said, also walking over to the door. "You can tell me," he said, as they walked back to the castle together.

Lily smiled dully to herself. _If he knew what was bothering me... No, he must never know, he'll never find out. But what should I tell him though? Also what the bloody fuck!_

"I just want you to know that you can tell me things too," he said, taking out his wand and melting the snow in their path to make their passage easier. The snow was falling fast and thickly now. "Friendship works both ways, you know."

Now she was wishing she'd never asked him what had been bothering him last night. But luckily for her, she was spared from having to think up a lie, by Hagrid, who was coming down the front steps. "Hey, you two, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Lily watered some plants," answered James vaguely, and Hagrid didn't feel the need to question them further, seeing as she was a Prefect. But he did smile knowingly.

"Okay, but don't wander around after dark, it's dangerous," he told them.

"You are wandering," said James, grinning.

"Well, being me has it's advantages, doesn't it?" said Hagrid, smiling beneath his beard. Then Lily suddenly sneezed. "Oh, you two had better get inside," he said, opening the double doors. "Come on in and see the Great Hall, it looks magnificent!"

Patricia Adams and Peony Parkinson, who were charming some tinsel to go on the banister in the Entrance Hall, looked at Lily and James suspiciously as they walked in, taking in everything about their appearance, from the snow in their hair, their pink faces and their wet boots. They exchanged curious glances.

"Wherever those two were, they were there together," whispered Patricia to Peony, who nodded.

"Looks like they were alone too," she replied.

"Wow," said James, walking into the Great Hall. It truly looked marvelous. There were several towering Christmas trees, all decorated with candles, holly and everlasting snow.

"The Christmas trees are twelve in total," said Hagrid. "Professor Flitwick wants to make it a tradition."

"They're beautiful, Hagrid!" said Lily, wiping her nose.

"You had better go upstairs and get warmed up by the fire, Lily," Hagrid told her. "You don't want to be sick during the Ball."

"You're right, thanks Hagrid," she said. "I'll see you later then, bye!"

"Night-night!" he said, waving merrily at them.

Lily and James climbed the stairs, but instead of turning right to the Tower, she was turning left. "Lily, where are you going now?"

"To the library, I have reading to do," she told him, pausing and turning around.

["Where is she going now?" asked Peter. "Library," said Remus immediately. "Of course. As you do," said Sirius, confused. "After all that..." said Peter, also confused.]

"What reading?"

"Er... Arithmancy," she lied.

"But your cold... the fire in the Common room," James said, gesturing in the direction of the Tower.

"I'll be fine, but I really need to do this," she said, walking again.

"Fine. Okay! You're fine," he said. "You said that already. But are you sure you even know, when you're _not_ fine?"

She turned around again and stared at him. _How does he know that? And how does he know to say that?_ "Go back to the Common room James," she finally told him and walked away.

He watched her till she turned another corner, then he started back to Gryffindor Tower, completely bemused. _Are girls even the same species as us?_

As Lily walked to the library, she shook her head to clear it, trying not to focus on the fact that every time they talked, James managed to bring each of her insecurities out to the surface. This was beginning to become a bad habit of hers- every time she was on the verge of experiencing an emotional upheaval, instead of focusing on the real issue, she would subconsciously latch onto some other issue on the side, which she thought carried more weight than the original issue. For example, right now, instead of realising that James Potter might be the love of her life, she chose to figure out the mystery behind his ability to achieve invisibility. But this sort of behaviour helped her to be practical, and helped her stay sane, so she wasn't going to stop any time soon. Also, there wasn't any real use of focusing on the original issue anyway. The only problem was, she didn't consciously realise she was doing it.

"Well, I have many questions that I need answered," said Sirius, closing the Map. Remus swallowed nervously.

As Lily entered the library, she saw that Madam Pince was snoozing at her desk, there wasn't anyone else there except for a bunch of seventh year Ravenclaws, hunched over their books in the Ancient Languages section. Lily tiptoed past her and walked to the Charms section to look for books on invisibility. She pulled out a likely book called _Disguises for Disappearing_ written by Malcolm Bumblepuft. Lily flipped the pages, Metamorphmagi, Animagi, potions for skin colour change, charm to increase hair growth on the body- _oh, what a ridiculous thing to invent, Malcolm!_ \- make the bones of the body bendy, to be able to fit under muggle automobiles and in wardrobes... charm to repel gytrashes... _completely irrelevant! This book is useless!_  
She put the book back and tilted her head sideways to read the titles of the other books. _Concealment Charms and other things I learned while living with Hebredean Forest elves_ , by Mitchell Belby. But as she expected, there wasn't much about concealment charms other than in one chapter, but it didn't look like these spells could successfully conceal an entire human being.  
She put it back and ran her forefinger along the other books, scanning for any words related to invisibility. Suddenly she paused. _Vanishing Into thin Air_ by Walter Tremlett sounded positive, but it turned out to only be a step-by-step guide on Apparition. Then she heard a bell go off in the distance and sighed.  
 _Nine pm already?_

"Please return the books to the appropriate shelves," she heard Madam Pince's voice. "If you want to borrow any books, make sure you have your cards ready..."

 _No... what the heck._ Lily was determined to figure this out. Maybe she viewed it as a win. As something that would give her a small sense of achievement. She walked up to Madam Pince and waited in line. When all the students were gone, Madam Pince looked up at her. "Yes?"

"Do you have any books on invisibility, Madam Pince?" she asked.

"There are some in the Restricted Section, but I would suggest you ask Professor Flitwick, he has an excellent book called _The Invisible Book on Invisibility_ ," suggested Madam Pince. "If, of course, he manages to find it."

 _That's a joke._ "Right, of course, cos it's invisible," said Lily, smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" Madam Pince asked her.

"Oh, nothing, thank you, Madam Pince," said Lily, hurrying out of the library. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Lily," said Madam Pince.

 _She knows my name._ Lily walked down to the Great Hall again, where she had last seen Professor Flitwick. But no one was there. It looked like all their work was done, and everyone had gone to bed. In the dark, the Great Hall looked even prettier. Then candles were all extinguished, but the trees still glittered in the light of the torch that had just fired up when she had walked in. She looked up, the sky was pitch black and snow was falling from the magical ceiling. The magical snow fell for a few feet and then disappeared. It was so beautiful in here, it even smelt amazing due to all the Christmas trees, that she wanted to just sit there for a long time. But it was also freezing, and Hagrid was right, she didn't want to end up catching a cold and missing the Ball. So she made her way to Professor Flitwick's office instead.  
As she approached the office door, she heard a number of voices inside, all talking enthusiastically. _Oh, he has company. Should I knock?_  
She knocked anyway, and Professor Flitwick opened the door with a burst of ambient noise. It looked like he was having a small get-together. "Ms. Evans, how can I help you?" he asked her merrily.

"Is that the house elf with the mulled Mead, because-"

"Oh, it's a student, Po," she heard Professor Sprout say.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you professor, but Madam Pince said you had a book on Invisibility?" asked Lily.

"I do," said Flitwick. "Do come in, my dear, I'll get it for you," he said, and Lily awkwardly walked in. A few of the delegates were sitting around in the chairs and on the couch, along with a couple of teachers, and they were all engrossed in a conversation about politics at the Ministry.

"Ah Lily," said Slughorn, grinning appreciatively and gesturing to her to come over. "This is Lily Evans, the student I told you about," he told Robert Holloway.

"Awesome," said Robert Holloway in his American accent, as he shook Lily's hand. "Horace can't stop raving about you. Will you be pursuing Potions after school? A buddy of mine owns a Potions lab in Boston, I can recommend you if you want."

"That's very kind of you sir," said Lily. "I love Potions, but I'm still not sure what I want to do."

"No problem. In case you are interested, your professor here has my details," said Robert.

"Thank you," said Lily. The grown-ups went back to their discussion about how they thought the undersecretary and the junior minister were the reason for all the corruption and nepotism at the Ministry. Lily looked around the room, Professor Sprout and Aslaug Velum were sitting on the couch together, whispering things to each other and laughing about it. Suddenly there was a loud pop, and a house elf appeared, carrying a bottle of mead on a silver tray.

"Ah, perfect!" said Slughorn. "You will love this, Po."

"I know I will," said the Honourable Kang Po, holding out his goblet, so Slughorn could pour him some. "I've heard so much about Rosmerta's Mulled Mead ever since I got here!"

Flitwick soon returned. "Here you are, Ms. Evans," he said, holding nothing in his hand. When she looked curious, he chuckled and touched his wand to the area above his palm and a silverish-purple book appeared.

"Oh," said Lily, taking the book.

"Tricky book, that one," he told her. "It disappears when not being read or handled. You can only see it when prodded with a wand, so you must remember where you've kept it."

"Okay, thank you for warning me sir. Goodnight," she said, and left his office. Hmmm. She opened the book and read the foreword... _most comprehensive book about all the ways to achieve invisibility.._. Then she heard someone clear their throat and looked up. Three girls sat on the staircase leading to Gryffindor Tower - Peony Parkinson, Patricia Adams and Salima Shafiq. Lily had no idea what to do. Was this one of those ambushes Peony had talked about? _Am I going to have to duel them?!_  
She felt around her pocket to check if she had her wand, and her fingers closed around the thin wooden strip.

"No need for nonsensical wand-waving, Evans," said Peony, and all three girls stood up and stepped down the stairs and walked towards her. At 5'9, 5'8 and 5'11, all three girls towered over Lily, who was a maximum of 5'6 on good days.

She tried not to get nervous. "Do you need something?" she asked them.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," said Patricia, in her deep voice. "We wanted to know what you were doing with Potter?"

"Potter?"

"Yes, Potter. Don't pretend like you didn't hear her," said Peony. "What were you doing with Potter in the grounds earlier?"

Lily stared at them. She didn't want to tell them about her letter, but she didn't want to say it was personal either, because that would make them more suspicious. And what would she tell them about how James found her? She didn't know if Salima knew about the Marauders' Map. And seriously, what would she tell them happened? That James felt the need to give her a hug to comfort her? She couldn't even tell them the lie James had told Hagrid, because these girls weren't as innocent as Hagrid, they would definitely go and ask Professor Sprout if she had asked Lily to water some plants in the greenhouse.

"Don't try and think up excuses, Evans," said Peony meanly.

"Please tell the truth Lily," said Salima. "Is there something going on between you and James?"

And Lily felt thoroughly ashamed of herself. One one side, she was telling everyone how she wanted nothing to do with James Potter, but here she was, trying to find lies to tell James' girlfriend about why she met with him earlier. _Why is this happening to me?_  
 _Yes. There is something going on between James and I. But it's all in my head, Salima. I'm so sorry._  
"Whether you will believe me or not, I don't know, but James and I are friends," she said to them.

"We know about your history, he asked you out so many times, before he met Salima," said Peony.

"Yes, but but we never-"

"Look, just tell me what you guys were doing today?" said Salima. She looked a little desperate.

Lily swallowed before answering. "I received a letter from my sister, and I was a bit disappointed about it. So he asked me what had happened, but I didn't want to tell him, so we came back," she said.

The girls looked at each other, a little unsure.

"Do you love him, Lily?" asked Salima, and Lily felt ashamed again. _I don't know. I don't know what love is._

"You're too nice, Shafiq," said Patricia angrily. Then she moved closer to Lily and looked down at her. "Listen here Evans, you'd better stay the hell away from Potter, or you'll regret it a bunch."

"Adams!" said Salima. "Leave the poor girl alone! They're friends, think how it will look if she suddenly stops talking to him. He'll feel terrible."

"Can I go now?" asked Lily, and Patricia and Salima moved aside to give her space.

"I trust you won't go blabbing about this," said Peony, as she walked past them.

"If there is anything I hate, it's drama, and the people who create it," said Lily, turning around, and suddenly Peony and Patricia looked a little mortified. "So, yes, you _can trust_ that I won't do that."

"Let's just go," said Salima, and the three girls swiftly marched away.

Lily stood there, watching them go, breathing deeply to calm herself down.  
 _Do you love him, Lily,_ Salima had asked. _No, I don't love him. But then why do I feel so horrible? Why do I feel like I'm betraying Salima in some way?_  
 _If she does that, James will feel terrible,_ Salima had said, and that felt even more heart-crushing. _God, Salima is such a good person, she cares about him so much. And look at me and my idiotic brain, delving and lingering on unnecessary things for nothing._  
Then she realised she felt so bad was because, even if she didn't love James, she was still thinking about him. And even if she tried to tell herself that thinking about someone was not so bad, she had this book in her hands. And the reason she had it in her hands was because she wanted to know about James.  
 _No. I don't want to know anymore. I don't care._  
The book felt dirty now. It felt dangerous. Forbidden. She didn't even want to touch it, she just wanted to fling it away and let it stay there forever. No one would even know the book was there, cos it would become invisible. The Amortentia meant nothing now. It was completely irrelevant. Whether or not, she had smelt his perfume in it, did not matter. The only thing that mattered was her honour. If she was a woman of her word. And Lily Evans was. She climbed the stairs with determination now. If James was in front of her and talking to her, she would reply, but other than that, she'd ignore him and all thoughts of him.

When Lily stepped through the Portrait hole, she heard loud shouts and cheers. It looked like the boys were all playing games. _Good for them._ Then she saw Sirius get up and walk towards her. _Oh, what now?_

"Hello Lily," he said.

"What?"

"What did Salima and her friends want with you?" he asked her directly.

 _Oh, for the love of God!_ "I don't have to tell you anything, Sirius, it's between us girls," she told him.

"If it was about James, then he has a right to know," said Sirius.

"That Map of yours should be illegal," she said to him. "If you don't stop bothering me, I'm telling McGonagall about it."

"Don't change the topic," he said quickly. "Moony does that all the time, I know exactly when someone's trying to deflect."

"Look, I don't know what it may have looked like, but we were-"

"Was it about James or not?" he asked her.

"Do you think girls have no other business than talking about boys all the time?" she asked, nearing the end of her patience now.

"It's a 'yes' or a 'no'," he said. "Were you or were you not talking about him?"

"Sirius, _fuck off_!" she told him so savagely, that he was taken aback. Then she moved past him towards the staircase. Sirius didn't say anything to her, but he had gotten his answer. He glanced at Remus, who was grimacing at him, having heard everything from all those tables away.

When Lily entered the room, the other three girls were squealing and giggling about something. "Oooh Lily! You're back!" exclaimed Alice.

"Where were you all this time, Lily?" asked Marlene. "What did Petunia's letter say?"

 _Mother of God, have mercy on me._ "I have a headache, Marlene, let's talk tomorrow," Lily said to her, and she thankfully nodded.

"Lily, you will never guess what happened today!" said Mary excitedly. "My aunt and uncle and cousins came to visit, they came here all the way from Greenland!"

"That sounds great, Mary," she said. "But-"

"Lily, you never listen to anything I say these days," said Mary, pouting.

Lily had nowhere to hide now. People were just _not_ letting her go. _I hate everybody._  
"No, it's nothing like that," Lily said anyway. She wrapped the infernal book in a towel, placed it at the bottom of her trunk, and went to sit beside Mary on her bed. And for the next hour and a half, she had to listen to everything Mary had got up to all day, and look at the pictures of all twenty-seven huskies her cousins owned in Qaanaaq, Greenland, while her head throbbed painfully.

The next morning, Lily stood at the full-length mirror in their room, to brush her hair as she did every morning. Then she looked at her face, observing her features closely. She looked at her lips, her nose, her eyebrows. _Gosh,_ _eyebrows look hideous.  
_ Then she thought about Salima. Naturally. Lily wasn't usually the type of person to compare herself with other girls. But today it seemed she was.  
 _God, she's so much prettier compared to me… such perfect complexion. Why do I have so many freckles?  
_ She wasn't jealous per se, she was just pointing out differences. Lily thought of Salima's hair. The black colour, the elegant curls. _She probably doesn't do anything to it, it's naturally so stunning. So nonchalant.  
_ Then she looked at her own hair. Lily's hair was only so sleek because she meticulously conditioned it everyday. She had always liked her own hair, her straight red hair, but today it felt like it was not enough. Nothing felt enough.

"Lily?" said Alice, and Lily turned around. Her three roommates were looking at her with concern. "You've been standing at the mirror for twenty minutes, honey."

"Oh," said Lily, and put up her hair in a ponytail and went into the bathroom to brush.

"She's losing the plot," said Marlene, looking at the other two.


	90. Creamed Spinach

"For the love of God, Mary!" said Lily, trying to hold the folds of the silk sari up, while Alice tried to pin them to the skirt. "Didn't you think to practise tying the sari beforehand?!"

"I'm sorryyyy," wailed Mary. "I had the book, I thought we just needed to follow the instructions!"

Marlene pouted her lips as she checked her lipstick in the mirror. Then she stood there, in her way-too-short and way-too-inappropriate-for-a-ball gold dress, and chuckled as she watched them struggle.

Alice turned around to face her, with her hands on her hips. "Are you laughing at us?"

"Sorry, it's a little funny," said Marlene, shrugging.

"You could help us, instead of standing there and laughing," said Lily. "Oh dear! Alice, I think we've fixed the pleats of the sari the wrong way, look," she said, showing her the diagram in the book.

"Oh no! All my hard work!" said Alice, with a hand on her forehead.

"It's okay, just calm down, all we have to do is carefully reverse their direction," said Mary.

"Why didn't I check?!" shouted Alice.

"Alice, will you calm down, you get jittery when you're nervous, you don't want to-"

"Ouch!" yelled Alice, sucking her finger. She'd pricked herself in the thumb while removing the many safety pins at the pleats.

"-prick yourself..." finished Lily.

"You know, I'm sure Patil knows a charm that auto-ties a sari," said Marlene.

"Yeah, a sari-tying charm, I'm sure his mother and sisters all use it," said Lily.

"You should have just asked him," said Marlene.

"This sari is a _surprise_ for him! If I ask him that, it won't be a surprise anymore, will it?" said Mary.

"Right," said Marlene, grinning. "Unless he's asked someone else out, and then we're the ones who'd be really surprised."

"Oh Merlin!" said Mary, covering her mouth with her hands. "I didn't even think of that! Imagine I walk down in this sari, and he has some skinny blonde on his arm already! I'd be mortified!"

"Don't worry, I'll be going down first anyway, Frank's asked me to meet him," said Alice. "I'll ask him. And I'll let you know either way."

"Thanks Alice," said Mary, hugging her tightly.

"Careful! Pins in hand!" shouted Alice.

"You really are an incredibly decent person, Alice," said Marlene, and Alice smiled. "But I hope you _do_ put on your dress eventually, if you go downstairs like that, everybody will be quite surprised!"

"Especially Frank!" said Lily, and all of them laughed.

Alice looked down at her navy blue lace bra and knickers. "You always tease me, Marlene," she said, pretending to be upset.

"Frank will be outraged," said Mary.

"He'd probably run over with a blanket and cover you with it," said Marlene, and they laughed again.

"You know, I think that's the seventh years going downstairs," said Marlene, as they heard people go down the stairs.

Mary listened closely. "Nah, I think that's just Milla and Arvid," she said.

"How do you know that?" asked Lily, walking to the door and opening it. It was indeed the twins.

"Don't open the door!" said Alice. "I am naked!"

"So what? It's not like there are any boys out there," said Marlene.

"Arvid looks like a goddess," said Lily, smiling and closing the door. "Frills don't suit everyone, but they suit her!"

"Anything suits her!" said Mary.

"Yeah, she could just be wearing Hagrid's horrible hairy brown suit jacket, and she'd look divine in it!" said Marlene, and they laughed again.

"There," said Alice, smoothing down the bottom of the sari. "We've done our best. I hope Pratap is impressed."

"I'm sure he will be," said Lily assertively and it filled Mary's heart to the brim with confidence.

"You know, there's one girl in Ravenclaw, Kara I think, is her name," said Marlene. "You should have asked her if she knows how to tie a sari." The other three girls looked over at her in unison. "Er, what?"

"You're doing it again with the insensitivity," said Alice. "Just because she has brown skin..."

"What? What did I say now?" asked Marlene, perplexed.

"Kara's from Mauritius, she's not Indian," Mary explained. "But don't worry, the only reason I know that, is because I actually did go and ask her, and she told me to piss off."

Then they all laughed again.

Down in the Slytherin dorms, Jade Belby whirled around in her flashy flapper dress. "How do I look, girls?!" she asked her roommates.

"You look elegant, yet sexy," said Peony, pausing in the middle of putting on her shoes.

"Foxy and glamourous," said Salima, and Jade stopped whirling.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she said, looking at her chiffon swing dress. "That purple is gorgeous, and those shoes are to die for."

"Thanks," said Salima.

An hour later, Lily, Marlene, and Mary were the only ones remaining in the Gryffindor Common room, everyone else had left.

"Oh, where is she?!" asked Mary worriedly, and Lily held her hand.

"She probably got held up by Professor Sprout or something, she'll be here," said Lily.

"I'm changing," said Mary, turning around to go back upstairs.

"No, you are not!" said Marlene, firmly putting her hands on Mary's shoulders. "At least not until Alice comes back, alright?"

"Fine," said Mary. "Fine, I'll just..."

"Just breathe, Mary," said Lily, gesturing at her to inhale deeply. "It's going to be alright." Mary nodded.

Then, the Portrait hole opened and they all looked over, but it was just Bernice, a seventh year girl. She grinned sheepishly at them. "Broke my heel," she said, showing them her shoe. "What are you girls doing here anyway, dinner is already being served."

"Yeah, we'll be down soon," Marlene told her and she walked up to the girls' dorm.

Then the Portrait hole opened again. "This has got to be Alice-" Marlene began saying, but she stopped speaking. Pratap stepped into the room, looked around and spotted the girls. His jaw dropped when he saw Mary. Marlene and Lily grinned at each other and nudged Mary to go over.

"You- you- did you wear this..." he mumbled to her as she walked over.

"For you? Well, yeah," she said shyly. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? I love it, you look _so_ beautiful! You are the most beautiful girl tonight!" he said, and took her hand and kissed it. Mary smiled at him. "Will you accompany me to the Ball?" he asked her.

"Of course you idiot," said Mary, laughing.

"Thank you Ganesha!" said Pratap, looking up at the ceiling. Then the two of them left without even a glance back at Marlene and Lily.

"She completely forgot about us!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Well, if I think about it, it's the only way I'd prefer," said Lily, taking Marlene's hand. "That she's so happy, she forgets us."

Marlene smiled at her. _Merlin, I could never be as thoughtful and considerate as this one._

Professor McGonagall was in the Entrance Hall, talking to a pair of house elves, when she looked up and spotted Marlene and Lily walk down the staircase. "Ms. McKinnon! What are you wearing?! This is a formal ball, not a nightspot in seedy London! I must ask you to-"

"But professor, why are you only telling me off?" asked Marlene innocently. "You aren't saying anything to Lily."

Minerva looked at Lily's shimmery grey, ankle-length dress. _No, it's not sheer or anything._ "Ms. Evans' dress is perfectly appropriate," she said, but she looked doubtful now.

Marlene made Lily turn and Minerva saw what Marlene was talking about. "Ms. Evans! Where is the rest of your dress?" she demanded.

"But professor, this is it, it's backless," said Lily, smiling harmlessly.

Minerva sighed. She really didn't feel like telling them to go all the way up to the Tower to change, especially as she saw Iker waving at them from the Great Hall.

"Marlene! Marlene!" he called.

"Alright, you may go," she said, and the girls grinned joyfully. "But please, Ms. McKinnon, be careful if you are to bend to pick something up off the floor."

"Not to worry, professor," she said, pointing at Iker. "Even if I drop something, I have someone to pick it up for me."

Professor McGonagall nearly smiled. "Go," she said simply, and Marlene ran over to him and jumped into his arms.

"You are breath-taking, mi amor!" they heard Iker say to her, before kissing her.

Lily chuckled and walked in behind them. The Great Hall was a sight to behold. Instead of the candles floating freely, they illuminated the Hall from inside beautiful Moroccan rose gold lanterns. These ball-shaped lanterns were gigantic, they had floral and foliate carvings, and bathed they people sitting under them with a light rose-gold glow. Tinier versions these lanterns hung from all the Christmas trees. The Hogwarts banner was proudly hung behind the teacher's table, which was now replaced by a refreshments table. And the usual four house tables were gone, replaced by a number of smaller, round tables, all with cabriole legs, that seated six or seven people. Lily wondered where all these tables went, when it was not Ball time. These small tables were draped with beautiful satin table cloths.  
A total of six boys had asked Lily to the Ball, but she had declined them all. She didn't feel like she had enough mental energy to deal with that right now. She looked around for her friends, but they all seemed to be scattered. Alice and Marlene were sitting with Frank and Iker at their table, but it was full. And she couldn't even find Mary and Pratap anywhere. _Wow, looks like they're skipping dinner for dessert..._

"Lily," someone said, and she grinned and turned around.

Remus stood there in cream coloured dress robes. "I've been waiting for you. You look hot," he said and she laughed.

"Thanks Remus," she said. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you."

"As I, you," he said, offering her his hand.

"Tell me, what was going through your mind when you picked this colour?" she asked, as he led her to his table.

"Is it that bad?" he asked. "Mum picked it."

"No, it actually suits you, you look very..." she said, thinking.

"Hmm," he said. Sirius, James, Salima, Peter and Tamara looked up at them as she approached. "If it's taking that long, it must be bad. It's okay Lily, just hit me with it."

"It's very Robert Redford in _The Great Gatsby_ , I like it actually," she said.

Remus laughed. "Thank Merlin, I thought you were going to say I looked like Jack Nicholson in _Chinatown_ , I actually feel better now." Lily laughed.

"Hi guys," she said to everyone at the table, and took her seat between Remus and Sirius. "Hi Lily." "Hi."

Tamara looked very glad to see her. "Hi Lily!" she said.

"Hey Tamara," she said.

"Hey Lily, you look pretty," said Salima.

"Thank you," Lily said, smiling at her. "So do you, I love the purple."

"Thanks."

Lily's and James' eyes met for a nanosecond before she looked down at the food in front of her. "Creamed spinach? Yum," she said, reaching out for the spoon.

"Let me help you there," said Sirius, handing her the spoon.

"Thanks," she said, grinning at him.

"No problem," he said, placing a hand on her back in a friendly manner. "Oh Godric!"

"What?" she asked in surprise.

"Your back is as smooth as butter," he said. "Remus, feel her back."

Remus put his hand on her back. "He's right, you have a very smooth back."

"Can you two not do that, I'm- that's quite ticklish," she said, fidgeting.

"Oh really?" said Sirius, and he poked her in her side to tickle her.

She squeaked softly. "Stop it, stop it!" she said, pushing his hand away, and he chuckled.

"You know, if I weren't with Remus, I'd have asked _you_ to the Ball," he whispered in her ear.

"Well, that's the dream isn't it?" she said, putting her chin on her hand and looking at him. "Getting asked to the Ball by Sirius Black."

Sirius winked at her as he cut his herb-crusted beef.

James did not listen to this conversation, no he did not. Neither did he imagine what it would feel like to touch Lily's back. He wanted to talk to her. Make her laugh. "Hey Lily, do you know what happened earlier?" he asked.

"No, James," said Peter sternly.

"No no, tell her," said Sirius, grinning.

"Well, we were all walking down to the Great Hall, and we turned into the Charms corridor and saw a woman standing there, she had her back to us, but she was wearing a white dress, and had floor-length hair," said James.

"Oh Jesus, a banshee?!" asked Lily.

"Peter shrieked piercingly and the banshee turned to look at us, it opened it's mouth and-" said James.

"Oh shut up James, it was just Robert Holloway's wife," said Remus.

Lily gaped at him for a few moments. Then she burst out laughing. "Oh, what the heck!" she said and everyone laughed along with her.

James glanced at Salima and smiled at her. "What?" he asked her, and she shook her head and smiled back at him, wishing he had told her the joke first.

Later on, Remus and Lily sat to the side and watched Iker and Marlene do a slow waltz to the elegant music playing. "Ugh, so graceful!" said Lily. "I didn't know Marlene could move like that. What is Sirius wearing anyway?"

"The tux is velvet, but I don't know about those pants," Remus replied.

"It's so mismatched, but it works," she said. "He looks gorgeous!"

Remus grinned. "I know."

Lily smirked at him. "Looks like we do this often at parties, sit in a corner and admire Sirius Black."

"I do it everyday," he said, staring at Sirius and Lily chuckled at him.

It was eight-thirty now. Sirius walked over to James and Peter, who were laughing together in a corner. He'd just finished dancing to a zippy song with Arvid, and he was sweating a little. "Did you do it?" he asked them excitedly.

James nodded pointed to the other corner of the Great Hall, where a bunch of teachers were standing around something, with their wands out. It was actually a very simple prank. They had broken into Zonko's the night before, and brought back some joke vomit and placed it there on the floor. It was not only very realistic-looking, but it was also charmed to prevent it from being vanished. And if someone attempted to make it hover, it would double in volume.

"So, where's Remus?" Sirius asked James, but he just shrugged.

"No idea actually, we looked for him to tell him about the prank," said Peter. "But we couldn't find him."

"I know where he is," said a voice. Frank pointed to a distance, and the Marauders stretched their necks. Alice and Remus were standing next to the entrance, looking at a book. Sirius thought Alice's navy empire-waist gown and her up-do made her look like the ultimate Victorian maiden.

"What is that?" asked Peter, as they saw Remus and Alice burst out laughing.

"It's apparently an article from _Witch's Weekly_ , that Alice thought he would find hilarious… I've no idea where she found it, but they've been at it for the past ten minutes," said Frank, grinning.

"What's the article about?" asked James.

"Werewolves," said Frank, matter-of-factly, although he did lower his voice a bit.

The Marauders exchanged glances. Then they heard laughter again and looked over at the pair. "Looks like they're having fun," said Sirius, and they all walked over to them.

"Hey Remus, the new jumper you got this morning, was that made of merino wool?" asked Alice.

"Yeah, why?"

"Cos if you'd wear it, you'd be a wolf in sheep's clothing!" she said, and they fell about laughing again. Sirius suddenly looked sulky.

"Guys, you _have_ to read this article!" said Remus, handing the magazine to Sirius. Sirius didn't read it, instead, he gave it to James.

"What is it about?" asked James, taking the magazine.

"It's the stupidest thing. It's a story about a girl who sees a man in a forest, who turns into a werewolf by night!" said Alice, and they chuckled again.

"What, every night?!" asked James, sniggering and reading the page. Peter came closer and read it too.

"His fur was as soft as silk, and his eyes were as…?" James started laughing, unable to go on. Even Sirius smiled unwillingly.

"Go on, Sirius, read it," said Remus.

Sirius pouted. "No thanks."

"Why not?"

"You know, Remus, I thought you didn't appreciate werewolf puns?" he asked, scowling up at him.

"When did I say that?" asked Remus, surprised.

"All the time!" he accused.

"I appreciate them, I do," Remus said, nodding.

"You're always rolling your eyes-"

"That's cos you make a lot of puns, you have to admit-"

"Oh, I get it," said Sirius, crossing his arms."So, it's alright for little Ms. Chicken to make puns, but it's not when I do."

" _Sirius_!" said Remus, surprised at his behaviour.

"Shut up with the chicken references!" said Alice angrily. Frank put his arm around her.

"I'm going to get a drink," Sirius announced.

"Can I come?" asked Peter and Sirius glanced at him.

"Sure, Peter. You're the only one who always laughs at my jokes, you know," he said, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"That I do," said Peter. The two of them walked towards the raised platform.

"Can you believe him?" Remus asked them.

"Well, you know Sirius always has a flair for the dramatic," James said, trying his hardest not to laugh out loud.

Remus folded his hands crossly. "I laugh at his jokes!"

Frank grinned and mumbled something to himself, which had the words 'so jealous' in it.

"Excuse me?" said Remus, and Frank realised he'd said it out loud.

"Sorry, nothing!"

James turned to look at Remus. Remus glanced at him and back at Frank. "Sirius doesn't get jealous," said Remus. Frank smirked at him.

"Are you joking?" asked James. "Moony, you have no idea, Sirius gets super jealous!"

"What?" asked Remus, turning to him.

"Wait, you and Sirius are together?" asked Alice, her eyes wide as sickles.

" _Shshsh!_ " said James, and she put her finger on her lips.

"Yeah," said Remus defiantly.

"Like together-together?! As in a relationship?!" she whispered, amazed, and Frank nudged her.

"Yeah, they are, Alice. Would appreciate it if you guys would keep it to yourselves," said James.

"Yeah, no problem," said Frank, nudging his girlfriend again. She squealed, making the three boys jump.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" she said, jumping in her spot "Aww… you guys make such a cute couple!"

Remus chuckled. "Er, thanks."

"Alice, Shhhh!" said Frank. But he was grinning. Her enthusiasm was one of the things he liked best about her.

"Ohmygodddd… I can't believe I didn't know! Wait a second… Marlene and Lily know, don't they!"

James and Remus chuckled again. "Yeah, they do," Remus said to her. "And I think Frank knew too?"

"Of course I did, I've known since last year. You two were so obvious," said Frank.

"Then how come I didn't see it?" asked Alice.

"Cos you don't live in the boys' dorms," said Frank, and Remus grinned.

Alice chuckled and hugged Remus. "I'm so happy!"

Remus chuckled. "Thanks Alice," he said putting his arm around her.

"So this is why Sirius has never said 'yes' to any of those girls!" she suddenly realised.

"Do you think he was really mad?" Remus asked James.

"Of course not, stop overthinking it," said Alice, grinning.

James chuckled. "Are you kidding, Alice? Of course, he's going to overthink. His middle name is overthink!"

"I thought it was John," said Frank, trying to be funny. Alice shook her head at him, indicating it wasn't.

"You know what, I think I'll get a drink for myself as well," said Remus, and walked over to the refreshments table.

"Aww… those two are the definition of 'opposites attract!'" she whispered dramatically and James and Frank chuckled.

"Hi baby," said Salima, approaching James and holding onto his arm. "What are you all laughing at?"

"Er, just an inside joke, you will not get it," James said to her.

"Oh," she said, looking a little less enthusiastic than before.

"Come and dance with me," he said, pulling her onto the dance floor, and she looked happy again.

"Pete, have you tried this punch, it's not bad," said Sirius, handing him a goblet.

"Mmm," said Peter, tasting it. "I think Tamara would like it, I'll bring her some."

"Good idea," said Sirius, giving him another goblet of it. Peter took it, nodded at him and disappeared into the crowd.

"Sirius Black," said a silky, seductive voice, and Sirius turned around. "It has been too long."

"Goyle," said Sirius automatically.

"I wasn't very surprised when I heard the news of your disinheritance," said Goyle, grinning at him. "You always were a..."

"A what?"

"A rebel," finished Goyle, sipping some Nettle wine. "But you seem to be doing well."

"Yes, I have good friends," said Sirius. "But what about you, in Ministry robes?"

"I am one of the Aurors assigned to _guard_ you students," said Goyle, smirking.

" _You_ are an Auror?" asked Sirius. _I thought he'd go down the death eater route._

Goyle laughed. "Yes, Black, I am," he said. "Isn't it funny how life works? Everyone thought you'd inherit the Black fortune, but it's now your brother's. And that I would end up a bath salt-sniffing sadomasochist, but here I am."

Remus slowed down, observing Sirius' expression. The Auror looked dodgy, so he eavesdropped on their conversation.

"I still think you're a sadomasochist," said Sirius, and Goyle chuckled. Sirius wanted to hit him just out of annoyance.

"Wealth has left you, but I see your pride hasn't," he said, drinking some more wine. "Once a Black, always a Black, I guess."

And Sirius knew he was saying that just to irritate him, but he was already irritated from the whole werewolf-pun thing earlier, so he got more irritated. "Aren't you supposed to be checking the grounds or something? Why are you drinking on the job?"

"I only moved this way to talk to you," said Goyle, but he put the drink down immediately. "To enquire after you."

"You were never interested in these kind of formalities when we were children," said Sirius, making Goyle grin.

"You're right, I did torment you a lot, didn't I?" he said. "But can't the past be left in the past?"

Sirius' brow creased. "Why? What do you want?"

"An olive branch," he said, extending his hand.

Remus could see that Sirius wasn't so keen on accepting that hand. So he moved forward. "Sirius, there you are," he said, standing next to him, and Goyle quickly retracted his hand, looking very wary of Remus.

"Anyway, I'll see you around, Black," he said, stepping down the platform. Then he left.

"Who was that?" asked Remus.

"Oh, Moony, thanks for rescuing me!" said Sirius, forgetting himself and hugging Remus. "I think you scared him away, what did you do, give him wolf-eyes?"

"Sirius, we are in public!" said Remus, and Sirius reluctantly let go of him and sighed.

"I know," he said. "I wish I could dance with you in front of everyone. Kiss you. Show the whole world whose property I am."

Remus chuckled. "Don't talk that way here," he said, glancing around. "So who was that guy?"

"Geoffrey Goyle," said Sirius, grimacing. "Cousin to our dear old classmate Goyle. Part of the cream of wizarding society. By that I mean the worst people ever to walk the planet. That one used to bully Marlene and I every time we met. Apparently he's a junior Auror now."

"What did he want?" asked Remus.

"Wanted to be friends... But what for? Why now?" said Sirius, looking at Goyle, who was talking to another Auror near the entrance.

"Yeah I heard that, but what do you mean?" asked Remus.

"Well, he can't be suddenly wanting to become pals, you know," said Sirius. "There's some ulterior motive, I'm sure of it. Maybe he wants me to join the death eaters."

"Padfoot!" said Remus. "That's a serious accusation. You just said he was an Auror."

"If Geoffrey Goyle isn't a death eater, I'll eat my tux," said Sirius with certainty.

"Let's tell Dumbledore," said Remus. "If what you suspect is true, not only is here on someone's orders to recruit students, he might be one of the people who attacked those Ministry workers in London."

"But I have no proof!" said Sirius, looking up at Remus' face. "What should I tell him? A gut feeling?"

"Yes, and tell him everything you know about him, and also this conversation you just had," said Remus, pulling him down the platform.

"But-"

"Imagine he was the one who murdered Madam Cronk?!" said Remus.

"Merlin, you're right! And he's inside Hogwarts!" said Sirius. "He could be going anywhere... doing anything."

"No, he can't. Dumbledore's got all the Hogwarts ghosts keeping an eye on the Aurors," said Remus. "Look there's the Fat Friar right now."

Sirius smiled when he spotted the Friar hovering far above where Goyle was standing. "Nothing gets past Dumbledore."

"Almost nothing," said Remus, winking at him.

"Let's tell Dorcas first, can you see her?" Sirius asked him.

"Yes, she's over there, talking to Jeshua Fancourt," said Remus.

"It's lucky you are so tall," said Sirius, as they made their way through the crowd.

* * *

 **Author's note: Hi, my lovelies! So, I couldn't upload yesterday cos the Log-in screen kept showing the 'recaptcha' thingy, telling me to prove that I wasn't a bot. And I had to sit there identifying fire hydrants and cars on random streets. And I gave up. :\  
I tried again today, it still showed that screen, but after ten long minutes, I could finally log in. One good thing that came from that, is now I know that Americans call zebra crossings 'Crosswalks' haha. Good to know.  
Also, the other day on Instagram, I saw a photo of a model called Tristan Lim, wearing the Chigga Velvet Tux by _Lisa Von Tang_ , and I just pictured Sirius in it. Yes, I know it's the seventies, but that guy looked really good in it, okay?  
**


	91. Beetle Berry Whiskey

"It's lucky you're so tall," Sirius said to Remus, as they made their way through the crowd towards Dorcas.

" _It most certainly is_ ," Gibbon muttered to himself, sniffing the air as Sirius and Remus walked past.

"What?" Corban Yaxley asked him.

Gibbon licked his lips vulgarly. "I _need_ that creature," he said, pointing at them.

"Sirius Black? What a cliche," said Yaxley. Yaxley hated Sirius.

"No, the other one, what is his name? Roman?" asked Gibbon.

"Remus. Remus Lupin," said Yaxley, grimacing. "And I can't believe you want that deplorable beanpole."

"You didn't see him in that bathrobe," said Gibbon. "Just thinking about it gets m-"

"I _don't_ need to know the details!" said Yaxley quickly, and Gibbon grinned.

"You still sweet on that McKinnon girl?" he asked him.

"What? No," said Yaxley, although it was so obvious he still was. "Besides, she has a boyfriend."

"So what? No harm in trying," said Gibbon.

And Yaxley looked at Gibbon's face curiously and then back at Marlene who was standing with Mary and Pratap, holding a butterbeer and laughing.

"Look at her, she looks like a tasty Ferrero Rocher chocolate in that gold dress," Gibbon went on, horribly encouraging him. "It's so short you can almost see her arse..."

Corban Yaxley had no idea what Ferrero Rocher chocolate was, but he smirked, not realising that this was why his parents always told him to choose his friends carefully. And why Kikazaru, one of the Three Mystic Apes, covers his ears, urging everyone to hear no evil.

The time was nine-thirty pm.  
"... and then, Lady Alcott, she was very pleased to see me too, she'd been impressed I'd managed to find her dog so quickly," said Francois Antoine, and the others around them laughed.

Lily yawned. It wasn't sleep that had made her yawn, it was more likely boredom from listening to Antoine's story. _Ugh, this must be why Remus is always running away from Antoine... cos he's so boring..._  
But then she wondered why she had never found him boring before. She'd always been eager to talk to him, he talked about so many interesting topics, but today it felt like monotony. Then she realised, it wasn't Antoine's fault, it was hers. Because, when the mind needed to dwell on a particular topic, doing anything else became very uninteresting.  
 _Hmm, I guess then Remus always has things more important on his mind, which don't allow him to spare patience for Antoine's speeche_ s.  
She knew exactly what her source of distraction was. What _she_ wanted to ponder, but she didn't allow herself to. Salima had trusted her, and she wasn't about to break that trust. Even mentally. But nevertheless, Lily subconsciously looked over at the dance floor and spotted the couple. Salima performed a perfect underarm turn and returned to James, and he appeared to look so happy, he stopped dancing, pulled her close and kissed her. Lily had expected that by watching them kiss or hug, she'd feel something shatter inside her, feel physical distress from her heart breaking or something. In the novels, unrequited lovers would often feel great pain when their love was thwarted, but Lily felt nothing like that. She had expected this, people in relationships often kissed, it was nothing new. Perhaps this was what Petunia had meant when she had said that real life wasn't like the novels.  
But because she felt nothing intense, she was in doubt. Normally, if you loved someone, and you saw them kiss someone else, you'd feel bad. Hence she came to the conclusion that she didn't love James after all. Perhaps there was something wrong with her brain chemistry. Perhaps she couldn't feel things like normal humans, and she envied other people who knew so clearly, what they wanted. Like Mary, who felt hurt and cried when Pratap scolded her. That was love. Or Iker and Marlene, who can't stay away from each other, no matter how much they fight or disagree with one another. That was love. Or Remus, who would do anything for Sirius. Most certainly, _that_ was love. Hers was not love. _  
_

"I need a drink," she told the group and walked over to the refreshments. Her hand first hovered over the punch, then the butterbeer, then over the spirits. "Hmm. What is Beetle Berry Whiskey?" she asked to herself. It had an interesting puce/plum colour, unlike the other whiskeys. So she poured herself a tiny amount and quickly drank it.  
"Wow," she said and poured herself some more.

"Ah, Beetle Berry Whiskey, good choice," said Carlisle Coote, a seventh year Hufflepuff, who had apparently been beside her, choosing a drink himself, but she hadn't even noticed him.

"Is this one of your favourites?" she asked him, just to make conversation.

"My sister likes it," he said. "Sometimes you can't choose between wine or whiskey, that's when you choose this."

"Ah," she said, smiling.

"If you're drinking to get drunk, this whiskey is perfect," he told her. "But if you're drinking to forget, I'd recommend White Rat."

Lily gave an obligatory chuckle. "Thanks, I guess," she said.

Coote grinned at her, poured himself some wine, grabbed two butterbeers and walked back to his friends.

 _Why did he say, 'If you're looking to forget?' Do I look so miserable that he needed to give me that suggestion? Or is it because I'm the girl and I'm the one getting drinks, so he automatically assumed I'm alone? Humph! So what if I'm alone? I'm alone by choice. Oh Lily, I'm sure he was just attempting to be friendly._  
But in any case, White Rat Whiskey wasn't going to be able to make her forget about James, because she'd had it at his estate. And then she regretted ever agreeing to go there. _It's all Marlene's fault! Oh, what am I doing? Drinking isn't going to solve anything!_  
Then she put the goblet and whiskey bottle down. She wished she was back home with her family. She had stayed back at Hogwarts for Christmas once before, in her third year when her parents had gone to her uncle in Spain, but she hadn't felt like this, then. Now, she just wanted to be back home for Christmas. If she were at home, she'd have gone to church with her parents. Going to church was often a family thing.  
 _Yeah, that's what I need. I need to go to church. Participate in the service. Sing the carols. Pray._  
She needed to pray, she was in need of spiritual guidance. Then she remembered how Remus always talked about the universe like it was a sentient entity. He always told her that when we were praying to any God, we were essentially communicating with the universe. So if she didn't have a church to go to, she'd speak to the universe. She looked around, no one was watching her, so she made her way to the back chamber. This room was usually for teachers, but today she didn't care. She walked in and shut the door. Then she closed her eyes.  
 _Universe if you can hear me, what I want... what I want is a clear head. I want to be able to think clearly, I don't want to feel so suffocated. Please help me._  
When she came back out into the Great Hall, she felt a little better. At least she knew what she wanted, even though she didn't know what she was feeling at the moment.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be taking a short break," said the lead singer of the band, and everyone clapped. The people on the dance floor were dispersing, so she grabbed a butterbeer and walked over to there to check out the band's musical instruments. Most of the instruments were the same as muggle ones, except the drum set, it had like fifteen different types of drums there. _Whoa_.

Then one of the guitarists opened a Coke can and turned around. "Lily?!"

Lily looked up at him. "Mark?!"

"What- y-what, you go to Hogwarts?!" he asked her, stepping down the stage to meet her.

"Yeah!" she said, amazed to see him. "You play in a band called _Runespoor's Revenge_?! You're a wizard?" she asked him. Lily couldn't believe it. This long-haired, snake-skin jacket wearing person was the the same clean-shaven, suit-wearing Mark she'd met at Petunia's wedding.

"Yes," he said. "Oh my God, it's so good to see you again," he said, hugging her.

"You too! How's Renée doing?" she asked.

"She's doing well, she's at her mother's for Christmas, I'm going down there after this gig tonight," said Mark. "Oh, I still can't believe it! Vernon's sister-in-law's a witch!"

Lily laughed. "I'm assuming Vernon doesn't know about your magical side," she said, and Mark shook his head. "But, you're his oldest friend! Why didn't you tell him?" she asked.

"Well, we'd moved to France when I turned eleven, and I went to school there. Vernon and I met only over the summers, so there was no need to tell him... and now, I feel like it's a bit too late to tell him," said Mark, with a sheepish smile. "Besides, it's easier this way, I don't know how he'd react."

"They think you're an accountant!" she said and chuckled.

"And I'd like to keep it that way," said Mark.

"Of course," said Lily. "I would say that's a good choice for now. Tunie and I told Vernon that I'm a witch after the wedding... he did not take it well..."

"Did he pull out bits of his mustache?" asked Mark, grinning.

"Oh my God he did!" she said, and they laughed.

"But this is so crazy and unexpected! I can't believe you play in one of the most famous bands in the Wizarding world!" she said excitedly.

Mark laughed. "Thank you, do you want to meet the other band members?" he asked.

"Definitely!"

So Mark introduced her to the other members, Nico, the drummer, Delilah played a small ancient looking piano, which Lily was sure had been charmed. Then there was Jack who played a number of instruments, and finally, Ruby, the other guitarist. They were all completely friendly and not snobbish at all.

"We're thinking of getting a flutist," said Mark, drinking his Coke. "Jack wants to change the feel of our music... add a bit of newness to it, you know."

"Sounds like a good idea," said Lily, chuckling.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked her.

"You're having a Coke in Hogwarts," she said.

"Very un-wizardly, I know," he said. "By the way, I don't think I've seen you on the dance floor yet."

Lily smiled at him. "I don't have a date," she told him.

"Nonsense, you don't need a date to dance," he said, putting the Coke can on the stage. "Hey Nico, mind singing that song you're always singing in the shower?"

"Yes, finally!" said the Nico the drummer, pointing his wand to his face. "We're gonna have a little change of pace for the next song, girls and boys. Hope you all know how to Cha-Cha!" All the people nearby cheered and clapped. Iker nearly squealed out of joy.

"No, I don't!" said Lily.

"It's easy to learn, come on, I'll show you," said Mark, leading her to the middle of the dance floor. "All you have to do is take three steps forward and three steps back, like this." Then he showed her. Lily tried it, but she was doing it wrong. "Don't put weight on your heel, let the transition be smooth and flowing."

"Ah, I get it now," said Lily gleefully.

"It's the same to the side," he said, moving to the left, and then back to the right. Lily copied him. "Perfect! Just follow my lead," he told her. "Nico, hit it, mate!"

A slow-paced but groovy tune started playing, which made everyone want to dance. Iker dragged Marlene onto the floor. " _Oye como va!_ " he sang along as he danced a perfect Cha-Cha. "This is an excellent song by Tito Puente!" he informed them all.

Marlene laughed at his excitement as she tried to follow along. "I love anything that makes Iker happy," she said to Lily, and nodding at Mark as she recognised him.

"Naturally," said Lily, as Mark took her hand and spun her around, and she chuckled, finally having fun.

The time was ten pm now. Marlene walked over to James' table and sat down next to him with a huff. "Did you see us on the dance floor? I didn't know Iker was this much of a _freak_!"

"M-hmm," said James, sipping his butterbeer, looking at the people dancing. "Is Lily dancing with the guitarist?"

Marlene chuckled. "That's Mark, he was Best Man at Lily's sister's wedding," she explained. "I thought he was a muggle, but that's obviously not true."

James rolled his eyes. "Best Man and the Maid-of-Honour, what a cliche," he said drily, and Marlene turned to look at him.

"If you must know, Lily wasn't the Maid-of-Honour," she said to him, and he glanced at her.

"What do you mean? How is that possible? Isn't she the only sister?" he asked her.

"Apparently the groom's mother wanted her daughter to be the Maid-of-Honour instead," Marlene told him, and he frowned.

"And they went along with it?" he asked incredulously.

"Lily and her sister don't get along," she said.

"I knew that, but I didn't think it was this bad," he said, looking over at Lily.

"Yeah, that's cos you're always talking about yourself," she said. "How _you're_ feeling, what _you_ want to do... Always telling, never asking, never listening."

"I tried to ask her!" he said vehemently. "She looked so sad, but she wouldn't tell me anything! She just kept saying she was fine!"

"When was this?" asked Marlene seriously.

"On Thursday," he told her.

"That's the day she got her reply from Petunia," said Marlene. "She was all hopeful about it too."

"Do you know what was in that letter?"

"No," said Marlene, looking at Lily. "But judging by what you say, it can't have been happy news."

Peony Parkinson, Salima Shafiq and Patricia Adams stood next to the dance floor, watching everyone. "Balbina Woods' dress is amazing," said Salima.

"Wait a second, I thought it was light blue, it looks green from over here," said Peony.

"It's green," Patricia confirmed.

"And Meadowes' dress, I think I saw that dress in Madam Malkin's catalogue last year," said Peony.

"Last year? Hmm," said Salima.

"Lily Evans doesn't look too bad," said Peony, smirking at Salima. "Even if her dress is, er, wonder which department store it's from!" And they laughed.

"Perhaps it's uh... prêt-à-porter?" said Salima sarcastically, and they giggled again.

"So what if it's not haute couture? The girl definitely knows her style," said Patricia. "And it hasn't stopped all the boys from ogling at her back. Look at Mulciber, he can't take his eyes off her. What a hypocrite!"

"You're right, she looks beautiful. Buach Murphy too, look look!" said Salima, and they laughed again.

"Aw look at Severus, he looks like the angriest shoe-billed stork to ever exist," said Peony, pointing to him. He was standing in a corner, staring at Lily.

"He _needs_ to move on," said Patricia, shaking her head, and they laughed again.

"Perhaps you can help him to," said Peony, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"No way!" said Patricia, pushing Peony away, and the two of them laughed again.

Salima didn't hear this part of their discussion, she was busy searching the crowd for her boyfriend. She finally spotted him, sitting at a table with Marlene McKinnon. She noticed that Marlene appeared to be cross about something. But that wasn't the only thing she noticed. James was glaring at someone on the dance floor. He was glaring at Lily. Then she turned to Severus, and he was glaring at Lily the exact same way. Salima left her friends and walked over to their table.

"Don't you think he's a bit old for her?" said James, and Marlene noticed his expression. She glanced at Lily and back at him.

"And why do _you_ care?" she asked, conveniently forgetting to tell him that Mark was a happily married man with a kid on the way.

"It was just a comment," said James, shrugging.

"I don't think it was, James," said Marlene, and he turned to face her. "I can't believe I thought you were a decent human being."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, getting angry.

"You know exactly what I mean, James," she said. "First you make Lily's life miserable. Then you're suddenly nice to her, and make her feel guilty for ever being rude to you, which I think was some tricky manipulation."

James just gaped at her. _What the hell?_

"Then you go and ask Shafiq out, which is great for everybody, because you finally leave Lily alone. But before we can thank Merlin and all the Gods for that miracle, you're back to square one!"

"Marlene, I-"

Marlene slapped him lightly, just to make him stop talking. "Who do you think you are, James? Are girls a _joke_ to you? Toying with two girls' emotions... Why are you getting jealous of Mark? Are you going to start making Lily feel all fucked up again? And please tell me where Shafiq fits into all this?"

"Nowhere," said Salima, and they both looked at her at the same time. "She fits in nowhere."

"Salima," James breathed.

Marlene covered her mouth with her hands in horror and looked up at James' face fearfully. "James, I'm so sorry..." she whispered.

"Marlene, please leave," he said and she quickly stood up and walked away.

 _Shit, shit, shit! Absolute crupshit! What have I done?_ Marlene exited the Great Hall and climbed the stairs. She was extremely preoccupied as she made her way to the nearest girls' bathroom, and didn't notice someone following her. She entered the bathroom, some cubicles were occupied, the others didn't look so good, so she went to the second floor bathrooms. It was empty. She cursed herself as she peed. _This is why the girls say I'm crass and thoughtless. That was such a sensitive topic to talk about, and I was telling him off in the middle of the Great Hall. What an idiot I am! Merlin, if they break up because of me, the guilt of it will haunt me forever._

"James, do you remember that day, when we were discussing about how Slughorn never grades essays consistently?" said Salima. James couldn't remember it, and she chuckled. "You don't remember, do you?" James didn't reply, and she went on. "I'll tel you why you can't remember it. Cos the whole time we were talking, you were unable to stop staring at the new sliver hoop earrings she was wearing."

James felt terrible. "Salima-"

"Do you love her?" she asked. James didn't say anything to that either. "Well, let me make it easier for you then," she said. "If she asked you out on a date right now, will you say 'yes'?"

"That will never happen," he said.

"Did you only ask me out because that will never happen?" she asked.

"No, I like you," he said.

"But you love her," she said, he hung his head. She moved closer to him and raised his head. "James, it's not a big deal if you are unable to admit the truth to me, but at least admit it to yourself."

"Yeah," he whispered.

"I'm sorry to do this," she said, hugging him. "But it's not fair on either of us if we continue to stay together."

"I think so too, I'm sorry, Salima," he said.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "As you constantly remind me, I am _very_ beautiful and have many admirers."

He smiled at her.

"Don't think I am disappointed in you, James," she said. "I can never be. I love love, and I will always be rooting for it. I'll be rooting for you, you deserve to be happy."

But that just made him feel more miserable. "That date to Honeydukes will be my favourite trip to Honeydukes ever," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Salima laughed. "Good."

Minerva had decided to make rounds to check if everything was alright. She strolled into the Clock Tower courtyard, and jumped up onto the wall of the antique fountain that was surrounded by eagles, and looked around. _Hmm, must almost be eleven, I should head back to the Great Hall._  
Then as she watched, the door opened again and the shadow of a large four-legged thing appeared, followed by the owner of the said shadow. The great black dog trotted nonchalantly into the courtyard until it caught Minerva's scent and looked up at her. _Uh_ - _oh_.

"Who are you? Where did you come from?" Minerva asked suspiciously.

The dog quickly turned around and ran back inside.

"Wait, stop!" yelled Minerva and quickly followed the dog. _How did this dog get into the castle?!_ She ran after the dog as fast as she could, but it was faster. Sylvia Montgomery and Lawrence Higgs were walking along East Wing, holding hands, and the dog ran past them in a flash. Minerva ran after the dog, but she got distracted by the students. _Now wait a second, what are these two up to? They better not be doing what I think they're doing!_  
But she couldn't stop to enquire, she needed to catch up to the dog, so she increased her speed. As she ran past the portraits of Damara Dodderidge and Temeritus Shanks, they looked down at her in awe.

Sirius was desperate. Things would not end well for him if McGonagall caught up to him. In a corridor on the seventh floor, he panicked, unable to find a hiding place, and suddenly there was a broom cupboard there. _Wait, was this cupboard always here? Who cares?_  
He quickly got in and hid inside it. Then he realised that McGonagall could probably smell him and follow him into it, so he transformed back into human form and stepped out into the corridor again. She wasn't there, so he quickly walked away, not realising that the broom cupboard was melting back into the wall behind him. When Minerva reached the corridor, the scent trail of the dog stopped abruptly, and she never discovered the origin of the dog until years later. She even asked Mrs. Norris if she'd seen a big, black dog, Mrs. Norris had never seen a dog like that, but had heard rumours of such a dog in the Forbidden Forest. It was actually lucky that Minerva didn't think to ask the students' pet cats, otherwise Coco would have readily told her that one of the boys she lived with, often changed into a huge, black dog at will.

Downstairs in the East Wing, Lawrence turned to Sylvia in bewilderment. "Please tell me you also saw a bear-sized dog being chased by a small but determined cat just now?!" he said.

Sylvia laughed. "I thought it was the Grim! I nearly had a heart attack until I saw the cat behind it!" exclaimed Sylvia.

Then they chuckled in relief and incredulity. "The things you see at Hogwarts!"

"Merlin!"


	92. Purple Face Mask

**Author's note: So thankful for the guest reviews I've gotten recently. You are all _so_ kind, ily!  
My English has improved since I started writing :)  
The main reason I am able to write everyday, is because I've already written the basic outline of my story. But of course, that outline is changing constantly, haha. Some things are randomly easier to write, and some things are harder, and I have no idea why. Sometimes, ideas flow, and other times I'm stuck on a single paragraph for four hours. Its _insane_! Things get added and subtracted to plot line almost every time I sit down to write :D :D I love the whole experience.**

* * *

As Marlene washed her hands, the bathroom door opened and someone walked in. She turned to see who it was and was surprised. "Corban, what are you doing here? This is the girls' bathroom."

He didn't say anything, he just walked up to her.

"Are you so soused that you can't tell the difference between the girls' and boys' loos?" she asked him.

"Marlene, can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Sure, what's up?" she asked him.

"Am I a bad person?" he asked her.

"What? Why are you asking me that? Go ask your friends," she said, drying her hands on the towel.

"But I've only thought of _you_ as my friend, since we were children," he said, trying to garner her pity.

"Really?" she asked, not believing him. They did used to be friends as children, but then he'd changed so much, he'd become this weird, fake and irritating show-off who never even tried to listen to what she had to say anymore. So she had ditched him.

"Yeah," he said, coming even closer and putting his hand on her shoulder. "I do."

"Well, look, you're not a bad person, but I have to admit you're extremely annoying and frustrating," she told him. "And you've hurt my feelings many times. Also, some of the decisions you make are not morally ethical."

"I'm sorry," he said, hugging her, and she didn't feel like hugging him back at all, and she pushed him off.

"Don't hug me without my permission," she told him clearly.

"But you're the only one for me," he said, moving nearer to her again.

"What?" she said, confused.

"Marlene, I like you," he said, and suddenly kissed her.

She pushed him off again. "What the fuck are you doing, Corban?!" she said, angrily.

"Marlene please, stop thinking about that Gomez, for once," he pleaded.

"Excuse me," she said to him. "Of course I'm loyal to my boyfriend, Corban, but even if I was single, I would have never allowed you to kiss me. I just don't think of you that way." He made a sad face, but she didn't care. "Now, move out of the way."

He moved, but as she tried to walk past him, he grabbed her hand. "Corban, _let go of my hand!_ " she said, and tried wrenching it from his grasp, but his grip was too tight. "You are hurting me!" She thought of taking her wand out and using _Relashio,_ the Revulsion Charm, on him, but he quickly let go.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he said. She quickly walked to the door, but he overtook her and blocked the door.

"What are you doing? Move," she said, feeling scared for the first time.

"Please don't go, Marlene," he said. He appeared to be pleading, but he wasn't moving. He wasn't _really_ giving her a choice.

And she could see that. She'd had enough. She put her hand inside her dress and took out her wand, which she had placed inside her bra strap. She pointed it at him. "Move or I'll hex you," she said angrily.

He didn't expect that she would have her wand with her, but he quickly took out his wand as well. "You wouldn't dare..." he said, and that made her angrier. Not only did he think he could have his way with her, he was also extremely confident that she wouldn't last in a duel with him.

"I would so dare," she said, pointing her wand straight at him. He waved his wand, and with the wave, she knew what charm he was shooting at her.

She deflected his charm easily. "Too scared to duel with me, are you? Is that why you want to disarm me?" she asked.

He screwed up his mouth in rage and shot another nonverbal _Ventus_ jinx at her. A powerful wind blew at her, and it was so strong, she felt herself be pushed back by it's force. Then she cast a hex-breaker charm to stop it.

" _Stupefy_!" the yelled at the same time, and the two red streaks collided in the middle, and changed direction, one hitting the mirror and cracking it, one hitting a wall.

"Looks like we both had the same idea," he said, and smirked.

"Are you bored or something, Corban? Is this entertainment for you?" she asked.

"No, it's not," he said.

"Then step aside and let me go, and we can forget this ever happened," she said.

Without replying, he waved his wand in a complicated manner, and a gash appeared on her thigh, and it started bleeding right away.

"Ow," she said, putting a hand on it.

"You're lucky it wasn't much higher," he said disgustingly.

She sent an all-body-bind at him but he deflected it. But she sent it at him again, which he didn't expect, and both his hands snapped to his side, and he keeled over and fell to the floor. She slowly walked over to him and knelt down beside him. His eyes met hers, the only part of his body he could move, and he glared at her.

"Corban, listen to me very carefully," she said. "Girls are not your playthings. In fact, _no one_ is your plaything. You cannot just demand anything you want from others, especially love and affection. These things _are_ given freely, but only when the person wants to. And just because I wear a short dress or talk nicely to you, it doesn't magically give you permission to do what you want. I wear this dress because _I_ want to, not to attract anyone. The sooner you understand this, the better. Oh, and also, never try and talk to me again, or I will tell everyone what you tried to do tonight."  
Then she stepped over him and walked out, leaving the door open, so that one of the patrolling Aurors would spot him.

Yaxley lay there, fuming, waiting, plotting his revenge. He didn't understand that what he'd done was wrong. But he did understand that listening to people like Gibbon wasn't a good thing. Gibbon was one of those cowards who would say anything they wanted, but would never dare to act on their word. _The bloody idiot!_

Marlene went to the Hospital wing, but Madam Pomfrey wasn't there. She went into the office herself and found some cotton to clean the wound on her thigh. It didn't look like it was going to stop bleeding anytime soon, so she looked for _Essence of Dittany_. She found it and applied it on the gash, and it healed quickly. _Thank Merlin_.  
She went back down to the Entrance Hall where everyone was going back to their dormitories. "I want all students to go straight to their Common rooms, no _detours_ please," said Professor McGonagall sternly. "Prefects, lead your Houses to your Common rooms."

Dorcas was standing beside Minerva and she spotted Marlene coming down the stairs. "Professor, look," she said, nodding towards Marlene.

"Everything alright, Ms. McKinnon?" Minerva asked her, unusually kindly.

"Yes, I'm fine, professor," said Marlene. _Should have checked my reflection in the bathroom before leaving._

Dorcas stood on her tiptoes and waved to Lily. "She's over here," she said.

"Hey Marlene, we've been looking all over for you," said Lily. Alice and Frank were with her.

"Oh, I've just been to the bathroom," she told her.

"Yeah? Are you alright?" asked Alice.

"Of course," said Marlene.

"Mi amor, there you are!" said Iker, walking over to her. "Are you alright?" he asked her, frowning.

"I'm fine, why does everyone keep asking me that?" Marlene asked them.

"Well honey, you look awfully pale, and your hair is a bit ruffled," Alice told her, smoothing her hair.

 _Oh. That Ventus Charm..._ "Er, I'm quite tired," said Marlene.

"Are you hungry? You didn't eat much," said Iker.

Marlene looked at his face. _Thank Godric he's so decent._ "I'm not hungry, babe," she said, hugging him. "I love you."

"I love you too," said Iker happily.

"Come on Gryffindors," said Jones, from the top of the stairs. Remus was with him, so Sirius and Peter quickly joined them.

"Hmm, where's your fourth? Not up to further tricks tonight, is he?" said Jones suspiciously.

Marlene heard this and looked around. James wasn't there. _Oh no._

"For once, we have no idea where he is," said Peter, also looking around.

"Well, I couldn't find Salima either, so..." said Remus, and Jones looked slightly scandalised.

The Marauders laughed at his expression. "So they're off shagging then," said Sirius. "Good for him."

Marlene hoped that this was true, because then that meant they didn't break up. But she knew it wasn't likely.

When the Marauders reached their dorm, they found James' bed curtains closed. Sirius went and checked. James was fast asleep, still dressed in his maroon dress robes. He hadn't even taken off his shoes. Coco was also asleep beside his pillow. "Wait, he's asleep," he told the others in a low voice. "And he's fully clothed too."

"What? When did he come back?" asked Peter.

"No idea," whispered Sirius.

"Is he alright? Check for a fever," said Remus, walking over.

Sirius put his hand gently on his forehead. "Nope, no fever."

"Perhaps he was just tired?" said Remus uncertainly.

"Then why didn't he tell us?" said Sirius.

"Should we take his shoes off?" asked Remus.

"No, he'll wake up," said Sirius, shutting his curtains again. "Let's just leave him."

The girls talked about the ball for a while, then they changed and went to sleep, all except Marlene. She tossed and turned, unable to sleep, filled with guilt. Then she finally got out of bed, put her jumper on and went to the Marauders' dorm. She slowly opened the door, wincing as it creaked, and walked over to James' bed. Coco jumped down from the bed and meowed shrilly at her, waking up all four boys.

"S _hshsh_ ," said Marlene, picking her up. Peter lay in his bed, frozen out of fear, wondering who the intruder was. Remus slowly reached for his wand, while Sirius peeked through his curtains.

Marlene reached James' bed and opened his curtains. His eyes flicked towards her. "What?" he asked her in a low voice.

"I just came to check on you," she whispered. The other three recognised her voice. They wondered what was going on.

"Well, you have, now go back to bed," he told her.

"James, I'm so sorry," she said.

"Okay," he said dully, looking away.

"What happened?" she asked, and he looked back at her bleakly, and she understood.

"Oh no, James, I'm really sorry, it's all my fault," she said.

James felt a lump in his throat. "It's really not," he said, and his eyes filled with tears.

"Oh no, are you crying?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm not, now go away, I really don't want to talk," he said. His voice sounded teary and Sirius threw his covers off and walked over to him. Remus lit the candles again.

"Prongs, are you okay?" asked Sirius, pushing the curtains apart. "Marly, what happened?"

James didn't respond, he turned and hid his face in his pillow.

"They broke up," said Marlene mournfully, even she had tears in her eyes. "And it's all my fault."

Sirius tried to turn James' face. "James," said Sirius. "Just turn around."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked Marlene.

She put Coco down on the bed. "I don't think I can tell you, I said a lot of things," she said, wiping her eyes and sitting down on his bed.

"You were right, Marlene, you were right about everything," said James, wiping his eyes and finally sitting up. Sirius put his hand on his shoulder.

Marlene shook her head. _I was so harsh._

"No, it's true, we both agreed with you," said James, matter-of-factly. Then he looked at the other three, who were all super-curious. James looked down at his palms. "I- " but he couldn't go on, he didn't know what his friends would say if he mentioned Lily's name again.

Marlene glanced at him, understanding. "Lily was dancing with Mark-"

" _Oh my God_ ," Peter blurted out. Remus put his hand on the bridge of his nose.

"Shut up, Peter," Marlene told him, and he held up his hands in surrender. "I yelled at James for- for looking at her, and Salima heard us arguing..."

"Oh no," said Remus.

"We talked about it and we agreed that we shouldn't- you know," said James.

"I'm sorry," said Marlene again.

"You did nothing wrong," said James. "It was inevitable, I guess."

Marlene glanced at him. "Don't worry, I won't go back to harassing Lily," he told her. Sirius and Remus exchanged looks.

Then she stood up, and gave Sirius a look that meant, 'Take care of him,' and left.

"I'm so sorry, James," said Remus, putting his hand on James' knee. James nodded, looking down at his palms.

"Prongs," said Sirius.

"I thought that if I move on, I'd be able to forget about Lily, you know," said James without looking up. "Salima is _so_ nice, she told me she would be rooting for me," he said, and his eyes filled with tears again. "Isn't that ridiculous? I don't know what the heck I'm doing with my life!"

"James, it's okay," said Sirius, hugging him. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," said James. "Why am I like this? Why am I so pathetic?"

"You are not pathetic," said Peter unexpectedly. "Please. Don't say that again."

"But even though I know the truth, even though I know so well, that it will never happen, I still can't get over her, if that's not pathetic, I don't know what is," said James.

Sirius fleetingly glanced at Remus before turning to James again. "Look, maybe... um..." said Sirius. He wanted to tell James that they thought perhaps Lily liked him too, but they weren't a hundred percent sure of it, so he didn't know what to say exactly.

"And you know what Marlene said to me tonight?" said James, looking really upset. "She said that I had made Lily's life _miserable_ all these years. And now that I was with Salima, they had all thought what a miracle it was, that I was finally leaving Lily alone!"

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other again. Now they weren't sure at all. That sounded like Lily was very happy to be shot of James.

"Salima is such an angel," said James. "But even she doesn't want to be with me because I can't get over my ridiculous obsession."

"It's not ridiculous," said Remus.

"But it is," said James, shaking his head. "It is."

The four boys sat on the bed silently for a while. Then James sniffed. "Look, I know the three of you have far worse problems than I do, I feel like I have no right to cry over something like this... but I feel pretty crappy right now."

"You are _allowed_ to feel crappy, Prongs," Remus told him clearly. "Don't ever compare things like that."

"James, when I ran away from home, I was very happy," said Sirius. "I was ecstatic, because I was finally free. But I don't know if you know this, but one night, I sat up in my bed and cried for almost an hour, not because my parents had hit me, but because I had left them. I know I must sound crazy right now, but the death of any relationship can be painful. My parents were the worst people, but I still felt bad."

"But none of that was your fault, though. Whereas this is my fault," said James.

"You and Salima liked each other, James. You had a good thing, and now you broke up. No matter whose fault it was, no matter the reason, you're allowed to be sad," said Sirius. "Really."

"Okay," said James, nodding.

Remus went to his cupboard and brought out a chocolate bar and handed it to Sirius. Sirius smiled at Remus and showed it to James. "Look, Prongs, chocolate," he said, and James snatched it out of his hands and tore the wrapper away and bit into it diagonally, and not according to the squares.

Remus's eyes widened as he watched James eat it so haphazardly. _What blasphemy!_ But he didn't say anything.

The next day, the sixth years slowly started realising that, on this side of Christmas, the second term appeared so much closer, and that none of them had even started on their homework. So, over the next couple of days, they all busied themselves with finishing essays, doing the readings they were supposed to do, and even revising tough concepts they'd learnt over the term. Peter internally thanked Professor McGonagall for not allowing him to continue with Charms, when he saw all the difficult charms the other three had to practise for Flitwick.

One night, Lily stood in front of her bathroom mirror, applying a face mask, and she heard the dorm door open and her three roommates walked in. Mary was telling the other two about a juicy bit of gossip she'd found out. Apparently a seventh year Slytherin had been suspended for setting fire to a painting on the fourth floor, on the night of the Ball, and it was hilarious. The bathroom door wasn't shut completely, so Lily could hear everything clearly.

"Hey Mary, I have some news that you don't know yet," said Marlene, after they all had finished laughing.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" asked Mary.

"James and Salima broke up," she said.

"What!" the other two yelled at the same time.

" _When_?" asked Mary, and Marlene chuckled.

"Tell us quickly, Marlene," said Alice.

"On the night of the Ball," said Marlene. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want Lily to know."

"What do you mean?" asked Alice.

"Er," said Marlene. "Because I didn't want her to worry about him bothering her again. He told me very clearly he won't be doing that."

"Hmm, where is Lily anyway?" asked Alice.

"Probably gone to the library with Remus, she was saying earlier that she had a reading to do in Arithmancy," said Mary.

"Well, okay, but why did they break up?" asked Alice.

Marlene didn't feel like telling them what had happened. She thought it might give them a bad impression of James. And because she already blamed herself for causing/expediting their break-up, she didn't want to be the cause of this too. And, she didn't want the other two to scold her or guilt-trip her further, because she was already doing a good job of feeling guilty herself. "You'll have to ask James, yourselves," she told them.

"Hmm," said Mary. "I wonder what happened."

"Maybe I'll ask Frank and see if he knows," said Alice. "Poor James, this is probably why we haven't seen the Marauders much."

"Yeah, the only time I saw them in the past two days was for breakfast yesterday," said Mary.

Then they heard a knock on the door. "Come in," said Alice.

"Hi girls, a bunch of us are playing Exploding Snap in Adelaide's room, do you want to join us?" asked Milla Larsen.

"Yes, count me in," said Mary, getting to her feet.

"Yeah, me too," said Alice.

"Okay," said Marlene, and the three of them followed Milla out of the room.

Lily heard the dormitory door close and looked at herself in the mirror. Her purple face was already dry and tight, so she quickly opened the tap to wash the mask off. But in the middle of washing, she started crying. And she was so overwhelmed, she had to lower herself to the ground. She sat on the bathroom floor and cried. She wondered why she was crying. _Shouldn't I be happy that James is single? Why am I crying?_  
She _was_ happy, perhaps she was crying out of relief, but she was also crying about when James was with Salima. And she was crying now because she had been so strict with herself, she hadn't allowed herself to feel her feelings properly. Now that he was single again, she felt like she had permission to think of him in that way. It was like the floodgates of a dam had been opened, and once she started, she couldn't stop. She cried about everything else she hadn't allowed herself to cry about - about Petunia's harsh, hurtful words, about the war that had already taken so many lives, then her mind came back to James, and she cried because of how hurt she had been every time she had seen James and Salima together, how abandoned that had made her feel, even though she knew she fully deserved it. _Jesus Christ, my life is a fucking sham!  
_ Then she cried some more about how idiotic she had been, even though she knew at the back of her head, that her being in denial was probably just a coping technique.  
After twenty minutes, she slowly calmed down, and wiped her eyes. Her head was clearer now than it had been in ages, she no longer felt suffocated by her thoughts, nothing was forbidden, nothing was out of bounds. The universe had listened to her message. Now she knew exactly what she wanted, and she chuckled to herself as she understood what Johnny Nash had meant when he sang, ' _I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind'_.  
She thought of what Dorcas had told her about James. Dorcas had said that there was no one like him, that his heart was the purest. That it was a privilege for any girl to date him.  
Was it really ego that had prevented her from saying yes to James? _No_. First, Petunia had essentially stopped being her sister when she had come to school. Then Severus had gone and done that, turned the tables on her. _Maybe I was just scared to get close to someone again._  
The fear had stopped her from taking a chance again. But not anymore, she decided. If Sirius hadn't taken a chance and confessed his love to Remus, they wouldn't have been together. She would do the same. All these years, James had taken the initiative, but now she was going to. She remembered Marlene saying that James had assured her that he wasn't going to bother her, so she might have to start bothering him now.


	93. Alchemy

Lily didn't have to think up an excuse, she already had one - study with Remus. They usually studied in the library, but in order for her to be able to spend any time with James, they'd have to remain in the Common room, cos the Marauders rarely came to the library, unless coerced. So, she thought about it, and then sat at a table in the Common room and opened her books, waiting for Remus.

Remus came along five minutes later. "Ready to go?" he asked her.

"Er, is it alright if we study here today?" she asked.

"But all the books we need are in the library," he said.

"No, I've borrowed the ones we might need already," she said, showing him a pile of books in the seat next to her.

"But why?" he asked her.

"Alice and Marlene have something they need to discuss with me, they needed me to stay here," she told him, looking a little shifty. She could never act, and it made him suspicious.

"Is this about James?" he asked her.

"What? No!" she said, a little too loudly and he was taken aback. She thought he'd discovered her secret plan, but then she realised there was no way he could have. But he definitely looked suspicious now. "What do you mean?" she asked him quickly.

"What do they want to talk to you about?" he asked her, pulling up a chair and sitting down beside her. He thought Marlene and Alice were going to tell her about James' break-up, and warn her to stay away from him, just in case.

"How would I know?" she said.

"Fine," he said, deciding that if Marlene hadn't told her yet, it would be better for him not to mention it at all. "Let's just get started on the problem sheet. What was the first one? Florean Probability?"

"Hang on," she said, feigning ignorance. "Why did you think it was about James?"

 _Fuck me and my big mouth_. "No reason," he said, knowing she wouldn't believe him. She had this knack of getting things out of him.

"No no no," she said, leaning in, looking very interested. "Tell me, you wouldn't mention him if there was no reason."

"Listen, Lily," he said. "I can't tell you if you don't already know."

"But how would you know if I know about it or not, if you don't tell me what it is, I should know?" she asked him.

"Fair point, but if you had already known, you would also immediately know why I mentioned him," said Remus. Then he quickly pulled his books out of his bag, and opened them, trying to look busy.

Lily watched him flip the pages of the Arithmancy textbook, and she got the feeling that, not only was Remus trying to hide from her the news about James' break-up, but there was also something else he was not telling her. She wanted to ask him what that other matter was, but she couldn't put it in words. So she looked at what page he was on. "Weren't you absent for Florean Probability?" she asked him.

He nodded. "I was fast asleep in the Hospital wing instead," he said, grinning. Even though he hated missing classes because of his lycanthropy, the long nap he took directly after his transformations, was his deepest and most restful nap in the whole month.

"Do you want me to explain it to you?" she asked him.

"Yeah, Professor Rothschild said that you'd answered all the questions correctly in class that day, he told me to ask you to explain it to me," he said.

"Wow, did he really say that?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, nodding and pushing the textbook towards her.

"Okay. So there was this Arithmancy bloke called Florean Plumpton..." Lily started explaining to him everything she had learnt that day.

Remus was very frustrated. He tended to get frustrated when he didn't understand concepts. "So what? You're saying it can have any number of probability interpretations?! How is that even legal?" he asked her crossly.

She bit back a chuckle. "Not any number, it depends on the available magical evidence," she told him.

Suddenly, Sirius came up behind them and covered Remus' eyes. Remus growled and roughly removed his hand. "Sirius, we are studying, get lost!" he said, without turning around.

"Oh alright, no need to get physical," said Sirius, wringing his hand, and Lily could see he was in pain. It looked like Remus had crushed his hand, unintentionally, that is. He moved around Lily and sat on the other side of her and smiled at her. "Hi Lily."

Lily was about to say hi to him, when Peter and James walked up to their table as well. "Hey," she said.

"Hi Lily," said Peter, sitting down beside Sirius.

"Enough with the hellos," said Remus impatiently. "Can we get back to the stupid theorem please?"

Lily saw James and Peter exchange knowing looks before taking their books out. "Remus, just learn the theorem first. It's very important, it's the basis of all Florean statistics," she told him.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked incredulously. "We have a whole lesson on this?"

"Yeah," she said.

"Oh, what..." said Remus. "But why?"

"The more magical evidence we have emerging, the more probabilities you'll have-"

"What!"

"Remus, just learn the theorem, then I'll show you a few simple examples," she told him patiently. "I promise you'll understand it then."

"Alright," he said, copying the formula down.

Sirius and James smiled at each other, appreciating how patient she was with Remus. After a while, Remus started to get the hang of it. "Good. Yeah, that's correct," said Lily. "See, you understand now. Right?" she asked him.

"I guess," he asked, putting his quill down.

"Well, in that case, I must tell you that I think you may have bruised Sirius' hand when you removed it from your eyes," she told him.

"What!" said Remus, holding out his hands at Sirius. "Show me."

"My hand is fine," said Sirius immediately.

"Don't lie, I saw you nursing your hand earlier," she said, pulling his hand from his lap and examining it. It was indeed a little bruised.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry, Padfoot," said Remus, taking his hand.

"See, this is why I don't tell you," said Sirius, taking back his hand. "You get so guilty."

"But he should feel guilty," said Lily strictly.

"I do!" said Remus.

"And what do you mean, 'I don't tell you'?" she demanded. "Has this happened before?"

Sirius didn't say anything.

"Has it?" asked Remus. "Oh Godric, it has, hasn't it?"

"Yes." It was Peter who answered. "Once."

"Peter!" said Sirius.

"No, tell me, what did I do?" asked Remus.

"Well, last month, you were going down to the Kitchens that night, and if you remember, Sirius wanted to come with you," said Peter.

"Yeah?"

"You didn't want him to, so you pushed him back into the dorm and shut the door," said Peter. "But I don't think you realised how hard you pushed him, he actually fell back on to my bed, and if my bed hadn't been there, he would've been thrown onto the floor."

" _'Thrown onto the floor'_ is such an exaggeration," said Sirius loudly. "I just fell on the bed, it was nothing-"

"It wasn't _nothing_ -"

"Peter, shut up!"

You shut up, you liar!" said Peter, and Sirius looked mutinous.

"Why didn't you tell me, Sirius?" asked Remus. "I'm so sorry. I guess I sometimes don't realise my own strength..."

"I didn't want you to feel guilty, you often feel really really guilty about things," said Sirius.

Remus didn't know what to say. Of course he'd feel guilty about that! _Did I really push him so hard? And his hand..._ "Show me your hand," he asked again.

Sirius reluctantly put his hand in Remus' hands. "Oh no," said Remus. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"No," said Sirius immediately, smiling at him. "I know you didn't do it on purpose."

"I'm sorry," said Remus for the fourth time. "Please tell me next time."

"Because if you tell him, he'll keep it in mind and be more conscious next time," said Lily fairly.

"Conscious? Or unnaturally hyper-conscious? I hate it when he does that," said Sirius. "It's what happened when you had that stupid dream."

"It's okay," said Remus, smiling at him. "I'll try not to be hyper-conscious."

Then everyone went back to their studying again, but after a while, Lily realised that Remus and Sirius weren't actually studying at all. One look at their expressions suggested that they were playing footsie under the table. She slowly extended her feet and touched their with hers. They slowly turned their faces to look at her, and she grinned.  
"My my," she said, and Peter and James looked at her. "During the dance, Mark and Iker kept telling me about the footwork required for the Cha-Cha, but this footwork looks way more interesting to me."

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other and chuckled at her joke.

"Gosh, you two are so _excessive_ ," she said, and they quickly stopped doing whatever they were doing, and went back to their books.

James smiled indulgently at her. "Definitely," he said, agreeing with her.

"Yes, most excessive, like unwanted algal blooms," said Peter loudly.

"Oh come on, Peter, it is cute," said Lily.

"Cute? You say that after hearing the sounds that were coming from the showers this morning!" said Peter, looking disturbed, but the others merely laughed at him. Sirius blushed a little.

Then, James remembering his promise to Marlene, quickly went back to his notes, and the others did the same. After studying quietly for a couple of hours, Lily discreetly looked up at James, he appeared to be reading a Potions handout.  
"Do you two remember what Professor Slughorn said about those organisms living near hydrothermal vents in the ocean?" she asked, looking at Sirius and James, hoping James would answer her. And he did.

"Yes, they're called tubeworms," said James. "He said they had no mouth, no anus, and no gut, they're just like a tube of bacteria with a gill on one end. He said they're especially potent potions ingredients because of their proximity to-"

"Lily!" said Alice, breathlessly walking up to them. "Sorry to disturb you guys, but I need to speak with you?"

Lily looked up at her. _Nooo_. She had asked Alice to come and get her in the middle, just so Remus would believe that her excuse to stay in the Common room was genuine. But this was the worst timing ever! James had just started talking to her, even if it was just explaining about potions ingredients. She saw Remus watching Alice suspiciously and she couldn't think clearly. "I'm sorry," she said to James. "I'll be back soon."

"That's alright, we were thinking of going down to lunch anyway," said Sirius, closing his books. "Yeah?"

Remus nodded and closed his books. "Yeah, let's go," said Peter. James wordlessly put his books into his bag and followed the other three out of the Portrait hole.

"I'm really sorry, Lily!" said Alice. "I know you said to come and get you at around eleven, but I was with Frank and I totally forgot!"

"That's alright," said Lily, resignedly climbing up the stairs with her.

"Why did you want me to get you anyway?" asked Alice.

"It wasn't anything serious, Alice, I just needed a break..." said Lily.

"Were any of them annoying you?" Alice asked her, and Lily knew she meant James.

"Not at all, they were all fine. Why?" Lily asked her.

"Really?" asked Alice skeptically, and Lily actually felt a little stab of annoyance.

She wanted to tell them off for giving James a little too less credit. He hadn't annoyed her much this year. In fact, he'd been a good friend to her. But to say that, she'd have to admit she had overheard them talking and that she knew about his break-up. And if she told them that, she wondered if they would even allow her to sit with the Marauders entirely... and then arguments would ensue, and she would have to admit to them that she liked James now. And she didn't think she could tell anyone that, yet. She felt like even talking about it would jinx it.  
"Yeah, I've become friends with them now, even Sirius and James are perfectly nice to me now," she said casually.

"Oh, alright," said Alice.

Lily sat on her bed and sighed. Today's plan hadn't been the best, but it hadn't been an entire flop either. It was a start. At least she now knew that James was fine with explaining concepts to her. Remus surprisingly had had no problem sitting in the noisy Common room to study today, but conveniently for her, Professor McGonagall had set them a rather complicated essay that would take all of them a lot of research in the library to complete. And James was good at Transfiguration too. _Hmm...  
_ This was all great for Lily, but James had suffered today. He didn't know of her plan, and every time he had looked at Lily today, he'd felt a longing so powerful, it was physical. Her gorgeous red hair and her emerald eyes would definitely haunt his dreams tonight, whether he liked it or not.

On Wednesday, Lily didn't even need to come up with a plan. Sirius actually asked Lily and Remus if he and the other Marauders could join them in the library, to try and finish that difficult essay for McGonagall. And so, Lily and Remus 'let' the other Marauders join them in the library, much to Lily's delight, to but Madam Pince's chagrin. Madam Pince was almost sure this was a bad idea. She mournfully wondered which aisle she would have to put out fires in today.

As the five of them sat a table in the Transfiguration section, Lily came across a law which she never could understand. "I never understood Duchicela's law before," she said, looking at James, and he was thoroughly shocked.

"What! But we learnt that way back in fourth year!" he said.

"I know," she said. "It was the only law I never understood. I don't know why, but somehow, I could never wrap my head around it."

And since James was a self-professed expert in Transfiguration, he enthusiastically started to explain the concept to her. But she still didn't get it. "Hmm, I think I understand what your problem is," he said after a while. "There's a book here that details all of the research Duchicela had done, prior to coming up with the law. If you read that, I'm sure you'd understand it."

"Okay," she said, nodding.

"Okay, I'll go and get the book for you," he said excitedly, and got up and disappeared into the aisles of the -fig section.

Lily sat there for a few moments, and then she wondered why she was sitting here, when she could be alone with him in the aisles instead. So she got up and went to look for him.

The three Marauders looked at each other gleefully. "I wonder what's gonna happen now," said Peter, grinning.

"Let's not jinx it," said Sirius, and the other two nodded.

"Be cool," said Remus to himself.

Lily searched the aisles for James and found him in the third one. "Hey," she said and walked over to him.

"Great, you're here," he said and pulled out the book from the shelf and riffled through it. "Now I just have to find the page…"

She smiled and moved closer to him.

"Yes! Found it," he said happily and pointed out the chapter to her. "Read this, look. Do you know what Transmutation is?"

"Yeah, of course, it's the conversion of one chemical element to another," she said.

"Exactly," he said, grinning. " No one from our year have taken Alchemy as an elective, but I think that's more because people just think Alchemy focuses on transmuting base metals to gold, but it's so much more than that. Duchicela started off his research as one of those alchemists. His initial focus was on the _Primum ens Melissae_ , and that got him into Transmutation. Then he-"

They heard footsteps and instinctively looked up. Severus Snape came into view, he seemed to be reading a checklist. He turned into the aisle, looked up at them, and sort of froze. _What? What are they doing together? Lily?!_

Lily blushed under Severus' intense gaze. And she remembered every single conversation they had had about James over the years. Severus had been telling her for years, what an imbecile and a show-off James was, and that she shouldn't make friends with him. And here she was, doing the very thing he'd been afraid of. She couldn't stay there for a single moment more, she needed to get out of there! She took the book from James' hands and walked away, leaving the two enemies glaring at each other.

"What do you want? Haven't you annoyed her enough?" James asked Severus.

"You should honestly get a medal for your incredulity, Potter," said Severus meanly. " _You're_ talking to _me_ about annoying people? What, did you annoy her into making friends with you?"

James didn't have any retort for that comment.

Severus smiled sarcastically. "That's right, Potter, I know every single thing you did," he said.

"You actually know nothing of importance," said James simply, and Severus felt like he'd been slapped in the face.

"You think you can make her happy? You're so _fucking_ shallow, she'll realise it soon enough," Severus said savagely.

" _I'm_ not the shallow one, Snape," said James. "I'm not the one who thinks ridiculous, redundant concepts like blood purity are more important than friendship." Then he sighed. "And there's nothing to realise. She'll realise it, and then what? Do you think she'll come back to _you_?"

Severus had his wand out. "Get out of here before I hex your arse," he threatened.

"This isn't your library," James replied, but walked away anyway.

Severus stared at the empty aisle and clutched the bookshelf for support as he blinked back angry tears. _I'm not the one who thinks ridiculous, redundant concepts like blood purity are more important than friendship... I'm not the one who thinks ridiculous, redundant concepts like blood purity are more important than friendship..._ The torturous sentence played in his mind over and over again. Severus definitely hated James Potter. He hated him for all the bullying, all the showing off, all the wrong things about him. And he could never forgive him for those. But more than that, he could never forgive Potter for being right. It was true, even if he couldn't admit it to himself. He had picked blood purity over friendship, and now he was paying the price.  
Severus picked a book out of a shelf and threw it onto the floor in saturated frustration. _Fuuuuuck!_  
Then he looked at the book on the floor, the binding had come off. He sighed, and bent down and picked up the book off the ground, and dusted it. Then he took out his wand, and repaired it non-verbally. Severus had too much respect for books to vandalise them like that.  
 _What the heck? How could I do that?_  
He stood there, thinking about Lily. And the Marauders. It was their fault, really, Black and Potter. They had provoked him so badly. And he knew they had done it on purpose so that he's let something like that slip in front of Lily. And he'd been so stupid, he'd taken the bait. And he decided he hated the Marauders. He hated them. And he especially hated James for ruining his life. Lily was never ever going to forgive him and it was all his fault.

But what Severus failed to realise, was that it wasn't James' fault really. The _mudblood_ thing was just the last straw for Lily. For Lily, it had really been his lying, his pro-death eater ideas, his associations... but mostly, it had been the way he never gave a shit about her opinions any more. He had always expected her to understand his position, and she had, to the best of her abilities. But what he had never done was, try to understand her position as a muggleborn in this war. When you're a muggleborn, when you're on the other side, receiving all the hate, it becomes hard to be so understanding after a while.  
Severus wiped the tears remaining on his face and slowly put the book back in the shelf. Lily. Lovely Lily. Angelic Lily. How he loved her. And he knew he'd love her forever. There would be no on else.

When James reached the table, Lily wasn't there. "Where is she?" he asked.

"She just left, mate," said Sirius, grimacing.

"What?" said James, and he sat down heavily in the chair. _"Fuck!"_

"What happened?!" asked Peter.

"I was just explaining Duchicela's research to her, and that _complete_ _arse, Snivellus_ shows up," James said and the other three groaned. "I know, she took one look at his stupid face and left immediately!"

"But why?" asked Peter.

"Argh, he's just confusing her all over again!" he replied, banging his fist on the table. "You know what he said to me?"

"What did he say?" asked Sirius, now really mad too.

"He said, Lily's gonna realise how shallow I am, and leave me and run off to him… he talks as if Lily doesn't have a brain of her own!" James replied.

"That slug!" said Sirius. "I want to strangle him!"

"And we're not even together! We're not even proper friends!" said James vehemently.

"Wait, did he actually say, 'run back to him'?" asked Remus.

"Well, no. But it was implied," said James.

"Godric, he needs to move on!" said Peter, shaking his head.

James sighed. "I know, I was going to tell him that. But it's not that easy, Peter," he said, and Sirius and Remus glanced at each other. "I mean, look at me, still pining after the same girl… and _he_ was best friends with her! I reckon he just wants her to be happy, you know," he added.

The others smiled at him.  
"You're a really decent guy, Prongs," said Remus.

"Nah, I'm just rich," James replied, and they laughed.

"What happened, then?" asked Peter.

"Then, he took out his wand and told me to go away, so I came back."

"What! Just like that?" asked Remus, his eyebrows raised.

"Who are you and what've you done with Prongs?" said Sirius.

" _You_ missed an opportunity to hex Snivellus?" asked Peter, astonished.

"That's only cos I thought Lily was still here. Don't go ruining my reputation now," said James, and they all laughed again.

Lily walked back to Gryffindor tower as fast as she could. She was confused all over again. First of all, she wondered what her friends would say if she told them she liked James now. Would they be disappointed in her? She didn't know what to think. She remembered all those reasons she had given herself to avoid considering James, in the first place. And if Salima found out that she liked James, she would think what a shameless girl Lily was.  
 _But Lily, why are you considering her opinion now? They've broken up. Yeah, but why did they break up? Did they- did they break up because of me?! Because Salima somehow found out I like him?!_  
If that were the case, she'd feel guilty forever! She had never wanted to be the reason the couple broke up!  
Yes, she had misunderstood James for a long time. And yes, she was slowly falling for him - maybe already fell for. But did he still have feelings for her? If he did, why would he tell Marlene that he wasn't going to bother with her anymore? Surely, no one promised such things if they still liked someone, right? So, that meant he didn't like her anymore, and that she was forcing her presence on him by asking him all her doubts in Transfiguration, where he just wanted to avoid her.  
 _I can't do that, that would be plain wrong..._


	94. A Couple of Lobalugs

**Author's notes: So soz, guys. Major writer's block since the past two days. But I'm back today, and I hope you like what I've written. Besos!**

* * *

It was three in the morning of New Year's Day. Everyone was done celebrating and was fast asleep. But Remus Lupin couldn't sleep. The stupid Restless leg syndrome was back. He tossed and turned and finally got out of bed, put his jumper on and went down to the Common room. The fire was still burning, so he lay down in front it and put his legs very close to the flames, like half a metre away. It was really hot, and the heat seemed to push the restlessness away. He sighed loudly. _Finally some relief._ He slowly closed his eyes.

After around ten minutes, Sirius woke up and peeked out of his curtains. Both James and Peter's curtains were closed, so he got out from under his sheets and carefully got to his feet. He moved to cross the room, but bumped his toes against the leg of his four poster and yelped in pain. " _Fffuck_ ," he whispered, massaging his toes. Then he walked over to Remus' bed and opened the curtains.  
 _Hey, where did he go?_

"Moony!" Remus heard Sirius say and jumped in surprise, and his legs touched the flames.

"OW!" he yelled, pulling his legs back quickly.

"Oh no, are you alright?!" asked Sirius, running over to examine his feet.

"I'm fine, they're not burnt," said Remus, sitting up. "They were only in there for a millisecond."

"But still, they look really red and raw, why were you doing that? That's so dangerous, having your feet so close to the fire!" Sirius scolded him.

"I know, but the _restless_ _legs_! I didn't know what else to do!" said Remus. "And they wouldn't have entered the flames if _you_ hadn't startled me."

"Sorry," said Sirius, still examining the soles of Remus' feet. "But doesn't Madam Pomfrey make you put your feet in icy water? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be too happy to find out you've been barbecuing your feet instead!" Remus kicked him and he chuckled. Then he looked around, spotted some water in a goblet. He took out his wand, froze the water. "Perfect," he said, showing Remus goblet-shaped piece of ice. Then he rubbed Remus' left foot with it.

"Hah, that's cold!" said Remus, wincing.

"What! I always thought ice tended to be tepid," said Sirius sarcastically, running the ice over this right foot now.

"Oh, Ha Ha," said Remus.

Don't laugh Moony. Like Flitwick said, ice is _snow_ laughing matter," he said, laughing stupidly.. "Get it? Snow? Like-"

"I get it," said Remus, smiling at him. Then he curled his toes and relaxed them.

"Legs still restless?" asked Sirius.

"Yes," Remus answered, frowning.

"Shall I massage them? My great uncle-"

"No, that's fine," said Remus, getting to his feet and pacing.

"Got cold feet, did you?" said Sirius, chuckling at his own pun.

"I hate this feeling, I hate it more than the transformation!" said Remus angrily.

"Whoa," said Sirius. "What exactly do you feel?"

"Ugh," said Remus. "It's like a numb itch, but it's inside the whole leg, and it's- ugh!" He curled his toes again.

"Oh, okay, okay," said Sirius. "Come here, Moony. Sit down."

"But if I sit down, the sensation worsens," said Remus frustratedly.

"I know, but I can help, I promise," said Sirius, patting the floor in front of him, and Remus sat down with a sigh. "My brother," he said, taking Remus' left foot and massaging it, pressing it really hard. "Was named after our great uncle, Regulus," "He used to visit us often, and every time he did, I was forced to press his legs."

"Wow, that feels good," said Remus. "Ouch!"

Sirius put the foot down and picked up the right one. "Lie back down. He wasn't even that old, you know, but he used to order me to press his legs all the time," he said. "I was annoyed and cross the whole time, but now that I think about it, maybe he had the same problem."

Remus lay down. " _Aah_ ," he said, smiling. "I didn't know you were so talented, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned. "Yes, I am very skilled at many things."

Then they heard someone coming down the stairs, and looked up. It was Lily, she waved at them.

"Hi Lily," said Remus.

"Hi," she said, grinning at the scene in front of her.

"Why are you up?" Remus asked her.

"Fell asleep too early, now I'm awake too early," she said, flopping onto the couch in front of them. "Oh, Happy New Year, by the way."

"Happy New Year," they said to her at the same time.

"Okay, Sirius, I think that's enough," said Remus, pulling his legs away.

"Restlessness gone?" asked Sirius.

"Almost, but it's fine," said Remus.

"Yeah, it's fine, let me press them," said Sirius, taking Remus' left foot into his lap again.

"No, really, it's fine now," said Remus, sitting up and removing his leg from Sirius' lap again.

"Remus, give me your foot," said Sirius, grabbing the foot again. "Why are you behaving like this?" Lily chuckled at them.

"Because it's too much," said Remus.

"No, it's not. Now, stop that and give me your foot," said Sirius, and Remus slowly put his foot back in Sirius' lap and Lily chuckled again.

"Are you laughing at Remus because he's suddenly acting so formal? Cos good. Laugh more," said Sirius, shaking his head at Remus.

"I almost crushed your hand the other day, and now you're pressing my feet, it isn't fair," said Remus.

"Remus, I'm your boyfriend," Sirius whispered. "This isn't a barter system. Just... just allow me to take care of you."

"No I'm okay," said Remus.

"Why do you do that? I wont let you suffer alone. I get that you don't like depending on anyone to help you, and I know why. It's because no one can really solve your furry little problem. But we can help with other things, you've seen that, right?" said Sirius. "If something bothers you from now on, tell me about it. Don't act like it's okay. And don't hide it. If you're in pain, be in pain in front of me. Stop trying to handle everything on your own. You don't have to worry about worrying me, I'd rather have you be honest in front of me than wonder what happened to you as you try and hide it. let's do this together, alright? Together. That's what being in a relationship is."

Lily glanced at Remus, he was looking at Sirius with such tenderness in his eyes. "Okay," he whispered.  
She smiled to herself. Sirius' and Remus' relationship had to be the most exemplary archetype amongst all relationships... the quintessence of romance. _If ever I were to get into a relationship, it would only be for a love like theirs._

"So _Lily_ , why didn't you join us for the New Year's celebration?" asked Sirius.

"Oh, like I said, I fell asleep," she told him.

"Really?" asked Sirius, raising an eyebrow. "Anyone would have thought it was because you didn't have anyone to kiss at midnight."

Lily laughed. "What? That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who was single last night."

"That's true," said Sirius, smirking like she had said exactly what he wanted her to. "You weren't. I'm sure you could have found anyone else who was single and kissed them," he said casually.

Lily stared at him. That was the very reason she had avoided the party. Mary and Alice had told her about the annoying superstition everyone held in the wizarding world, that if you didn't kiss someone at midnight, you were going to have a dull, loveless year. Muggles had the same tradition, but apparently everyone in the wizarding world took the kissing very seriously. Even single people positioned themselves next to other single people just to kiss at midnight and avoid the dreaded loveless year.  
And there was only one boy Lily wanted to kiss. And she knew she couldn't have him, neither did she think she could watch him kiss some other girl again, so she'd given up on the whole thing and gone to bed early.

And it looked like Sirius knew all of this. He grinned at her. "Are you a coward, Lily Evans?" he asked her.

"Sirius!" said Remus, and Sirius looked at him. 'What are you doing?' he mouthed.

"Excuse me?" she said, scowling.

"You heard me. I'd have never believed it. Lily Evans, a coward," Sirius said.

"You don't know me," she said, getting to her feet.

"Do _you_?" asked Sirius. "Know what you want?"

For Lily, Sirius' question was like _Deja Vu_. James had asked her a similar question, the day she got Petunia's letter. _Humph! It's easy for them to ask these deep questions. What's not easy is answering them._  
But more than the question, his comment about her being a coward affected her more. Maybe because, right now, she already knew what she wanted. _Maybe I am a coward. A coward in Gryffindor, a coward not worthy of being a Gryffindor._  
"It's too early for discussions like this. I'm going down to the Kitchens for coffee," she told them and walked to the Portrait hole.

"That's right, Lily, avoid the conversation. Run away," muttered Sirius in a low voice so only Remus could hear it.

"Lily, be careful, stay alert," Remus said, she waved to him in acknowledgement and stepped out. "What is the matter with you?" he said to Sirius.

"She's exactly like you!" said Sirius, pointing at the Portrait hole. "Knows just how to avoid difficult questions."

"Yes, she's like me, but she's a girl. You can't be so confronting," said Remus.

"Girl? Marlene's a girl, and I'm direct with her," said Sirius.

"Yes, but you don't have her trust yet," said Remus, and Sirius looked up at him. "I'm sorry, but that's the truth. There's a way to talk to every person, and with Lily especially, this is not it," said Remus.

"Nah, you're right," said Sirius. "But you agree with me, don't you? We _know_ she likes James, right? So why isn't she telling him? It can't be ego, right?"

"Of course not," said Remus. "Like I said before, there's too much pressure, both options are heavily weighted. It's a case of cognitive dissonance. What she needs is a decision matrix."

"What she really needs is a hollering," said Sirius, and Remus laughed.

"No, I'm not joking. I can understand that she doesn't trust _me_ yet, but she trusts you. Why don't you talk to her?" Sirius asked him.

"I want to, I thought about it many times, but I just don't want to be another voice in her head, you know," said Remus. "Another intruding opinion."

"I'm sure even if it is intruding, your opinion won't be unwelcome," said Sirius, pressing Remus' right foot. "She listens to you."

"I know. That's why," said Remus. "What if she listens to me and does something before she's ready? And then what if she regrets it, after?"

Sirius looked up at Remus gravely. _That would be bad. And James would be devastated._ _No, I won't let her hurt him again._

Later on, Jones walked down to the Common room and looked around. It was completely empty. "Where the hell is everybody?" he asked out loud.

"They'll all down at the lake," said Dorcas, peeking at him from behind an armchair.

"The lake?! But it's freezing!" he exclaimed.

"Not down at the lake," said Dorcas, grinning. "The delegates left, but they were all so happy with us. So before they left, as a special treat, they have warmed an area of the Black lake."

"What does that even mean?" asked Jones.

"They've all collectively cast warming spells inside a _Containment Charm_. The charm covers a small area of the lake and it's bank, inside of which the water is going to be warm," she told him.

"But won't that fuck up the thermal stratification of the lake?" he asked her. "What about the creatures that live in the lake?"

"Marlene McKinnon asked the same question. Professor Kettleburn said that they've charmed it, so that after the allotted time, everything immediately goes back to how it was before."

"Oh. So, it's warm enough to go swimming in, right now?" he asked her.

"They did it for that very purpose, Jones," said Dorcas, chuckling at his excited expression. "Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, that's why you don't know. They announced it during breakfast. Everyone's just gone down. The Containment charm lasts about five hours, so go ahead if you want."

"And what are you going to do all by yourself?" he asked her, smiling.

"Enjoy the peace of an empty Common room for a good five hours," she said, stretching luxuriously.

Jones laughed at her. "Okay, see you later then."

She sat back down and smiled to herself, pulling her blanket tighter around herself. Regulus had given her the blanket for Christmas, and it was the softest thing she had ever touched. She sighed contentedly as she drank her cocoa. _Having a rich boyfriend definitely has its benefits._

Slowly, all the sixth and seventh years made their way down to the lake. As soon as Jones entered the Containment charm, it was suddenly very warm, like a summer's day.

"Hey, Moony, are you going to be swimming in your clothes?" asked Peter, as the four Marauders walked down to the lake.

"No, Wormtail," said Remus, and lifted his jumper to show them his wetsuit.

"What is that?" asked James.

"It's called a wetsuit. Muggles wear it when they go diving or swimming in really cold places," he said happily. The others grinned.

"That's great, I'm glad you can finally join us when we go swimming," said James.

"It was Lily's idea," said Remus, pointing to a bunch of girls far away by the lake. "I had no idea these existed until she told me about them."

"Muggles are ingenious," said Sirius.

"That's why some wizards are so afraid of them," said Remus.

"Afraid of them?" asked Peter.

"Afraid of their collective power… of their technology… fear which ultimately turns to hatred," he said, thinking of Grindelwald's strategies.

Peter really didn't understand it. _Why would a magic wand wielding wizard be afraid of muggles?_

When the Marauders took off their clothes, James and Peter ran up the pier. Sirius stared at Remus openly.

"What are you doing?" asked Remus, grinning.

"Staring at your hotness," said Sirius.

"You're the hot one, look at yourself!" said Remus, pushing him towards the edge and showing him his reflection.

Sirius looked at his own reflection and chuckled. "I know I look nice, but this _wetsuit_ of yours, I don't know how to say this, Moony. I can see your every curve. Everyone can literally see the shape of your bum."

Someone laughed behind them and they turned around. It was Lily. She was wearing a sunshine yellow bathing suit and her hair was up in a bun.

"Find something funny, Lily?" asked Sirius.

"No, no. I find what you said to be quite accurate, Sirius," she said. " _Cheeky_ wetsuit."

"Okay, that's enough, I'm going in," said Remus, walking along the small pier to where James and Peter and the other boys were hanging out.

"Nice wetsuit, Lupin," said Goldstein, one of Antoine's friends.

"I get cold," said Remus, grinning.

"It's quite warm in here, you might get hot," said Goldstein.

"Nah, it's not that warm, just perfect. You'll be fine," said Antoine.

"Yeah, come on in, lads," said Pratap, and Peter whimpered. James grinned at Remus and pushed Peter into the water. Peter squealed loudly as he fell in.

Sirius laughed and turned to Lily, but she wasn't laughing. She was staring at James, as if mesmerised. He looked almost as fit as a professional Quidditch player.

"Yeah that's right, that _is_ James 'Sexpot' Potter," he said, and she blushed and spluttered. "Oh, give it up, Lily. You were staring at him, don't lie," he teased her. "In fact you were further undressing him with your eyes."

"I wasn't looking at James, I was staring at the best arse at Hogwarts," she said.

"Hey, that arse is my property," said Sirius and she laughed. They watched as Remus picked James up like he was a pillow and threw him into the lake, amid his protests.

Lily laughed loudly. "He's so stupid," she said.

"So are you," said Sirius and suddenly picked Lily up. She was so light.

"No no no, please please, Sirius!" she protested, be he didn't listen. He walked up the pier, holding her. "Sirius, please, I wasn't planing on going in," she said, but he ignored her. "Please, I'm scared, I don't know what kind of creatures are lurking in there..."

"You learnt about all of them in Care of Magical Creatures! Maybe _Nelly Longarms_ is waiting to pull you into the chilly depths of the lake..." he said, trying to scare her, and he was surprised at how easy it was.

"No, stop it, she's not real," said Lily, and he had to hold her tighter as she wriggled in his arms.

"Perhaps you're afraid you'll accidentally step on a couple of Lobalugs, and they'll squirt their venom at your feet," he continued.

"Noooo...!" she moaned. "Wait a second, they're not even found in fresh water! You can't scare me!"

"Then why are you so afraid of the water? Grindylows? Dugbogs?" he asked her, and she suddenly looked nervous. "Hmm, looks like there's no place for you here, Lily," he said, looking down at the students in the water.

"See, it's a sign, you can put me down now," she said, as he thought about what to do. "Sirius Black! Put me down!"

Then he turned. The other side of the pier was empty. "Look, there's no one here," he said and got ready to launch her into the water.

"No please!" she begged him, putting her hands around his neck. "There's no one here because it's outside the Containment zone, I'll freeze to death!"

"That's the idea, Lily," he said jokingly. She looked up at him angrily, and he chuckled. "Okay fine, I'll throw you inside the charmed area."

"Why throw me at all? Just let me be," said Lily, but he completely ignored her.

" _One_ ," he counted, and she realised he wasn't going to show her any mercy. She looked at the students in the water, and spotted James and Remus and Peter. She knew Remus would be of no help.

"James! JAMES!" she called, and he turned and grinned at her.

"Lily," he said, waving at her. He could only see their blurry outlines because he had removed his glasses.

" _Two_ ," said Sirius pitilessly. He was enjoying himself now.

"James, help me! He's going to throw me in!" she shouted.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" asked James.

Sirius grinned. "I'm deciding where I should throw her," he told James. Peter and Remus laughed.

"Sirius, put her down," said James.

"What was that? Throw her in?" Sirius asked pretending not to hear.

"NO!" squealed Lily.

"Okay," said Sirius and flung her at them. James finally took his glasses out and put them on, to see Lily flying at them. They yelled and swam out of the way just in time and she landed in the water, shrieking. She opened her eyes underwater and frantically looked around if there was anything else there, other than humans.

James walked over to her, got hold of her shoulders and straightened her. "Are you okay?" he asked her. He removed his glasses again because they were now foggy and covered in water droplets.

Then she looked at his body, his mixed race made the colour of his skin, the creamy brown of a Caffè latte. But his face and arms were more of a beautiful dark mocha, owing to all the time he spent outdoors, playing Quidditch. She glanced up into his hazel eyes, but they also had these minute turquoise streaks scattered in them, which she'd never noticed before, because they were always hidden behind those glasses of his. His jet black hair was wet and swept back for once, making his features seem different, and she was in love with all the colours. _God must have been in a really imaginative mood when he created James Potter._  
It felt like the first time she'd ever seen a human of the opposite sex. A boy. It was the moment she truly realised she was in love with him. Cos falling in love with someone doesn't just mean you appreciate their personality or their mannerisms. You appreciate _everything_ about them. Things you'd probably never notice in others, you start noticing in them, their skin, their physique, the curve of their smile, the warmth in their eyes... and you want all that. You want their arms around you, your bodies touching, you want to listen to the sound of their heart beating in their chest. You're so attracted to them, that you want every atom of their existence to become yours. It felt surreal for her, exhilarating, even. Put in one word, James Potter was-  
"Resplendent," she said out loud. She couldn't resist putting her arms on his shoulders. _If this what it felt like to be in love, how did he resist not grabbing me and kissing me? Cos that's all I want to do right now._

James grinned at her. That, she was. 'Resplendent' was a good word to describe Lily Evans. From this close, he could see every freckle on her nose, and every drop of water on her face. The winter sunlight entered her green eyes and they shone like emeralds. A rosy blush was gracing her cheeks, and her dewy lips just looked _so_ kissable.  
He knew he wasn't supposed to be flirting with her, but he couldn't help it. "I've heard many great things about your little white bikini," he said, bringing his hands to her waist.

[Remus walked over to the pier and sat up on it. "Are you seeing this, Pads?" Remus asked him.

"I am, Moony," said Sirius, sitting down next to him.]

"Did you?" Lily asked James.

"Yeah. I was hoping to meet it today," he said.

Lily chuckled. "The question is, does _it_ want to meet _you_?" she replied cheekily.

But James thought she was being serious. "Sorry," he said, letting go and giving her a fake chuckle. "I know. Girls should wear whatever they feel like."

"What?" she asked him, reluctantly letting go of his shoulders.

[What the fuck happened?!" said Sirius. "I thought they were going to _kiss_!"

"Me too," said Remus and they glanced at each other.]

"One should always dress for oneself, right?" he said, smiling at her. _Merlin, I hope she doesn't think I'm anti-feminist or something._ He honestly didn't think he had any energy left to fight with her right now.

"Yeah," she said, a bit confused now. A moment ago, she had been sure he still felt the same way about her. _What's going on?_ _I thought we were going to kiss..._  
And she blushed at the thought. "Er, where are the girls?" she asked him.

James pointed at Alice and Marlene. Alice was waving at them. "They're over there, they're-" said James, lowering his hand as he saw Marlene's concerned expression, and remembered his promise to her.

Lily waved back at Alice, but when she turned around to James, he was already making his way back to the bank to put his clothes on.

"And now he's going back to the castle," said Sirius worriedly.

"Oh no," said Remus. "Perhaps you should go after him, Sirius."

"Actually," said Peter, wading towards them. "Perhaps _you_ should go talk to Lily."

"Yeah, and tell her to stop fucking with James' feelings!" said Sirius, he was really annoyed now.

" _Sirius_ ," said Remus.

"Well, I don't know what happened there, but I just know it's her fault," said Sirius, crossly folding his arms.

"Actually, I meant you ask Lily to tell him directly that she likes him," said Peter patiently. "He's not going to, he told Marlene he wouldn't."

"Oh yeah, that's right," said Remus thoughtfully.

"That's probably why they didn't kiss," said Sirius, getting to his feet. "I'll go check on him. You talk to Lily."

"Okay," said Remus. _Oh, Lord._


	95. Biggest box of Wizochoc

**Author's notes: Thank you for the guest reviews for yesterday's chapter. You guys rock!  
Also, no, my first language isn't Spanish, but Telugu, one of the lesser known languages spoken in India :) :) But I've been learning Spanish at the YMCA! I've wanted to learn forever, and finally got the chance now. I'm in love with it, Spanish is such a romantic language :D**

* * *

"Was he bothering you again?" Marlene asked Lily as she walked over to them.

"No, we were just talking," said Lily sadly.

"Then why do you look so upset?" Marlene asked her.

"I-" Lily didn't know how to tell them. They had no clue how she felt, and she didn't think she could answer all their questions if she told them.

"Lily honey, is everything alright?" asked Alice.

"Lily, talk to us," said Mary. "It's just us."

"I know," she said, nodding. "I actually need to talk to Remus."

"Well, he's over there," said Marlene, pointing to the pier where Remus and Peter were sitting.

The way they were looking at her made her nervous, and also a little mortified. But talking to Remus had always helped her before, so why not now?  
"Okay. I'll tell you girls what's going on after I talk to him, I promise," she said to them and made her way over to Remus through the water.

"Good luck," Peter said to Remus, smirking, and went off to join the other boys playing some game with a muggle ball and a net.

"Are you okay?" he asked as she approached him.

"I don't know, I don't think I am," she said.

He helped her up onto the pier and smiled at her. "Well, tell me what's up, then."

She inhaled deeply like she was going to say something, but then she didn't, she just exhaled again.

"Lily, it's okay, just say it," he told her.

"Just don't- don't think badly of me after I tell you," she said.

"I won't, just think of me as an impartial, neutral banana tree," he said, making her giggle.

Then she sighed. "Okay," she said. "I know that by saying this, I'll be going back on many things I said over the years, and everyone might think I'm an idiot for even thinking this-"

"Just say it!"

"I like James," she said quickly, and covered her face with her hands. Then she heard him chuckle and looked up at him.

"Lily, I know," he said. He was so glad that she herself had come up to him to talk about this and not the other way around.

"What!"

"Yeah, I've known for some time now," he told her.

She stared thoughtfully at him for a few moments. "Right, probably since that day I came and told you I wasn't actually a lesbian," he said. "God, could I have been more obvious?"

He smiled at her. "Well, yeah, since that day," he said. "But Sirius told me he's known about it since before James and Salima got together."

"What! Even _I_ didn't know then," said Lily incredulously.

"But he knew," said Remus. "Sirius can be very observant when he wants to be."

"Does James know?!" she asked, and Remus' eyebrows creased. "What will he think of me?"

"What do you mean? Don't you want him to know?" he asked her.

"I..." she said, looking down at the water again. "It would be embarrassing to know that he knows of my feelings but doesn't want to reciprocate..."

"Are you serious? _His_ feelings have been un-reciprocated this whole time, but he was never embarrassed," said Remus.

"I know, I know," she said. "But that's just because he's so self-confident..."

"You're right," he said.

"So he doesn't...?" she asked him, shaking her head.

"He does," said Remus.

"He does?! He knows?!" she asked.

"I meant, he does still like you," he told her.

"He does?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, he does. Of course he does, Lily, are you kidding me?" said Remus, but she didn't smile or jump for joy, she just looked mournful. "What is it?" he asked her gently.

"Then why did he walk away, just now?" she asked.

"What exactly happened?" he asked her and she told him everything.

"Lily, if this had happened last year, he would have continued to flirt with you, but he promised Marlene he wouldn't bother you anymore..."

"I don't understand, what has Marlene got to do with all this?" she asked. "I overheard them talking about it, but I didn't ask them-"

"Because then they'd want to know why you are so interested," said Remus, grinning.

"Yeah."

"You know, I'm starting to see why everyone says we are alike," said Remus, and she smiled a little. Then Remus told her how Marlene was involved in their break-up, and Lily grinned.

"I want to gift her the biggest box of Wizochoc they have," she said.

"Oh really?" he teased. She blushed a little and he laughed at her. "So obviously, no matter how much he wants to pursue you, he won't. Until you tell him directly how you feel."

"But I'm _afraid_ ," she moaned.

"Afraid of what? You know he loves you, of course he'd say 'yes' immediately."

"I know, but I keep thinking if this is right," she said.

" _Lily_."

"You must think I'm a selfish person," she mumbled, glumly hugging her knees.

"I don't."

"Foolish, then."

"I don't. I know what you mean, you wonder if this is right. But right for whom? Severus? You don't have to take into account, the opinions of people who don't have your best interests at heart," said Remus.

She looked up at him and smiled. "That was actually really insightful, Remus," she said.

"Yeah, it is," Remus said, nodding. "Sirius taught me that."

"Sirius?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Sirius just knows these things," he said. "In many ways, he's a lot like James, that's probably why they're best friends. They really understand each other."

She smiled again.

"We keep thinking that doing what the heart wants is tricky, because there's so much at risk. But we have to trust that beyond the risk is so much happiness," he said. "Just be you, do you. Everyone who really matters," he said, gesturing at the girls. "Will understand."

Sirius put his clothes back on and went up to the dorm, but James wasn't there. He looked around for the Marauders' map, it was probably in James' trunk. He picked Coco up, who was snoozing on the trunk and checked it. James appeared to be in the grounds, walking towards Hagrid's cabin. So, he changed out of his wet swimming trunks and went down to Hagrid's. He heard sounds of laughter as he approached.  
"-and the ruddy goblin says he's never even seen the warlock before!" said Hagrid and they laughed again. Sirius grinned and knocked on the door.

The door was opened and Hagrid looked down at Sirius. "Sirius! Come on in, we were just having a cuppa," he said jovially, and Sirius grinned and followed him in. There was a roaring fire and the cabin was so warm. James nodded at him, holding a huge mug.

"Just a cuppa?" asked Sirius, warming his hands in front of the fire. "I am freezing!"

"Well, it's only going to be tea for you, Sirius," said Hagrid, grinning.

"Oh, come on Hagrid, I know you have brandy hidden somewhere in here," said Sirius, opening a shelf.

"Oh, no you don't," said Hagrid, picking him up by the back of his robes and placing him down next to James, who laughed. "I know all your tricks!"

"Fine, I'll have the tea, thanks," said Sirius haughtily. "You great lummox," he added under his breath.

James kicked him. "Padfoot, be nice."

Hagrid handed him a cup of tea. "Merlin knows how you even know I keep my brandy up there," he said. "It's for medicinal purposes only, by the way."

"Sure," said James, nodding, making Hagrid grin.

"Hagrid! Is this cup made of stone?" asked Sirius, fascinated by it.

"Er, yeah," said Hagrid. "Well, it's the only other one I have, need to buy new ones..."

James and Sirius grinned at each other. They still hadn't given Hagrid a present for his birthday, which was last month, and now they knew what to give him. Sirius frowned. _I wonder where we'd find a giant tea set though..._

"So, James, tell me, what's ailing you?" said Hagrid, sitting down on the dining-table sized chair, next to his even bigger kitchen table.

"Huh? Nothing," said James. "What's ailing you?"

Sirius took a sip of the tea and swallowed it with difficulty. He thought he'd spew if he took one more sip of it. _Damn it, I should have told Hagrid I don't like lemon in my tea!_

"Um, nothing, but why the long face?" said Hagrid. "Lady troubles?"

Sirius laughed. "How did you know?" he said.

Hagrid smiled under his beard. "What else is there at this age?" he said.

"Crushing homework? " said Sirius.

"And the war," said James. Then he looked up at Hagrid seriously. "Are you in the Order, Hagrid?" Sirius glanced at him curiously. _What's the Order?_

"Well, Dumbledore thinks- wait a second, how do you know about the Order?" Hagrid asked, his eyes wide.

"You told us last time," said James, just to pull his leg.

"What?! No I didn't... I didn't say nothing about no Order... I don't even know what order you're talking about," mumbled Hagrid.

"Ah, don't worry, we do have other sources," said James, grinning. "It wasn't you."

Hagrid looked curious. "Who's the source?"

"Oh, you know one never reveals their sources, Hagrid," said James, grinning.

"Was it a student? Cos if it is, you 'ave ter tell Dumbledore-" said Hagrid.

"He knows," said James.

"Oh, alright," said Hagrid, although he still looked suspicious.

And there was a silence, while Sirius looked around, and spotted a cushion with a hole in it, like something burrowed into it. And instead of asking about it like a normal person, he put his hand into the hole and-  
"Ouch! Something poked me!" he yelped, pulling his hand out quickly.

"What happened?" asked Hagrid, coming closer. "Oh no." Sirius' finger was bleeding.

"Don't! Don't put that in your mouth, you idiot!" said James, slapping the hand away from Sirius' mouth.

"Right," said Sirius. Knowing Hagrid, the creature could've been anything. "What's in there, Hagrid?"

"Oh, it's just a jobberknoll," said Hagrid fondly. "Found 'er in the courtyard the other day, appeared to have hurt 'er wing. But she's still young, so she's still a bit shy." He showed them the number of cuts he had on his own hand.

"You should get that checked out by Madam Pomfrey," Sirius advised him.

"Nah, I'm good, it's just a small cut," said Hagrid, waving a giant hand.

"Oh, okay. But you're still an idiot," said James to Sirius.

"Why am I the idiot? You're the idiot," said Sirius immediately.

"Who in their right mind, puts their hand in a hole like that?" asked James.

"You're right, Hagrid, it is Lady troubles," said Sirius, glaring at James. "Lily won't give him the time of day and he's moping about it."

James got to his feet and hit Sirius on the head with his empty mug. "OW!" yelled Sirius, spilling his hot tea all over himself.

"Okay, break it up, break it up!" said Hagrid, and James sat back down. Sirius rubbed his head, glowering at James.

"Ah Lily," said Hagrid, grinning. "She was here yesterday with Marlene, brought me a Christmas present! I thought she looked a bit glum as well."

"Did she say anything?" asked James, suddenly interested, Sirius exasperatedly shook his head at him.

Hagrid laughed. "We just talked about unicorns the entire time," he replied.

"Oh," said James, looking unhappy again.

"James, I'm telling you, it's going to be okay," said Sirius.

"Yeah, with a woman, you can never tell what's gonna happen next, they just like to keep you on yer toes," said Hagrid.

James and Sirius grinned at each other again. "Do you have a girlfriend, Hagrid?" James asked him.

"Ah no, it's what my ol' man used to say," he said.

"It's true, anything could happen," said Sirius, shrugging.

"That's right," said Hagrid.

"What were you saying about a warlock earlier?" asked Sirius, looking at James' expression.

"Oh yeah," said Hagrid, and he and James laughed. "Never gotta finish the story." So, he spent the next few hours recounting stories of funny people he had met at Hog's Head pub over the years and making them laugh.

Later, James and Sirius walked back to the castle in a good mood. "Peter's gonna love that story about that Italian chappie," said James.

"Yeah! Hallo, we are back," he announced, as they walked into the dorm. Remus glanced at them and sat up.

"And where have you two been?" asked Peter.

"Just at Hagrid's, he's been telling us the best stories!" said James.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" asked Peter.

"Okay, so this one time, Hagrid's at the Hog's head right, and he meets this Irish bloke who told him how he got accidentally kidnapped!"

"How does one get _accidentally_ kidnapped?" asked Peter, grinning.

"The kidnappers mistook him for someone else!" said James, and Peter and Remus laughed.

Sirius decided he'd better change out of the tea-soaked robes before he caught a cold, so he took off his coat and shirt. And the whole time, Remus stared at him. After he was done, he walked over and sat beside Remus. "I saw that."

"What?" asked Remus nervously.

"You were staring at me while I changed," said Sirius.

"I was listening to James' story," said Remus, looking away.

"You were to!"

"Was not!"

Sirius laughed. "Were to!"

Remus decided to shut him up by kissing him.

"Mmm, I love it when you kiss me first, Moony," said Sirius. "You know what I would like to do to you?"

"What?"

Sirius said something so sinful that it made Remus blush, just hearing it.

"AAAARRGH!" screamed James, dropping the rock cakes that Hagrid had given them, shutting his ears. "Can't you two fucking use _Muffliato_ or something?! Now I'll never recover!"

"Oh Godric, please tell me you didn't hear that!" said Remus, grimacing.

James looked like he was in genuine pain. "Glad _I_ didn't hear it, then," said Peter.

"Prongs, you sneaky moose," said Sirius, chuckling. "Why were you listening to us instead of telling the story?"

"Yeah, why did you? Did you _want_ to hear it?" Remus asked him teasingly.

"I'm a deer, not a moose!" said James indignantly, bending to pick up the rock cakes. The other three laughed.

"Oh no, the rock cakes have fallen to the filthy floor, you are going to have to throw them away now," said Sirius, grinning.

"Yeah, not even I'm gonna eat them," said Peter, shrugging.

"Look, I didn't mean to listen, alright! I thought you were talking about the story, so I listened! I'm not interested in experiencing your ever growing horn-"

 _Tap tap tap._ There was a bedraggled, half-frozen owl at the window. "Khonsu!" exclaimed James and opened the window to let him in. "Oh no, look at him, his feathers are all frozen!"

"He's got a letter," said Sirius. James took the letter and read it, and they watched as his demeanour change rapidly as he read it.

"Prongs, what do they say?" asked Sirius, standing up. "James?" he asked, approaching him.

"Sirius," said James, his voice was charged with panic. "McGonagall," he said simply and ran out of the room. The other three glanced at each other and followed him. Everyone in the Common room watched curiously as they ran down the stairs and towards the Portrait hole.

Lily and her friends were in the corridor outside as the Marauders ran past. "What happened?" Lily asked loudly.

"We're going to see McGonagall," Remus told her, turning back.

"She's not in her office, she's in the Staff room, they're having a meeting!" she yelled after them.

"Okay, thanks!"

"Wow, I wonder what happened," said Mary.

"James had an owl in his hands, maybe it was some urgent news," said Alice.

"Hope it's not bad news," said Lily.

"Yeah," said Marlene.

They waited for at least one of them to return, and sure enough, Remus and Peter stepped through the Portrait hole. "Remus! Remus!" called Lily, waving at them and they walked over. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

"Professor McGonagall has just Sirius and James home," he told them.

"To the estate?" asked Marlene.

"Obviously, it couldn't have been Grimmauld Place, could it, Marlene?" said Peter sardonically, and Marlene frowned.

"What happened?" Lily asked.

Remus and Peter exchanged looks. "Um, there was an unavoidable, urgent family matter to be discussed," said Remus. "So, the professor let them use her fireplace to floo over."

"Remus, what exactly is going on?" asked Lily, and she watched Peter and Remus exchange glances again. "Please, I really want to know," she said.

James and Sirius stepped out of the fireplace and into a full-blown shouting match in the parlour. "Why can't you understand, Uncle? I am serious," yelled Albert, one of James' cousins.

"Bertie!" said James, astonished. Albert was usually the quiet one.

"And who the hell is that?!" asked Danielle, his other cousin, pointing at Sirius. Sirius gaped at her guiltily.

"That's just Sirius," said James crossly.

"Sirius?! Sirius Black, heir to the Black fortune?!" asked Albert, astonished.

Sirius bit his lower lip in tension. _Shit, I've made it ten times worse. Why did I even come here?_

"He's not the heir anymore, he's living with us now," said James.

"What do you mean, living with us?" demanded Albert.

"You proclaim that you're fighting against Voldemort, but you're housing a _Black_ in your own home? What kind of nonsense is this?!" yelled Danielle.

" _They'll come and murder you in your beds and take him away_ ," said Albert dramatically.

"No, they won't!" said James loudly.

"I cannot believe you're friends with him, Jamesie!" said Albert.

"He's one of the good ones!" James told him.

"That's even worse!" said Danielle.

"Sirius' presence in this house is not relevant to the current discussion," said Monty firmly.

"Keep telling yourself that, Uncle," said Danielle savagely.

As the argument went on, Sirius pulled James aside and said, "I'm going back, James."

"No, you-"

"Please, James! I've already made it worse, I'll just go back to Hogwarts," said Sirius, scooping up some floo Powder from the tin.

"Okay, fine," said James. "Wait, Padfoot, I'm sorry."

"Don't, it's no one's fault," he replied, and James nodded.

Back at Hogwarts, everyone was looking curiously at Remus, waiting for him to explain. "Right," he said. "Well, the thing is, there was a meeting that happened at the Ministry with the Minister for Magic, Aurors and all the influential people around Britain. It was about Voldemort, and people's security, and stuff like that. James's dad attended it, and uh…"

He glanced at Peter. "Er… James' grandfather Henry, was one of the people who fought against Grindelwald, back in the day. He was very outspoken against dark wizards," Peter explained. "So, after the meeting, there were a lot of journalists waiting outside, and one of them asked Mr. Potter if he was going to be just like his dad and fight against Voldemort. So, he said 'yes'."

"Right," said Lily, nodding.

"I mean, in that situation, if you didn't say you're gonna fight, it basically means you're gonna back Voldemort-" said Peter.

"They're gonna fight anyway, Pete," said Remus. Then he turned to her. "So, he basically announced to the world that they're gonna fight against Voldemort."

"James' cousins are not thrilled," said Peter.

"Danielle and Albert, his cousins, they don't want to fight-"

"They're scared for their families-"

"Oh no," said Lily. "That's awful… understandable, but still really awful."

Remus and Peter nodded. "Well, we don't know what that letter said, but I guess James has gone to talk to them… I dunno, convince them, maybe?" said Peter.

"Yeah, probably," said Remus. "How could they do that, though?"

"Fear... It warps your thinking, I guess?" said Lily, giving Remus a significant look. He smiled at her.

"Yeah," said Mary and the others nodded.

James stood alone in the previously crowded parlour, breathing heavily. Danielle and Albert had left, and Monty and Mia had gone to walk them to the gates. He couldn't believe all the things they had said. They'd called his father reckless, and irresponsible, and thoughtless. They had said he didn't learn from grandfather's mistakes. They had ridiculed Mia for letting a _Black_ stay at the house.  
"That's literally like standing in front of a raging hippogriff and asking it to attack you," Danielle had said. And then they had left without even saying goodbye. But they did say they wanted nothing to do with them anymore.

"James?" said Monty, and James turned around. His parents walked over and hugged him.

Mia sighed. "At least we have each other, darling," she said.

"Yeah," said James miserably.

Then Monty looked around. "But where did Sirius go?" he asked.

"He went back to Hogwarts, he felt pretty bad," said James, smiling humourlessly.

"Oh no, the poor thing," said Mia.  
"He was feeling guilty for making things worse for us," said James. Mia and Monty looked at each other. "He always says he's used to the prejudice, that it's no one's fault, but I know he feels awful," said James.

"Hmm, why don't you write to him? Tell him what happened. I'll go see what Jani is up to… have to tell her it's only us three for dinner now," she said awkwardly and and walked out of the room. Monty patted James' shoulder and followed his wife out of the room.

James walked over to the writing desk in the parlour, took out a piece of parchment and sat down to write. He would probably never see his nieces and nephews ever again.

The Potters were usually never quiet during dinnertime, there was always jokes and laughter, but today, it was as silent as a library at midnight. "Merlin, this sucks," said James out loud.

"I agree, this sucks," said Monty, nodding, and James chuckled.

"James, I suggest you go back to Hogwarts tomorrow," said Mia.

"What? Why?" asked James. "I still have holidays left, school starts next week."

"Yes, but I think it will be best for you," she said. "I'll write to Minerva, and she can give us a time of day to floo over."

"Okay, if you insist," said James.

Remus and Peter were also having dinner with the girls in the Great Hall. "I still cannot believe it!" said Mary, with her mouth full of sandwich. " _You like James!_ "

Remus and Peter grinned at each other. "Yes, it was hard for me to accept as well," said Lily.

"Don't want to put a damper on everything, but are you sure, Lily?" said Alice, and the two Marauders glanced up at Lily.

"Yes, I'm sure. I like James," said Lily.

"Sirius?" said Marlene.

"No. James," said Remus.

"No, Sirius is back, look!" said Marlene, pointing.


	96. Normalcy

Everyone turned to look at Sirius. As he walked into the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall, who was sitting at the teacher's table, was shocked to see him. They watched as she hailed him, stepped down the raised platform, and they appeared to discuss something very important. After that, he walked over to the Gryffindor table, smiling to himself, and sat down next to Remus. "Hi everyone," he said. "Yep, I'm back."

"Sirius, why are you back? What happened?" Remus asked.

"Me going over there was a terrible idea," he said, and told them all what had happened at the Potter Estate. "So, I said Hogwarts, but the floo network didn't respond, and that was when I realised that McGonagall had probably closed off her line again. So, I flooed over to that abandoned restaurant behind _Dervish and Banges_ and walked back," he told them.

"How is an abandoned restaurant still connected to the network? Doesn't the Floo Regulation committee check?" asked Alice.

"Well, I'm glad they didn't check, otherwise I couldn't have returned, and would've had to just stand there..." said Sirius.

"Very awkward," said Remus, nodding, and everyone chuckled.

"Especially when they think you're a death eater," said Marlene grimly.

Sirius nodded sadly and looked around the table at all the food, and grabbed a chicken sandwich. Peter and Remus exchanged looks.

"They're just paranoid, Sirius," said Peter.

"Yeah," said Remus.

"No, he's worried about James," said Lily, guessing quite accurately and Sirius looked up at her.

"Yeah, I am, I have no idea what's gonna happen, but it didn't look good," he replied.

"Well, what's the worst that could happen in this situation" she asked him.

"They somehow convince James' parents to chicken out of the war, and James to sever all ties with me," said Sirius, and everyone knew that was the dumbest thing ever.

Remus chuckled. "That will never ever happen, Pads," he said. "You know that."

"It won't, what will really happen, is James's cousins will sever all ties with them instead," said Lily.

"Why couldn't it have a nicer ending? Danielle and Albert realise how silly they've been?" said Remus and everyone smiled.

"Don't think that's likely, mate," said Peter immediately.

"You're really sweet Remus for being so optimistic," said Marlene.

"Well, maybe they will come round, but not today," said Sirius fairly, and everyone murmured in agreement. Remus knew he was just saying it to humour him, but he was grateful anyway.

"So," said Mary, looking really confused. "When you say you walked back to the castle, you just walked in through the front gates and no one saw you? I don't understand," said Mary. "I thought there were security trolls and enchantments at all the entrances?"

The Marauders grinned at each other. Sirius shrugged. "Hmm, there might be a different way to get in and out of the castle..." he said, and the girls looked extremely interested.

"Care to divulge this different way?" said Frank, who had also been listening in.

The Marauders chuckled. "A passage," said Sirius, pretending to think deeply.

"A secret passageway into the castle?!" asked Mary. "That's so cool!"

Peter and Remus watched in dismay as Sirius told them about it. "Yeah, a passageway that connects the pantry of this abandoned restaurant to Hogwarts," answered Sirius, and the girls exclaimed.

"Well, where is it?!" asked Alice.

"How do we get in?" asked Marlene.

"It's behind the mirror on the-" Sirius began to say, but Remus kicked him.

"Ow! Remus!"

"What the hell, Sirius? Are you a Marauder or what?" said Peter.

But Sirius just laughed. "I just had to tell Minnie how I was able to come back just now," he explained. "She's gone to contact Floo Regulation and Control and shut the line down. And she also forced me to tell her about the passageway, so she's probably gonna shut it down or block it for security reasons."

"That was surprisingly responsible of you, Sirius," said Remus.

"Aw damn," said Mary. "You got me all excited for no reason."

"This sucks," said Marlene.

"That passageway can't have been the only way in and out of Hogwarts," said Alice, and the Marauders avoided each other's eyes.

"You've got an Auror's head there, Alice," said Sirius, and she beamed. "There was another one that the Slytherins were using. But we discovered it and got that one shut down too, didn't we?" Then he high-fived Peter.

"It seems to me that there's something missing in what you are saying," said Lily shrewdly.

"Whatever do you mean, Lily?" said Sirius dramatically.

Lily merely looked at him thoughtfully and went back to her sandwich. "I don't know, but there's something."

Sirius and Remus grinned at each other.

Later that night, Sirius clutched James' letter in his hand, read it and sighed. "What is it? What does he say?" asked Peter.

"He says Albert and Danielle left," Sirius replied. "And he will be coming back to Hogwarts tomorrow."

"What time?" asked Remus.

"Around eleven," said Sirius. "Oh, by the way, did you talk to Lily?"

"Oh, he did," said Peter, grinning. "Lily said earlier that she likes James now."

"Really?" said Sirius.

"Yeah. And I didn't even have to go and ask her anything, she came and told me herself," said Remus.

Sirius smirked at him. "Ah," he said. "You wouldn't have talked to her otherwise, would you?"

"I would have! After what we saw in the lake," said Remus indignantly. "And how could I have disobeyed a direct order from your lordship?"

Sirius laughed. "In that case, there are many things I'd order you to do," he said.

"At your service, my lord," said Remus, grinning.

"Okay, goodnight!" said Peter loudly, and quickly pulled his curtains other two laughed. Making Peter afraid was very entertaining.

Before Sirius went to bed, he re-read the letter. And then he thought long and hard about Lily and James, and came to a decision. The next morning, he walked up to the girls' table where Lily was idly playing with a Fudge Fly wrapper, instead of studying. "Hey Lily, can I talk to you?" he asked. The other girls suddenly looked very interested.

She looked up at him. "What about?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes.

"If I could tell you that here, I wouldn't be asking to talk to you in private, would I?" he said, getting a little annoyed.

"It's probably about James, Lily," said Marlene.

"Yes, now will you come?" he asked.

Lily got up and followed him out of the Portrait hole. "What's up?"

"Are you-" he had to pause as three seventh years walked past.

"So, you like James," he said casually, but she knew it wasn't a statement, it was a question, and she could feel the full weight the question held. This was not Remus the neutral, impartial banana tree, asking her, this was Sirius, very chaotic, _very_ partial.

"Yes," she told him.

He turned to glance at her as they climbed the stairs down the Tower. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Er. Ask him out, I guess," she said.

"Are you serious about him?"

"Yes."

"How serious?"

"Very. I mean, I like him. A lot," she replied.

"Okay. I just want to make sure, you're not going to-" he stopped himself, not wanting to say, 'hurt him again'.

But she seemed to understand. She nodded. "I know I haven't been easy to deal with."

"I didn't mean it like that," he said.

"But you did, Sirius. And it's fine," she said.

"He wrote to me last night, he said his cousins had left," Sirius told her. "Obviously, he's not going to send me long paragraphs describing how sad he's feeling, but I know him, he's gonna be pretty torn up about the whole thing."

"Okay," she said, nodding.

"And I just want you to be completely sure about your feelings," said Sirius. "Cos he's gonna be a little... vulnerable when he returns, and I..."

"You don't want me to fuck him up further," she said. "I get it, Sirius. I _am_ completely sure of my feelings now."

"How sure?"

"So sure, if he asked me to marry him right now, I'd say yes," she said, and he laughed. "But don't tell him that," she said quickly.

"I know, I know. I'll tell him when he tells me he's going to propose to you," he said, and she grinned.

"That would be perfect."

"But there is something else you should know, Lily," he said tentatively.

"What is it?"

He sighed. "I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by telling you this," he mumbled. "I haven't even told Marlene about it."

"What is it?" she asked again, more curiously. "Is this about his invisibility?"

Sirius stopped abruptly and looked at her. "His invisibility?! What are you talking about?" he asked her.

"Nothing, it's nothing, forget I said anything," se said, waving her hand like Hagrid does.

Sirius grinned to himself. _This girl is more clever than we thought._

"You were saying?" she said.

"Look Lily, I'm only telling you this, because you want to be with James, alright?" She nodded solemnly. "And you have to promise me you won't tell anyone. Because this relates not only to James but to all of us, even to Remus."

"Remus?"

"Yes, Remus. And after I've told you this, if you decide not to ask him out, you must still promise not to tell anyone about it," he said.

"But I _am_ going to ask him out," she said.

"You still have to promise."

"I promise, Sirius," she said seriously. "I promise I won't tell anyone what you're going to tell me."

"And you have to be careful about mentioning it even to us, you can't-"

"I know, I know, I have to be careful who might be listening in," she said.

"Yeah," he said, looking around. "Let's go into that broom cupboard."

"If this is a prank to get me to go into some booby-trapped broom cupboard…" she said.

"You sound ridiculously paranoid."

She sighed and followed him in, wondering what kind of Marauder secret she was going to be privy to.

"So, you know about Remus' condition, right?" he asked her, sitting down on the floor.

"His lycanthropy? Of course."

"What did Remus tell you about it?" he asked.

"Um, well, that he changes into a werewolf every month," she said.

"Yeah, but what else? Did he tell you how he feels?" Sirius asked her.

"Yeah, he gets all these aches and pains before the transformation," she said. "And sometimes he is so ill after the whole thing, that he has to stay back in the Hospital wing..."

"When did you find out about him?" he asked her.

"Some time before Christmas in fifth year," she said.

"So, you didn't know before that, did you?"

"No, when he and I became friends in fourth year, he told me he had this muggle condition related to his immunity, so he would get ill from auto-immunity issues," she told him. "I tried to visit him in the Hospital wing once or twice, but Madam Pomfrey never allowed me to see him, she always told me that e was too ill to meet anyone."

"Right," said Sirius.

"Yeah, but I did notice that you boys used to visit him every time, sand she would allow you, but not me," she said and chuckled. "I was always really jealous of that." Sirius smiled at her.

"After I found out his real condition, I was allowed to visit him," she said. "And these days, he doesn't even stay in the Hospital wing long enough to need a visit."

Didn't you ever wonder why you weren't allowed to visit him in fourth year, but are allowed now?" Sirius asked her.

Lily frowned. "Because I didn't know, back then?"

"Do you think you would have guessed his condition simply by visiting him?" he asked her.

"No," she said uncertainly.

"So why do you think you weren't allowed?"

"Honestly, I didn't even think to wonder that," she said.

"Werewolves need to roam free, they need to eat, they need that monthly dosage of human flesh," he explained, watching her reaction carefully. She didn't look disgusted, only more intrigued. "I assume you know of the Shrieking Shack?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah, that's where he goes to transform, right?"

"Yeah… it's bigger than his basement back home, but it's still an enclosed space. It's not natural for a werewolf to be locked up. A trapped werewolf often gets frustrated, and since its own body smells like a human, the wolf would scratch and bite itself, resulting in Remus coming back _every_ _time_ , looking like someone had sharpened their tools on him-"

Lily gasped. "What?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he would come back with scratches, bites, broken bones," he said, and he had to pause as he remembered those days."His shoulder would be dislocated almost every time..."

Lily covered her mouth with her hands in horror. "I had no idea," she whispered.

"Well, as you know, I'm obsessed with him, so I followed him one time in second year, and discovered his secret," he said, smiling a little. She smiled back. "After we found out, we begged Madam Pomfrey to let us visit him in the Hospital wing, and that's when we discovered what the wolf did to him every time. And it constantly ate at us, to watch him come back from his transformations looking like a _used_ punching bag or a human pin cushion!"

Lily patted his arm to comfort him.

"Poppy would put him back together, you know, but it wasn't enough. We really wanted to do something to help him… reduce his pain, to make his transformations easier. So we researched. We spent months and months in the library, reading every book on werewolves we could get our hands on. James even went through his library back home over the summer, he was determined he would find something... and he did."

"What?"

"Animals. Werewolves don't hurt animals," said Sirius.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, he found it in an old -fig book, but we really didn't know what we could do with this information. Until we came back for our third year and McGonagall showed us her animagus form, and we knew we had the perfect solution."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, nervous to hear what he was gonna say next.

"We had to become Animagi."

"Animagi?" she said incredulously.

"Yeah," he said. It wasn't easy, finding information on it. There were about a thousand books on human transfiguration in the library, we went through each and _every_ one of them…"

Lily's jaw dropped.

"Nothing in any of them. No information on how to actually become Animagi. We even went through McGonagall's file cabinets and books, getting caught multiple times-"

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, laughing.

"Yeah... basically spent most nights in the library, making the worst excuses so Remus wouldn't find out what we were doing," he said and she laughed.

"Yeah, he would never allow any of this is he knew," she said.

"Exactly. So half our time in the library, and the rest of the time in detention with McGonagall, who just _knew_ we were up to something, but she never found out what," he said, smiling.

Lily chuckled again.

"Finally, I realised, there was only one thing left for me to do... raid my own library back home. So, that's what I did. I went home for Christmas with a mission. I got caught there too, the books were booby trapped. Twenty lashes each time I was caught, but it was worth it-"

"Lashes?!"

"Yes, Lily, lashes. That's one of the lighter punishments in the Black household," he told her, smiling humourlessly.

Lily remembered Marlene telling her about Sirius's parents using the _Cruciatus_ curse on him over the summer, and nodded gravely at him.

"Yeah, the traps were there for a reason. Some of the books in there are so filled with Dark magic, that they could probably eat small children," he told her, chuckling. "It took a while for me to figure out how to break the detection charms in the library, but with the help of my Uncle Alfie, I managed to. And I finally found a book that gave detailed instructions on how to become an animagus. But it was so complicated that I _completely_ freaked out. It seemed impossible. When we came back for the second term, I showed the other two the book. Peter, obviously shared my view, but James was determined. He read the instructions, and he told us that it was actually doable. He was the one who convinced us… inspired us… It was _so_ difficult, the spells, the enchantments, the potions, the occasional nightmares, the body pains from ill-attempted transformations... he was the one who kept us going through all that... through the mental breakdowns, Pete and I wanted to give up a _thousand_ times, but he convinced us to keep going."

Lily was so in awe and so wide-eyed, that Sirius chuckled at her.

"It took us longer than it would have, because we had to keep it from Remus. I'm sure he suspected something, but he never asked us. He's like that, Remus... he was probably afraid of angering us or something. Plus, we had to secure the most rarest ingredients ever, for the transformation potion... one of them was the red flowers of this freshwater plant called _Macarenia clavigera,_ which is only found in one place in the world, the Caño Cristales river in Colombia... and then there was this particular lichen from Tasmania, Australia. And the feathers of the Tragopan-"

"How did you acquire all these ingredients?" she asked dubiously.

Sirius sighed. "Lily, don't ask questions to things you don't want answered," he said.

"I did hear Hog's Head is like a hub of dark dealings," she said, almost smiling.

"You might have heard right," he said hesitantly.

She chuckled. "And I'm guessing some part of the Black fortune might have gone into these dealings?" she asked shrewdly.

"It did, and I regret nothing!" he said, and she laughed. "At least all that wealth was useful for something!"

"So you obtained these ingredients, then what happened?"

"We worked almost every night and over the holidays... that potion took three months to brew... and finally, we did it last year. We became Animagi," he told her.  
Then he didn't speak for a few minutes, giving her time to digest the information.

"Wait," she said, finally. "You actually became Animagi?" she asked him. He nodded, smiling at her. "And you got registered?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, we didn't. It's illegal for underage wizards to do it."

"Jesus Christ! You're all illegal Animagi?!" she whispered, and Sirius chuckled again. He especially liked her religious reference, it was so muggle. "You're not fucking with me, are you? This is not some elaborate prank, right? Cos if it is-"

"It is not. I swear to you, Lily. I can show you if you'd like," Sirius offered.

"Show me?"

"Yeah, I'll show you my animagus form," he said.

"Um…"

"Brace yourself!" he said cheerfully and and immediately transformed into the black dog.

Lily squealed, clapping her hands over her mouth in shock. He wagged his tail enthusiastically and sat down in front of her, transforming back to human again, crouching on all fours. She gaped at him speechlessly.

"Evans? Lily, are you alright?" he asked, shaking her.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just... wow. You're a dog! You're an animagus!" she said, evidently having not recovered from the shock yet.

"I'm an animagus," he agreed, smiling at her.

Lily just blinked at him for a few moments. He didn't interrupt her thought process, he knew her brain must be whirring.

"Can you show me again?" she asked, smiling avidly.

He nodded at her and transformed into the dog again. She stared at him, enthralled. He pawed at her and she looked down and took his gigantic paw in her hand. He transformed back, and she looked up at his face again.

"Padfoot," she said softly, releasing his hand. "Those nicknames are not silly and meaningless, are they?"

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"What does Prongs mean?" she asked immediately.

Sirius smiled at her. _I guess she does like him._ "He's a stag, Lily," he told her.

She chuckled. "This is unbelievable! You became Animagi… illegal Animagi for Remus?"

"Yes. We go to the Shrieking Shack and hang with him the whole night, keep him company... stop him hurting himself," Sirius said. _Don't think I need to tell her about our excursions. She'll kill us._

"You keep the werewolf company?" she asked, her eyes, wide. "Don't you get scared?"

"We were nervous the first few times, to be honest. Pete still nearly pisses himself every time, but I think it helped that I'm a dog. I can understand the canine mannerisms."

She burst out laughing, mostly out of shock. "You talk to the werewolf?" she asked.

"I do. He understands me perfectly," he said proudly. She smiled at him. "Er, James does too, not just me. And Peter. He's a rat. Wormtail."

"Oh wow, he can turn into such a small animal?"

"Yeah. It's amazing."

"Amazing." she agreed, nodding. "Wow," she then said, leaning back and resting her head against the wall behind her. "And Remus doesn't hurt himself anymore?"

"No, he doesn't. Sometimes the wolf tries, but we stop him," he told her.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Sirius' words kept reverberating in her head. _He's a stag, Lily... James was determined...He was the one who convinced us… inspired us… It was so difficult, the spells, the enchantments...he was the one who kept us going…he-  
_ She frowned. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked him.

"Just... so you know," he said. "I know you won't tell anyone, because we did it to help Remus."

But she shook her head. " _You_ thought I might leave him if I found out he was an animagus, didn't you?" she asked.

"Er… Well, if you put it like that, it sounds pretty dumb, but I just didn't want him to get hurt."

She stared at him, thinking. It wasn't dumb. It showed how much Sirius loved James. "Why would I leave him, Sirius? I'm just more in love with him, thinking how much he's done for his friend... I won't hurt him, Padfoot," she said, and he smiled at her use of the nickname. Then she hugged him. "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me, I won't let you down, I promise."

"It's... yeah," he said, hugging her back.

When they went back to the Common room five minutes later, Remus met them at the Portrait hole. "What may I ask were you two doing in a broom cupboard on the sixth floor?" he asked them.

"Oh Remus," said Lily, remembering everything Sirius had told her, and hugged him. Sirius grinned at his confused face.

"Will you stop it already? You're so infuriating!" they heard Marlene yell and turned to look at her. She was talking to Peter. "You aren't taking all the facts into consideration!"

"What the fuck is going on?!" Sirius asked Remus.

"They've been at it for about ten minutes now," said Remus helplessly. "It's a debate on who is the better Magizoologist- Newt Scamander or Gulliver Pokeby."

"Yikes, getting into an argument with Marlene about anything is dangerous business," said Sirius.

"Scamander himself referenced Pokeby in his book, that itself shows who the superior one is," said Peter hotly.

"Oh Merlin!" said Marlene, exasperatedly looking up at the ceiling. "He only did that, because Pokeby is one of the few Magizoologists who complied all this stuff into a book!"

"Exactly what I'm saying!" said Peter. "You've proven my point."

"I haven't proved your point!" said Marlene. "Just because he was the first one, doesn't mean he was better, and let me tell you why. His work is so clinical and terribly boring. Have you ever tried reading it?"

"I have, I found it perfectly normal," said Peter.

"No you didn't, Newt Scamander's work is so thorough, he presented way more practical data on so many undocumented species, he busted so many silly myths-"

"Pokeby's work looks deeper into the creature's anatomy and physiology, which was actually a great help to me," said Peter.

"He'll accidentally reveal everything, come on," said Sirius urgently, and the two of them ran over to the arguing people to head Peter off.

At a quarter past eleven, the Portrait hole opened again, and James stepped in and looked around for his friends.

Sirius got up and walked over to him. "Hey Prongs, how's it going?" he asked, handing him Coco.

James grinned. "As well as can be expected, Padfoot," he said, stroking Coco's soft fur.

"And your parents?" he asked.

"I've sent them on a trip to Seal Island near St. Ives," said James. "Thought it might do them some good."

"Sounds excellent," said Sirius. "But I can't believe what you wrote in your letter, it really hurt my feelings, you know."

"What?" asked James.

"You said it's just you and your parents now, you seem to be forgetting about _me_ , _your brother_ ," said Sirius, grinning broadly.

"Sirius," said James, hugging him tightly. Sirius patted him on the back.

When he let him go, Sirius shrugged. "And Moony."

James chuckled. "Oh yeah, my brother-in-law."

"And Dorcas and Regulus," Sirius added, grinning. James nodded, chuckling. "And Marlene and Iker, cos she's my sister." James smiled at him. "You have a huge family, James," said Sirius, and pointed at the people sitting near the fire. "Look."  
Remus, Peter, Dorcas, Alice and Frank, Marlene and Iker, and Lily all waved at him.  
"Come on," said Sirius, and dragged him over to them, and they all stood up as he approached.

"Hi guys," said James, getting really emotional.

"We'll always be there for each other, James." said Alice.

"Thanks guys, I love you," he said, looking at all of them.

"We love you too," said Lily, a little dizzy with excitement. James smiled at her, making her nervous. Suddenly her hands were clammy. "How are- how are your parents doing?" she asked him, stepping forward lightly.

"They're fine, they've gone on holiday to St. Ives," he told her, putting a squirming Coco down on the floor.

"Lily's no good at small talk, James, you should know that," said Marlene.

"Um, okay," said James, a little confused.

"Well, so..." she said, ducking her head.

"Wow, you sure are blushing a lot today," said Alice, and Remus sniggered. Lily felt her burning cheeks.

"That's not blushing, she's _blooming_ ," said Marlene.

Peter chortled. "Lily flower's blooming!" he said, and everyone laughed. James looked at her curiously.

"I've honestly never seen her like this," said Remus.

"Shut up, _Moony_!" said Lily.

"Ah, there's the Lily we all know," said Marlene, and they laughed again.

"Did you just call him Moony?" asked James excitedly. "Did you know I came up with that name?"

"It's a nice name," she said shyly.

"So, Lily, didn't you have something to say to James?" said Sirius loudly.

"Ugh, Sirius," said Lily, looking anywhere but James' face. "I er- Um..."

James looked even more curious now. "What's going on, Lily?"

"Shy people produce less amounts of serotonin, James," Remus explained to him. "So, in situations like these, their nor-adrenaline increases, making them nervous. That's Stage 2."

"What? M- my serotonin levels are fine!" she said, irritated.

"Uh-huh."

"I am not a shy person."

"Then why were you stammering?" Remus asked him, and she had no answer to that.

"Wait, what's Stage 1, then?" asked Sirius, and Lily rolled her eyes.

Remus smiled. "Dopamine release. It makes you excited, yet keeps you focused. And Stage 3 is oxytocin. It makes you feel comfortable around your loved one," said Remus, and Sirius grinned at him. "But enough about the stages of love... Lily? You were saying?"

"Love?" asked James.

"James, I um... I..." said Lily, then she looked up at his face. "James, will you go out with me?" she asked directly.

James stood there, gobsmacked. Everyone laughed at his expression. Then he looked at Sirius. "You heard that, right? I didn't imagine that, right?" he asked, and everyone laughed again.

"Yeah, it's happening, Prongs," said Sirius, smiling at him.

"I told you she'd come round," said Dorcas.

James still couldn't believe it. He slapped himself across the face and everyone exclaimed.

"Right, it's not a dream because that definitely hurt!" said Sirius, and everyone laughed again.

He covered his mouth with his hand. "You're not joking, are you?"

"I'm not that insensitive, James," she said, and he fell to his knees in front of her and hugged her tightly.

"Aww," said Alice, tearing up. "Finally."

"Yes, finally," said Peter.

"James, you haven't given me an answer," said Lily, ruffling his untidy hair. It was surprisingly soft.

James let go of her and stood up. "Wait, first tell me this," he said seriously.

"What?" she asked nervously. Everyone was curious to know what he would ask her.

"Remember on our first Potions lesson this year, Slughorn mentioned Veritaserum? What was the joke Snape was laughing about? Why were you so embarrassed?" he asked her. Sirius smacked his own forehead.

Lily put her hands on her hips. "That's it, I've changed my mind, I think I'll ask Severus out instead-"

"No no no!" he exclaimed and everyone laughed. "No please. I'll go with you, of course I will, did you think I would have any other answer?"

Lily grinned. "Okay, then," she said, holding his hand. Her heart filled with yayness.

"Oh, how cute, they're holding hands," said Marlene.

"Man, I never thought I'd see the day," said Frank.

"I know, so much drama," said Marlene.

"Look who's talking, what about you two, breaking up every fifteen days for the past three years?" said Alice.

"Please Alice, it's not like you two were angels," Marlene said to her. "Every time I spoke to Frank, he either wanted advice on how to get you to talk to him again, or advice on what gift to give you. You guys alternate between being cloyingly cute or frightfully sullen, there's no in between."

Sirius laughed loudly and everyone looked around at him.

"You and Remus are the most dramatic of them all," said Frank. "Being all secretive, making mountains out of molehills… you two deserve each other, seeing as you're both crazy."

Everyone laughed. "Can't keep things to yourself, Marlene?" said Sirius and she looked guilty, but only slightly.

"Apparently we were secretive," muttered Remus to Dorcas, and she giggled.

"None of us are normal," said James.

"Normal? Where's the fun in that?" said Lily.

"Si, la normalidad es un camino pavimentado," said Iker and Marlene chuckled at everyone's confused faces.

"Vincent Van Gogh compared normalcy to a paved road," said Marlene.

"Yeah. One that's comfortable to walk on, but no flowers grow on it," said Remus.

"Can I kiss you now?" Lily asked James, and he couldn't believe she said that.

"This is the happiest day of my life! Lily, yes, but I'm not kissing you in front of these arseholes. Come on," said James, and they walked over to the Portrait hole, amid whistles and hoots from the others.

Coco suddenly jumped into Marlene's lap and she shrieked, and Remus and Sirius laughed. Then Sirius put his hand in his pocket and took out what looked like a greeting card.

"What's that?" Remus asked him.

"Received it this morning. Take a look," said Sirius, grinning and handing it to him. Remus took the card and opened it. It read-

 _Dear Sirius,  
May this New Year bring you joy and many more wonderful adventures.  
Happy New Year!  
-The Lupins._

"What the heck?!" said Remus, re-reading it.

Sirius just laughed. "What's the problem? I think it's sweet."

"It's so cringe-y!" said Remus. "Oh, why does she do these things?"

"Remus, I like it," said Sirius, taking the card back. "Don't you dare write to her whinging about this, it has nothing to do with you."

"Nothing to- this is my mother!" said Remus indignantly.

Sirius sighed. "Yes, that's why you won't get it."

 _Oh_. Remus realised the sense of acceptance this small gesture brought with it, and smiled. "I think I get it now."

Sirius put his head on Remus' shoulder and sighed contentedly. "Love you, Moony."

* * *

 **Author's note: And that's the happy end to my story, you guys! Feeling nostalgic somehow. Thank you for reading :) Every single one of your reviews encouraged me, especially when I was second-guessing what I'd written. Couldn't have done this without you, I love you all.  
Also, I have no idea what to do with my life now... perhaps I'll just keep reading Wolfstar fics till the end of my days heh-heh-heh.  
Plz plz plz do review. Tell me what you thought of it, what you liked, heck, tell me anything. Tell me if you like cats or dogs. And your fave ice cream flavour! :D :D :D Mine's chocolate.  
**


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